CollegeAdvisor 60FreeEssayExamples EBook

TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION TO COLLEGE ESSAYS 5

What is a college essay? 5
Why do college essays matter in the admissions process? 5
Characteristics of Good College Essays 5
THE COMMON APP ESSAY 6
Intro to Common App Essay 7
Common App Essay Example #1 - Finn 8
Common App Essay Example #2 - Elinor 9
Common App Essay Example #3 - Arham 10
Common App Essay Example #4 - Jacqueline 12
Common App Essay Example #5 - Abbie 14
BEYOND THE COMMON APP ESSAY 16
‘Why this college’ Essay 16
Questions to consider 16
‘Why this major’ Essay Examples 16
Unconventional College Essay Topics 16
SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAYS ESSAY EXAMPLES 17
COLUMBIA SHORT RESPONSE ESSAYS 18
Columbia Short Essay #1 19
Columbia Essay #1 23
Columbia Essay #2 25
NEW YORK UNIVERSITY ESSAYS 27
Why NYU Essay 28
UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO ESSAYS 30
Why UChicago Essay 31
University of Chicago Unconventional Essay 34
Essay Example 1 34
Essay Example 2 35
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN ESSAYS 38
University of Michigan Why School & Why Major Essay 39
UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA ESSAYS 42
UPenn Why Major Essay Examples 43
UPenn Essay Example #2 50
JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY ESSAYS 52
GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY ESSAYS 55
Essay Example #1 56
Essay Example #2 57
Essay Example #3 58
Why Georgetown Essay 59
CORNELL UNIVERSITY ESSAYS 61
Cornell Why Major Essay 62
Cornell Why School Essay 64
STANFORD UNIVERSITY ESSAYS 66
Stanford Short Response Essays 67
Stanford Essay #1 71
Stanford Unconventional Essay: The Roomate Essay 72
CARNEGIE MELLON ESSAYS 75
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA PERSONAL INSIGHT QUESTIONS 79
What are the UC Personal Insight Questions? 80
How Many UC Essays are Required? 80
How Long is Each UC Essay? 80
Which UC Essay Should I Write? 80
UC PERSONAL INSIGHT QUESTION EXAMPLES 80
Example 1 80
Example 2 81
Example 3 82
Example 4 83
COLLEGE ESSAY FAQ 84
4
INTRODUCTION TO
COLLEGE ESSAYS
The college essay is one of the most important parts of the
college admissions process—and it’s also one of the hardest
to complete. If you’re struggling to find the right college essay
topics, you’re not alone.
In this guide, we’ll walk you through 60+ sample college essays
to help you jumpstart your writing process. But before we dive
into our sample college essays, let’s start with some basics.
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What is a college essay?
A college essay is a piece of writing that responds to a given prompt, either on the Common
or Coalition Application or on a school’s individual application. College essays can range from
50 to 800 words.
There are two main types of college essays: personal statements and supplemental essays. In
general, you will write one personal statement (often the Common App essay) and submit it
to every school where you apply.
Why do college essays matter in the admissions process?
Your college essays reflect parts of your identity that aren’t made clear from the rest of your
application. While two students might have similar grades and extracurriculars, they won’t
have the same college essays. That means that your college essays can make you stand out
from the crowd.
Characteristics of the Best College Essays
So, what are the common characteristics of strong college essays?
1. They tell a story. The best personal statements follow a narrative structure. Think about
your life and experiences. Do you have any stories that reveal something critical to who
you are?
2. They teach the admissions team something new. Your college essays shouldn’t just
restate your resume and accolades. Instead, they should show the reader who you are.
The best college essays will reveal something new or unexpected about the writer.
3. They show your writing skills. Strong college essays don’t appear overnight. Draft,
rewrite, edit, and proofread all of your essays. Make sure your sentences flow, and avoid
any typos.
HOW COLLEGEADVISOR.COM CAN HELP

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every aspect of their college applications.
Our experts will help you brainstorm, draft, and edit your essays so they stand out to
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within 24 hours so you never feel alone in your writing process.
6
THE COMMON
APP ESSAY
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Now that you understand what college essays are and how they work, let’s dig into some
essay examples.
We’ll start with the Common App essay, which you’ll likely submit to every school where you
apply. Your Common App essay will respond to one of seven prompts. While these prompts
are largely consistent between years, you should always check the Common App website for
the most up-to-date information.
The Common App essay prompts for 2022-2023 include:
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they
believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please
share your story.
2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success.
Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and
what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted
your thinking? What was the outcome?
4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful
in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth
and a new understanding of yourself or others.
6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track
of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn
more?
7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that
responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
As you can see, the Common App essay prompts are relatively general. This means you have
a lot of room to be creative and share your identity.
You can approach this essay in a wide variety of ways. Above all, make sure that your
Common App essay authentically reflects your values and character. Your reader should
come away from your essay feeling like they understand you.
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Common App Essay Example #1 - Finn

“Look Jamie I can fly” I yell out. Instantly, I plunge through the ice, kicking and
thrashing, trying to find my way to the surface.
The audience gasps.
These are among the opening lines to Ron Palillo’s play, The Lost Boy. I played Davey
Barrie, the brother of Jamie Barrie, who wrote the original Peter Pan––a character I also
portray. In addition to acting two main roles, I was also crucial behind scenes, organizing the
lighting. The audience felt chaos in that scene, and as much as I would have liked to think my
acting was producing that tension, without my lighting, I would have looked like a flailing cod.
The lighting was a spinning, strobing water pattern, alternating between deep sapphire and
brilliant white. No matter how technically one analyzed the lights on stage, it was impossible
to ignore the dangerous waters they conjured up.
I kind of fell into stage lighting my freshman year in high school. The theatre director
put out a call for anyone wanting to learn a new light board; I was the only person who
showed up. At the beginning, learning was slow. I had a programming background, but this
was learning a whole new language in a week. Despite the difficulty, I kept going because
it was fun–every time I touched the light board, I felt an indescribable spark of life, which,
developed into a passion, as I delved more into what lighting took, and what lighting could do.
Through teaching myself the brilliance of stage lighting, I learned that the magic of
lighting comes from subtlety. No audience member should leave the show whistling the
lighting; my job is to affect the theatre experience in a way no one consciously notices.
Through careful placement of fixtures, calculated use of color and angle, I can invisibly
control the feeling of a scene. The slightest yellow can switch a scene from grimy to majestic
Sahara plains á la Lion King. A blended 45 degree uplight creates a more natural look on the
face, but if yellow comes directly up on its own, it makes a face look eerily disfigured.
Beyond the individual image, lighting the entire stage is equally important. Working at
the American Repertoire Theatre this summer, I saw professional lighting designers work. I
was star struck. Bradley King used an evocative combination of blue and yellow backlight to
create an air of naïve freshness and endless freedom that defined the main character who
had just left Pittsburgh to find a new life in New York.
Four time Tony award winner, Kevin Adams had the tough job of lighting two men just
sitting in seats for the entire show. He backlit the actors in violet while the scene was neon
green, using contrast to set a well-defined foreground and background. The contrast made
the scene far more interesting than two old men sitting in chairs.
I look at the stage and I see the shapes and colors compose themselves. The sight is
simply impressionistic, but the composure is highly specific. It is very formulaic, even though
it is affective toward the audience’s experience. I see the colors and shapes compose
themselves, moving into the scene to create the right mood, and I take that and break it down
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into its components: a pastel blue frontlight, a deep blue wash, and a bright white backlight.
But I create the impression of a furtive midnight conversation.
Adams and King are my heroes, and, like them, I want to bring nuanced shades of
meaning to what exists but isn’t apparent. Theatre could be my medium, but every career
has a stage, and I can imagine a life in math or business or zoology. But next, I will light my
school’s fall production, Big Fish, adding the colors of struggle, mystery, and a starry night.
And when the audience sees my starry night, I want to hear them gasp.
Common App Essay Example #2 - Elinor

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from
childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
One hundred and fifty bagels, all completely frozen. I couldn’t believe it. My school’s
Model UN Conference was to start in thirty minutes, and breakfast for the delegates was
nowhere near ready. I looked with dismay at my friends’ concerned faces peering out
from behind piles of frozen bagels. As Secretary-General, it was my job to ensure that this
conference went smoothly. However, it seemed that was not going to be the case. I took
a moment to weigh my options before instructing Rachael, our “logistics coordinator,” to
heat up the frozen circles of doom in the home-ec room. I knew Rachael enjoyed baking, so I
trusted her to find a way into the locked room and thaw the assortment of bagels.
Cold bagels were not the only thing weighing heavily on my mind that morning. As
I walked from classroom to classroom helping set up committees, I couldn’t help but feel
nervous. Our conference wasn’t going to be like those of the private schools- there were
no engraved pens or stylish water bottles. Instead, people got post-it notes and whatever
pens we could steal from the supply closet. Forcing myself to stop worrying, I chose instead
to think of why we made that choice. Since most of the food was donated, and all of the
supplies had been “borrowed” from the supply closet, we could afford to charge only a
nominal fee to everyone attending. Making Model UN accessible was one of my top priorities
as Secretary-General; the same desire motivated me to begin including middle school
students in the club. I hurried back down to the cafeteria, and was relieved to see that all the
bagels looked warm and ready to eat.
The bagels would not be the sole crisis that day. As debates were about to start, one of
the Chairs sent me a panic stricken text: “We only have 5 people in our committee! We can’t
reenact the creation of the Treaty of Versailles!” I hurried to where his debate was taking
place, and sure enough, only five people were there. I quickly considered my options- cancel
the committee? Convince some delegates to switch into this debate though bagel bribery?
Or maybe, come up with a completely new topic?
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I settled on idea number three. But what topic could a committee of only five people
spend a day discussing? I mulled it over until an idea began to form. I explained to the room,
“Each one of you will represent one of the five major Democratic and Republican presidential
candidates. The chair will guide you as you tweet, make campaign videos, and debate
the most important political issues.” I spent a few minutes figuring out how to go about
moderating such an unconventional committee, before heading off to check in on the other
debates.
As I walked from committee to committee, fixing problems and helping move debates
along, I felt a sense of pride. I had spent months working on this conference, along with the
other members of my team. At times, I worried I could never pull it off. A part of me had
wished our faculty advisor would just organize the whole thing for us. After all, I’m just a high
schooler, how could I put together such a big event? But as the day went by, I realized that
with the help of my peers, I had done it. All the little crises that cropped up weren’t because
I was doing a bad job; they were inevitable. The fact that I could find solutions to such a wide
variety of problems was a testament to my leadership skills, and my level-headedness. I didn’t
just feel like a leader—I felt like an adult. As I look towards my future in college and later the
workforce, I know that I can succeed, even if my obstacles seem as insurmountable as a
mountain of frozen bagels.
Common App Essay Example #3 - Arham

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they
share your story.
An hour into President Obama’s inauguration, I stifled a yawn and raised my hand. “Ms.
Edgell, who did you vote for?”
Instantly, nineteen fifth-graders shattered the silence: “Of course she voted Republican!”
“No, she’s a Democrat!” “Obama was born in Kenya!”

“Don’t ask people about their politics,” she chided.
“So . . . you’re a Republican!”
“Arham. Outside.”
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As Ms. Edgell fruitlessly tried to explain that politics didn’t belong in the classroom, I struggled
to suppress a smile--I couldn’t help it. For a few moments, fifth grade’s single-variable
algebra and spelling tests had been replaced by a more intriguing conversation: one without
a definitive answer. Snippets of boisterous debate continued to drift through the closed
door, and I was eager to rejoin the conversation--that day, I learned disagreements were
fascinating.
Eager to understand the “why” of each and every belief, I turned to my living room: a
constant cacophony of political commentary, occasionally punctuated by my father’s
frustrated jabs at the pause button and exasperated interjections. In my quest to decipher the
cryptic nightly news, my parents became my personal dictionary, fielding a nightly barrage
of questions. Forget just explaining where babies come from--over the next four years, I
asked them to articulate almost every conceivable stance on gun control, abortion, and the
death penalty. Through that television screen, I first encountered the full diversity of human
opinions, and I was enthralled; I wanted to triumph in every dispute.
Dodging my parents’ dinnertime queries of how my day went, I delved into new lines of
questioning: the viability of Medicare for All, the feasibility of 100% green energy, the merits
of chicken tikka masala mac & cheese fusion. After watching the 2016 Presidential Debate,
I spent hours pondering the economic consequences of a more cohesive border--sadly, the
living room walls didn’t offer much feedback on my ideas. Soon, I realized that some of my
“solutions” were a bit near-sighted; eliminating poverty by printing money wasn’t exactly the
modern-day Wealth of Nations, and the solution to global warming was a tad more nuanced
than planting trees. I learned that I wouldn’t always be right--instead, the desire to win was
slowly replaced by a yearning to understand. With every discussion, I synthesized new
information, pinpointed gaps in my knowledge, and reevaluated my views; then, aided by the
latest edition of The Economist and a plethora of Google searches, I’d unearth the next set of
questions.
Late nights in my living room have defined a lifelong passion: using disagreements as a lens
to explore, understand, and influence the world. In Congressman DeSaulnier’s office--where
interns were instructed to hang up on adversarial callers--I instead found myself engrossed
in half-hour conversations with frustrated constituents. There, I delved beneath the partisan
rhetoric to truly understand why people support a wall, desire nationalized healthcare, or
champion coal--and, in return, I offered a bit of my own worldview. On elevators, I’ve been
known to strike conversation on the whimsical (Should gyms offer a package where you
pay for every day you don’t go?); overseas, I invite teams from Germany, Singapore, and
Mexico to opine on whether or not Amazon should be considered a monopoly. Whether it’s
discussing capitalism or everyday life, the resulting conversations shed light on our culture,
upbringing, and aspirations--the willingness to disagree is what builds rapport. In recognition
of that, I beckon for dialogue; I constantly invite the world to teach me more.
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In fifth grade, I learned that we fear disagreement--feigning unity will always be more
comfortable. But, through ignoring each other’s most fundamental beliefs, we simultaneously
abandon our ability to understand our peers. In my living room, disagreements provided
a venue for questioning and navigating a world of conflicting perspectives: though I didn’t
know it at the time, they set the stage for a lifetime of questioning. So, be it in the classroom,
through a phone call, or on stage, I continue to raise my hand.
Common App Essay Example #4 - Jacqueline

share your story.
All my life I have been drawn to ducks. Over the past 17 years, I have amassed a
collection of over sixty rubber duckies, occupying three shelves of my closet, varying in
sizes, colors, and designs, all pieces of their unique identities. When I glimpse at the Queen
Elizabeth duck in her purple dress or the Rock Star duck with his red mohawk, I can’t help but
wonder what kind of duck I would be.
During middle school, I’d have quickly responded: a computer duck! For several years
my singular focus was on robotics. This wasn’t because computer science was my one true
passion, but more because I felt pressure to answer widespread calls for “more women in
STEM”. As the lead coder on my team, I was proud when we excelled in the Robot Game at
Legoland’s Semi Regional Competition, and although my hard work paid off, I was dissatisfied.
I enjoyed advocating for female representation in computer science at city council meetings
and being asked to teach coding workshops for teachers, but I was not my whole self. I’d
tried too hard to mold myself into the person I thought others expected me to be and in
doing so, I lost touch with my other interests.
However, with the pandemic, I had the time and space to think about what I really
valued and reconnect to my inner voice. I began to understand that being singularly focused
on computer science was simply not me. I am passionate about swimming, politics, music,
and mental health advocacy. Any rubber duckie that represents me needs to reflect all these
pieces of me. My multifaceted duck would undoubtedly wear a pair of goggles--swimming
has helped me build my tenacity. Through my years of swimming, I’ve learned that the only
race that matters is my own: self-improvement is the real reward.
My duck would also wear a campaign t-shirt to represent my involvement in over
20 local, state, and national campaigns. Through all of the door-to-door outreach and the
thousands of conversations while phone banking, I’ve learned to discuss uncomfortable,
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controversial topics with ease. I learned to listen first, and speak second. Then, as I started
my internship with Congresswoman Kim, I learned to shift the conversations I had with
constituents. As an intern, there was a new gravity to my work. In helping to process
Afghanistan refugee and Social Security casework, the quality and accuracy of my work
were consequential. Previously, I had relied on adults for guidance, but now they depended
on me. When people called to request emergency evacuation assistance or to track down
their stimulus checks, I was the first voice they heard. Through the process, I developed a
newfound confidence in my ability to give back to members of my community.
My rubber ducky would also have a butterfly perched on her orange bill to represent
the mental health awareness project I started with friends. It began as a way to share mental
wellness strategies I’d developed during quarantine, but it grew into a platform where I could
use my own struggles with burnout and anxiety to help others. Through this I learned I am
not alone during difficult times and that being vulnerable is an asset I can use to advocate for
issues I care about like suicide prevention.
Sure, there is value in “branding” oneself--picking one thing to specialize in--but I’ve
learned that doing so puts me at the risk of losing touch with my whole self. Everyone has a
dynamic personality and a set of interests that makes them unique, but I like to think that just
like me, each duck has a life beyond its branded costume. I have many passions--swimming,
politics, mental health--choosing just one would be a disservice to all the other parts of me.
Ultimately, my goal is to waddle in my own authentic way.
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Common App Essay Example #5 - Abbie

share your story.
“There’s something I’d like to say.”

I look over at Samantha, who sits with her hand raised high in the air. “Wait a minute,
Samantha,” I tell her. “Let’s finish circle time first.”
“It’s really important.”
I sigh. “All right. What would you like to share with the class?”
Samantha takes a deep breath. “Well,” she says. “There is someone in this class who always
encourages me to do my best. Whenever I get stage fright, she tells me that it’s going to be
okay. She’s a really good friend to me, and I care about her a lot. And that person is Eva!”
The class claps for Eva, and I smile. “Thank you, Samantha,” I tell her. “That was very nice.”
I have taught theatre classes to teenagers with Down syndrome for four years. A lot has
changed over that time, both for me and for my students. Change began in my second year
as a teacher’s aide, when the class’s founding director was replaced by an older musician
whose talents tended toward the artistic more than the programmatic. Alongside this new
director, I became a leader instead of a smiling aide. I learned that kindness and authority
were not mutually exclusive, and I began to assume greater responsibility. With the director’s
support, I restructured the curriculum and started to run our weekly rehearsals. Three months
later, I was promoted to co-director.
Three semesters and four full-length productions later, one particular thing remains the same:
every Sunday during circle time, Samantha has something she would like to say. And every
time, I let her say it.
Society tends to distill people who have been assigned a medical diagnosis down to a single
trait. My students and their families know this well; they are constantly reminded by the world
that Down syndrome makes them different from everyone else. Based on my experience
teaching, lack of individual recognition limits my students more than they realize. Their
uniqueness becomes obscured by society’s label. They cease to be viewed as people and are
instead viewed as a disease.
For this reason, when I teach my class, I try not to run it as a “theatre class for teenagers with
Down syndrome.” Instead, I run my class as I would run any other theatre production class.
Everyone in the cast has Down syndrome, but that is just one of many things about them. My
students are all individuals with their own strengths: Samantha can memorize fifty lines within
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a week, Derek can belt out any song with confidence, and Sarah can light up the theatre with
her positivity. In my class, I offer my students a place where they are valued as individuals: a
place where they know that someone is listening to them.
Now this is what I want to say. Teaching for the last three years has been an incredible
opportunity. However, with that opportunity comes responsibility that extends beyond the
act of teaching. Every week, when I walk into the theatre, I have to prove myself in a way that
many people co-directing a similar program would not. I am all too familiar with the confused
look that parents new to the program get on their faces when I introduce my seventeen-
year-old self as the teacher in charge. However, when the work is important, you want to
be in charge. I believe in the work that I do, and I believe that I can do it well. Each year, I
am proud to watch once-skeptical parents learn to trust and value me. My students are not
the only people to have grown up in my theatre class. Over my four years of teaching, I
have transformed from aide to director, from greeter to manager, and–to my students–from
acquaintance to mentor. As I go on in life, I will carry these experiences with me.
COMMON APP ESSAY CHECKLIST
As you write your own Common App essay, use the

following checklist to ensure your writing is as strong
as possible. You can also use this checklist to evaluate
our Common App essay examples and understand
why they were successful.
▢ Does my essay start with a “hook” that grabs the

reader’s attention?
▢ Does my essay tell an engaging story?
▢ Does my essay reveal something important about
me that isn’t clear from the rest of my application?
▢ Does my essay topic matter to me?
▢ Does my essay reflect my character and values?
▢ Does my essay use correct grammar and spelling?
▢ Does my essay end with a satisfactory conclusion?
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As you can see from these examples, the best Common App essays will reveal the writer’s
authentic identity. Keep these examples in mind as you craft your own personal statement.
BEYOND THE COMMON APP ESSAY:

SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAY EXAMPLES
These Common App essay examples are not the only personal essay examples we will look
at in this guide. Next, we’ll discuss supplemental college essay examples. These college essay
prompts are unique to the schools that assign them.
Most colleges will have at least one supplemental essay prompt. These can range anywhere
from 50-650 words. Most supplemental essays you write will be significantly shorter than
your Common App essay. However, this doesn’t make them any less important. Many
supplemental essays will follow a similar format
Common supplemental essay prompts include:

• Why do you want to attend [school name]?
• What major or academic field do you hope to pursue and why?
• What books, films, or other forms of media have influenced you and why?
• How have you served your community?
You may be able to repurpose some of your supplemental essays for multiple schools.
However, you should always make sure your supplemental essays reflect the unique offerings
of the school you submit them to. The more detail you can include, the better.
Finally, our college essay examples shouldn’t hold you back. Don’t feel limited to the same or
similar essay topics that you read in our examples. Our examples may help you brainstorm,
but the stories you tell should be uniquely yours.
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SUPPLEMENTAL
ESSAY EXAMPLES
Now, let’s dive into some supplemental essay examples from
advisors and students!
We’ve sorted our essay examples by college. However, keep in
mind that supplemental essay prompts tend to change from year
to year. So, always look at each school’s supplemental essay
prompts for your application cycle before you start writing.
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COLUMBIA SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAYS

As an Ivy League university in Manhattan, Columbia is a top choice school for many students.
In their supplemental essays, the Columbia admissions team wants to learn what you would
add to their bustling campus.
Start your essay process with research. Think about what Columbia offers you and how you
will succeed there. Then, use that research to guide your writing.
Columbia Short Response Essays
Columbia Short Essay #1:

List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words or
less)
Supportive and collaborative (Let’s trauma bond and get through college together!); Tight-
knit and friendly; Accepting; Socially and environmentally-aware; Quirky but also down-
to-earth; Know how to enjoy a good movie/book/tv show marathon; Appreciate the arts,
scientific achievements, and social accomplishments; Be willing to help out a first year being
lost around campus for the first few weeks; Not afraid to stand up for what is right and use
our resources to create a difference in the world.

List the titles of the required readings from courses during the school year or summer that
you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)
AUTHOR 1
Uncle Tom’s Cabin-Harriet Beecher Stowe (APUSH): This book offered me the raw and
emotional look at slavery and showed me the complexities of the US society before the
Civil War.
The Grapes of Wrath-John Steinbeck (APUSH): Another emotional book that offered me a
raw look at how the migrant workers were hurt during the Great Depression. This book along
with Uncle Tom’s Cabin humanize history for me.
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L’Étranger-Albert Camus (AP Lang): Existentialism. Interesting read. It really made me

question life.
AUTHOR 2
Sociologie des pratiques culturelles (Sociology of Cultural Practices) by Philippe Coulangeon
is a required text I particularly appreciated this year. I enjoyed how the novel examines the
principle trends that characterize the evolution of modern cultural practices, as well as the
results of the democratization of culture in modern-day France.
Les Fleurs du Mal (The Flowers of Evil) by Baudelaire is an extremely powerful poetry
collection that I found to be at the same time thought provoking and a pleasure to read.
The poet expresses both his “Spleen,” or his agony, and his Ideal through beautiful and
captivating verses.
I also absolutely loved Don Juan by Moliere, a play written and set in 17th century France
during the reign of Louis XIV. Moliere’s clever mix of the classic and baroque styles was a joy
to read, and the way he uses comedy as a tool to criticize society was brilliant.

List the titles of the books you read for pleasure that you enjoyed most in the past year.
(150 words or less)
AUTHOR 1
Most haunting book: Kindred-Octavia Butler (Like Dana, I rooted for Rufus, hoping he
wouldn’t turn out to be a villainous and selfish enslaver. I was betrayed)
Most emotional book: Thirteen Reasons Why-Jay Asher (This is one of those books that
makes you question your entire life after reading it. It just has the power to make you wonder:
Am I a good person? Have I made a good or bad difference in the lives of others? Highly
recommended)
Best reread of the year: To All the Boys I’d Loved Before-Jenny Han (Three claps for Asian
representation in YA books!)
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Most nostalgic book: The Percy Jackson series-Rick Riordan (Earlier this year, I was at the
Met, where Percy willed his power to push Nancy Bobofit into the water! Bucket list item #14:
checked)
Honorable mentions: The Jungle-Upton Sinclair, The Hate U Give-Angie Thomas, Jurassic
Park-Michael Crichton, and The Sympathizer-Viet Thanh Nguyen.
AUTHOR 2
One novel I read for pleasure that I found gripping and profound is Brave New World by
Huxley. In addition to being a call for freedom during the rise of totalitarian societies, the novel
also addresses philosophical and ethical questions that remain relevant today.
Bel Ami by Maupassant is another novel that spoke to me. This naturalist novel depicts the
journey of the protagonist’s rise to power through manipulation and corruption in late 19th
century France. I enjoyed following how this anti-hero climbs the social ladder from his
humble working-class beginnings to become one of the most powerful men in Paris.
I was inspired by Histoire de l’autre (Story of the Other), a book that presents both the
Israeli and Palestinian points of view on key historical events throughout the conflict. It was
written by six Israeli and six Palestinian history professors, who narrate the same events from
different perspectives.

List the titles of the print, electronic publications and websites you read regularly. (150
words or less)
AUTHOR 1
I get caught up on current events from three main news sites: the Saint Louis Post Dispatch
for the local perspective, the New York Times for the national perspective, and the BBC for
the international perspective. It’s a habit of mine to read about current events from at least 3
perspectives. That way, I know I’m getting the most objective view of the world.
Entertainment news: Buzzfeed and Kenh14 (a Vietnamese newsite)
News not covered by mainstream media but are highly important: Stories on Instagrams,
Facebook, and Reddit.
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AUTHOR 2
I follow the news on BBC (www.bbc.com). BBC gives me a well-rounded view of political,
economic and social events from around the world, with the necessary background
information to understand today’s global issues.
I also use the mobile app News Republic on a daily basis. News Republic provides articles
from over 1,000 trusted news sources, so I can be informed of global issues from multiple
perspectives. Further, I can design my news page to follow the topics I am most interested in.
Another website I follow regularly is Time Out Madrid (www.timeout.com/madrid). It helps me

take full advantage of all the opportunities Madrid has to offer, such as cultural exhibitions,
hidden parks and cafes, concerts, plays and movies. My latest discovery is a list of eleven
original bookshops, where, in addition to finding books, friends and I can have a coffee, enjoy
a concert or listen to a lecture.

List the titles of the films, concerts, shows, exhibits, lectures and other entertainments you
enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)
AUTHOR 1
Musical: Hamilton, Legally Blondes, Miss Saigon (I love the music but hate the historical
inaccuracies as well as the ignorance of Vietnamese culture portrayed in the musical)
Films: Avengers: Endgame, Spiderman: Far from Home, Candy Jar, Lincoln, Us, Get Out.
TV shows: Marvel’s Agents of Shield (My all time favorite show. I learned English watching
Shield in middle school), Goong (amazing soundtracks, jump started my K-drama binge for
the last 2 months, inspired a Viet-styled Goong fanfiction currently in the works), and High
Kick Through the Rooftop (It’s an awesome Korean sitcom. I highly recommend it. Just ignore
the last 6 episodes)
Music: Soundtracks. My current favorite is Dah Ji Mot Han Ma Eum from Goong!
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AUTHOR 2
I saw back-to-back Ionesco’s two classic plays, La cantatrice chauve (The Bald Soprano) and
La leçon (The Lesson), at Le Théâtre de la Huchette in Paris, where they have been playing
non-stop since 1957. It was fascinating to see these plays with the same original mise-en-
scene dating back to the era when they were written.
Additionally, I loved the exhibition Pop Art Myths at the Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum in
Madrid. I enjoyed seeing how this art form developed in the 50s and 60s and its witty critique
of consumerism.
Finally, I was inspired by the documentary Beyond Right and Wrong. It follows the stories
of individuals who lost their loved ones in terrible conflicts from Northern Ireland, the Middle
East and Rwanda, and shows what it took for them to forgive the other side. Their strength
impressed me, and their courageous acts allowed me to observe forgiveness under a
different light.
Columbia Long Response Essays

Please tell us what you value most about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)
AUTHOR 1
I hate the word “common” and avoid being associated with it at all cost. Being called
“Common” is the worst insult possible. It implies that I’m just another face in a sea of faces
and reminds me that not so long ago, in order to blend in with the crowd, I had ignored the
injustices I saw. To me, a common person of a common society is nothing more than a lonely
cog in the machine who is unable and unwilling to protest against the injustices in the society.
Given my hatred of all things common, it’s a surprise to see me apply to Columbia University,
a place famous for its Core Curriculum. However, after October 14, 2019, all my negative
thoughts about the Core Curriculum have vanished. Instead of a group of passive ancient
philosophers in modern vessels molded by the Core, I got to see a vibrant, accepting, and
socially aware group of changemakers on Campus that morning. Columbia students are
powerful individuals who are not hesitant to use their power to demand changes. Exhibit A:
the mini awareness events to demand the recognition of Indegenous People’s Day that I got
to witness. The students made their presence known with posters and chants, demanding for
recognition.
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It was this display of bravery that changed my view of Columbia. Upon closer research, I
can see that the Common Core is not a rigid mold but rather a template for empowerment
by making sure that all students are equipped with the knowledge to lead courageous lives
and be informed citizens. After all, why else would the university has all students learn about
Contemporary Civilization?
Columbia’s Common Core will prepare me to lead a life of courage. Haizz, of course Columbia
would be the place that makes me tolerate the word “common.”
AUTHOR 2
In 2013, I embarked on a whirlwind tour of seventeen American universities. Of all the schools
I visited, Columbia stood out. In addition to stellar academic programs, its emphasis on civic
and global engagement really spoke to me. It is vital for me to attend a college where both
academic rigor and openness to the world are widely promoted.
Perhaps what draws me to Columbia the most is the impact it has had on my sister, Maysa
(Columbia College 2018). I have never seen her happier than she is today, as she talks
about the diversity of the student body, her amazing professors and advisor, and the truly
transformative and eye opening educational experience the Core Curriculum is giving her. Her
experience at Columbia makes me dream of having my very own Lit Hum discussion sessions,
surrounded by a group of passionate Lions.
At Columbia, I would also take advantage of the many enriching clubs and student
organizations. For example, I would like to become a member of the Columbia Model United
Nations Team, one of the most renowned in the United States, and the Peace by PEACE club.
In addition, I would like to join or set up a Club or Intramural Swim Team.
Being at Columbia would also allow me to take advantage of everything New York has to
offer, from acclaimed guest speakers visiting campus to world-class performances and
exhibitions. I believe Columbia is the place where all the aspects of my personality would
thrive. Columbia students and faculty are motivated, active, and inspiring. At Columbia
College, I would grow both academically and socially in an international and openminded
environment. It would be an honor to spend the next four years “in the greatest college, in
the greatest university, in the greatest city in the world.”
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Please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal)
attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member
Questions section. If you are currently, undecided, please write about any field or fields in
which you may have an interest in at this time. (300 words or less)
AUTHOR 1
In seventh grade, a phenomenon exploded at my school: YA stories about a world without
adults. The premise is simple: A strange accident evaporated all the adults, leaving only
young people to inhabit the new world.
Like everyone, I was in love with those stories and enjoyed fantasizing how I would be in
that situation. However, something didn’t sit right with me: Why only the adults? How come
anyone under the age of 16 got to stay? I was desperate for an answer and since I couldn’t
find them in the pre-existing stories, I decided to write my own story with a valid reason for
the disappearance of the adults. After weeks of theorizing and researching, I finally got it.
The story premise was similar: All adults on Earth have been turned into zombies by invading
aliens. Luckily, thanks to a DNA mutation caused by a live virus vaccine that was administered
to all children aged 17 and younger, the young people were spared. Now, they are our
planet’s last hope.
What started as harmless research to satisfy my curiosity quickly developed into a long
lasting fascination with cells and mutations. I marvel at how simple changes in our genetic
codes could have great impact on our bodies. It’s interesting and scary to realize how easy it
is for our DNA to be manipulated by outside factors. Similar to the unforeseen benefit of the
DNA mutation in my story, my research has helped me discover a great passion of mine.
AUTHOR 2
Columbia University offers many fields of study closely aligned with my academic and career
goals.
My Middle Eastern heritage and international background have made me passionate about
social justice, peace, and conflict resolution. I am especially interested in Middle Eastern
international affairs and social problems. The unrest and violence in this region have
repercussions all over the globe. I believe it is vital for our generation to find long-lasting
solutions for peace in the Middle East and to protect the rights of women, children, and ethnic
minorities that are being abused in the region. I hope to pursue an undergraduate program
focused on Human Rights, taking classes such as “International Human Rights Law,” “Equality,
Identity & Rights” and “Human Rights and Human Wrongs.”
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For example, in summer 2013, I participated in a two-week course called “Identity, Diversity,
and Leadership” at Brown University. This course challenged me to study my own social
and individual identity. I learned the values of listening, sympathizing, and understanding
those who are unlike me. Similarly, in October 2014, I took part in a seminar on Non-Violent
Communication organized by Seeds of Peace, focusing on ways to bridge dialogue divides
and maintain empathy during difficult conversations.
Like us, an American-Lebanese-Colombian family living in Madrid, my extended family all

have very international backgrounds and have lived all around the world. I have American-
Lebanese-Austrian cousins living in London and American-Lebanese- Belgian cousins living in
Hong Kong. Even though we all have lived very different lives, we have something in common
– the feeling of being citizens of the world, immersed in a plethora of distinct cultures, yet
being part of one close-knit family.
I am lucky to have been raised in this environment. It has helped me become a more
adaptable, flexible, and understanding person with intellectual curiosity and openness to the
world.
Additionally, Columbia College would offer me the opportunity to take an array of classes
taught by leading scholars in the Departments of Political Science; Middle East, South Asian,
and African Studies; and Linguistics. These classes would give me a global view of the
complex world we live in, help me better understand the international challenges we face
today, and further expand my global outlook and knowledge of world cultures and customs.
I look forward to taking classes such as “National Security Strategies of the Middle East: A
Comparative Perspective”, “Rethinking Middle East Politics” and “Language and Society”. I am
also keen on continuing to build on my Arabic language skills to complement my interest in
Middle Eastern history and politics through the amazing resources provided by the Columbia
Global Center in Amman, where I hope to spend at least two summers.
With my background and experiences, I believe I would contribute new perspectives to class
discussions and learn from the ideas of the inspiring and diverse students that Columbia
University attracts.
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NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

Located in the heart of New York City, it’s no surprise that NYU attracts thousands of hopeful
applicants each year. In your NYU essays, focus on telling the admissions team why NYU—
not just New York—is the place for you. Use as much detail as possible, and try to show your
reader how your presence would enrich their community.
Why NYU Essay
We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to
NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college,
program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell
us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to
understand – Why NYU? (400 word maximum)
AUTHOR 1
I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could run
numbers quickly: calculating sales tax, analyzing probabilities, and visualizing complex
mathematical models in my head. After taking AP classes in economics and statistics, I
became intrigued with the mathematical representations of economic markets and statistical
models, sparking my desire to pursue a career in that field. I set my sights on becoming an
actuary since risk management intrigues me and allows me to use my talents in quantitative
analysis. However, few schools offer a comprehensive study in that field, which makes Stern
the perfect fit for me as the curriculum combines my interests and career goals.
At Stern, I will have the privilege of studying actuarial science, while also obtaining a business
degree. The ability to tailor my education with the actuarial science concentration allows
me to develop skills in statistical analysis. Through the intense rigor of the concentration
requirements STAT-UB 21 “Introduction to Stochastic Processes” and STAT-UB 15 “Statistical
Inference and Regression Analysis,” I will be given a stepping stone into quantifying social
situations while stimulating my mathematical intrigue through advanced fields like stochastic
calculus. I am eager to pursue this course of study to enhance my career development.
The Bachelor of Science in Business Program excites me, as it entails a well rounded yet
intensive study in core business disciplines. However, what draws me to Stern is the emphasis
on gaining a global perspective, which is crucial in today’s rapidly changing world economy.
Through the International Business Exchange Program, I will be able to gain a first-hand
cultural experience that will mold me into a global citizen and business leader. Not only will
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I be taking courses in the most prestigious business schools across the globe, but I will also
have new doors opened for me to network with alumni.
AUTHOR 2
Before I began interning for the International Rescue Committee’s refugee youth acclimation
program–right in the heart of the Lower East Side–I underwent weeks of training in providing
trauma-informed support, reminded repeatedly that these kids have gone through more than
I could possibly imagine.
When the kids did show up, however, I could barely relate the image painted for us in training
to the bright, bubbly children who I was to mentor. Mahdi and I especially took to each other.
He was just like any other nine-year-old kid–a fan of Roblox, pizza, basketball, funny accents,
and an acute hatred for anything math-related.
Only, he wasn’t like any other kid–at least not in the eyes of the 49% of Americans who
believe he has no place in this country, for no reason other than the color of his skin, his god,
the status of his residency here.
There are people here who would hear his name and call him a terrorist. Kids on the
playground would mock his accent rather than be amazed at how quickly he picked up
basketball–a sport he’d had zero exposure to 6 months back. Adults, on both ends of the
ideological spectrum, would see him as a political mascot rather than a kid, allow him to
be one–he’d be forced to grow up too soon, as a result of the hatred, having his existence
politicized.
To get to my internship every day, I transferred at West 4th, from the A to the M train. Once
in a while, I’d take the chance to climb up and walk around Washington Square Park.
Clad in lavender shirts, NYU students were camped out in the center of the park, asking
people to write out on little post-its what social justice meant to them. Fire burning in the pit
of my stomach, I wrote, “Allowing Mahdi to just be a kid.”
And NYU can help me make that happen–there is groundbreaking research happening
on campus regarding racial bias and inequality at CASSR that I can’t wait to contribute to.
Pursuing a major of public health policy, I can take fascinating, relevant classes such as
Social Policy in Modern Societies and Race and Ethnicity. What’s more, I can join student
organizations–like the one handing out the post-its that day in Washington Square–and work
with my peers, with NYU, with New York City as a whole, towards social justice from a health
perspective, towards allowing Mahdi to just be a kid.
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UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO
UChicago is famous for its supplemental essay prompts—many of which are unconventional,
to say the least. While you’ll encounter the typical “why this college” essay prompt at
UChicago, you’ll also find prompts like “how easy is pie?”
These essay questions might feel tough to answer. However, don’t feel overwhelmed by the
UChicago essay prompts. Instead, use them as a chance to show your reader who you are,
and have fun as you write.
University of Chicago Standard Essay Example
How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a
particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity
your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.
AUTHOR 1
When I visited UChicago, a friend invited me to step into her Comparative Literature class:
Monstrosity and the Monstrous. Desperate for refuge from the cold (as a Bay Area resident,
I hadn’t packed for the Chicago winter), I quickly obliged. I expected to silently observe,
but when I mentioned that I’d read Antigone, her professor was thrilled–he immediately
invited me into the discussion. For an hour and a half, we weighed the pros and cons of civil
disobedience: did Antigone’s actions permanently destabilize Thebes, and in the modern
day, when does protesting against a government cross the line? Was Antigone justified
in interpreting the will of the gods? And, if so, would Sophocles support pardoning well-
intentioned criminals? Beyond the enthralling analysis of the play, I was captivated by the
spirit of UChicago: a campus that invites everyone (including a loitering high school student)
to contribute and develop their ideas.
Now, it’s surreal to imagine taking “The Economics of Crime” from someone as renowned as
Professor Levitt (I’ve been a fan since reading Freakonomics) and staying after class to clarify
the finer points of the latest Freakonomics podcast (I particularly enjoyed “Speak Softly and
Carry Big Data,” on using data analysis to perfect foreign policy decisions). I hope to add to
UChicago’s legacy of pushing the boundaries of our economic understanding by participating
in undergraduate research, and perhaps put my findings to use through crafting social policy
for the Harris School’s Public Policy Practicum. Prior to graduating, I’ll sample tastes of future
careers through the Fried Public Policy and Service Program or the Trott Business Program.
Simultaneously, as someone who enjoys conversing and respectfully challenging ideas, I look
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forward to immersing myself in the Core Curriculum and obtaining a strong foundation of
knowledge. Above all, I appreciate that UChicago teaches students how to think, encourages
dialogue, and prompts students to question norms.
Beyond an unparalleled education, UChicago boasts an incredible student body. Whether

it’s over $1 milkshakes, at a desk beneath the stunning glass dome of the Mansueto library,
or over a game of pick-up basketball, students at UChicago have a reputation for cultivating
the most interesting conversations, both miscellaneous and profound. I hope that culture will
only intensify within groups like the student government, Muslim Student Association, or the
(undefeated) Model United Nations team. Though I look forward to Scav, the prospect of
another scavenger hunt is even more enticing; over the next four years, my peers and I will
discover the impact we intend to have on the world. Whether I end up delving into politics,
finance, or the nonprofit sector, I know UChicago will guide me through that process–more
importantly, as a member of a campus of visionaries, I hope to learn how I’ll change any field I
enter. I look forward to four life-changing years–this time, with a warm winter coat.
AUTHOR 2
A few days ago, I had the pleasure of visiting UChicago’s campus. What I found was exactly
what I’d hoped for: an absurdly specific and drawn-out debate over which poem was better,
The Iliad, or The Odyssey.
It happened in a dorm. After my official tour, a good friend of mine, Lizzie, who I’d met two
summers ago on a writer’s retreat offered to show me around campus. The insider tour:
coveted by many, enjoyed by few. As we were leaving the common space on her floor in Max
P., we were discussing our respective class schedules. We came to find that we were doing
similar coursework with regard to Classical studies, and with a simple groan at my mention of
the adventures of Achilles in Ilion, the battle began.
Quickly, I found myself drawing my spear—the initial jab: “The portrayal of Odysseus in The
Odyssey is lackluster and inconsistent with prior descriptions at best.”
She dodged, “Maybe, but The Iliad is just a bunch of gore. I want a real story.” The phalanxes
were starting to form; war cries echoing, bouncing off doors which held the empty beds of
students wintering at Mansueto, I stopped.
“Listen,” I said, with a ring reminiscent of a sword being gloriously drawn from its sheath.
“Homer may not have even been the mind behind much of The Odyssey. On top of that, how
do you reconcile Odysseus’ supposed military genius spanning ten years with his seemingly
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cavalier attitude towards his men’s safety on the voyage home?” In turn, she threw her arms
up with a sigh of exasperation—a shield, a deflection.
“Maybe, but Achilles’ melodramatic fits aren’t worth reading. If I wanted to witness
overwrought pouting, I’d go find a four-year-old. Besides, an inconsistency doesn’t damn a
story to the pits of inadequacy.”
Round and round we went, like Achilles and Hector around the city of Ilion, neither of us
gaining an inch, and neither of us drawing nearer escape. But then, for us, escape wasn’t the
point, was it? It was the chase. The Iliad would have been far less exciting had Achilles settled
for glory, fought for Agamemnon, and killed Hector immediately. Likewise, The Odyssey is
nothing but a story of a journey, and therefore wouldn’t have a leg to stand on without the
chase. From my point of view, this is what UChicago is all about—the chase; the journey—
the questions asked and examined, not only those answered. Lizzie and I never came to
a conclusion about which poem is better (thankfully we could agree that The Aeneid was
objectively well written, and well told), but we had a riveting, impassioned conversation on a
dime. My favorite part of this? It happened on the way to her Physics discussion.
That’s why I love UChicago; this is what I crave. The perpetual hall pass to unapologetically
geek out with fellow cats whom curiosity didn’t kill, but strengthened. To walk by the chapel,
and hear the bells playing Kiss the Girl, to sit in the Reading Room and write, to marvel at
the marketing genius behind the naming of Grounds of Being; to have conversations with
poetry nerds, language lovers, people who can rant about the beauty of the C7 chord
or the curvature of a parabolic function. I can only see myself in a place that emphasizes
interdisciplinary studies, that offers a slew of majors, minors, and career courses—that not just
allows, but encourages exploration—that finds its students discussing Homer on the way to
a physics class. I would not be able to function without the camaraderie that comes with the
$1 shake, or the friendships born of mutual vitriol at the notion of their disappearance. This
community is not tied, but melded together—one that challenges, one that nips stagnancy in
the bud. So, paint me maroon and point me towards Axelrod; I’m ready to join this Odyssey-
loving, manhole-cover-thieving, Royal Tenenbaum-esque family.
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University of Chicago Unconventional Essay Example
University of Chicago Essay Example #1:

What’s your Armor?
I won’t knock on wood for luck if the wood isn’t demonstrably pure as the waters of the
Piscine Molitor. When I say I won’t, I don’t mean that I will knock on a table, or a bench
occasionally through gritted teeth if I’m in dire need of cosmic intervention, no, I mean I will
not, under any circumstance, on a train, a plane, or even in Spain, knock on anything other
than natural, uncoated in any way, wood. I recognize the scientific irrationality, not just of
superstitions, but of being picking nits within a particular superstition. I have my reasons.
Two years ago, while scrolling through my Instagram feed, I stumbled across a disconcerting
“fact” that probably wasn’t a fact. The post asserted that more than ninety-percent of all
wooden tables, benches, chairs, etc are not, in fact, strictly wooden. Rather, they are a mix
of synthetic materials and wood. Granted, in most cases, the synthetic is likely just a coat
of protective varnish, but you see, that tarnishes the product for the superstitious. It was a
moment of earth-shattering ramifications. In a matter of three seconds, I questioned every
bit of trust I’d ever placed in the universe. It all seemed futile, meaningless. Now, I’m not
knocking on wood, I’m knocking on wood that has been coated once, twice, ninety-six times
with preservative varnish. At that point, it’s just a synthetic graveyard with a foundation of
wood. There is no luck to be found in an ungodly cemetery of bones like that. I might as well
knock on glass, or grass, or a plastic container. It surpasses trivial in the scheme of things,
but imagine I were to have something especially important looming, something that has the
potential to frame the context of the rest of my life, something like college applications. Why
would I take a chance on something that merely resembles pure wood for luck? I wouldn’t.
I’d run straight outside, find the nearest tree (the only real guarantee), and knock until my
knuckles resembled shredded calf-liver. It’s really not worth the risk.
Why does it even matter, though? Who, and/or what enforces frivolous matters like
outdated pseudo-religious compulsions? I like to imagine that there is a being in charge of
each superstition, both the common and obscure. The Being of Repetition would oversee
all attempts to cheat one’s destiny by uttering a word thirty-seven times, the Being of Self-
Induced Discomfort would superintend those who hold their breath while they cross bridges
or drive past cemeteries, and the Being of Sylvan Knocks would assure that not a single soul
who bops their knuckles on a tarnished, synthetic-wood abomination receives their prize of
favor. This being watches and keeps tabs on those foolish enough to put their faith in the
preternatural equivalent of fool’s gold, and shames them by leaving their worlds deservedly
unaltered. However, those who are devoted enough to search out the nearest tree and give it
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a few raps for good measure, will find magnificent rewards from their generous karmic sugar
daddy. Call me a purist, call me ridiculous, but I’m convinced that this is the indisputable truth.
So convinced, in fact, that those closest to me have picked up on my idiosyncratic neurosis.

I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy the friendship of observant souls, one of whom, named Jack,
happens to be a skilled woodworker. Upon confessing to him my cognitive dissonance of
being vehemently non-superstitious, while also controlled like a marionette by this irrational
belief, he took it upon himself to, at the very least, ease the inconvenience of finding a tree
in my panic. He gave me a teardrop-shaped, knuckle-sized piece of pure wood. Not just that,
but he put a small hole in it so that it would fit on my keychain. I carry it everywhere. I give it
a little knock every now and then just for the extra luck. Knowing that no matter the place,
no matter the scenario, I’m always in the good graces of the Being of Sylvan Knocks means
that I never again have to add “find a tree” to my mental to-do list. It means release—means
freedom.
Maybe one day I’ll get over my manneristic malady, but until that day comes, I’ll keep carrying
my teardrop everywhere I go, and hope that Jack never tells me that my charm is anything
less than Piscine pure, unadulterated luck. Knock on wood, right?
University of Chicago Essay Example #2:

The mantis shrimp can perceive both polarized light and multispectral images; they have
the most complex eyes in the animal kingdom. Human eyes have color receptors for three
colors (red, green, and blue); the mantis shrimp has receptors for sixteen types of color,
enabling them to see a spectrum far beyond the capacity of the human brain. Seriously,
how cool is the mantis shrimp: mantisshrimp.uchicago.edu. What might they be able to
see that we cannot? What are we missing?
The red and purple hues of the sunset warm the chilly summer evening; the soft pastels
blend perfectly under my fingers to emanate the photograph; each Van Gogh and Renoir
mesmerize me as I creep through the brightly lit museum. Photographs and paintings capture
the beauty that we see with our eyes. Our almighty sense of sight allows us to be immersed
by the extraordinary, but at the same time, it hinders us.
Although breath-taking to witness, the mantis shrimp, majestic as a unicorn or narwhal from
the outside, relates more closely to a soul-sucking dementor. Its mighty claws enable it to
chomp nearby prey instantaneously. Is it possible that the violent behavior of a mantis shrimp
is related in someway to its heightened abilities of sight?
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Segregation, discrimination, isolation; so many “tion”s can be attributed to our sense of

vision. In elementary school, the concept of being popular is already engrained in our minds.
As a first grader, I got my first glimpse of this when a girl was forced to tell her best friend
that they couldn’t hang out anymore because she “wasn’t cool enough.” And what deems
someone to be popular? Of course, attitude and self-confidence are key, but popularity is
equally derived from having the newest backpack and sparkly shoes that light up with each
step. In the 1940s, having “the look” meant blonde hair and blue eyes with the emanating
threat of concentration camps and execution. America, the land of the free, cannot forget
its very own history of segregation that nearly split the nation in two. People were belittled
and harassed due to the color of their skin. Throughout history, mankind has associated
superiority with skin color and race. Our sense of sight has limited us oftentimes to fixate on
seeing instead of understanding
The kaleidoscopic exoskeleton of the mantis shrimp indicates its very own evolutionary
emphasis on beauty. Why else would one attempt to look so radiant if not to mate and
produce heirs? I would probably be pretty picky too if I had such a powerful pair of eyes—
fixating on each segment, each tentacle, each antenna. Over the centuries, the selectivity of
the mantis shrimp possibly eliminated less attractive members from the gene pool. It never
thought “Oh well, maybe she has a nice personality and a good sense of humor.” In a world
of plastic Barbie dolls and glossy magazine covers, I would hate to see an even greater
emphasis on aesthetics.
As a child, I read A Wrinkle in Time and journeyed to the planet Ixchel where Madeline
L’Engle’s fictional character Meg tries to explain the concept of seeing to a creature with no
eyes. In response the beast states, “We do not know what things look like, as you say… We
know what things are like. It must be a very limiting thing, this seeing.” As a child, I pondered
the difficultly of explaining sight to someone incapable of it and all the words that a person
wouldn’t understand—light, dark, colors, shades. When I initially read this prompt about the
mantis shrimp, I was reminded of this passage. The difficulty of imagining all that the mantis
shrimp can see is possibly just as difficult as it is for someone who is blind to imagine the
red of a robin’s belly, the illustrious light blue sky, or the shades of skin tones. I was originally
perplexed by the idea that seeing can be “a very limiting thing.” Over half a decade later, as
I reread Madeline L’Engle’s words, I find the truth in this phrase. We do not need sight. It is
convenient being able to color coordinate files and match shoes with shirts, but the ability to
see can often overpower our other senses. We judge and make first impressions by the way
a person dresses, often neglecting what that person says or thinks or knows.
Perhaps the mantis shrimp’s eyes allow it to see further than our color spectrum, into infrared,
ultraviolet, or radio waves. Maybe this allows it to see its predators inching closer before
they devise an attack. The shrimp’s vision could possibly replace its sense of feeling and
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hearing—observing sound waves in the wavy, salty sea or having thermal imaging abilities.
However, the extent to its abilities is far greater than we can perceive. It would be impossible
to imagine the full capabilities of the mantis shrimp without having a “Freaky Friday” moment
and switching brains. As humans, we have become too accustomed to our perception of
superiority that it is difficult to imagine abilities greater than our own. What we lack, we
attempt to compensate for with technology and scientific advancements. We have escaped
the mentality of our cavemen and cavewomen ancestors—scavenging for food and hiding
from predators. Machine guns and others weapons of mass destruction have given humans
the mindset that we are on the top of the food chain.
The short novel Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott was enforced upon my Geometry class over
spring break. Although initially a lesson about the multiple dimensions, Flatland also explores
the challenge of explaining higher realms to those who cannot experience it. The king of
Pointland is so narrow-minded and insular that he refuses to believe that there are objects
larger than he is. When confronted with a square, all he sees is another point. As humans,
our abilities are limited as well. We do not have the innate skills of the mantis shrimp with its
sixteen receptors; however, centuries of innovation have made us inept to fully perceive the
skills we are incapable of.
The mantis shrimp can see a greater spectrum of rays and waves and possibly some great
unknown, but perhaps, it is better that its abilities remain a mystery. At this time, we are
probably not ready for such visual capabilities; our current ones have already proven to be
overbearing. Maybe the best things in life are not meant to be seen because they must be felt
or understood.
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UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
Located in Ann Arbor, the University of Michigan is one of the nation’s premiere public
universities. Students at UMich have the chance to engage in research with world-class
professors, take exciting classes, and pursue a wide variety of extracurricular programs.
When applying to the University of Michigan, you’ll encounter some familiar essay prompts—
namely, their “why UMich” and “why this major” essays. As you approach these essays, try to
be as specific as possible.
University of Michigan Why School & Why Major Essay Example
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College
or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are
applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?
AUTHOR 1
Given the excellent academic program, the University of Michigan provides a wonderful
opportunity for me to learn and grow both as a student and person. During my recent tour
of campus, I was excited about the idea that I had the potential to make a mark on this large
university. Furthermore, I got the sense that there were many opportunities for me to create
a community, excel in a variety of academic and leadership areas, and prepare myself for an
exciting and fulfilling career.
I am most interested in the Program in Biology within the College of Literature, Science and
the Arts. As an avid life science student with a keen interest in environmental science and
biodiversity, I am most interested in the Ecology and Evolutionary Biology major. In my AP
biology course, for instance, the lab I found most interesting involved animal behavior with
response to wet and dry environments. As a student within the Department of EEB, I would
be able to learn more about biodiversity and the history of life on earth. The depth and
breadth of the curriculum, including classes such as Animals Functioning in Environments and
Animal Diversity, would be particularly interesting to me. Another exciting unique opportunity
is the University of Michigan’s Biological Station in the Great Lakes region. As a member of
a research team, I would be able to examine natural habitats and do lab experiments in the
field. I am more than excited to be part of such a scientific community. I am also interested
in exploring forest succession and ecosystem processes through the Forest Ecosystem
Study. Furthermore, I would be interested in studying abroad during my time at Michigan.
One program that interested me was the CGIS trip to the London School of Economics and
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Political Sciences where I could further my study of biology, but in a new setting. Michigan’s
strength of curricular and hands-on opportunities would certainly offer me ways to continue
and develop my interest in biology.
Outside of the classroom and field, I would like to share my enthusiasm about biology with
like-minded students by joining the Biology Student Alliance and Society of Biology Students.
And, while not directly related to biology and ecology, as a Michigan student, I look forward
to joining the Michigan Academics Competition. As captain of my school’s Academic team,
a Quiz Bowl style trivia competition, I enjoy researching and recalling science (and history)
facts. As a biology student, I am confident that I would become one of the biology specialists
on the Michigan Academics Competition and Quiz Bowl Team.
Michigan’s incredible opportunities within the Program of Biology would enable me to have
access to a world class education. Furthermore, the unique field experience and research
opportunities would enable me to make my mark on the University.
AUTHOR 2
I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could run
numbers quickly: calculating sales tax, analyzing probabilities, and visualizing complex
mathematical models in my head. After taking two AP classes in economics and one in
statistics, I became increasingly intrigued with the mathematical representations of the
different product and labor markets of the economy and modeling statistical outcomes,
sparking my desire to pursue a career in that field through preferred action admission to
Ross. Thus, I have set my sights on becoming an actuary since risk management is highly
intriguing and allows me to use my talents in mathematical and statistical analysis as well as
in written and verbal communication. The curriculum at Ross, coupled with the liberal arts
requirements, will provide me with the necessary background to pursue my career goals.
At Ross, I will have the privilege of pursuing a Bachelor in Business Administration, providing
me with a well-rounded background in management and economic analysis. I am particularly
looking forward to the TO 301: Business Analytics and Statistics course taught by Dr. Shimi
Nassiri, as it develops the skills of proper statistical and economic analysis and subsequent
decision making. As well, it provides in-class experience of analyzing and modelling real
data sets. I am also invested in Dr. Nassiri research of more efficient and effective healthcare
solutions. As a Hispanic teenager, I feel very strongly about Dr. Shima Nassiri research on
health care as it greatly impacts both the Hispanic and other minority communities. I am
also eager for the 360° Thinking portion of the Ross curriculum. Particularly, the junior year
course MO 300: Behavioral Theory in Management greatly intrigues me. It entails an in depth
analysis of societal trends and how to develop creative and efficient responses as a manager.
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This class would provide a strong foundation for me in the analysis of social sciences and
how they intertwine with economics. Additionally, what draws me to Ross is the emphasis
on teambuilding and leadership skills which play a crucial role in molding successful business
leaders in today’s rapidly changing world economy. My experience as a faculty-selected
“Peer Leader” at Manalapan High School has provided a gateway into the fundamentals of
leadership, and I look forward to expanding my skills through the unique leadership portion
of the Ross curriculum as well as various leadership programs, such as the Leadership
Experience Program (LDRx). The opportunity to develop both the tangible and intangible
skills, which separate the accomplished leaders from the rest of the pack, will help me to
create meaningful relationships both in the business world and the greater world community.
While I expect to learn a great deal at Ross, I feel my upbringing will permit me to contribute
to Ross. I grew up surrounded by Latin salsa, spices, sights, and sounds, but that was not all.
Since my parents immigrated from Cuba, I grew up with stories of the political and economic
struggles my family faced. It is through these stories that I have gained an understanding of
the influence of leadership and the importance of economical and statistical analysis to grow
an economy. I hope to share my cultural background and perspective as a Hispanic man at
Ross.
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UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA
As an Ivy League university, the University of Pennsylvania attracts a large number of
applicants each year. If you want to get into UPenn, you’ll need to stand out.
One way to do so is through your UPenn essays. In the following essay examples, you’ll see
how accepted students used their essays to show what made them unique.
UPenn Why Major Essay Example #1
How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you
explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific
undergraduate school you have selected. (300-450 words)
AUTHOR 1
Make no mistake—in my family, Saturday night Scrabble is no slight affair. For the better part
of my childhood, I struggled to get the upper hand against my parents’ eloquent lexicon.
Eventually, I found the solution in a paper by Dutch economist Jacques Polack, the architect
of the International Monetary Fund: in it, he outlined how to best leverage the scarcity of the
tiles involved, applying economic principles to optimize the otherwise-mundane game. Aside
from revamping my Scrabble skills, his research taught me that business economics govern
everything from the global economy to a board game.
Gradually, economics also became a cornerstone of my day-to-day life. Now, when my

6:35 AM alarm rings, I consider the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility before slapping the
snooze button — will my nine minutes of fragmented slumber garner more utility than the
alternative (a cup of freshly brewed coffee)? In debate rounds, I’ve found that the root cause
of political and social problems can be found by delving into interest rates, quantitative
easing, or volatility indices. However, only after working with Congressman DeSaulnier did I
realize the far-sweeping effects of economic legislation. One of my most memorable projects
— preparing a brief scrutinizing the social, political, and economic effects of H.R. 4674 (the
College Affordability Act) — showed that even minor decreases to college tuition tackled
cyclical poverty through education, with the resulting butterfly effect benefitting millions. I
was hooked. After convincing the Congressman to become a co-author, I aspired to one day
use economic and political principles to author similarly innovative policy.
The Business Economics and Public Policy concentration at the Wharton School offers the
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perfect opportunity to intertwine those passions. I appreciate Wharton’s holistic approach

to teaching the global economy: courses like Nations, Politics, and Markets cover the big
picture of the international markets, while Housing Markets dissects the minutiae of a single
industry, isolating areas that need improvement. I also look forward to courses like Professor
Eisenhower’s Communication and the Presidency — effective communication is still the bridge
that turns effective ideas into tangible social change. I hope to put those lessons to use by
brainstorming legislation at the Wharton Public Policy Initiative, where I’ll have the opportunity
to collaborate with a uniquely diverse student body, challenge my preconceptions, and
catalyze novel ideas. Clubs like the Penn International Impact Consulting offer the opportunity
to collaborate with NGOs an ocean away, simultaneously letting me have a tangible social
impact and helping me develop an international network. These four years at Penn will leave
me with more than just a degree. From mastering the economics of Scrabble to pioneering
solutions to society’s most pressing problems, they’re the first step to having a global impact.
AUTHOR 2
I was eight when my first business idea struck. Each day, classmates would approach me with
a string of questions about homework: Is Russia in Europe or Asia? What’s the commutative
property? How do you spell ‘satisfied’? One day, my third-grade self thought, Why not charge
a quarter for each answer?
After hearing my proposition, my dad laughed so hard he could barely repeat it to my mom.
“She’s born for business!” he exclaimed.
His words stuck with me. Years later, those words propelled me to take Wharton’s Coursera
Marketing class, which left me fascinated by the psychology behind marketing: Why do all the
girls at school wear Lululemon leggings when Nike’s are cheaper? Why is SmartWorld Coffee
right next to Starbucks? Even calculus problems on price optimization made me wonder, How
do businesses price their products? As I explored, I uncovered the answers to many of these
questions, even making my own findings in product-pricing last year. “Born for business” or
not, I realized that I had discovered something I truly loved.
Last July, at Leadership in the Business World (LBW), I not only nurtured my burgeoning
passion for business, I also experienced a glimpse of what attending Wharton would be like.
Between case studies, site visits, and discussion-based lectures, LBW embodied the interactive
learning culture I thrive in. Analyzing the merits of Google’s growing power with Professor
McCaffrey challenged my preconceptions of monopolies, and discussions about customer
centricity with Professor Fader left me with a new perspective on equity versus efficiency.
Everything I learned was both thought-provoking and engaging; I was eager for more.
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And I did get more — in the form of hands-on learning. In the first week, I made investments
as a venture capitalist in the Startup Game simulation; by the last week, I was pitching a
startup to a panel of investors. No matter what it was, I could practice what I had learned in
context. I was excited to discover that this reflects Wharton as a whole. When my Teaching
Assistant, Mona, described her Management 100 project, I felt a sense of déjà vu: the desire
for practical application that motivated her to help local immigrants grow their businesses
also guides my own endeavors. For example, after LBW, I applied my knowledge of customer
segmentation while establishing a service organization to partner with Key Club. Recognizing
that the key psychographic was stay-at-home/team-mom type parents, I quickly attracted 30
dedicated members. In essence, Penn students engage with their education in a way that’s
directly relevant to the world — a practice that matches my own learning style perfectly.
Furthermore, at Wharton, I can unify my core interests in business and civic engagement.
Behavioral Economics — a concentration rarely offered by undergraduate business programs
— would deepen my understanding of the human decision-making process, helping me
answer questions about everything from athletic wear to coffee. Meanwhile, a secondary
concentration in Social Impact and Responsibility would help me approach business problems
through a social impact lens. Together, both concentrations would teach me to apply my
business acumen toward my love of service.
Beyond the classroom, I hope to join the Social Impact Consulting Group (SIC), where I plan to
implement both my Wharton education and my past involvement with nonprofits to help local
communities. Over the last few years, I’ve worked intimately with the local Big Brother/Big
Sister chapter, and I would love to use that experience to help the Philadelphia chapter that
Penn’s SIC Group counsels.
In short, I’ve fallen in love with Penn in its entirety. Between the strong theme of practical
application and the 6AM runs along Spruce Street, the eclectic atmosphere of the Kelly
Writers House and the Greek Lady French Toast, Penn is the perfect blend of vitality,
collaboration, and interdisciplinary learning. It is this community that I hope to make my home
for the next four years.
AUTHOR 3
My first visit to Philadelphia was a unique one. With car keys for the second time, the world
at my disposal, and a desire to try a cheesesteak for the first time, I took the two-hour drive
to Philly. While I dispensed my entire paycheck throughout the duration of the trip, my only
regret remains trying Pat’s and Geno’s and perhaps also losing my car privilege for three
months. In all seriousness, knowing I’d only have time to visit 1-2 places, I decided to do a
self-guided tour of Penn, a school I had already researched extensively. Nestled in a bastion
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of intellectualism, culture, and history in a city I dared to learn so much from stood this
behemoth of a school, and it was after this tour that I decided to apply to UPenn’s School of
Engineering and Applied Sciences.
My experience with engineering began with taking apart my dad’s Dell Inspiron desktop.
Fascinated by the complex arrangement of the parts and the intricate designs that lined
the parts themselves, I was too young to understand what the term “engineering” even
encompassed. Engineering to me was not just about building computers, which I’d eventually
pursue, but optimization. I was obsessed with choosing graphics cards and CPU’s, always
pursuing maximum efficiency in terms of size, speed, and price of the final product. Naturally,
this kickstarted my journey into circuitry; I still remember by first series circuit. The logic
behind the placement of the wires excited me. The troubleshooting required when I wasn’t
met with success filled me with purpose. Later, the power to utilize my Arduino to power
code into my projects rendered my options limitless.
Indeed, my rather bizarre voyage to campus affirmed my intuition that UPenn was the school
for me, but it was the substance of my research that confirmed that the SEAS, in particular,
was compatible with my academic goals and interests. To my delight, I discovered that as
stringent as an electrical engineering degree at Penn would be, I could also apply to earn a
minor in Energy and Sustainability. Beginning with the Engineering Probability course (ESE
301), I’d start off learning what I love, combinatorics and advanced topics such as the Bernoulli
schema that I am already studying outside of school now. Even more exciting would be the
culmination of my entire Penn education during my senior year, when I’d partake in the Senior
Design competition. Through this project competition, I’d have the privilege of applying real-
world knowledge obtained at Penn by presenting my work to expert judges in my field.
In addition to my passion for electricity and circuitry, I am deeply interested in biomimicry,

a field that became the cornerstone of my studies outside of school because of a simple
realization: all around me lies genius. Thus biomimicry, the practice of applying designs and
process from nature to engineering, one that I’m determined to develop with an Energy
and Sustainability minor by applying energy-storing processes of leaves to solar cells—a
longstanding point of research outside of school—constantly motivates me. While this aspect
of engineering is one that I haven’t tangibly sought out in high school through formal clubs
or competitions because of my work commitments, my extensive personal studies through
books and online resources have instilled in me a desire to explore it further in college.
Fascinatingly enough, I’d find a home to do this at Penn, where the engineering blog even has
a hashtag for coverage of biomimicry. A few weeks ago, I even bookmarked an article about
a student researcher developing a method to render the production of biofuel more efficient
by mimicking giant clams, only to later discover that the article was published by UPenn.
Ultimately, attending Penn would mean an opportunity to not only learn from the best, but
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also access resources to better the world around me, following in the footsteps of so many
other Penn innovators.
AUTHOR 4
3:31 PM: Notebook and camera clutched in each arm, I prowl the streets of Detroit.
3:54 PM: As I find myself hunting along a line of apartments encased by steel-frame
construction, I figure it might make for a story. What is going on here?
3:55 PM: I ask an African-American woman who slumps against the charred-brick wall,
surrounded by a sea of translucent trash bags. She tells me, and I am horrified.
Horrified to know she was kicked out. Horrified to learn that the developers had doubled the
rent, cut the power, harassed her and threatened to burn down her apartment when she
fought to stay. Horrified to hear that she hated her dark skin, hated the way she was born.
Horrified, that the Webster Dictionary taught me gentrification means positive change.
While the woman I had encountered was in dire straits, her undoing was the making of me. In
talking with her, my eyes were opened to the atrocities that ordinary people live through, and
I could no longer sit back and allow them to go unnoticed. As a journalist, I have the ability to
give voice to the silenced, to take someone’s story and broadcast it over an intercom. That
day, I wrote her story in hopes that even one more person might understand her story and
learn of the ugly in a word disguised by the good.
Since then, I have strived to reach larger audiences. Through writing articles and meeting
with legislators through The Borgen Project, I have continued to immerse myself in poverty
matters and deepened my interest in the intersection of Sociology and Economics while
growing as a writer. While researching, I find myself investigating urban sprawl or income
disparity, and hundreds of questions flood my mind. At Penn, the possibility of pursuing my
curiosities are embedded in both the school’s academics and geography.
With twofold interests in urban matters, I seek The College’s Urban Sociology concentration
with an Economic Policy minor; this, I find conducive to exploring both the socio-political and
economic nuances of poverty alleviation. Additionally, I am concerned about gentrification,
and educating myself on the matter in one of the most gentrified cities in America provides
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the natural setting for first-hand observation and research. Fairmount, located only two miles
outside of Penn, is a neighborhood undergoing excessive black gentrification in Philadelphia.
One day, I hope to work alongside mentors such as Dr. Grazian–whose expertise spans both
the economic and social dynamics of Philadelphia neighborhoods–and direct a case study
detailing effects of Fairmount gentrification. In developing a multifaceted worldview, it is my
ideal to pursue my intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania, in a place itself as
culturally rich as Philadelphia.
AUTHOR 5
The University of Pennsylvania, with its strong emphasis on pre-professional learning is ideal
as a learning environment. That focus is what drives many students with an eye to the future.
We hope to apply our learning, impact the real world in ways that inspire change.
I find the Cognitive Science program, specifically its concentration in Language and Mind
most appealing. As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing
the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or
computationally draws upon various fields that showcase various perspectives on the
meanings of language. It’s fascinating that despite the various languages and cultures there
can be a biological scientific breakdown explaining the complex processes underlying syntax
and semantics.
I am fascinated with the study of semantics, especially as it relates to both personality and
gender. Because the World Well-Being Project touches on the topic of extroversion versus
introversion, I would hope to be involved. This topic has interested me since reading Quiet by
Susan Cain, which I also wrote about for Teen Line’s blogs. The language of both gender and
personality are particularly intriguing; research suggests that for males, possessive pronouns
are strongly associated with relationships like girlfriend and husband while for females, the
nouns existed primarily on their own. List of most used words also differ along personality
traits. I wonder why researchers persist in correlating the language to the Big Five Traits
(which carry their own significant connotations) rather than to other classificatory systems.
Two other UPenn labs offer me routes to follow my current interests: The Cultural Evolution
of Language lab under Dr. Roberts and the Cognition and Development Lab under Dr.
Weisberg.
In the last decade, texting lingo has changed the way many speak. I find myself wondering
whether spoken language will lose its richness as common vocabulary shortens and simplifies.
The idea of experimental semiotics that Dr. Roberts utilizes is fascinating in that we can watch
how a newly-created language progresses, thrives, or decays.
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The Cognition and Development Lab under Dr. Weisberg, on the other hand, focuses
primarily on development, interviewing children and exploring what exactly is going on when
they enact pretend stories. I still remember one instance of my five-year-old self playing
pretend princess at an after school program; a fifth grader had snapped at me in annoyance
to stop using the word “pretend” in our play activity. The next five minutes had me tripping
over my own words, finally giving up in frustration when for some reason, I couldn’t avoid
saying pretend in my games. The rest of the day was spent sitting in a huff in the corner,
hugging a pillow. Thinking back, I can’t fathom why I enjoyed living in a fantasy. It seems out
of character to the Katie today. Discovering how play helps with growth is one of the major
questions surrounding the study of children; its effects on cognition could be impactful in
parenting theories because fantasy play probably has a significant role in the development of
the brain.
While not an academic interest, acapella singing remains intellectually stimulating to me.
Joining groups like Pennyo or Pennsori will allow me to practice singing and speaking in
Mandarin or Korean. These include musical genres that I have been exploring for several
years, allowing me to learn about culturally embedded vehicles for aesthetic language. They
will provide me with another way to explore language and culture.
The differences between the word clouds can be read into farther than simply, girls say “I
love you” more and guys talk about video games – rather, there are small details that are
indicative, whether of true gender differences or cultural norm commonalities. The language
of personality, on the other hand brings up questions – why use the Big Five standard over
others? The traits are often associated with a strongly positive or negative implication in
society – which directly correlates to the words found in the clouds. It would be interesting
to analyze social media aspects on neutral traits as well, as shown with the introversion/
extroversion in order to find correlations between how language is use and how differently
it is processed by personality categorizations like the more detail-oriented versus big idea
thinkers.
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UPenn Essay Example #2
At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classrooms, too. How will you explore
the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective
and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-
200 words)
AUTHOR 1
Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love, and Penn lives up to that ethos. The
community there is uniquely supportive, diverse, and vibrant. Having competed as a
member of the USA Debate Team, I look forward to bringing my experience to the Penn
Debate Society, and hopefully, representing the school at the World University Debating
Championships., Beyond competing at tournaments, I appreciate last year’s collaboration
debate with The Economist and the Bard Prison Initiative; to broaden the team’s horizons, I’d
love to arrange similar events with other think tanks, nonprofits, or community organizations.
After four years of pick-up basketball at Sycamore Valley Park, I look forward to joining
the intramural team, where I’d connect with the Penn community on the court while getting
some much-needed practice on my jump shot. To preserve my tradition of attending Friday
prayers, I’ll join the Muslim Student Association. Both through social gatherings or community
work at the Masjid al-Jamia, I’m excited to work with a community of Muslims from around the
world. Finally, I hope to join the Penn Student Government–it’d be both a new experience and
help me gain experience advocating for the interests of the student body.
AUTHOR 2
Too often, I have found myself walled-in by hard lines and expectations. At school, I belong to
multiple circles, but I find myself contributing only a portion of my personality to each. In my
community, there is just no all-encompassing space.
Penn makes a family out of us multipotentialites. Penn students refuse to be defined by one
thing, a unique culture through which I can thrive as a liberal-arts-focused student enthusiastic
about STEM. As a creative writer, I’ve gravitated towards writing science-fiction, imagining
futuristic worlds where people online-shop for faces, or where simulation technology has
allowed us to learn history by experiencing it. By writing for t-art, I am afforded the possibility
of acting as a liaison between the Humanities and STEM worlds through innovative creative
expression. On other days, I see myself merging my skills as an urban sociologist and
journalist to report about the surrounding city through The Daily Pennsylvanian. On Mondays
and Thursdays, I might find myself playing Mahler with the Penn Symphony Orchestra. Above
all, I envision myself strolling through Locust Walk each day, tracing the footsteps of Andrea
51
Mitchell to Elizabeth Banks, chatting with friends about the first presidential debate to the
origin of “irregardless.”
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JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY ESSAY

EXAMPLE
Located in Baltimore, Johns Hopkins is one of the nation’s top schools. The Johns Hopkins
essays give students a chance to show how Johns Hopkins will serve their interests and
facilitate their growth.
To make the most of the Johns Hopkins essays, do your research. Think about why you’re
applying to Johns Hopkins and what programs most excite you. Then, take that passion and
channel it into your essays.
Johns Hopkins University was founded in 1876 on a spirit of exploration and discovery. As
a result, students can pursue a multi-dimensional undergraduate experience both in and
outside of the classroom. Given the opportunities at Hopkins, please discuss your current
interests—academic or extracurricular pursuits, personal passions, summer experiences,
etc.—and how you will build upon them here. (300-500 Word limit)
Since childhood, mathematics and science had some special magic for me. The mathematical
numbers and formulas and the scientific experiments always fascinated me. This interest
turned into my passion when I started doing hands-on projects for Science Olympiad in
middle and high school and also engineering projects in high school. My quest for engineering
is based on the creative application of mathematics and science which can be applied with
judgment, rigor and creativity to develop and design new or better ways to utilize materials,
technologies and the forces of nature for the benefit of our society.
I am particularly interested in Environmental Engineering discipline. Presently earth’s

environment is being put under constant pressure for improvement. I have made many
trips to India with my parents and found out how the natural resources are still immensely
underutilized and how these natural resources, along with the engineering principles and
design, can be leveraged in order to improve the quality of lives of common people all around
the globe. My goal in life is to transform knowledge, experience and resources that I can
gain through an engineering program at a leading institution like Johns Hopkins University
into technologies that can be incorporated into products and services which in turn can fulfill
these necessities. During my trips to rural India, one of the sights that particularly drew my
attention was the state of the waste-water and how its quality can be improved with the help
of water treatment technologies. Instilled with this idea, I have read many research articles
in the journal called “Environmental Science & Technology”. I found few research articles
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that were emphasizing how to prevent nitrogen related impairment of waste-water quality.
Researchers are honing in on the specific bacterial genes that are responsible for nitrous
and nitric oxide formation in the waste-water. Their goal is to “engineer” this process so
that these genes can not be properly expressed, thereby preventing the nitrogen related
impairment of the waste-water quality.
Recently I have also gone through some research work of Prof. Kellogg Schwab from Johns
Hopkins University’s Department of Environmental Health Sciences. His research focuses on
environmental microbiology and engineering with an emphasis on the fate and transport of
pathogenic microorganisms in water, food, and environment. This work includes extensive
laboratory based research designed to develop and evaluate molecular detection methods
which can be applied to field-based investigations. This type of research work always
fascinates me. In future, as an engineer, my passion will be to carry out further research work
in a field like this which can fulfill the necessities of the vast majority of people in this universe.
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GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY ESSAY

EXAMPLES
As an elite school, Georgetown takes your essays seriously. With thousands of applicants
each year, Georgetown uses your essays to learn what makes you different.
Unlike many schools, Georgetown does not allow students to apply through the Common
App. Instead, it asks you to complete all essays within the Georgetown application itself.
Georgetown’s essay prompts change often, so always check to make sure you have the most
up-to-date information.
Georgetown University Essay Example #1
In the space available discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in
which you have been most involved.
I stood up and declared, “Objection, your honor!” I boldly defended my reasoning and the
objection was upheld. From that point on, my teammates made countless objections; some
were upheld and some were overruled, but what mattered was that I had inspired them to
take a risk and be brave. After days of writing case briefs, listening to local attorneys’ advice,
and learning the case rules, I was excited to begin the trial and confidently stepped into the
courtroom. My nerves rattled internally, but I was fearless and poised on the outside. Though
I told my teammates to be confident, words weren’t enough; by showing certainty, I put my
words into action. Through my meticulous preparation for trials and constant enthusiasm,
I led my team to victory in the case. As a member of the NC YMCA Youth and Government
program’s inaugural mock trial team, I executed the role of team leader with purpose and
excitement.
Charged with mastering debate topics and teaching them to others, I have captained the
debate team to first place finishes and state recognitions for three years. I learned how to
lead with conviction and debate persuasively. This leadership culminated in my founding
and developing a mock trial team at my school. Because I want fellow students to feel the
thrill and excitement that I have experienced in debate and mock trial, I train members to
be enthusiastic and spark a desire to participate. Establishing the team entailed finding a
local trial attorney to advise us with professional support and presenting a funding request
to my school’s finance committee for competition fees. When meeting with adults and
professionals, I drew on the confidence I gained from my experiences in the courtroom to
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create a strong mock trial program. A priority is ensuring its future success by mentoring
underclassmen to captain and grow the team upon my graduation.

As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know
more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or
creative, which you feel best describes you.
The best thing I ever did was skip eight days of school in a row. Despite the protests
of teachers over missed class time, I told them that the world is my classroom. The lessons
I remember most are those that took place during my annual family vacation to coastal
Maine. That rural world is the most authentic and incredible classroom where learning simply
happens and becomes exponential.
Years ago, as I hunted through the rocks and seaweed for seaglass and mussels, I
befriended a Maine local hauling her battered kayak on the shore. Though I didn’t realize it at
the time, I had found a kindred spirit in Jeanne. Jeanne is a year-round resident who is more
than the hard working, rugged Mainer that meets the eye; reserved and humble in nature,
she is a wealth of knowledge and is self-taught through necessity. With thoughtful attention
to detail, I engineered a primitive ramp made of driftwood and a pulley system to haul her
kayak up the cliff. We diligently figured out complex problems and developed solutions
through trial and error. After running out of conventional materials, I recycled and reimagined
items that had washed ashore. We expected to succeed, but were not afraid to fail. Working
with Jeanne has been the best classroom in the world; without textbooks or technology, she
has made a difference in my life. Whether building a basic irrigation system for her organic
garden or installing solar panels to harness the sun’s energy, every project has shown me the
value of taking action and making an impact. Each year brings a different project with new
excitement and unique challenges. My resourcefulness, problem solving ability, and innovative
thinking have advanced under her tutelage.
While exploring the rocky coast of Maine, I embrace every experience as an

unparalleled educational opportunity that transcends any classroom environment. I
discovered that firsthand experience and real world application of science are my best
teachers. In school, applications of complex calculations and abstract theories are sometimes
obscured by grades and structure. In Maine, I expand my love of science and renourish my
curious spirit. I am a highly independent, frugal, resilient Mainer living as a southern girl in NC.
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Please relate your interest in studying at Georgetown University to your goals. How do
these thoughts relate to your chosen course of study? (If you are applying to major in the
FLL or in a Science, please specifically address those interests.)
Whether exploring the rocky shore of coastal Maine, baking in the kitchen, or
completing a challenging lab report, I have always been passionate about science. As a
young child, I investigated the world around me by building simple circuits or researching the
connection between thunder and lightning. For my eighth grade science fair project, I created
a composting system for my home and tested it for the best combination of materials to
make fertilizer. I continue to be intrigued by interactive problem solving and learning through
discovery. This past summer, I interned at [NAME OF INSTITUTION REDACTED], observing
surgeries and daily patient appointments. By working with and learning from practicing
medical professionals, I witnessed the incredible ability doctors have to positively impact
others’ lives. My positive internship experience cemented my interest in pursuing a major in
chemistry and a career in medicine. I see myself empathizing and connecting with patients
who would be trusting me with their lives. At Georgetown, I would take full advantage of
chances to work with esteemed faculty members on cutting edge research projects through
the Georgetown Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program, in addition to the graduate
school Clinical Electives Program through the National Institute of Health. Though I do not
know what I will specialize in, I see medicine as the vehicle by which I can best serve others.
In addition, Georgetown’s proximity to Washington, D.C., would provide the ideal

opportunity to study chemistry while engaging in the world around me and becoming
exposed to the arts, politics, and history of the area. In the diverse and intellectual community
of Georgetown, I would continue to pursue my goals with natural curiosity while growing
as a leader in the service of others. While volunteering with a deep sense of gratitude and
commitment at Tileston Outreach through Saint Mary’s Catholic Church, I am humbled to
serve people who struggle to provide for their basic needs. However, the diverse needs of
these people have not always been met due to language barriers. I have used my Spanish
skills to communicate with a broader range of clients, extending the impact of the ministry.
Recently in my AP Spanish Language and Culture class, our discussion of the underdeveloped
medical care in Latin American countries spurred my interest in becoming bilingual. At
Georgetown, I would pursue a minor in Spanish to develop my language skills and expand my
exposure to other cultures. I have always dreamed of studying abroad in Spain; the language
and cultural immersion would advance my fluency in Spanish and build the background
necessary for serving Spanish and English speaking patients as a doctor. I see Georgetown as
the window into the endless possibilities of my future.
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In the summer of 2013, my family and I embarked on a whirlwind tour of seventeen

American universities. Of all the schools I visited, Georgetown stood out. In addition to
renowned academic programs, its Jesuit traditions and particularly the value placed on
civic engagement, tolerance, and openness to the world really spoke to me. It is vital for
me to have my college experience in an environment where both academic rigor and these
principles are widely promoted. Although I am an international student, nothing about
Georgetown felt “foreign,” and the University has been my top choice for college ever since
that first visit.
To Georgetown’s diverse and vibrant multinational community, I would be very proud to

contribute my own special mix. I am a citizen of Lebanon, Colombia, and the United States,
and a soon to become Spanish citizen. I speak three different languages and have grown up
in three cities – New York, Sydney and Madrid – located in different corners of the globe. My
Middle Eastern heritage and international background have made me passionate about social
justice, peace, and conflict resolution, fields I would like to work in after college.
Georgetown College is among the few academic institutions where I could pursue an
undergraduate program specifically focused on Justice and Peace Studies. Classes such as
“Conflict Transformation” or “Nonviolence in Theory and Practice” would fit my career goals
perfectly. In addition, Georgetown College would offer me the opportunity to take an array
of classes taught by leading scholars in the Departments of Government and the Faculty
of Languages and Linguistics. Classes such as “Arab Politics in Transition” and “Politics of
Inequality” would further expand my global outlook and knowledge of world cultures and
customs. I am also keen on continuing to build on my Spanish and Arabic language skills.
Finally, I’d take advantage of certificates offered through the School of Foreign Service in
areas such as “Arab Studies” or “Islam and Muslim-Christian Understanding” to complement
my interest in Middle Eastern history and politics.
In parallel to my academic work, Georgetown’s Center for Social Justice Research, Teaching,
and Service seems like an incredible resource for meeting fellow students similarly interested
in community service projects. Service has always been very important to me, and I’d like to
continue in this path throughout college. I would also take advantage of the countless clubs
and student organizations at Georgetown. For example, the Georgetown University Women
in Leadership Club would be a great way to get involved on campus, encouraging the values
of empowerment and gender equality. I’d also join the Georgetown International Relations
Club to expand my knowledge of international relations and politics, while contributing my
experiences coming from a diverse, international background. In my high school, I was very
active in Model UN conferences. At Georgetown, I would look forward to participating in the
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Model United Nations traveling team, one of the most renowned in the United States. I would
also continue my swimming training by joining the Georgetown Club Swim Team. Finding
the balance between my studies, extracurricular activities and athletics is important to me.
At Georgetown, I could participate in all the activities I currently enjoy, while discovering new
interests and opportunities.
Finally, I am also very attracted to Georgetown’s location in Washington, D.C., a city

known for its political engagement and cultural vibrancy. Living in the center of such a
cosmopolitan city, I would take advantage of everything from guest speakers visiting campus
to performances and exhibitions throughout D.C. Thanks to the Cawley Career Education
Center, I would also seek internships with government agencies and NGOs like the “Center for
Civilians in Conflict” or the “Project on Middle East Democracy” to enhance what I would be
learning in class.
I believe Georgetown is the place where all the aspects of my personality would thrive.
Georgetown students and faculty are motivated, active, and inspiring in the ways that inspire
me. Of all the colleges I have seen, Georgetown is where I believe I could grow the most both
academically and socially in an international and open-minded environment. For all these
reasons, Georgetown University is my top choice and where I hope to be able to spend the
next four years.
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CORNELL UNIVERSITY ESSAYS

As an Ivy League university with a small-town feel, Cornell hopes to build a diverse intellectual
community with each incoming class. Cornell’s supplemental prompts essentially boil down to
“why Cornell” and “why this major.” However, if you want a shot at acceptance, you should
be as specific and targeted as possible to show Cornell why you’d thrive at their institution.
Cornell Essay Example
Students in Arts and Sciences embrace the opportunity to delve into multifaceted
academic interests, embodying in 21st century terms Ezra Cornell’s “any person … any
study” founding vision. Tell us about the areas of study you are excited to explore, and
specifically why you wish to pursue them in our College. (Please limit your response to 650
words.)
When 6:35 AM alarm rings, I find myself considering the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility--if
I hit the snooze button, will my eight minutes of fragmented slumber garner more utility than
a fresh-brewed cup of coffee? The trend continues throughout the day: with the release of
the newest Yeezys, I contemplate bounded rationality. Though the sneakers scarcely justify
the price tag of $550, the rapidly-depleting supply almost overwhelms my rational decision-
making capabilities: textbook behavioral economics. As soon as I realized that my daily
decisions could be explained by economics, I was determined to learn more.
To many, the subject conjures images of stockbrokers painstakingly laboring over Excel
spreadsheets; it’s easy to forget it governs our everyday lives. Half a century ago, the
creation of the unassuming mortgage-backed security set the stage for the global 2008
Recession. Simultaneously, the power of economics can be awe-inspiring: Muhammad
Yunus’ work with microfinance pioneered new ways to address global poverty. Studying AP
Economics, participating in countless rounds of debate both in and outside the United States,
self-studying courses like Professor Chetty’s Using Big Data to Solve Economic and Social
Problems, and managing the budget of our schools debate team taught me that market
principles govern our world; through my education, I hope to learn how to harness them for
good.
After a summer working for Congressman DeSaulnier, I realized that economics and politics
are intertwined. One of my most memorable projects was preparing a brief on H.R. 4674
(the College Affordability Act)--for two weeks, I scrutinized the social, political, and economic
effects of the legislation, and concluded with a half-hour presentation on my findings to the
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Congressman. In the process, I realized that even seemingly minor pieces of legislation affect
all of society; by helping disenfranchised communities gain access to education, the bill
addresses cyclical poverty at the root. When the Congressman announced he would become
a co-author, it was a personal victory--it cemented my desire to intertwine my passion in
economics with our political process, and learn how to craft innovative legislation designed to
benefit millions.
The College of Arts and Sciences at Cornell is the ideal environment for me to pursue
those passions. As an aspiring Economics major, I’m incredibly excited to learn from world-
renowned economists like Professor Basu. Beyond fascinating courses like Game Theory
and Strategic Economics, which synthesize economics, business, politics, and diplomacy, it
would be a privilege just to attend his office hours and learn from his experience as former
Chief Economist at the World Bank and President of the International Economic Association.
In addition to my classes, I’d love to get involved in the Hatsfield Undergraduate Research
program and further my understanding of how economics can be applied. Papers like
Professor Battaglini’s “The Political Economy of Weak Treaties” are fascinating to read, and
it would be a phenomenal experience to receive mentorship from veterans in the field while
aiding them in their work.
I’d also love to minor in Public Policy, which seems almost tailor-made for my own career
goals; the synthesis of an unparalleled education in the fundamentals of economics with
courses designed to help students craft tangible policy would literally be a dream come true.
Programs like Cornell in Washington promise the opportunity to get hands-on experience
from Capitol Hill itself. I’d be more than happy to use my education in a Congressional
Committee and get an insider perspective on the steps that go into developing, amending,
and passing legislation. The College of Arts and Sciences combines that with a robust
undergraduate community, which offers unique opportunities to collaborate with a large
student body and start developing a professional network--whether I’m catching a game of
ice hockey or participating in Dragon Day, I know there’ll never be a dull moment. All in all,
Cornell promises four truly life-changing years--I can’t wait to become a member of the Big
Red community.
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Cornell Essay Example

Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to
you. Why will Cornell’s College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to
pursue your interests? (Please limit your response to 650 words.)
My happiness can be graphed on quadrants with two axes of biology and psychology. The
closer to the origin in the center, the happier I am.
The day before winter break, my AP Biology teacher wrote me the most adorable greeting
card; as a dual-enrolled student completing a special curriculum and serving as her assistant
grading piles of paperwork, it wasn’t special treatment at all! But what made my day was the
bacteriophage. The top of the card included a little cartoon, “a dreidle with spider legs” one
friend dryly commented. I ran around showing it to all who cared to listen. I was tickled by my
teacher’s representation of a dangerous virus that hijacks a bacteria’s ability to reproduce
itself.
I also loved the card because it shows that my biology teacher understands my joy in
learning about unusual diseases. My current personal fascination is kuru -- caused by
prions, mysterious misfolded proteins that produce degenerating nervous tissue and end in
certain death. Scary, I know. Kuru folds into its realm fascinating symptoms, crazy laughter
and slowing movement. It is also anthropologically significant: given that it was historically
respectful to consume one’s relatives in parts of Papua New Guinea, the gender practices of
this ritual adversely affected women and children. It is that nexus of biology and culture that
fascinates me.
Magazine subscriptions became my gateway to my eventual academic study of psychology.

Reader’s Digest, with its articles on happiness (diminishing marginal utility!) and the
dangers of energy drinks (poor teenage brains!), evolved into an obsession: hours at the
library flipping through Psychology Today. Between those glossy covers were hours of
entertainment: stories of narcissists and psychopaths, of test-taking mindsets between
pessimism and optimism, giving me a view beyond the you-like-pink-so-you-must-be-bubbly
world of American Girl. That interest survives in my free time reading and my choice of an
eventual major.
Taking AP Psychology allowed me to bring my private reading into classroom discussion.

I loved talking about the ethics and design of psychological studies. I had read about the
Asch conformity tests, had seen the videos of the experiment. When my teacher set up
the experiment with three classmates as subjects and the rest of us as confederates, two
subjects did not conform; I still wonder why our ratio of nonconformity was lower than Asch
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had found. Could it be a trait of the magnet population and experience or the fact that we
weren’t great liars?
Cornell’s Biology and Society major combines interdisciplinary studies from the sciences and
humanities. In viewing biological concerns from a sociocultural perspective, it connects my
love of disease and psychology and addresses a subset I find to be necessary - the ethical
aspects.
In particular, neuroethics appeals to me in speaking to child abuse; having encountered

situations of reportable child abuse multiple times during my work with Teen Line, a crisis
hotline at which I volunteer, I am particularly interested to learn more about the aftermath.
What happens after I’ve called Child Protective Services? Those of us at Teen Line never
know the end result. Would the child be placed in foster care or with a relative? Would the
child, whose life began in endangerment, thrive in a loving environment? We never know.
But what I can learn is how abuse has affected the child neurologically, how it may manifest
in adulthood, and perhaps even what can be done to counter it. The idea that abnormal
reactions derive from social contexts can be expanded by studying biochemistry; research
about the lack of a neurotransmitter uptake or the presence of potential genetic markers may
explain the seeming irrationality behind mental disorders and may, hopefully, lessen the social
stigma.
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STANFORD UNIVERSITY ESSAYS

As a consistently top-ranked university, Stanford receives thousands of applications each
year. This makes it even harder to stand out.
You’ll notice that Stanford’s essays span a bit broader than the question of “why Stanford.”
They also include “short takes”—short responses that ask students to address a broad
question with a limited word count. However, a short essay should take just as much
consideration as a longer one. Think carefully about what Stanford means to you and why
you would succeed there. Then, use the essay prompts to show Stanford how you would
enrich their community.
Stanford Short Takes #1
What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50)
AUTHOR 1
The deterioration of political and personal empathy. There’s been an aggressive devaluing
of inclusive mindsets and common ground rules—the kind of solidarity of purpose necessary
to accommodate divergent viewpoints, respect evidence, share burdens, and tackle
national/international emergencies like climate change and immigration. We are fumbling—in
backwards tribalism—while the world burns.
AUTHOR 2
Where’s Waldo books.
By searching for Waldo, we subconsciously teach children that certain people aren’t meant to
belong--they are meant to be hunted. Our brains may be hardwired to notice people who are
different, but we are instructed to treat those people differently.
Searching for Waldo must be consciously unlearned.
AUTHOR 3
Ignorance poses a paradoxical issue: we can’t solve a problem that we don’t know exists.
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For fifteen years, I heard gentrification and thought humanitarian. The Oxford English
Dictionary had even taught me that gentrification means “positive change.” How can such
atrocities become noticed when our perceptions are so skewed?
How did you spend your last two summers? (50)
Learned to drive; internship in Silicon Valley (learned to live alone and cook for myself!);
Governor’s Honors Program; AAJA JCamp in Detroit; wrote articles for The Borgen Project;
lobbied at the Capitol and met Rep. Lucy McBath; Kenyon Review Young Writers in Ohio; read
a whole lot
What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? (50)
AUTHOR 1
Valentina Tereshkova’s 1963 spaceflight. Tereshkova’s skill, grit, and persistence carried her
from working in a textile factory, through grueling tests and training, to becoming the first
woman to fly solo in space. Her accomplishment remains symbolic of women’s empowerment
and the expanded progress that’s possible with equity in STEM opportunities.
AUTHOR 2
In 2001, Egyptian authorities raided a gay nightclub, arresting 55 men. The prosecutors tried
them under fujur laws—initially passed by Egyptian nationalists to counter British ‘immorality’
during colonization.
Watching the prosecution construct homosexuality as un-Egyptian would illustrate the extent
anti-Western sentiment drove homophobia and how similar anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric remains
today.
AUTHOR 3
Most definitely Paganini’s legendary one-stringed performance; one-by-one, his violin strings
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snapped mid-performance until he was left with only the G-string. Being Paganini, he simply
continued to play flawlessly all on that single string!
What five words best describe you? (5)
AUTHOR 1
Speak up. Take action. Together.
AUTHOR 2
Peter Parker meets Atticus Finch
When the choice is yours, what do you read, listen to, or watch? (50)
AUTHOR 1
Read: The New York Times, Vox, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, Quora. Favorite authors
include Siddhartha Mukherjee, Atul Gawande, Dushka Zapata, and Zora Neale Hurston.
Listen: This American Life, The Daily, Radiolab, Invisibilia, U.S. and French pop.
Watch: The Good Place, Brooklyn 99, YouTube science, baking, and fingerstyle guitar videos.
AUTHOR 2
Read: On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, The Wendigo, How To Write an Autobiographical
Novel, Night Sky With Exit Wounds, Brainpickings.org weekly newsletter
Listen: Shostakovich, Lauv, Atlas, 20-hour-rain soundtrack on Spotify
Watch: Avatar, Forrest Gump, Schindler’s List, Hachi (if in the mood to cry), any Marvel
movie!
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Name one thing you are looking forward to experiencing at Stanford. (50 word limit)
I live by my motto: “Dare!” in all instances of Truth or Dare.
Apparently, so do the students who brave Secret Snowflake. It spotlights what I love most,
Truth or Dare minus the truth. Will I attempt to break the jalapeno eating record? Hop into
The Claw in sub-zero temperatures?
Imagine you had an extra hour in the day — how would you spend that time? (50)
AUTHOR 1
I’d split my hour two ways, investing time in my own wellbeing and in others. Half I’d spend
baking treats for friends, which would double as a personal gift, since I find baking—like
running—relaxing and restorative. The second half I’d spend answering Quora questions—
something I’ve been meaning to pay forward.
AUTHOR 2
At eight, I dreamed of becoming a YouTuber, documenting life in rectangular video. Each
year, this dream drew further from reach.
With extra time, I’d retrieve what time stole. Creating comedic skits or simply talking about
my day, I’d pursue what I value most—making others laugh and capturing beautiful moments.
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Stanford Full Length Response Essays
Stanford Essay Example #1:
The Stanford community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom.
Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning. (100 to
250 words)*
From my earliest days, I have been a storyteller. I have imagined futuristic worlds where
climate change has turned plants carnivorous, or where simulation technology has allowed us
to learn history by experiencing it. But of all of these worlds that I write into stories, there is
one in particular that captivates me:
“Which face should I get? I’m debating between these two, but I think I like the nasal bridge
on this one more.”
In this futuristic world, people shop for faces that can be affixed with a head transplant. The
people simply browse through a catalog and choose from the available options in the way
we might shop for wedding cakes. Following the transplant procedure, one’s previous head is
added to the catalog for purchase by the next buyer.
The idea seems completely bizarre.
That is, until we begin to more carefully consider the present. On Earth, beauty sways society,
leading to the emergence of cosmetic surgery as one of the fastest-growing industries. Here,
rapid scientific advancement trumps every earthly limitation, and scientists have recently
completed the first successful head transplant on a monkey.
These considerations coalescing, my bizarre idea suddenly comes to life. What is to say that,
in 100 years or so, we won’t break the barriers of cosmetic limitations and wear a head that
we weren’t born with? The idea terrifies me, but perhaps that is why I am so drawn to it:
Science eliminates limitations. It is already eliminating the “fiction” in my “science fiction.”
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Stanford Unconventional Essay Example: The Roommate Essay
Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future
roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate – and us –
know you better. (100-250)
AUTHOR 1
In the spirit of inaugurating the life-long relationship I hope we’ll build this year, let me tell you
a little about myself.
Hi, I’m [NAME REDACTED].
I’m the second child of a comically over-optimistic refugee mother (my Vietnamese name
translates, literally, to “celestial being”) and a proud Kentuckian with a deep passion for
student-driven advocacy. I have two parents, two stepparents, a nineteen-year-old sister
(a junior in Product Design, here, at Stanford), a three-year-old half-sister, two cats, one
dog, and a complicated life that spans two households. So, I’m used to sharing space and
managing shifting schedules.
I’ve also always been the “Mom” friend. To me, the little things—a chocolate chip cookie when
I know a friend has a rough day ahead, words of encouragement before a big presentation,
or staying up late to explain a tough physics problem—mean the most. I’ll be there when you
need me—be it studying for tests or navigating personal challenges.
I recycle incessantly and am known to snatch cans out of the trash, wash them, and relocate
them to neighboring blue bins. I keep a regular sleep schedule, rarely going to bed past
midnight or waking up later than 8:30. I’m averse to gyms, opting instead to go for runs in the
morning or follow along to a YouTube workout in the afternoon.
I’m passionate, but also even-keeled. I think life is best taken in stride—worrying has never
gotten me anywhere, but flexibility has taken me everywhere. I look forward to an awesome
year!
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AUTHOR 2
Dear Roomie,
Some disclaimers before we room together:
1. If I arrive before you, don’t be alarmed by the tissue boxes everywhere. My parents made
the conscious decision to expand our cat population despite (or because of) my allergies, and
my four cats probably ambushed my suitcase while I was packing. So don’t be surprised if I
invite you to one-too-many games of Exploding Kittens. It’s me projecting my fantasies, so
please indulge me.
2. Whenever you open a Google Doc around me, change the font to Georgia or Cambria (my
personal favorites). If you’re a seasoned Arial user, you’re likely mindlessly going along with
what everyone else is doing—I get it. But Arial is objectively a bad font; the only acceptable
time to use Arial is if you’re being passive aggressive… and even then, just use comic sans…
(Criticizing people’s font choices is only half my personality, I promise.)
3. You’ll see me embarrassing myself around campus by flailing on the dance floor, doing
improv, or in drag, and I hope to see the same from you. I want to get excited about
everything you’re passionate about-- interests I’ve probably never even thought about
before.
When I’m armed with a bottle of Zyrtec, being my roommate isn’t all bad. I’ll bring copious
amounts of Peach Snapple bottles, probably enough to last the semester. You can take
as many bottles as you want, so long as you leave me the Snapple “Facts”.... I’m an avid
collector.
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AUTHOR 3
Hey Roomie! Yesterday was insane. I still can’t quite get over the energy in that stadium after
that final play. I guess Berkeley couldn’t take back the axe to cut down these Trees!
I’m writing you this since I have an 8:30 Syntax and Morphology with Dr. Gribanov. I know, it’s
early, but that class is honestly worth waking up for. Last Friday, he spent the entire period
rambling about why regardless and irregardless are the same thing, but responsible and
irresponsible aren’t. Just a fun little thought to start your day.
I’m also writing you this as a quick apology. I won’t be back from Mock Trial until late evening,
and then I’ll be practicing for Stanford Symphony auditions. So, if you hear cacophonous
noises in your sleep, it’s most likely me. Plus, it’s Mahler Symphony No. 1, so you might not
sleep much anyway. Kidding.
These next few days are jam-packed, but I’m craving some much-needed bonding time! I
have a proposal: how does a jam session this Friday at Terman Fountain sound? I’ll bring the
guitar and plenty of oldies sheet music, you just gotta bring a snack and the desire to sing!
I’ve sold a few people already. Join us?
Well, I’m headed to breakfast now. Text me if you want me to grab you anything.
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CARNEGIE MELLON ESSAYS

Located in Pittsburgh, Carnegie Mellon offers a wide variety of elite programs in STEM,
humanities, and arts fields alike. As the Carnegie Mellon admissions team reads essays, they
want to see how each student would take advantage of the unique opportunities available at
CMU.
Why Carnegie Mellon Essay Example
Please submit a one page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen
Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay
should include the reasons why you’ve chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work
plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more
than one college or program, please mention each college or program to which you are
applying. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and program,
your essay can impact our final decision.
AUTHOR 1
From my early childhood I had a very high level of interest in the area of drug delivery. I have
always been fascinated by the mechanism of drug molecules being delivered in a sustained
and controlled manner inside the body to reach their therapeutic targets and induce their
desired pharmacological actions in a very safe and effective manner. Scientists now-a-days
are doing research in two major areas in the drug delivery system – first they want to ensure
that the drug molecules can reach their selective tissue targets within the body, and then the
drug can be released in a controlled manner as designed by the drug delivery system. These
drug molecules could either be chemically synthesized compounds or proteins in nature.
The biggest advantage of creating a well-targeted and controlled drug delivery system is that
the amount of drug needed to be incorporated into these delivery systems is much lower
than the conventional delivery systems, like tablets, capsules etc. This lower dose reduces the
toxic side-effects that a drug may inherently have on other body organs. Recently, a lot of
research work is being done on the delivery of proteins. Proteins are macromolecules which
have relatively less toxic side effects since they are built of amino acids. Most of these amino
acids are already present in the body, hence are not foreign to our physiological systems
and thus cause much less toxicity, if any. A major in Chemical and Biomedical Engineering
would help me to achieve my goal of developing a well-controlled drug delivery system using
selected biomaterials so that the incorporated drug can reach directly into the targeted organ
and get released in a very slow manner for an extended period of time to attain the maximum
77
efficacy of the drug.
I am particularly interested in the research work of Dr. Todd Przybycien, Professor at CMU’s
Chemical and Biomedical Engineering department. His research deals with the production,
formulation, and delivery of pharmaceutical proteins generated by the biotechnology
industry. His focus is on protein denaturation, aggregation, and adsorption phenomena that
are probed on the molecular level with spectroscopic, optical, and biophysical tools. One of
his research topics includes overcoming interfacial denaturation in the delivery of proteins
from poly (lactide-co-glycolide) microspheres via the PEGylation of proteins by polyethylene
glycols. This type of polymeric biodegradable microspheres can act as excellent drug delivery
systems that can control the release of drugs in a much sustained manner. Since these
delivery systems are polymeric in nature, the physico-chemical properties of these polymers
can be critically designed and optimized by selecting the right kind of monomer (single unit of
a polymer) and by selecting the proper chemical synthesis route to generate these polymers.
This type of research work fascinates me and I am very interested in pursuing a research
project like this at CMU.
AUTHOR 2
I toss a Jolly Rancher to Tim, a student in my circuitry class, for presenting the best
breadboard schematic. As the rest of the kids shuffle out, content with their respective
accomplishments, I’m reminded of my first simple series circuit. The logic behind the
placement of the wires excited me. The troubleshooting required when I wasn’t met with
success filled me with purpose. Later, the power to utilize my Arduino to power code into my
projects rendered my options limitless.
As a student at Carnegie Mellon, I want to combine my longstanding passion for

electrical engineering with my extracurricular research of biomimicry. My introduction to
biomimicry began with the simple realization that all around me lies genius in its purest form.
Genius, in my eyes, lies in nature—in animals, plants, and microbes. Both their successes, seen
as living proof, and failures, found in fossils, speak volumes about 3.8 billion years of natural
research. Thus biomimicry, the practice of applying designs and processes from nature to
engineering, became the basis not only of my scholastic interest outside of school but also of
my future academic goals. Ultimately, I’d like to research and develop solar cells, applying a
“biomimicry” approach by replicating the wings of rose butterflies.
Carnegie Mellon’s College of Engineering emerged as an evident bastion of progress in

an area so important to me. Take Howie Choset, a revered professor whose research in the
mimicry of rattlesnakes has allowed him to control the movement of robots. Or Ziv BarJoseph,
78
a student who applied decision-making in flies to computational problem solving, I have no

doubt I’d find a home to explore the intersection of electrical engineering and environmental
studies. While I may not bump into these people as an undergrad, this notion of Carnegie
Mellon as a powerhouse not merely for education but also for innovation—apparent after
discussing with alumni and through CMU’s Engineering mission statement, “…to research
pioneering solutions to global challenges…”—passes master. I’d be able to collaborate with
professors, potentially even through the Honors Research program, to advance my ideas
even as an undergraduate student; this is a privilege that’s frankly harder to find at other
highly-respected institutions.
Furthermore, while I understand the increased difficulty in pursuing studies in separate

colleges at CMU, the prospect of working toward both an electrical engineering major and
environmental studies minor with the Mellon College of Sciences) is appealing to me. Pursuing
biomimicry with solar cells makes working at the intersection of electrical engineering
and environmental studies crucial. And while work commitments have limited my ability
to engage in formal research in lab, at Carnegie Mellon, researching and developing solar
cells wouldn’t just be some hypothetical idea. Beginning with course 12-712, Introduction to
Sustainable Energy, I’d establish a baseline for my studies and frankly determine if this is
what still captivates me on an academic level. I can write pages about my current research in
biomimicry and solar cells, but until I actually study the core of it at CMU, I can’t claim to have
my path fully laid-out. What’s truly exciting, though, is that even before engaging in research
to identify and successfully replicate the proteins that the butterflies utilize to make the
holes on their wings, I can apply for an Honors Research program. Here, I can build a base in
research, which might begin with Professor Chowet’s currently available research opportunity
to study “biologically-inspired robots.” By grounding myself in the same principles of
biomimicry I’d use in my own research, this would be an incredible opportunity to learn from
the brightest in the field.
My fascination with electrical engineering began taking apart computers, and it’s
evolved into seeking change in the world around me. It’s what compels me to form a petition
insisting that the electromagnetism portion of the Physics C exam be taught at my high
school and continues to draw me back to teaching a curriculum that I wrote before knowing
what the term “engineering” encompassed—certainly before knowing I’d want to study it in
college. But now I know: this is what drives me. And what better place to pursue that passion
than at Carnegie Mellon?
79
UNIVERSITY OF
CALIFORNIA PERSONAL
INSIGHT QUESTIONS
80
What are the UC Personal Insight Questions?
The UC Personal Insight Questions are essay prompts specific to the University of California
campuses. The UC system does not accept the Common or Coalition Application—instead,
they use their own application system called UC Apply.
There are a total of eight UC Personal Insight Questions. However, you only choose and
complete four of them. All eight UC PIQs are accepted at all of the University of California
schools. Each of the UC essay prompts
Which UC Essay Should I Write?
Narrowing down which PIQs to complete may be challenging—but don’t stress. No single UC
PIQ will make or break your application. Read over the prompts and remind yourself—there is
no wrong choice.
You should select each UC essay prompt based on what you think best reflects your identity,
experiences, and personal circumstances. The most effective essays will be honest and well-
written while allowing your personality to shine through.
UC Personal Insight Question Examples
UC Personal Insight Question Essay Example #1
Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced
others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
Three thousand, four hundred and seventy one dollars. That was the bill for the hotel room
expenses alone for our thirty member excursion. And those were the least of my worries for
the weekend. Between drilling wood pieces into a working frame for Air Trajectory and tying
a knot in floss to build a pendulum, I was running down the halls, talking to worried parents on
the phone, anatomy textbook in hand. The other captains study while I ensure everyone eats
dinner and sleeps by 2am, responsible as the school’s sole legal representative for ensuring
typical high school shenanigans of music blasting didn’t manifest into real danger. Despite
the challenges, I love how self-sufficient we are. North Hollywood students are greeted with
an association of, “Aren’t you that school that crushes us in Science Olympiad?” followed by
a joking, “Stop!” We don’t have a single adult teaching us, whether in learning to use power
tools or conducting flame tests.
81
As the only member of the Science Olympiad team with four years of experience, I carry
weight with seniority and position, but also a nostalgia for friendships dimmed as team
members graduate. When others concentrated solely on performing well at competition, I
couldn’t disagree however heart-wrenching it felt — but I wanted a strong team dynamic, a
home for us at school. So I worked on producing it, forming mentorship programs, pairing up
freshmen with upperclassmen in events. Whether teaching about mosquito reproduction in
standing water or the equivalent of a statistics course I had yet to take, my own enthusiasm
seeping into a bobbing ponytail, all I hope for is a continuation of the “FamilyOly” I’ve grown
to love.
Science Olympiad was a microcosm of the larger school, where competition ran in the very
veins of the institution. But to me, it had become a family evolving with my role, from the little
sister of the team to finally the senior captain.
Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving,
original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express
your creative side.
440 Hz exactly. The flames flare to life, forming the perfect wave length as I transitioned
from note to note, the curves transitioning along. My classmates crowded around as I sang
(shouted?) into the Ruben’s tube, a simple PVC pipe with holes cut at even intervals so that
high notes translated to beautiful waves of flames.
The fight to get a vocal teacher in the first place was an uphill run. Singing, unlike playing the
piano or learning to draw, wasn’t deemed worthy of spending money on – wasn’t even seen
as a skill. After multiple pitches, I finally got my way, just a foot in the door: one month.
It was an odd request from a girl raised to be stringent with money, knowing that a few hours
of lessons was equivalent to a new pair of tennis shoes to replace her mother’s long-broken
in ones. It started with a classmate’s hate list – number 1? Me. For my voice – -the single-most
confusing criterion. I couldn’t change my speaking voice. But in an environment which valued
acapellas and Barbershop choirs, singing – singing I could improve on.
Six years later, I’m still driving down to lessons every week. I haven’t performed outside of
karaokes, I haven’t released recordings to the public, and there’s no record of my voice
anywhere in the public eye. But years of vocal exercises and training has done so much for
me, even outside of music in strengthening tone and amplitude.
82
It wasn’t until high school that I could reap the benefits, not byway of choir, but through
debate. Walking into round meant adopting an entirely new persona, a thick-skinned,
articulate force to be reckoned with. Crossfire was my time to shine, to show how I could
twist their arguments to fit my logic, and win. My best tournament came with a topic that
coincided with my interests – genetically modified foods. In wielding knowledge of biology,
from the damages of fertilizer to individual agricultural efficiency methods, we not only won
all rounds undefeated, but managed to score the top speaker position and of course a trophy
to signify my newly-found voice.
I remember standing in an half empty auditorium, standing far away from the students,
pitching my virtues as a secretary for a middle school honor society. My arguments were
sound, as the first row of students mentioned to me later, nodding along. But with the
counselor repeating, like an endless drone – speak louder, yell – the simple repetition of my
spiel simply lost its use. I sat down with never-mind-eyes cast to the floor, withdrawing from
the election.
What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and
demonstrated that talent overtime?
My chest is burning, my eyes are stinging, and my legs are numb. A thousand thoughts
are passing through my brain, but I cannot grasp any of them. All I can do is keep pushing
forward. Strangely enough, it is this moment when I feel most alive and connected with the
universe. This is my life under water. I have been a swimmer since I was eight years old, for
both a swim club and a high school team. In the water, the stress and anxiety from school
fades away, allowing me to relax in peace and tranquility.
The best swimmers are 5’10” with broad shoulders and huge feet. These characteristics are
advantages during competitions because the athletes are able to move faster in the pool
without being pushed back by the waves. I am not a typical swimmer. I am half- Black and
half- Mexican, topping out at a whopping 5’0″. My skills are not Olympic-bound, but I am
passionate about the sport despite the fact that I initially felt like an outlier.
Even though I used to get lonely when swimming, I found a huge amount of joy in being a
part of the sport at my high school. Our team started off with only six members, most of
whom had never even been to a swim meet before. Eventually we gained enough participants
and experience to compete against other schools. We were neither the largest nor the
fastest team, but I did not care. I had finally found a group of people I connected with. More
83
importantly, I found a group with whom I could share my passion. The daily routine of striving
to perfect our techniques formed a bond between us that resulted in the sense of a family. I
felt honored when I was chosen as captain and MVP; however, my deepest honor was simply
having opportunity to join the team.
After I graduate, I hope that the swim team continues to prosper. Then, maybe it will become
another young girl’s safe haven, the way the sport has always been mine.
What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
“Hi, this is Teen Line, what’s bothering you tonight?” That simple phrase rings through the tiny
room, merely enough space for a few desks and chairs. On one end of the line is a teenager,
sharing stories of anything from the dark dread of depression and anxiety to a plea for a
savior from the downward spiral of suicide. A tearful voice, desperate for help – a girl barely
in high school, suffering at the hands of her “friends” and on the brink of suicide, complete
with a plan to choke herself with a dog leash.
It’s another hard-hitting story for the night, one that affects all the listeners in the room. But
by the end of the hour, we’ve not only managed to get her resources like the National Suicide
Hotline, but also managed to get her laughing. It’s a skill that is extremely hard to master, to
put aside your fears of failure and empathize. To move from a situation edging on a police call
to one with a girl singing songs and laughing at jokes is a seemingly impossible feat that the
volunteers at Teen Line must perform every shift, one that takes a lot of inner strength.
For me, entering Teen Line was an odd activity for a family whose culture did not center
around talking out feelings. Yet, I specifically sought out a suicide hotline in which a high
schooler could participate; it was my chance to give back, to listen and hopefully guide
those who were willing to seek help, an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on. It was an
opportunity to do for others what I could not obtain for myself, and for that I am grateful.
Whether calls from low-income neighborhoods of the nearby Los Angeles to international
Skypes of New Zealand and India, never have I felt more productive. The end of a shift always
left me with the same satisfied feeling of knowing that someone who needed to be heard
was acknowledged, just a small rippling effect on one caller leaving a lifetime’s worth of
impression.
84
COLLEGE
ESSAY FAQS
85
COLLEGE ESSAY FAQS

Now that we’ve gone through some essay examples, let’s address some frequently asked
questions.
How long is a college essay?

Essay length requirements will vary between schools, but they’re generally not long. The
Common App essay requires at least 250 and no more than 650 words, but the University of
California essays are limited to 350 words each. Students should plan to write an essay with
a word count that’s close to the limit, but doesn’t exceed it. Many applications, including the
Common App, will not allow students to submit more than the maximum word count.
How important is a college essay?

The role of the essay will vary by school. At highly selective colleges, the essay is arguably
just as important as the transcript. There is very little to distinguish between the top students
academically, so the essay provides an opportunity to shine. This is where you talk about
yourself as a person, not just a student. Academics are the priority in the admission process,
but admissions officers also look for students who will enrich their community.
For other schools, the essay may play a very minor role in the admission decision. This can
happen at larger universities where admission offices do not have the time or resources to
carefully evaluate your writing. It can also occur for program-specific applications where the
admission office places more emphasis on course progressions and test scores.
When should I start planning my college essay? When should I write my

college essay?
Use the summer before your senior year to brainstorm essay topics and begin drafting.
Ideally, you complete the first draft of your Common App essay by the start of school in
September. This will allow you to focus on your senior year classes and extracurriculars.
How do I pick a topic for my college essay?

Select the topic that interests you most. When you choose to write about something that
excites you, you’ll write a stronger essay.
It’s a common misconception that students need to write an essay on a topic that admissions
86
officers have never seen before. Instead, the focus should be on writing an authentic essay.
The admission committee reads hundreds or even thousands of essays each year. They are
not judging your experiences. Instead, they are evaluating your ability to learn something
from and effectively communicate those experiences. The best way to do that is by choosing
a topic that is meaningful to you.
When is my college essay due?

The essay is due when the application and supporting documents are submitted. If you apply
using the Common App or the Coalition Application, you will submit your essay with your
applications.
How should a college essay be formatted?

The application essay is a formal piece of writing. Your formatting should reflect this. Choose
a standard 12-point font, double space between lines, and make sure to either indent
paragraphs or have extra spaces.
If you draft your essay in Word or Google Docs and then paste it into the application, you will
need to proofread carefully. This process often erases your formatting and can translate it
into to block text or out-of-place characters.
What happens to my college essay after submission?

Once the application is submitted, the essay is converted into a PDF and sent directly to the
colleges connected with your application. The college will receive the file as a PDF and import
it directly into your record. The admission committee will review it in this format. Once you
click the submit button, you cannot make any changes to the document.
Who reads my college essay?

Your essay will be read by the admissions committee, which includes admissions counselors
and, in some cases, professors. Typically, the counselor who either works with students from
your area or evaluates applications for your intended major will be the first person to read
your application. At large universities, this may be the only person to see your application.
At smaller schools, your application will likely undergo a more rigorous process including a
second review and a committee discussion.
What are college essay readers looking for?

Essay readers first look to make sure that the student has an understanding of the basic
87
mechanics of writing. A great essay will show a powerful command of the English language
where each word supports the storyline. Don’t worry about using complex language (avoid
the thesaurus trap!) Instead, use vocabulary that describes your experiences accurately and
vividly. The admission committee wants to hear the student’s voice throughout the entire
essay.
Next, they want to see that the student answered the question. Are they telling a story from
start to finish, or are they reflecting on an experience and sharing what they learned about
themselves? The best essays show a deeper level of thinking and reflection when addressing
the topic.
What college essay topics should I avoid?

As a general rule, don’t share something with the admission committee that you would not
share with your family over dinner. Remember, the application readers are looking for a
good academic fit, but they are also trying to determine if you are a good social fit for their
community.
You want to avoid topics that are too personal that may lead the committee to question your
ability to succeed. The essay is your opportunity to shine among thousands of applicants
- writing about a highly personal experience in a negative or questionable way is a missed
opportunity.
Can a college essay be funny?

Yes, but be careful. When done well, writing a funny essay can be an effective way to share
your sense of humor with the committee. However, like sarcasm, humor doesn’t always
translate through the computer screen. Plan to have several other people read your essay
and see if they understand the tone. A good rule to follow is to simply allow your natural
voice to come through. If you’re funny in person, then there is a good chance that the humor
will shine through.
Can a college essay be too personal?

Yes. Again, if you’re writing about something that you would not discuss at the dinner table,
then the topic is likely too personal. Your essay will be evaluated by people whose job is to
find students who will be a good fit for their institution both academically and socially. You
should choose a topic that allows the admission committee to see that you are a good fit.
If you think your essay might be too personal, re-read it and then ask yourself what the
88
reader learns about you. Are you highlighting your strengths? If not, pick another topic.
Can a college essay be about anything?

Students can write about any topic they choose as long as it directly relates to the question
in the prompt.
Can a college essay be informal?

No. Students should think of the essay as a tool to help differentiate themselves from the
other candidates. It is a formal piece of writing that is meant to highlight their thinking, writing
and communication skills. So, admission officers expect to see polished pieces of writing.
Using an informal tone can impact your application negatively.
Are there any college applications without an essay?

There are some colleges that do not require an essay with the application. For example, some
large universities receive a high number of applications but have limited resources to evaluate
them. Other schools may choose to not require an essay as a way to attract more applicants
to their institution.
Can I use quotations in my college essay?

You may include quotes in your essay, though you should use them minimally. Using quotes
introduces a different voice when the applicant should be highlighting their own voice.
Most applications have a maximum word count that students may find restrictive, and using
quotations limits your voice even further.
What should I do if my college essay is too long?

Most applications will not allow you to submit essays that exceed the word limit, so watch the
word count closely. If your essay is too long, read it out loud so you find sentences that are
phrased awkwardly or don’t directly support your topic. Are you over-explaining? Did it take
you five sentences to say something that could have been said in two?
If you make these changes and you’re still over the word limit, put it aside for a week or two
and come back to it. Viewing it through a fresh lens can help you see exactly what to change.
89
How do I find a college essay tutor or someone to help me with my essay?

The admission committee expects to read a highly polished piece of writing, showing that
you’ve given the essay considerable time and thought.
While school counselors and English teachers can fine-tune the writing mechanics,
CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts can help strategize ways to create an attention
catching essay. Plus, students using the Platinum and Ivy Plus packages can work with a
former admissions officer to learn exactly how an admissions committee would evaluate their
writing.
Call (844) 343-6272 to learn more or visit CollegeAdvisor.com
Personalized and effective college advising for high school students.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION TO COLLEGE ESSAYS 5

Why do college essays matter in the admissions process?

Characteristics of the Best College Essays

So, what are the common characteristics of strong college essays?

HOW COLLEGEADVISOR.COM CAN HELP

The Common App essay prompts for 2022-2023 include:

Common App Essay Example #1 - Finn

Common App Essay Example #2 - Elinor

Common App Essay Example #3 - Arham

“No, she’s a Democrat!” “Obama was born in Kenya!”

Common App Essay Example #4 - Jacqueline

Common App Essay Example #5 - Abbie

“There’s something I’d like to say.”

COMMON APP ESSAY CHECKLIST

As you write your own Common App essay, use the

▢ Does my essay start with a “hook” that grabs the

BEYOND THE COMMON APP ESSAY:

Common supplemental essay prompts include:

COLUMBIA SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAYS

Columbia Short Response Essays

Columbia Short Essay #1:

Columbia Short Essay #2:

L’Étranger-Albert Camus (AP Lang): Existentialism. Interesting read. It really made me

Columbia Short Essay #3:

Columbia Short Essay #4:

Entertainment news: Buzzfeed and Kenh14 (a Vietnamese newsite)

Another website I follow regularly is Time Out Madrid (www.timeout.com/madrid). It helps me

Columbia Short Essay #5:

Columbia Long Response Essays

Columbia Short Essay #1:

Columbia Short Essay #2:

Like us, an American-Lebanese-Colombian family living in Madrid, my extended family all

NEW YORK UNIVERSITY

Why NYU Essay

University of Chicago Standard Essay Example

Beyond an unparalleled education, UChicago boasts an incredible student body. Whether

University of Chicago Unconventional Essay Example

University of Chicago Essay Example #1:

So convinced, in fact, that those closest to me have picked up on my idiosyncratic neurosis.

University of Chicago Essay Example #2:

Segregation, discrimination, isolation; so many “tion”s can be attributed to our sense of

University of Michigan Why School & Why Major Essay Example

UPenn Why Major Essay Example #1

Gradually, economics also became a cornerstone of my day-to-day life. Now, when my

perfect opportunity to intertwine those passions. I appreciate Wharton’s holistic approach

In addition to my passion for electricity and circuitry, I am deeply interested in biomimicry,

UPenn Essay Example #2

JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY ESSAY

I am particularly interested in Environmental Engineering discipline. Presently earth’s

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY ESSAY

Georgetown University Essay Example #1

Georgetown University Essay Example #2

While exploring the rocky coast of Maine, I embrace every experience as an

Georgetown University Essay Example #3

In addition, Georgetown’s proximity to Washington, D.C., would provide the ideal

Georgetown University Essay Example #4

In the summer of 2013, my family and I embarked on a whirlwind tour of seventeen

To Georgetown’s diverse and vibrant multinational community, I would be very proud to

Finally, I am also very attracted to Georgetown’s location in Washington, D.C., a city

CORNELL UNIVERSITY ESSAYS

Cornell Essay Example

Cornell Essay Example