all’s well that ends well (to end up with you)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/46689868.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: Gen, M/M
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Relationship: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai
Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya &
Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakajima
Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakahara
Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Dazai Osamu
(Bungou Stray Dogs)
Character: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa
Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Additional Tags: listen, ITS CRACK, mostly - Freeform, canon? idk her, Ability Swap,
Atsushi is a little shit, ooc Atsushi, possibly, idk I just think he deserves
to be a little unhinged menace to society sometimes, Blink and you miss
it Chuuya&Yosano besties agenda, atsushi makes a lot of sex jokes for
someone who hasn’t had his first kiss yet, atsushi is me, Akutagawa is
a simp, You Know I’m Right, Blink and you miss it Gin&Ranpo besties
agenda, I’m a big believer in the Nakajima-Nakahara household you
can pry it from my cold dead hands, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Kinda, they
cook together once I guess, Gin and Atsushi are best friends, fight me
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-04-23 Completed: 2023-04-25 Words: 27,259
Chapters: 7/7

all’s well that ends well (to end up with you)

by amythecinnabunny

Summary

“You what?” Dazai asks.

Atsushi glances around helplessly.

“We fucked up,” Akutagawa grumbles, glaring at Atsushi like it’s his fault
alone. Atsushi glares back.

And before Dazai can ask them to explain it to him one more time, Rashomon
erupts — a pretty white and from Atsushi.

Dazai causes problems that somehow cause solutions.

 Chapter 1

“Why?” Kunikida asks. “Why do you keep doing this?”

“Because it’s funny,” Dazai insists, because it’s easier than trying to explain his actual motives.

“I don’t understand why Fukuzawa keeps letting you do this.”

Well, because Fukuzawa sees through Dazai’s claims about humour and character building and
socialising or whatever, through to Dazai’s actual motives. Dazai smiles. “Obviously, he likes me
more than you.”

Kunikida narrows his eyes at Dazai before writing something down in his notebook. Dazai thinks
nothing of it until there’s a signature flash that accompanies Kunikida’s ability and before Dazai
can ask him what’s going on, he gets a water balloon to the face.

Kunikida snickers.

Dazai spits water out of his mouth and blinks at Kunikida. “I’m not cleaning this up.”

“I know. It’s worth it.”

“Uh, Dazai,” Tanizaki says uncertainly, gesturing slightly with his telephone, “um, it’s for you.”

Kunikida rolls his eyes as Dazai tells Tanizaki to forward the call. “It must be your wonder duo.
Hey, Yosano, do you think they capsized a car or blew up a waterfall this time?”

“Get off of me, asshole!”

Dazai is holding the phone away from his ear and waiting for a shouting match to cease.

“I think they’re fighting each other,” Yosano says seriously.

“Really? That’s so unexpected!”

“Ha ha,” Dazai says flatly. “You two are so funny.”

“Dazai!” Akutagawa screeches into the phone. Muffled, Atsushi’s yelling is audible but not
comprehensible. “Come here and fix this!”

“Yes, yes, I’m on my way.”

The line ends, cutting off enraged screaming.

“Good luck,” Ranpo calls when Dazai grabs his coat and heads to the doors.

“Ranpo,” Kunikida says, “why does the president keep letting Dazai partner up the worst pair in
the history of partners for assignments?”

Ranpo shrugs. “Dunno. Not interested.”

Kunikida huffs. After a moment, he gets up to fetch the mop.

“It’s not funny!” Atsushi cries when Dazai finally reaches the warehouse they’re hiding out in and
the first thing he does is snicker.

“It’s a little funny,” Dazai says. “Akutagawa, didn’t I teach you how to pick a handcuff?”

Akutagawa huffs and looks away. “I lost my lockpick in the fight. We’ve been like this for two
hours.”

“Mm, and why haven’t you used Rashomon to at least cut through the chain so you aren’t cuffed to
each other anymore?”

Akutagawa refuses to answer, and Atsushi mumbles too quietly to be heard.

“I didn’t quite catch that.”

“We ran into someone who wasn’t in the briefing file,” Atsushi says. “An ability user we didn’t
account for. We assumed any strangers we encountered wouldn’t have abilities, since the briefing
file was detailed about ability users, so we engaged without caution regarding physical contact. We
— she — well, we’ve had our abilities . . . swapped. And we don’t know how to use them.”

“You what?” Dazai asks, blinking slowly and amusement quickly draining from his grin.

Atsushi glances around helplessly, as though the answer will fall from the rafters.

“We fucked up,” Akutagawa grumbles, glaring at Atsushi like it’s his fault alone. Atsushi turns to
glare back.

And before Dazai can ask them to explain it to him one more time, Rashomon erupts — a pretty
white and from Atsushi.

“Dazai!”

Dazai reaches out for Atsushi and Rashomon fizzles out. He tilts his head. “Did . . . did that happen
to swap them back?”

Akutagawa and Atsushi shake their heads.

“Ah. Then perhaps I’ll need to tap the ability user,” Dazai says and he picks the cuffs for them.
“You’ll have to tell me everything you know.”

“You mean we’re stuck like this?” Akutagawa snaps.

Dazai nods, somewhat sympathetic. He can’t imagine not only losing his ability, but also having it
traded with someone else’s. Well, he thinks maybe he and Chuuya wouldn’t have a problem. But
that’s different. That’s Chuuya.

“Unfortunately,” Dazai says, “until we locate the ability user. We can hope that it’ll wear off on its
own if we have difficulty finding the ability user. But for all intents and purposes, yes. You’re
stuck like this.”

Akutagawa glares at Atsushi. “How do you live like this?”

“How do you?” Atsushi fires back. “I’m starving.”

“Starving?” Dazai says. He turns to Akutagawa. “You never mentioned starving.”

Akutagawa shrugs. “I was used to it before and now I have food. The fool is simply not used to
accommodating for Rashomon.”

“No,” Atsushi agrees, “but I am used to accommodating for the tiger. This is ridiculous!”

“How do you get rid of the tiger anyway?” Akutagawa snaps.

“You don’t. He’s just . . . kind of there. Like a permanent companion.”

Akutagawa stares at Atsushi. “He just sits there in silence?”

“I mean, you can probably talk to him. He’s a tiger. Tigers don’t talk. But, y’know, he can think
and act. You should try hugging him sometime. Not physically, of course. You know what I
mean.”

“You hug your ability?”

“Don’t you? Maybe Rashomon would be less violent if you hugged her now and then.”

On cue, Rashomon flares out. Before Dazai can reach for Atsushi, Rashomon has him suspended
from the warehouse rafters.

“Apologise and maybe she’ll let you down,” Akutagawa calls when Atsushi stops screaming.

“Rashomon is sentient?” Dazai asks Akutagawa.

“Yeah. Well, kind of. You didn’t know?”

“You never said.”

“I thought you knew.”

“How am I supposed to know something like that?”

Akutagawa frowns at Dazai. “Since when do you not know things? What happened to the great
Demon Prodigy and his all-knowing brilliance? I thought you were more perceptive than that.”

Dazai blinks at Akutagawa for a second in dumbfounded silence before his face cracks into a
delighted grin. “Oh, you’ve gotten bolder! I like it!”

To Dazai’s great amusement, when Akutagawa’s eyes widen and he presses his lips shut, a pair of
fluffy cat ears pop up on his head.

Atsushi crashes into a crate. Grumbling and complaining, he picks himself up out of the mess and
stumbles back towards Dazai and Akutagawa. He turns to Dazai the moment he catches sight of the
cat ears.

“What did you say to him?”

“What makes you think I said something?”

Atsushi points at Akutagawa’s head and the cat ears. “He’s surprised. The only things that surprise
Akutagawa are me, eyebrows and you, sometimes.”

“Fuck you, jinko.”

“Fuck you, jinko,” Atsushi fires back and grins at the look of surprise on Akutagawa’s face.
“My, my, Atsushi,” Dazai says, “when did you learn to be so foul?”

“Dazai, please. You can only spend so much time around someone like Akutagawa before you
learn to match his speed.”

“Fuck off,” Akutagawa grumbles.

“Make me, jinko,” Atsushi says, grinning again when the insult — pet name? Endearment? —
startles Akutagawa again.

Akutagawa’s cat ears twitch once.

“I’m sorry,” Dazai says, staring at Akutagawa, “but do you currently have four ears?”

Akutagawa reaches up for his ears and looks absolutely horrified when he shakes his head.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Atsushi says, “they’ll be back when the tiger’s ears go down. And you can still
hear out of the tiger’s ears. Actually, you should be able to hear more with them.”

“This is quite fascinating,” Dazai murmurs. “You’ll have to both be watched while we hunt down
the ability user. Akutagawa, can I trust you to choose someone capable of handling a tiger should
the beast make an appearance?”

Akutagawa thinks about it and nods.

“Atsushi, you’ll have to stay with me. I’ll be able to keep Rashomon from flinging you around.”

Atsushi nods.

Dazai turns to Akutagawa. “Do you need a ride?”

“I’ll call a car. We still have those, you know.”

Dazai grins. “Of course. Would you like some company while you wait?”

Akutagawa scrunches up his nose and starts to shake his head.

“I want to wait until your car arrives,” Atsushi says firmly.

“I don’t need —”

“It’s for my own peace of mind, asshole. You almost died, like, three times today alone.”

Dazai thinks there’s more going on than he’s privy to. He’s curious, but he’s sure that he’ll learn
more staying quiet and observing than he would if he asked any questions.

He learns a lot. Like the fact that Atsushi, who is so mild-mannered and polite with everyone in the
agency, is actually quite the little shit around Akutagawa.

“Don’t stand so close to me,” Akutagawa snaps after approximately two minutes of silence.

“Don’t worry, I don’t like you either. I’m just hoping Rashomon flares up and you get a taste of
your own medicine.”

“I will bite you,” Akutagawa threatens.

“Kinky.” Atsushi winks. Atsushi, who gets flustered if Dazai flirts with someone in front of him.
Atsushi, who turns red when Ranpo is in a bragging mood about the way Poe kisses. That Atsushi
fucking winks at Akutagawa.

Akutagawa gags. “Grow up.”

From the mundane reaction, Dazai can only assume that this is not a rare occurrence. Interesting.

Three more minutes teach Dazai something else.

“Has it stopped bleeding yet?” Atsushi asks softly.

Akutagawa hums, contrary to Dazai’s expectations of a snappish warning to stay out of his
business.

“Good. I thought the tiger would take care of it, but I wanted to be sure.”

Akutagawa glances at Atsushi out of the corner of his eye. “When you get home, ice the bruise and
don’t move around too much. You’re not feeling it now, but you will later. It won’t heal as fast as
you’re used to, so be careful.”

Atsushi nods. “Got it.”

Dazai watches the exchange with piqued interest. So, beneath all the bickering and attacking, they
do care about one another’s wellbeing. Dazai wonders if that’s the extent of it.

At minute six, Dazai discovers something quite delightful.

Gin arrives with a driver after six minutes of waiting in the warehouse and fusses over her brother
for a moment. Then, she thanks Atsushi for keeping him alive and nods a polite greeting to Dazai.
Atsushi watches Akutagawa get into the car and pouts once it pulls away.

“What’s that face for?” Dazai asks.

“I don’t like not hearing as much as I used to.”

“Oh?”

“Before, when I had the tiger, I could hear him even after the car doors closed.”

“Hear him? What, talking?”

“Hm? Oh, no. Like, his breathing. He likes to act like he’s fine, and then he stops putting up a front
when he thinks I can’t see him anymore. So, when it’s times like those, I text Gin to give her a
heads up so she knows what to do with him. I don’t have the tiger anymore, so I can’t do that this
time. I don’t like it.”

Oh. Atsushi cares. Very much. He didn’t know that Atsushi even had Gin’s number, let alone that
Atsushi kept tabs on her brother for her.

Dazai smiles. “I’m sure she’ll do just fine. We’ll get your ability back. Just try to play nice with
Rashomon for now.”

Atsushi nods. Then he frowns. “Please tell me we have a car too.”

Dazai continues to smile. “We’ll get a taxi.”

Atsushi sighs.

“Wait,” Kyoka says, “so Akutagawa has the tiger and you have Rashomon?”

Atsushi nods.

“What’s it like? I’ve always wondered, but Akutagawa didn’t like to talk about it.”

“Oh, it’s. . .” Atsushi trails off and scratches the back of his head as he laughs nervously. “It’s kind
of strange and kind of nice at the same time?”

Dazai thinks the difference in the way Atsushi interacts with Akutagawa and the way he interacts
with everyone else needs to be studied.

Kenji, who’s standing right behind Kyoka, tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s kind of like having a demonic imaginary friend that’s surprisingly comforting.
Rashomon is really nice when she’s not acting up.”

“She?” Yosano asks, looking up from her own paperwork.

“Yeah, she just feels like a she. I think it makes her happy to be thought of like that. Plus,
Akutagawa’s always referred to her like that.”

“Rashomon is sentient?” Ranpo asks, and Dazai feels a bit better about not knowing that now that
he knows Ranpo didn’t either.

“Kind of,” Atsushi says. “It’s more feelings than thoughts. It’s not like Rashomon has a mind of
her own, but she does lash out sometimes. She suspended me from the ceiling because I told
Akutagawa he should hug her and maybe she’d be less violent.”

Dazai manages to get a hand on Atsushi before Rashomon can do more than make an appearance.

“Like that,” Atsushi says with a nervous smile that Dazai thinks might be a little put on.

“Does Rashomon respond to your feelings?” Kyoka asks.

Atsushi shakes his head. “I don’t think so. I think she can just tell that I’m unfamiliar with her.”

Dazai thinks that might not be very accurate, and from the curious gaze Ranpo gives Atsushi, Dazai
thinks he might be right.

Tachihara is wheezing. He’s clutching his middle with one arm, and trying to find purchase on the
wall with the other. He looks absolutely red in the face and like he’s about to start crying.

Akutagawa turns to Gin. “Why is he here?”

“We just got back from an assignment ourselves. You know Tachihara and Hirotsu come over to
relax after difficult days.”

“Get rid of him.”

“You have -!” Tachihara pauses to wheeze again, sounding like someone is dragging the life out of
him with an arcade claw machine. When he speaks again, he’s almost incomprehensible through
the wheezed breath. “Cat ears!”

Akutagawa does not look impressed as Tachihara gives up and sinks to the floor.

“I think they’re cute,” Gin says, reaching up for his hair.

“Don’t touch them!” Akutagawa snaps, jumping away from Gin and covering his ears with his
hands. He has no desire to start purring in his apartment while both Tachihara and Hirotsu are
there. For a second, he wonders if Atsushi is doing all right. He’s an unhinged bastard by nature,
and Rashomon tends to get excited and flare up to match the unhinged energy.

Gin raises her hands. “Okay, sorry.”

Akutagawa feels a little bad about snapping at his sister. “They’re just . . . sensitive, okay?”

She nods. “I get it. It’s okay, promise. Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Not anymore. The idiot’s ability has a decent healing factor.”

“Oh! That’s nice!” Gin’s happy face falls. “Wait, but then that means he currently doesn’t have his
healing factor.”

Akutagawa shrugs and nods.

“Okay. I’ll just make something for him, then.”

“What?”

Tachihara even gets up and follows after Gin with Akutagawa. “Wait, why?”

“Well, he’s obviously never had to deal with the occupational hazard of his job the way everyone
else does before. He must be miserable.”

“He has one little bruise, Gin,” Akutagawa says.

“Knowing the calibre of work you do, I can only assume that your joint assignments are of the
same or similar level. Your idea of one little bruise could actually be a nasty hematoma. We might
all consider that better than expected, but I’m willing to bet he’s never had to wait a month to heal
before and on top of that, he’s probably never had to deal with the pain after the adrenaline wears
off so he's probably nauseous as hell. Therefore, if the two of you can get out of my way, I have a
soup to make.”

Tachihara and Akutagawa watch Hirotsu glide into the kitchen and silently begin to help Gin.

“This is insane,” Akutagawa says.

“Ooh, can I go buy pineapples?” Tachihara asks, leaning on the counter beside the cabinet Gin is
poking around in. He leans in front of her to get her attention. “Pineapples help with bruises, right?
I can make a fruit salad! We can put yogurt in it. You give me yogurt when I get hurt, so that’s
good too, right?”

She gives him a wary look. “Why do you want to help?”

“Because I wanna.”

“Hm.” Gin narrows her eyes at him for a moment. “Fine. But get soft fruits, like mango, melon and
papaya.”

“Atsushi doesn’t like papaya,” Akutagawa pipes up. He raises his eyebrows when Gin stares at
him. “What?”

“I was unaware you knew what his name was.”

Tachihara snorts. Hirotsu at least has the decency to turn away and snicker silently.

“When did you start learning about the weretiger’s likes and dislikes?” Tachihara asks with a grin
that says he’s about to cause some kind of shit.

“Do you have any idea how annoying it is to attempt to do a stealthy information extraction and
have a moron who is supposed to be navigating you through the building but is actually listing all
the reasons he should be in therapy in your ear? I’m forced to hear about them.”

Tachihara grins. “Sure, buddy. Gin, can I take the car?”

Gin nods. “Sure. But if I see one scratch —”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you’ll castrate me. Got it. Does anyone want anything?”

“I want you to leave and never come back,” Akutagawa says, frowning.

“Sorry, buddy, no can do. Gin said we can watch Mission Impossible tonight.”

“Oh, well, that makes me glad I’ll be staying with Chuuya while this swap thing is in effect.”

“Rude,” Tachihara says. “You just have bad taste. Mission Impossible is amazing.”

“Don’t make me regret it,” Gin says. Then she turns around and faces Hirotsu. “Clear, chicken or
miso?”

“Chicken. He’ll need the proteins, especially if he’s not used to it.”

Gin nods. “Great, can you cut the onion for me? I don’t like cutting onions.”

Akutagawa rolls his eyes. “Fine, do whatever you want. I’m going to pack some clothes.”

“Not so fast. You’re delivering the food.”

“Wh- why me?!”

Gin raises her eyebrows. “Do you think any of us know where he lives?”

“You could probably find out.”

“What, with no way of contacting him? Do you really think I could call the agency office and
they’d tell a Port Mafia battalion leader the home address of one of its detectives? Don’t be daft,
Ryuu.”

Akutagawa’s eye twitches. “Fine.”

Atsushi and Dazai share a glance when the doorbell rings.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Atsushi asks.

“Stay here,” Dazai says, getting up from the couch and leaving Atsushi with the movie they’d been
watching. Atsushi abandons the movie and gets up on the couch, leaning over the backrest to try to
see into the doorway.

He hears Dazai’s voice. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay home.”

Atsushi hears a low growl that sounds like an angry, discontent cat and jumps off the couch,
wincing when the motion sends a jolt of pain through his body. He stumbles a bit when he gets to
the genkan, his socks sliding on the hardwood floor. “Hi!” he chirps a little too excitedly, waving
at Akutagawa. He chalks it up to being relieved that Akutagawa was honestly okay enough that
he’s out and on his feet.

Dazai sighs and taps his shoulder. Atsushi smiles sheepishly. “Sorry.” He turns to Akutagawa.
“Don’t you have any tips about controlling Rashomon? Or at least keeping her from trying to
destroy the entire building?”

Akutagawa shrugs. “It’s all instinct to me. Sorry.”

“Ah, that’s all right. What’s that?”

“Oh.” Akutagawa hands the basket to Dazai. “Dinner, from the Black Lizard. They’re
appropriating my apartment again. Gin said you might be nauseous so she made something light to
eat. Tachihara made the fruit salad, though.”

Atsushi pretends not to see Dazai’s quizzical gaze on him as he smiles and rocks on his heels,
hands clasped behind his back. “Tell her I said thank you very much for the food — well, all of
them. Do you need anything? Are you doing okay?”

Akutagawa shrugs. “I’m fine. Just a little tired from today.”

Atsushi’s shoulders drip ever so slightly as he nods. “Oh. Yeah. I feel like I’m gonna fall asleep
right now.”

Akutagawa suddenly narrows his eyes at Atsushi. “Why the fuck are you running around? I told
you to be careful.”

“I’m not used to needing to be careful! By this time, I’m usually in perfect shape!”

“You’re so fucking annoying, you know that?”

Dazai clears his throat. “Akutagawa, would you like to stay for dinner? I know you’re fond of your
sister’s cooking.”

“Can’t. Chuuya said he’d throw me out the window if I didn’t get back within an hour.”

“Oh. You’re staying with chibi?”

Akutagawa shrugs. “He said he’d be able to handle any problems. And he’d keep it quiet.”

“Hm.”

Atsushi gives Dazai a wary look and glances at Akutagawa to make sure that he can tell it’s
Dazai’s scheming face too.

“Thank you for the food!” Atsushi says loudly. “Bye!”

Akutagawa flees before Atsushi even closes the door. Atsushi turns around to look at Dazai.
“Whatever you’re thinking about, no. The last time you had an idea, I had to trade my tiger for a
moody demon and I’m still bruised.”

Dazai grins. “How would you like to meet Nakahara Chuuya?”

Oh, dear God.

 Chapter 2

Chuuya expected that he’d wake up to a crash of some kind. He doesn’t exactly understand how
the tiger ability works, but he’s pretty sure the full tiger only appears under the full moon. Then
again, it’s currently in the hands of someone who’s never had it before and therefore has zero
familiarity with it. So, yes, Chuuya expects a few things in his apartment to end up broken. He’d
packed away anything important, but he’d been thinking about getting a new coffee table, so if
Akutagawa shatters the one he has, he won’t complain.

Chuuya does not wake up to a crash of any kind. In fact, he wakes up to his apartment buzzer going
off. There’s a very high chance that it’s Gin checking in on her brother, but Gin knows the
passcode to Chuuya’s apartment. So, grumbling about the lecture he plans to give her, Chuuya
drags himself out of bed and stalks down the hallway. He does pop his head into the spare room on
the way, though, to make sure Akutagawa is okay.

Chuuya wrenches the door open. “Gin, how many times do I have to tell you —”

“Good morning, Chibi-chan!”

Chuuya stares up into a face he wasn’t really looking forward to seeing today. Or at all. Ever.

“Uh, hello, Nakahara-san.”

Chuuya blinks at the boy who looks ready to bolt from the apartment. “Just Chuuya is fine.”

“Atsushi wanted to meet you,” Dazai trills.

“I did not,” Atsushi hisses at Dazai. “At least, not first thing in the morning.”

Oh. Right. Chuuya has quite literally just tumbled out of bed. He must look like quite the mess. It
would be fine if it were just Dazai — well, it wouldn’t be fine to see Dazai because Dazai makes
his blood boil — but now he’s managed to go and show off how scruffy he looks to an outsider.

“We’re sorry to bother you, N- Chuuya,” Atsushu says, grabbing Dazai’s arm and dragging him
away. “I’ll mind him better from now on.”

“Hey, I’m the one babysitting you,” Dazai says, yanking his arm from Atsushi’s grip and slipping
past Chuuya into the apartment. “Chibi’s place hasn’t changed a bit.”

Atsushi huffs. Something tells Chuuya to duck. He listens and watches something Rashomon-
looking, but white, fly over his head and stop in front of Dazai. Then to Atsushi’s mortification and
Chuuya’s amusement, the ribbon rears back and attempts to slap Dazai. Of course, Rashomon is
nullified the moment she makes contact with Dazai, but Chuuya still thinks it’s funny as hell.

“What are you doing here?”

All three of them turn to the hallway to see Akutagawa blinking blearily at them.

“You should be resting.”

Atsushi huffs again. “What are you, my dad?”

Chuuya raises his eyebrows. From what he’s heard about Atsushi from everyone who’s ever
interacted with him, Atsushi is mild mannered, kind, polite and sweet. From what he’s witnessing,
Atsushi is sharp, sassy, mildly short-tempered and most importantly, funny.

“As if I could ever spawn something as dumb and ugly as you,” Akutagawa snaps.

“Oh, please. You think the sun rises out of my ass.”

“That flat as a ruler thing? You wish.”

“Oh my God,” Chuuya whispers, so he doesn’t interrupt the show.

“I know, right?” Dazai whispers giddily, seemingly appearing right behind Chuuya from out of
nowhere. “I figured something like this would happen but I didn’t expect it to be this funny.”

Atsushi gasps. “My ass is not flat! And how would you know anyway? Have you been staring,
huh?”

Akutagawa scoffs. “Don’t flatter yourself, jinko. It’s merely an objective observation.”

“So, you were staring, then.”

“You wish.”

“Come on. Tell the truth, jinko.”

Chuuya’s eyebrows lift slightly when he notices that Akutagawa once again sports a pair of cat
ears because they shoot upright suddenly. They’d vanished sometime during dinner and Chuuya
thinks but isn’t sure that they weren’t there when he popped his head in to check on a sleeping
Akutagawa.

Which reminds him, Akutagawa was asleep. For all his annoying tendencies, Dazai was actually
really quiet. So, what woke Akutagawa?

“You’re being an asshole, jinko,” he says, ears flat atop his head. Chuuya knows that a tiger is just
a big cat and if he remembers enough about the stray cats he’s encountered, then Atsushi is about
to be attacked. But then again, Atsushi is antagonising Akutagawa. So maybe he deserves a hit or
two.

“You’re not allowed to call me that. You’re the jinko now. Do you even know my name, anyway?”

“Of course, I do. I’m not stupid.”

Atsushi huffs and folds his arms, looking away. “I don’t believe you, jinko.”

Akutagawa’s ears lift up again, and Chuuya knows that cats lifting their ears upright tends to be
indicative of a good mood. Is it not the same for the ability tiger? Or . . . or is bickering with
Atsushi something that genuinely puts Akutagawa in a good mood. . .?

“I’m going back to bed!”

Everything about Atsushi screams innocent, from the way he clasps his hands behind his back and
leans forward slightly like a curious child, to his warm smile and his soft eyes. But then he opens
his mouth and Chuuya’s eyes bug out of his head. “Mind if I join you?”

“Fuck off!” Akutagawa screeches in a high voice, fleeing the room as fast as he can.

Atsushi huffs again, this time in something of amusement.

“Don’t you look smug,” Dazai tells him. “Any particular reason?”

Atsushi gestures to the hallway. “Cats get high-pitched when they’re happy.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it works like that,” Chuuya says.

“You really wanna argue with the actual owner of that ability?”

Chuuya turns to Dazai and sees instant regret in the taller man’s eyes. Chuuya punches his arm —
he intends for it to be a light one, but he still sends Dazai stumbling a few steps. “Why have you
kept us apart for so long? I want to keep him.”

“Huh?” Atsushi says.

The look of regret on Dazai’s face is quickly replaced with one of puzzlement. Good. It’s not often
that Dazai gets surprised. “What?”

Chuuya throws his arm over Atsushi’s shoulders and it’s mighty uncomfortable, but Atsushi ever
so subtly bends his knees. “I want. To keep him. This one is mine. I will train him.”

“Um, Na- Chuuya, I appreciate the offer, but I’m really not interested in joining the mafia.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes, pretending like he’s not surprised at the complete one-eighty Atsushi’s
demeanor just took. “I’m not talking about work. When I’m done with you, that kid is gonna pass
out every time you open your mouth.”

“Ah, that — that doesn’t sound very nice.”

“Oh, trust me. It will be.”

Dazai rolls his eyes. “You can’t keep Atsushi, chibikko. I mean, just for safety reasons, he has to
stay with me. Rashomon tends to attack randomly and as much as I believe you can hold your own,
I don’t think your neighbours will appreciate it if the building gets a surprise demolition.”

Chuuya hums. “Fine.”

“Than-”

“I guess I can tolerate your stinky fish ass for a while.”

“What?”

Chuuya shrugs. “If that’s the only reason my new student has to stay with you, then you can just
stay here too. I have couches.”

Dazai squints at Chuuya before looking at Atsushi. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing!” Atsushi squeaks, eyes wide and worried.

Chuuya looks at Atsushi and grins. “This is going to be so much fun.”

Atsushi might’ve paled a little bit.

“Why are you still here?” Akutagawa asks when he leaves his room, showered and dressed, and
finds Atsushi sitting at the table with Chuuya. “Stop stealing all my mentors.”
Atsushi rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a baby, jinko.”

Chuuya blinks at Akutagawa and the sounds from everywhere increase. Damn those stupid tiger
ears.

“Why do your tiger ears keep popping up?” Chuuya asks.

“How should I know?” Akutagawa gestures at Atsushi. “Ask him.”

“I have no idea,” Atsushi says smoothly, with enough of a grin that they can both tell he’s lying.

Chuuya looks awed as he faces Atsushi. “You’re going to be my star pupil.”

Akutagawa glowers at Atsushi. “You’re not allowed to meet anyone else from the mafia. Fucking
thief.”

Atsushi smiles sweetly at Akutagawa. “Jealous? I can’t help it if I’m so charming.”

Akutagawa gags. “You’re disgusting.”

“And yet, you keep staring at my ass.”

“I hate you.”

“Your tail says otherwise,” Atsushi says, pointing to the striped tail behind Akutagawa that’s
curved like a question mark.

Akutagawa grabs the tail. “Stop fucking looking at me, jinko.”

“Oh, you silly boy. I thought we already established that you’re the jinko now.”

Akutagawa stalks into the kitchen, still holding his tail. What the fuck is it telling Atsushi?
Akutagawa’s going to have to look up cat behaviour so he knows why Atsushi keeps looking so
irritatingly victorious every time one of the tiger’s features appear.

He looks up into the dining room and watches Atsushi sit in his seat like a schoolboy being
scolded even though Chuuya is talking to him very gently and kindly. Odd — Atsushi’s never like
that. Maybe he’s just intimidated by Chuuya?

“I have a question for you,” Dazai says, joining Akutagawa in the kitchen. “Is Atsushi always like
that with you?”

“What do you mean with me? He’s just always so infuriating. I hate it.”

Dazai hums, looking somewhat contemplative. “Interesting.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

Dazai sighs, making a show of giving up. “This kind of behaviour is new for me. I’ve never seen
Atsushi like that before. I have to admit, I’m a little at a loss with how to deal with him.”

“Whatever,” Akutagawa says, not really interested in trying to figure out what that means. “Why
are you still here?”

“Chuuya . . . sort of demanded that we stay.”

“For how long? Till lunch? Dinner?”

Dazai shrugs. “Until he decides he’s taught Atsushi enough. I’m not entirely sure what he’s
teaching Atsushi.”

Akutagawa shudders as he glances at the pair, not keen on finding out what it is that Chuuya wants
to teach Atsushi. He turns back to Dazai. “How is he with Rashomon? Any damaged furniture at
your place?”

Dazai shakes his head. “He was perfectly fine until you turned up last night with the food. And she
was quiet from after dinner right up until she tried to slap me before you woke up.”

Akutagawa blinks. “Rashomon . . . tried to slap you?”

“Yes. Well, it looked like it.”

Akutagawa snorts.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny. Only you could piss off a semi-sentient ability.”

“Whatever. Listen, I have a working theory that Rashomon recognises you as her owner, and that’s
why she tends to act up more in your presence.”

Akutagawa hums because he knows that’s not true, but he doesn’t want to tell Dazai that
Rashomon only acts up when her host loses their composure. Being overly enraged, incredibly
terrified, or even highly flustered — any of those could trigger Rashomon into manifesting, like
some sort of shield to her host. He’s not sure which one Atsushi is yet, but he’s leaning towards
rage.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s a plausible theory.”

Dazai hums, clearly not believing Akutagawa, but he doesn’t say anything.

“So, would you happen to know why that moron keeps going after people close to me?”

Dazai frowns. “What?”

“Well, first you replaced me with him and now Chuuya is talking about him being some kind of
student. He’s infesting my life.”

Dazai shrugs. “Look, I brought him here to annoy Chuuya. I was hoping Rashomon would slash
that ugly painting in the genkan and piss him off. And anyway, he’s not stealing anyone from you.
I left the mafia. Chibi’s probably just excited to have an impressionable little student he can turn
into an annoyance just like him. You’re all grown up and set in your ways. You can’t be swayed,
y’know? You’re stronger than Atsushi like that.”

Akutagawa zeroes in on Dazai’s final sentence alone. “I’m . . . stronger than him?”
“Yes. I mean, you’ve been working with your ability much longer than he has. And Chuuya taught
you how to fight. If Atsushi didn’t have his tiger all this time, he’d honestly be dead at your hands.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, why’s your tail standing up like that?”

Akutagawa grabs the tail like it’s offended him. “I don’t know.”

Dazai thinks Akutagawa is stronger than Atsushi. It’s not the acknowledgment he wanted, this one
is tainted with Atsushi’s name, but Akutagawa will take it anyway.

“Ugh. I can’t believe I’m stuck here. I wish I’d never let chibi meet Atsushi.”

“Dazai’s staying too?” Akutagawa asks. Hm, maybe he can put up with Atsushi if he gets to spend
more time around Dazai. “That’s nice. Do you want some coffee? I haven’t had breakfast yet.”

“Uh, sure.”

Akutagawa tries to hide his delight at the idea of Dazai sticking around, but something tells him
that at least one of his tiger features would give him away to Atsushi immediately.

Dazai stares at the mug on the floor, in pieces.

“Ryuu,” Chuuya says slowly, “what’d you do that for?”

Akutagawa turns to Atsushi. “I don’t know.”

Dazai looks at Atsushi too, who’s struggling to hide his smile, but his eyes are shining with
amusement. “Is this a cat thing?”

“It’s a cat thing,” Atsushi confirms with a nod. He takes a deep breath and rearranges his features
into a neutral expression. “It’ll take time to get over those odd urges.”

“How long did it take you?” Akutagawa asks.

“Uh, two days, but only because I happened to push Yosano’s cellphone off the table and she
warned me that if I ever did it again, she’d use her ability on me and Yosano scares the shit out of
me so I put that in check as soon as possible.”

Dazai blinks at Atsushi, still unable to equate this carefree, loose-lipped kid who seems so
comfortable to the high-strung, overly compliant detective whom Dazai works with. It’s like
Atsushi has two distinctly different people in him. For a moment, Dazai wonders if Rashomon is
affecting Atsushi, but Akutagawa’s bored and unimpressed reactions to Atsushi are proof that he
was like this long before this predicament.

Is it perhaps Akutagawa? Does he do something that makes Atsushi feel so comfortable? Or is it

just because he’s Akutagawa?

Dazai wants to ask Atsushi, but he’s pretty sure that if he asks when they’re alone, Atsushi will
stammer and flush and deny any knowledge of what Dazai’s talking about. Asking him in front of
Akutagawa would probably be no less uninformative, likely because Atsushi will turn around and
make a joke that’s most certainly intended to agitate Akutagawa.

Still, Dazai wants to know.

But that can wait. Because Akutagawa is acting slightly odd. Both the tiger’s ears and tail are still
out, but his ears alternate between flat against his head and half-upright, and his tail doesn’t really
move. Dazai knows enough about cats to know that Akutagawa’s probably not in such a great
mood.

Atsushi stands suddenly. “Thank you for breakfast, Chuuya!”

Dazai notes that when Atsushi is this easygoing person, he doesn’t hesitate to call Chuuya by his
given name, as requested. When he’s the other Atsushi, the cautious one, he slips up now and
then.

Chuuya moves to stand too but Atsushi waves him down quickly. “Sit, sit! We kind of ambushed
you so early in the morning. I’ll do it.”

“You don’t even know how to use the dishwasher,” Akutagawa mutters, almost like an invitation
to bicker.

Dazai notes that his tail is up now, curving around slightly. He wonders what that means. Atsushi
probably knows.

“True,” Atsushi says as he gathers the plates. “But you have other things you need to do than to
show me how to use a dishwasher.”

Akutagawa tilts his head and Atsushi nods at the broken mug on the floor. “Ugh. Fine.”

And to Dazai’s great surprise, Akutagawa gets up without another word and disappears,
presumably to fetch Chuuya’s broom.

When Atsushi heads into the kitchen, Dazai leans towards Chuuya. “Is he always like this?”

Chuuya shrugs. “I can’t tell properly. Like, yes, he always cleans up his messes, but he usually does
it immediately and without having to be told to. And he’s a little more reserved whenever I see
him. I think he likes bickering with Atsushi.”

“Say, what are you teaching Atsushi, exactly?”

Chuuya scoffs. “As if I’d ever tell you.”

By the time Akutagawa picks up the pieces of the mug and disposes of them, Atsushi has cleared
the table. Dazai isn’t surprised to see Akutagawa wander into the kitchen. He and Chuuya both
watch as Akutagawa says something to Atsushi and the latter nods before removing his hands from
the sink and stepping to the side. Nothing else happens save for the two of them apparently
washing the dishes together despite Chuuya having a really good dishwasher under the counter.

“Chibi, I’m bored. Watch a movie with me.”

Chuuya huffs again. “Why?”

“Because I’m bored,” Dazai states plainly, “and you have . . . not horrible taste.”

“Wow.” Chuuya stands up. “I hope you know that I’m only tolerating you because Atsushi needs
you.”

“Whatever chibi says,” Dazai says with a grin, following Chuuya to the couch.
“What are you peeping at?”

Atsushi looks away from Dazai and Chuuya to roll his eyes at Akutagawa. “Must you always be so
vexing?”

Akutagawa opens his mouth to fire back, but Atsushi asks another question.

“Can you hear them over the sound of the TV?”

Akutagawa glares, but Atsushi sees his ears twitching and turning to try to listen.

“No, why?”

“Good, c’mere.” Atsushi pulls his hands out of the sink and wipes the soapy water off with the
dishcloth. “You look like you’re going to start clawing at the furniture for entertainment.”

And before Akutagawa can even make sense of Atsushi’s words, Atsushi reaches up with both
hands and lightly scratches behind Akutagawa’s cat ears. He relaxes immediately.

“There we go, isn’t that better?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Akutagawa grumbles, closing his eyes.

Atsushi bites back a chuckle when Akutagawa sways on his feet before slumping forward. Atsushi
stumbles half a step before he steadies himself, getting used to the weight of Akutagawa against
him.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll gouge your eyes out,” Akutagawa threatens.

“As if I would ever admit to helping you out like this. I’m not a complete idiot.”

Atsushi glances into the living room to find both Dazai and Chuuya staring at them. Dazai looks
like he's about to start cackling. Chuuya whips out his phone and fumbles with it for a second
before he gets it upright.

Atsushi gives Chuuya a bright, wide and toothy grin, throwing up a peace sign with one of his
hands.

Akutagawa makes some kind of odd noise between a hiss and a growl.

“Sorry, sorry,” Atsushi murmurs, returning his hand to Akutagawa’s head.

He glances over again to see that Chuuya is staring at his phone like it’s giving him the secret to
life itself, and Dazai looks positively delighted. Atsushi lifts a finger to his lips for a quick second
before Akutagawa can complain. Dazai nods.

It takes a total of seven minutes for Akutagawa’s tiger features to disappear, but Atsushi doesn’t
say so. He continues standing in the kitchen, playing with Akutagawa’s hair and pretending like he
hasn’t noticed. (Chuuya and his camera have noticed.)

The look Akutagawa gives him is borderline murderous. “I despise you.”

“Sure you do, kitten.”

“Fuck! off!”
Atsushi watches Akutagawa stalk out of the kitchen with his tail back and straight up in the air, the
tip of it swishing and flicking. He wonders if Akutagawa knows that he’s not so good at hiding
things with his extra features.

“What did you do to him?” Dazai asks curiously after they hear a door slam shut.

“Called him a kitten.”

Chuuya snorts. Then he kicks Dazai lightly. “I can’t believe you let me meet everyone in your
stupid agency but Atsushi. Shame on you. He’s awesome.”

Atsushi feels his cheeks heat up. “Ah, th-thank you!”

 Chapter 3

Now, not to get all flowery, but Akutagawa knows perfectly well that Rashomon is a little hard to
contain if you’re not fully composed. Gin likes to say that Rashomon lashes out if her host is not in
control of their heart. Akutagawa thinks that’s a bullshit way of explaining it, but it does kind of
make sense.

See, the main reason Akutagawa is thinking about what makes Rashomon tick is because he’s
mulling over Dazai’s words. According to Dazai, Atsushi has minimal problems keeping
Rashomon in check — until the two of them came to the apartment. In the day and a half that
they’ve been here, Akutagawa has personally seen Dazai nullify Rashomon at least fifteen times
and heard Chuuya yelling about it another eight.

In fact, Atsushi has better control over Rashomon even if Akutagawa simply isn’t in the room.

Akutagawa wonders just how much Chuuya must like Atsushi for him to not throw Atsushi out of
his apartment for today.

“I can’t reach the cookies,” Atsushi whines, staring at the top shelf of the cabinet he’s opened.

“This is a good time to practice using Rashomon,” Akutagawa calls from the couch, where he’s
been given chocolate and Chuuya’s Switch to distract him from the fact that he hasn’t been outside
once in almost two days.

Atsushi scoffs. “Yeah, right. I’m not doing that in an enclosed space. She might take out someone’s
eye or something.”

Akutagawa looks up when Dazai doesn’t jump off the couch. Did Atsushi not just offend
Rashomon? Evidently not, if the lack of Rashomon is anything to go by.

“I’m just gonna climb the counter,” Atsushi says.

“Not with that bruise, you’re not,” Akutagawa calls.

“Fine, then you come here and get it for me, asshole.”

“Nope. I’m comfy.”

Chuuya sighs as he gets him. “I’m coming, Atsushi. Which one do you want?”

Atsushi points and in the time it takes Akutagawa to look up from his game, Rashomon slices right
through the cabinet, raining snacks and wood down all over the counter, Atsushi, and Chuuya.

Dazai taps Atsushi’s shoulder before anything else is demolished.

Okay, fine, Akutagawa can admit that Atsushi with Rashomon is a little endearing. It’s like a
toddler has been given a knife and told to throw it at an apple. Horrible aim, but cute effort.

Chuuya sighs loudly. “Yeah, I feel like I should’ve foreseen this one.”

“Sorry,” Atsushi says meekly.

“It’s fine. It — I’m not mad.” Chuuya reaches for one of the boxes on the counter. He gives it a
shake to get the chipboard shards off and holds it out to Atsushi. “Is this the one you wanted?”
Atsushi nods. “Thank you.”

Chuuya nods too. “Go sit down. Dazai and I’ll clean this up.”

“But —”

“Atsushi. It’s fine. Besides, you’re not used to still going when you’re hurt, right?”

“Yeah, but —”

Chuuya nudges him towards the living room. “Go eat your cookies.”

“Okay.”

Akutagawa watches Atsushi sit down quietly on the couch, holding the box of cookies. With a
sigh, he sets the game down and leans for the box, opening it up for Atsushi and handing him one.

“Thanks.”

“Just eat the damn cookie.”

Atsushi nods. “Okay.”

Akutagawa sighs and after a moment of debating whether he values his reputation or Atsushi’s
mood more, he grabs Chuuya’s Switch and lays down again, this time with his head in Atsushi’s
lap.

“Hi?” Atsushi says, frowning and smiling somewhat.

“Shut up,” Akutagawa snaps. “My back hurts from leaning on the armrest.”

“Oh? All right, then.”

Akutagawa thinks he might regret trying to cheer Atsushi up when Atsushi, while watching
Akutagawa play, absently settles his free hand on Akutagawa’s head, his nails lightly scratching
against Akutagawa’s scalp. Akutagawa hadn’t realised the goddamn cat ears were out until Atsushi
put his hand on Akutagawa’s head.

He hates this fucking ability so much.

God, if he starts purring in front of Dazai, he will simply kill himself.

Atsushi’s in a bit of a bad mood. He’s aware that no one in the apartment knows why and that it’s
not any of their faults, but he’s still in a bad mood. And he can’t tell anyone why, because he does
not want to give Dazai any kind of victories and also he will take this secret to the grave if he has
to.

The reason for Atsushi’s bad mood is pretty simple. It’s been two weeks of this — Atsushi and
Akutagawa confined to Chuuya’s apartment while Chuuya and Dazai periodically check in with the
Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency respectively about any headway in finding the
organisation’s unknown ability user that caused this whole thing in the first place — and not once
has Akutagawa purred.

It’s infuriating. Atsushi thought they were over their intense hatred and had settled into a healthy
rivalry. Apparently, if the lack of purring was anything to go by, Atsushi is the only one who
thinks so.

Atsushi is willing to bet everything that Akutagawa doesn’t know why the tiger purrs, so there’s
absolutely no reason for him to be actively suppressing it. And there’s no need to be shy. Atsushi
can’t even count the number of times he’s ended up purring in front of Akutagawa. Granted, it was
mostly after a rough assignment from the ever-meddling Dazai, and Atsushi had yet to recover
from his injuries. Most of the time he was delirious from pain and blood loss, yes, but he knows
that Akutagawa knows that he remembers those instances. So, as far as Akutagawa should know,
the purring simply comes with the ability.

“I’m bored,” Akutagawa announces.

Atsushi, who’s laying on the couch and contemplating why this puts him in such a bad mood, looks
up to find Akutagawa standing in front of the couch like a kid on their way to tell their mom they
had a nightmare.

“And? What do you want me to do about it?”

Akutagawa wrinkles his nose. “That’s not what you usually say.”

“I’m not exactly in the greatest of moods right now, Akutagawa. If you want me to bicker with
you, I’ll only end up saying something I don’t mean.”

Akutagawa shudders, like something cold crawled over him. “Watch a movie with me, then.”

“I don’t want to watch a movie, Akutagawa.”

Akutagawa shudders again and Atsushi notices that it’s only when Atsushi says his name. Has
Akutagawa gotten too used to the nicknames Atsushi’s been using these last two weeks?

Interesting.

With a sigh, Atsushi sits up properly and gestures to the couch. “What do you want to watch?”

Akutagawa snatches the remote off the table and plops down on the couch with a level of delight
that Atsushi doesn’t see often. “I wanna watch something fantasy.”

“Like . . . knights or like . . . eldritch horrors?

Atsushi watches Akutagawa scroll through the titles, wondering if he should settle down for a
fantasy action or a fantasy horror. He’s not great with horror.

Atsushi doesn’t pay much attention to the movie Akutagawa chooses because halfway through,
Akutagawa leans against his shoulder. Ten minutes more has him shuffling on the couch to lay his
head in Atsushi’s lap.

He makes an absurd amount of comments throughout the entire time, but it’s not as annoying as
Atsushi expected talking during a movie would be.

And by the end of the movie, Atsushi’s bad mood has been lifted. Because Akutagawa is fast
asleep. He may not have purred once in all the time he’s had the tiger ability, but he’s sleeping out
in the open of Chuuya’s apartment, with Atsushi. He does feel safe after all.

Dazai takes a deep breath, ready to shout a cheery greeting to Atsushi and Akutagawa, but pauses
at the sight of Rashomon in front of him. She’s a pretty navy blue today, to match the jersey
Atsushi stole from Akutagawa on day six and refused to return to date. Dazai reaches out to nullify
Rashomon before whatever damage she plans to do occurs, but she shrinks back and forms a little
face with her scary teeth and a hand that she brings up to her mouth. The message is clear.

Be quiet.

Chuuya snickers. “You just got told off by an ability.”

Dazai lifts his finger to his lips. “Hush, chibi.”

Rashomon retracts fully and the two of them follow her to the living room to find Atsushi sitting on
the couch. He’s busy with his phone while something neither of them recognise plays on the TV.
It’s only when they get closer that they see Akutagawa, laying on the couch, his head on Atsushi’s
leg and Atsushi’s arm over his shoulders. He’s fast asleep.

Chuuya stops Dazai from saying anything until after he gets a photo that he sees him send to Gin
immediately, but the moment Dazai opens his mouth Atsushi sets his phone on the armrest and
turns his head. He holds his finger to his lips and then gives Dazai and Chuuya a wave.

Perplexed, Dazai remains quiet. Chuuya waves back before dragging Dazai away. Chuuya shoves
Dazai into his room and closes the door slowly.

“What was that all about?” Dazai asks — quietly.

“Ryuu’s a light sleeper. Atsushi probably doesn’t want us to wake him up.”

“Since when have the two of them been that close?”

“Dazai, you keep setting them up as a team on overnight assignments. Did you think they were
setting up two tents fifty meters apart? They might have some kind of feud going on, but they’re
smart enough to know that they need to watch each other’s backs. They’ve had plenty of time to get
comfortable enough around one another to sleep without caution.”

“Yeah, but no one cuddles on assignments.”

Chuuya raises his eyebrows. “They do when you send them into fucking mountain peaks that are
snowed over.”

Dazai’s phone buzzes and he pulls it out to find a text from Atsushi. “He says they’ll sleep in the
living room tonight.”

“Great.” Chuuya opens his door and gestures across the hallway. “You can have the spare room for
tonight, then. Don’t touch Ryuu’s things.”

“Aw, chibi’s kicking me out?”

Chuuya doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”

Dazai clutches at his shirt. “Chuuya’s so cruel to me,” he whines softly, because the door is open
now.

For a moment, he thinks Chuuya will engage in a moment of banter. Then Chuuya kicks him out.
Literally.

Dazai glares at the closed door before huffing and marching into the spare room. He tries to get
some sleep, he really does, but he can’t stop thinking about the way Atsushi had shushed him — or
the way Rashomon did.

For the ability to do that, Atsushi must have a great deal of control over Rashomon. So, if he can
use her to convey a message to Dazai, why is it that every other time Rashomon makes an
appearance, she is haphazard and destructive and uncontrolled?

Unless . . . Akutagawa’s sleep takes precedence over everything else, to the point where Atsushi
finds the control over the ability.

Dazai wonders if Atsushi will be able to do it again in the morning.

“You make me sick!”

Chuuya grumbles and laments the peace he used to wake up to when he didn’t have three
flatmates. Akutagawa usually isn’t a bother, but then again, usually Atsushi isn’t there to
antagonise him first thing in the morning.

Chuuya assumes that Atsushi says something before Akutagawa shouts again.

“Stop calling me that!”

Chuuya sighs and gets out of bed. There’s no going back to sleep now. Once he opens his door and
starts his trek to the bathroom, Atsushi’s voice grows audible.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it, kitten.”

“I despise you,” Akutagawa snaps.

“Oh? So you were hate-cuddling me last night?”

“Shut up! That never happened!”

“My dead arm says otherwise, you cute little spoon.”

Chuuya snorts. He’s never imagined Akutagawa to be the little spoon, but he’s not really
surprised.

Dazai joins him in the bathroom. “I want to go home,” he whines, reaching for his toothbrush.
“This is torture.”

“This is entertainment,” Chuuya corrects as he drops his own toothbrush back in the cup. “I’ve
never heard Ryuu sound this childish in all the years I’ve known him. It’s healthy.”

Dazai sighs, muttering about going home as Chuuya leaves the bathroom. He’s not sure what sight
he expected to greet him, but it certainly wasn’t Atsushi cornering Akutagawa against the kitchen
counters.

“Remind me again when it was you claimed to have slept the best you’d ever had in your entire
life,” Atsushi says. He leans forward and Chuuya notes that Akutagawa doesn’t exactly lean away.
“Wasn’t it during that extraction Dazai sent us on in the winter? On the third night, I believe.”

“Oh, now you want to have good memory?”

Atsushi grins. It’s a downright wicked grin. Too wicked for the boy who’s supposed to be the
agency’s angel. “Only to make you so flustered. You’re cute when you’re not on top of things.”
“You,” Akutagawa says firmly, “are a horrible person.”

Atsushi tilts his head, still grinning. “Only for you, kitten.”

“I’m going to throw you into the wall.”

Atsushi hums. “I’d prefer a more comfortable surface, honestly. Do you even think you could hold
me up against a wall?”

Chuuya watches Akutagawa struggle not to blow up. He thinks Akutagawa might start steaming
from his ears.

“You have a death wish, Atsushi.”

“Aw, I was looking forward to it!”

Akutagawa scoffs. “I’ll believe that when it’s a plausible thing. Fucking prude.”

“If anyone’s a prude here, it’s you. I’m the one making all the jokes. See, this is why no one in the
mafia wants to tie you down.”

“Oh, and I’m supposed to believe you do?”

Atsushi leans forward, hands on the counter and caging Akutagawa in. “You sound like you want
me to. Is this your idea of flirting, jinko?”

“You wouldn’t know flirting if it slapped you in the face with a label,” Akutagawa snaps, but his
voice is ever so slightly unstable.

“I could flirt with you. But then you’d combust.”

“Go away.”

“No.”

Chuuya isn’t sure he actually has anything left that he could teach Atsushi. The boy is
frighteningly natural.

“I’d kiss you if you weren’t so insufferable, you know.”

Akutagawa scoffs. “You don’t even know how to kiss someone.”

“I’m sure you could teach me. I’m a fast learner.”

“Ha! As if.”

“Pity. I wonder if Chuuya would be willing to teach me. . .”

Akutagawa’s eyes flash with a fury that Chuuya recognises from a time when Dazai would glare at
anyone who wanted to work with Chuuya. Raging jealousy is what Chuuya would call it.
Unfortunately, Akutagawa’s reaction doesn’t cover up Chuuya’s startled yelp.

Atsushi looks at him and smiles. “Good morning, Chuuya!”

Akutagawa shoves Atsushi back with surprising force. “Get off me!”

Atsushi sighs. “If that’s really what you want, kitten.”

Akutagawa storms down the hallway and Chuuya can hear him kick Dazai out of the bathroom
before slamming the door shut.

“You have got to stop doing that to him,” Chuuya tells Atsushi.

“But it’s so much fun!”

“The poor boy is going to go insane.”

Atsushi smiles his innocent little smile. “I know his limits, don’t worry. He’s just embarrassed that
he got caught.”

“If you say so.”

 Chapter 4

Chuuya deemed it okay for Atsushi and Akutagawa to get out of the apartment but only if Dazai
accompanied them. Of course, it makes sense. Akutagawa with Atsushi’s ability is fairly harmless,
but Atsushi with Akutagawa’s ability could accidentally cause a murder if Dazai isn’t there to
nullify Rashomon. Still, neither of them are happy about being followed by Dazai every time they
want a bit of fresh air.

Not that Dazai seems very happy about it either.

“Why do I have to third wheel your date?” Dazai whines.

Akutagawa rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. Engaging with Dazai only gives him a
headache.

Atsushi, on the other hand, gasps loudly. “You could’ve told me this was a date, kitten. I’d have
held your hand.”

“Touch me and I will skin you alive.”

Atsushi grins. “Come on, that was barely a bad one. I even kept it PG.”

Behind them, Dazai shudders.

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped all together,” Akutagawa lies blatantly.

Atsushi leans towards him, all light footsteps and cheery smiles. “You’re a stinking liar, kitten.”

Akutagawa counts himself lucky that his hair hides his burning ears and no tiger features pop up to
tell Atsushi secret things.

“I want ice cream,” Atsushi announces when he spots an ice cream stand further down the
sidewalk. “Ryuu, buy me ice cream. Since this is a date and all.”

Akutagawa glares at him. “Why do I have to buy you ice cream? Why can’t you buy me ice
cream?”

Atsushi smiles innocently. “I’m borderline broke, kitten. You’re stinking rich. That means you
should shower me in gifts and I should treat you like the little princess you are.”

“If anyone’s a fucking princess, it’s you. Demanding little bitch.”

Atsushi beams. “You wanna call me princess so bad.”

Dazai gags.

“Hm,” Akutagawa says, “you don’t have a crown, though.”

Atsushi laughs, as he always does when Akutagawa goes with his nonsense. He doesn’t do it often,
but the way Atsushi laughs makes the few times he does very worth it.

Akutagawa ends up buying ice cream for Atsushi after all. He gets one for Dazai too, if only to
keep him from whining about having to babysit.
“Thank you,” Atsushi tells him earnestly, no sign of his mischievous teasing around.

“Y-you’re welcome,” Akutagawa says, pretending to cough so he can cover his pink face with his
hand. Something tells him that Atsushi can see right through it, but mercifully doesn’t call
Akutagawa out on it.

“Can we go back now?” Dazai asks. “We’ve been walking around for half an hour.”

“Fine,” Atsushi says. “C’mon, Ryuu.”

Akutagawa adores the way Atsushi says his name. He hopes Atsushi never goes back to calling
him Akutagawa. Hell, he’d even be willing to let Atsushi keep calling him that stupid petname —
kitten — if it keeps them from going back to the slightly less close Akutagawa.

Akutagawa thinks he ought to come up with a replacement for jinko while they’re like this.
Everyone calls Atsushi by his given name. Akutagawa thinks he deserves to have a name for
Atsushi that no one else uses. The problem is that Rashomon isn’t a convenient ability to pull out a
nickname from. He would actually like to see the look on Atsushi’s face if he called Atsushi a rash.
He thinks it would be funny.

Oh. Akutagawa has the perfect idea. It’s something evil enough to rival Atsushi’s stupid kitten. He
hopes it’ll throw Atsushi’s balance off completely when he uses it for the first time.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Atsushi asks.

“Nothing,” Akutagawa lies, wiping the smile off his face.

“Mm, well, I’m thinking about dinner. Do you think Chuuya would appreciate it if I started
cooking once in a while too? To help out.”

“I don’t think he’d stop you,” Akutagawa offers.

“Hm. I’ll ask him later.”

And then, their walk home derails horribly. All because Akutagawa sneezes.

Atsushi blinks in surprise, startled by the fact that Akutagawa sneezes like — well, like a kitten.
It’s soft and small and so fucking cute. It doesn’t help that for some reason, the sneeze triggers
both his tiger ears and his tail. Oh no, Atsushi thinks, he’s really cute.

“Atsushi!”

Atsushi accidentally gets slapped in the face by Dazai, but none of them have time to think about
that when all three of them watch a lamppost land in the street, cut down at the base by Rashomon.
Thankfully, it doesn’t land on anyone, but it does garner a bit of attention.

“Oops,” Atsushi mutters.

Dazai sighs. “This is going to be so much paperwork and Kunikida won’t even let anyone else do
it.”

“I mean,” Akutagawa says thoughtfully, “this is all your fault, at the root.”

Dazai glares at him.

“I’m just saying.”

Dazai continues to glare at him as he pulls out his phone and calls Kunikida.

Roughly two minutes later, Kunikida, Yosano and Ranpo are there to do damage control so Dazai
can escort Atsushi and Akutagawa back to Chuuya’s apartment.

Chuuya snickers. “Nice one, kid.”

“No,” Atsushi whines, burying his face in his hands. “You didn’t see how everyone was looking at
me! It was mortifying!”

“Mortifying?” Dazai asks. “Atsushi, you took out an entire lamppost.”

“Yeah, but now people think I’m a klutz who doesn’t have any control over his ability!”

“There, there,” Akutagawa says, patting Atsushi’s head lightly.

Chuuya snickers again.

As he watches the scene before him, Dazai thinks about Atsushi’s words. It really does seem like
he has no control over Rashomon, but Atsushi is still a member of the Armed Detective Agency.
Regardless of the ability he has, he’s still supposed to be under Fukuzawa’s ability, which means
that he should have decent enough control over Rashomon to not damage public property or
Chuuya’s apartment.

Dazai runs through a mental list of every time Rashomon has lashed out and by the end of it, there
is only one common factor to every instance: Akutagawa.

Either Akutagawa is physically there, or someone brought him up.

Dazai tries to recall everything he learned about Rashomon back when he first began to train
Akutagawa. Had he ever said anything about why Rashomon would act out on her own?

No, but Gin had.

Rashomon acts up when Ryuu’s not in control of his heart.

Dazai had dismissed it. To be fair, it still sounds like some fairytale bullshit a child might make up
to feel a little less scared, but the longer Dazai thinks about it, the more sense it makes.

There’s only one reason why Atsushi keeps losing control of Rashomon: the idiot has a massive
crush on the other idiot and doesn’t know how to deal with it.

“You look deranged,” Chuuya says, snapping Dazai back to the living room. “Something on your
mind?”

Dazai glances at the couch Akutagawa and Atsushi were occupying. “Where’d they go?”

“Kitchen. Atsushi said he wants to make dinner tonight as some kind of thanks and apology but he
doesn’t know where anything is and told me that I’m supposed to just rest and wait, so Ryuu’s his
personal map of the kitchen.”

“Ah.”

“So, what’s on your mind?”

Dazai joins Chuuya on the couch. “I have a theory about Rashomon.”

Over in the kitchen, Akutagawa steers Atsushi away from the cabinet he wants to get to.

“Ryuu,” Atsushi whines, “I need salt.”

“You’ll get the salt from here,” Akutagawa says, turning Atsushi around to face the cabinet. “Go
on.”

“I can’t. What if she takes out Chuuya’s entire spice rack?”

“She won’t if you’re careful.”

“Okay, who’s the one currently hosting Rashomon, me or you? That’s right, me.”

“Okay, and who’s the one who hosted her for twenty years? What was that? Yes, me.”

Atsushi turns halfway to glare at Akutagawa. “Why do you hate me?”

“Your pants are weird, your haircut is lopsided and you’ve been kind of an asshole to me lately,”
Akutagawa says with zero hesitation before putting his hands on Atsushi’s shoulders and turning
him to face the salt across the kitchen again. “You can do it,” he says and there’s a pause where
Atsushi expects to hear an ‘asshole’ or a ‘moron’ or even just an ‘Atsushi’. But none of those come
forth. “I know you can, princess.”

Well, shit.

“Okay,” Atsushi says, because focusing on controlling Rashomon is easier than reacting to
whatever the hell that was. “I can do this.”

Akutagawa praises Atsushi when Rashomon retrieves the salt. She moves slowly and haltingly,
with the motions of a child learning to walk, but she does as Atsushi wishes.

And oh, Atsushi knew he liked to be praised for his accomplishments but he didn’t know he could
like it this much.

Also, fuck Akutagawa for actually calling him princess. He didn’t think Akutagawa would take the
bait.

Cooking goes much easier after that and Atsushi gains significantly more control over Rashomon,
thanks to Akutagawa refusing to let Atsushi walk away from the stove to fetch things. Atsushi
thinks he should probably teach Akutagawa about the tiger a little bit, but he’s not so interested in
losing the little tells that betray Akutagawa’s semi-harsh words.

He’s nearly done with dinner when something fluffy snakes around his waist. He glances down
and is both greatly surprised and not at all surprised to find that it’s Akutagawa’s tail. Akutagawa
seems unaware of it, so Atsushi knows it’s the tiger’s doing.

The tiger, who is an embodiment of his host’s soul. Who sometimes acts like a bitch and knocks
things off counters but sometimes reaches out for what his host wants but won’t take.

Atsushi doesn’t say anything and ducks his head, hoping Akutagawa doesn’t notice.

And Akutagawa doesn’t, but Dazai, Chuuya, and Chuuya’s phone camera certainly do.
“Hi, guys!” Atsushi chirps when he follows Dazai into the agency office. “Did you miss me?”

“Wow,” Kyoka says, “you’re chipper today.”

“I’m in a fantastic mood!”

“Is it because you dropped a ton of flour on Akutagawa’s head?” Kenji asks.

“How do you know about that?”

“Chuuya’s been keeping us updated via Kyoka,” Yosano says. “We heard you also took up
baking.”

“You’re not very good at it,” Kyoka says flatly.

Atsushi huffs lightly. “That hurts my feelings, Kyoka. I tried very hard with those muffins.”

“I’m sure they tasted very nice,” Tanizaki offers.

“Thank you, Tanizaki. You flatter me.”

Dazai sighs when everyone slowly turns to him with questioning looks. He shakes his head,
defeated. “He’s just like this, apparently. I don’t know, either.”

Yosano shoots Atsushi a gleeful smile. “I’m loving this new confidence, Atsushi.”

“Thanks! Chuuya’s teaching me to be more outgoing.”

“Really?” Dazai says disbelievingly.

Atsushi shrugs. “Well, it’s a by-product of my lessons.”

Yosano hops out of her desk and bounds up to Atsushi while Dazai takes his seat in front of
Kunikida to get the information he came for. “Chuuya’s teaching you, you say?”

“Mhm!”

“Has he taught you how to use eyeliner yet?” Kyoka asks. “He tried to teach some of us, but
Higuchi kept messing up, Akutagawa flat out refused and I got bored. Gin and Tachihara got good
at it, though.”

“Eyeliner?” Yosano asks. “Does he know how to do those fancy ones? Do you think he’d be
willing to teach me? I can’t get spiderwebs or butterflies right.”

“I can ask,” Atsushi says.

Kyoka looks up from her phone. “He says you can go over on Saturday. He’ll send someone here
to get you.”

Yosano beams. “Thanks for screwing up your mission, Atsushi!”

Atsushi giggles as Yosano ruffles his hair. “You’re welcome!”

“How are you handling Rashomon?” Kenji asks. “Kyoka showed us a photo of you while
Rashomon was trying to break the ceiling, so we were wondering how that was going.”

“Oh, that reminds me! I wanted to show you guys.”

All of them, even Kunikida and Dazai, watch the pale purple mass extend from Atsushi’s jersey
and form something of a blob with holes for eyes beside him. He sets his hand on top of the little
thing and grins. “This is Rashomon!”

“She’s pretty when she’s in lighter colours,” Kyoka says.

“Yeah, well, Ryuu needs her to intimidate people, so the black’s probably best for that. I'm on
house arrest, so I can wear whatever I want.”

“You seem to have good control,” Kunikida says. “She seems surprisingly docile.”

Rashomon charges for Kunikida, but doesn’t get very far before she melts back into Atsushi’s
jersey.

“Atsushi trained her like a puppy,” Dazai says. “I was unaware that was a thing you could do with
Rashomon.”

“So,” Ranpo finally pipes up, “What’s the deal with you and Nobrows anyway? Are you guys
actually friends?”

“Not for much longer if I can help it,” Atsushi says with a grin and a wink.

“Kill me,” Dazai tells Kunikida. “I’m serious. I don’t even care if it hurts at this point. I cannot live
with him anymore. Do you know how close I am to pulling my hair out? I’ve almost cried seven
times in the last four days.”

“Yikes,” Tanizaki says. “Come on, it’s Atsushi. How bad can it be?”

“Given Chuuya in general,” Kyoka says, “and then given what Chuuya tends to be like around
Dazai, I think it’s safe to say that Dazai’s unlocked a new form of trauma these last two months.”

“It’s hell,” Dazai states. “Pure hell. I didn’t know Atsushi could be so . . . so. . .”

“Smooth?” Atsushi offers. “Charming? Pretty? Talented? Attractive?”

“Unhinged!”

“Woah,” Kunikida says, staring at Atsushi. “Aren’t you, like, twelve?”

“Wh- I’m halfway to nineteen! I told you how old I was when we met, remember?”

Kunikida shrugs. “You just kinda behaved like you were twelve. I got used to it. This is . . .
different.”

Atsushi grins. “Is it a good different?”

“Stop that!” Dazai cries, covering Kunikida’s face with a folder. “Stop flirting with everyone! Flirt
with people your own age!”

Atsushi pouts for a second, and then to the amusement of most of the office, he turns around, leans
on Kyoka’s desk and practically sings, “Tanizaki! You look so pre- oof!”

“Stop it!” Dazai yells, pleased that the book he’d thrown managed to hit the back of Atsushi’s
head.

“You all right, there, Tanizaki?” Yosano asks, trying to hide her smile.
“I’m fine,” Tanizaki squeaks. No one can tell if he’s red in the face from embarrassment at being
singled out or if he’s just flushing from being flirted with. It makes it all the more amusing.

Atsushi rubs the back of his head and scowls at Dazai. “You’re no fun.”

“I really like this new you,” Yosano says.

“Oh,” Ranpo says softly, and he almost goes unheard. He smiles at Atsushi. “I see.”

“See what?” Kenji asks.

Ranpo tilts his head slightly to one side. “It is what I think it is, isn’t it?”

Atsushi rubs the back of his head again and shrugs. “I think so.”

“Hm.”

“Nothing else to say?”

“Just be careful.”

“Be careful with what?” Kyoka asks.

“You did not just condone it,” Dazai tells Ranpo.

“Oh, but I did! I’m actively cheering for it!”

“Cheering for what?” Yosano asks.

“Shan’t tell!”

Dazai shudders. “I’m going to go drown myself in a river. For real, this time.”

Atsushi grabs Dazai’s collar as he walks by. “I’ll take care of him,” he tells everyone. “It was nice
to see everyone again!”

He leaves the office to howling laughter after he waves at everyone and just because Naomi isn’t
around, he blows a kiss at Tanizaki, who looks like he’s going to combust.

“You’re a menace, you know that?”

Atsushi grins. “It’s fun.”

Chuuya always keeps an eye on Akutagawa when he sleeps over. Mostly it’s just for his own peace
of mind. It’s kind of because he needs to return Akutagawa to Gin the way he arrived or Chuuya
will have his hands full of angry assassin.

So, Chuuya’s developed a habit wherein if Akutagawa enters a room or if Chuuya enters a room
that Akutagawa is in, his eyes automatically shift over to Akutagawa — just to check on him.

It’s for this reason that Chuuya is the first between himself and Dazai to notice a little detail about
Atsushi and Akutagawa.

They are always in each other’s faces.

They could be arguing, bickering, chatting, occasionally flirting — though that’s more Atsushi
taking it as a challenge to see how red he can make Akutagawa and Akutagawa doing his best to
act unaffected — or even just silently doing something, but they will be in each other’s personal
space as often as possible.

In fact, Chuuya doesn’t think they even have personal space when it comes to one another.

Atsushi cooks whenever he gets an idea and Akutagawa is there, peering into the pots and trying to
be a nuisance — it doesn’t work. Atsushi seems to enjoy his company in the kitchen.

Akutagawa likes to read on the couch, and if he’s reading on the couch, Atsushi can be found
watching TV from the same couch or reading a different book or even just taking a nap on the
same couch.

They like to sit across from each other so they can kick each other under the table. Chuuya thinks
it’s just a slightly more violent version of playing footsie. He does have to tell them to stop when,
one evening, Atsushi kicks Akutagawa so hard that his knee jerks into the table and nearly tips
over everyone’s glasses. Akutagawa slapped him with a wet dishcloth later and Chuuya pretended
not to see it.

So, given how perpetually together they are, it’s extremely rare for Chuuya to return to his
apartment to find Akutagawa sulking in his room — alone.

“Where’s the rest of you?” Chuuya asks.

Akutagawa grumbles something incomprehensible under his breath. Then, “They went to the
agency. I don’t know why Atsushi had to go, but whatever.”

“Probably because Dazai couldn’t leave him here unsupervised,” Chuuya says. “He’s been getting
better, but there’s always the risk that he’ll lose control. Anyway, did Dazai say why he went or is
it one of those plausible deniability things he’s always yapping on about?”

“Oh, it’s something to do with the swap. The glasses one said they might have a lead.”

Chuuya wonders if Akutagawa means Kunikida or Ranpo.

“The tall glasses one. The high-strung one.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah. So, this’ll all be over soon and I can get back to my apartment.”

Chuuya doesn’t like the bitter tinge to Akutagawa’s voice. He’s heard the boy angry, sad, elated,
confused and even hurt, but he’s never heard him sound so bitter before. And there’s no prize for
guessing why.

It also answers another question of Chuuya’s; if Akutagawa never has anything seriously bad to
say about Atsushi after they run one of Dazai’s little errands, why does he always return in such a
shitty mood?

It makes sense, now. As much as he complains about it, Akutagawa really likes Atsushi’s company
and has a vehement dislike for its absence.

Chuuya just barely hears Dazai call out a greeting before a streak of pale purple flies past him and
launches itself on the bed, flattening Akutagawa, who wheezes out a strained curse.
“Heavy!” Akutagawa complains.

“Is that my jersey?” Chuuya asks. “That’s my jersey.”

Atsushi apologises profusely to Akutagawa as he scrambles to one side. He shakes his head at
Chuuya. “No, I stole it from Ryuu.”

Akutagawa looks away from Chuuya. “I found it when I was sorting the laundry. It looked comfy.”

“Thief,” Chuuya accuses.

“You two fit into chibi’s jerseys?” Dazai asks, appearing behind Chuuya.

Chuuya elbows him. Hard. “It’s oversized, dimwit.”

Dazai’s eyes light up. “You have oversized jerseys? Why don’t you wear them?”

“Because you’re a weirdo! Get off of me!”

“Wow,” Atsushi says, “for two guys who’ve been in love since they were fifteen, you two sure
suck at physical affection.”

Somehow, the fact that it’s coming from Atsushi, who is about three seconds away from being
kicked in the face by whom Chuuya is certain is the love of his life, is highly insulting.

“Who the fuck told you that?” Chuuya demands.

“Ranpo! I paid him candy for information!”

Chuuya glares at Dazai. “What the fuck have you been telling your coworkers, you stupid brainless
beanpole?”

Dazai folds his arms and leans down over Chuuya. “Aw, is my little dog sad that I told everyone
the truth?”

“Oh, fuck you!”

Chuuya storms off. Dazai gives Atsushi and Akutagawa a wave before following, trying and
failing to get an apology in.

“You’re a menace,” Akutagawa says.

Atsushi turns around to grin at him. “I like chaos. It makes me feel buzzed.”

“I know. Why are you still in my room?”

“I’m bored!”

“What do you want me to do about that? Play with you like we’re fucking four-year-olds?”

Atsushi grins.

“Don’t say it, Atsushi. I’m warning you. I will sink my teeth into your fucking trachea if you do.”

Atsushi’s eyes widen and he looks away, eyebrows raised and a small smile tugging at his lips as
well.
Akutagawa rolls his eyes. “Could you get your head out of the gutter for one goddamn minute?”

“You make it too easy to make it dirty. I don’t even have to try. Sometimes you open your mouth
and fluster yourself without any help from me.”

“I hate you. So much.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s your tail wrapped around my wrist, then?”

“Give that back,” Akutagawa snaps, snatching his tail away.

Atsushi chuckles. “You’re cute, you know that?”

“Yesterday, you said I looked like a skinned chicken nugget,” Akutagawa states.

Atsushi shrugs. “A cute skinned chicken nugget.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m still bored, you know.”

“Then go take a nap. I don’t have to entertain you.”

“Good idea!”

And Akutagawa expects one of two things; for Atsushi to hop off the bed and bounce away to the
living room to take a nap, or for Atsushi to throw himself down on the bed and steal Akutagawa’s
pillow just to be an ass.

He does not expect Atsushi to throw himself at Akutagawa, dropping his head on Akutagawa’s
thigh and wrapping his arms around Akutagawa’s waist.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Taking a nap. You can keep doing whatever you were doing.”

Akutagawa sighs in defeat. Atsushi can be very stubborn when he wants to be. “Could you at least
let me get comfortable first?”

“No. If I get up, you’ll get off the bed and I’ll have to chase you down.”

Akutagawa grumbles under his breath and shuffles back so he can lean against the pillows,
dragging Atsushi with him. When he finally stops moving, Atsushi shifts until he’s comfortable
and sighs contentedly.

Atsushi doesn’t have the tiger ability and won’t start purring like Akutagawa is used to, but he still
sets his hand on Atsushi’s head and scratches lightly.

Atsushi hums softly. “This is nice,” he murmurs.

Hm. Maybe next time Akutagawa gets a head scratch from Atsushi, he’ll let himself purr — but
only if Dazai is in a different room.
 Chapter 5

Dazai wakes up on what he expects to be a calm Saturday to the sound of infectious giggling.

Atsushi.

Dazai sighs and drags himself off the couch and to Chuuya’s room, where he’s met with the sight
of Chuuya looking agonised while Yosano holds an eyeliner pen and Atsushi bats his eyelashes,
showing off the horridly drawn spiders around his eyes. Akutagawa watches from Chuuya’s bed,
where he’s no longer pretending to read the book in his hand.

“What’s happening here?” Dazai asks.

“Your stupid coworker is breaking my makeup,” Chuuya whines.

“Doesn’t he look pretty?” Yosano asks, gesturing to Atsushi.

“He looks like a clown,” Dazai says.

“Ah, but a very pretty clown,” Atsushi says.

“Still a clown.”

“Wipe it off,” Yosano says. “Let me try again.”

Chuuya whines like a cat whose tail has been stepped on.

Akutagawa pats the other side of Chuuya’s bed. “It’s very entertaining,” he tells Dazai.

And so Dazai spends his Saturday morning watching Chuuya try and fail to teach Yosano how to
do eyeliner art.

Nothing happens for a while. Well, Chuuya kisses Dazai for the first time in four and a half years,
but that’s not as startling or earth-shattering as it ought to have been. In fact, when Atsushi finds out
about it, all he has to offer is a smug grin and a teasing, “Well, that took long enough,” to the pair.
But other than that, nothing happens.

Then Dazai gets a call from Ranpo that they found the missing ability user. Chuuya tags along
because the Port Mafia thinks they deserve to have a hand in the operation and their usual
candidate to send on joint missions with the agency is currently out of commission.

Thus, Atsushi and Akutagawa are ordered to remain in Chuuya’s apartment no matter what and to
ensure the orders are followed, Chuuya calls Gin to babysit them.

Chuuya simply forgot two crucial things about Gin; that she will give in to Atsushi if he so much
as pouts a little bit and she will always let her brother have what he wants in the end. So when they
learn that Dazai and Chuuya were led into an ambush and the rest of the detective agency is caught
up in a fight themselves, Gin doesn’t just let Atsushi and Akutagawa leave, but she also follows
after them.

Chuuya doesn’t want to use Corruption today, but they’re outnumbered and backup from the mafia
won’t arrive in time. Not to mention, if other mafia members get involved, it’ll become a whole
issue about the agency’s legal standpoint. He turns to Dazai to ask the question. Should they use
it?

Dazai doesn’t give him more than a moment’s attention, but the answer is clear. He’d happily not
do it if Chuuya had a better idea.

Chuuya starts to remove his gloves and then —

“What the fuck are you two doing here?!” Dazai screeches.

“Helping!” Atsushi yells a little too cheerily from the edge of the clearing, binding two assailants
with Rashomon and throwing them into each other, effectively knocking them both out.

A blur of black and silver streaks past Atsushi and through the army. Akutagawa makes
surprisingly efficient use of the tiger’s claws.

“You let them out?!” Chuuya yells at Gin when he spots her.

She shrugs before disappearing — most likely to aid the detective agency in capturing the ability
user.

But as much as Chuuya thinks they should’ve stayed put, there’s no denying that Atsushi and
Akutagawa’s arrival sharply turns the tides.

At one point, Dazai and Chuuya are granted a brief respite and given the opportunity to witness
Dazai’s project in action. The fact that the two of them are so effortlessly in sync and effective is
made all the more monumental when it’s taken into account that they have never before engaged in
combat with the abilities they currently host.

They glide along the battlefield like partners who trained together for years. Or, better yet, like
twin flames who’ve been thrown together by circumstances designed for them, thrust into a world
they have always shared but never knew until the moment they met.

Dazai and Chuuya would know what that’s like.

They’ve heard the rumours that spread about them before and after Dazai left the mafia, of course.
Claims that they are one soul in two bodies. Claims that they must’ve fought together in a past life.
That they were built for the purpose of taking on their enemies as a unit. That they are the only
ones who can make the other so overpowered.

And sure, they lapped up the praise and they understood why the rumours flew, but they never
quite understood why those rumours. Not until today, at least.

Because Atsushi and Akutagawa move like they share a single train of thought. They fight like
they know each other more than they know themselves. They fall into step beside, behind and
around each other like they were made to attack as one. They are both so powerful on their own,
but together, they break limits they shouldn’t even be able to reach.

If Dazai and Chuuya are unbeatable, then Atsushi and Akutagawa are unstoppable. Watching them
feels nostalgic, in a way.

And once again, Chuuya can’t help but be overly impressed by them due to the fact that they aren’t
using the abilities they’ve trained with up until now.

Chuuya’s always seen Akutagawa as someone he should’ve taught. Even though he was brought
into the mafia under Dazai, Chuuya always thought that he should’ve been the one to guide him.
Maybe it was never about seeing a kindred spirit in him. Maybe all it was, was who dragged them
both into Mori’s hand.

Because he doesn’t see himself in Akutagawa. Not really. No, he sees himself in Akutagawa’s
partner, in the exact moment where Atsushi abandons his opponent to shield Akutagawa from
something that wouldn’t even harm him.

He almost gets shot in the face, watching the seconds tick by. He can’t quite separate the scene
before him from a memory of his own.

An ability user, targeting Dazai, who cannot be harmed by an ability. Himself, shoving Dazai out
of the way. Dazai, calling him stupid to pretend he wasn’t terrified but being betrayed by the tone
of his voice.

A bullet, fired at Akutagawa, who hosts an ability that can heal him near instantly. Atsushi,
colliding with Akutagawa to intercept. Akutagawa, calling him an idiot and trying to pretend like
he’s not terrified but being betrayed by the hoarseness with which he says it.

“Chuuya!”

Chuuya stops the bullet before it cracks his skull open and puts his focus on taking out the
remaining fifteen attackers so Dazai can cover Atsushi and Akutagawa.

“Is it just me or are the stars spinning?”

“You’re a fucking imbecile. You could’ve just used Rashomon.”

Chuuya stands where the last enemy falls, recalling the way he could’ve used his ability the
moment the other made contact with him, but all that had been on his mind was Dazai, Dazai,
Dazai.

“It’s a flesh wound,” Dazai tells Akutagawa. “He’s had worse. He’ll be fine.”

“Woah. I didn’t know you were a triplet, Dazai.”

“Where’s that butterfly detective?” Akutagawa asks Dazai. “She’s got a healing ability, right?”

“He’s not dying, Akutagawa. He doesn’t need Yosano’s ability. It’s just delirium from blood loss.”

“Let’s get him to Yosano, anyway,” Chuuya says, joining the three of them. “She is still a doctor.”

Dazai nods and, unsurprisingly, pulls a bandage from one of his pockets. “This’ll help for now.
Atsushi, can you recall Rashomon for me?”

Atsushi giggles. “What are you asking me for? That’s not my ability.”

Dazai sighs. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

Akutagawa props Atsushi up and watches Dazai wrap the bandage around Atsushi with narrowed
eyes, as if he doesn’t trust Dazai to do it right.

“We got the ability user captive,” Yosano says as she makes her way through the unconscious
bodies — and probably the odd dead ones too — to the four of them. “I came over to check in. You
look like you could use some help. We’ve already patched up folks on our side.”

“Atsushi got shot,” Chuuya says. “Think you could take a look at it at your agency office?”
“Yeah, sure. Let me take —”

“I’ll bring him,” Akutagawa cuts in, flashing Yosano a glare that dares her to argue.

She simply nods. “Okay. Dazai, I’ll have to keep him sedated until you get there, just in case. We
only have the one building and we can’t afford to let Rashomon run rampant. Akutagawa, do you
need any help?”

“I’m fine.”

Chuuya watches Akutagawa gather Atsushi in his arms and stand. Atsushi mumbles something
about flying.

“Did you see?” Dazai asks when they’re alone.

Chuuya looks down at him. “See what?”

Dazai tilts his head back to look at Chuuya. “The way they fought. They’ve changed their styles to
match the abilities they’re currently wielding.”

Chuuya glances at the retreating figures, watching Yosano talk to Akutagawa as they walk. “Oh,
you’re right. Ryuu was never one to charge in from the get go like that.”

“Mm. And all Atsushi ever did was rush in blindly.”

“They remind me a little of us.”

“I know.”

Oh, Chuuya thinks. Then,

Oh.

“That’s why you’ve been so insistent on them working together as often as you can,” Chuuya says.

Dazai stands and brushes his ruined waistcoat down, as if that will mend the tears and clean the
blood. “Mm.”

“Come on, let’s go talk to this ability user. I’ll call someone to clean up.”

Dazai gives Chuuya a chilling grin. “Oh? Is it going to be a fun talk?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a saintly little detective?” Chuuya asks as they make their leave from
the site.

“My boss didn’t tell me not to not extract information by any means necessary.”

Chuuya huffs, slightly amused. “You and your plausible deniability bullshit.”

“Don’t be like that, hatrack. You love my bullshit.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “And I regret it every single day of my life.”

“Chuuya’s so mean to me,” Dazai whines. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

“Would you like the list in alphabetical order or chronological order?”

Dazai pouts. “You’re extra mean today.”

“No, you’re just extra sensitive today. Did you lose your backbone in the fight?”

“Rude.”

“Piece of shit.”

They bicker all the way to the agency.

“Did anyone else get their abilities swapped during the capture?” Dazai asks as Kunikida guides
them down to the basement, where they’ve constructed a makeshift holding cell.

“No, we’re all safe. None of us got close to her.”

“Oh?” Dazai says, turning to raise his eyebrows at Chuuya, knowing that his clever chibi will catch
on immediately. “And how did you manage to capture her if you didn’t get close to her?”

“You left the capture to Ranpo and Gin when she arrived,” Chuuya says. “Because the ability can’t
do anything to them. They’re sitting guard, aren’t they?”

“Bingo!” Dazai says. “I assume they’ll switch out with Naomi and Haruno in shifts, given that the
two of them are most capable in combat out of the office staff — just as a precautionary measure.”

Kunikida glares at Dazai. “Did you tell a Port Mafia executive that Ranpo doesn’t have an ability?”

“What do you take me for, Kunikida?”

“It was Yosano, actually,” Chuuya offers. “But don’t worry, I won’t spread the word and neither
will Gin or Ryuu. We’ve got bigger problems to worry about than debating the existence of the
Seiyu Sherlock Holmes’ ability.”

Kunikida peers at Chuuya curiously. “Am I allowed to ask about them?”

“Nope!” Dazai says cheerfully. “Plausible deniability and all, you know how it is.”

“I genuinely do not.”

“I think you like that phrase just a little too much, bandage hoarder,” Chuuya says.

Kunikida snorts, covering it up by clearing his throat. Dazai stares at him, faux betrayal written all
over his face.

“Kunikida, how could you?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Kunikida says.

“Hm,” Chuuya says, “I guess you’re not as much of a prick as I thought you were.”

Kunikida stops outside a door and glares at Chuuya for a moment before addressing both of them.
“Be careful. Ranpo and Gin are in there, watching the door, but she might try to get you two once
you get in.”

“She can’t do anything with the mummified nullifier in the room,” Chuuya says.

“No, but it’s safe to assume that if she touches you, she could end up swapping your ability with
someone unknown. We really don’t need an ability like that in the hands of a potential threat.”

Dazai gives Kunikida a firm nod. “We’ll be careful.”

“In you go, then.”

Chuuya gives Dazai a bewildered look, as though surprised that Dazai possesses the ability to be
serious outside of a torture chamber.

Kunikida lets them in and locks the door behind them.

“Hi,” Ranpo greets, not looking up from the chess game he’s playing with Gin outside a second
door.

Gin offers them a guilty grin — they’ll ponder the significance of Gin taking her mask off and
speaking freely in front of Ranpo another time. “Hello.”

“I’ll deal with you later,” Chuuya tells her, which only makes her wince and look down at the
chessboard. “But, for now, you made the right call.”

Gin looks up and beams.

“Who’s winning?” Dazai asks, gesturing to the chessboard even though he knows the answer.

“Gin,” Ranpo says, sounding somewhat excited. “For now, at least.”

“How?” Dazai blurts before he can stop himself.

“I think she’s eating my pieces,” Ranpo says. “I’m not sure.”

Gin scoffs. “It’s not my fault if you can’t predict my moves.”

“There’s no pattern or strategy! You’re just being random!”

“Yeah, but it tickles your brain just right.”

Ranpo gives her a smile before moving a piece. “Correct.”

Gin gestures to the door behind her. “She’s in there. Try not to kill her, Dazai.”

Dazai scoffs. “I do have some form of self control, you know.”

“Really? Because Ryuu says you and —”

“We don’t need to get into what that boy said!” Dazai shouts over her, ignoring her delighted
grinning to open the door and let Chuuya in.

“Ogawa Yoko,” Dazai greets as Chuuya closes the door, muffling Gin’s gleeful cackling when
Ranpo asks her why on God’s green earth would she move her knight there. “You’ve caused quite
a bit of trouble for us these past four months, haven’t you, Ogawa?”

“Please,” the woman chained to the far end of the wall says, her voice dripping with honey, “call
me Yoko.”

Dazai gives her a tight smile. “Hold still for me, would you? I’d like to fix the issues you’ve
caused before we get into anything.”
She stays where she stands as Dazai approaches, but when he gets halfway into the cell, she
bypasses him and makes a beeline for Chuuya, who leans against the door behind him, watching
her chains pull taught. She struggles to make the last few steps anyway. Dazai watches quietly.

“You have such a fascinating ability, Nakahara Chuuya,” Yoko coos him, a smile of childlike
wonder on her face as she tilts her head to one side. “How I wish I could take it away and see what
you end up with.”

Dazai thinks her voice is lilting and smooth, but fucking creepy.

Chuuya tilts his head. “So, it’s random, then? Pure chance that Rashomon and the weretiger were
swapped with each other?”

Yoko nods eagerly. “Yes, yes! Oh, but it would be so interesting to see who you are without your
ability. The human nature is so fascinating! Who are we when our gifts that have shaped us are no
longer with us? Would you still be so confident without all that power coursing through your body,
hmm? I want to know. Let me see, pretty please? Just your hand. Let me hold your hand, please.”

Dazai watches Yoko plead with Chuuya, thinking about her words. He understands her implication
that when one’s ability is stripped away and replaced with something else, the essence of who they
are changes. Honestly, if not for Akutagawa’s confirmation that Atsushi has always been
something of a menace, Dazai would fully believe that their swapped abilities have changed them.
He doesn’t think Yoko is lying, even though she is clearly incorrect.

“Yoko,” Dazai calls from the middle of the room. “I’d like to return my boys’ abilities to them.”

Yoko, still pulling on the chains in a futile attempt to reach Chuuya, tilts her head back to look at
Dazai. The smile she gives him is equal parts beautiful and eerie. “You can’t. Not even your
sought-after nullification, Dazai Osamu, can change what’s already been done. They’re stuck like
that. You can still try, if you like.”

Yoko spins away from Chuuya and steps up to Dazai, holding out her hand. “Go on.”

She giggles when Dazai grabs her arm above the shackles, eyes shut tight as she throws her head
back. Dazai and Chuuya share a single, inexpressive glance that tells them both that this was not
what they expected to find when they got to the ability user.

“Do you want to know about my ability?” Yoko asks, opening her bright and wild eyes to look at
Dazai. “Oh, you do! You are curious.”

“Well, if you’re offering,” Dazai offers her a creepy smile of his own that he hasn’t used in almost
five years, “do enlighten me.”

“The Housekeeper and the Professor,” Yoko says. “I know it doesn’t seem like much at a first
glance, but surely you’ve seen what it can do. How are those two lovely lads doing, by the way?
What are their lives like now that they cannot remember their pasts? I do wonder what it must be
like to exist with only a short time of memories before the swap takes effect — eight minutes, to be
exact.”

Neither Dazai nor Chuuya give Yoko any indication that they are surprised by her words, but they
know the other is baffled. They’re not meant to remember anything before eight minutes prior to
the swap?

“My ability strips you down to your core,” Yoko tells Chuuya, “and it shows me who you really
are, deep inside. Are your instincts learned or are they something you’ve always had? Would the
famed Double Black still have such blind faith in one another if they cannot remember their
history, if their gifts which are so beautifully made for one another are replaced with something
else? Tell me, Nakahara Chuuya, what do you think? Would you still trust this man with your life
if you were in the midst of battle and could only recall the last eight minutes?”

Chuuya folds his arms. “The battle would be over before seven minutes had passed.”

Yoko gasps. “I’d heard rumours of this intricate, convoluted partnership and the unwavering faith
you have in one another, but I’ve always doubted the honesty of it. I don’t doubt it any longer.”

“How do we undo the swap, then?” Dazai asks.

She laughs and had he not been in the room with her, Dazai would think she sounds like she’s
sitting for lunch with an old friend to catch up. But he is, and her laugh sounds maniacal when he
can see the expression it comes with.

“I told you already; you can’t! My ability can only be nullified by your own if you catch me within
the eight minutes. It’s far too late to save them, now. They will have to make themselves anew. I
wonder if the old weretiger would be drawn to the mafia for the ability he now possesses. Did you
know, our abilities do have some sway over our souls? Some abilities are drawn to one another,
like your own. I wonder, if I could touch you and have my ability work, would there be two
strangers out there in the world, yearning for something they didn’t know existed until they were
given No Longer Human and For The Tainted Sorrow? Would they scour the earth for the
soulmate they never had before their abilities were altered? And you. Would you still be naturally
perfect partners if you had different abilities?”

Dazai wonders what sets Atsushi and Akutagawa apart from all of Yoko’s other victims.

“If Corruption didn’t depend on No Longer Human for its host to survive, would the two of you
still always come back to one another?”

“I don’t trust No Longer Human to survive Corruption,” Chuuya tells her. “I trust Dazai.”

Yoko gasps and her eyes twinkle. “Is that so! Let me see. Let me take your ability away and let me
see if you would still fight by his side when you don’t need him.”

“I have never needed Dazai to fight.”

“Oh, this is delightful! And you?” Yoko turns back to Dazai. “What do you think?”

“I don’t need Chuuya either.”

“I want him,” goes unsaid.

Yoko looks like she’s struck gold. “Is that so?”

“So, Yoko,” Dazai says, “what exactly are we meant to do, since your ability cannot be undone?”

Yoko shrugs. “What can you do? You must simply learn to accept that this is their new life and
perhaps, neither of them will want to stay with the Port Mafia or this detective thing you have
going on here.”

“You think the Port Mafia is just going to let one of its strongest pillars go?” Chuuya asks.

“Of course not. But wouldn’t it be fun to see how far the new Akutagawa Ryuunosuke will go to
attain freedom, since he cannot remember captivity and knows freedom now? I wonder, are they
like you? Do they ache for one another without knowing why? Their abilities are not like yours,
built to work for each other. They’re a little different. Their abilities were molded to fit together. I
wonder, does placing the ability in a new host wipe away that development? Would they still be
able to trust and depend on one another?”

Dazai considers telling Yoko that Atsushi and Akutagawa’s memories remain unaffected, but what
will that do?

“Tell me,” Yoko croons at Dazai. “Pretty please. Oh, show them to me! They’re here, aren’t they?
Their abilities, I can feel them. I’ve touched those abilities. I know them. I swear, I won’t swap
them again. I’ll behave. Let me see how they’ve changed.”

“Hold on,” Chuuya says. He moves to take a step towards Yoko, then remembers her ability and
simply shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “You mean you can swap them again? You just
said you can’t undo the swap.”

Yoko shrugs. “I could swap them both again, but there’s no guarantee the abilities will return to
their original hosts. You don’t want a pretty thing like Rashomon in the hands of an amateur, do
you?”

Chuuya folds his arms. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”

Yoko clasps her hands in front of her. “I’ll behave if I can see those two lads again. I’ll sit here and
I won’t try to leave and — and I’ll be so good, you’ll even trust your ability user staff to deliver
food for me! Please. I want to know.”

Chuuya glances at Dazai. Dazai holds his gaze for a moment. Yoko flicks her gaze between them
rapidly.

Then, Dazai smiles at her. “We’ll see what they think about it.”

Yoko gasps, flapping her hands in sheer delight. “Thank you! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank
you!”

“Don’t thank us yet,” Chuuya says. “They might not want to see you.”

“But you’ll ask! No one ever asks for me.”

Like a little girl, Yoko giggles softly and skips over to the futon she’s been given and sits on it,
twisting and wrapping the chain around her hand. Chuuya scrambles to open the door and leave.

Neither of them say anything until they’ve been let out of the basement and left to their own
devices in the cafe.

“She needs a fucking therapist,” Chuuya says after a moment.

“Oh, like we don’t.”

“She clearly needs one more. We’re coping just fine.”

Dazai raises his eyebrows. “Chuuya, sweetheart, suicidal behaviour and alcoholism aren’t signs of
coping well.”

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “Don’t call me that, dickhead.”

Yosano knocks on the open door to get their attention. “Atsushi’s awake.”
 Chapter 6

“Ow,” is the first thing out of Atsushi’s mouth before he even opens his eyes.

“Hey, there, princess.”

“Hi,” Atsushi sings, smiling at Akutagawa, who has pretty pink bubbles floating around him. “Am
I on painkillers? You’re sparkling.”

Akutagawa nods. “The butterfly one gave you a morphine drip to keep you from summoning
Rashomon while the sedative wore off.”

“Oh, that sounds nice.”

“I hope you know that you’re going to get several lectures later.”

“Several? How come?”

“One from Chuuya for leaving the apartment, one from Dazai for joining the fight even though
we’ve never trained with these abilities before, one from Gin for almost dying on her, one from
butterfly about wound care, one from tall glasses about engaging without proper briefing and one
from me about your reckless behaviour.”

“But I’m too pretty to be lectured so much,” Atsushi whines, grinning when the claim only makes
Akutagawa sigh and shake his head. “Come on, that was funny. You find me funny.”

“Only a little.”

“That’s enough for me!”

“Good to see you being your usual self, sunshine,” Chuuya says when Yosano lets him and Dazai
into the room.

“Chuuya!” Atsushi sings. “You came to visit me! That’s so sweet!”

Chuuya rolls his eyes. “How do you feel?”

“Floaty.”

“The morphine is already starting to wear off,” Yosano says. “He’ll have his head screwed on
properly in a minute or two.”

“Thank you,” Dazai tells her.

“No problem. I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Yosano leaves, closing the door after her.

“How’d we do?” Atsushi asks Dazai. “Did we pass your tests?”

“Tests?” Akutagawa asks.

“Mm, Dazai’s been testing us for ages and we keep bringing back satisfactory results, but we never
exceed his expectations.” Atsushi grins when Dazai blinks in surprise. “What? You’re not very
subtle, you know.”

“I . . . uh. . .”

Atsushi turns to Akutagawa, who has slightly less bubbles around his head now. “Don’t tell me
you didn’t notice. Why else would Dazai keep pairing us up for assignments suited to other people?
Half of the things we’ve done would’ve been over in ten percent of the time if he’d sent Kyoka
with Kunikida or if he’d just passed it over to the Port Mafia for Gin’s team to handle. You know
that.”

Realisation takes a moment to settle on Akutagawa’s face and once it does, he frowns at Atsushi.
“How the fuck did you figure that out?”

“I’d also like to know,” Dazai says.

Atsushi huffs and the last three bubbles pop with an array of sparkles. “I’m actually very
perceptive. You all just think I’m oblivious because it’s easier to get out of work if I play dumb.”

Chuuya is the one to break the silence with a snort. “You didn’t even need me to teach you
anything, you sly little shit.”

Atsushi laughs, smiling like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and isn’t sorry
about it at all. “You looked excited. I couldn’t say no.”

“How long have you known?” Dazai asks.

“I think since our third team-up? The one where you sent us to investigate reports of thieves down
by the port. You could’ve easily assigned it to Kyoka. It was something easy that she couldn’t
mess up and would’ve given her the confidence to accept bigger cases on her own. Obviously, we
did mess up, but who are we if not chaos incarnate?”

“You scare me a little bit,” Akutagawa confesses.

“Aww, the bubbles are all gone.”

“Bubbles?” Chuuya asks.

“Morphine,” is all Akutagawa says on the matter.

“Ah.”

“My head hurts,” Atsushi grumbles, feeling nothing like he had when he first heard Chuuya’s
voice.

“I know,” Akutagawa says so gently that Atsushi thinks the pain is worth it if Akutagawa keeps
talking to him like that. Part of him wishes they already undid the swap, if only so the tiger would
let Akutagawa know exactly how Atsushi feels about Akutagawa playing with his hair.

“Oh, I thought I heard something about a capture before I passed out?” Atsushi says, looking at
Dazai. “Did we get her?”

Atsushi doesn’t like the look Dazai and Chuuya share and by the way Akutagawa’s hand stills,
Atsushi can tell he didn’t imagine it.

“What?” Atsushi asks. “What happened?”

“We can’t undo it,” Dazai states plainly. “She claims that if I wanted to successfully use my ability
on her, it would’ve had to have been done in the eight minutes between when she used her ability
on you and when the swap kicked in.”

“And you took her word for it?” Akutagawa asks.

“I held her arm. If she was lying, you’d have your abilities back by now.”

“Huh,” Atsushi says, staring at the ceiling. “I thought I’d be at least a little upset about this.”

“You’re not?” Chuuya asks, surprised.

“Not really. I liked the tiger a lot but I like Rashomon too. I don’t feel like I have a new ability or
anything. I imagine I’d be pissed if she’d swapped me with someone else.”

“That’s another thing,” Dazai says. “Yoko — that’s her name — claims that the swap is random.”

“Random,” Akutagawa says. “As in, sheer chance that our abilities are still with us and not some
enemy organisation?”

“Mhm.”

“You two aren’t experiencing any kind of memory loss,” Chuuya says slowly, “are you?”

“Chuuya, I got shot and I hit my head really hard. I think I’m entitled to a bit of memory loss.”

“No, I mean before the swap. You both remember everything you normally remember, right?”

“Why?” Akutagawa asks after he nods.

“Yoko claimed that her victims have no memory of their lives before she used her ability on them.”

“That’s bullshit,” Atsushi says with a scoff. “You’d know if we didn’t remember anything.”

“So, what do we do?” Akutagawa asks. “Just . . . live like this?”

Dazai shrugs. “It’s the best I can give you right now. Yoko can try to swap you again, but
Rashomon and the weretiger could end up with strangers and who knows what sort of ability you’d
end up with. You both have dangerously powerful abilities, much like Chuuya. To have those
abilities in the hands of people we don’t trust is too big of a risk to take.”

“We know,” Atsushi says. He drags his gaze from the ceiling to Dazai and Chuuya. “Did she say
anything helpful?”

Dazai and Chuuya share another glance.

“She wants to see you two,” Chuuya says. “She thinks her ability worked as per normal on you and
that neither of you have any memories of before the fight.”

“You didn’t tell her?” Akutagawa asks.

Dazai grins. “I thought you might want to see the look on her face when she can’t understand what
happened.”

“Something tells me she will, though,” Chuuya says, shuddering. “She’s one creepy ass bitch, all
right.”
Atsushi turns his head to Akutagawa, fully prepared to pull out all the stops on everything about
him that makes Akutagawa give in to his whims, but one look at him is enough to know that he
doesn’t need to.

“Let’s go baffle a bitch, kitten.”

“In a minute,” Dazai says quickly. “You weren’t so on the brink of death that Yosano could heal
you with her ability and I heard Akutagawa threatened to bite her head clean off her shoulders if
she hurt you any further to make it so, so you need to recover the normal way again. You can go to
the basement after Yosano lets you walk.”

“We have a basement?” Atsushi asks, wrinkling his nose.

“We do now.”

“Oh. Cool. So, how long do I have to wait before I’m allowed to get up?”

“Just a few more hours,” Akutagawa tells him, resuming the motions through Atsushi’s hair. “We
can ask butterfly to knock you out so you can sleep through the wait.”

“No,” Atsushi whines like a child who’s been told to go to bed, “I don’t like sedatives. Put me to
sleep yourself.”

Akutagawa raises his eyebrows. Atsushi thinks it’s a little impressive that he can tell what
expression Akutagawa is making, but the morphine has left enough that he knows better than to say
so.

“Okay, would you like an uppercut or a jab?”

“Asshole. Fuck you. Go away. Chuuya, make me sleep.”

“In your dreams, sunshine.”

“Yes, that is ideally where I’d like to be.”

Dazai snorts. “As amusing as it would be to see Akutagawa trying to make someone sleep, I’m
afraid I have to steal him away for a moment.”

“What?” Atsushi looks like a toddler whose favourite toy has been stolen. “Why?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Akutagawa says, patting Atsushi’s head before he stands. “I’ll tell you
about it later.”

“Fine.”

As Dazai closes the door behind him and Akutagawa, he catches Atsushi turning to Chuuya and
asking him if he knows any lullabies.

He smiles to himself as the door clicks. Atsushi’s kind of cute, in the way babies are when they’re
not slobbery and crabby.

“Is there really nothing we can do?” Akutagawa asks when Dazai turns to him.

Dazai shakes his head. “Regrettably, I am at a loss. More so, so is Ranpo. Yoko is telling the truth.
There’s nothing we have or haven’t thought of already that would work.”
“Not even another ability that could swap with intent? If this woman’s ability is random, couldn’t
we find someone whose ability isn’t?”

“Akutagawa, the chances of finding that person are so close to zero. You could live your entire life
before we even hear about someone like Yoko. You’re better off learning to accept it than holding
out hope for another swap.”

“I don’t — how can he be fine with this?”

Dazai tilts his head, as though this wasn’t exactly what he wanted to talk about. “What do you
mean?”

“I just — I know what Rashomon is like, okay? A powerful ability, yes, but she eats away at you.”

“She eats away at you,” Dazai says. “Have you considered that she makes you weak from usage
because you’re already sick? How many battles have there been where you needed pause between
some of your more draining moves? The fight earlier today lasted a good ten minutes after the two
of you arrived. Atsushi didn’t falter once. He has the body to sustain Rashomon.”

“But that’s not fair to him. What if she starts to eat away at him?”

“He’s had Rashomon for four months, Akutagawa, and though he hasn’t engaged in combat before
today, he’s used her plenty in that time.”

“But. . .”

“Atsushi has the body to sustain Rashomon and the weretiger has the ability to sustain you. Can’t
you see this the way he does?”

Akutagawa tilts his head. “What way is that?”

“A blessing, Akutagawa. A mercy. A gift.”

“Rashomon is a curse.”

“No, she’s an ability just like all others. You just weren’t compatible with her.”

“Chuuya thinks his ability is a curse.”

“Chuuya thinks corruption is a curse. It’s an aspect of his ability that neither he nor I like. Atsushi
doesn’t like the fact that Rashomon can be so lethal if he’s not careful. You don’t like the tiger
manifesting parts of himself when you’re overcome with an intense feeling. We all have parts of
our abilities that we’d rather do without, but they’re part of us anyway.”

“What don’t you like about yours?” Akutagawa asks after a moment.

“I can’t turn it off. I can never touch another ability user without taking away something that is a
part of them. It’s helpful and it’s handy, but it feels cruel at times. There are moments where I just
want Chuuya’s hand, and a simple brush makes him stumble because he feels off-balance when
he's disconnected from gravity. I hate it.”

“Oh.”

Dazai studies Akutagawa for a moment, wondering how best to convince him that this swap
might’ve luckily been for the best.
“Oh,” Akutagawa says.

Well, maybe he doesn’t need to say anything further.

“Atsushi!” Gin cries the moment the pair of them enter the room. She stands abruptly, nearly
knocking down the card castle she and Ranpo are building in the process.

Akutagawa grabs her by the back of her shirt before she gets to Atsushi. “Being on his feet does not
translate to being cleared for tackles, Gin.”

“Get off me, ass.”

Atsushi offers her a smile. “Hi, Gin. I’m all right.”

“That’s good,” Gin says, shooting her brother a glare when he releases her. “When Haruno and
Naomi come down for their shift, I’ll head home and make something for you. What do you want?
Soup? Noodles? Rice?”

“Gin, you don’t have t-”

“I must! You always look out for Ryuu for me, so you can just pretend like this is me thanking
you.”

“I — okay.”

Akutagawa rolls his eyes. Arguing with Gin is always useless. Atsushi should know this by now.

“Gin,” Ranpo says, setting two cards down on the castle. “They’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Right! Text me later if Haruno and Naomi switch out with us before you’re done, okay?”

“All right, all right,” Akutagawa says. “Go sit down and build your little castle.”

“It is not little! It’s an extravagant manor!”

“Okay, sweetie.” Akutagawa rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say, sweetie.”

“Don’t patronise me, Ryuu.”

Akutagawa waves his hand in the air as he guides Atsushi towards the door.

There have been many, many times over these past four months where Dazai has claimed that
Atsushi used to be a completely different person at the agency and everywhere else. Akutagawa
believed him, but he figured Dazai was just blind to Atsushi’s obvious feral behaviour because
Atsushi’s cute and good.

But as they cross the threshold it seems as though someone meek and nervous has switched places
with Atsushi. It’s incredible to watch, like he’s meeting a brand new person. He can’t fathom how
this is the person Dazai had gotten used to and then had to come face to face with the Atsushi that
Akutagawa has always known.

Ogawa Yoko sits on her futon and watches them close the door again. She doesn’t get up, the way
Dazai had said she did when he and Chuuya entered, but her eyes light up and her mouth opens in a
small ‘o’ of surprise.
“You came,” Yoko breathes, as though she didn’t expect them to. “Oh, wow, this is lovely!”

“Dazai said you wanted to see us,” Akutagawa says, struggling to hide his amusement at the way
Atsushi cowers behind him.

When Atsushi had asked if they could see how long it takes for Yoko to realise that she was wrong
about what happened to them after she used her ability on them, Akutagawa thought it was stupid.
But Atsushi pulled out his fucking terrified kitten eyes and Akutagawa didn’t know how to deny
him his stupid requests.

He didn’t expect it to be this amusing.

“I did, yes. Oh, you look well!”

“I feel fine.”

Yoko stands, but she doesn’t move any closer — just as she promised Dazai and Chuuya. She tilts
her head. “There is something strange about you. Something’s not right. You don’t feel different.”

“Different?” Akutagawa asks.

“People who lose their abilities and gain new ones feel different. It’s because of the swap. Their
core essence changes. You . . . feel the same.”

“That’s . . . interesting.”

Yoko clasps her hands under her chin and rocks on her feet. “Oh, it is! It is so very interesting! I
gather they must’ve told you about your pasts. How do you feel about —”

“Why would they need to tell us?” Atsushi asks in his soft little voice, eyes wide and head tilted to
one side. Curiosity and confusion paints his features and if Akutagawa didn’t know any better, he
would think Atsushi is as innocent as he looks. “It’s not like we had our heads bashed in hard
enough to induce that much memory loss or something.”

Yoko freezes. “You . . . remember?”

“Of course. Are we not supposed to?”

“No! No one ever does!” She tilts her head completely to one side. “I wonder what makes you
special.”

“Why were our abilities not switched with someone in your organisation?” Akutagawa asks. “I
figure that was the goal.”

“It was,” Yoko says, “but it’s always chance with my ability. Any ability user I’ve ever made
contact with who hasn’t already been affected is always in the pool to end up swapped. Well,
anyone except Dazai Osamu.”

“Is that so? Then, is it pure chance that our abilities were swapped with one another?”

Yoko pauses, humming. “I don’t think so anymore. You’ve blown a hole in my original theory. I
think . . . Hm, I think abilities seek hosts that will be the best for them. Well, second best, since
they cannot go back to their original hosts. I think your abilities sought you out.”

Atsushi widens his eyes like he didn’t have the same theory on the way to the basement. “What
does that mean for us?”
Yoko giggles. “You are better than Double Black!”

Atsushi and Akutagawa both stare, confused and curious.

“Soulmates aren’t always decided by some higher power. Sometimes, they’re forged. And the ones
that are forged will always be stronger, because there was a choice in the making of it. Oh, this is
quite lovely. So, tell me, you remember everything? You haven’t lost memories of your childhood
or anything?”

They both shake their heads.

“And your new abilities? Do you use them well?”

Akutagawa thinks about the ease with which he’d fought alongside Atsushi with an ability he
thought he was still unfamiliar with. “I guess.”

“And have they changed you?”

Atsushi, who’d been slightly hunched over behind Akutagawa all this time, nudges Akutagawa and
shoots Yoko a grin. “Well, Ryuu’s a lot softer now, but that might just be due to seeing my pretty
face every single day.”

“Fuck off, shitty haircut.”

“Aw, that’s mean, baby boy.”

Akutagawa closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, ignoring the burn in his ears and the fluttery
feeling in his chest. “Shut up.”

“Make me, baby boy.”

“Would you prefer being thrown out of a window or buried under a building?”

Atsushi chuckles. “You’re such a romantic, you know that?”

“Fuck off.”

“I see,” Yoko says quietly, startling them both. “You are like Double Black, then. You are not
drawn together by your abilities. Your abilities are drawn together by you. No one else could work
together like you even if they had these abilities. That must be why they chose you.”

“Our abilities . . . chose us?” Akutagawa asks.

Yoko nods vigorously. “You must not have changed because you already were your truest selves
separate from your abilities.”

Akutagawa thinks about that. Dazai certainly seems to think that Atsushi’s changed, but Atsushi is
as Akuatagwa has always known him — a little frustrating and far too bold for his own good, but
annoyingly endearing all the same. As for himself, he can’t really say, but Gin has mentioned once
or twice that she likes how open and talkative he is recently. Which makes no sense, because
Akutagawa talks a lot — just because it’s mostly with Atsushi, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Unless Yoko means that they haven’t been their ‘truest selves’ outside of one another’s presence
prior to the swap.

But that sounds cheesy as fuck, so he’s not going to think about that.
“Oh, and they knew I was wrong about you! They knew and they still let me blabber on for ages!”

Atsushi sighs. “Well, this has been fun, but I was ordered to not remain standing for longer than an
hour and it took me twenty minutes to go down the stairs.”

“Will you visit again?” Yoko asks. She rocks on her feet again, as though she can’t contain her
excitement. “Oh, please do! Please visit me! I want to see if you change later. I’ve never
encountered anyone who remembers. You are both so fascinating. More so than your
predecessors.”

“Prede- what are you talking about?”

Atsushi rolls his eyes. “She means Dazai and Chuuya. Keep up, kitten.”

“Yes!” Yoko shouts, pointing at Atsushi. “Yes, I do! They are quite fascinating but you two . . . oh,
how I wish I could’ve seen you when the swap took effect! It must’ve been so disorienting.”

“Not really,” Atsushi says with a shrug. “I’m already super familiar with Rashomon, so it just felt a
little weird not having the tiger.”

Akutagawa shrugs too when Yoko looks at him. “I was just mostly annoyed.”

“Really? You didn’t feel out of control? Lost? Overwhelmed?” Yoko blinks faster every time they
shake their heads. “Nothing like that?”

“Like I said, mostly just annoyed.”

“Wow. So then, in the immediate circle, this swap has had no effect on you?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Atsushi says. He tilts his head toward Akutagawa and smiles. It’s a
smile that Akutagawa adores but has also come to fear vehemently. It means Atsushi is about to
say or do something that will make Akutagawa want to fling himself out of a moving car on a
highway because he doesn’t know what to do with himself. “My partner can’t lie to me anymore.
The tiger gives him away immediately.”

Partner. They’re partners. Which is obvious. By this point, they’re not merely people from
opposing sides of the line who are made to work together on select assignments anymore. Partners
is a very adequate term to describe them.

But the way Atsushi says it makes it seem like it’s got nothing to do with the number of times they
work together or how efficient they are as a duo.

Atsushi says it like it means something else. Like it means something more.

And God, Akutagawa wants it to mean something more, so bad.

So he does the sensible thing. “Shut the fuck up.”

Shit.

Atsushi giggles. “I adore you, Ryuunosuke.”

Something in him snaps. “That’s it. That’s enough time out of bed for you. Say goodbye to the
crazy lady.”

Yoko huffs. “I am not crazy! I may be odd, but I’m not crazy.”
“Sorry. Say goodbye to the odd lady.”

Atsushi waves as Akutagawa opens the door and drags him backwards by his collar. “Bye, Yoko!”

Yoko stays at the far end of her cell even though she could move forward and still not reach them.
“Bye! I hope you come visit again!”

“Hi,” Naomi greets when Akutagawa closes the door. “Gin said to tell you that she’s gone home to
cook something for Atsushi.”

“Mhm, thanks.”

Atsushi, still with his collar in Akutagawa’s grip, talks to Haruno and Naomi about how he’s doing
and what combat with Rashomon is like. Akutagawa bangs on the outer door. “Oi, glasses! Open
up!”

“Akutagawa,” Kunikida greets when he opens the door.

“Say bye,” Akutagawa tells Atsushi before dragging him out. He looks at Kunikida. “It’s gonna
take a while to get him back to the cafe. You can go on ahead.”

Either Kunikida doesn’t want to be around Akutagawa for too long or he genuinely has important
work waiting for him, but Akutagawa doesn’t question the claim and ignores Kunikida heading up
the stairs.

Akutagawa shoves Atsushi against the wall beside the door — gently, of course, because he knows
what it feels like to get shot and have to deal with it the normal way.

“Something bothering you, kitten?” Atsushi asks innocently.

“Say it again,” Akutagawa says, and he’s not sure if the tiger’s healing factor is failing or what, but
he sounds and feels out of breath.

“Kitten? I thought that didn’t affect you anymore.”

“My name,” Akutagawa says. “Say it again.”

“Ryuu?”

“Atsushi,” he whines and maybe on another day, about another thing, he might be mortified at the
pitiful pleading tone of his voice.

“What?” Atsushi asks, sounding concerned, but the grin he’s trying to contain screams that he
knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s enjoying it.

“You know what.”

“I don’t.”

Akutagawa drops his head and debates whether his pride is worth begging Atsushi to say his name
once more.

“Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi says, pausing to grin halfway at how fast Akutagawa whips his head up,
“is that what you wanted to hear?”

Akutagawa’s chest feels tight and he’s pretty sure he can hear his blood rushing in his ears.
“Again,” he says.

Atsushi grins fully now, a little bit amused and a lot pleased. “Ryuunosuke.”

“You fucking menace.”

Atsushi tilts his head. “I knew it’d get a rise out of you, but this exceeds every expectation I had for
the outcome. You like hearing your full name that much, huh?”

Not really, Akutagawa thinks, because it’s usually only ever said by Gin or Chuuya and it’s always
because Akutagawa is up to nonsense that they’ve had enough of. It’s usually a warning that he’s
going to get kicked if he doesn’t stop whatever he’s doing that makes them irritable.

“Only when you say it.”

“Oh? Should I say it more often?”

“I’ll fucking stab your bullet wound if you ever do it in front of other people again.”

“Your threats aren’t as terrifying as you think, kitten. You look like that one fish with the big
eyes.”

Akutagawa blinks. “Did you just call me a fucking mackerel?”

“Is that what Chuuya keeps calling Dazai? A big-eyed fish?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I have a bullet hole in one side of my waist, a recently healed bruise on the other, a possible old
fracture in my arm that I didn’t notice before and probably hurt again earlier this evening, a
sprained wrist, a minor cut on my forehead, and a couple mental illnesses probably.”

Akutagawa stares at him for a moment, trying to figure out why he picked the biggest asshole on
the entire planet — okay, second biggest, since Dazai is also on the planet — to be so weak for.

“So, are you gonna kiss me or not? Because we have to go up those stairs eventually and I’d
ideally like to get it done before Kunikida has to come back down to fetch me and lecture me the
entire way back to the offices.”

“What?”

Atsushi smiles innocently. Akutagawa thought he’d be sick of Atsushi’s dumb faux innocence by
now, but all he can think is that Atsushi looks so soft and gentle and kind of squishable. He wants
to pinch Atsushi’s cheeks.

“Well, I mean, it’s either that or you’re gonna try to drag me up the stairs by my collar.”
Akutagawa only remembers the death grip he has on Atsushi’s shirt when Atsushi circles his
fingers around Akutagawa’s wrist. His hand is warm. “I don’t think that would be very productive,
so it must be the first thing.”

“Why must you be like this?”

“Like what, Ryuunosuke?” Atsushi asks and his innocent mask very briefly cracks to show off his
victorious grin when Akutagawa’s eyes widen. He’s tracing patterns on the back of Akutagawa’s
hand now. “You let me share a bed with you and you let me under the same blanket, but this has
you so flustered and shy?”
“Shut up.”

Atsushi grins, wicked and delighted. “Make me, Ryuunosuke.”

Akutagawa’s head spins. He can’t fathom why, because it’s just Atsushi, but it does. He feels like
the world is spinning around him and the only constant that doesn’t move with the rest of the world
is Atsushi. There’s a little voice in his head, egging him on.

Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him.

Atsushi just watches him, curious eyes and amused smiles, waiting. He looks like he wouldn’t be
surprised if Akutagawa turned around and dragged him up the stairs. But Akutagawa’s had enough
of being surprised by Atsushi and thinks maybe he’s earned the right to surprise Atsushi for once.
And anyway, Atsushi’s asking for it.

So with motions slow enough to gather his nerves, but not so slow that Atsushi catches on early,
Akutagawa brushes his hair out of his eyes and kisses Atsushi. He can’t help the thrill of victory
when a startled squeak escapes Atsushi before he settles down.

Akutagawa means for it to just be a simple, short kiss. One that will shut Atsushi up for a good
hour or two at least — mostly because he knows Atsushi’s never kissed anyone before and expects
the societal menace to turn into a stammering tomato. But when he moves back, Atsushi chases his
lips with a whine. And Akutagawa gives in, because he can never say no to Atsushi. It doesn’t help
that Atsushi’s lips are borderline addictive.

Atsushi pulls on his hair. Not violently, like he does when they decide to get into a brawl and
childishly pull each other’s hair and bite each other with the intent to win, but still somewhat harsh
enough to sting. It makes Akutagawa gasp and Atsushi hums. Akutagawa can feel Atsushi’s stupid
self-satisfied grin and that stupid grin usually makes Akutagawa want to throw Atsushi out a
window, but he can’t think of anything other than more, more, more right now.

He lets go of Atsushi’s collar to bring his hands down to Atsushi’s hips. He wants his grip to be
bruising, but he has enough of his wits about him to be careful of Atsushi’s wounds. Yosano will
skin him alive if he does anything to Atsushi’s stitches. He grunts, a little annoyed that he’s
thinking about Yosano and her scary ass face right now. Thankfully, Atsushi gets the hint and
banishes Akutagawa’s every thought with a gentle tug on Akutagawa’s lower lip with his teeth,
asking for permission.

Akutagawa gives it to him readily. He’d give Atsushi anything he asked for if he asked right now.

He’s vaguely aware of the tail behind him, swishing around wildly and he’s made aware of his ears
when Atsushi fists one hand in his hair and tugs, pulling out a deep rumble from somewhere in
Akutagawa’s chest.

“Good kitten,” Atsushi murmurs against his lips, and fuck if that doesn’t send all his blood rushing
south. Atsushi has the audacity to chuckle at the whine that interrupts Akutagawa’s purring.

Akutagawa’s lungs burn, but he can’t be bothered about that when he’s got Atsushi so pliant
beneath his hands and his lips. He could suffocate and it would be okay.

He could stay here forever.

But, alas, he is still in the detective agency building and he can’t have everything he wants.

There is the sound of shoes scuffling on the steps and a dull thud as someone’s ass hits the ground.
Then a gasp and feet scrambling to get up again.

Akutagawa ignores it. He’s busy. Kunikida can deal with the consequences of his curiosity
himself.

Then —

“Chuuya!” Dazai’s cackling laughter fills the stairwell as he scrambles back the way he’d come.
“Oi, Chuuya!”

Akutagawa pulls away in time to catch the ends of Dazai’s coat vanishing around the corner. He
huffs and wonders how long it’ll take Dazai to find Chuuya and if it’s enough time to keep kissing
Atsushi for a few more minutes.

“Greedy kitten,” Atsushi says with a soft laugh that turns into a muffled sigh when Akutagawa
resumes his task of mapping out every inch of Atsushi’s mouth. He pulls back, leaning against the
wall and keeping Akutagawa at bay with a hand on his chest.

His lips are red, his cheeks are pink, his hair is untidy and his eyes are almost black, pupils fully
blown. Akutagawa wants to taste him again, but Atsushi’s hand is firm. Akutagawa whines
pitifully, reminding himself vaguely of a sad cat.

Atsushi smiles. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough for now, kitten?”

“Fuck you,” Akutagawa mutters, scowling. He’s not done yet.

It only makes Atsushi smile wider. “As much as I adore you right now, I regretfully have to admit
that maybe the one hour time limit was wise. Plus, we really don’t need Dazai coming back down
here.”

“Fine,” Akutagawa grumbles.

Atsushi rewards him with a chaste brush against his lips. “We can pick this up again when Yosano
releases me.”

Akutagawa huffs.

“Good boy. Now, carry me up the stairs. I can’t feel my legs.”

Akutagawa glares at him. “It better be unrelated to your injuries. I’m not keen on experiencing
butterfly’s ability.”

Atsushi laughs. “I won’t tell her.”

“I know, but fucking Dazai might.”

“No, but seriously. I’m going to fall over.”

“Shit, wait, don’t.”

 Chapter 7
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Akutagawa’s been lectured by Mori for impulsive decisions before. He’s been lectured by Gin for
reckless abandon before. He’s been lectured by Chuuya for attempting to bake and covering the
kitchen with flour before. He’s been lectured by Dazai for not doing the most before.

He has never been lectured by an angry doctor six centimetres shorter than him for returning her
patient twenty minutes after he was supposed to.

“I thought I was going to die,” Akutagawa tells Tanizaki when he offers Akutagawa a glass of
water after Yosano leaves to lecture Atsushi.

“Yeah, me too. Congratulations on surviving, though.”

“Well, you’re fucking unhelpful.”

Tanizaki sits on the couch across Akutagawa. “So, you spoke to her, then? What’s she like?”

Akutagawa racks his brain for what the conversation with Yoko had been about. Embarrassingly
enough, all of it had been wiped clean the moment Atsushi said his name.

“She’s odd,” is what he settles on.

“Odd,” Tanizaki repeats.

“Yeah. Odd. She seems like she’s fascinated by human nature or something. She asked us to visit
again.”

“Will you?”

Akutagawa shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know. Dazai said you’re moving her to a secure prison soon.”

“Hi,” Chuuya says, appearing before the two of them. Behind him, Dazai wears the biggest, silliest
grin Akutagawa has ever seen. “Mind if we steal Ryuu away for a moment?”

Tanizaki starts to shake his head.

“Yes,” Akutagawa says. “Go away. We’re busy.”

“With what?” Dazai asks.

“Uh, making friends.”

Tanizaki raises his eyebrows. “We are?”

“Yes,” Akutagawa says, nodding. “We’re very busy with that, so could you kindly leave us alone?”

“I’m not sure,” Dazai says. “How do I know I can trust you not to start sucking Tanizaki’s face?”

Tanizaki’s eyes widen as Akutagawa gasps and grabs the couch cushion. Chuuya steps out of the
way to let Akutagawa charge at Dazai and beat him with the cushion.
“Fuck you!”

Dazai laughs.

“Why would you say that?!”

“My bad,” Dazai says, “I didn’t realise Atsushi was a special case.”

“Fuck you!” Akutagawa screeches, increasing the intensity of his blows with the cushion.
“Asshole!”

Tanizaki looks at Chuuya for help. Chuuya gives him a small shake of his head and a dismissive
wave.

“Chuuya,” Dazai whines, “save me!”

“You got yourself into this, you get yourself out.” And with that, Chuuya takes Akutagawa’s
vacated seat and looks at Tanizaki. “Hi.”

“H-hello.”

“Bastard! Little rat man! Bane of my fucking existence!”

“Okay, that one’s a little mean. Shouldn’t you be thanking me?”

Akutagawa pauses. “For what, exactly?”

“Well, if I hadn’t sent you two on that assignment, it wouldn’t have led to you sticking your tongue
down —”

Akutagawa resumes slamming the cushion into any part of Dazai that he can reach. “Shut up!”

“Oh my god,” Tanizaki whispers.

Chuuya nods when Tanizaki turns to him.

“No way.”

“I hate you!” Akutagawa yells at Dazai. “I hope you fracture all your toes!”

Dazai only continues to laugh. “I wish you could see the look on your face right now.”

“Fuck off!”

Kunikida stops as he walks by and stares for a moment. When Akutagawa pauses and looks at him,
cushion drawn back to beat Dazai, Kunikida nods. “Carry on.”

“Kunikida,” Dazai whines, “rescue me!”

“Nope!” Kunikida calls back, continuing on his way.

“We should talk about this whole abilities thing,” Chuuya says.

Akutagawa whacks Dazai with the cushion one more time. “What’s there to talk about? Yoko was
pretty clear that it can’t be undone.”

“So, what are you gonna do now?” Tanizaki asks.

Akutagawa shrugs. “The rest of you will just have to learn to work with Rashomon from now on.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Yosano clears her throat to get their attention. “If you’re all done here, you can take Atsushi and
scram. I’ve given him a list of instructions and I’ll need him back here to remove the stitches in
about a week.”

“Thank you,” Dazai tells her.

“No problem. Now get out. The rest of us have reports to work on and your brawling is getting in
the way.”

“Glasses approved,” Akutagawa says.

“No, he didn’t!” Dazai lies.

“Yes, he did,” Chuuya and Tanizaki say.

“Go home,” Yosano orders, but she’s grinning.

Chuuya gets up and grabs Dazai by his ear and Akutagawa by his collar. “I’ll get them out of your
way.”

Akutagawa waves at Tanizaki. Perplexed, the boy waves back.

“Oh,” Chuuya says, pausing and turning halfway. “Your eyeliner looks nice today.”

Yosano beams. “Thanks!”

Gin knows her brother very well. He’s not very vocal — or he never was — and he’s not fond of
being coddled, cradled or cuddled. Even when they were younger and he’d had a nightmare, he’d
simply ask if he could sleep in her room and he’d need to be persuaded to not sleep on the floor. If
Gin had a nightmare, he didn’t have any reservations about hugging her through it and soothing her
back to sleep, but he never wanted that done for him.

So, it’s kind of a surprise to enter Chuuya’s apartment and ask where her brother is and where
Atsushi is, only to be directed to the spare room. She figured Akutagawa would give up the bed for
Atsushi while he’s recovering — Yosano is scary — but she also figured that Akutagawa would
vacate the room entirely.

She’s mighty surprised to find the two of them dead to the world asleep, limbs tangled and not a
grimace in sight.

She heads back to the front and leaves the food on the kitchen counter before bidding Chuuya and
Dazai a good night.

Once Gin leaves, Dazai turns to Chuuya. “What’s going to happen to Akutagawa now that he’s got
a different ability?”

Chuuya shrugs. “He’ll need to be trained in close combat, but he’ll be fine. The weretiger is still a
strong ability, so he’ll still pull his weight okay.”

Dazai hums. “But Mori liked Rashomon.”

Chuuya scoffs. “He’s not getting her without Atsushi and he’s not getting Atsushi, so he can just
learn to accept the tiger.”

“What if he comes for Atsushi for his ability?”

“Didn’t he try that once already? It didn’t exactly pan out, did it?”

Dazai nods. “But what if —”

“Osamu.”

Dazai blinks, startled by the sound of his own name. There isn’t a single thought behind his eyes.

“I’ll handle it.”

“Okay.”

Chuuya nods. “All right. It’s late and we’ve had a very long day. I think it’s time to go to sleep,
don’t you?”

Dazai takes a deep breath before he nods and stands. He reaches for the blanket on the couch he’s
been sleeping on, only for Chuuya to grab his sleeve and tug him away from the couch. “Hm?”

“Come to bed, Dazai.”

“Okay.”

Dazai follows Chuuya to his room and isn’t surprised when Chuuya flops down face first on the
bed, sighing happily before wriggling until he gets to one side, leaving the other open for Dazai.

“Chuuya, you’re going to get cold by dawn.”

“That’s a problem for dawn me, then,” Chuuya grumbles into the pillow, half his words swallowed
up by it.

Dazai smiles to himself and tugs the covers down, ignoring Chuuya’s complaints, and throws it
back over Chuuya. “Better?”

Chuuya hums. Then he lifts his head. “I swear to God, Dazai, if you put a single inch of your cold
skin on me while I’m sleeping, I will throw you in the washing machine.”

“I can’t fit in the washing machine,” Dazai says as he collapses beside Chuuya and day’s events
catch up to his tired and aching body.

“I’ll make you fit.”

But for all Chuuya’s threats and warnings about getting too close, Dazai finds himself falling
asleep to the sound of Chuuya’s heart beating in his ears and Chuuya’s hand in his hair.

And it’s really fucking nice.

Breakfast — or rather, lunch — is quiet. For a while.

“We need to have a very important conversation,” Chuuya says.

Atsushi looks up from the waffles that Chuuya had made for them all. He nods. It’s all well and
good to say that they’ll get used to their new normal, but there are things that need to be said.

“Yes,” Dazai says, nodding from beside Akutagawa. “For instance, Chuuya keeps a pack of cond-
OW!”

Atsushi snickers when both Chuuya and Akutagawa turn to glare at Dazai and Chuuya kicks him
under the table as hard as he can while Akutagawa stomps on Dazai’s foot.

“For your information,” Akutagawa hisses, “I know where he keeps them.”

Chuuya kicks Dazai again, only slightly lighter. “We are not having this discussion now.”

“But we can have it later?” Dazai asks, amused despite probably being unable to feel his legs.

“You are insufferable,” Akutagawa snaps.

“You don’t have to worry,” Atsushi tells Dazai with a sweet, innocent tone that implies he means
Dazai doesn’t need to worry because he has no intention of having sex, but they’re all familiar with
the fact that an innocent tone or expression from Atsushi usually means he’s about to follow it up
with something absolutely unhinged. “We won’t be needing condoms. Lube, however. . .”

“Really?” Chuuya says while Akutagawa looks like he wants to dissolve into the floor. “In front of
my fucking waffles?”

“Is anyone in the mafia looking for someone willing to take an overseas assignment?” Akutagawa
asks Chuuya. “I want to be as far away from that menace as possible.”

“Bold words from the guy who whined when I tried to go to the bathroom when we woke up.”

“I hate all of you,” Chuuya says. “There is a serious conversation that we need to have and you
morons are talking about sex. At the goddamn table.”

“All right, I’m sorry,” Dazai says, raising his hands in surrender. “Chuuya’s right, though. We
can’t let you both go back to work just like that.”

Atsushi shrugs. “I know. But is it really a big deal? Ryuu’s got a decent handle on the tiger and I’m
. . . okay with Rashomon.”

“It’s not about your capabilities in handling your abilities,” Chuuya says. “You’ve both more than
proven that you don’t need to be permanently monitored by Dazai for any accidents. This is about
how things are going to change.”

“The abilities you now have require different skill sets. Akutagawa, you won’t be able to just stand
your ground and let your ability do all the heavy lifting for you. The tiger is not stealthy nor is he
impenetrable armour. You can heal fast, but you can still get hurt. Atsushi, you cannot rush in
bearing sharp teeth and thick skin. You need to learn to hold back and use Rashomon to defend and
attack.”

Chuuya nods. “What happened yesterday evening was incredible, yes, but it was pure instinct. You
cannot rely on that every time. What happens when you have to fight alone? You can’t cover each
other’s blind spots if you’re not fighting the same battles.”

Atsushi and Akutagawa glance at one another across the table.

“How do we do that?” Akutagawa asks. “It took months to learn to fight the way I do. I can’t
unlearn all of that and relearn new styles before someone gets impatient and demands I work for
my keep.”

“You have to,” Dazai says. “But we’ll help.”

Atsushi blinks in surprise when Akutagawa glares at Dazai with a new kind of fierceness. It’s
unfamiliar to Atsushi, even though he’s seen Akutagawa in all stages of rage before.

“You’re not a good teacher,” Akutagawa states.

“Akutagawa, I am aware of what I’ve done to you but I can promise you with utmost certainty that
it will not happen again.”

Atsushi knows more or less what Akutagawa’s lessons with Dazai were like. It made his blood boil
when Akutagawa confessed over a shitty campfire they’d made to heat their shitty dinner that
Dazai had broken Akutagawa down several times with both his words and his hands, but
Akutagawa had kept talking and Atsushi had calmed down.

“Ryuu,” Atsushi says to get his attention, “I think it’s sweet that you’re worried about me, kitten,
but I’m not afraid to punch Dazai in the face and I will if I don’t like what he’s doing.”

Chuuya looks somewhat proud at that.

“He may be older than me but the detective agency doesn’t really do the whole executives and
subordinates thing. Kunikida might even hold Dazai down if I say I’m going to hit him. It’ll be
fine.”

Dazai pouts at Atsushi. “You really mean that?”

Atsushi nods. “You’ve been harassing my boyfriend since last night. I’ve been itching for an
excuse to hit you.”

“Boyfriend,” Chuuya repeats, not oblivious to the way Akutagawa very suddenly announces that
he needs more coffee and beelines for the pot in the kitchen. “You really are a menace.”

“It keeps things interesting,” Atsushi says with a grin. He turns back to Dazai and fixes him with a
firm stare. “I’m not afraid of you, Dazai, nor am I afraid to not meet your expectations at first. I
trust you enough, though, to believe that you know better now.”

Dazai, to his credit, doesn’t look offended at all. He smiles softly at Atsushi. “I am so proud of how
far you’ve come from the boy you were when we first met.”

Atsushi returns the smile. “Thank you.”

“Is he done being an asshole menace?” Akutagawa calls from the kitchen.

“For now,” Atsushi calls back. “I can behave for an hour if you promise to let me watch TV this
evening. On the couch. Out here. I don’t care much for streaming on your laptop.”

“A full sixty minutes,” Akutagawa says, “and you can watch one movie.”

Chuuya sighs, but he doesn’t try to keep the conversation serious.

Atsushi is so glad that he picked a movie he’d already seen before. He’s a little miffed that
Akutagawa isn’t watching it since he’d only chosen it because he wanted Akutagawa to see it too,
but he’s not complaining. He’s got more important things on his mind.

Namely, trying to determine if oxygen is worth not kissing Akutagawa anymore.

He can’t fathom how only a few short months ago, he’d been so upset about a lack of purring that
he’d sulked around the apartment for a full day. It feels like Akutagawa hasn’t stopped purring
since Atsushi finally gave in and stopped pretending like the movie was more important.

Atsushi likes the sound. It’s content and happy and it shoots Atsushi’s ego through the roof.

In the end, the need for air outweighs the need for Akutagawa and he detaches his lips from
Akutagawa’s. That doesn’t seem to deter Akutagawa any, for he finds the rest of Atsushi’s face just
as deserving of his kisses as Atsushi’s lips.

“Love you,” Akutagawa murmurs against Atsushi’s jaw and yeah, Atsushi knew that but hearing it
said aloud is like a thrill of its own.

“Yeah?” Atsushi says softly.

Akutagawa hums, more interested in canvassing Atsushi’s neck than forming words.

“Good. I love you, too.”

“Dunno why you would, but I’m glad.”

Atsushi takes Akutagawa’s face in his hands and lifts his head. “No, none of that, Ryuunosuke.
Don’t do that.”

Akutagawa lifts his gaze from Atsushi’s chin to his eyes. He shimmies down between Atsushi and
the backrest of the couch before rolling Atsushi over him because he doesn’t have any injuries they
need to be careful of and Atsushi can freely rest his weight on Akutagawa.

“You can’t hide from me, Ryuunosuke.”

Akutagawa whines. “Kiss.”

“You’ll get your kiss when you acknowledge that you deserve my love.”

Atsushi thinks the way Akutagawa huffs is kind of adorable. “It’s hard.”

“I know, kitten. I know. But it’s also true.”

“It’s difficult.”

“I know,” Atsushi murmurs and he kisses Akutagawa’s cheek. “I know. It’s okay. You’ll learn in
time.”

Akutagawa squeezes Atsushi’s waist and sighs when Atsushi relaxes. “You are too good to me.”

“You are not good enough to yourself.”

Atsushi offers him a smile and when Akutagawa seeks out another kiss, Atsushi lets him.

Kyoka clears her throat loudly.

Atsushi sighs and shoves Akutagawa off him. It doesn’t work. “I told you to leave.”
“Liar.”

“Excuse me,” Kyoka says, shuffling past them to open the agency office door. “Atsushi and
Akutagawa are making out in the hallway again.”

“Kyoka,” Atsushi whines when Dazai begins to laugh. “That’s mean!”

“You’d think they do enough of that at home,” Dazai says, loudly enough that they all know it’s
meant for Atsushi and Akutagawa to hear.

“I’m going to put vinegar in your soup today,” Atsushi snaps, popping his head in the doorway.

Dazai only snickers when Atsushi’s head is yanked out of view.

“One more,” Akutagawa murmurs, seeking out Atsushi’s lips.

“You said that fifteen minutes ago,” Atsushi says, but he doesn’t exactly make a move to get
away.

Someone else walks into the agency office. “How long have they been at it?” Tanizaki asks.

“Thirty minutes,” Yosano says.

“I hate all of you!” Atsushi calls.

“Get a room!” Kunikida shouts back.

Atsushi pats Akutagawa’s cheek. “Go home, kitten. You have training, remember?”

Akutagawa rolls his eyes. “I’d much rather accompany you.”

“And aggravate Chuuya? Better not.”

“Ugh. Fine. But come home on time today.”

“Yes, baby,” Atsushi says with fond exasperation in his eyes and voice. The shade of pink on
Akutagawa’s face every time Atsushi tests out a new endearment never gets hold. He gives him a
smile. “Go on, get.”

The office is quiet when Atsushi finally enters, plopping down at his desk with a hum.

“Don’t you look satisfied,” Dazai says teasingly.

Atsushi glares at him. “I will throw you head first into a wall.”

Yosano chuckles. “I love this version of you.”

“Me too,” Kyoka says. “Well, when you’re talking to Dazai, that is.”

“Ouch,” Dazai tells Kyoka.

“Dazai never tells us anything,” Yosano says. She folds her hands under her chin and rests her head
on her hands, elbows on either side of her laptop. “What’s it like, dating the mafia?”

Atsushi shoots her a twinkling grin. “Exciting.”

“He’s lying,” Dazai says. “All he does is eat, sleep and make out.”
Atsushi rolls his eyes. “I’m not a couch potato like some people. I help Chuuya cook and clean,
too. Plus, some of us still actually do our work.”

“Oof,” Kenji says.

“Ah, speaking of work!” Dazai drops a folder on Atsushi’s desk. “Fill this report out for me, would
you?”

Kunikida doesn’t tell Dazai to do his own work. Since returning to the agency following the initial
swap and the battle a week ago, Atsushi has had increasingly entertaining results to being asked to
do Dazai’s work, so Kunikida waits to see what happens on this fine Monday.

Atsushi doesn’t turn his head, but looks at the folder out of the corner of his eye. “After what
happened last time?”

Last time, Atsushi had filled the report with absolute garbage and a ten page monologue about
Chuuya’s hair. Fukuzawa hadn’t been very impressed. Ranpo had been very amused.

“I trust you’ve used last week to get it out of your system.”

Atsushi slides the folder in front of him and opens it. He pages through the top few documents and
a photo or two. Then he closes the folder and slides it away from him. Rashomon picks it up and
drops it on Dazai’s desk.

“I have more important things to do,” Atsushi says.

Tanizaki is the only one unable to put a lid on his snicker.

“Oh, like what?”

Atsushi opens one of his own folders and his laptop. He shoots Dazai a threateningly warm smile.
“Getting home right after Chuuya leaves to pick you up.”

“Oh, God, Atsushi, that’s far more than I care to know!”

“Oh, please, don’t act like I didn’t wake up this morning because of your abhorrent screech—”

“Wow, okay!” Dazai throws his coat over Atsushi’s head and laughs — and a nervous laugh from
Dazai is rarer than a four-leafed clover — while absolutely no one pretends like they’re not
watching the spectacle. Atsushi yanks the coat down and grins at Dazai, who continues smiling as
he adds, “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“This is lovely.” Yosano sighs happily. “It was getting a bit boring around here.”

“I need more snacks,” Ranpo says, mostly to himself.

Atsushi smiles at Chuuya. “Hi. Dazai should be released from his sentence soon.”

“Oh, fuck. What did he do this time?”

“Accidentally threw Kenji at Kunikida.”

Chuuya blinks at Atsushi a few times. “I don’t even wanna know. Do not try to cook alone while
I’m gone.”
“I am capable, you know.”

“Oh, I know you’re capable. I just don’t trust you not to forget the salt on purpose.”

Atsushi grins as he opens the apartment door that Chuuya had closed a few seconds before Atsushi
arrived. “See you later, then. Please come home with Dazai in one piece.”

“I’ll certainly try,” Chuuya says as he leaves, offering Atsushi a wave without turning back.

“Ryuu? I’m home.”

There is a whining grunt from the living room and Atsushi isn’t surprised to find Akutagawa laying
on the couch with an ice pack on his forehead.

“What happened?”

“Punched Chuuya in the face so he roundhoused me. With his ability active.”

“I assume this happened during training?”

“Mhm.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I once landed a good hit on Kunikida and he got so surprised, he
threw me into a trash can.”

Akutagawa cracks one eye open. “Like . . . an actual trash can?”

“Mhm. An actual trash can. It was a mortifying experience. He had to call Dazai to help get me
out.”

“You can fit in a trash can?”

“Wh- Dazai can fit in one too!”

“I do not want to know why you know that.”

Atsushi drops his bag on the floor beside the couch and taps Akutagawa’s ankle. He draws his
knees up and, once Atsushi sits, immediately throws his legs over Atsushi’s lap.

“I’m getting better, though.”

Atsushi smiles. “That’s good. I’m proud of you.”

As expected, Akutagawa turns slightly pink.

“You’re gonna melt the ice pack like that, kitten.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Mm, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Fuck off. I hate you.”

“I mean, I’m not opposed to — hey, watch it!”

Akutagawa pouts when he draws his leg back to kick Atsushi, but before he can try, Rashomon
wraps around his ankle and stops him. “It is unfair how easily you wield Rashomon despite only
having her for a little over four months.”

Atsushi sticks his tongue out at Akutagawa as Rashomon brings his leg down and Atsushi leans
over his legs to keep him from trying to kick Atsushi again. “We’re just that compatible, kitten.
That and I enjoy using her to make my life easier.”

Akutagawa sighs. “I do miss that aspect of my old ability.”

“You don’t have to worry. I’ll use her to get things for you for the rest of our lives.”

Atsushi grins when Akutagawa’s face begins to turn red.

“You can’t just say that! You haven’t even taken me out on a single date!”

“Do I really need to?” Atsushi asks, wrinkling his nose. “You stick your tongue down my throat
every morning. Right outside my office.”

“Ew, gross, don’t say it like that.”

“Would you prefer it if I said you like to suck my face?”

Akutagawa groans and covers his face with the ice pack. “Just shut up and read your stupid book.”

Atsushi laughs softly as Rashomon deposits said book in his hand, having fetched it from the
nightstand in their room. “You’re going to freeze your nose like that, kitten.”

“Shut up.”

Atsushi smiles and settles down to read. Chuuya’s books are quite interesting reads.

When Dazai and Chuuya return a good hour later than they usually do, thanks to Dazai’s insistence
that they stay out of the apartment for as long as possible just in case, it’s to the sight of Akutagawa
fast asleep on the couch, an ice pack on the floor near his head and his legs slung over Atsushi —
who is also asleep, but sitting up with a book still in his hands.

Chuuya pulls the book from his hands and bookmarks the page before closing it and setting it
down on the table. He uses his ability on the two of them so he doesn’t have to wake them and
neither he nor Dazai have to carry them to their room.

He shoots Dazai a warning glare. “Touch me before they’re on the bed and we will plan a
gruesome and painful murder for you together.”

Dazai sticks his hands in his pockets and follows behind Chuuya. He sidesteps the three of them
and enters the room first to pull the covers down and set the pillows the way he knows they like
them.

Once they’re both laying on the bed, Dazai pulls the covers up and tucks them both in, smiling
when Atsushi hums softly before reaching for Akutagawa and shuffling closer.

“What?” Chuuya asks after a moment.

“I’m just a little nostalgic, hatrack.”

Chuuya sighs. “You’re a pain, y’know that? Come on. If you behave, I’ll brave your cold hands to
hold you until you fall asleep.”
 Dazai’s eyes light up with almost childlike excitement and he nearly knocks Chuuya over to get to
their own room. When Chuuya gets there, Dazai is already changed and in bed, waiting with a
giddy grin.

He’s so weirdly easy to please.

It’s at least twenty minutes later, long after Chuuya thinks Dazai’s fallen asleep and is beginning to
drift off himself, that Dazai speaks.

“They’re gonna be fine, right?”

Chuuya thinks about snapping at Dazai to go to sleep, but he knows that for all his aloof behaviour,
Dazai genuinely worries about Atsushi and Akutagawa. “They’ll be fine. I’ll keep an eye on Ryuu,
you know that.”

“I know,” Dazai says, clutching the back of Chuuya’s shirt and burying his face against Chuuya’s
shoulder. “Still worried, though.”

“Mm, I know. I’m. . .” Chuuya pauses, wondering if speaking his mind is worth risking the fact
that Dazai’s head might swell to twice its size. It’s fine. “I’m sort of glad this whole thing
happened.”

“Why? Yesterday, you said we turned your apartment into a zoo.”

“I said that because Atsushi was suspended from the lights and Akutagawa was standing on the
table to try and swat at him and you were wheezing on the floor. It looked and sounded like a zoo.
But I like having you idiots around. Livens the place up.”

“Oh.”

“Plus, you’re not trying to act like I’m not important to you anymore. I missed you.”

Dazai hides his face in Chuuya’s shirt. “Shut up, Thumbelina.”

Chuuya laughs softly. “That’s a new one.”

“I’m trying to be creative.”

“Oh? Well, carry on, then.”

Dazai hums. “I missed you, too.”

Chuuya threads his fingers through Dazai’s hair, partly because he likes doing it and partly because
he hopes it lulls Dazai to sleep. He will throw a fit if he has to get one more phone call from
Kunikida about where Dazai is and why he is late. He doesn’t understand why Atsushi won’t just
drag Dazai out of the apartment when he leaves.

But it’s fine. It’s nice. His apartment is more lively with the three of them around. His — their
apartment feels like a home when the four of them are together.

It’s not lonely anymore.

Chapter End Notes

 idk if I like the ending but oh well

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