17/03/2023, 09:57 Ownership

Ownership

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Mohit Agarwal

Registered email id:

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mohit@nova-benefits.com

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What have been your learnings/reflections/experiences since the Honesty

session?

- Being honest with myself, if I can't to anything. I admit it.

- In my work, I'm able to promise better timelines.
- Balance of life which I'm accepting slowly.

Ownership

Ownership

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Write the Helpless story that has had the biggest hold on you in your life

(Later in this prework you will get the chance to rewrite it as an Ownership
story)

- In 2021, I shifted to Bangalore with my best friend. Soon after, he had a relationship with a
colleague at our workplace. They started live-in in the same house where I lived.
- By March 2022, they broke up because it was not working out for them and that colleague & I
fell in love with each other.
- This resulted in the end of my 3 years friendship with my best friend. It is helpless because I
told him after 2 months of me having feelings for his EX.

What emotions do you feel when you told the Helpless story?

- Devasted - Regret - Hopeless

Taking ownership as defined in the Stillwater model means(1 Point)

Accepting blame if I am the one who has made the mistake

Living up to the responsibility that comes with the obligations I take on in life

Focusing on the choices available to me without blaming myself or others or the

circumstances

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Which is Ownership?(1 Point)

They were closed minded

I couldn't communicate my point well

I didn't communicate my point in a way that convinced them

There wasn't enough time to convince them

Which of the following is not Ownership(1 Point)

I have been feeling guilty

He told me that he didn't want to hear what I had to say

I can't stop thinking about her

I sat for the test three times but failed each time

None of the above

Ownership is not self blame

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You have never made any wrong decision in your life.

You have never made any wrong decision in your life

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Which of the following is Ownership(1 Point)

I should have

The mistake I made was

I could have

If I had

None of these are Ownership

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The advantages and disadvantages of Ownership

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See if you can tell the Ownership version of the same Helpless story you told
earlier in this prework.

This is not what happened after the events you narrated. It's telling the
same events from an Ownership lens

Use the template below:

- The choices that I made that contributed to the event...
- The reason I made those choices was because at that stage in my life I
thought...
- The result that was produced...
- What I learned from those results...
- What I would do differently if I faced a similar situation today...

Use the template below:

- I chose that girl over my friend in that situation
- I was in love with her
- My friend was destroyed by my friend
- I learned that in life you will not get everything, you have to choose between people, things,
etc. Make sure that what would you choose would be after thinking and evaluating all possible
outcomes properly.
I ld h t ld th i l th t I l h b tI td thi b fi di

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What can you get when you tell yourself the Ownership story that you can
never get from telling yourself the Helpless story?(1 Point)

Respect

Friends

Higher probability of producing results you want

A feeling of having learned something

Feedback:
People can often get a sense of having learned something from telling the Helpless
story... ex: "I delegated to my team member and my team member screwed up so what
I have learned is you can't trust anybody but yourself"

A sense of self satisfaction

13

Where in your life are you telling the Helpless story just now?

- I have passed it. I still don't talk to my best friend but I have passed the phase. It comes in con

14

What are the subconscious payoffs you are getting?

(Payoffs, as we are defining the term here, refer to things that feel like
benefits at the time, but are not really benefits in the long term, ex: feeling
superior to others)

- Felt Superior because the girl chose me - Intimacy which is not equal to emotions

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What are the risks you would need to be willing to accept if you decided to
take Ownership?

- Letting go of a girl I loved last year

16

What would be possible if you did?

- My best friend would be my best friend right now

Time to take ownership - Creating a Road map for the year

ahead

(Note: If you haven't installed the app, you can get the installation guide in the first video of the app
tutorial playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHVH6buulTJYj7Fb6Yty6JHh76dTUNLNw)

Notice if you find it hard to fill out the Road map page as indicated in the video below

If you do it might indicate that you are either trying to do everything, all at once,
immediately or that you are indefinitely delaying certain long-term goals indefinitely. The
results might be a feeling of being overwhelmed, or of stagnation where all days feel the
same, or even of guilt for not moving forward on things that were important to you at one
point but which you feel you're slowly giving up on.

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Stillwater Notion app - Road map

17

In the Stillwater Notion app, check out the 'Ideal day' page and use it to
reflect on what your ideal day would like so that you can prioritise all the
things in your life that are important to you.

Watch out for the tendency to be unrealistic and also make sure you don't
cut out sleep or relaxation time that you feel doesn't really achieve anything
productive. 

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Please share:

1. Your road map for the year ahead (what will you focus on in different
parts of the year ahead)
2. How you will structure your ideal day (what you will do in different parts
of your normal day)
2. The most important task you need to get done by next week
3. The habit you feel is most important for you to develop

1. Yearly Plan for 2023-24

- Q1: My major goal is to work on my fitness and clarity in my professional life/career
- Q2: Focus on social media presence and financial side
- Q3: Focus on the next steps once I leave my current job, and make more friends - Also,
start my own start-up
- Q4: Start something of my own and focus on building it along with my current job.
2. How you will structure your ideal day
- Wake up at 6: 30 am
- 7 - 8:30 am: Crossfit Training
- 8: 30 - 9 am: Rest
- 9 - 9:30 am: Get ready for office
- 10 am: Reach office
- 11 am: Have a green team
- 12:30 pm: Lunch
- 1 to 2 pm: Walk
- 2 - 4 pm: Focused work
- 4 pm: Drink black coffee
- 4 - 7 pm: All day-to-day work
- 7 pm: Dinner
- 7 to 8 pm: Walk
- 8 to 9 pm: Socialize with friends
- 9 to 10 pm: Talk to my family and long-distance friends
- 10 pm to 10:30 pm: Read a book
- 10:30 pm go to sleep
3. The most important task you need to get done by next week
- Getting my diet plan started
- Making my finance plan for next year
4. The habit you feel is most important for you to develop
C fit t i i t l t 5 ti k

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Optional video

Use the Stillwater Notion app to:

- Identify and pin down your professional and personal to dos (from 0:00 to
6:37)
- Start tracking the important habits you want to internalize (from 6:37 to
9:09)

Stillwater Notion app - To dos and Habit tracker

20

Did you have breakout rooms in your previous live session? *

Yes

No

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This section is only applicable if you had breakout rooms in

your previous session
Breakout rooms can be very challenging environments since they activate a lot of our primal
fears

- the fear of not being respected (I might say something dumb)

- the fear of not being liked (people might think I'm being too intrusive)
- the fear of uncertainty (am I doing it right?)
- the fear of disappointment (this is so uncomfortable and hard.. is it worth it?)

21

What were the behaviours you noticed yourself displaying in the breakout
room exercises?

(both effective and ineffective)

- I was honest with myself that I was not in a position to share my stories with anyone.
- I first time admitted to that.
- Now I feel confident that I can share my life story without any hesitation

22

What leadership behaviours would you like to commit to yourself to

practicing with your team mates in the next breakout room exercise?

- Ownership
- Resilience
- Learning Agility
- Acceptance

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beginning of this form. 

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