How she knows you love her

John woke up with a huge hangover the day after his company’s yearly Christmas party. He doesn’t
normally drink a lot, but at this particular party the drinks were flowing like never before.

John couldn’t remember how he made it home from the party, everything was a blur. To make things
worse, he felt completely awful, and had no idea whether he’d done something stupid while he was
drunk.

When he eventually managed to pull himself out of bed and open his eyes, he saw a glass of water and
some headache tablets on his bedside table.

Next to the glass of water was a single red rose. John stood up and saw his clothes on a chair in front
of him, neatly folded. He looked around the room and saw that everything was perfectly clean, as if it
had just been tidied up.

He walked around the house and saw that it was the same everywhere – the entire house was clean
and tidy. John took some headache tablets and gasped when he saw himself in the bathroom mirror.

Over one eye was a massive bruise. He also saw a small note on the lower corner of the mirror. The
little note was covered in hearts and he could see that his wife had even left a red lipstick kiss on the
note.

The note said: “Hi sweetie! Breakfast is on the table. I’m going to do some grocery shopping so
I can cook your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”

John stumbled into the kitchen and sure enough, breakfast was there on the table. Scrambled eggs,
freshly brewed coffee and today’s paper lay on the table. John’s son was sitting at the table eating.

John asked: “Son, do you have any idea what happened last night?”

“Yep, you came home at three in the morning, totally drunk. You fell on the hall table and broke
it. Then you threw up all over the floor and ran into a door. That’s probably how you got that
black eye…” his son replied.

Confused, John asked his son: ”OK… So why is everything so clean and tidy here. I have a
rose upstairs, breakfast on the table and your mom is out buying dinner?”

His son replied: “Oh yeah, that… when mom took you up to bed and started undressing you,
you yelled out ‘Leave me alone, I’m a married man!!’”

Puppies for sale

  A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read "Puppies For Sale."  Signs like that have
a way of attracting small children, and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner's
sign.  "How much are you going to sell the puppies for?"  he asked.
  The store owner replied, "Anywhere from $30 to $50."
  The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change.  "I have $2.37," he said.  "Can I
please look at them?"
  The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of
his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur.  One puppy was lagging considerably behind.
Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, "What's wrong with that
little dog?"
  The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered
it didn't have a hip socket.  It would always limp.  It would always lame.  The little boy became
excited.  "That is the little puppy that I want to buy."
  The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog.  If you really wanthim, I'll just
give him to you."
  The little boy got quite upset.  He looked straight into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger,
and said, "I don't want you to give him to me.  That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the
other dogs and I'll pay full price.  In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50cents a month until I have
him paid for."
  The store owner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog.  He is never going to be
able to urn and jump and play with you like the other puppies."
  To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled
left leg supported by a big metal brace.  He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, "Well, I
don't run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!" 

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder

A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams, loses
control of the car, nearly hits a bus, goes up on the footpath, and stops centimeters from a shop
window.
For a second, everything goes quiet in the cab, then the driver says, "Look mate, don't ever do that
again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologizes and says, "I didn't realize that
a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replies, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is
my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Life is short

“This is your life. Do what you want and do it often.

If you don't like something, change it.
If you don't like your job, quit.
If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing
things you love.
Stop over-analysing, life is simple.
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Life is simple.
Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them.
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating.
Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.”

Watch your thoughts

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions;
watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch
your character, it becomes your destiny.”
 Love and time

Once upon a time, there was an island

where all the feelings lived:
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge,
and all of the others, including Love.
One day it was announced to the feelings that
the island would sink!
So all constructed boats and left.
Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed.
Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk,
Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat.
Love said,”Richness, can you take me with you?”
Richness answered, “No, I cant.
There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat.
There is no place here for you.
“Love decided to ask Vanity
who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel.
“Vanity, please help me!”
“I cant help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,
” Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked,
“Sadness, let me go with you.””Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that
I need to be by myself!”,
Happiness passed by Love, too,
but she was so happy that
she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.”
It was an elder. So blessed And overjoyed,
Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.
When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way.
Realizing how much was owed to the elder,
Love asked Knowledge another elder, “Who Helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered.
“Time?” asked Love. But why did time help me?
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,
“Because only Time is capable of understanding
how valuable Love is.

Bad day

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to
me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?”, he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying.”
“This is the worst day of my life,” I say. “I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my
boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any
insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my
dog bit me.”

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule
in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But
enough about me, how’s your day going?”