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14 Very Effective Communication Skills

When you’re trying to connect with the majority of people, you need to
ask yourself 5 questions:

- Are you finding a common ground between you two?

- Are you making them feel comfortable?
- Are you making them feel understood?
- Is your relationship clearly defined?
- Are they feeling positive emotions as a result of interacting with you?

In order to fulfill these goals, you might want to consider the following…

14 Effective communication skills

1. Give them the impression that you’re enthusiastic about talking to them. Give them
the impression that you would rather talk to them than anyone else in the world. When
you give them the impression that you are excited about talking to them and that you
care about them, you make them feel supremely positive and confident about
themselves. They’ll be more likely to open up to you and have deep, personable
conversations with you.

2. Ask open-ended questions about their interests. Ask questions that will get them to
talk about their interests and their life in a way they never have before. Go into as much
detail as possible and help them gain a new perspective about themselves and where
they want to go in life.

3. Adapt to their body language and feelings. Get a feel for how they are feeling at the
moment by observing their body language and voice tone. From this standpoint, you can
tailor your words, body language, and voice tone to the ones they are more likely to
respond positively to.

4. Show them approval: Tell them what you admire about them and why. One of the
best ways to instantly connect with people is to be forthright and tell them exactly why
you like or admire them. If being too direct isn’t appropriate, insinuate with a few
indirect statements here and there. Either approach can be equally as effective.

5. Listen attentively to everything they say. Don’t focus too much on what you’re going
to say next as they are talking. Instead, listen to every word they say and respond back
as relevantly and smoothly as possible. This shows people that you are truly listening to
what they have to say and you are fully engaged and in the moment with them. Also
make sure to ask questions whenever there’s something they say that you don’t quite
understand. You want to avoid all possible lapses in communication if you want to
develop a fully engaged relationship with that person.

6. Give them prolonged eye contact. Strong eye contact communicates to the other
person that you are not only captivated by them and what they have to say but that you
are also trustworthy. When done in moderation, they will also assume you are confident
in yourself because of your willingness to face them directly. As a result, people will
naturally want to pay more attention to you and what you have to say.

7. Reveal as much about yourself as possible. One of the best ways to earn someone’s
trust is to reveal yourself as openly as you can. Tell stories about interesting events from
your life or just describe zany instances from normal everyday life. As you do this, make
sure not to mention things that stray too far from where their interests and values lie.
You can let them find out more about you as the relationship progresses.

8. Give the impression that you’re both on the same team. Use words like “we, us, we’re,
our, and ourselves” to instantly build a bond. When you use those words, you make it
seem like you and the other person are on the same team while everyone else seems
more distant from the two of you.

9. Give them your best smile. When you smile at people, you communicate that you like
them and their presence brings you happiness. Smiling at them will cause them to
subconsciously want to smile back at you which will instantly build rapport between
the two of you.

10. Offer helpful suggestions. Recommend restaurants you’ve been to, places you’ve
been to, movies you’ve seen, helpful people they’d like to meet, books you’ve read, career
opportunities and whatever else you can think of. Describe what was so great about
those people, places and things and how they might appeal to the other person. If you
suggest enough ideas that interest them, they will look at you as a “go to” person when
they need to make a decision about what to do next.

11. Give them encouragement. If the person you’re dealing with is younger or in a more
difficult position than you, they might want to hear some words of encouragement from
you since you are more experienced or you seem to be doing well in life. This helps even
out the relationship. If you want to have a healthy relationship with that person, you
don’t want to seem like you have it all while the other person has nothing. Convince
them that they can surpass their problems and limitations and they will look forward to
having you as a person to talk to.

12. Appear to have a slightly higher energy level than the other person. Generally,
people want to be around those who lift them up, instead of bringing them down. If you
consistently have a lower energy level than other people, they will naturally gravitate
away from you in favor of someone who is more energetic. To prevent this from
happening, consistently indicate with your voice and your body language that you have
a slightly higher energy level so that they’ll feel more energized and positive while
around you. Don’t be so energetic that you put people off, but have just the right
amount of energy and aliveness that will slightly build up their enthusiasm.

13. Say their name in a way that is pleasing to their ears. A person’s name is one of the
most emotionally powerful words for them. But it’s not necessarily how often you say
someone’s name that has an impact but how you say it. It may help if you practiced
saying a person’s name for a minute or two so that you’ll induce just the right emotional
reaction you’re going after. Invariably, if you state their name the most eloquently out of
everyone they know, they’ll find you to be the most memorable.

14. Offer to take the relationship a step further. There are a number of things you could
do to advance your friendship with someone: offer to eat with them, talk over a cup of
coffee, see a sports game, have a beer or two with them, etc. Even if people don’t take
you up on your offers, they will be flattered that you like them enough to want to take
the friendship to a deeper level. In a way, they will look up to you because you have the
guts to take charge of your life and build friendships instead of expecting those
friendships to magically appear for you.

Become a skilled communicator

If you can develop only a few of these techniques, you’ll dramatically improve your
ability to connect with people from all walks in life and social circles. Take some time to
observe the most sociable people in your life and you’ll see many of these methods in
full use. And they aren’t done in a way that is rigid or in a way that would be too
noticeable by most people. They are done naturally and in a way that fits in with the
current situation.

For the best results, just relax and let these techniques flow out of you naturally. Be as
close to your true self as you can. Choose the techniques that fit best with your
personality and what your motives are when you interact with people. Learn to get a
feel for which ones to use for particular situations and the ones that don’t match so well
with who you are as a person.

Communication skills lead to new opportunities

Since people play such a big role in your life, your entire life will go much smoother if
you develop not only the techniques that fit best with who you are as an individual but
the ones you can think of that aren’t on this list.

Before long, you’ll learn to connect with the people you’ve always wanted to get to
know better but couldn’t because you weren’t quite sure what to say or do to build a
more meaningful relationship with them. And as a result of these new relationships,
you’ll open up an abundance of new opportunities for yourself that weren’t available to
you before. That’s the power of effective communication skills.