DIRECTOR'S PITCH

KITCHEN FAILS

BY MAM
 POPPA TOMATO GETS ANGRY, GOES OVER TO THE BABY

TOMATO, AND SMOOSHES HIM... AND SAYS, CATCH UP.

Since my cooking skills consist of and are limited to making coffee and frying eggs, I
could safely say that kitchen fails are my thing.  Throughout my career as an excuse
of a cook, I managed to burn tea and overcook many an omelette. I'm no stranger to
(involuntary) humour in the kitchen, I can make myself laugh while setting the pasta
on fire or I can make myself cry while dicing the onion.

BY MAM
 THE VIGNETTES I WOULD SHOOT

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Warmly lit kitchen, with reddish furniture

contrasting with creamy furniture. Fixed
cameras - one perpendicular on the
blender, the other on top of it. A Before/
After vignette, as suggested in the pics
above. We never see the character's face,
just his hands and torso. He wears an
apron.

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An alternative to this vignette would be

Man's hands rolling the dough, putting it
into the shredder; or the pasta being so
glued to the oven that you can turn it
upside down and they won't fall, as
shown here >

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Or, another idea would be to place the

camera perpendicular on the cooking
stove as water boils the pasta and
accidentally the pasta catches on fire (it
happened to me irl)

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Another veggie we could do is rice; not all

of us cook's helpers know that rice tends
to get oversize when boiled in water. And
we find that out the hard way, as seen in
the pic on the right

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Another favourite of mine is eggplant

exploding in the microwave, that can be filmed
hand held, a vague reflection of the Character
being seen on camera, in front of the
microwave when the eggplant goes boom:
We will film in normal 25 fps speed but could
play a Re Run in slow motion for dramatic and
hilarious purposes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4R_FEiTIeA

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From your list I would also pick the strangely

shaped fruit/ carrot/ potato. Also, the knife,
onion, and the googles (fixed camera,
fluorescent light, minimalist, modern kitch -
wanna be cooking show); Also, another idea
would be camera fixed on top of a chopping
board and two hands entering Shot with a
meat cleaver, ''beheading''a humanly shaped
carrot.

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I would also film these: 9. Opening a big bag of

frozen peas and it explodes everywhere
10. Flicking veg in a wok - Ainsley Harriott style,
only for the handle to snap
11. Filming multiple pans of boiling vege, phone
accidentally drops into one of the pans

- short, jumpy hand held shots with the movile

phone, POV's, everything DIY style, rapid cuts,
different aspect ratios (16:9, 1:1, etc)

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The peas should roll onto the floor like the

cereals in the famous Kill Bill kitchen fight
scene, camera set at a lower angle

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Or we could use some frozen veggies and play

around with them in an attempt to thaw them -
using an electric lighter/ torch; a hair dryer, etc

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In conclusion, I could film any of the situations you

imagined in your Moodboard, but I prefer the more
surprising/ shocking/ exhilarating ones. We will film
them as amateurishly as possible, to give them
authenticity. I suggest filming some of them on mobile
phones directly, for realness. They will have to be short
and snappy. They will feature a character (or body
parts, I don t insist on seeing their faces and reactions
in each and every vignette; some have to be faceless,
whereas could record the surprise on the protagonist's
face

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THANK YOU

BY MAM