10 Fatal Mistakes Leaders Make Which Prevent

Effective Leadership Results and Success

By Mark Hamister
Over the course of my 43-year career I have had the opportunity to see effective
and ineffective behaviors which impact leadership results. Indeed, I have made
many of the mistakes that I talk about in this writing myself and suffered the
consequences. The advantage of hindsight is that you can more clearly see the
impact of those mistakes than one can while making them. As I enter the next
stages of my career, and as I step back and look at our own Company, it seems
appropriate to share what I have learned in hopes that it may help you become a
more effective and respected leader.

Much has been written on “what to do”. And yes, I have written more about what to
do rather than what not to do. This writing will focus on the ten fatal mistakes that
some leaders make and continue to make. These mistakes, I have found, can
hinder your personal ability to lead others.

I have found that the people who you are trying to lead, will tolerate mistakes if you
make them, learn from them and do not repeat them. So, the mistakes themselves
are not fatal. Continuing them can be, however.

Are you secure enough in your own capabilities to step back and learn more about
habits and behaviors which can be destructive (even if not intended)? It is not easy
to be effective, it takes more work to be effective and to avoid otherwise natural
tendencies in this society today that seems to be focused on always blaming
someone else for everything. Personal responsibility is a lost art. However, for
those who find the path to bringing personal responsibility back will be the most
successful.

Do you want to be successful? Do you want to put your head on the pillow every
night feeling good about yourself, your team and your successes? Then I
recommend that you sincerely listen to the advice in this writing.

1. VALUES SHOULD DRIVE EVERYTHING. Values (and not what you value
which are decidedly different) such as honesty, integrity, work ethic,
accountability, respect and trust must be the foundation of everything that
you do. When you step over the line (and we all do occasionally) step back,
 apologize and fix it. People who do not recognize that their reputation,
relative to values, is critical to success are missing the point ---- your values
are critical to your reputation. You can be demanding (but need to be fair),
you can be stubborn (but need to listen) but you can’t regularly throw values
out with the bath water and expect people to follow you. People like to follow
successful people even if it means facing the brutal facts about themselves ---
but they will not follow someone that they know is dishonest. Many leaders
think just because they are the leader that they do not have to live and
breathe values. This is a huge and fatal mistake. Your word must be your
bond. You must remember what you promise.
 

2. EMOTIONAL DRIVEN DECISIONS ARE FATAL. In my humble opinion, one

of the most common fatal mistakes potentially great leaders make is to allow
their emotions to drive decisions, actions and statements. Emotions cloud
judgment. Emotions have the power to “change” facts in your own mind and
make them real. Now, we are all emotional human beings. Those that learn
how to control their emotions usually accomplish much more. Negative
emotions are success killers! Negative emotions lead to conspiracy theories
and feelings. Negative emotions never lead to anything positive in our
relationships with others and are frequently destructive. The more we “heap”
negative emotions over time, the more destructive they become. We either
allow negative emotions to rule or we don’t. It is a choice. Sometimes it may
not feel like a choice --- but it is always a choice. Nothing good can come from
negative emotions in your personal or professional lives, not ever. If you are
upset emotionally, do not make decisions, judge people or even interact with
others if you can. You will only live to regret just about everything you do
when you are emotionally upset. You may also cause irreversible damage to
your relationships. Others do not want you reacting emotionally, period. So,
don’t. In conclusion on this point I ask you one question --- has anything good
ever come from your emotional outbursts, reactions, etc.? So how does your
answer suggest you might listen to the advice here?
 

3. JUDGING PEOPLE IS ALMOST ALWAYS HURTFUL AND NON-

PRODUCTIVE. We are all different people. We have different behavioral
backgrounds (some call it behavioral DNA) that we cannot change. Then we
have those areas where we can learn, grow and change. Learn to accept
others’ differences. Do not insist that others approach things the way you do.
Accept others approaches and thought patterns. Do not judge others
 harshly. When you are mean spirited in your judgements, almost always
nothing good comes from it. Most of all, you will lose respect of others when
you become mean spirited and immoveable in your judgements of others.
Ergo, it eventually hurts you more than the person you are judging. Judging
people from an emotional standpoint will almost always create extreme hurt,
distrust and a loss of respect. Relationships suffer most when you judge
others form an emotional standpoint. Be careful to not judge people outside
your own team. It is hard enough to judge yourself and your immediate team
members. You should focus on obtaining all the facts and knowledge
necessary to judge and evaluate yourself and your immediate team. You will
never have all the facts on people or another person’s teams ---- crossing the
line to judge others is a huge mistake and usually causes unintended
consequences including a loss of “trust” directed at you. Fact is we are all
different people with different behavioral DNA’s that we cannot change.
Accept those differences and try to use them to our collective advantage.
Lastly --- learn to forgive. It is a powerful and effective emotion. The best
leaders and most mature persons learn to forgive no matter what. Why not
call three people today and settle your differences with them and truly and
genuinely forgive them. Then see how good it feels.
 

4. DRAMA IS POISON TO SUCCESS. You have probably met many people who
seem to love drama and may be even stirring up drama about others and
then stepping back while they watch the fighting. These are ill-informed
people who are at their root, destructive. I have never met a person in my life
who shared a story with me where they promoted, encouraged or
participated even slightly in drama or perpetuating drama that resulted in
anything good. Most people who engage in drama are unhappy people. They
are unhappy with their lives, their careers and many people around them.
Mostly they are unhappy with themselves and do not know how to stop the
downward spiral. Let me be clear --- those that promote or encourage drama
are on a downward spiral. Those that listen, follow and/or participate will
only join that person on the downward spiral. Drama is a poison to a
relationship and to a Company. Stop drama at all costs. Those that love
drama do not care about you and may someday turn the drama in your
direction. Those that love drama should never work for us, instead they
should work for the competition so that they hold that Company back and
not us. There is no solution to drama except separation of employment.
Those leaders who do not understand this, do not understand that their first
responsibility as a leader---- is to team.
  

5. FAILURE TO KNOW OR OBTAIN THE FACTS FIRST. Too many leaders

once they achieve their leadership position, do not feel the need to know or
obtain the facts before they react. They think their experience should carry
them. This is a fatal mistake and frequently leads to continual job hopping by
the leader. They are never happy and it is always someone else’s fault. As a
leader, you are responsible for obtaining and remembering the facts that
impact the five or six most important areas of your Company’s success and
mission. If you don’t know the facts, do you expect your people to know
them? You must walk the talk. Without knowing the facts surrounding an
important matter, your decisions will frequently be misguided, will miss the
mark and will not produce results. Have you ever wondered to yourself at
night in front of the mirror after a hard day --- I have a lot of experience, I
know my trade --- but why do successful results elude me? Frequently it is
because you are making decisions without knowing the facts. You must drill
down and know more about the facts than anyone else if you want to be the
most successful leader on your larger team. Armed with facts you will always
be better equipped to make better decisions than those that do not!
 

6. FAILURE TO FACE THE BRUTAL FACTS. None of us are always right. Most
often multiple minds will produce better results than any one mind (i.e.
teamwork). However, one cannot learn, grow and get better at creating
exceptional results if you do not first face the brutality of facts in an open
and honest manner. Face the brutal facts if you want to become more
effective.
 

7. EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL IS A FAILED PHILOSOPHY! We live in a

society that loves to blame someone else for everything. We love to almost
never take responsibility for our actions, results and outcomes. I am sure you
have met or worked with people who always blame someone else for their
mistakes and their “bad luck.” Well I have news for you. In my humble
opinion, there is no truth to the saying “bad luck.” There is only the luck that
you drive (good or bad) based upon your personal responsibility for yourself
and what happens to you. ELOC as it is called (external locus of control)
allows the person to feel like they are escaping responsibility in this society of
instant messaging and no real self-responsibility. When you think of the most
successful people you admire --- do you see them blaming others (even when
 it might be deserved) --- no you don’t. Great leaders and great people always
look at what they could have done better, how they could have approached
the situation better, how they could have been less judgmental, how they
could have been more accepting of our differences as human beings. Even if
the other person is fully or partially responsible --- worry about yourself,
what you can do differently and how you can grow.
 

8. DOING THE SAME THING AND EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT. My

definition of insanity (and shared by many other people) is --- continue to do
the same thing that is not working but expect a different result. If what you
are doing is not working or not delivering the needed results --- change what
you are doing and do it a different way. Otherwise you are doomed to repeat
failure. Do you want to repeat your failures? If what you are not doing does
not produce the expected (if not exceptional) results, then you should
approach things differently and thoughtfully.
 

9. TITLES DO NOT CREATE LEADERS. Many people think that when they
finally rise in their careers to achieve a manager or officer title that they have
arrived at being a leader. There is nothing further from the truth! So, if you
have a title, stop thinking that you are a leader. You are a leader of people
only if your genuine intent is to lead people to a successful conclusion. Most
people want to be successful people in their careers and their personal lives.
If they trust you and if they see you as someone who has consistently
achieved success, then they will likely want to follow you. However, you must
be able to lead them to great success. Focus on what will make your business
or the part of your business that you oversee successful. Then lead your
team to that goal line. Be firm, fair and consistent. This is not a popularity
contest. Your goal should not be to be liked. It should be to be respected as
someone who takes their team to a successful conclusion. It is hard stuff. But
it is rewarding.
 

10.BEING SUCCESSFUL IN BUSINESS (OR ON THE JOB) IS NOT A

POPULARITY CONTEST. If your objective with your team is to be popular,
you will likely never achieve your fullest potential and your team will not
either. Remember, people like to be successful more than anything else.
When you are more concerned about being, popular and liked, you will be
hesitant to guide people, help them with the brutal facts, to keep them
accountable and more. Popularity desires are “cancers” to success, especially
team success. As a leader, you must be firm, fair and consistent. Being
popular should never be the goal. Being successful and ultimately respected
should be the only goal. Always forgive your team members for their
mistakes quickly (same day if possible). However, you should remember for
an extended period. If the team member truly learns and does not repeat the
mistake in question, then in the coming months and years you will not need
to address it again. However, if you need to repeatedly address the same
issue (the reason you need to remember) then you have yet another issue to
address.