Developing

your Social
Styles

Jan 2013
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Social Styles in Action

Have you every noticed that people are different?

There are obvious differences – appearance, age, race, gender, height, weight, hair
colour and so on. But it goes further than that:

 Some people are quick to show their feelings

 Others tend not to show how they feel

 Some people are spontaneous in their actions and decision making

 Others are more cautious

 Some people prefer to work alone

 Some people are more comfortable working with others

 Some people like working to deadlines

 Others feel cramped by schedules

 Some people have a high attention to detail

 Some people like to exaggerate and generalise

 Some people like a lot of detail

 Others are happier with just the basic facts

So, what sort of person are you?

One of the biggest challenges that we all experience in our working lives is that of
building strong relationships with the people that we come into contact with,
particularly those that are most unlike ourselves.

Knowledge of your social style can help you to be successful in your personal and
business relationships. Knowledge of social styles can give you the edge!

For the past thirty years, much research has been conducted on social styles as
related to interpersonal relationships and the work of Dr. David W Merrill has formed
the basis for a number of tests and assessments used in business and industry. The
information gained, self-awareness and an understanding of ourselves and those
with whom we associate, can be of significant value in the achievement of personal
and professional goals and objectives. If we know a person’s preferred behavioural
style is we will know how to approach that person and communicate more effectively
thus enhancing our communication abilities.

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Interpersonal Dimensions

There are 2 Interpersonal Dimensions

 Responding, and

 Influencing

Responding

Responding can be defined as the way we respond to other people. In responding to

people we display how well we control our emotions and to what extent we show how
we feel. The dimension varies from ‘Reserved’ at one end of the scale to ‘Open’ at
the other:

Reserved Open

RESPONDING

Influencing

Influencing is the way in which we approach other people to get what we want. It is
how we go about influencing their behaviour and varies from ‘Indirect’ to ‘Direct’:

Indirect Direct

INFLUENCING

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Interpersonal Dimensions
Reserved

The Responding Dimension

People at the ‘Reserved’ end of the Responding Dimension are likely to:

 Prefer to talk to people on a 1:1 basis, rather than in groups.

 Hold back their feelings.

 Prefer to work alone quietly.

 Focus on the task at hand.

 Shy away from attention and prefer privacy.

 Take longer to build a close relationship with you.

 Think issues and problems through logically.

 Not use a lot of gestures or facial expressions.

 Share their feelings only after a relatively long time with people that
they know well.

 Present in a quiet, methodical manner.

 Have a few close friends that they trust rather than a large network of
contacts.

 Possibly appear uncommunicative, unfriendly or even unhelpful.

People at the ‘Reserved’ end of the Responding Dimension are likely to show less of
their feelings and focus on the task at hand.

If you think you are at the ‘Reserved’ end of the Responding Dimension, some of
these descriptions may apply to you and some may not.

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Interpersonal Dimensions
Open

The Responding Dimension

People at the ‘Open’ end of the Responding Dimension are likely to:

 Prefer to interact with lots of people and in large groups.

 Express feelings easily and readily.

 Prefer to talk issues and problems through.

 Focus on people and their feelings.

 Get energised by people and activity.

 Develop new relationships and build trust quickly. They will also come
across as being friendly.

 Be talkative, use lots of gestures and facial expressions.

 Share thoughts and feelings easily and comfortably with most people.

 Present with enthusiasm, verve and confidence.

 Have a large network and many acquaintances.

 Enjoy getting attention.

 Risk talking too much and ‘turning off’ the other person.

People at the ‘Open’ end of the Responding Dimension are likely to show more of
their feelings and focus on people.

If you think you are at the ‘Open’ end of the Responding Dimension, some of these
descriptions may apply to you and some may not.

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Interpersonal Dimensions
Indirect

The Influencing Dimension

People at the ‘Indirect’ end of the Influencing Dimension are likely to:

 Come across with an air of modesty and be dismissive of their own

successes and achievements.

 Present modestly and diplomatically.

 Ask questions rather than make statements.

 State their thoughts in a careful and non-controversial manner.

 Shy away from argument and prefer to negotiate.

 Prefer to be empathic and agreeable to the needs of others.

 Dislike aggressive behaviour and become irritated by it.

 Be supportive and come across as non-intimidating.

 Dislike pressure and pushiness.

 Deal with other people in a tactful and supportive manner.

 Prefer a diplomatic approach to resolving conflict.

 Be careful to clear up misconceptions.

People at the ‘Indirect’ end of the Influencing Dimension are likely to ask more
questions, be modest and prefer a slower pace.

If you think you are at the ‘Indirect’ end of the Influencing Dimension, some of these
descriptions may apply to you and some may not.

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Interpersonal Dimensions
Direct

The Influencing Dimension

People at the ‘Direct’ end of the Influencing Dimension are likely to:

 Convey an air of achievement, accomplishment and self-confidence.

 Present with assurance, confidence and conviction.

 Make statements rather than ask questions.

 Put across their thoughts and opinions frankly and honestly.

 Directly confront issues and challenges.

 Deal with conflict in a direct and forceful manner.

 Come across as strong-willed, direct and even aggressive.

 Dislike evasive behaviour and become annoyed by it.

 Possibly come across as intimidating and forceful, particularly to

people who are at the ‘Indirect’ end of the Influencing Dimension.

 Work with others in a ‘take-charge’ and dominant manner.

 Prefer a confrontational approach to resolving conflict and openly

argue their point of view with conviction,

 Openly challenge misconceptions.

People at the ‘Direct’ end of the Influencing Dimension are likely to make more
statements, be self-confidant and like a faster pace.

If you think you are at the ‘Direct’ end of the Influencing Dimension, some of these
descriptions may apply to you and some may not.

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Plotting Your Style

Instructions:

1. You will find 2 sets of questions below which will help you determine where
you think you sit on the Responding and Influencing Dimensions.
2. In each of the sets of questions there are 2 groups of words.
3. If you think the word on the left reflects your style then circle 1.
4. If you think the word on the right reflects you style then circle 10.
5. If you think you are in between select a number which reflects where you
think you are.
6. Try to avoid too many 5’s and 6’s.
7. When you have finished add up the circles and write the score at the bottom
of each section.

RESPONDING

Formal 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Informal
Controlled 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Responsive
Disciplined 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Spontaneous
Head oriented 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Gut (heart) oriented
Appears organised 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Appears disorganised
Reserved 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Impulsive
Withholds feelings 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Expresses feelings
Task oriented 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Relationship oriented
Cool 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Warm
Distant 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Close

Score for RESPONDING _______

INFLUENCING

Passive / gentle 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Aggressive / pushy

Hesitant/ quiet 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Communicates easily
Low in self-confidence 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Appears confident
Relaxed / submissive 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Authoritative /assertive
Goes along 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Takes charge
Asks questions 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Makes statements
Accepting 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Challenging
Shy 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Overbearing
Appears thoughtful 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Appears active
Subtle 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Active

Score for INFLUENCING _______

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Plotting Your Style (Continued)

RESPONDING

Reserved Open

0 50 100

INFLUENCING

Indirect Direct

0 50 100

Reserved

Analytical Driver

Indirect Direct

Expressive
Amiable

Open

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The Interpersonal Grid

Social Styles
Analytical Driver

 High attention to detail  Decisive actions and decisions

 Cautious and deliberate when making  Likes control of people and situations
decisions
 Dislikes inaction and inactivity
 Likes organisation and structure
 Prefers maximum freedom to
 Likes proof (ahead of promises) manage
 Relies on data collection  Cool, independent and competitive
 Works slowly alone  Low tolerance for the feelings of
others
 Wants to be right
 Works quickly alone
 Prefers task focus to people focus
 Works to deadlines
 Avoids conflict
 Likes to focus on results
 Likes to focus on individual tasks

Amiable Expressive

 Likes close personal relationships  Spontaneous in actions and decision

making
 Dislikes conflict
 Likes involvement
 Supports and actively listens to
others  Dislikes being alone
 Doesn’t pay much attention to goal  Exaggerates and generalises
setting
 Has a tendency to dream
 Has ability to gain support from
 Jumps from one activity to another
others
(and then back again!)
 Feels cramped by schedules
 Works quickly with others
 Works slowly with others
 Enthusiastic and dynamic
 Is the glue that binds the team
 Has the ability to motivate and
together
galvanise others
 Likes harmony above all else
 Is exceptionally loyal and supportive

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Style Summary
Analytical

Behavioural characteristics:

 Serious  Complies with authority

 Persistent  Cautious actions and decisions
 Orderly  Likes organisation and structure
 Perfectionist  Dislikes too much involvement
 Seeks facts and data  Slow, cautious pace
 ‘Show me’ attitude  Time disciplined
 Structured and organised  Precise
 Asks specific questions about specific  Likes problem solving activities
details
 Prefers objective, task oriented,
 Wants to be right and relies on data intellectual work environment
collection
 Works alone slowly and precisely
 Good problem solving skills
 Follows directions and standards
 Concentrates on detail
 Works under controlled
 Can be diplomatic circumstances
 Critical of performance  Checks for accuracy

Environmental Clues:

 Workplace may appear structured and organised with clear desktop.

 Walls may contain charts, graphs, exhibits or pictures pertaining to job.
 Décor is functional for working.
 Seating arrangements suggest formality and non-contact.
 Desk between them and you.

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Style Summary
Analytical

Behaviour Under Pressure:

May appear: Need:

 Over reliant on data & documentation  Guarantees that they are right

 Resistant to change  Understanding of principles and

details
 Slow to act
 Slow pace for processing information
 Slow to begin work
 Removal of any threat to accuracy
 Unable to meet deadlines

 Lacking in imagination

 Withdrawn

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Style Summary
Driver

Behavioural characteristics:

 Independent  Decisive actions and decisions

 Strong-willed  Likes control
 High ego strength  Dislikes inaction
 Prefers maximum freedom to  Cool, independent and competitive
manage self and others with others
 Low tolerance for feelings, attitudes  Works quickly and impressively by
and advice of others themselves
 Wants immediate results  Good administrative skills
 Decisive  Causes action
 Goal oriented  Dominant
 Cool and competitive  Seeks control
 Accepts challenges  Fast, impatient pace
 Takes authority  Questions status quo
 Solves problems  Can be very controlling

Environmental Clues:

 Desk may appear busy, lots of work, projects and material separated into piles.
 Walls may contain achievement awards or large planning sheet.
 Décor suggests power and control.
 Seating arrangement is closed, formal, non-contact and positioned for power.
 Desk may be large to show success and to separate them from you.

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Style Summary
Driver

Behaviour Under Pressure:

May appear: Need:

 Restless and critical  Control of situation and self

 Blunt  Tangible evidence of progress

 Intrusive  Fast pace for moving towards goals

 Unco-operative  Removal of any threat to

accomplishment
 Irritable

 Pushy

 Aggressive and bullying

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Style Summary
Amiable

Behavioural characteristics:

 Accepts change slowly and  Slow to take action and make

reluctantly decisions
 Likes close personal relationships  Dislikes interpersonal conflict
 Supports and actively listens to  Has excellent ability to gain support
others from others
 Warm and accepting  Patient and considerate
 Works slowly and cohesively with  Loyal and dependable
others
 Warm and friendly
 Agreeable
 Prefers first names/ informality
 Steady and calm
 Asks lots of questions
 Supportive
 Relationship oriented
 Empathic listener
 Amiable
 Shares personal feelings and
 Consistent
emotions
 Respectful
 Approaches risk cautiously
 Good counselling skills

Environmental Clues:

 Desk may contain family pictures and personal items.

 Walls may contain personal slogans, family or group pictures, serene pictures or
mementoes.
 Décor is relaxed, open, airy, friendly and soothing.
 Seating arrangement is open, informal, and conducive to building personal
relationships.
 No desk between them and you.

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Style Summary
Amiable

Behaviour Under Pressure:

May appear: Need:

 Wishy washy  Reassurance that they are liked

 Submissive  Personal assurances

 Passive  Slow pace for comfort and security

 Dependent  Removal of any threat to

relationships
 Hesitant

 Defensive

 Indecisive

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Style Summary
Expressive

Behavioural characteristics:

 Spontaneous actions and decisions  Likes involvement

 Stimulating  Exaggerates and generalises
 Talkative  Tends to dream and get others
caught up in dreams
 Quick pace
 Undisciplined about time
 Gregarious
 Risk-taker
 Spontaneous
 Enthusiastic
 Dramatic opinions and actions
 Optimistic
 Jumps from one activity to another
 Good persuasive skills
 Works quickly and excitedly with
other people  Emotional
 Operates on intuition  Friendly
 Motivational to be around
 Dynamic

Environmental Clues:

 Desk may look disorganised and cluttered, but they know if something is missing.
 Walls may contain awards, personal motivation slogans, stimulating posters or
notes.
 Décor is relaxed, open, airy and friendly.
 Seating arrangement indicates warmth, openness, contact and activity.
 Likes contact, may move to alternate seating arrangement when talking to you.

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Style Summary
Expressive

Behaviour Under Pressure:

May appear: Need:

 Manipulative  To get credit

 Over-eager  Action and interaction

 Impulsive  Quick pace for stimulation and

excitement
 Inconsistent
 Removal of any threat to prestige
 Superficial

 Unrealistic

 Wasteful of time

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Changing your Behaviour
Analytical

Amiable

 No change in directness
 Increase openness
 Show personal interest and discuss personal opinions
 Respond to the ideas of others

Expressive

 Increase directness
 Increase openness
 Express personal opinions
 Respond to ideas
 Be enthusiastic

Analytical

 No change in openness/directness
 Take control of the process
 Be tolerant of imperfections

Driver

 Increase directness
 No change in openness
 Be prepared to express opinions
 Be assertive and decisive

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Changing your Behaviour
Driver

Amiable

 Decrease directness
 Increase openness
 Show personal interest and encourage opinions from others
 Adopt informal slower approach and exercise patience

Expressive

 No change in directness
 Increase openness
 Be friendly and enthusiastic
 Respond to ideas and accept opinions

Analytical

 Decrease directness
 No change in openness
 Slow down and exercise patience
 Be diplomatic

Driver

 No change in openness/directness
 Remain receptive
 Do not impose your view
 Let the other person feel in control

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Changing your Behaviour
Amiable

Amiable

 No change in openness or directness

 Limit time spent in personal talk
 Be responsible for initiating action
 Establish deadlines/schedules

Expressive

 Increase directness
 No change to openness
 Be prepared to express opinions
 Be objective and try to speed up

Analytical

 No change in directness
 Decrease openness
 Adopt and organised approach
 Introduce accurate and factual information

Driver

 Increase directness
 Decrease openness
 Be assertive and objective
 Express opinions
 Be disciplined in use of time

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Changing your Behaviour
Expressive

Amiable

 Decrease directness/no change to openness

 Encourage the opinions of the other person
 Slow down, exercise patience

Expressive

 No change in directness/openness
 Exercise discipline – establish an agenda
 Give structure to interactions by note taking, verification and follow-ip
 Summarise agreements in writing

Analytical

 Decrease directness/decrease openness

 Slow down
 Adopt a formal and objective approach

Driver

 No change in directness
 Decrease openness
 Be businesslike
 Back up any feelings with facts

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Changing your Behaviour
Action Plan

Analytical Driver

Amiable Expressive

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 Social Styles
Summary

Analytical Driver Amiable Expressive

Primary Asset Factual Controlling Supportive Energising
Back-up Avoiding Dominating Acquiescing Attacking
behaviour
For growth needs Become Listen Initiate Check
to engaged
Measure of Respect Power Approval Recognition
personal value
Needs climate Focuses on Responds Provides Collaborates
that fact process
Let them save Face Time Relationships Effort
Make an effort to Accurate Efficient Co-operative Interesting
be
Support their Principles and Conclusions & Relationships Visions &
thinking actions & feelings intuitions
In sales HOW it works WHAT solutions WHY solution Who else has
situations focus is best is best used
on
For decisions Evidence & Options & Assurances & Testimony &
give them proof probabilities guarantees incentives
Follow up with Service Results Support Attention

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