Band of Brothers

Talk 1 of the Band of Brothers Weekend

Creative Element:

Pastor: Prepare basic bible quiz

Protector and Provider: Physical Challenge (arm wrestle, push ups)

Goals: To make clear the purpose of our manhood.

To set the proper tone for the weekend.
To set the right expectations.

Introduction:

This weekend is a gathering of men, a band of brothers, who are looking for deeper purpose and meaning
to their manhood. The world distorts God’s original plan for men. Society dictates what being a real man
is. Manhood is falsely measured by the number of beer bottles you can drink and your collection of
women. It is even measured by the success of your business, regardless of the means.

This weekend, we will be building up brothers who are only concerned of what God wants them to
become. God created man, therefore only He knows man’s intended purpose. When we come to know
more about God, the more we come to understand more about ourselves. This weekend we’ll be intimate
with our God through the lives of our brothers. Let us first take a look at what God intended man to be.

I. Equal but not the same

God created mankind for specific purposes. He made man and woman equal but not the same.
We are all equal in worth and dignity, but we have different roles. We are to honor God’s design for man,
as we also come to appreciate the role of the sisters in our lives.

The role of men:

a. As Pastors

The Lord anointed men to become the head of the family, to be able to lead his wife and
children to the direction closer to God.

In YFC, men always lead the prayers. The wisdom behind this is that when you become
fathers, it will be easy for you to become the priest in your home. In most homes today,
the mothers do all the praying and the fathers just keep quiet.

b. As Protectors

He molded men’s built to be physically stronger to become protectors of the women and
the weak.

We have to be gentlemen to the sisters. This is a way of protecting them from any harm
or physical strain. Let us carry their load, open the door for them, and be at the danger
side when crossing the street. These are just some examples.

c. As Providers
 God intended man to have greater physical endurance to work and provide for the family.
Sadly, there are men who depend on their wives to put food on the table. Men must do
all he can to provide the financial of the family.

In YFC, as much as we can, let us practice being providers by paying for the sisters
whenever we can. Let us also initiate in fundraising for our activities in YFC.

The role of women:

Women on the other hand have the privilege of being life givers and serve as our inspirations in our
daily lives.

Some women fail to see the privilege in bearing children, in bringing life to another human being. That all
the pain in menstruating and childbirth is worth it. The men have to compensate these by being real
pastors, protectors, and providers.

II. The failure of men

The destruction brought into the world is caused by the negligence of men to take on their role.

Breakdown of the Family

There are men who are just “tambays.” All they do is eat, drink, and gamble.
There are those who have extra marital affairs.
Men who are abusive to their wife and children

Destruction to the Environment

Due to greed, businessmen don’t care if the environment gets heavily affected. That’s
why there are landslides, flashfloods, extinct animals, and denuded forests.

Assault on Life’s Dignity

Men who are rapists because of too much build up on lust.
Wars due to hatred and greed.

These are to mention a few things that happen when we don’t seriously take on our role as Pastor,
Protector, and Provider.

III. Band of Brothers

We envision of a day that the majority, if not all of the men will truly honor God’s purpose for them. We
see that a large Band of Brothers gathering and proclaiming the victory of Christ in their lives. We start it
with this generation. We are hopeful that the future families will be blessed because of what we envision.

What is the Band of Brothers (B.O.B.) program?

This program is set to address male issues that cannot be openly discussed with the sisters.
Being a “band” simply signifies that to be able to take on our roles as pastor, protector, provider, we need
the support of a group of brothers having the same goal.

The YFC Band of Brothers will take the lead in bringing more men to Christ.
 IV. What is Brotherhood?

Brotherhood is a special bond among men who support each other to achieve a purpose.

A. The model of brotherhood

“ The group of believers was one in mind and heart. No one said that any of his belongings was his own,
but they all shared with one another everything they had.” Acts 4:32-33

Our goal is to live as how the apostles lived.

Key points of Brotherhood:

1. Brothers trust each other

This weekend, no matter what our backgrounds in life are. We are to invest in trusting
each other. That is the only way we are to be helped and to contribute. The apostles
were one in mind and heart. We are to be united by our trust.

2. Brothers mind each other

One’s concern is everyone’s concern. The apostles didn’t allow that there was one of
them in need. They gave all their belongings and shared. As for us, let us be receptive
of the needs of your brother may it be financially, emotionally, and physically.

3. Brothers respect each other

We will become very close this weekend and start to throw pranks or jokes at each other.
Although we are confident through friendship that we will not be affected by getting hurt
by the jokes, we have to maintain respect and know when you’re crossing the line. The
apostles respected each others abilities and uniqueness, that’s why they lived
harmoniously.

IV. Conclusion:

Let us get ready to discover how it is to be real men for Christ. We shall know each other’s lives as we
become more open to our lives. Jesus and His apostles are a Band of Brothers who made a global
impact by the love they’ve shown and the passion for mission. Let us become the modern day apostles…
a band of brothers for Christ!

Activity:

1.Ask the brothers of their expectations for the weekend

2. Solicit their trust, mindfulness, and respect to each other.
3. If the group is not yet bonded, give them time to share about themselves.
a. What is your idea of a true brother?
b. When were the times that I failed to become a pastor, protector, provider?
4. End with prayer
 Brothers in the Dark
Talk 2 of the Band of Brothers weekend

Creative: Turn lights off (if the session is in the evening). Have a voice over of a
battle between temptation and the conscience. Mention struggles in
attitudes, vices, sexual immorality.

Goal: To address sensitive male issues and come up with resolutions

Introduction:

Sin that lives in the dark continues growing, sin that is brought into light dies.

We are here to talk about issues that we cannot openly discuss with the sisters. Issues that we might feel
embarrassed to talk about that we need to face. God calls us to live a righteous life, to grow in holiness.
But if there are sins we hide and not give up, the path to living in righteousness will become more difficult
to tread.

I. Living in Darkness

 In YFC, we are high when we serve in camps, conferences, and assemblies. Our lives
are continually changing for the better in this community.

 Renewal is not a one shot deal. It is a process wherein we strive to overcome each
struggle on a daily basis. Men have struggles, but we usually address it on our own,
without anyone’s help.

 We hide it for fear of rejection and ridicule. We may have our past that haunts us or a sin
that we are addicted to. We put that part of our life in the darkness, and leave it to grow.
We must bring it to the light, and overcome it.

Brothers in the dark are those who struggle with theft, greed, deceit, eagerness for lustful pleasure,
envy, gossip, and pride to name a few.

II. Areas of personal struggle

a. Attitude and Habits

This area is where we usually say that “I can’t change anymore, this is the way I am, so
deal with it!” We just refuse to strive to renew ourselves because we are comfortable
already. We want the rest of the world to adjust to us.

 Impatience – easily gets irritated and mad at people. Has high pride.
 Gossiping / Backbiting– can’t help but talk about people to entertain one’s self.
 Profanity in words – not willing to tame the tongue. Makes an excuse that
he grew up saying all those cuss words.
 Always late – can’t seem to be punctual
 Disorderliness – as simple as keeping your things neat and organized

c. Vices
 Smoking and Drunkness – Harmful to health. We are not honoring
our bodies as temples of the holy spirit.
  Gambling – lust for money. We become addicted. We eventually
lose more than we win.
 Illegal Drugs – many lives have been ruined by this.
Including the immediate family environment

d. Sexual Immorality

Pre-marital Sex – desecrates sex by doing it for lustful pleasure.

It leads to unwanted pregnancies and abortion.
Pornography – makes perverts out of us. Lust will never satisfy.
Masturbation – a result of pornography. It gives us low self esteem.
Its an addiction.

IV. Brothers in the Light:

As YFC brothers we are called to walk in the light of Christ. We are called to become like Christ.

Matthew 5: 14 – 16

“You are like light for the whole world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one lights a lamp and puts it
under a bowl. Instead it is put on a lampstand, where it gives light for everyone in the house.”

A. Four actions steps of becoming brothers in the light:

1. Pray for the grace of God

Each of their areas of struggle mentioned above can only be helped by the GRACE OF GOD. Grace is
something that is given that we do not actually deserve. We must first and foremost pray earnestly for the
grace of strength from God to overcome all the temptations. We cannot do it alone. We surrender to
God’s spirit to make us strong.

2. We must choose to let go of our old ways

Everything connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of
it. We are to change the way we think and act.

Ephesians 4:22-24
“So get rid of your old self, the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires. Your
hearts and minds must be made completely new, and you must put on the new self, which is created in
God’s likeness and reveals itself in the true life that is upright and holy.”

3. Put on the character of Christ

Men of Identity
We should value that we are children of God. We are his
sons, and we are precious to Him. We are of high worth. Many of us, involve
ourselves in things that will eventually kill us because we do not love ourselves
and we do not value God’s love for us. Jesus clearly knew that he is God’s son,
and so he acted as one. May it be the same with us too.

Men of Integrity
 Let us do what we promise ourselves. Start with the small things. Take one day
at a time. Change is a process. Make new good habits. Seek the help of
someone who will always remind you to become better.

Men of Purity
Let us honor the body God has given us. Let us make it
- pure. Be active in your households and go for regular confessions. Become busy in doing God’s
work to avoid idle situations. “Idle hand are the devil’s workshop.” Let us be pure men of God.

V From Darkness to Light

God already delivered and freed us from darkness. He already brought us into His light and we should
claim it by living a righteous life and by being brothers in the light. Living a righteous life is hard and we
get frustrated when we fall again. God knows that we can easily get discouraged. At times we want to
give up, we want to throw our hands up and say, “ Forget it” There just seems to much to do and too far to
go. But don’t give up! [(Galatians 6:9) “So Let us not become tired of doing good; foe if we do not give up,
the time will come when we will reap the harvest”] Don’t become tired; as you continue to please God, a
harvest of righteousness will begin to grow. It may not come up overnight, and at times you may feel like
you’re not changing at all. But you will be.

Becoming like Christ is a long, slow process of growth, spiritual maturity is neither instant nor automatic,
and it is a gradual, progressive development that will take the rest of your life. Our hope for change is
based in God’s grace. Because of Jesus we can have victory over darkness. He died for our sins that we
can stand justified before God and know that He will sanctify us day by day. As brothers let’s get ready of
dying ourselves and search HIS light.

Activity:

1. Reflection Song:
Take me Out of the Dark (Gary Valenciano)

2. Open discussion: The facilitator opens the floor for questions.

Speaker should set the following expectations:
- The speaker is not here to pretend to know all the answers to all
the questions

- for every question, the whole group chips in to solutions. This becomes an empowering exercise
rather than being of do’s and don’t’s.

3. Close with prayer

 My Brother’s Keeper
Talk 3 of the Band of Brothers Weekend

Goals: To encourage accountability among brothers

To strengthen commitment to righteous living
To instill strong concern for each other’s welfare

Introduction:

The mentality that destroys society is the “What’s in it for me” frame of mind. It’s always what you
can get and not more on what you can give. It’s more on “how I feel” rather than “what they feel.” (Read
Genesis 4:1-16)The story of Cain and Abel is a story of Cain’s jealousy to his brother Abel. Abel had a
better offering to God compared to Cain. God looked favorably upon Abel for what he gave was suited for
Him. Cain’s offer was not born out of the best of his abilities and God knew the wrong he had been
doing., and so God told him, “If you do well, you can hold up your head...” So Cain plotted to kill Abel out
of his resentment and embarrassment.

“Then the Lord asked Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” He answered, “I do not know. Am I my
brother’s keeper?” Genesis 4:9

When God asked for Cain’s brother, Cain washed his hands off any responsibility. Cain did not feel
accountable to the welfare of his brother. This led to a cursed life. We don’t want to be cursed. We want
to be blessed. God wants to bless our life, but it is sin that deprives us of all these. We are responsible
for our brothers. Yes, we are our brother’s keeper.

I. Blood Relations are the strongest

A. Blood is thicker than water

 Relationships get stronger when blood is spilled. That’s why in olden days, the organizations or
groups would seal their bond of brotherhood with a blood pact (e.g. the KKK). Men in fraternities and
soldires in war become closer to the other men when they fight for the same cause and shed blood in
the process.

 As a brother in YFC, you put your life in the hands of the person you are committing to, just as he is
committing to you. Just like in the police force, you watch your brother’s back

 First Knight the movie –“Brother to brother, yours in life and death”

 Knowing this, we are aware that we share the greatest bond: the blood that bonds us is that of
Christ. Therefore, we are true brothers, and it is Christ’s binding blood that we honor in becoming our
brothers’ keeper.

II. How do I become my brother’s keeper?

God will ask of us the welfare of the brothers entrusted to us. We are to “keep” them in safety from any
harm. Most often, it is us who do harm. The following will help us to become responsible for our
relationships with our brothers.

A. Be a source of Unity: Harmonious Relationships

 The chain is only as strong as its weakest link

 We need to accept our differences but remain united: we are of ONE BODY but with many part (1Cor
12:12-13, 26)

B. Intense Loyalty: Protect one Another

 Physically – we exercise generosity towards one another

 Reputation – never believe gossip; NEVER SPREAD GOSSIP, EVEN AS A JOKE: protect one
another’s reputation

 Spiritually – pray for one another

C. Express Love: Have genuine Concern for Each Other

 Not only in terms of work but seeing each other grow in one’s relationship with God; fullness of being

 Honor and respect one another, no one is too little or less important

 Love – the word agape means unconditional love

D. Serve: Think Less of Self and More of Your Brother

 Let us take on the attitude of a servant. When Jesus washed the feet of his apostles, he modeled
real brotherhood. He wanted to teach them that to serve your brother is to be humble and to be
willing to attend another’s needs.

 The success of your brother is your success too. There is no room for jealousy and crab
mentality.

E. Correct: Being bold to pursue righteousness

 It is not enough that we have good relationship with each other. If we see there is something that
the brother is doing out of character and culture, it is our duty to correct. This is one of the most
evident actions to being your brothers keeper.

F. Encourage: Praising Good works and Believing in another’s capabilities

 What men lack from other men is to appreciate each other’s efforts. We are a ministry of
encouragement. In a world full of criticisms, it is very uplifting to be honored of doing good works.

 Often people limit themselves of what they can do due to a lack of affirmation from the people
around them. Give your confidence and trust to your brother. Talents come out when we push
our brother to give his best and conquer their fear.

CONCLUSION

Openness and Secrecy

We might be having this weekend activity yet achieve nothing. If we are not willing to share our struggles
to even just one brother, it is difficult for us to grow. When we learn to trust someone by sharing our
weakness, we hold ourselves accountable to that brother. When you sin again, you are answerable to
the one whom you’ve shared your secret. It is also very important to have a pact of secrecy, as to protect
the trust and reputation of the one sharing. The way to become each other’s “keeper” is to encourage
one another to live a life pleasing to God. Sin that lives in the dark grows, sin that’s brought into the light
dies.

Activity:

a. Group the brothers into three.

b. Share your areas of struggles (sexuality, family, lovelife,..etc.)
Share something you don’t usually open up to people. Sins or hurts you have difficulty giving up.
c. Listen with unconditional positive regard. No judgements.
d. Sharing of insights
e. Minister to one another by praying for each.
f. Decide to meet at a regular basis to track improvement. Each one decides to his Brother’s
Keeper.
 A Man After God’s Own Heart
Talk 4 of the Band of Brothers weekend

Creative: Sing “Foolish heart” or any song that pertains to the state of one’s heart.
Goals: To generate a response from the brothers regarding the previous talks
To end the weekend with the right posture
To strive to become like David

Introduction:

Having heard of the talks, we have been challenged to become real men for God. We have realized
God’s plan for the men, the struggles of manhood, and becoming accountable to your brother. This last
talk will point out how we can strengthen everything we have learned. Everything will boil down to the
state of our heart. We may have developed the skills and may have learned the right thing to do, but if
our hearts are not strong, we are still bound to go back to our old ways.

I. Man’s Heart

The heart is the core of our being. What we feel affects the way we act.

When we’re afraid, we are hesitant.

When we’re hurt, we want to breakdown and cry.
When our hearts are happy, we become inspiring to others.
When we’re in love, we do things we thought we couldn’t do.
(Cite more examples of how our emotions affect the people around us)

A lot of times, what we feel becomes the basis of our decisions in life.

II. Being Master of our Emotions

Knowing that our emotions is a big part of our daily lives, many of us treat it as our masters. We become
servants of how we feel. We have to realize that it is important not to trust how we feel, but to focus on
what is right.

a. Anger

When we are angry with someone, our tendency is revenge. That is why fraternity wars only becomes
worse at every encounter because it is an unending cycle of revenge. Anger dictates what to do. It
becomes our master.

David’s response to anger:

King Saul was jealous of David, and plotted to kill him. David escaped Saul’s men several times.
Twice David had a chance to kill Saul, but he focused on righteousness.

1 Samuel 24:3-7
David crept over and cut off a piece of Saul’s robe without Saul’s knowing it. But then David’s
conscience began to hurt, and he said to his men, “May the Lord keep me from doing any harm to
my master, whom the Lord chose as king!
Anger is not is sin. We are to use anger for the right causes. We are to divert anger and use it as fuel for
passion against corruption, immorality, destruction of environment, abortion and many other sinful social
sins.

b. Fear

Many of us are paralyzed by fear. We are afraid to try out new things. We hide from our troubles and
challenges. Fear makes us easily quit. We are afraid of what people may say. We are stunted by the
thought of rejection.

David’s response to fear

1 Samuel 17:33-37 – David against Golaiath

“David said to Saul, “Your Majesty, no one should be afraid of this Philistine! I will go and fight
him.
“No,” answered Saul. “How could you fight him? You’re just a boy, and he has been a soldier all
his life!
Your Majesty, “David said, “I take care of my father’s sheep. Anytime a lion or a bear carries off a
lamb, I go after it, attack it, and rescue the lamb. And if the lion or bear turns on me, I grab it by the throat
and beat it to death. I have killed lions and bears, and I will d the same to this heathen Philistine, who has
defied the army of the living God. The Lord has saved me from lions and bears; he will save me from this
Philistine.”

Bravery and Trust is our response to fear. Bravery is not the absence of fear. St. Peter, although afraid,
did not allow his emotions to overcome him. He made that decision to walk on water towards Christ.

David trusted God to deliver him to victory. God has given us previous victories upon which we can use
to build our confidence.

c. Being in love

Being in a romantic relationship could either make us or break us. It becomes a blessing if we become
closer to God through the relationship. But if it leads to more sin, it will become our downfall. Being in
love sometimes makes us out of focus in service. We become too in love, that we are willing to sacrifice
our service, studies, and even family and friends. We become slaves to this emotion. What is supposed
to be something good becomes destructive for us.

David’s struggle in being in love:

In 2 Samuel 11, David got attracted to Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah (one of David’s officers.)
David plotted to kill Uriah so he could have Bathsheba for himself. He sent Uriah to be at the front line in
one of the battles and got him killed. Through the prophet Nathan, David knew God wasn’t pleased.
David repented and asked for God’s forgiveness.

We can fall into the same trap as David. David was a great king and leader, but in spite of this women
became his weakness. He didn’t treat women as how God wanted it. In our service, we have seen many
leaders backslide because of the same reason. If we get into the relationship for wrong reasons, love can
turn into lust. Let us seek for counsel from our Household heads and be guided.

III. A Man After God’s Own Heart

How can we be a man after God’s own heart?

A. Be Intimate with God

As men, we are to strive to become like David. He wrote majority of the book of Psalms. We can see
there how close David is to God. He even expressed his frustrations, pain, and anger to God. But at the
end, He praised God for his goodness and wisdom. He is a man that we can say knew God very well.
God loved him so.

It is the same with us, let us have an intimate relationship with Jesus. Let us be in love with him.

B. Use your heart to do only His will

God called David “a man after My own heart” because he always sought the will of God. Like the rest of
us, he failed in some areas of His life. But what was significant was that He went back to God and
continued to do what the Lord wanted.

When responding to your emotions, always ask yourself, “is this how the Lord would want me to
respond?” Offer your heart to God. If we are not focused to seeking His will, we will only get confused
and frustrated. Become the master of your emotions. Be the master of your heart. It is God’s gift to you.
Use it to live life to the fullest.

C. Bring others to Love God

The way to encourage others to love God, is to be in love with God yourself. Being in love with God will
truly show by the way you deal with people. Be an encourager. Be a source of joy by always smiling and
being cheerful. They say men are weak when it comes to expressing their emotions. Let us prove this
wrong by radiating in the love of God. It is when we witness that we become true instruments of
evangelization.

IV. Conclusion

We should protect our hearts from the devil’s promptings. Let us develop a strong heart that will stand
firm in times of trials and temptation. We can only overcome difficulties by being rooted in God’s love.
David’s greatness was not about his leadership as king, because there were many kings before him and
after him. He was great because he had a love for God that was greater than anything else in the world.
May all of us have a heart after God.

Activity:

1. Play a reflection song. “Exodus 15.” Stress on the lyrics of “I shall prepare Him my heart.”
2. Lead them to a commitment prayer
3. If you have a “wrist band” or “dog tag” prepared, you may have a prayover as the participants
give it to each other.
4. End with mini-praisefest.