FEEL LIKE A TERRIBLE PARENT?

HALT

Are you sometimes convinced that you are a terrible parent?

In her Self-Compassion masterclass, Dr. Carla Naumburg,
parent, author, and clinical social worker, introduces us
to “Sh*tty Parent Syndrome.”

This is the thought, belief, or perception that you

are a sh*tty parent when, in fact, you're not.
Dr. Carla doesn’t believe there is such thing as a terrible
parent. Instead, there are parents who don't have the
information, support, and resources they need to parent
to the best of their abilities.

Consider this example scenario:

You just yelled at your son because he said he had
cleaned his room, but there are still dirty clothes
all over the floor. And then you realize he has
indeed put away all his toys!

Before you beat yourself up about it, offer self-compassion. One

way to do this is to lean into curiosity using the HALT technique.

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 Instead of thinking “I am such a terrible parent,”
Ask yourself, “Why did I just yell? Am I feeling one of these?”

UNGRY: This category includes NGRY: Angry is a stand-in for any

both food and hydration. intense emotion – sad, scared,
anxious, confused, overwhelmed,
Am I drinking enough
etc. Simply identifying and naming
water? When did I the emotion to ourselves can help.
last eat?

What emotions am I
feeling right now?

ONELY: This category includes

feelings of isolation and
disconnection. It can also be our
IRED: In our modern world,
isolating negative thoughts.
most parents are tired.

Am I feeling lonely,
disconnected, or isolated? Am I irritable because
When did I last connect with I didn’t get enough sleep
another adult? Am I really the only last night? Has my day
parent who yells at my kids? been too tiring? When did I
last take a break?

If any of these are true, see if you can rectify the situation.

Grab a snack or a drink. Take a moment to cry, journal, listen to the music etc.
to process difficult feelings. Connect with someone who cares about you. Put
your feet up or take a nap.

And if none of these are possible, extend yourself a lot of self-compassion. Say
to yourself: “Parenting is hard. It doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. I'm not feeling
my best self at the moment. I will bounce back.”

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 HAVING THE RIGHT TOOLS AND SUPPORT
CAN TRANSFORM YOUR PARENTING EXPERIENCE!

Keep the momentum going

by watching the full "Self-
Compassion" masterclass +
locking in access to 81 more
masterclasses + 30 quick-win
tips + live expert calls + more
inside the
AFineParent Academy!

OVER 2000 ACADEMY MEMBERS HAVE DISCOVERED HOW TO BE CALM AND CONFIDENT
PARENTS WITH OUR PROVEN STRATEGIES AND EXPERT GUIDANCE. YOU CAN TOO!

Just the few [masterclasses] I I always wanted to be a kind,

have watched [so far] have
helped my family so much! I knew
what I didn't want to do anymore
as a parent and was struggling
with what to do instead. These
masterclasses have been spot on
for who I want to be as a parent.
Thank you so much!
calm, compassionate parent,
but the reality is I have a long
way to go. I appreciate the
masterclasses you have put
together. They have helped
me so much! Thanks for
sharing this goodness, I need
it and our world needs it!

- JEN. C - JANA W.

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