OPT OUT AND TAKE CONTROL

DRAMA TRIANGLE
WORKBOOK
Shift the dynamics from drama to empowerment

OPT OUT OF DRAMA TRIANGLE WHAT'S INSIDE

1 - Three roles in drama

Provoked by a personal conflict, the dysfunctional drama
triangle
arises from latching on to one of the roles of the drama
triangle that binds us in a co-dependency trap - victim, 2 - Quiz to identify your
persecutor, rescuer. prominent role

3 - Worksheet to
This workbook provides step-by-step guidance with
recognise patterns
instructions and worksheets to help you identify your
prominent role in the drama triangle, recognise patterns of 4. Steps to opt out of
this behaviour and then enable you to consciously opt out of drama triangle
it.
 #1 3 ROLES IN DRAMA TRIANGLE

Learn about the 3 roles in the drama triangle to put this workbook to practice.

VICTIM - "THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME"

People playing a victim role consider themselves “at
the effect of” a person or situation. The belief that
someone or something else beyond their control is
responsible for their situation prevents them from
taking responsibility for their own condition and
deny the power to change their circumstances. The
feeling of being victimised by a person or a
situation builds an external dependency beyond
their reach

PERSECUTOR - "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT"

A persecutor or a villain has a tendency to control, blame and
threaten others while living with a false sense of superiority.
They put on a grandiose act in an attempt to hide their fear
of failure and get defensive when things do not work out the
way they anticipated. They seek rescue by pinpointing
problems and directing others as the primary cause of those
problems. The validation of their beliefs come from seeking a
victim to hold accountable for their problems and trying to
manipulate them in working their way

RESCUER - "I NEED TO SAVE OTHERS"

A rescuer establishes their own sense of well being through
others. They feel good and worthwhile about themselves by
helping others and in the process neglect their own needs. The
mindset that drives their action is not one of genuine care for
others, but rather a desire to feel good about themselves by
being in the act. They thrive on victims by validating their
perspective and reconfirming and reaffirming their state. As a
result, they promote dependency instead of empowering the
victim and helping them to take responsibility for themselves

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IDENTIFY YOUR PROMINENT ROLE IN THE DRAMA TRIANGLE
#2 PRINT THIS SHEET

Assign a score to each of these statements as they apply to you:

Score 0: You can’t relate to it

Score 1: You can somewhat identify yourself with it
Score 2: It defines you strongly

No. Statements Score

1 Others are at fault for not doing the right thing

2 I actively look for opportunities to help those in need

3 My situation is beyond my control

4 Bad things just happen to me

5 I go out of my way to fix others problems

6 I have strong beliefs about how certain things should be done

7 I get irritated when things don’t go my way

8 Other situations and circumstances force me to behave in certain ways

9 I worry about others while brushing my own problems aside

10 I feel responsible for people around me

11 I cannot fix my own problems

12 I am always right

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 PRINT THIS SHEET

No. Statements Score

13 I am not capable of making my own decisions

14 I understand that some people can’t help themselves and need my support

15 I feel good when helping others

16 I need someone to unblock me to move forward

17 I feel helpless as well as hopeless

18 I have to push others to get things moving

19 Others find me considerate, compassionate and self sacrificing

20 I believe some people are reckless, stupid, lazy and incompetent

21 I feel people don’t care about me

22 People tell me that I criticize a lot

23 I feel guilty to see people suffer

24 My problems are small compared to others

25 I feel angry at others for not doing their job

26 I sometimes work extra hard to help those who are struggling

27 I have to live with how things turned out

28 I find myself blaming others quite often

29 I feel ashamed of myself

30 I judge others harshly

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IDENTIFY YOUR PROMINENT ROLE IN THE DRAMA TRIANGLE
REFERENCE SHEET

Take a note of the role in the drama triangle for each of these statements. Refer this
sheet only after filling your scores on pages 3-4 above.

No. Statements Role

1 Others are at fault for not doing the right thing Persecutor

2 I actively look for opportunities to help those in need

Rescuer

3 My situation is beyond my control

Victim

4 Victim
Bad things just happen to me

5 I go out of my way to fix others problems

Rescuer

6 Persecutor
I have strong beliefs about how certain things should be done

7 I get irritated when things don’t go my way

Persecutor

8 Victim
Other situations and circumstances force me to behave in certain ways

9 I worry about others while brushing my own problems aside

Rescuer

10 I feel responsible for people around me

Rescuer

11 Victim
I cannot fix my own problems

12 I am always right
Persecutor

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 REFERENCE SHEET

No. Statements Role

13 I am not capable of making my own decisions

Victim

14 I understand that some people can’t help themselves and need my support
Rescuer

15 I feel good when helping others Rescuer

16 I need someone to unblock me to move forward

Victim

17 I feel helpless as well as hopeless

Victim

18 Persecutor
I have to push others to get things moving

19 Others find me considerate, compassionate and self sacrificing

Rescuer

20 I believe some people are reckless, stupid, lazy and incompetent

Persecutor

21 I feel people don’t care about me

Victim

22 People tell me that I criticize a lot

Persecutor

23 I feel guilty to see people suffer

Rescuer

24 My problems are small compared to others

Rescuer

25 I feel angry at others for not doing their job

Persecutor

26 I sometimes work extra hard to help those who are struggling

Rescuer

27 I have to live with how things turned out

Victim

28 I find myself blaming others quite often Persecutor

29 I feel ashamed of myself

Victim

30 I judge others harshly Persecutor

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IDENTIFY YOUR PROMINENT ROLE IN THE DRAMA TRIANGLE
ADD YOUR SCORES

Use the reference sheets from pages 5-6 above to find the role in the drama triangle
for each of the statements and add up your total scores

Score 0-6: This isn’t your prominent role

Score 7-12: You sometimes play this role (Secondary Role)
Score 13-20: You adopt this role most of the times (Primary Role)

Role Victim Persecutor Rescuer

Score

My prominent role in the drama triangle is

My secondary role in the drama triangle is

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 #3 RECOGNISE PATTERNS
HOW-TO

Note down specific situations in which you adopt a role in the drama triangle to
identify these patterns of behaviour.

To do this exercise, follow these steps:

1. Block 15 mins daily
2. Reflect back on all emotional moments from the day, anything that caused
feelings of anger, sadness, confusion, fear, loneliness, powerless, rage
3. Play out the conversation in your mind and identify the role you see yourself
playing. What did you do and how did you react in the moment
4. Take a pause, replay the scenario and ensure you see yourself playing the role
you noticed earlier
5. Take a mental note of what’s happening around you in that moment - who’s
there with you, what role do they adopt, what specific situation is causing you to
take on this role
6. Capture this information in the sheet below on pages 9-10
7. Do this exercise for 2 weeks or more to identify patterns in your behaviour that
makes you adopt a role in the drama triangle

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 RECOGNISE PATTERNS
PRINT THIS SHEET

Capture daily for every instance where you latched onto the drama triangle to
resolve the conflict within yourself or with others

Date/ Who's with

Describe your situation How did you feel Role adopted
Time you

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 PRINT THIS SHEET

Date/ Who's with

Describe your situation How did you feel Role adopted
Time you

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 RECOGNISE PATTERNS
LIST THEM

Once you have enough data collected in sheets on pages 9-10 and patterns of
behaviour start to emerge, take a note of these patterns below

I adopt role in the drama triangle when

I adopt role in the drama triangle when

I adopt role in the drama triangle when

I adopt role in the drama triangle when

I adopt role in the drama triangle when

I adopt role in the drama triangle when

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 #4 CONSCIOSULY WITHDRAW

DRAMA TO EMPOWERMENT

To consciously withdraw from taking on a role in the drama triangle, locate yourself
the next time you fall into one of these patterns, take a deep breath, pause and fight
against every cell in your body tempting you to act on the first thought that comes to
mind.

You may not be able to do it the first few times, but continue to question your
thoughts instead of letting your subconscious guide your actions. Don’t give up.

After a few attempts, you will feel powerful and in charge of your own thoughts and
shift from reflexive to more deliberate thinking.

For each role that you adopt in the drama triangle, shift from drama to
empowerment by following practices on pages 13-16.

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 CONSCIOSULY WITHDRAW

VICTIM TO CREATOR

Move from victim attitude “I need help” to one of a creator “I believe in myself and
can take responsibility for my own experience”.

Change your orientation by consciously shifting your mindset from the problem to the
outcome you desire by following these steps:

1.WRITE DOWN YOUR GOAL

List your top goal that you wish to achieve.

My top goal that I wish to achieve is

2. IDENTIFY YOUR ROADBLOCKS

Inquire deeply on what prevents you from achieving this goal. Be specific while
identifying these roadblocks and write them down.

Roadblocks

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 CONSCIOSULY WITHDRAW

VICTIM TO CREATOR

3. PLAN TO ACHIEVE THESE GOALS YOURSELF

Take your goal and roadblocks into account and identify how you can achieve this
goal while overcoming your roadblocks.

Break down what you wish you achieve into small tasks and start creating a plan by
capturing the details below.

Don’t go overboard. Start with a day or two and as you make progress, add more
tasks to your plan. Be consistent and continue to invest daily even if for a small
duration of time. Slowly, you will build the momentum and tasks that were daunting
at first will become effortless.

Date Tasks Details

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 CONSCIOSULY WITHDRAW

PERSECUTOR TO CHALLENGER

Move from persecutor “blaming others” to a challenger “being assertive”.

Learn to take responsibility and accountability for your situation by taking things
under your own control and challenge others to do the same.

Shift from blame to improving communication and collaboration by asking these

questions:
1. I don’t know the whole story. What am I missing
2. What information can I gather to know more about the other person and their
situation
3. How can we collaborate together to achieve better outcomes
4. How can I express my viewpoint without intimidating others
5. What did I miss to communicate that might have lead to this outcome
6. How can I empower others to make independent decisions
7. What changes do we need to build accountability in others
8. How can I make it safe for others to express their viewpoint without fear of
reprisal
9. What can we learn from our mistakes

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 CONSCIOSULY WITHDRAW

RESCUER TO COACH

Move from rescuer "creating dependency" to acting as a coach "enabling self

responsibility"

Step1:
Accept that your work is not selfless. It does more harm than good to others and it’s
damaging to your own self.

Step2:
Adopt a coaching mindset by believing that people can take care of their own. Say it
out loud "People are capable of solving their own problems. I will be useful by
enabling them to find their own solutions as opposed to be the one providing it"

Step3:
When guiding others to take responsibility, ask these questions:
1. What's preventing you from solving this problem
2. What solutions have you tried
3. What more can you do
4. What information do you need to move forward
5. Why do you feel this way and what can you do to change it
6. What other alternatives are possible
7. What might you be missing

By showing your trust and support, you can enable them to be the creator of their
own life as opposed to adopting a victim mindset.

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