MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS

WORKSHEET 2

THE 12 HABITS OF
HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE
THE 12 HABITS OF HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE

Too many people give in to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes
from naturally unteachable traits that only belong to a few lucky people - the
good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented.

It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception. In reality, being likeable is under your
control, and it’s a matter of emotional intelligence (EQ).

In a recent American study, subjects rated over 500 adjectives based on their
perceived relevance to likeability. The top-rated adjectives had nothing to do
with being talented, intelligent, or even physically attractive. Instead, the top
adjectives were sincerity, transparency and authenticity (genuineness).

These adjectives, and others like them, describe people who are skilled in the
social side of emotional intelligence. Research data from more than a million
people shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likeable,
they outperform those who don’t by a large margin.

So ... I did some digging to uncover the key and most crucial behaviours that
emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them so likeable to others.

Here are 12 of the best that I've found:

Habit 1: They ask good questions

The biggest mistake that many people make when it comes to listening is that
they are so focused on the next thing that they’re going to say or how what the
other person is saying will affect them that they fail to hear what is actually
being said. The words come through loud and clear - but the meaning is lost.

A simple way of avoiding this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know that
you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question can show
that not only are you listening, you also care about what they’re saying. You’ll be
surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.
THE 12 HABITS OF HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE

Habit 2: They Put Away Their Phones

Nothing will turn someone off more than a mid-conversation text message or
even just a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation,
focus all of your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are
more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.

Habit 3: They Are Genuine

Being honest and genuine is essential to being likeable - nobody likes a fake!
People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can be
trusted. It's difficult to like somebody when you don’t know who they really are
and how they really feel.

Likeable people know who they are and are confident enough to be
comfortable in their own skin. By focusing on what makes you happy and what
drives you as an individual, you become a far more interesting person than if
you're trying to win other people over by making choices that you think will gain
their approval.

Habit 4: They Don’t Pass Judgment

If you want to be likeable, you need to be open-minded. Being open-minded

makes you approachable and interesting to other people. Nobody wants to have
a conversation with someone who is not willing to listen and who has already
formed an opinion.

Being open-minded is essential in the workplace - where approachability means

access to new ideas and help. To get rid of judgement and preconceived
notions, you must see the world through the eyes of others.

This doesn’t mean you believe what they believe or condone their behaviour - it
simply means you stop passing judgment long enough to truly understand what
makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.
THE 12 HABITS OF HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE

Habit 5: They Don’t Seek Attention

People are averse to those who desperately need attention. You don’t need to
develop a big, extroverted personality to be likeable. Just being considerate and
friendly is all you require to win people over.

When you speak in a confident, friendly, and concise manner, you'll notice that
people are much more persuadable and attentive than if you try to show them
that you’re important. People catch on to your attitude very quickly and are more
attracted to the right attitude than what you have (stuff), or by who you know!

When you’re being given attention, for example, if you’re being recognised for
an accomplishment - shift the focus to all those who worked hard to help get
you there. This may sound cliché, however, if it’s genuine, the fact that you're
paying attention to others and appreciating their help will show that you’re
appreciative and humble—two adjectives that are closely tied to like-ability.

Habit 6: They Are Consistent

Few things make you more unlikeable than if you are all over the place. When
someone approaches you, they like to know who they are dealing with and what
kind of response they can expect from you. In order to be consistent, you must
be reliable and ensure that even if your mood goes up and down, it doesn’t
affect the way you treat others.

Habit 7: They Use Positive Body Language

Becoming aware of your expressions, gestures, and tone of voice (and making
sure they’re positive) will draw people to you like flies to roadkill. Using an
enthusiastic tone, maintaining eye contact, uncrossing your arms and leaning in
towards the person who’s speaking are all aspects of positive body language
that emotionally intelligent people use to draw other people in.

Using positive body language can make a huge difference in conversations!

THE 12 HABITS OF HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE

Habit 8: They Leave a Good First Impression

Research shows that most people actually decide whether they like you or not
within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the remainder
of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound
terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains
in your likeability.

First impressions are closely linked to positive body language. A firm handshake,
strong posture, smiling, and opening your shoulders to the person you're talking
to will help make sure that your first impression is a good one.

Habit 9: They Remember People's Names!

Your name is a crucial part of your identity and it feels great when other people
use it. Likeable people ensure that they use other people's names each time
they see them. You shouldn’t just use someone’s name when you greet them -
research indicates that during conversation, people feel validated if the person
they’re speaking to refers to them by name.

If you’re good with faces but have difficulty remembering names, have some
fun with it and make remembering other people’s names a brain exercise. When
you meet someone, don’t be scared to ask their name a second time if you've
forgotten it right after hearing it. You will need to keep their name handy if you’re
going to remember it the next time you see them.

Habit 10: They Smile (Naturally)

You unconsciously mirror the body language of those you speak to. If you want
others to like you - smile at them during a conversation and they will
unconsciously return the favour and feel good as a result.
THE 12 HABITS OF HIGHLY LIKEABLE PEOPLE

Habit 11: They Know When To Talk Openly

Avoid confessions and sharing personal problems too quickly, as this will get
you labelled a complainer. Likeable people allow the other person to guide
when it’s the right time for them to open up.

Habit 12: They Balance Passion & Fun!

People naturally gravitate toward those who are passionate. Having said that, it
is easy for passionate people to come across as uninterested or too serious
because they tend to get absorbed in their work.

Likeable people balance their passion with their ability to have fun. At work -
they are serious yet friendly. They can still get things done because they are
socially effective in short amounts of time, and they capitalise on valuable social
moments. They minimise gossip and small talk and instead focus on having
meaningful interactions with their co-workers.

They also remember what you said to them yesterday or last week, which
indicates that you are equally as important to them as their work.

Final Thoughts: Bringing It All Together

Likeable people are unique and invaluable. They encourage harmony in the
workplace, network with ease, bring out the best in people around them, and
generally appear to have the most fun. Add these skills to your repertoire and
watch your likeability soar!