Department of Sociology & Anthropology, GUB

(Student’s Term Paper as a Part of Mid-term Evaluation)

Semester: Spring 2021

Answer to the question – 2

Religious Conceptions on Marriage, Premarital Relation, Polygamy-
Monogamy, Forbidden Relations, Duties of Partners, and Inter-faith
Marriage and connecting those with the Real Practice(s) in the
Context of Bangladeshi Society

Submitted by
Student ID: 192018004

Course Info
Course Title: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Course Code: SOC 2001
Course Teacher: Md. Samiul Islam, Asst. Professor

(For Teacher’s use only)

Marks Obtained (out of 15):
Knowledge Skills Attitude
Mid Term Paper, Spring 2021 SOC 2001: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Department of Sociology & Anthropology

Marriage
Marriage is a loving bond between two persons of opposite sex. It is a partnership and a contract
between them, too. Over thousands of years, marriage is playing the main role of forming
families, the basic unit of a society. Therefore, marriage is also one of the most important social
events. It is celebrated in all societies. A festive mood creates within a society when some
couple marry. The rituals of marriage ceremony as well as the duties of the partners vary in
different societies. Generally, the rituals of marriage are done according to the religious belief
of the couples. Therefore, marriage is a religious event as well.

Religious Conception on Marriage

Marriage is considered as the fundamental building block in all religions. It is also considered
as a holy act. Extramarital affairs are not allowed in any of the core religions. We will discuss
how marriage and its different aspects are described in three major religions with holy book
i.e., Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, in the rest of the study. We will also focus on marriage
in Bangladeshi perspectives. In that case, most description will match Bangladeshi Muslim
marriages as they are the vast majority in our country.

Jewish View

Marriage is an important aspect in Jewish view. They believe it is an act that done to please
God. Torah says -

A man should therefore leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and
they shall become one flesh. Genesis: 2:24

Marriage is about love, companionship, being lifelong partners in Jewish view. In the process
of marriage, two souls merge together. An important aim of Jewish marriage is having children
and raise them as Jewish.

Jewish marriage rituals are taken place in two stages – Kiddushin (or betrothal) and Nisuin
(full-fledged) marriage. Kiddushin is a contract through which a woman accepts a man as her
husband. It is a process of engagement. Nisuin, completes the marriage process and the newly
married couple start their conjugal life in a new home. Jewish marriage generally does not take
place at their prayer hall, the synagogue.

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Mid Term Paper, Spring 2021 SOC 2001: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Department of Sociology & Anthropology

Christian View

Christians view marriage as a gift from the God. It considered as a holy sacrament with God’s
blessings with His presence. It is described in Bible as –

But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason, a
man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become
one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together,
let man not separate. Mark 10: 6–9

Christianity focuses on nuclear families. It gives more space the newly married couple. It also
discourages sepration. Divorce is considered as a great sin as it the separation of the flesh that
God joined together.

Christian marriage proposals are done with ringing the bride. The marriage rituals take place
at a Church or in a community hall. It includes bridal procession, wedding march, giving away
the bride, wedding vows, exchanging rings, prayer, and kissing the bride.

Islamic View

Islam views marriage as a contract between a man and a woman. It is a mandatory act to form
a family. Extramarital affairs are strictly forbidden is Islam. I In Quran, Allah says –

And of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find
tranquility in them; And He placed affection and mercy between you. Indeed, in that
are signs for a people who give thought. Surah Ar-Rum: 21

Your spouses are a garment for you as you are for them. Surah Al-Baqarah: 187

A married couple is protector of each other. Marriage is a sunnah of the prophet (sm). Islam
always encourages family life and forbids living life as a monk.

Prophet (sm) says –

Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to
do with me. Sunan Ibn Majah

Muslim marriage rituals generally take place at the bride’s house or in a community hall. The
groom with few of his relatives and friends to the venue and completes marriage rituals. In
Bangladesh includes engagement, gaye holud (turmeric), formalities at the wedding gate,
registration and accepting the marriage, reading about marriage, lectures on duties of the
married couple, and prayer. The newly married couple usually start conjugal life at the groom’s

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Mid Term Paper, Spring 2021 SOC 2001: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Department of Sociology & Anthropology

house. Most of these are practiced only in Bangladeshi (and Indian) Muslim societies, diffused
form the neighboring culture, not in other Muslim countries.

Premarital Relation

All these three religions oppose premarital sexual relationship. The views of these three major
religions regarding premarital relations are described below -

Judaism Prohibits
• A man and a woman should not stay together at a lonly place long enough that may
led sexual relationship.
• It is improper and immoral to have premarital sex.
• However, Torah does not prohibit premarital sex between a couple who can marry.

Christianity Prohibits
• Two flesh becomes one through marriage. Threfore, sexual acts must be taken place
exclusivly within marriage.
Islam Strongly prohibits
• A person cannot look at a person of opposite sex without modesty. A man and
woman is not allowed to meet at a lonely place.
• Having extramrital sexual affairs is a great sin and punishable act subject to having
four adult male witnesses.
• 'Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way.' Surah Al-Isra: 32

Social reality is different though. Premarital sexual relationship exists everywhere. Although
the religions do not support, it is widely accepted in Jewish and Christian societies, especially
in the west. In Muslim societies, it is still forbidden and very privately practiced. Living
together without marriage is very rare. In Bangladesh, premarital relations mean love affairs
without interacting sexually. Parents from both sides usually accept this type of relationships
and arrange marriage if their social statuses match. Sexual relationship is accepted only after
marriage among all religious groups in Bangladesh.

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Mid Term Paper, Spring 2021 SOC 2001: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Department of Sociology & Anthropology

Polygamy-Monogamy

Judaism
• Allowes a man to marry another woman while he is still married to another
woman. According to Jewish law this second marriage (and any others) is valid
and can therefore only be dissolved by death or divorce (Yev. 65a; Piskei ha-Rosh,
ibid., 17; Yad, Ishut, 14:3; Sh. Ar., EH 1:9; 76:7)
• It existed till 10th century. The Jewish changed this law to match Christian practice.
• Relating to women, the general principle is that "a woman cannot be the wife of
two [men]" (Kid. 7a and Rashi).

Christianity
• Not practiced in Christian socities although old testament allows a man marrying
more than one woman.
Islam
• A man can have four wives simultaneously provided that he would treat all of
them equally and justly.
• ... marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you will
not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one. Surah An-Nisa: 3
• A woman cannot marry another man while she is still married.

All religious groups in Bangladesh encourage monogamy and discourage polygamy. Although
men polygamy is allowed under some conditions in Islam, those are not practiced. The men
who marry multiple women often hide his previous marriages. The rate of polygamy is more
in economically lower-class people than the middle and upper classes.

Forbidden Relations

Marriage is prohibited between certain blood relations in all religions. Those are described
below (Please read the Islam portion first, then the others)–

Judaism Christianity Islam

All in Islam, and All in Islam, and Close blood relations, like –
• Ex-wives of • Ex-wives of uncles • Father, mother, brother, sister, son,
uncles and and ex-husbands daughter, (with step relations) and their
ex-husbands of aunts parent or kids (upward and downward)
of aunts • Marriage between • Father-in-law, mother-in-law, son-in-law,
cousins is also daughter-in-law
prohibited. • Brother or sister of father or mother.
• Milk-mothers and brother or sister who
shared milk from same milk-mother.

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Mid Term Paper, Spring 2021 SOC 2001: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Department of Sociology & Anthropology

Judaism Christianity Islam

• Sister of wife while the marriage is still
on.
Does not allow. Does not allow. • Marriage between cousins is allowed.
• Marriage with cousins of father and
mother is also allowed.
• If either father or mother is not common,
step relations will not be considered. If a
couple marry having adult kids (from
different father or mother), marriage is
allowed between their kids.
Not allowed. Not allowed in Bible. Gay marriage (marriage between same sex)
Reformist Reformist groups is completely prohibited. Gay relationship is
groups accept it. accept it. In practice, considered as a great sin.
most western
countries legalized it.
Bangladeshi law does not allow gay marriage among any religion. All others are in practice in
Bangladesh. However, marrying cousins of father and mothers is still considered as taboo
although it is not prohibited by the law.

Duties of Partners

All these three religions put man as the head of the family and woman as subordinate to
husband. It is the man’s duty to provide food, shelter, and security to his wife. Wife’s role is
mainly as housekeeper and mother. Women’s duties are not anything less important than that
of men in either of these religions. It is not the wife’s duty to earn for family. If some woman
earns, she is free to spend it as her wish according to Islamic view. According to Islam, a
woman, as mother, is the most respectable person on earth.

Bangladeshi societies generally do not value women’s roles in family much. Also, it is often
seen that woman cannot control her own earned money. The scenario is improving gradually.

Inter-faith Marriage

Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are the religions with ‘book’ (Qitab). In some limited case,
marriage is allowed among these religions. Those are described below –

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Mid Term Paper, Spring 2021 SOC 2001: Sociology of Marriage & Family
Department of Sociology & Anthropology

Judaism

• Allows men to marry woman of other faiths but not for women.

Christianity

• Discourage interfaith marriage. It is considered as the relationship of light

and darkness.
• If someone marries, they will remain married and practice each's religion.
The children, however, must be raised as Christian

Islam

• Allows men to marry woman of other faiths but not for women as they
will be the subordinate.
• Not allows to marry woman or man of other religions (without book).

Christian societies in the west do not care about interfaith marriage much. Bangladeshi law
does not prohibit interfaith marriages. But the general practice is the individual of other religion
converts to Muslim first and then the marriage takes place. In some rare case, the married
couple follow each’s religion.

Conclusion

Marriage is the most fundamental building block of family life. It is performed with social
rituals strongly guided by religions. All three religions with book (Judaism, Christianity, and
Islam) have guidelines of marriage. The rituals have been transformed over time and among
societies, yet they follow general customs in all over the world. Each religion has rules about
marriage, divorce, allowed and forbidden relationships, premarital relations, polygamy, and
interfaith marriage. Each describes the duties of the married couple as well. Religions have
strong influence on marriage in Bangladeshi societies. Although, marriage is increasingly
becoming more expensive festivity in Bangladesh and all over the world, longevity of the
marriage is decreasing at an alarming rate. All religions have guideline about marriage and
conjugal life. If those are followed accordingly, marriage will last long, and family life will be
happier.

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