The Kraken’s Mate

Book 2: Iriduan Test Subjects

By Susan Trombley
 Copyright © 2018 by Susan Trombley

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any
means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the
written permission of the author.

Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents,
organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Book cover design by www.jdandj.com

 Chapter 1
JOANIE
When the pain grew too great, I retreated into memory, but I had to be
careful where I tread. There were minefields in my past, and one wrong step
on memory lane could send me into deeper suffering than anything these
aliens did to me.
In one of my favorite memories, I recalled a casino. Not an unusual
place for me, since I grew up in Las Vegas. I’ve spent far too much time in
casinos. Yet this memory stood out starkly, allowing me to escape the cold,
sterile prison where I was kept—the prison where needles constantly
pierced my skin and machines forever probed my body. I was pretty certain
they were injecting me with venom. I also suspected they’d been
deliberately infecting me with some sort of virus or bacteria. Whenever I
was returned to my cell, I was either very sick, or wracked with agony. I
didn’t know why, and I didn’t care. All I knew was that my mind would
have snapped long before now, if I didn’t have the memories.

“Joanie!” My mother waved from across the grand entrance to the

casino, and I saw her despite the ever-flashing lights of the slot machines
and the crowds of eager tourists rushing to lose their money. I understood
that eagerness far too well.
I wove my way through the crowd towards her, barely restraining my
urge to break into a run. It’d been nearly a year. She looked good—far
better than I’d expected. Europe had been good to her. So, too, had her new
husband. I shouldn’t have been jealous, and for the most part, I wasn’t, but
a part of me resented the fact that he had taken her away from me. She was
happy—for the first time in ages—and I was a rotten daughter to begrudge
her that simply because I wanted my mother all to myself.
But she was finally back in Vegas. For a couple of weeks only, but I
looked forward to spending them with her. It would be like old times. Just
the two of us. Brandon couldn’t make this trip with her, and as much as I
liked him, I was happy his work held him up in London.
I threw my arms around her and hugged her tight. “Hey, Mom. How
was the trip? You should have let me pick you up at the airport.”
 She returned my hug for a moment, then released me, taking a step
back to look me over with a wide smile on her face. People thought she was
my sister, she looked so young. She was so young, but I could still see the
age creeping over her skin. Not from years, but from life experience. “Don’t
worry about it. The traffic at McCarren’s insane. I sprung for a limo. It was
a better ride than that beat-up old El Camino you’re driving.”
My fingers toyed with the stretched-out collar of my tee-shirt as I
avoided her eyes. “I sold that to a collector. I’m riding the bus for now. I
would have arranged to borrow a friend’s car, though.”
She sighed, brushing my riotous curls off my forehead. “Oh, Joanie.
What happened this time?”
I didn’t want to waste this precious time with her rehashing old
ground. We were going to have fun. After all, we were in Vegas. It was so
good to see her that I didn’t let my fear of disappointing her bother me.

Sometimes, the pain was too hard to ignore. It dug in with claws and
teeth and tore at my insides. The venom. I could feel it eating away at my
flesh from the injection sites. I’ve learned to stop looking at my arms and
legs, because there was horror in the sight of the dark lines spreading under
my pale skin—skin far more washed-out than it had been when I lived in
the sunny southwest.
In those moments—or maybe they were hours, or days, or weeks—
even memories of my mother weren’t enough to allow me to escape.
Instead, I clung to consciousness, biting off my screams of pain, rocking
back and forth on the floor of the cell, as if movement would speed the rate
of the fire burning up my insides. Speed it enough to kill me.
They wouldn’t let me die, though. The aliens weren’t keeping me
alive because they liked me and wanted to help me. I sincerely doubted they
would ever let me go. At some point, their experiments would end, and so,
too, would I. No doubt on some cold slab in one of the laboratories I’d been
shuttled to by the terrifying robots that escorted me everywhere when I was
outside of my cell or the labs.
Eventually, the pain faded enough that I could slip back into
memories, but the aliens didn’t let me stay there for long. Soon enough, the
door of my tiny cell beeped, and I tensed, instantly alert. Knowing what
was coming.
 The door slid open, revealing a robot on the other side. The thing was
like a faceless mannequin from a clothing boutique. It had the shape of a
human, but there was no mistaking it for one. It was made of a shiny white
material, with black rubber-like pieces covering the joints. Sometimes, it
would speak to me, but only to give orders. When it did, it had a tinny,
mechanical voice.
My body still ached, but the fire had died down to embers. Whatever
poison they’d put in my system was leaving it. I suspected they put an
antivenin in at the same time, or directly after. I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t
believe my own immune system was enough to get rid of it.
This point in the process was usually about the time the robot came,
and I held out my shaky hand for the food bar it carried. Without a word, it
handed it to me.
I pulled it close to my chest, cradling it like a lifeline. “No steak and
lobster today? This place is really going downhill.” My voice was little
more than a ragged croak.
The robot didn’t respond to my words, nor did I expect it to. Instead,
its body turned one hundred and eighty degrees, its head remaining fixed on
me—one of the many things that freaked me out about these robots. Its face
—or the blank mask that I assumed was a face—never turned away from
me as it stepped out of the cell. The door closed behind it.
My stomach ached too much for food, but I ate the bar anyway. I
knew better than to resist. I’d tried to starve myself once, and only once.
Waking up with a feeding tube shoved down my throat changed my mind
about such a drastic plan of escape.
After food came rest. I knew I would have at least some time to sleep.
They always let me sleep after my time in the lab. I guess they wanted to
ensure that my body was healthy before starting up the next experiment.
When I awoke, I had no idea how much time had passed, but I felt
significantly better. I felt too good. I feared that another session would be
coming soon. The best way to delay was to appear weakened. I groaned and
moaned as I slid off the cot that jutted out of one wall, limping the two steps
it took to settle myself on the toilet.
My urine burned coming out, but I ground my teeth, clutching the
sides of the toilet bowl, knowing that if I looked into the water, I’d see that
it was pink with blood. In the beginning, this had terrified me, but after so
many sessions that I’d lost count, I accepted it as normal.
As soon as I stood up, the toilet flushed. I scowled at the door,
muttering “I hoped you enjoyed the show, assholes.”
More time passed, and I spent it in memories. The good ones.
Sometimes tripping over a bad one as I walked down into the rabbit hole. I
was dancing at a nightclub with my friend Larissa when the lights went out.
Not the ones in the nightclub. The ones in my cell.
This had never happened before. When emergency lights flickered on
along the floor, I rose slowly to my feet, staring at those beacons in the
darkness. I crept towards the door, stepping lightly as if I might set off
whatever it was that was keeping me in this dream. Nothing changed when
I cautiously reached out and pressed my hand against the smooth surface of
the door. It felt cool against my cheek when I rested my ear against it,
listening—as I had so many times before—and again hearing nothing but
my own heartbeat.
I gasped and jumped backwards when the door suddenly slid open,
the cot hitting the backs of my knees so that I collapsed on top of it. Beyond
my little cell, the corridor was dark, illuminated only by a row of
emergency lights just like the ones in my cell.
I stared into that darkness. Waiting. Fearing. This looked like a way
out. An escape from my hell. But what if it was a trap? A new experiment.
A new and different hell.
I’d seen the corridor beyond my cell many times. Always well-lit,
always empty except for me and my robot escort—and a bunch of
unmarked doors. Some of which led to labs, where I’d been strapped down
and tortured.
Now it was dark, and somehow even scarier than when I’d known
what nightmare awaited me.
I heard a voice whispering in the darkness beyond my cell. The sound
was harsh in the heavy silence. “Hello? Is anyone else there?”
The ability to breathe escaped me as I jumped to my feet, recognizing
the voice—the language—as human. “I’m here!” I almost cried, holding
back the tears with a force of will I didn’t know I had left. “I’m here!” I said
just a little louder, afraid the owner of that voice would move on, passing
me by, leaving me alone in this place.
 A shadowy figure paused outside my door, then stepped further into
the light cast by my emergency lights. The way they illuminated her face
concealed her features in macabre shadows, but she was human. So human
that I almost grabbed her in a hug, dissolving into grateful tears.
Instead of doing that, I held onto the last shreds of my control, fearing
that if I touched her, she would disappear like the people in my memories
always did. “Hi.” What else did one say in this situation? I held up a hand
in a half-hearted wave, not trusting myself with any further words. Not yet.
I still struggled to contain the tears, and the fear—fear that none of this was
real, that I was hallucinating, and that I would wake up on another table in
yet another lab.
Her face, twisted by shadows cast from under-lighting, broke into a
relieved smile, then a small laugh as she stepped towards me, reaching out
to me as if she, too, wanted the contact to see if I was real, but was afraid I
wasn’t. “Are you human?”
“Last time I checked, but I haven’t seen a mirror in a while.” I
exhaled in a forced chuckle, wondering if my joke might not be half true.
Who knew what the aliens had done to me?
She did touch me then, her fingers just lightly brushing my tangled
curls, reminding me of my mother. “You’re real.” Her voice sounded
breathless. “I checked all the other cells that I passed and there was no one
in any of them. I thought I was alone.”
I nodded, suddenly feeling a sense of great urgency. I had no idea
why the door was open, the lights were off, and this other woman was free
to wander, but I was guessing that the aliens weren’t going to let that slide
for long. We had to get moving. Where, I didn’t know, but I just wanted out.
Now.
I grabbed the other woman’s arm and pulled her out of my cell.
She followed without hesitation, perhaps coming to the same
realization I had, but she couldn’t seem to stop talking, her words tumbling
out in a breathless rush. “My name is Theresa, what’s yours?”
“Joanie,” I said as I scanned the corridor, searching for the telltale
silhouette of the robots in the darkness. Even in the light, I feared the sight
of them. In the darkness, I wasn’t certain I could handle it.
Theresa followed me down the corridor as we checked each cell,
finding them empty. She passed me when I froze, my eyes fixed on one
door in particular. Unlike the others, it was still sealed shut. It was one of
the doors that I’d suffered behind. I didn’t want to walk past it. When she
grabbed my arm, tugging me towards the turn of the hallway, my mind
retreated from that place, shrinking away, barely able to remain aware as I
wanted to hide in good memories.
We met other women. I vaguely caught their names as I slipped in and
out of awareness. They seemed more alert than I was. Less afraid. I couldn’t
imagine why. One of them had waist-length black hair with dyed-purple
ends and a determined expression on a face that looked to be younger than
mine by nearly a decade. I was jealous of her confidence, but also relieved.
She seemed to know what to do.
Only she didn’t. None of us did. There were four of us, and the only
idea we had was to avoid the robots. So much for group brainstorming.
They talked. I barely listened, my mind wandering—trying to run and
hide. I heard the exhilarating ring of a jackpot, and pictured the flashing
lights. Felt the excitement. Then I realized it was an alarm, and I was aware
again. Aware of where I was. I didn’t want to be there anymore. Without
real thought, I found a place to hide now for real. Like a child hides from
the Boogeyman, only nothing could stop these nightmares. They just kept
on coming, and the other women were pulling on me. Demanding I go
where I didn’t want to. Demanding I move, even though the alarm was
driving me insane.
I’m not here. I’m not here. I’m not here.
I was on the floor, and that horrible dog whimpering sound came
from my throat. Someone rubbed my back, soothing, reminding me of
Mom. When I was a girl, the fighting in the next hotel room would grow
loud enough to invade my dreams, until I awakened in a cold sweat. Mom
would be there, rubbing my back, her breath smelling of cheap alcohol, her
body of cigarettes and strange men. Her mascara would be trailing down
her cheeks from tears that she tried to hide from me, but she was there.
Always there. Until the end—a senseless death that could have been
avoided.
A new nightmare arose out of the shadows behind the warrior-
woman. I remembered that her name was Claire, and she was fierce. Braver
than me. She turned to face the monster at her back, and then rushed into its
clutches with a shout of defiance.
 Someone screamed. Then we were running. Leaving the fighter
behind with the monster. My feet thumped out the rhythm of my retreat as
the word “coward” bounced around my mind. She’d distracted it so we
could run, and we’d left her to die.
I heard her shouting, but her words were distant and made little sense.
I had completely retreated now into the darkness inside my head. It was
safer there. Like under the covers, where the man who stood on the corner
watching the girls in their school uniforms couldn’t see me.
The other women were fighting me now. Like I was the monster.
Then I realized they wanted to feed me to it—this horror with scorpion
pincers and wings like an insect. Four arms pulled me closer, and I just
knew there was a stinger somewhere, waiting to strike with more venom.
More agony. I screamed and screamed until I lost my breath. Then my
world went black.

*****
I felt like I was riding on a boat, out at Lake Mead, my body
swaying with the water. Smooth, relaxing movement. But the sounds
around me weren’t relaxing. They were violent. Something out of hell.
Usually, the monsters go away when you open your eyes. At least,
the ones that weren’t human. The ones that were human, well, they never
went away unless you hid.
This time, when I opened my eyes, I discovered that the monster
had changed, and I couldn’t decide if it was for the worse or better.
Tentacles curled around me, cradling me, holding me firmly so my
struggles had no effect. But I wasn’t the only one who’d had no effect with
struggling. Bodies littered the ground around the massive creature, many of
them in pieces. Including the robots. So many robots like the ones that had
taken me to my torture time after time.
Ha! Serves them right, the bastards.
Only now, I was the one in danger. I was the next to be pulled to
pieces. This time, I was determined to face my death with dignity. After all,
hadn’t I wanted this? Perhaps not in this violent a manner, but I’d wanted
the peace. The end to pain.
So I didn’t scream as the tentacle monster lifted me up, pulling me
closer to its upper body. Instead, I stared at it speechlessly, feeling frozen in
the moment, as if the creature and I were part of a painting, one to be
studied at all angles.
Perhaps my mind had truly snapped, because there was a surreal
quality about that moment that made the danger I was in seem distant. That
feeling left me with the boldness to openly study the monster that held me.
It looked almost human above the waist. Only humans weren’t usually so
handsome. Not outside of magazine ads. The eyes though, they weren’t
human—eerie, cold, curious, shiny—like blown-glass paperweights—
beneath long lashes that would put a mascara model to shame.
Its upper body wasn’t much larger than that of a pro wrestler—or a
very big football player. The musculature of that upper body was
impressive, and I marveled that I could take a moment to admire it, even in
the face of my imminent death.
At what should have been the waist, the webbing—the part of the
body that linked all the tentacles to the monster’s upper body— began, and
it took up a lot of space on its own, so that the top of the creature’s head to
the bottom of the webbing looked to be around six feet, leading to a mass of
writhing tentacles. I couldn’t count them, they moved so much, but they
were big, and much longer than the upper body. Each one was long enough
to wrap around me several times, as an array of suckers tugged on my
exposed flesh.
Suddenly, I heard a different quality of sound that snapped me out of
my trancelike state. A huge vault door slid open to my side, and I caught its
movement out of the corner of my eye. Then the tentacle monster
swallowed me.
 Chapter 2
NEMON

I didn’t think I could trust Thrax. I was almost certain he planned to

betray me, or at least go back on his word to find me a mate, so it was with
some surprise that I accepted his gift when he came running into the middle
of battle carrying her. He’d actually brought me a mate and handed her right
to me, thrusting her into my tentacles as if he couldn’t wait to be rid of the
burden.
Looking at her, I couldn’t understand why he would ever give her
away. She was fascinating. Her hair curled like the waves just before they
crashed upon the beach, her skin was as pale as the moonlight, her body as
soft as a breeze and as fragile as the coral reefs where I’d once made my
home. A home I barely remembered.
But she appeared to be broken, and this time, it was not my fault.
It was too easy to kill the fragile ones—by accident, mostly. Mostly.
My father had told me to be more careful, but they’d changed me so much
that my form felt unwieldy, awkward—wrong. When I clutched something
in my tentacles, I clutched too hard, feeling disconnected from them. It had
taken time to fix that—to grow accustomed to the way this new body
responded, and regain full, fine control over my tentacle arms. Time to
grow accustomed to living as easily outside the water as beneath it—to
breathing air and traveling on land.
Suddenly, my new mate moved, and to my joy, I realized that she
wasn’t actually broken. At least, not completely. Her eyes fluttered open.
Stared at me. I felt her soft body tense in my grip, and willed my tentacles
to relax when they wanted to do the exact opposite. They wanted to squeeze
—to keep her in my grasp so that they could continue to enjoy the taste and
smell of her. I was determined to never harm her. I had more control of this
body now.
Her beautiful eyes studied me, though her gaze slid away from my
lower body. I lifted her above my tentacles, towards the part of me that
didn’t seem to disturb her as much. She was so small that I had no idea how
our bodies would fit together, but she was my mate, so it had to work
somehow. I was certain Thrax had found a way to make things work with
his mate.
I had vague memories of mating before I was captured and changed,
but they’d altered me so much that I wasn’t sure how it would work now.
My genital tentacle had not regrown after they’d cut it off. My father had
reassured me that it would return when I needed it, but I wondered if he’d
lied. He’d been the only one I’d trusted when I’d awoken—frightened and
in pain—inside a tank after they’d captured me from my homeworld. He’d
been kind, concerned, checking over me with a deep frown when he’d
noticed how much I’d suffered.
But Thrax had said Father had lied to me about being free, and
being trapped in the warrens alone with nothing but the eels to keep me
company had not felt like freedom. When I had been down there, my first
attempt to find others like Father to keep me company had ended
disastrously. I’d lost many tentacles that day, and I’d crushed a couple of
Father’s people. The rest had run, abandoning the place to the rust and ruin
that claimed it. And then Thrax and his mate had come along.
Now I had a mate of my own, and she was looking at me as if she
expected me to crush her too. Like the people I’d found in the warrens, she
feared me, and didn’t want to be my companion. If I released her, she would
try to run. Like they had.
My attention was focused on my mate, and on pondering how I
could ease her fear, but I remained peripherally aware of everything
happening in the room. I could sense any movement for as far as my
tentacles could reach. I could taste anything that came into contact with
them, including the air itself. For the most part, they moved on their own,
independent of my conscious thought, snatching up and crushing any threat
before I even had a chance to give them the command. In this most recent
battle, that had been useful.
Some were singed, cut, blood spilling in cobalt-colored streaks to
drip on the floor, but this time, I hadn’t lost any of my tentacles. The fact
that they’d taken my mate so gently from Thrax also told me that they were
getting better at determining the difference between a threat and a friend.
This was a relief. Father had been very disappointed in me whenever I’d
killed someone he didn’t want me to kill.
 My mate wasn’t screaming, but she was still afraid of me. I wanted
to ask Thrax if he’d had the same problem with his mate, but he was
occupied with trying to find us a way out. I trusted him to be successful in
that, because he had incentive.
He did find a way to open the big door, after negotiating with one of
the Iriduan scientists named Ilyan. I could only assume the negotiation
didn’t go well for the Iriduan scientist, since he didn’t leave his security
room. Given how angry Thrax was, I suspected that was for the best.
Though I was curious about all of this, I remained too focused on my mate
and the feel of her in my tentacles to pay close attention to them.
When the door opened, there were enemies behind it, and all of
them had the painful kind of weapons that even my tentacles shied away
from. I still would have killed them to help our escape, but a quick
assessment of the situation told me that my mate would be caught in their
fire if I attacked, so instead, I hid her beneath my webbing, tucking my
tentacles underneath me to surround her in a wall of my flesh. My body
would slow down the stinging missiles from their weapons enough to
protect her.
As for me, I wasn’t easy to kill. Father had told me that. He’d said I
had three hearts that beat inside me, and a distributed nervous system that
allowed me to regenerate with full consciousness if only one of those hearts
kept beating. My enemies had, at best, only been able to inconvenience me.
I stood ready to fight, even with my tentacles cradling my mate
beneath me. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that, because Thrax had a gift for
persuasion. He handed the aliens something he’d taken from his lair back in
the warrens, and it seemed to pacify them.
I couldn’t understand their words, which made me uneasy, since it
meant I had to trust Thrax. I wanted to trust him, since I had no one else,
but he was dangerous. The kind of dangerous that made me want to shift
my skin to hide in the background. I didn’t think he killed by accident.
The newcomers waved for us to follow them, their covered heads
tilting to stare up at me. With my tentacles beneath me, I was much taller
than any of them. Taller than anyone.
They seemed nervous about me, their weapons held in tense hands,
but their leader had included me in their invitation to follow them. Thrax
passed me, carrying his mate in his arms, trailing two more females who
crept around me on the far side of the door, as distant from me as they could
get and still be able to leave the building.
I curled my tentacles around my mate until she only had enough of a
gap to breathe before I brought her out from under my webbing. It wouldn’t
be as effective a shield for their weapons as my wall of tentacles and
webbing, but in order to move forward, I had to take the chance of exposing
her to that threat.
I felt her panic, and heard her muffled screams when I wrapped her
up, but I couldn’t take the time to reassure her that I meant to keep her safe.
Not while the newcomers stood waiting, watching me expose my treasure.
Later, I would tell her what I’d meant by this behavior. Assuming she could
understand me. Thrax’s mate understood him, and he and I could speak, so I
reasoned that she should know what I was saying.
I’d never been outside this building before, though Father had tried
to explain it to me—what they did, why they did it. He’d called it a research
facility. He’d been ashamed at the end, though he’d been so proud of their
work in the beginning. He’d told me his shame came from seeing what I
suffered, and from realizing that I was not the monster they’d taken me for.
I’d never heard of a monster until I found out that I was supposed to
be one. At least, I couldn’t remember hearing about it. The memories from
before they changed me were vague and fuzzy, and many of them might’ve
just been what I’d imagined, based on Father’s tales of where they found
me and how they’d captured me.
I do remember the ocean. The feel of it. The taste of it. Living in
freedom, but also in fear of creatures larger than I. There was also the
hunger for anything I could capture. A hunger that had led to me attacking
boats from an Iriduan colony. That was why Father said they thought I was
a monster. To them, I had been.
These newcomers shied away from me as if they also feared I was a
monster, but their leader had more courage. He spoke to me as I followed in
Thrax’s wake, giving the other two females space, so they would stop
casting fearful glances at me and whimpering. I had no interest in them.
Thrax had already given me a mate, and she was perfect.
She was also frantic. I felt her soft, useless claws scraping at my
protective shield of tentacles. She was still fighting to get free, and I
couldn’t help but admire her for it, even though I worried over how upset
she was.
Soon, mate. I will free you as soon as the newcomers stop carrying
their weapons so tightly.
 Chapter 3

JOANIE

I was tired of waiting to die, and figured I might as well fight back,
but it didn’t seem to have much effect on the monster that was carrying me.
I couldn’t even see around the coil of tentacles that held me snugly, not
squeezing yet, but I feared they would soon. There was only a small gap of
light where I could suck in grateful gasps of air as I tried not to panic.
I wanted to believe this was all a nightmare, but I’d long since given
up on that delusion. There was no waking up from this. Now, my only
concern was when the monster would eat me. Perhaps it wanted to toy with
me first.
“Help!” I screamed as loud as I could, but I could tell that the small
gap for air wasn’t enough to allow my muffled voice to be heard. I didn’t
know if the other women were still out there, but there probably wasn’t
much they could do to help me anyway.
I felt that we were moving, and moving pretty fast, surprising given
the mass of the monster carrying me. Tentacles pressed against my ears, so I
couldn’t hear much, and I was getting tired of the sound of my own
heartbeat.
What I wouldn’t do for some sad, country ballads, or ethereal New
Age music. I couldn’t even remember the last song I’d listened to. Perhaps
it was at the funeral, when they’d played my mother’s favorite songs until I
couldn’t hear them over my own sobbing.
I didn’t know how long I wallowed in misery, awaiting my imminent
death, before suddenly, I was free. The tentacles uncoiled so fast that I
stumbled as I regained my footing. The slick surface of a metal floor chilled
my bare feet. I’d seen many metal floors lately, most belonging to a lab, and
I couldn’t stop the shivering that shook my body as I stared at that floor, my
naked toes appearing obscenely organic to me against the perfectly smooth,
reflective surface.
Someone grabbed my arm, and I jerked away with a sharp yelp.
“Easy, Joanie. It’s just me. Claire.”
 I looked at the tough girl, so young she didn’t even have crows’ feet
beginning their insidious spread around her eyes. She seemed far too
relaxed. Almost happy. But at least there was concern in her eyes when she
studied my face, perhaps sensing I was on the brink of hysteria.
“I’m here too, Joanie.” Theresa joined Claire at my side, her voice
low as she glanced over her shoulder with a frightened expression. “I don’t
know exactly what’s happening, but the monsters are gone, and we’re in the
hold of some kind of space ship.”
Claire shot Theresa a sharp glare. “I told you, Thrax is not a monster.
He’s an alien, yes, but he’s my alien. He isn’t going to hurt you guys.”
“What about the other one?” Tarin was there now too, and they
surrounded me, hemming me in, but it felt good to be around other humans.
So good that I forget to worry about my personal space bubble. Or the ripe
smell of our bodies after being imprisoned. “Your alien just handed Joanie
over to that… thing!”
Claire sighed, pushing tangled hair out of her face. “He needed to
have his hands free to get us out of there. He said Nemon was on our side.”
Even she didn’t sound wholly convinced.
The creature had a name. I didn’t know why that seemed strange to
me, but it did. Giving it a name made it more relatable. I wasn’t sure I
wanted to relate to such a thing. “What do you mean, this Thrax is ‘your
alien?’”
She lifted her chin, her eyes defiant. “He’s my mate.”
The other women gasped in undisguised disgust, but I could only
stare at her, unsure how I should feel. She seemed happy, and proud of her
claim—and of her mate. She seemed to like saying those words, as if the
monstrous form of her lover gave her pleasure—and maybe even a reason
to brag.
“Claire! How can you possibly…?” Tarin’s wide eyes fixed on Claire.
“With that thing?”
Claire took a step closer to Tarin, her gaze hardening to flint. “Don’t
talk about him like that. He won’t hurt you, but if you treat him rudely, I
might.”
Tarin put her hands up and stepped away from Claire. “Hey, I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just a little… shocked.”
 Claire’s expression softened, and the tension drained out of her
shoulders. “It’s okay. I get why you’d be surprised. I just don’t like to see
him treated like a monster. If you knew Thrax, you’d understand that he
doesn’t deserve that. He’s been through hell.” She gestured to our little
group. “I’m pretty sure we all have.”
The other women nodded, but I could only stare at Claire, pondering
her and Thrax, and the oddity of their relationship. For some reason, my
mind drifted from those thoughts to Nemon, the other monster. The one
Thrax had apparently handed me to during our escape. I’d been too
frightened to wonder how I’d ended up in his tentacles. “What about
Nemon?”
Had he been through hell? And when had I started thinking of the
creature as male?
Claire shrugged. “Thrax didn’t get much time to talk to me about it
before he went to speak to the commander of this ship to reassure them that
he and Nemon will not be a threat. I heard enough to know that they’re
allies, and Nemon is another experiment, like Thrax. Only Nemon escaped
the facility earlier. Years ago. We encountered him in the tunnels beneath
the facility. I thought he had killed Thrax, but it seems like they actually
became friends.” She shrugged. “Or what passes for friendship for two
predatory aliens.”
Tarin glanced around, and it was the first time I thought to give my
surroundings an inspection as well. The hold was large enough to be a
warehouse, with metallic and plastic crates and boxes stacked in neat rows
tied down with strong metal cables. The area where we stood was cleared
space, as if it served some storage purpose that wasn’t currently necessary.
Walls curved high above us to meet a sloped ceiling, and beautiful, slender
women had been sculpted along the ribs of the walls, in a graceful Art
Deco-style.
The art was stylized, but a closer inspection revealed that the
sculptures weren’t human. Their upraised hands ended in short, sharp
claws, and small scales shimmered over their nearly nude bodies.
“We’re on an alien spaceship.” I said it aloud as if I could deny its
truth. The last ship I’d been on had been a flying saucer. I knew that
because I’d seen the outside. I’d gotten a good look while standing on that
deserted road before it had sucked me up and I’d seen my first alien. A
terrifying creature, not at all like the cute little alien toys the tourists buy for
their keychains in Roswell. Slender—but not short—gray skin, long arms
with only three fingers on each hand, the head larger than human, but not
huge like I’d expected. The eyes though. The eyes were what terrified the
most—huge, all black, ovoid eyes that seemed to see the entire universe,
and found it wanting.
I hadn’t been subjected to the sight long before I was knocked out
somehow. When I woke up, I was in a cell. My cell. I never saw the aliens
again. Just the robots.
Now I was on another ship, and from the looks of the sculptures,
these weren’t the same aliens. Thrax wasn’t the same alien either. Nor was
Nemon. The idea that there were so many different kinds of sentient aliens
in the galaxy boggled my mind. I’d thought humanity was probably the
most advanced life form, but maybe, if aliens did exist, then they would be
the grays—like the one I had seen. But to imagine that even more alien
species existed with the power of space travel meant that humanity was like
a primitive backwater species. How could our people not know about this?
Or did they? Was the government truly covering it up?
“What happens now?” Tarin asked.
“I don’t suppose these aliens have a hot tub and a margarita bar.”
They all turned to me like I had just started spouting off words in Greek. I
shrugged. “What?”
Claire was the first to smile. “You seem to be doing a little better
now.”
“You mean I’m not pulling out my hair in hysteria?” I touched my
curls, so tangled now that I wondered if I’d ever be able to comb them out.
“Tried that earlier—almost couldn’t get my hands free.”
Tarin rested a hand on my arm, staring into my eyes with an intent
expression. “You sure you’re okay, Joanie? You’ve been through a lot.”
Heck no, I wasn’t okay, but what good would freaking out do about
it? I’d been there, done that. Over and over again. Right now, I felt
strangely serene. Maybe it was shock. Or maybe it was seeing all those
crushed robots earlier. Speaking of which… “So what exactly does happen
now? I missed a lot of stuff due to tentacle-interference. Are we with
friends or foes?”
 Claire bit her lip, which was the first time I noticed that there was a
hole under it—a piercing. “I think they’re allies. I encountered other aliens
like them when I was first put with Thrax. They were prisoners too. The
Iriduans killed them.” Her voice quavered on the last word.
“Are the Iriduans those elf-like aliens?” Theresa asked. “I saw them
on the monitors. Real pretty, but they had blue or green skin.”
Claire nodded. “You probably saw Ilyan and Lania. As far as I know,
they’re both dead.”
“That doesn’t sound like the aliens I saw,” I said.
Once again, I became the focus of their attention.
“Did they put you in with a different kind of alien to breed?” Claire
asked, hugging herself and rubbing her arms.
Tarin gasped as she lifted a shaking hand to clutch the nape of the
hospital gown-style garment she wore that matched the rest of ours. “Is that
why they wanted us? Thank god we escaped so soon!”
Theresa nodded her agreement.
Claire met my eyes, and I could see that she had not escaped soon
enough either.
“I don’t think they were planning on breeding me,” I said, softly. “I
was abducted by the gray aliens. The ones people always talk about.”
“I think those are the Lusians,” Claire said, her brow furrowed,
drawing my attention to another set of holes through one of her eyebrows.
“The Iriduans said that the Lusians had abducted us. I think they sold us to
the Iriduans. At least, that’s what I got from it.”
Tarin crossed her arms over her chest. “So, they’re like, what?
Poachers?”
“That’s assuming it’s illegal to abduct humans,” Claire said.
“Somehow, I doubt that these aliens think it is.”
“So, I spent months picturing my tormentors as those horrible grays,
when really I should have been having nightmares of elf-aliens? I feel
totally ripped off that I didn’t get to see them. It’s so much easier to hate
someone when you can picture their face for your punching fantasies.”
They hadn’t bothered to show themselves to me because they weren’t going
to breed me. Not with my chromosomal abnormality. I wondered if they
had known about it when they bought me from the poachers, or if I was
slipped in with the other subjects by crooked Lusian procurers. I wasn’t
sure whether I was better off being a test subject than a breeder.
Tarin stared at me, her eyes wide. “Oh god! You were a prisoner for
months? You poor thing.”
“I assume it was months. It felt like it.” God, it felt so good to talk to
other people after so long alone. I wondered if I would have been desperate
enough to feel grateful at the sight of one of the aliens—if they had deigned
to show themselves to me.
Claire was about to comment when Theresa made a startled sound,
staring past my shoulder at something behind me.
By the way Claire’s smile spread across her face, I guessed that her
monster mate had returned, so silently that I hadn’t heard a thing. I braced
myself, turning around slowly, while simultaneously backing up until I
stood beside the three women instead of in front of them.
Thrax stood next to another alien that was almost as big as him, but
significantly different. For one thing, the other alien had only two arms, but
that didn’t make it anything remotely resembling human. It was covered in
scales, had thin quill-like spikes poking out of its bald head, and strange,
reptilian eyes.
It held out a hand, palm up. There were three glowing crescents in the
scaled palm.
“Translators,” Thrax said, his voice deep, almost mechanical, as if he
spoke through some device in the ninja-like mask that covered his lower
face.
Claire walked up to him, and he automatically wrapped one lower
arm around her waist as she approached. “Where’s mine?” she asked, her
voice changing to the soft, gushy one that young lovers always used when
talking to each other.
He answered by lifting a translator to gently tuck it into her ear. The
way he touched her was so reverent that he could have been handling a
priceless treasure. I felt like we were intruding on their private moment.
As soon as her translator was fitted, Claire took the three from the
other alien and handed them out to us. None of us had the guts to approach
him, though he stood there so patiently waiting. We fitted our own
translators, not having the benefit of a four-armed alien to help us. To be
honest, none of the others probably wanted that, but I had to admit that I
was envious of how devoted Thrax seemed to Claire.
I wanted that kind of devotion. The thought of being the center of
someone else’s universe—of being a treasure they consider beyond price—
was the kind of stuff that girlish fantasies were made of. The kind of stories
I’d played with my dolls inside the dirty hotel rooms where we’d made our
home while I was growing up. Barbie had a mansion and a man who loved
her—two things that had seemed like impossible dreams for me when I was
a child.
Of course, once I finished growing up, I realized that most people
were the center of their own universe. They didn’t really want to make
room there for someone else. I never could find a man like Barbie’s Ken.
Flowers were begrudgingly bought from the supermarket for Valentine’s
Day without consideration for what I liked. Chocolates were handed off
with suggestions that I don’t eat too many, cuz calories. Negligees were
wrapped up and presented with a smile as if cheap satin and a piece of butt-
crack floss were a gift for me instead of my partner. If Mr. Right ever
existed, some other smart girl had already snatched him up.
I watched Claire and Thrax together as my translator made a few
beeping noises in my ear. It was possible that the net I’d cast when looking
for my prince charming had been too narrow. Thinking of a net made me
think of fish in the sea, which led to thoughts of a certain tentacle alien with
the face of an avenging angel, and the eyes of a cold-blooded predator.
I never would have thought mating with an alien was a possibility, if I
hadn’t seen Claire’s happiness with Thrax. She’d wrapped her arm around
him as if the wings, the exoskeleton, and the pincers—and the pure
alienness of him—didn’t bother her in the least.
Apparently, this galaxy was filled with many different aliens. Surely,
there might be one I could look at with the same adoring gaze as Claire was
giving Thrax. It wasn’t like I had anything to return home to, other than a
mountain of a debt I had no ability to pay. Assuming there was even a way
to return me to Earth, could I go back to my ordinary life after what I’d
been through? I certainly couldn’t tell a therapist how I’d been abducted
and experimented on by aliens. I’d end up in a straight-jacket.
Unbidden, I thought of Nemon again, then shook my head at myself. I
couldn’t imagine why that monster kept invading my thoughts. Yes, he’d
crushed a lot of those robots, which won him a few points in my book, but
surely, I should be more horrified by him than intrigued. I could only
suspect that some part of my rational mind had well and truly snapped, and
now I was at least partly insane. There could be no other explanation.
“Greetings, humans. Please let me know if your translators are
functioning properly.” The spiky alien’s voice was soft and raspy—far less
threatening than his appearance. Strangely, it didn’t seem like he was
speaking English, but I understood him perfectly.
I heard Theresa and Tarin gasp beside me.
“This is crazy!” Tarin said, touching the device that curved around
the shell of her ear, just like mine did.
“I take that to mean they work,” the alien said. He lifted a hand to his
chest. “My name is Prime Commander Tirel. Welcome to my ship, Star
Dancer. You are our honored guests. Please, let my crew know if there is
anything they can do to make your journey with us more comfortable.”
He turned to the side, revealing the hump on his back that was
covered by his futuristic armor. I wondered about it, before being distracted
by a slender female alien who stepped out from behind him, carrying what
looked to be an electronic device like a tablet. She had scales and reptilian
eyes, but her features were softer, and she had no spikes on her head and no
hump under her hard armor suit.
“Second Commander Krea will see you to your cabins.” Tirel
gestured to the female alien. “We also have a medical officer on board, if
any of you need healing.”
Thrax turned his attention away from Claire long enough to address
Tirel. “What about Nemon?”
The Prime Commander nodded to Thrax with what appeared to be
respect. “Your ally is ours now, as well. We do not have a cabin large
enough to house him, but he has already been escorted to the wet-hold. He
has said that he will be more comfortable there.”
“It would probably be safer to jettison him,” Thrax said.
Claire lifted her hand to smack him on the chest, which appeared to
be missing some of the exoskeleton plates that covered the rest of his body,
and then she seemed to think better of it, perhaps recognizing that the hard
armor of his body would hurt her hand. “Honestly, Thrax! You told me he
was your friend.”
 “Ally,” he responded. “Besides, I wasn’t telling the commander to
do it. I was only stating a fact.”
The commander chuckled. “I assure you, Madam Claire, your allies
are all safe with us. We’ll confine our jettisoning to our garbage.”

*****

I followed Krea and the other women to the cabins, craning my neck
to get a good look at the ship. It was a work of art, as if the builders refused
to sacrifice form even as they added function. Given the artistry of their
hard suits, which had graceful lines and geometric designs on them as well,
it seemed that they worked beauty into everything they made.
Claire and Thrax had left with the Prime Commander, and I
suspected they were getting special treatment. Once I saw the cramped
confines of our cabins, I realized that Thrax probably would have struggled
to fit into one with Claire, and I got the distinct impression that he would
refuse to be separated from her.
The cabins might be beautiful with their smooth walls and stylistic
supports, but space was obviously a premium on this ship—at least in the
crew and passenger quarters. Not that I was complaining. I’d spent months
in a tiny cell. This cabin was a luxury.
But once the door slid shut behind me, I began to feel closed in. The
walls seemed to shrink around me, the ceiling appeared only seconds from
dropping onto my head. The silence in the room was too profound. The air
cloying. I couldn’t take it. I ran to the door and banged on it, screaming to
be let out.
It slid open almost immediately, and Tarin—who was right next door
—came running. I felt shame and embarrassment as she grabbed my
shoulders, steadying me when I stumbled.
“I can’t be in there,” I whispered, struggling for the breath to speak. I
didn’t know what I expected. Perhaps a robot at the door, waiting to take
me to the lab. I didn’t feel safe, even though I knew we were away from
that place and those horrible mannequin-like bots.
Unbidden, an image of crushed robots littered around Nemon came to
me. I’d fought so much against the robots in the beginning, and their
strength had seemed impossible to defeat. I’d been unable to fight against
their commands. But Nemon had destroyed them.
While I was struggling to catch my breath, Tarin had tapped the
button on her translator that allowed her to communicate with the deck
liaison. “My friend can’t stand being confined in a small space at the
moment. Is there somewhere we can walk to get some fresh air?”
She was quiet as the other person apparently answered, but I had
another idea. “Where is the wet-hold?”
Tarin stared at me in surprise. I was just as surprised. I wasn’t really
thinking of seeing Nemon again, was I? What if he grabbed me and
wrapped me up in his tentacles? What if he really wasn’t a trusted ally? Just
because he agreed to help us escape, didn’t mean I could trust him. Even
Thrax, who was his ally, didn’t really trust him.
But he was strong. Strong enough to kill an army of robots. Maybe I
wasn’t safe from him, but at least I knew that there was no threat he
couldn’t handle. My reasoning wasn’t logical, at all, but then again, my life
was a crazy mess, so expecting things to start making sense now was just
unrealistic.
“Can we visit the wet-hold,” she said, and her translator must have
picked it up because she nodded her head as if she’d gotten an answer. Then
she met my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Krea is sending someone to lead us
to the wet-hold. You sure about this, Joanie? That thing is in the wet-hold.”
Um, duh. I wasn’t going there for the tourist sites, but I kept my
thoughts to myself. I didn’t think she’d understand why I wanted to see
Nemon again. Even I didn’t understand it. Besides, she looked scared at the
thought of seeing him again. I should look that scared myself. Maybe I did.
I still hadn’t seen a mirror.
That realization was enough to send me into a panic as I quickly
assessed my appearance. I was still wearing the hospital gown-like robe I’d
worn for what seemed like forever now. My hair was a tangled, matted
mess, and I hadn’t showered in a long time. If I hadn’t splurged in laser hair
removal treatments a year ago when I hit a rare jackpot, I’d have to contend
with overgrown pit and leg hair on top of all of that.
I couldn’t explain why my appearance suddenly mattered to me at
that moment. I just knew that it did. “I need to wash up. They showed us a
bathroom facility on the way to our cabin right? Let’s meet our guide
there.”
That was one suggestion Tarin could get behind. I wasn’t the only one
who wanted to wash away the stink of captivity.
 Chapter 4

NEMON

When Thrax had told me that I had to surrender my mate, I was

furious. How dare he give her to me, only to take her away again? Had he
not complained of having the same thing done to him with his mate?
Perhaps he sensed that my fury would erupt into violence, because
he’d hissed in a low voice that I would have her back as soon as possible,
but if I didn’t let her go now, I could end up losing her forever.
Realizing the wisdom of his words—given all the armed newcomers
—not to mention his much greater experience with this whole “mate” thing,
I’d relinquished my hold on her. She’d slipped out of my tentacles, and then
Thrax had rushed me away from her and out of the cargo hold before I
could even attempt to speak to her. At least his mate remained behind to
talk to her, and he reassured me that his mate would know what to say to
her to soothe away the fear that made her beautiful eyes wild.
The Akrellians were irritating. They kept eyeing me while trying to
pretend not to, and they were jumpy whenever my tentacles moved. Given
that my tentacles were always moving to check my surroundings, the
skittishness of our new hosts quickly grew tiresome.
We answered a lot of boring questions, and I could see that Thrax was
as impatient as I was to return to our mates. His answers grew shorter, but it
was clear that he was reining in his irritation, so I mirrored my demeanor to
his. He seemed to be better with people than I was. My only real experience
was with Father, and then with the people I’d tried to talk to in the warrens,
which had ended badly.
The Akrellians finally stopped bombarding us with questions and
started telling us about their ship and where we could stay. Thrax and his
mate were going to be staying in the Prime Commander’s cabin, but they
would have to put me in the hold. Tirel claimed they had a place called the
“wet-hold” that he thought I might prefer. Apparently, the Star Dancer
sometimes carried aquatic specimens, and thus had a large hold filled with
water. How they got that water in the middle of space seemed to be a source
of great pride for them, and I listened with interest to their explanation of
the tech—at least until Thrax made an impatient sound.
Though I preferred water to land—because it was easier to move in
water—I was at home in both mediums, thanks to Father’s changes. The
placement worked for me, but only if I could see my mate again. That was
all I cared about. I’d spent so long alone that I wasn’t sure I’d even know
what to say or how to say it, but with a device the Akrellians gave me that
they called a translator, I was going to try to explain to her that she
shouldn’t fear me. I wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t fear anyone ever
again. Not with me protecting her.
It turned out that the wet-hold was not just a storage area for
specimens. I’d been expecting a large tank, like the one I had lived in at the
lab, but instead, the hold was more like a park, with a series of small ponds
surrounding a large pool in the center. Walkways around the water were
decorated with greenery in pots, sculptures, and the occasional small glass
tank with tiny aquatic creatures swimming inside it. One walkway extended
over the pool in a small foot bridge. I saw the depth of the pool and was
pleased that it would fit all of me. Not that I couldn’t fit into tight spaces. I
had the ability to morph my form enough to fit almost anywhere, despite
my size.
More important than the pool were the walkways around it. As I
settled into the slightly cold water, adjusting my body to acclimate to the
temperature and composition of it, I thought about what I would say to my
mate when I saw her again.
As I acclimated, my escort explained that this hold served as a
greensward for the crew, in addition to holding live specimens during
transit, but that it would be considered off-limits to crewmembers while I
was on board. “For my privacy,” he’d said, but I took the expression he
wore to mean it was more for their crew’s safety. I didn’t take it personal. I
wasn’t interested in seeing anymore of the Akrellians anyway. Just my
mate, whose name I had yet to learn.
When the escort left—the sliding doors at the far end of the hold
clicking shut behind him—I sank to the bottom of the pool, pleased that it
was deep enough to immerse me without me having to change the shape of
my mantle. The sensation of water closing over me was comforting, though
the taste and texture of it would take some further acclimation. It was
almost too pure, but I could detect a hint of aquarium water, as if some had
been added to give it life.
It was certainly a change from what I was used to. I’d spent most of
my time floating in the rancid water of the warrens beneath the facility, or
balled up tight in my little lair, not seeing much reason to leave it, or even
move for long periods of time. There hadn’t been much to live for, until I’d
noticed a difference in the taste of the water and tracked its source to Thrax
and his mate.
At first, I thought that the other people—people like my father—had
returned, and I was cautious about approaching lest they try to kill me
again, or I scare them off. I didn’t want either result. When I saw Thrax, I
realized that caution was warranted. I’d seen how easily he’d hunted the
eels, and I’d recognized a fellow predator.
It was sheer loneliness and desperation that inspired me to grab him
and drag him to my lair. A part of me had wanted to eat him, but mostly I’d
been curious. And if he managed to kill me, at least I would no longer be
lonely.
The result of that meeting had exceeded my expectations. I had to
return to the facility where Father had warned me I would be recaptured,
but I received a mate in return for helping Thrax rescue his.
When Thrax showed up in the hold without my mate, I was
disappointed. I hadn’t been waiting that long though, so perhaps she was
resting or doing her own acclimating to the ship before she returned to me.
He strode to the pool and crouched down beside it, his eyes fixed on
me. I shifted the texture and color of my skin so I no longer resembled the
bottom of the pool, unfurling my tentacles from around me to pull them
under me. Stretching them beneath me allowed me to rise up until I was at
eye level with Thrax. Water streamed off my skin as I broke the surface,
and without thinking about it, I closed the gills under my ribs and expanded
my lungs with air, reminding me of the first time I’d tried to breathe air. The
pain as my lungs expanded had been agonizing, causing me to curl up as
my bone lattice melted back into an amorphous mantle.
Father had been upset with me for losing form during an
experiment, until he realized how bad the pain was for me. Eventually, the
shifting became second nature, just as reasserting my bone lattice did.
Though that was still a complex enough process that I didn’t do it lightly. I
preferred the form I now took. Father had been proud of how similar to him
I looked.
Thrax studied me, his dark eyes searching my face as if he could find
answers from me just by staring long enough. “How is it possible that I
can’t sense you?”
I shrugged. “Seems like you found me easily enough.”
His gaze took in the empty pool, the bottom of it pebbled by fake
stones. “I would have missed you if I wasn’t looking for you.” His eyes
returned to me. “I never miss a threat.”
“Maybe I’m not a threat to you.”
He made a disbelieving sound at that. “I saw the bodies you left
behind in the warrens.”
“It was an accident. They were trying to kill me and my tentacles
just….” I recalled the chaos, the sounds of screaming, and the pain of
weapons striking me, sawing at my limbs. My father had warned me to
avoid the facility and the machines, but I had foolishly believed that small
little group of people beneath the facility would be welcoming to me. I
didn’t understand then what I knew now. I was feared, even by the ones
who’d made me.
He waved a lower hand as if brushing aside a small, annoying insect.
“I would’ve killed them on purpose.”
“You shouldn’t. Not without reason. That’s what my father told me.”
“That’s what Claire says too. It’s frustrating having to look for a
reason.” He shifted his weight into his heels, remaining in a crouch that
seemed to be comfortable for him. “Why do you still call him father? He’s
the one who took you away from your previous life and made you into,” he
gestured to my mantle with one upper arm, “this.”
I looked down at myself, studying the form of the body my father had
given me. “He said that I took his form. That I was like his son. I was a part
of him.”
Thrax narrowed his eyes, his wings twitching behind him. “And that
was enough for you? To forgive him for what he did?”
Father had freed me. I’d believed so, at least, but when I thought
about it now, I realized that I’d only moved from one prison to another. I
didn’t understand why he’d been cruel enough to consign me to a life alone
beneath the facility. “I don’t know. He was the only one who would talk to
me when I was in the labs. He would apologize for the pain and insisted on
giving me something to deaden it. He taught me how to speak these new
words. How to move again with a new body, how to keep from killing by
accident.”
“So that you could kill for him on purpose. Claire has told me what
the Iriduans were trying to do. They wanted us as soldiers to fight their wars
for them.”
There had been times when Professor Halian had said I was being
tested. He’d sent prey animals in alive and told me to ambush and kill them.
The longer I was able to hide from them, the closer they got to me before I
snatched them up, the better my score would be. I’d been proud at the time
to gain his approval, and he’d told me that I rarely ever disappointed him. “I
wanted to please him.”
Thrax slowly shook his head. “I was determined to defy my creators,
and you strove to please yours, and neither of us benefited from it.” His
pincers opened and closed with agitation. “We were both slaves.”
“But now we both have mates. I don’t remember much about my past,
but I don’t think there was anyone like my mate in it, so I prefer this life to
that one.” It was difficult to remain upset about the past when I thought of
where it had led me—to my mate, who was so beautiful and perfect that I
felt only happiness now.
Thrax looked suddenly shifty, his eyes avoiding meeting mine. I knew
that look. It meant I couldn’t trust what he was about to say. “Yes, I am
happy with my mate, and I wouldn’t change what I’ve become.”
“And you’ve given me my mate. As you promised.”
He turned his face away from me to stare off into some of the
greenery beside the pool, but I still felt as if he were watching me through
different eyes. Perhaps it was the small round half spheres on his armor
facial plates that allowed him to still see me. “It’s not as simple as that. You
cannot just claim she is your mate. The truth is, I only needed you to hold
her for a moment. I wasn’t actually giving her to you.”
I tried to comprehend what he was saying, even though I didn’t like
the feeling his words gave me. “You said you would find me a mate. And
you did.”
“I cannot promise her to you. Claire won’t let me.”
 I rose higher up on my tentacles, using my suction cups to pull myself
up the side of the pool until I towered over Thrax, even as he stood to his
feet, his pincers extending and opening wide in threat. “You made a
promise!” I felt fear that caused my free tentacles to whip and thrash until
they splashed the surface of the pool. Not fear of Thrax, but of losing
something as precious as my mate, before I’d even had the chance to speak
a word to her. “Why would you go back on your promise?”
Thrax looked as if he debated whether to sting me, and I was
wondering whether it would kill me, even as my tentacles pulled me up out
of the pool and then surrounded him.
“I said I would help you find a mate. I never promised it would be
this one female. There are others. Claire says there are billions of them just
like her on their homeworld. And if you don’t want a female like that one
—”
“I want her. Only her. There is no one else like her.” I couldn’t
imagine any female who would make me happier than the one I’d already
been given. If Thrax wouldn’t bring her to me, I would tear this ship apart
to take her for myself.
A long, tense moment passed between us, while we both
contemplated the merits of trying to kill each other. Finally, Thrax help up
his lower arms, retracting his pincers. “Listen, the female is frightened and
traumatized. You can’t just force her to mate with you.”
I relaxed a bit at his retreat, sinking down onto my tentacles. “Force
her to mate? Do you mean force my genital tentacle into her?”
“If that’s how you do it.” He sounded disgusted as he eyed my
tentacles.
I was irritated at his focus on them. I curled the tips under my
webbing. “I wouldn’t use my genital tentacle until she signaled that she was
ready for it.” I didn’t mention that I was missing one at the moment. My
father had said it should grow back when I was ready to breed, though he’d
been angry that they’d removed it.
“But you want to mate with her?”
I thought about that. I wanted to touch her again. I wanted to feel
her hair, and taste the flavor of her skin through my tentacles. I wanted to sit
and admire the curves of her body and explore every inch of it. This wasn’t
like the instinct to mate that I vaguely remembered from before I was
changed. It was something altogether different—a feeling that she was
right. That she fit me, even though our bodies were so different. The desire
for breeding was secondary. “Eventually. If she wants it, I would like to
mate with her, but I still want her as a mate even if I never give her my
seed."
Thrax remained silent for so long that I wondered if he’d even heard
my answer. His body language gave nothing away. When he finally did
speak, his words came slowly, as if they were being pulled out of him by
force. “If this female is truly the one you wish to mate, I will see if Claire
can tell me how you could win her acceptance.”
It hadn’t occurred to me to worry about her acceptance, but I
realized immediately that it should have. I’d been so focused on finding a
mate that I hadn’t thought about what it meant to have one. I certainly
didn’t want a companion who stared at me in terror, or shied away from my
touch. I wanted her to look at me the way that Claire looked at Thrax. “Will
Claire help me?”
He studied me with hard eyes. “I doubt it. She’s not too happy with
you after you scared her by trying to kill me.”
Perhaps I had been a bit hasty in grabbing Thrax. It certainly hadn’t
been the best first meeting. In fact, my record with first meetings was not
very good. “Is there any way that I can convince her?” I didn’t deny his
accusation. I may have been thinking about squeezing a little too hard, but
only if he proved to be too big of a threat. Or appeared too tasty.
He tensed, his pincers extending again. “You won’t be going near
Claire. I will handle all the discussions and convincing. If she agrees to
help, then I will let you know.” His unspoken threat relayed, he relaxed
again and turned as if to leave. “I’ll get back to you, later. If you need
anything, don’t pester me. Just ask those Akrellians.” He glanced at a
sculpture standing near him. “It looks like they have too much time on their
hands anyway. You can give them something to do other than making
whatever this is.”
I watched him stride towards the door, only allowing my body to
sink back under the water when it slid open to let him out. In a way, I was
sorry to see him go, because he was company—though not the most
gracious companion. On the other hand, I wasn’t accustomed to being
around people, so the solitude was also nice, particularly while I acclimated
to a new environment, which was always a bit stressful. When I was
stressed, my tentacles got twitchy. Being around people when that happened
used to end catastrophically, but I hadn’t lost control like that in a long time.
I pondered his words as my gills opened and my lungs collapsed. I
had an important mission ahead of me. Choosing my mate had been the
easy part. Getting her to choose me was going to be much more difficult. I
didn’t think a display of bioluminescence would win her over like it might
from one of the females of my species. In fact, it might only drive home the
differences between us.
I liked those differences, found them fascinating, and wanted to
explore her body, but I couldn’t count on her to feel the same curiosity. I’d
already learned that not everyone was as curious as I was, and even those
who were—like Father—tempered their curiosity with a healthy dose of
caution. Allowing me to wrap my tentacles around them was something
most people didn’t consider wise.
I didn’t know enough about her species to determine how to interact
with her, so I had little choice but to rely on Claire’s help, if she would even
give it. That help would only come through Thrax, and he was an uncertain
ally. I was still pretty sure he wanted to kill me.
 Chapter 5

JOANIE

I showered for a long time. So long that I almost forgot my original

purpose. I should have worried about using up all the hot water, but we’d
been assured that the water was recycled. I didn’t know if that meant I was
bathing in filtered pee water or not, and didn’t even care, because the steam
and the heat of the water scouring away the filth from that prison cell felt
almost transformative. The scars inside me weren’t going to wash away as
easily as the dirt on the outside, but when I finally stepped out of the stream
of water and stared at my dripping form in the mirror, I felt a sense of
cautious renewal, like a tender spring bud poking out of the barren ground
after a long winter.
It would be far too easy to see that hope for a fresh beginning
wither. I was starting out with nothing, although back on Earth, I’d ended
with even less than nothing. I’d owed debts I would never be able to repay,
results of a gambling problem I couldn’t seem to overcome.
In fact, here, I had friends, though that friendship was in its infancy
and forged in the fire of trauma and terror. Yet, Tarin remained by my side,
enjoying her own shower, then waiting outside of the stalls to help me with
my hair—for the first time in ages allowing me to comb through the mess
of it, and get rid of all the tangles. It took a very long time to wrestle it into
compliance, and I envied Tarin’s short pixie cut.
While we worked on my hair, Tarin and I talked, and though we
skirted around what we’d been put through in captivity, we had plenty to
discuss. I was grateful we’d told Krea we needed to delay our trip to the
wet-hold for a bit. I wouldn’t have wanted our escort to be kept waiting
while we cleaned up.
The Akrellians had been nice enough to provide jumpsuits for us to
wear to replace the horrid gowns we’d been forced into at the facility. The
jumpsuits were made of a stretchy material and clung to our bodies. Tarin
was self-conscious, fearing she was too big to wear such a thing, though I
thought she looked perfect. I wished I still had my curves, but I’d lost so
much weight during my captivity that my ribs showed, even through the
silky material of the jumpsuit. I couldn’t believe I’d spent so much time
before being captured obsessing over my weight and watching the number
on the scale like a hawk. Now, I just wanted to look like I used to, instead
of looking into the mirror at a stranger—one with hollow, sunken cheeks
and dark circles beneath haunted brown eyes.
“You look like a super model,” Tarin said, her reflection joining
mine in the mirror. “Like one of those chic women in the perfume ads. I’m
so jealous.” She said that last with a rueful smile as she plucked at the
fabric hugging her own generous curves.
I refrained from telling her that I’d been close to her size myself
when I’d been taken, and that this new version of my appearance scared me,
because it reminded me too much of what I’d been through.
As if the sight of my ribs reminded my body that it hadn’t been well
fed in a long time, hunger tore at my belly in that moment, and I clutched
my stomach as it growled loudly. “You think they have an All-You-Can-Eat
buffet on board?”
Tarin sighed. “That would sure be nice. Or that hot tub and
margarita bar you mentioned. I’d sure like some of that.”
“Chips and salsa! God, I want some chips and salsa!”
She rubbed her stomach. “I could go for some chicken-fried steak
and eggs.”
Both our stomachs growled in unison. “All right,” I said, laughing
even as the hunger still gnawed at me. “We need to stop talking about it and
start hunting down some food.”
Tarin lifted her hand to her translator, pressing the button that
opened the communications to the crew. “Let’s do that.”

*****

The escort led us to a small dining room that was as fancy as

anything to be found on a cruise ship. The artistry seen on the rest of the
ship was even more prevalent here, and in addition, there were holograms
of beautiful Akrellian females swaying to primal music in several corners.
Noticing the focus of my attention, our escort gestured to the
holograms. “Music and dance to help our diners relax and unwind. When
we add beauty to function, artistry to utility, we are rewarded by The
Dancer with peace and serenity.”
I admired the dancers for a bit, wishing I could mimic the steps with
as much grace as the alien females did, before following our escort. We still
hadn’t learned much about our new hosts, other than that they wanted to be
accommodating, and we had Claire and Thrax to thank for that. They’d
found something that the Akrellians really wanted—a list of names of
Akrellian warriors abducted by the Iriduans, which served as proof of
Iriduans breaking some sort of treaty that was going to get them into hot
water.
All I really cared to understand was that they were the enemies of
my enemy. If I wasn’t so overwhelmed by all the new sensory details
coming at me, and all the new information I’d learned—and had yet to learn
—I would have been peppering the escort with questions. As it was, I just
wanted to eat, and talk to Tarin about Earth, reminiscing about prosaic parts
of our life—the parts that held no emotional baggage. Restaurants we loved,
stores we’d shopped frequently, even our favorite household cleaning and
beauty products.
The food was plentiful, and far better than buffet food. I didn’t
recognize the textures, and the flavors were new and savory, but I didn’t let
the unfamiliarity stop me from eating until I feared I’d explode from an
overfull stomach.
It wasn’t until I was sitting back in my chair, rubbing my bulging
stomach, that Tarin broached the subject I’d been avoiding. “You think
they’ll take us back to Earth?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. Claire had gone to have a long
meeting with Commander Tirel after we’d been led to our cabins, so she
might know by now what the Akrellians’ plans were, but I was still reeling
from suddenly finding myself free of the terrible routine I’d been forced
into in captivity. I hadn’t had time to think much about the future, other than
to realize that I didn’t have much of one on Earth. “Not sure I’d go home, if
I was given another option, to be honest.”
Tarin’s eyes widened, and she leaned forward over the table. “Are
you serious? You don’t want to go home? You’d give up all the things you
love about Earth?” She lifted a nearly empty glass of some kind of light
alien wine to her lips. “I’d kill for a pumpkin spice latte!”
 Sure, I’d miss those things, but most of them I couldn’t even afford
anymore. I wouldn’t miss the terrible traffic, the oppressive desert heat, the
endless mobs of tourists on the Strip, or the never-ending temptation of the
slot machines and blackjack tables, and I didn’t have the money to move
out of Vegas, though to beat my addiction, I’d probably have to move
across country to get away from temptation.
Tarin had mentioned her family briefly. They were a large and
boisterous group, and she had three brothers. Both of her parents were
living, and had been married for ages. She’d also had a large entourage of
friends, and given how considerate she was of me, I wasn’t surprised that
she made friends easily.
I had not made friends that easily. I’d been ashamed of my nomadic
life as a child, and had hidden the truth from the other kids in my school,
making it difficult to build real friendships. As an adult, my struggles with
gambling had ruined more than one friendship, and other problems had
ended my brief marriage. In the end, my mother’s death in a car accident
with a drunk driver sent me into a self-destructive spiral, ruining all the
progress I’d made with fighting my gambling addiction. After that, I’d
avoided close relationships altogether, spending most of my time in one
casino or another, until I had nothing left to pawn, and no one who would
loan me another dime.
I’d driven out to the desert one night in a rental car with a tent in the
back and only enough food to last for a few days. I thought I would fight
my compulsion to go to the casino by hiding far enough away from the
bright lights of Vegas. If I could just break that cycle, then maybe I could
get my life together, get my job as an apartment manager back, maybe
finally meet someone nice, and finally have a true home.
Only the impossible had happened. I’d seen a flying saucer, not
believing my eyes until I was sucked up into its beam of light.
That was not a memory I wanted to return to. One of those memory
minefields I needed to avoid. “Going back to Earth wouldn’t be the same
for me as it would be for you. I don’t have anyone waiting for me there.”
I didn’t like the look of pity in her eyes, but I didn’t pull away when
she set her glass down and put her hand over mine on the tabletop. “Hey,
listen. I know we just met, but you and I are friends, you got that. After
what we’ve been through, insta-friendship can be expected. If you don’t
want to return to your home, you’d be welcome at mine.” Her smile was
sad, as if even she understood that going back wouldn’t be the same as if
she’d never been taken in the first place. “I’m going to need someone to
talk to who understands what I’ve been through. Most folks will think I’m
crazy if I tell them I was abducted by aliens.”
I appreciated her words, and the sentiment behind them. I did feel a
connection to her and the other women, based solely on the fact that we’d
experienced what we did together. But it wasn’t enough for me to go back
to Earth and shack up with my new abduction-buddy. I wanted something
I’d never found on Earth, and since I was out here in the wider galaxy, I
might as well search for it here. “What do you think about Claire and
Thrax?”
She looked confused for a moment about my abrupt change of
subject, but when she processed my actual words, a fleeting expression of
disgust crossed her face. “I’m trying to be open-minded, but I don’t get it.”
She shrugged. “I guess I just like my men a little more… human.”
I was oddly disappointed in her answer. I still wasn’t entirely sure
that I understood Claire’s fascination for an alien mate, yet I wanted Tarin
to validate it, for some reason. As if that would make it okay for me to… to
what? Find an alien mate of my own? I’d already come to the decision that I
was willing to give that a try, but there was more to my need to hear that
Claire and Thrax’s relationship was acceptable. Thrax wasn’t just another
alien. He was terrifying—the kind of creature you’d expect from a
nightmare. Even the Akrellians—as strange as they were—had somewhat
humanoid features. Two arms, two human-like legs, two eyes, a nose, a
mouth with lips just like ours. Heck, the females looked almost like
beautiful women without hair and with some scales Photoshopped onto
them.
Thrax was a different matter entirely, although, the truth was, I
wasn’t really concerned with him. There was another alien that I kept
thinking about—one equally as monstrous as Thrax.
When Nemon had held me in his tentacles during our escape, I’d felt
how powerful he was. I’d stared at his movie-star handsome face, looked
into his eerie eyes, and I’d felt a sense of excitement that I hadn’t
experienced in a long time. There was a risk there. A risk of losing
everything—like my life—but also the chance that I might hit the jackpot if
I placed the bet. “You don’t think she seems happy with him?”
Tarin shrugged. “I haven’t had a lot of time to observe them, but
sure, Claire seems like she’s really into him. It’s just hard for me to
imagine.”
“Did you… is there someone waiting for you back home?” She
hadn’t mentioned anyone in her life romantically, but that didn’t mean she
didn’t have someone.
She pulled a face, shaking her head. “Had a boyfriend. Things didn’t
work out.” Her tone suggested she didn’t want to discuss details.
I could respect that. Some things were best left buried.
I wanted to go to the wet-hold and see if Nemon was as scary and
exhilarating as I remembered. Maybe seeing him again would wipe out this
strange fantasy I had of him. At the same time, I was afraid to go, because
what if the sight did wipe out my fantasy, then I’d have nothing left. “You
don’t think you could ever be happy with an alien?”
Tarin’s short laugh lacked humor. “Look, after the men I’ve dated,
I’m willing to look beyond Earth for Mr. Right, but if he has pincers and
wings like an insect, I’m outta there.” She shuddered. “Don’t tell Claire
this, but bugs freak me out.”
“So it’s only Thrax that you can’t see being a mate. What about,” I
hesitated, feeling strangely reluctant to put the idea into her head that
Nemon was potentially attractive as a mate. “What about the other aliens
we’ve seen?”
She shot me a knowing look. “You mean the one with tentacles,
right?” She laughed with genuine humor at my chagrin. “Come on, I can
tell when someone’s fishing.”
“Okay, fine. You got me there, but what do you think?”
“Oh, honey, the top half of him is absolutely delicious. They don’t
make men that fine on Earth. The problem is when you get below the waist.
I don’t think I could handle all that. Plus, he’s huge. When we first saw him,
he was like ten feet tall, and that was with his tentacles still flailing around.
I don’t even know how long he is from head to tip, but how are you going
to fit someone like that into a suburban ranch home with a white picket
fence?”
 I hadn’t really considered the logistics. Nemon was very big.
Monstrously so. Thrax was at least within a human size range, though it
would have to be a very large human. Still, Nemon had managed to fit onto
the ship, and I assumed he fit into the doors and corridors to make his way
to the wet-hold, so it wasn’t completely impossible for him to get around in
normal human-sized spaces. I sighed, wondering why I was working so
hard to convince myself it would work with him. Was I really such a sucker
for a pretty face?
“He has nice hair,” Tarin said, winking at me.
He did have nice hair. I wondered if that part of him felt human.
“So, if he was smaller with fewer tentacles, would you go for him?”
She picked up her wine glass. “Why you asking me, if you want him
for yourself?” She held her free hand up when I opened my mouth to
protest. “Hey, no need to deny it. I’m not judging. To be honest, I shouldn’t
even judge Claire and her man. I can’t blame you all for looking for a safe
harbor after being captured and trapped in that place, and I don’t think
much would threaten you if that alien was protecting you.” She looked
around the dining room, her gaze resting on some of the Akrellian diners
and servers who were giving us a respectful distance. “To be honest, I think
the longer I live with the idea that aliens even exist, the easier I find it to
imagine falling for one. These Akrellians, some of them are kind of hot, if
you can overlook the scales and the spikes.”
“But you still want to go home.” I wasn’t asking. She’d already
made it clear that she had too much to return to.
She nodded. “I guess I’m too boring for life among the stars. I crave
the comforts of Earth, and of my family and friends. I’ll go back and settle
down someday with a nice, normal, human guy.” She stared down into her
almost-empty wineglass with a slight frown creasing her brow. “This time
will become just a memory, but if you choose to stay here, I’ll miss you.”
I sighed, wondering when I’d completely lost my mind. Sure, it was
shearing off bit by bit during my captivity, but even when I’d been almost
hysterical during our escape, I was certain that I still remained lucid. Yet
now, I was talking like a high school girl about a crush—only my crush had
tentacles and a galactic address. I should try and find a way to return to
Earth, with Tarin and maybe Theresa—I was almost certain Claire wouldn’t
leave Thrax, and Earth could not handle him—then I could focus on piecing
the remains of my life back together.
Only the thought of doing that depressed me, and the thought of
seeing Nemon again excited me.
 Chapter 6

JOANIE

When I asked Tarin to go with me to the wet-hold after lunch, she

didn’t hesitate or ask me if I was sure. After our talk, I think she might have
been as curious as I was to see him again, though I hoped not for the same
reason.
A new Akrellian crew member escorted us to the wet-hold, and I felt
the familiar twist of anticipation and fear that I’d always felt before placing
a bet, as we stood in front of the sliding door, waiting for our escort to
communicate with the deck crew about unlocking it.
I was a little irritated that they’d locked him in like a prisoner. I’d
been told that he was an ally, and no one had given a reason why we
shouldn’t trust him, other than simply what he was capable of. Of course, it
wasn’t my ship, and perhaps if I’d been responsible for an entire crew, I
would’ve taken the same precautions with someone like Nemon.
When the door finally slid open, releasing humid air fragrant with
the earthy scent of flowers and greenery, we took our first steps into the
wet-hold.
I was expecting a cargo-hold, like the one I’d been in when I’d first
become aware of being on a ship. This was not at all like that. Instead, it
was a warehouse-sized indoor park, complete with paved walkways and
large planters of greenery dotted beside several ponds, with a huge pool in
the center.
Our escort gestured to the door as we walked through it. “The wet-
hold has been temporarily closed to crew members out of respect for the
privacy of our new passenger.” She then waved her arms to encompass the
beautiful scenery. “This is usually a greensward where crewmembers can
come and relax during their downtime. Now, all recreational activity has
been moved to the starboard green.” Her reptilian eyes widened as she
glanced at the large pool. “Not that anyone is complaining, of course.”
She wouldn’t approach the large pool, and that was enough to tell
me where Nemon was. Instead, the escort remained close to the door,
pointing out various sites in the wet-hold with a rapid-fire monologue that
did nothing to cover up how nervous she was. I noted that two armed
guards had moved to the inside of the door, and were also fixing their
attention on the center pool.
I couldn’t really blame them. I was sure I was as scared as they
were. The last time I’d come into contact with Nemon had been a
frightening experience. Yet, I was also anxious to move closer to that
shimmering pool of water and look down into the depths, studying the
pebbled bottom that I could barely see from where I was standing.
Tarin hesitated when I stepped closer to the pool. I waved her back,
throwing her a reassuring glance before returning my attention to the water.
“It’s okay. I’ll go alone. I don’t think he’ll hurt me.” There was no reason I
would be certain of that–and I wasn’t—but I felt like he’d already had a
chance to hurt me and hadn’t taken it, so I was willing to give him the
benefit of the doubt this time.
“Be careful, Joanie,” Tarin hissed, looking like she was about to
grab my arm and pull me back out the door.
I nodded, not really paying any attention to her, too focused on what
was ahead of me to notice anything else. Even the holographic sky that was
projected on the arched ceiling didn’t capture my attention for more than a
brief, admiring glance.
Each step that brought me closer to the pool made me tenser, until I
could feel the pain in my upper back and neck from muscles knotted with
fear. Contrary to my fear, nothing leapt out at me from the depths of the
pool, and I was able to reach the edge of it and peer into the water.
I gasped as I took in the sight below me.
Nemon’s tentacles spread out along the bottom of the pool, clinging
to the pebbled surface, curling at the tips so that I could see the pale
undersides of them with their suction cups—the size of which seemed to
decrease along with the size of the tentacle itself as it extended from the
webbing and tapered to the much narrower tips.
They were so long that they took up most of the bottom of the large
pool, but for once, they weren’t moving, and I was able to count seven of
them spreading out from the webbing that started at his waist. His upper
body swayed hypnotically back and forth from an underwater current. His
long hair floated around him, and even as I watched, its color shifted with
the current, mimicking the bottom of the pool.
His eerie eyes were closed, but his face was upturned, so I could see
the perfection of his features. He really was beautiful—with high
cheekbones, finely sculpted lips, and an elegant brow. Perhaps his face was
even too refined for my tastes, since I preferred more rugged men, and he
had the look of a well-bred aristocrat. His pointed ears made him look like
an elf, and one of them had a translator attached to it that was similar to
mine.
I recalled his eyes, which had dominated my memory of his face.
They were a very pale gray, almost white, and they had a strangely shaped
black pupil, round in the center, but elongated beneath that round center,
like a slit. I’d never seen eyes like that before, and they’d lent a compelling
quality to his almost too-pretty face.
My gaze trailed from his face to his upper body, which was
magnificent. I admired the dips and curves and swells of muscle, studying
the biceps that bunched thickly on the upper portions of both of his arms,
then his strong forearms that ended in large hands tipped by webbed,
clawed fingers.
I glanced back at his face, and staggered backwards when I saw that
his eyes were open and staring back at me, in a gaze as intense as I’d
remembered.
Suddenly, Tarin was at my side, grabbing my arm to tug me
backwards. “Joanie, you okay?”
I gently shrugged her off, appreciating her concern, but not willing
to leave the pool just yet. “I’m fine. I was just surprised that he’d….” My
voice trailed off as he rose out of the water, looking for all the world like a
god of the sea as it streamed off his impressive upper body.
I heard Tarin whisper in awe behind me as I stepped closer to the
pool. Nemon settled with only his upper body breaking the surface of the
water, which left me standing slightly taller than him on the edge of the
pool. His skin and hair color shifted from mottled tan and brown—which
had allowed him to blend into the pebbles beneath him—to colors that
nearly matched my own hair and skin tone. Only his hair was not the mousy
brown of mine, but a warm chestnut color, and his skin did not look washed
out and sickly pale like mine, but more the shade mine should have been,
had I not spent months in captivity away from any natural light.
“Cool,” I breathed, not really intending to speak aloud.
“The water is cooler than the air, actually,” he said, speaking a
language I didn’t understand, but that my translator apparently did. His
voice was rich and deep, but the flash of sharp teeth revealed when his lips
moved was a bit unnerving.
“Wow! I’m actually doing it. I’m talking to you.”
He tilted his head, watching me with those eyes that both unnerved
me and excited me. “Is that not why you came here?” He gestured with one
hand to the park-like hold around us. “Or did you come to take in the
view?”
I wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic, or asking a genuine question.
I couldn’t tell by the tone of his voice.
He answered my question with his next words. “The Akrellians say
that this is a place of rest for their crew. That is probably why you’re here.”
He sank down into the water as if he was dismissing me.
“No!” I stepped up to the very edge of the pool, putting me close
enough to Nemon that I could touch what part of him remained out of the
water, which at that point was only the top of his head and his eyes, as they
continued to watch me. “I came here to see you.”
He lifted his head out of the water, his hair floating around his
shoulders, shimmering as it changed colors with the ripples in the water,
mimicking the play of shadows and light over the water’s surface. “Thrax
told me you were frightened. That you wouldn’t come to me on your own.”
And who was Thrax to decide that sort of thing for me? In fact, why
were they even talking about me at all? Although, it was kind of interesting
that I had been the subject of Nemon’s attention. “I am frightened. I’ve just
never been very good at listening to my more sensible side.”
He rose a little further out of the water, once again revealing the
glistening skin of his ripped upper body. The water lapped against the first
row of his perfect six-pack. I was distracted from his eyes for a moment. Or
maybe two. Or ten. “I would never hurt you,” he said so softly that I had to
return my attention to his face to see if he had spoken at all, or if I’d just
imagined it.
 “You swallowed me back in that hellhole prison we were in.” I
inched backwards, recalling that moment, when I’d been certain my death
was upon me. I had felt a sense of fatalism then, knowing that at least it
would be an ending to the pain, but now, I was more eager to live.
The tips of several of his tentacles curled out of the water, almost
like they were reaching for me. I took a few steps back, bumping into Tarin,
who was staring at Nemon’s chest with far more fascination than fear.
He glared at his own tentacles and pulled them back under the water.
Then he looked at me, and I could read the confusion on his face.
“Swallowed you?” He touched his shapely lips with the claw-tipped fingers
of one hand. I wondered what it would be like to touch him. Did he feel like
a man, or was his skin slick and slimy, like a sea creature.
“My mouth is here.” His tone made it sound like he was reminding
himself of this fact as much as pointing it out to me. He lowered his hand.
“I wasn’t swallowing you. I was trying to protect you from the Akrellian’s
weapons. Within my webbing, shielded by my tentacles, you would have
been less likely to be pierced if they started shooting.”
His explanation put a whole new perspective on things. “Why would
you risk yourself to protect me?”
“You are….” His brows drew together over his strange eyes, and his
skin shifted through an alarming array of colors. His gaze slid to the side,
and I could tell right away that he was going to lie to me. He wasn’t very
good at it, which was kind of funny since I suspected he was excellent at
hiding. “You were given into my keeping. It was my duty to protect you.”
His skin settled back again, returning to the color that was closest to my
tone.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say, but I was disappointed with
his answer. I wanted to know what he’d been about to say that had caused
such a reaction in him. “So, you were just doing your duty?”
He nodded hesitantly. “Yes. My duty is to protect you.”
This gave me a thrill, despite my disappointment. “You mean, you
still plan on protecting me?”
His gaze returned to mine as his body lifted further out of the water
until I could see the change from man to monster at his waist. “I will always
protect you.”
 I heard Tarin sigh beside me, reminding me that we had an audience
throughout this exchange. I glanced at her and saw that she was staring
adoringly at Nemon. I nudged her with my elbow to get her attention. She
glanced at me and winked. “I will always protect you, he says. That’s pretty
dreamy.”
I glanced behind us at the escort and guards waiting uncertainly by
the door, their attention wholly fixed on Nemon. “Hey, Tarin. You think you
could give us a minute?”
She made a disappointed face, but her grin as she turned her back on
Nemon and headed towards the door showed that she was amused by all of
this. “Don’t let this one squiggle out of the net, girl. There’s a lot of fish in
the sea, but none that unique.”
I was embarrassed by her implication, and was afraid he might have
overheard it, even though she’d whispered it in a low voice, but when I
looked back at Nemon, he showed no sign of having heard her comment.
Either that or he didn’t understand the meaning behind it.
I felt that fluttering, twisting feeling in my gut that I used to get
when I’d see my crushes in school. Only this was far more serious. Back
then, I’d been into the jocks, and as the quiet, poor kid who was only in
private school because of a grant, I hadn’t had a chance in hell of catching
their attention—much less holding it. Now, I had the focus of an alien, and
he’d sworn to protect me. After what I’d been through, I felt like I could use
a bodyguard with robot-crushing tentacles. The fascination I felt for him
was what I struggled with, and I wondered if he could feel the same interest
in me.
Now that Tarin had given us some privacy, I felt even more nervous.
Not that he would hurt me, because I believed him when he said he
wouldn’t. He was too bad at lying to pull that one off. I was nervous about
what to say to him. What did one say to an alien monster with tentacles?
Where do you buy your pants?
“What is your name?” he surprised me by asking before I could find
the right words to say—or blurt out something cringey and stupid, which
was more likely. “Thrax never told me.”
“Joanie.” I left my last name out of it. There was no point in
bringing up memories that were a mix of good and bad by mentioning it. I
certainly didn’t want to be called by it. “And yours is Nemon. It’s an
interesting name. What does it mean?”
He tilted his head, a crease forming as his brows drew together.
“Mean? It is what my father called me. He never told me what it meant.”
“Oh.”
“Your name is beautiful, Joanie. Does it have meaning?”
I thought of my mom, and as always, the memories carried a
bittersweet sting with them. “My mom named me Joanie because she was
far too fond of old TV shows.”
His confused expression remained. “TV shows?”
I exhaled on a sigh. “Oh, boy. This is going to take a while.” I
looked around the park-like area that surrounded the pool, spying a bench to
my left. “I think I’ll take a seat.”
“You want to rest here? Will you continue speaking with me,
Joanie?”
I nodded as I headed to the bench, glancing at Tarin to see that she
was deep in conversation with our escort. They’d also taken a bench near
the entry door.
His expression shifted from confusion to a broad smile, which bared
far too many shark-like teeth for my comfort.
 Chapter 7

JOANIE

There was so much to explain that we ended up speaking of

unimportant things like TV shows, instead of things I really wanted to know
about him.
Nemon had an almost child-like curiosity and asked so many
questions that I struggled to provide the answers. However, only a fool
would consider him lacking in intelligence. In fact, he was disturbingly
smart, making me feel stupid when he started inquiring about how
television actually worked. Saying that I just turned it on and it worked was
not enough of an explanation to satisfy him, but he allowed me to change
subjects.
I told him about Earth, but only in the most general sense, avoiding
speaking about my own life. I wasn’t ready for that yet. Those words would
have summoned memories that could bite.
Then I asked him about his home, and quickly realized that I wasn’t
the only one with a painful past.
His skin color shifted occasionally while I talked about Earth,
particularly when I mentioned the oceans, but when I asked about his home,
his skin changed to mimic his background with stunning accuracy. An ex-
boyfriend had once convinced me to go to a horror movie with him, which
had featured an alien that could “disappear” into the trees using high-tech
camouflage. You could only tell where he was when he moved. It had been
a gory movie, and I hadn’t enjoyed it, but I’d found that stealth camouflage
fascinating, and now Nemon was doing something very much like it. If I
hadn’t been looking right at him, I would have sworn he had disappeared.
Perhaps my surprised expression made him realize what he’d done,
because he quickly shifted his skin back to the color he seemed to take in
my presence. Since it was close to mine, I flattered myself to think that he
did it deliberately for me. “I take it that ‘home’ isn’t a happy memory?”
Colors washed over his skin, from brilliant jeweled tones to muted
earthy tans and browns, before finally stabilizing again. He wouldn’t meet
my eyes. “I don’t have a home. At least, not one that I remember well
enough to speak of it as you do of Earth.”
I leaned forward, reaching for him automatically, as if my touch
might provide comfort. I was only a hand’s-breadth away from contact with
his skin before I hesitated, pulling my hand back. His sharp gaze watched
me withdraw, and then he sank low into the water until it lapped at his neck,
and I had to crane mine to look down at him.
I felt guilty that I’d made it look like a rejection, when really, it was
fear that once I started touching him, I wouldn’t stop until I’d explored him
enough to satisfy my curiosity, and my curiosity about him was vast. I
didn’t think a groping session this early in our friendship was a good idea.
Especially not with someone who had the potential to grope back with so
many tentacles. Although, when I pondered what that would be like, I
wasn’t as horrified as I should have been.
“I’m sorry.” The words seemed inadequate, and I wasn’t even sure
what I was apologizing for—almost touching him, not touching him, asking
about his home, or the distress he obviously felt when I did so.
“You don’t have to apologize, Joanie. I shouldn’t expect you to
accept me so soon. I was told I would need Claire’s help first.”
Now I was the one who was confused. I leaned back on the bench.
“What are you talking about? You need Claire’s help for what?”
He got that shifty look again, and I wanted to tell him I knew he was
going to lie to me, but I didn’t want him to know that he had his tells. He
might figure out how to conceal them. “Did I say I needed her help? That’s
not what I meant. I meant I wanted Thrax’s help to figure out where I
should go now that the facility is gone.”
He was such a bad liar, but his words had some truth to them that
distracted me from his obvious prevarication. “You don’t want to return to
your homeworld, maybe rediscover your memories?” I didn’t really want to
go back to Earth, so this wasn’t all that surprising. Not everyone’s
homesickness drew them back to their origins.
He shrugged his shoulders underwater, causing his floating hair to
swirl around him so that it obscured the alien body that lurked below. I’d
avoided looking too deep into that water, not because I was horrified by
what it concealed, but because I wasn’t. “I miss the ocean, but it has been so
long. I remember there was constant danger there. Focusing on staying alive
didn’t leave much time to think. I liked Father’s lab better. When they
weren’t changing me, he let me explore their technology. He said that it was
good that I was learning so quickly, though it surprised him.”
I held up a hand. “Wait, your father was a scientist?” I don’t know
why that surprised me. I guess I’d assumed he was a primitive alien because
he didn’t wear clothes, but that was just ignorant of me, seeing as he
couldn’t exactly clothe a body like his.
Nemon shook his head. “I called him Father, but he was not the one
who provided the seed threads to weave my life. He was the one who
changed me,” he lifted one hand out of the water to gesture to his face, “into
this.”
“Changed you?” Comprehension dawned. “That’s right! You were
trapped in that facility as an experiment too.” Claire had mentioned that, but
I’d assumed that Nemon had been like me—a pin cushion for their
hypodermics. “You aren’t angry at this scientist you call Father for
changing you?”
He lowered his gaze, staring down into the water. “Thrax asked me
the same question. I am angry that he let them hurt me, but Father did try to
make it up to me. He tried to set me free. I don’t believe he had much time
to help me.” His skin flickered with color, bright spots rippling along the
surface before fading again. “When he released me into the warrens, he
seemed like he was in a rush. He’d said they were coming for him, and that
if he was caught, he would not be able to help me anymore. He warned me
to stay away from the facility and the machines.”
When he met my eyes again, his were cool, distant. “He said that he
would return for me, but I waited for many years down in that filthy
waterway, eating nothing but eels, with nothing to speak to but the echo of
my own voice. Father did not come, and I stopped believing he would. That
was what made me angry, but I also feared that ‘they’ had captured him.”
I didn’t know what to say. Perhaps Nemon simply had a case of
Stockholm syndrome and had bonded with his tormentor, or perhaps the
scientist he called Father really did have an ethical crisis and realized how
horrible their experiments were in time to free his subject. That would
certainly get him in hot water with his leaders. Saying “I’m sorry” again
wouldn’t offer much comfort and seemed like empty words anyway. “Are
you okay with how your father changed you?” I thought his face and body
were beautiful, and the tentacles—though they took some getting used to—
were magnificent in their own right. And his eyes… they alternately
creeped me out and drew me in. So strange, so alien—but I could still see
the emotion in them.
Nemon glanced down at his body, and I wished I could see more of
it myself. The ripples of the water caused distortion that concealed much of
it, and his tentacles had blended completely into the pebbled bottom of the
pool. “I like this new form. It is more rigid than my birth form, but I can
still change that if I need to.” He touched his face. “I look like my father
here.”
“So, it was your upper body that was changed. The…um… your
tentacles were a part of your original body?”
He met my eyes. “Does that bother you, Joanie?”
Did it? Though I could not explain it, I found him attractive as he
was, even though he had those tentacles, yet it felt strange to acknowledge
that he’d been even more a tentacle-monster at one time than he was now,
and I realized why. The almost-human features of his upper body had
allowed me to humanize him to a certain extent. It made my attraction to
him acceptable to me. Understandable. But beneath the surface, he was all
alien. I didn’t think I could ever understand him, and that scared me. What
if I misread everything about him because I was thinking of him like a
human? His tone had been almost defiant, as if he expected me to say that it
bothered me—as if he knew that I was conflicted about it. “I think it’s going
to take some getting used to. On Earth, there is only one sentient species.” I
shrugged. “That we know of. So this whole alien thing is blowing my
mind.” I made a motion with my fingers by my temple to mimic an
explosion.
His eyes widened, his skin shifting through a rainbow of colors as
he rose out of the water so fast that I could barely blink before his face was
only inches from mine. I vaguely heard cries of alarm and warning from the
other people in the hold, but my full attention was focused on Nemon.
“Your mind is being harmed?” He searched my eyes as if he could
see little explosions going off behind them. “We must find a healer! I don’t
know how to stop this mind-blowing!”
I burst into laughter, waving my hand behind me to halt the guards
from rushing Nemon. I didn’t think it would go well for them, because in
my periphery, I saw tentacles snaking out of the water to surround my
bench. They didn’t touch me, but I kind of wanted them to.
“Nemon, it’s just an expression. I didn’t mean my mind is literally
being blown. I just meant that I’m struggling to comprehend everything that
I’m seeing and hearing, and I’m feeling off-kilter. I’m okay. I don’t need a
healer.” My words ended on a breath as I inhaled his scent. He didn’t smell
fishy or slimy. In fact, he smelled delicious—like a man. He was so close to
me that I could see his eyelashes curling long and lush above his eyes with
their strange pupils. If I leaned forward just a bit, I could press my lips to
his.
“Girl, maybe take things a little slower,” I heard Tarin say in a low
voice from nearby.
A quick glance at her showed that her eyes were wide in a pale face.
She stood just beyond the ring of tentacles coiling and twisting around my
bench.
Her warning was a good one. I wasn’t ready for this kind of close
encounter with an extraterrestrial. I was still reeling mentally, just as I’d
explained to Nemon, and that made me vulnerable and incautious. It also
made me question this strange attraction to him. I’d enjoyed talking to him,
but I tried to avoid making out with anyone on a first date, even if they did
have lips that seemed made to inspire sinful thoughts.
“I.…I should go. Right now.” I put a hand out, but didn’t go so far
as to touch his chest to push him away. I was afraid that I’d end up pulling
him into me instead. My mouth was dry, and my lips tingled with the desire
to kiss him. I feared that he wouldn’t back away. That he’d continue to
tempt me by his proximity.
He proved that he had more sense than I did, withdrawing from the
bench, his tentacles making barely a sound as they disappeared back
underwater. He followed them, slowly sinking until only his head remained
above the surface. “I enjoyed talking with you. I will think on your words.”
A brief frown crossed his face. “Are you certain your mind is safe?”
I laughed. “Hardly, but it’s not in danger of exploding.”
 Chapter 8

NEMON

I didn’t want to watch Joanie’s retreat. It bothered me to see her

walking away from me. My tentacles wanted to wrap around her and pull
her back—pull her closer to me in an embrace that hadn’t happened, but
that had been so close. It was only my resolve to wait for her acceptance
that forced my tentacles to be still. I wouldn’t scare her again.
Still, I took comfort from her visit, and also gained hope that her
acceptance of me as a mate might not be as distance a dream as Thrax had
made it sound. I wanted more than anything to explain that she was my
mate, but I sensed that it would have been too soon, and I might frighten her
off.
When I had been close to her—so close that I could breathe her in
with the air that I drew into my lungs—I had seen her eyes widen, her
nostrils flare, and her moistened lips part. None of that had been from fear.
She’d looked at me with an almost hungry expression, but I didn’t think she
wanted to eat me, though with the females of my species, desire to mate and
hunger usually came together, often to the detriment of the males.
Of course, I wasn’t experienced with her species. It was possible
that I was wrong about how I had read her reaction, but when she left me,
she had not been running away in fear. That much I knew for certain. I’d
learned far too well what it looked like when someone was fleeing for their
lives.
I sank to the bottom of the pool, enjoying my new home far more
than my previous one. The water was clean, and a pump moved a strong
current that comforted me. I didn’t have to remain in the pool, but the
cleanliness of the water—and my desire to remain hidden from the
Akrellians’ machine eyes—kept me submerged rather than exploring the
park setting around my pool.
Sitting still allowed me time to think on what Joanie had said. All
the things she’d said.
 Like Thrax, she’d questioned my feelings about Father. Instead of
making me feel defensive, as his question had, Joanie’s question made me
really consider how I felt. That consideration brought memories back.
Father’s face, a mirror image of the one I wore now. His covered in a sheen
of sweat, his eyes—very different from mine—wide with fear as his gaze
flitted back and forth, studying our surroundings. “I’ve done you wrong,
Nemon. You shouldn’t be in this prison, and I won’t let them continue to
hurt you.”
I hadn’t known where he was leading me then, but thought it was
strange that he hadn’t brought any of the mechdroids to accompany us. Still,
I followed him willingly, because I trusted him. He had made me, and
called me his son. The life I’d had before might as well have not existed,
since I recalled so little of it, and nothing about those memories made me
want to return to that past.
He led us into a large laboratory, and I felt a sense of
disappointment, but was already bracing myself for more injections and
pain. Father would include pain dampeners in the injections. He’d started
doing that after my first screams of agony after the expansion of my newly-
formed lungs made him aware of how much they were hurting me.
But Father didn’t ask me to climb onto the table, or even lay my
tentacles across it for a deeper study of my receptors. Instead, he went to a
wall, where there were less machines than on the other walls, and touched
it. A door seam appeared in the wall, and then slid open.
I could hear the hiss of air escaping from a tunnel exposed by the
opening. It smelled old and dank and tasted foul.
He turned to me with a sad expression. “I’m sorry, my son. I can’t
get you out of the facility yet. They’ve locked it down tight because they
know something’s wrong. The maintenance warrens are the best place for
you to hide for now. There’s plenty of water down there for you to swim.
No one uses these entrances anymore. I doubt they will have forgotten
about them, but when I leave here, I’m going to make it look like I took you
with me, so hopefully, they won’t think to check there.” He didn’t seem too
confident of his own words, but gestured that I should enter the tunnel.
“Why don’t you just take me with you?” I asked, though I
approached the tunnel obediently.
 He sighed. “Because I don’t think they’ll let me escape.” He glanced
over his shoulder at the door to the lab, and then waved towards the
entrance. “They will shoot a ship down if they think it has an escaped
subject on it. They’ll make certain that nothing remains. You will be free,
once they believe that you’re dead. You must stay away from the machines.
You can hide, Nemon. Better than anyone I’ve ever seen. So use that skill.
Stay hidden. Always.”
My agitation caused my tentacles to curl around his arms and legs,
as if I could drag him through the tunnels with me, and we could both
escape this danger that made him so frightened and sad. I didn’t want to be
alone. I didn’t want my father to leave me. I had no one else. “Go with me.”
I pointed with my arm towards the tunnel. “I will help you hide.”
He smiled, though it didn’t seem to be a happy expression. Then he
reached into his coat, and pulled out a stuffed animal. I recognized it as
being like the ones that had been in the play area Father had made me. He’d
admitted to me later that they hadn’t expected me to advance in intelligence
so quickly, so had planned my development to be like that of a child. It was
only after I had the mouth to speak and the lungs to draw air that Father
discovered that I had been sentient before they’d begun their experiments to
change me.
Despite my advancement, the stuffed animals had been intriguing in
texture and composition, just like many of the other “toys” he’d set out for
me. I had explored each one for hours with my tentacles, then later with my
new fingers and hands, even tasting some of them with my new mouth.
“Playing” with the items allowed me to adjust the pressure of my tentacles
as I grew accustomed to my new form and the medium of air. It was better
than playing with mechdroids or scientists. Damaged toys were cheap to
replace, and the stuffed animals had enough give in them that they couldn’t
be crushed.
I’d taken the stuffed animal automatically when he’d handed it to
me, but when he told me to keep it to remind me of him, I cradled it to my
chest, holding onto it for dear life because I realized that he wouldn’t let me
hold onto him. He was sending me off alone. And alone was how I would
remain.
“You have to come back for me,” I’d insisted, refusing to release his
limbs unless he made a promise we both knew he wouldn’t be able to keep.
 Finally, he relented, running one shaking hand through his hair. “I’ll
try to come back for you, Nemon. There’s an elevator that can take you to
the surface from the warrens. I don’t think they remember that. It was
abandoned when the facility was built over the ruined city of Simatica. I
will use that elevator to find you, and we will both use it to escape this
place for good.” He glared at me sternly as he pushed at my tentacles,
attempting unsuccessfully to dislodge their hold on him. “Until I return, you
must hide. Stay away from all the machines—even the maintenance
machines. If you find anyone down in the warrens, don’t go near them.
Don’t let them see you. Everyone must believe you are dead, or they will
never give up hunting for you.”
I’d obeyed Father about the machines, but I hadn’t been able to
resist the people I found in the warrens. I’d gotten too close, and they’d
attacked me. When I killed two of them, they’d fled, but only after leaving
me wounded and missing tentacles. I had not followed to see where they’d
gone. And Father had never come back for me.
Yet, I couldn’t be angry at him, because I knew that he had
sacrificed everything—probably even his life—to set me free. Perhaps he’d
hoped that I would one day find the elevator on my own, but I had not even
searched for it after encountering the people in the warrens. I’d been too
afraid. It had taken too long to heal from their weapons. After that, hiding
seemed like the best plan, and I realized I should have listened to my father
in the first place.
As I lay at the bottom of my new pool, contemplating my memories,
I sensed the approach of someone large through the vibration of the water
with each step he took closer to it. I stiffened, opening my eyes as I
recognized that step, though the owner of it was stealthy in his own right.
By the time Thrax reached my poolside, I was already stretching my
tentacles underneath me to rise out of the water, sucking in air through my
nostrils to inflate my lungs, while my gills collapsed to lie flat against my
sides.
I was surprised to see that Claire was with him. She stood beside
him, her hand held in his lower hand, her expression uncertain as she stared
at me.
Thrax wrapped an upper arm over her shoulder to pull her closer to
him as I returned her curious stare. I could sense his tension, and I was very
careful to keep my tentacles still. Allowing me this close to his mate was
making him murderous—or more murderous—and I could only assume that
it had been her idea.
She was soft and pretty, but nowhere near as beautiful as my mate,
though I could understand why Thrax had chosen her. She had kind eyes,
and a determined chin. Her expression reminded me of Father’s when he
had risked everything to free me.
“You move one tentacle towards her and you die today, Nemon,”
Thrax said, the pincer on his free upper arm spreading open as it extended. I
recognized the threatening body language, though the pincer wouldn’t do
much more to me than cut up my tentacles a bit. It was the stingers that
were slightly poking out of his waist that were my primary concern.
Fortunately, I meant neither of them any harm.
Claire sighed and shook her head, glaring at him. “That’s not the
way to begin a friendship, Thrax.”
“Who said we were friends?” he growled back, never taking his
eyes off me.
She pulled away from him to take a step closer to me, and I could
tell that the only reason he let her go was because he didn’t want to hurt her
by restraining her forcefully. “I say you’re friends, and it’s time to start
working on trust.” She held out her hand to me. “My name is Claire. I think
it’s time we formally met.”
Thrax was suddenly beside her, so close to the edge of my pool now
that he could have fallen in with the slightest shift of his weight. This time,
his eyes were on Claire, but those jewel-like small eyes on his facial plates
were still pointed in my direction. “Why are inviting him to touch you? You
are my mate.”
Her eyes rolled from one side to the other without focusing on
anything, and I pondered the meaning of such an expression as she spoke in
an impatient voice to her mate. “Thrax, shaking hands with someone when
we meet is a human way of greeting them. It doesn’t mean anything beyond
that.”
“Don’t touch her,” he said to me, not taking his eyes off of either of
us.
She dropped her hand. “Since Mr. Caveman here has a problem with
saying hello, let’s just talk about why I’m here.”
 “You will help me earn Joanie’s acceptance then?” I tried to keep
my tentacles still, but it was difficult not to allow them to rise around me
with my eagerness.
She studied me, ignoring her mate’s glowering presence with
admirable calm. “Well, I really think we should talk about what the future
holds for all of us first….”
I wanted to interrupt her and tell her that I’d heard the Akrellians
talking enough about what was going to happen next. I knew that we were
important to them for the moment, and I would worry about the future later.
Right now, I wanted to secure my mate’s acceptance so that wherever I
went next, she would be with me, but I might still need Claire’s help, even
though Joanie had come to me on her own. So I remained silent, waiting for
her to finish.
Seemingly unconsciously, she reached out to stroke Thrax’s plates
with one hand, her gaze still on me. “But, I understand now how strong the
compulsion is for you guys when you find your mates. I don’t want you to
ignore everything else I say that doesn’t have to do with Joanie.”
I couldn’t deny that I might have done just that, but something else
about her words caught my attention. “Compulsion?”
She nodded. “I know about what happens with Iriduan males, and
since you guys have been altered with their DNA, it happens to you too.”
She glanced at Thrax, her expression filled with the kind of devotion I
wanted to see on Joanie’s face when she looked at me. When Claire turned
her focus back to me, her gaze was cool again, the heat gone from her eyes.
“The thing is, it takes more than a little whiff of pheromones to make a girl
fall in love. You have to work on it, and Joanie has been through a lot, so
you can’t just barrel in and start asking her to mate with you.” She smirked
at Thrax, who shrugged his upper arms. “She needs time to get to know
you. And you need time to get to know her too. I know you can’t choose
your mate—”
I had to interrupt her there. “But I did choose her. As soon as Thrax
gave her to me, I chose to accept his gift. She is perfect.”
Claire chewed on her lip, drawing attention to the hole beneath it.
“You poor guys. One whiff and you’re lost.”
I didn’t know what she was talking about. It wasn’t Joanie’s scent
that had made my decision for me. I just knew that she was the right mate
from the moment she opened her eyes and looked into mine, her fear
palpable even as she’d studied me in defiant silence, waiting for a death that
I would never have visited upon her.
Claire shot another glance at Thrax, and this one held a different
kind of heat—the heat of irritation. “It’s unfortunate that events happened
the way they did. It would have been nice to spare you from the insta-love,
so that you could have time to get to know Joanie first.”
“Someone had to hold her.” Thrax didn’t sound contrite.
Claire waved a hand. “It’s all water under the bridge now.” She
caught my glance towards the small footbridge that spanned my pool,
wondering what she meant about the water beneath it. Her chuckle brought
my gaze back to her. “You guys are so much fun when you don’t get our
sayings.” She jerked a thumb at Thrax. “He thought I could wrap my head
around things as a defense-mechanism.”
Realization struck me. “Your sayings? Is this like the mind-blowing
not meaning that your mind is being wounded?”
She put a hand to her forehead. “Oh man, that must have freaked
you out.” She tried to muffle her chuckles with her hand over her mouth,
but I still heard them clearly.
Actually, now it made me feel foolish, especially since she was
laughing at me, just as Joanie had. I shared a commiserating glance with
Thrax. “How does one tell when you are making a saying?”
Thrax answered before Claire could. “You won’t know until they
start laughing at your response.” Despite his words, he sounded more
amused than irritated, and I suspected that had everything to do with the
fact that he enjoyed watching his mate laugh, just as I had loved the way
laughter had lit up Joanie’s face, even when I’d felt embarrassed by the
miscommunication.
Claire’s smile continued to tug at her lips as she shook her head at
Thrax. “We could all use a little laughter, but getting back to the problem at
hand,” she returned her searching gaze to me. “Thrax tells me you are very
dangerous, Nemon.”
I nodded. There was no point in lying about the obvious.
She seemed nonplussed by that response, as if she’d expected me to
deny it. “O-kay, well, that might be a problem. I don’t want anyone to get
hurt, especially not Joanie. She’s been through hell.”
 I held up both hands, my tentacles twisting underwater so much that
it began to churn around my waist. “I would never harm Joanie! I can
control myself now.”
“Oh…,” she eyed the churning water, taking a step back as Thrax
wrapped his arms around her, turning his body so that he stood between us.
“What exactly do you mean by ‘now’?” She peered around Thrax’s arm so
that she could continue to watch me as I struggled to still my tentacles.
“Was there a time when you couldn’t control yourself?”
I hung my head, not wanting to admit to anything that would
jeopardize my chances with Joanie, but also not wanting to lie to Claire,
because I suspected that if she didn’t see through it, Thrax would, and he
would not be happy about it. “When I was first changed, I had to relearn
how to use my body. Sometimes, my tentacles would respond to perceived
threats without my conscious thought. They might have hurt… or killed… a
person or two.” And destroyed a lot of mechdroids. So many that Father
had stopped using them during his experiments on me.
She tried to pull away from Thrax as the water calmed around me,
but he didn’t release her this time, and I could see that his stinger on the
side of him visible to me was fully extended. “So was this when they were
torturing you?”
I pondered the word. I hadn’t considered it torture, so much as
simply a side effect of change, but I supposed that it was extremely painful.
I just didn’t like to acknowledge what that meant about the one who’d
ordered the experiments. The one I had trusted and called Father. Still,
Claire sounded sympathetic, rather than distressed, so I nodded again,
unable to speak the negative words against the man who’d made me.
With a few sharp words to Thrax, Claire got him to release her
enough that she could stand beside him again, rather than tucked behind
him. He wasn’t happy about it, and I could tell that he would move much
faster than I could if he thought I posed a threat to her. His tension alone
was enough to thicken the air between us.
“So, these deaths, they weren’t really your fault, Nemon. Did you
like harming people?”
Thrax pointed an accusing finger at me and I flinched, knowing
what was coming. “He threatened to harm me. Come to think of it,” he
gestured to the spaces where his natural armor appeared to have already
regenerated over his chest, “he did harm me.”
Claire sighed, though the sympathy had not completely left her
eyes. “That’s true. Your first meeting with Thrax—and with me—was not a
good one, Nemon. I need to know that you aren’t going to hurt anyone else.
I’m willing to trust, but only so far, and you’ve already put a strain on that.”
The stretched tentacles that held me up out of the water sagged with
my dejection, and I slowly sank down until only my head remained above
the surface. Beneath the water, all of my tentacles curled into my body as if
to protect me from an incoming blow. “I made a mistake. I feared Thrax,
but also wished to satisfy my curiosity about him. I had approached others
in that same part of the warren, many years before, and they’d attacked me.
This time, I didn’t want to give him a chance to attack first.”
She exhaled a heavy breath. “So you were the one who killed those
people in the maintenance quarters.”
Thrax stared at me with hard eyes, so I was surprised when he spoke
up in my favor. “That was in defense. We cannot hold that against him.” He
glanced at Claire. “Besides, I would have killed all of them.”
She rubbed her forehead with her thumb and forefinger. “We’re
working on that, Thrax. You’re not going to do stuff like that anymore.
Right now, I want to focus on Nemon.” She lowered her hand and gave me
a small smile. “So, the deaths that you caused were in self-defense. I’m
certainly not going to hold that against you.” Her expression when she
glanced at Thrax was both exasperated and fond. “But I need to know that
the killing has stopped.” She narrowed her eyes, looking from me to Thrax
and then back. “For both of you. The killing cannot happen again, unless
you must defend yourselves.”
Thrax took her arm, tugging her close. “I will still kill for you,
Claire. You cannot ask me to refrain from protecting you.”
“I will kill to protect Joanie,” I added, just so that we were clear on
that. I could not swear to anything unless that was a condition.
Claire threw her free hand up. “Okay, okay. No killing except when
you must defend yourself or your mates.” She chewed her lip before
adding, “Or your friends.”
Thrax crossed his arms over his chest. “I have no friends.”
 Claire did the strange rolling thing with her eyeballs again. “Oh,
give it up, Thrax. Like it or not, you and Nemon are buddies now.”
He glared at me. “I don’t like it.”
I couldn’t remember ever having a friend before. There had only
been Father. The other scientists feared me after I killed some of them, and
the mechdroids could not think for themselves. Before I was changed, I
only vaguely recalled spending most of my time alone, focused on
surviving, hiding from the bigger monsters that roamed the ocean looking
for prey like me. Others of my kind had been threats and competition, so
had been avoided unless it was time to mate.
Thrax was the not the one I might have chosen as a friend, but it
seemed that the choice had been made for me, because Claire wanted it. I
knew Thrax would do whatever she wanted. I felt the same way about
Joanie.
 Chapter 9

JOANIE

Nightmares chased me out of sleep, and I awakened in a dark cell.

Despair filled me as the walls closed in, threatening to crush me, but I
feared what lay beyond even more. The robots, the needles, the pain.
As awareness returned, I realized that I was sitting in my assigned
cabin on an Akrellian ship, rocking back and forth on the cot with my arms
clasped around my knees. Tears dampened my cheeks and soaked the neck
of the jumpsuit I wore.
Slowly, I unclasped my hands and stretched out my legs, staring at
my bared toes as if they were detached from me. Under the cot, a pair of
boots waited for me to slip my feet into them.
I had them on in seconds and had reached the door in only a few
steps before I even acknowledged where I wanted to go. All I knew at first
was that I couldn’t remain in that tiny cabin, where it didn’t seem like I
could draw enough air to breathe.
Outside the cabin, my steps were sure as I sucked in grateful gasps
of recycled air. It smelled of machinery and plastic, and no matter how
much geometric and stylistic design-work adorned the corridor, the
utilitarian nature of this part of the ship couldn’t be completely concealed.
Fortunately, I wasn’t staying in this part of the ship. When I reached
the elevator, I used my handprint to unlock it. The escorts had shown us all
the areas we were permitted to go, and keyed them to our biometrics. They
trusted us only as far as they must to make us feel like guests rather than
prisoners, but even that was enough. It was nice not to have someone
hovering over my shoulder all the time. I’d had enough of that with the
robots always escorting me. Walking around on my own felt like a luxury.
In the elevator, I was permitted to make my selection, and the
hologram lit up for the wet-hold deck. I braced myself for the elevator’s
movement, but it was so smooth and silent that the doors slid open on the
corridor leading to my destination before I realized it had moved at all.
 I stepped out of the elevator, my steps hesitant for the first time
since I’d left my cabin. There was no one with me this time to urge me on,
or urge greater caution. I froze a few paces away from the locked door into
the wet-hold, feeling the eyes of hidden security cameras recording my
indecision.
At least the Prime Commander had relocated the guards, so that they
weren’t hovering by the door. I wondered at his decision, but then recalled
that this area was currently off-limits for their crew, and there was an
airlock that could cut it off from the rest of the ship. If Nemon got out of
control, the Akrellians could lock him down and even shut off life support
for him. The only people allowed in this area without prior approval from
the commander were the ones the Akrellians took to be Nemon’s friends.
But were we friends? The word didn’t seem adequate to describe
any kind of relationship with someone like Nemon. Could so prosaic a word
even apply to an alien? Besides, I wasn’t sure what I felt about him, but I
was certain friendship wasn’t the full extent of it.
I should turn around and go back to my cabin. If I couldn’t stand to
return to that cramped place, I could use my translator to communicate with
Theresa, Tarin, or even Claire—though I hated to disturb her while she was
with her mate.
Except that I knew that everyone was sleeping now. We’d already
stayed up late in the deck recreational room, talking for hours and pigging
out on snacks provided by the crew. We’d kept Claire from being with
Thrax for so long that the surly alien had come to the room looking for her,
causing Theresa to let out a squeak of fear, while Tarin tried to conceal her
shudder.
I had taken that moment of distraction to really study Thrax,
deciding that he wasn’t nearly as disturbing as I’d initially thought. He was
unquestionably monstrous, but at the same time, there was an aesthetic to
his form, and his exoskeleton and facial plates made him look like a space
ninja out of some comic book, which I thought was pretty cool. I couldn’t
appreciate his appearance as much as Claire did, but I could understand her
feelings for him more, especially after talking to her and learning exactly
how devoted Thrax was to her.
She could have told him to bug off—even intending the pun—and
from what she’d told us, he would have, regardless of whether he wanted
to, because he would do anything for her. Instead, she’d risen to her feet and
had made her apologies to us, then had gone eagerly to her mate, taking one
of his lower hands as she’d glanced over her shoulder to wave goodbye to
us. It had been clear that—in addition to the physical imperative that Claire
had explained had been engineered into Thrax—they had bonded on a
deeper level, and she didn’t need some “imprinting” gene to want to be with
him.
The other women had discussed imprinting at length, fascinated by
what Claire had learned during her captivity about our alien captors. Claire
had managed to do even more research, taking to the offered GalactaNet
access like a fish to water. She seemed comfortable navigating a massive
network that spanned thousands of lightyears. I couldn’t even fathom the
amount of information to be found on it, and wouldn’t even be tempted to
ponder how it worked, though Claire had been told that the Lusians had
developed it—those creepy gray aliens that I had believed to be my captors.
Claire had figured out the galactic version of Google like she’d grown up
using it.
I was less inclined to speak of the Iriduans and had no interest in
researching them. I’d never seen them, because I’d been the garbage they’d
only had one use for. They hadn’t bothered to open up a monitor to tell me
why I was there, or what they wanted from me, and not once had the robots
—mechdroids as Claire had said they were called—ever spoken to me in
anything other than a preprogrammed way.
They’d revealed to Claire that she was going to be a breeder, but
that was something I could not have been for them. I had a chromosome
abnormality that had caused multiple miscarriages before my medical
insurance allowed me to get tested for it. The one man I’d ever committed
to hadn’t wanted to pursue other options for having children at that point,
and my four-year marriage had fallen apart as our goals for the future
diverged. I’d gone back to live with my mother, feeling like a failure, and
like always, she’d been there for me, opening her home and her arms to
take me in.
I tried not to think about my ex-husband or my lost babies. Those
were minefields I’d learned to avoid, yet knowing that I’d been passed over
as a breeder even for monster alien babies had brought all that failure and
heartbreak surging back to the surface.
 Sometimes, the shit would get so deep that it felt like I couldn’t
wade through it anymore, and I wondered whether it wouldn’t just be better
to stop fighting and let it bury me. I’d been rejected for the Iriduan’s alien
breeding program, but they hadn’t even had the decency to chuck me out of
a handy airlock. Instead, they’d used me for hypodermic dart practice,
torturing me for whatever unknown purposes they had, and because they’d
never bothered to talk to me about it, I would never have an answer as to
why.
The other women seemed to believe we were all intended for
breeding, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it, so I had let their conversation
flow around me, knowing that they needed that. It was like group therapy.
Fear and pain had poured out of them in words they couldn’t hold back. I
wished I could purge the poison of my own wounds as they had.
It was little wonder I now found myself standing outside the door of
the wet-hold, unable to sleep and unable to turn to the women whose
experiences were like mine, but not enough to fully relate.
Nemon’s experiences would be nothing like mine, yet I felt like he
was the only one I wanted to talk to. Perhaps because I didn’t want to talk
about my captivity, and Nemon was interesting enough to distract me from
own nightmares.
In a moment of courage, I pressed my palm against the biometric
reader beside the door. It scanned my print and the door slid open.
The air that wafted out of the wet-hold was humid and warm, which
probably aided the lush, jungle-like foliage that filled the artistic planters
around the pool and ponds. I only hesitated slightly before crossing the
threshold, and jumped a little when the door slid closed behind me. The
biometric panel on the inside of the door was lit up and visible, despite the
hologram that covered the ceiling and walls, projecting an image of a green
glade and a canopy of trees that concealed all but the merest hints of a
periwinkle sky. Despite the sudden feeling of being trapped, I knew I
wasn’t. The door would open if I touched that panel, allowing me to escape.
Instead of fleeing, as a part of me wanted to do, I made my way
towards the center pool, my eyes fixed on the smooth, unbroken surface of
the water. I stumbled over a stray vine lying across my path, and suddenly it
snaked around my ankle. I yelped, falling backwards, but more vines caught
me before I hit the ground.
 Then I realized that they weren’t vines at all, as tentacles curled
around me, setting me on my feet again. The green of them shifted so they
no longer blended completely into the surrounding foliage, and so too, did
Nemon’s upper body shift colors until I could see him between the trees that
spread their branches out of one large planter.
I shivered in the hold of his tentacles, even though they were gentle
around me, easing up pressure as soon as they steadied me. It wasn’t so
much fear, as nervous anticipation, that struck me, having them wrapped
around me like that. For a moment, I stood silent, waiting to see what he
would do next. A part of me was disappointed when he withdrew his
tentacles, uncoiling them from my body to lay motionless near my booted
feet.
“I’m sorry I stepped on you,” I said, feeling breathless as I looked
into his eyes.
He shook his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you that I was here. I
didn’t want to startle you by suddenly revealing myself.”
I laughed, but it was more an expression of nerves than humor.
“That’s a handy trick you have there. Must be useful.”
He moved his upper body closer to me, the color of his skin
changing even as I watched, until it replicated mine. I marveled at the fluid
way he swayed forward, using his tentacles to position his upper body next
to me. So much of him was concealed in the foliage that what was exposed
of him almost looked to be within a human size-range. “When I’m sleeping,
it is useful to conceal myself from threats.”
“You were sleeping?” I turned back to the door. “I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have bothered you.”
A tentacle curled around my arm, not tight enough to squeeze, but
the feeling of its suckers tugging on my skin caused me to freeze. “Please,
don’t go, Joanie. I can sleep another time.”
As soon as I glanced down at the tentacle restraining me, it released
me and pulled away, withdrawing back into the trees and bushes. I
swallowed to wet my throat, seeking something to say to this alien stranger
who was so compelling to me.
“Why aren’t you sleeping, Joanie.” His voice was soft behind me, so
close that I could feel his breath brush against my ear.
 I hugged myself, rubbing my arms to smooth the goosebumps that
broke out on my skin. “I had a nightmare.” I hadn’t expected to be honest
when I answered, but the words slipped out, pushing past the excuses and
lies.
“What is a nightmare?”
I turned back to him to discover that he was close enough to kiss, if
I had been so bold. I took a step away, and he didn’t pursue, his strange
eyes watching my retreat without a readable expression. “You’ve never had
a nightmare?” I spoke quickly to cover up the nervous quaver of my voice.
He shook his head. “I cannot know if I’ve had one. I don’t know this
word.”
“I see.” I resisted the urge to reach out to him, clinging to my own
arms with a grip hard enough to bruise. “A nightmare is a scary dream. In
my case, I dreamed I was back in the facility. That I’d never escaped.”
“A dream?” His expression was thoughtful. “Is that what happens
when you sleep?”
“You don’t dream?”
A tentacle extended towards my boot, stroking over the leather-like
material before he glared down at it and it slithered away. “I have dreams, I
think. I visit places when I sleep, but when I awaken, I can’t remember
them for long. Like the time before I was changed.”
I nodded a little desperately, feeling like a bobblehead. “Yes, that’s a
dream. They always slip away. At least, the good ones do. The nightmares
seem to linger, even when the images fade. The horror holds on to you.”
More tentacles slipped out of the greenery to dance around me,
whipping close, then curling upon themselves just before they made contact
with my skin. It seemed like he had to make an effort to force them into
stillness, and when I turned my attention from the writhing tentacles to his
face, I saw that it had darkened, and a terrible scowl pulled his lips back to
reveal his sharp teeth. “They hurt you, Joanie. I want to hurt them in
return.”
The fierceness of his expression was both frightening and exciting.
His refined features had twisted into something dark and dangerous. He no
longer looked like an elf, but rather a demon. I wanted to turn away, but I
couldn’t. “They did hurt me. But according to Claire, they’re already dead.
We escaped the facility before the Iriduan military launched a bunch of
missiles at it to contain the situation.”
Apparently, our escape had been a narrow one. If the Akrellians
hadn’t been in the area searching for their lost warriors, they never would
have detected the emergency beacon sent up by the facility when Thrax and
Nemon had torn apart the electrical cables that powered the buildings, in an
effort to unlock the doors and disable facility defenses. The Akrellians
believed that their Dancer had guided their flight, and that they were
destined to rescue us. I just figured we were incredibly lucky.
Nemon’s enraged expression relaxed. “I had heard some of this.
Still, someone should suffer for what they’ve done to you.”
I laughed bitterly. “I think there’s been enough suffering for now.”
“You don’t want revenge?”
I shook my head. “Claire and the others want justice. I’m sure Thrax
wants revenge. But me, I’m just tired of it all. I want to think of something
else besides that horrible place for just a few minutes. I feel like it’s all
anyone can talk about, but I won’t feel like I’ve truly escaped until I can
stop hearing about it.”
His tentacles curled up around him, pulling close to his body. “I’m
sorry. I should not have spoken of it.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m the one who mentioned it first, but it’s okay. I
can’t avoid the subject forever.” I wanted to, though. I gestured to the wet-
hold around us. “What do you think of this place?”
The change of subject was clumsy and abrupt, but he accepted it
without comment. “It’s far better than where I was living when I found
Thrax.”
I felt a genuine bit of amusement at his mention of Thrax. “Yeah, I
wondered about that. Claire said something about you almost killing him.
Seems like that would be pretty tough to do.”
He shrugged, the muscles in his upper body rippling beautifully.
“Claire exaggerates. I only dented him a little.”
I grinned at that. “Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t break him.
Claire really likes him, and I don’t think she would have forgiven you.”
He returned my smile, though he was careful not to bare his teeth, as
if he had noted that they disturbed me. “I would have thrown him back as
soon as I caught him if I didn’t realize how dangerous it would be to let him
go.”
“And now you guys are friends?”
“So Claire tells us.”
“You know, you two make an intimidating team.” Judging by our
escape from the facility, they had been an unstoppable team.
His tentacles unfurled from around him and waved in the air as if
they were pleased with the admiration in my voice. “Do you think this
intimidation is a good thing?” His tone sounded less certain that I’d meant it
as a compliment.
I nodded. “As long as you’re on my side, I’m all for it.”
His smile broadened enough to show teeth. “I’m always on your
side. I will protect you, Joanie.”
My own smile faltered. “Because Claire and Thrax told you to?”
His gaze was intent on mine. “Because I want to.”
 Chapter 10

NEMON

The nose through which I breathed air seemed so inadequate to

smell the subtle fragrance of my mate. Unless I was close to her, the plants
in their moist earth had a stronger scent that overwhelmed her delicious soft
musk. I didn’t dare draw too close to her at this moment, because her
proximity might make me lose focus, and my tentacles would curl around
her so that I could absorb her scent and taste through my cups.
Even as I thought about how much I wanted to touch her with them,
they had already moved to surround her, curling by her feet, sometimes
brushing against the material that covered her legs as they writhed against
my directive that they avoid contact with her. They were a part of me, but
they had a certain amount of autonomy as well, allowing them to move out
of danger or capture passing prey before the rest of me became aware of it.
In this case, they were moving towards something my entire body wanted.
They just had less discipline than I did.
I tried to keep up the conversation to distract myself from admiring
Joanie’s fragile beauty so much that even my discipline faltered. It would be
far too easy to let it slip. I knew I would never hurt her physically, but I
couldn’t tell what would happen to her mind if I suddenly did as every part
of me wanted and fully embraced her.
When I’d held her in the facility, her taste, her smell, had been so
perfect to me. None of the treasures I’d ever plucked from the ocean’s
floors could come close to her ethereal beauty. But what had truly captured
me—and had made me certain that Thrax had made the right choice for my
mate—was the look of vulnerability in her eyes as they’d met mine. She
was on the brink of shattering, hanging on with one last glare of defiance.
No one had ever needed my protection more than she did.
Having Thrax demand my aide to rescue Claire had been interesting,
and I’d had far more fun than I should have as I’d helped him reach his
targets. The danger had seemed almost peripheral to me, despite the fact
that I had spent so many years avoiding it. The satisfaction of breaking into
the facility and crushing everything in my path made me wonder why I had
waited so long to do it.
I knew enough about my time before the change to remember that I
had been both predator and prey before Father brought me to his lab. In that
life, I had been risk-averse, hiding from threats rather than facing them
down, but curiosity had been my downfall. My desire to explore those
strange vessels that floated above me had drawn me to the surface to
discover the fleshy creatures inside, and see if they made tasty meals.
In the facility, under Father’s tutelage, I’d seen a different way.
What he’d believed was rapidly advancing intelligence was simply the fact
that I was putting my mind to use for something other than merely trying to
stay alive. He’d told me that they needed me, though he’d never specified
who “they” were, but he’d said that I could help them and protect them—
that I was designed to do exactly that.
Thrax had told me in our first meeting that I was designed for
killing. Perhaps that was the same thing that Father meant, though he had
never specifically said it.
I was still trying to work out my place in this new food chain. Given
the way people had been treating me, I had landed somewhere near the top.
My fragile mate, standing before me with a lost expression even now—
even after escaping from the torments they’d visited upon her—was far
down on that same food chain. She needed me to protect her. I found that I
liked being needed.
Joanie eyed my tentacles as they extended to form a barrier around
her before I could call them back. They’d picked up on my desire to protect,
and as always, they were highly responsive to the idea where she was
concerned.
“Um, Nemon,” her voice sounded hesitant as I withdrew them,
curling them against my body. She watched them retreat with a wary
expression and a slight frown. “What does it feel like?”
I feared that she would flee after that display. “What does what feel
like?”
She pointed to my tentacles. “What does having those feel like?”
She held up her hand, extending all five fingers, and then wiggling them.
“Is it the same as using your hands and fingers? Controlling the movements
like this?”
 I looked down at my two arms, which were nearly pointless for me,
but Father had said that they were aesthetically relevant, and I wanted
Joanie to find my form pleasing. I rarely used the hands on those arms for
anything, because they could not smell or taste. They could only discern
textures and temperature. My tentacles could do all of that, while still
possessing strength that was many orders of magnitude greater than my two
arms. “Control is not as certain,” I shot a glare at a tentacle that had
unfurled and was wandering back towards Joanie. “But my tentacles are far
more useful than hands.”
She surprised me by kneeling down to fix her gaze on the stray
tentacle that was trying to approach her without being too obvious. “The
tips aren’t that small.” She held up three fingers, turning her hand so that
her straightened fingers aligned with the tip of my tentacle, though she
didn’t reach out and touch it as it lay still in front of her, finally obeying my
command. The tip was as wide as her extended fingers. “How do you do
really fine manipulations?” She wiggled her fingers again. “Like typing on
a keyboard or something?” Her gaze broke away from my tentacle,
returning to my face. “Do you ever need to do small, fiddly things like
that?”
Father had let me play with toys that required fine manipulation to
help with my control. It had been a challenge to activate certain portions of
those toys, but I’d adapted to using my tentacles, despite his insistence that
I learn to use my arms and hands more often.
I showed Joanie the underside of my extended tentacle, revealing
the cups that marched along the bottom. They were small at the tip, each
one no wider than her fingertips. Twisting the side of my tentacle allowed
one cup at a time to press outwards. “This is how I do small manipulations.
The ‘fiddly’ things.”
She turned her head from one side to another to get a better look at
my suction cups, and cautiously, I extended the tentacle closer to her so that
she could see it better.
When she reached out to stroke her fingers over the cups, I nearly
lost control of the rest of my tentacles, which were quivering with eagerness
to embrace her.
That one brief caress was enough for me to smell her, taste her, and
feel her soft skin in one intense moment before she moved her hand away.
 “It’s softer than I thought.” Her hand hovered over the cups, not
touching anymore, but still close enough that I could sense the warmth of
her skin. “I thought the suckers would be firmer, but they just collapse
under the pressure of my fingers.”
I wanted to laugh at her observation, because it might release some
of the incredible tension I felt at that moment. She was studying me like a
scientist, and I was familiar with that, and didn’t mind her curiosity in the
least. She could poke and prod at my tentacles all day if she wished. I just
wasn’t sure I could control my desire to touch her back, and my interest was
far more than scientific. I firmed the extended cup, as I would have if I
wanted to create a seal against something, and then pulled in the center of
the cup. “I can control that as well. Sometimes, I don’t want to grab what I
touch, or I wish to release it. I soften and flatten my cups at that point to
release the seal.”
I was hoping she would touch me again, and she rewarded that
hope. This time, she only used the tip of her index finger to trace the lip of
my protruding cup. My entire body shivered as I drank in her essence
through that single, brief contact.
She pulled her hand away from my trembling tentacle, looking up at
me with wide eyes. “Did that hurt? I’m sorry.”
As she rose to her feet, moving away from my tentacle, it lifted with
her to curl around her wrist. I wasn’t sure if I had lost control of it in that
moment, or if it was just obeying a desire I wasn’t consciously admitting.
The sensory input from her skin was nearly my undoing. “It didn’t hurt,” I
said, though I struggled to draw in enough air to speak.
She froze, and I felt the fine quivering of her muscles beneath my
tentacle. I alternated hardening and softening the cups that pressed against
her skin, sucking it against them for less than a heartbeat as if I could drag
more sensory input from each tug on her. Instead, I realized how truly
fragile she was when she yelped in surprise and tried to pull her arm free.
My tentacle resisted for long enough for all three of my hearts to speed up
their beats, then it unfurled, returning back to curl up with the other
tentacles that were tight against my body.
She stared down at her arm, where a row of small red marks were
rapidly fading, almost like her skin could shift just like mine. She licked her
lips as she studied those marks. “That felt exactly like you were giving me a
hickey.” Her brief laugh sounded nervous. “On my arm. There are better
spots for those.”
Her words flowed over me without my understanding their meaning.
I was too horrified by what I had done. I’d hurt her. I knew that her skin
didn’t change colors like mine. It only changed when she was damaged. I’d
sworn not to harm her, but I’d done it anyway, out of foolish curiosity and
desire I had no right to feel. Joanie hadn’t accepted me as her mate. I should
not have been touching her at all.
She glanced up at me as I retreated into the bushes. “Hey, what’s
wrong? You’re changing colors like crazy.”
I was so distressed that I couldn’t even shift my skin effectively. “I
never meant to hurt you.” I pulled my body further into the bushes.
She held up a hand, palm out. “Hold up. Don’t you dare disappear
on me. What do you mean, you never meant to hurt me?”
I gestured to her arm with my own hand, not daring to release my
iron-hold on my tentacles enough to allow one to unfurl and point to the
redness on her skin. “I marked you. Your kind cannot change their skin
color unless you are wounded.”
She dropped her hand and covered the fading marks on her other
arm with it, rubbing it up and down her skin as if she could speed their
disappearance. “That didn’t hurt, Nemon.” She released another shaky
laugh. “On the contrary. It was a little strange to have the sucking
experience on my arm, but had you done that elsewhere….”
Now her face was turning red, though I had not touched her there at
all. I was confused. I didn’t think that her kind could change their skin
color, but there she was, doing it. My curiosity was enough to pause my
retreat, though the longer I remained near her, the more likely it was that I
would lose control again. It would be the best for us both if I just hid from
her. The temptation to touch her, hold her, was too great whenever I was
near her. “Your skin changes color on your face.” I wanted to touch that
skin, but restricted myself to touching my own face as if to draw a
comparison between us. My skin was currently several shades of green,
having finally settled into my camouflage, too late for it to matter.
She mirrored my move, sliding her fingers up over her cheekbone,
as the color on her cheeks darkened even more, nearly the shade of coral
now in a face that was normally as pale as a pearl. “It’s called a blush.
Believe me, I’m not doing it on purpose.” She lifted her hand away from
her cheek and fanned herself with it. “Is it hot in here to you?”
The temperature was warmer than I was accustomed to, but the air
hung heavy with moisture, which was pleasant, and cooled me enough to
make the heat acceptable. Still, if my mate was warm, I needed to take
action to make her feel more comfortable. “The water is much cooler.
Would you like to swim in my pool?”
Her eyes widened as her gaze met mine. She licked her lips, then
twisted her hands together as she glanced around the hold, before letting her
attention settle on the center pool. “You want me to swim? With you?” She
shivered, despite commenting about the warmth in the room.
It was clear that she didn’t like that idea. As much as I wanted to
slip into the water with her and curl all my limbs around her in a medium
that was much easier for me to move in, I wouldn’t force my company on
her. “I will remain outside the pool. I swear to you, I will not set so much as
the tip of a tentacle in the water while you take your ease.”
She hesitated for so long that I wondered if she would ever answer.
Finally, she nodded, fanning her face again, though it didn’t seem to be
doing much to take the red out of her cheeks. “Okay, I’ll swim. I could use
a dip, though I’d prefer a hot tub.” She cast me an unreadable glance before
stepping over to the pool. “It’s probably better if you don’t swim with me
this time.”
This time? Her words implied that there would be other times,
where she might allow me to be in the water with her. I wasn’t certain I had
the control to resist touching her if I did go into the water with her.
She sat at the edge of the pool and tugged her footwear off. I
watched in fascination as her feet were revealed, one by one. She had such
strange feet—flat, rigid, with little stubs on the end that didn’t look like
they had a purpose. It was strange to me that her species was completely
limited to only having two limbs with useful attachments. Still, like the rest
of her body, I found them fascinating, and would have loved to explore
them in detail. Perhaps, someday, she would allow it.
She pulled up the legs of her suit and dipped her feet into my pool.
Leaning back to rest on her palms, she sighed in a way that made my
tentacles twitch towards her. “Ah, that is nice and cool. Feels good, you
know. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to just sit back and relax.”
She let her head fall back so that she could stare at the ceiling with its false
images of sky. During our talk, the images had changed, so now an open
starlit night was projected. “I can’t believe I’m sitting by the pool, looking
at the stars. Now, all I need is a cabana boy with a tray of margaritas.”
Suddenly, for some unknown reason, she sat up and pinched the skin of one
of her arms with the fingers of the other hand.
I frowned as I watched the redness appear on her skin where she’d
deliberately harmed herself. My tentacles surged towards her, only stopped
when they were close enough to feel the warmth coming off of her body.
Close enough to stop her from hurting herself again. “Why would you do
that, Joanie?”
She blinked at the tentacles whipping around her, hemming her in.
“Do what?”
“You hurt yourself!” The tip of one tentacle stroked over the red
mark, the contact all too brief before I ordered it back.
She stared down at the mark in confusion for a moment, then
laughed. “Oh!” With a shake of her head, she smiled at me. “I was just
pinching myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream, because it’s a damned
good one.” She lifted a hand to gesture to our surroundings. “A lush,
tropical paradise, a beautiful night sky, a cool, refreshing pool to swim in,”
then she dropped her hand, and something in her gaze made my entire body
freeze, my tentacles stilling beside her. “A hot alien guy. Yeah, this
definitely was starting to feel too much like a dream for me to believe it was
real, so I pinched myself. I figured if I felt pain, I’d know it was real.”
I would ponder the meaning of her words later, when I was alone
with the luxury to take my mind off my wayward body parts. I had no idea
why my temperature mattered to her, but it wasn’t as warm as hers, so I
didn’t think I could be called hot.
I was more concerned at the moment with the fact that she
questioned her own perception of reality, because it spoke of the horrors she
had been through that such simple things as cool water and a pretty sky
could seem too unreal to be anything but imagination. “Please don’t hurt
yourself again. There are better ways to convince you this is real.”
“Oh yeah,” her eyelids lowered, and her voice grew husky, “I can
think of some better ways. A lot better.” Her red color, which had begun to
fade from her cheeks, suddenly returned, and Joanie turned her attention
back to the pool, muttering something that my translator didn’t pick up.
“Did you still wish to swim?” Perhaps if she was in the water, I
wouldn’t be so tempted by the heat of her body.
She nodded, but plucked at the fabric clinging to her gentle curves.
“I would like to swim, but this isn’t really a bathing suit. I’m afraid I’ll ruin
it.”
I shrugged, not understanding why she was wearing it at all, but
then again, her species seemed to prefer covering their bodies, just like
Father’s species. “Take it off to swim. The fabric will only create drag.”
Her head whipped around so that her startled gaze met mine. “Take
it—“ Her gaze trailed down my body, pausing for a moment on the lines of
my gills that were barely visible beneath my ribs, just above the beginning
of my webbing. “Of course, you don’t wear clothes, so probably don’t
understand why being naked makes humans feel… vulnerable.”
As always, any new information about her and her species made me
curious. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her, but
didn’t want to push her, because I had noticed that she visibly flinched
when certain topics came up, as if she dreaded them. “Humans are already
very vulnerable. A thin bit of fabric would not protect you.”
Her lips tilted in a small, rueful smile. “Yeah, thanks for pointing
that out. Did I mention that I had nightmares?”
My tentacles writhed in distress. Once again I had touched upon a
sensitive nerve for her without meaning to. “I will protect you now, Joanie.
Always. You don’t need clothes to make you feel safe.”
Her smile spread into a broad grin that revealed her straight, flat
teeth. “You’d prefer I didn’t wear them, then?”
I was intensely curious about the body that was hidden beneath her
clothes, but whether she chose to wear them or not made no difference to
me. She was beautiful either way. Especially when she smiled like that. “I’d
prefer that you are comfortable. Whatever helps you feel that way works for
me.”
 Chapter 11

JOANIE

The water was cool and soothing on my feet, but the rest of my body
was uncomfortably warm, which had very little to do with the temperature
of the hold. My arm still tingled where Nemon’s suction cups had tugged at
my skin like little mouths. As soon as I pictured them sucking on more
sensitive areas of my body, my core tightened, and the heat that started
between my legs spread through my body, leaving a noticeable blush. Now
I couldn’t get my mind off those tentacles, with their hundreds of little
suction cups, stroking over my body, sucking at my skin.
Before, I had thought myself attracted to him in spite of his
tentacles, marveling at his ripped upper body and refined facial features.
Now, I was more intrigued by those alien parts of him. The parts that
promised an experience beyond anything I could find on Earth.
I studied my feet, dangling in the water, pale like the bellies of two
fish. I was way out of my depth here, and I wasn’t certain what Nemon felt
about me. Protective—unquestionably—but that could simply be an aspect
of his nature, and not something to do with me individually. I’d never asked
him if he would feel as protective for the other women as he did for me,
because I didn’t want to hear him say yes. Not that my new friends didn’t
deserve someone to protect them—after all that they’d been through—but I
wanted Nemon’s feelings for me to be special.
The water would feel amazing against my naked body, but I wasn’t
entirely comfortable stripping down in front of Nemon. He didn’t seem to
think it was a big deal, and I wasn’t certain if that bothered me more than
worrying that he was just trying to get a free show. Clothing wasn’t just
optional for him. It didn’t seem like it was practical.
Coming to a decision, I lifted shaking hands to the seam that trailed
down the length of my jumpsuit from my neck to my groin. It attached
almost like Velcro, only without the bulkiness and loud shriek of the two
sides peeling apart as I separated them.
 My pounding heartbeat sped up even faster as I pulled off first one
short sleeve, then the other, unveiling my breasts, though I was still facing
the pool, and Nemon remained behind me—silent, waiting for my decision.
I could feel his eyes on me, and his tentacles were shifting nearby,
unpredictable. Exciting.
As more of my skin was exposed to the warm kiss of humid air, I
really looked at my body and the changes that had been wrought in the
months that I’d been imprisoned. I’d lost significant weight, my breasts
shrinking so much that they sagged lower than someone in their early
thirties should sag. I was embarrassed by the loose skin around my waist,
wondering how many dress sizes I had dropped on my diet of nutrition bars
and pain. A lifetime of yoyo dieting had left my skin with stretchmarks that
seemed to almost glow in the fake starlight.
At least there were no track marks remaining on my arms and legs.
Whatever healing methods the Iriduans had used had cleared those up, but it
didn’t erase the memory of the hundreds of needles that had pierced my
flesh during their experiments.
My body was not beautiful—my skin scarred and loose. As soon as
the jumpsuit lay bagged at my waist—waiting for me to stand up and peel it
off my legs—I felt a sense of panic that Nemon would be able to see too
much of it. That he would be disgusted at the sight of it. I paused, torn
between wanting to rip off the remaining fabric in order to jump in the pool
to hide from his sight, or pull the top of it back up to conceal myself,
perhaps prompting a question from him about why I’d changed my mind—
a question I was too ashamed to answer.
I was so wrapped up in indecision that I jumped when one of his
tentacles brushed against my bared ribcage. It was the slightest touch, and
the tentacle was quickly withdrawn, but it made me glance over my
shoulder at him.
His gaze was fixed on my naked back, the lines of his austere, elven
face hard and drawn, as if he struggled in some inner battle. When his eyes
lifted to meet mine, he released a sharp breath. “You are so beautiful,
Joanie.”
His tone sounded like he meant it, but he hadn’t seen the worst of it.
My back was probably relatively unscathed. I wanted to return to the curves
I had spent most of my life fighting against so that at least I would feel
normal. I shook my head, breaking eye contact to look down at my feet
kicking back and forth in the water. At some point, I had to make a
decision. Leap off into the deep end, or get out of the pool.
It took a moment longer to work up the courage to rise to my feet so
that I could peel the jumpsuit off my legs. As soon as I bent to pull each
pant leg off my feet, I heard Nemon make an audible gasp. I jerked around
at the sound, only to discover that he wasn’t there anymore.
The leaves in the trees and bushes off to my right had been disturbed
by his rapid retreat, and they were still shuddering from his passage.
Tears built in my eyes as I began to pull my jumpsuit back over my
feet, humiliation and embarrassment sitting like a crushing weight in my
chest. I’d literally scared an alien away with the sight of my hideous naked
body. I no longer wanted to swim. I only wanted to get dressed and escape
this place with the tiny shred of defiant dignity that remained intact.
I dressed so quickly that the seam of my jumpsuit was uneven when
I’d finished, but I didn’t care. I pulled my boots on just as quickly,
stumbling as I struggled into them. I felt like a colossal fool. Clumsy,
stupid, ugly….
I froze after setting my second foot down, covered in the
comfortable boot I’d been provided. I knew that voice. That terrible voice
inside my head. It was the enemy that had stolen every precious
accomplishment of my life, the inner voice that took every mean thing ever
said to me and turned it into a song of self-hatred. I’d allowed it to plague
me with doubt. Its refrain had played over and over again after my
miscarriages. Then again after the failure of my marriage, when my
husband hadn’t even bothered to look back as he signed the divorce papers
and moved on with his life, leaving mine in a shambles. It was the voice
that convinced me that something was inherently wrong with me that made
me worthless. Hadn’t that been proven when my grandparents had wanted
my mother to “get rid” of me? Even the aliens that had abducted me had
rejected me for their breeding program because I had no worth to them.
I’d tried to bury that voice by pursuing an elusive jackpot in the
casinos. I’d thought if I could just win big, I would have enough money to
buy a mansion for myself and my mom. I could finally make up for all the
sacrifices she’d made for me, and prove my value to everyone who had ever
doubted me. Instead, I’d only proved again how worthless I was, trapped in
a spiral of addiction and self-loathing. After traveling across the entire
galaxy and becoming an alien test subject, I was still no different.
I was on a damned space ship, hurtling through an ocean of stars at
beyond light speed, powered by an alien race advanced enough to create
these miracles around me, and I was still beating myself up for the failures
of my life, instead of paying attention to my possible future.
So what if Nemon found my body disgusting? Sure, it hurt, but to be
fair, my body was so much different from his. Had I not reacted with horror
to him when I’d first seen him? I’d found his appearance so monstrous, I’d
been certain he was going to kill me. It hadn’t even occurred to me at the
time that my reaction to him might have wounded him, just as I now felt
wounded.
Yet, I had very quickly gotten over my fear. Once I realized that he
was not the monster I’d believed him to be, I found him intriguing—even
compelling. Wouldn’t it be possible to convince him that I could be the
same? I supposed I would have to murder that inner demon of mine and
convince myself of that first.
I had a lot to think about, and my cheeks still burned with my
humiliation, but I wasn’t ready to give up entirely. Although, I figured now
was the time for a strategic retreat while I recovered a bit of my self-
confidence. Besides, I had no idea where Nemon was hiding, and I wasn’t
sure I could find him if he wasn’t ready to be found.
I left the wet-hold, tense as I took each step that brought me closer
to the exit, both anticipating and afraid that he would appear before me, or
come up behind me to stop my escape. I wasn’t certain what I would say to
him if he did that, since his reaction had left my emotions so raw.
He didn’t stop me from leaving, nor did I see any sign of him.
Wherever he’d retreated to—all fifteen or so feet of him—he hid so well
that I couldn’t detect him. The fact that someone as big as he was could
conceal themselves like that was pretty terrifying, and it was little wonder
he left even aliens like Thrax feeling cautious.
I made it to the elevator before breaking down in tears, grateful
when the door slid closed, shutting out the sight of the corridor beyond so
that I could sag against the wall and let the sobs come without fear of being
overheard.
 Only a few escaped before I was back on the deck that held my
cabin, and I choked back the rest, chiding myself to pull it together before I
ran into someone else. I certainly didn’t want to explain what had happened.
I paused just outside my door, debating the tiny cabin beyond and
whether I could stand to be cooped up inside there with nothing but my
thoughts and that nasty inner demon to taunt me. Instead of pressing my
hand against the access panel next to it to unlock it, I turned and made my
way to the recreation room.
To my relief, there was no one inside. Most people on this deck
were probably still sleeping. Like humans, the Akrellians were diurnal, but
they used rotating shifts, shutting down the lighting on different residential
decks to approximate daytime and nighttime for their crew and passengers.
Our deck was still darkened for nighttime. As far as I knew, we were the
only passengers in this area, since the Star Dancer had been running a
skeleton crew with no passenger load when they were diverted into Iriduan
territory to seek their warriors.
The Star Dancer was a warship, but Akrellians couldn’t bear to live
without their beauty and comfort, so had decked it out as fancy as any
cruise liner, even though the majority of their passengers were usually
warriors heading off to battle in some galactic conflict or another.
According to Theresa, the prime commander had been distressed when told
that human war vessels were completely austere and utilitarian. He’d
expressed that warriors heading off to a possible—and often likely—death
deserved to enjoy the luxuries that could be found on the Star Dancer in
their last precious moments of life.
Thanks to their appreciation for the finer things in life, every
passenger deck was outfitted with a full recreation room, complete with
access to the GalactaNet, plenty of stored holographic programs, plush
furniture, lush greenery, and artistic flair in all the fittings and surrounding
statuary.
Me and the girls had already explored the hologram offerings and
discovered that the Akrellians loved theater almost as much as dancing and
music. There was plenty to occupy our time if we needed it, but we’d spent
most of our previous visit in the rec room talking to each other.
Now that I had the place to myself, I flipped through the holograms,
using my fingers swiping across the lighted console that sat next to the
longest piece of furniture—a sofa with a strong geometrical design that still
managed to be surprisingly comfortable.
Nothing truly caught my eye as something that could serve as a
distraction from my roiling thoughts, so I settled for a dance video. The
lights dimmed as the holographic image projector lit up, and the end result
was a three-dimensional projection that I could watch from all sides that
looked for all the world like living, breathing dancers, swaying and gyrating
on a stage in front of me.
I realized I’d made a mistake as soon as the beautiful, slender
dancers appeared. Watching the half-naked male Akrellians stomp their feet
and rattle their quills had been entertaining in an eye-candy sort of way.
They had incredible physiques. The females who had then danced onto the
stage—merging their line with the much larger males—made me recall how
not-beautiful my own body was to Nemon, which simply brought back the
embarrassment instead of giving me something to distract me from it.
I was swiping through the videos, looking for something different,
when Theresa came into the rec room, her mouth wide on a yawn.
She saw the video that I was debating watching, and made an
oohing sound as she rushed to join me on the couch. “He’s hot,” she said,
pointing to the Akrellian actor who appeared on the thumbnail for the
holographic play.
I nodded my agreement, before I realized what I was doing. “It’s
crazy, isn’t it? That we think he’s hot?”
She shrugged her shoulders, activating another console that allowed
her to use the food replicator, which dispensed alien munchies we’d
discovered were surprisingly good, especially since they were made from a
nutrient base that was apparently tasteless. “Eh, I think I’m over the whole
‘OMG, he’s an alien, what’s wrong with you,’ phase. You talk to these guys
enough and you realize they’re a lot like humans in some ways.” She
pointed to her temple. “You know, the important ways.”
I gestured to the recreational room. “They think a little different than
us.”
Theresa shook her head. “I don’t believe so. They love art and music
just like humans do. They’re just more honest about its importance in their
lives.”
 I studied her thoughtfully, grateful for the distraction from my own
problems. “You thinking of finding an alien mate like Claire did?”
She snorted. “Not like Claire did! No thanks.” She glanced over her
shoulder at the door, making sure that there was no surprise “oh, she’s
behind me, isn’t she” moments before speaking again in a lower voice. “I
think I’d need longer to get accustomed to that. The Akrellians….” She
waved to the holographic projector. “They’re civilized. I can understand
them. Thrax is… more primal. He scares me too much. Claire is way braver
than I am.”
Thrax was definitely more primal, practically growling at anyone
who approached, if they weren’t Claire. Nemon was also primal, though not
quite as anti-social. Neither of them had come from civilizations like the
Akrellians or humans. They’d been entirely focused on survival, and had
never had time for art, music, and theatrics. Perhaps, as humans, we could
no longer relate, but Claire had certainly found a way to bridge the gap. As
for me, I wanted to. I just didn’t think Nemon did, after how he’d reacted.
 Chapter 12

NEMON

I stared down at the tentacle growing in a place that had been merely
a scar for so long I had feared it would never return. My genital tentacle had
suddenly and violently burst from my webbing when I saw the slit between
Joanie’s legs as she bent over to remove her clothing. The pain had been
inconsequential compared to the shock of my desperate need to curl all my
tentacles around her and pull her closer to me, entangling her so that my
rapidly growing new tentacle could seek her opening, and press into her
heat as it wanted to. As I wanted it to.
I’d sworn that I would wait for Joanie’s acceptance. Not just to
myself, but also to Thrax and Claire. If I screwed this up, Thrax would
probably kill me, and I would deserve it.
I wouldn’t push her, or rush her, but I couldn’t control my reaction
enough to remain near her. My entire body had rebelled against a mind
urging caution, and escaping the temptation had remained my only option. I
hadn’t even been able to watch her leave the hold, because it would have
been too easy to follow her and capture her in my tentacles, then pull her
back to me.
Father had promised my tentacle would return when I was ready to
breed, and it seemed that time had come. The ache of it stretching and
lengthening so rapidly caused my mantle to tense up and my other tentacles
to writhe in pain. My stomach growled with hunger, and I felt my strength
waning as my energy was sapped to regenerate that part of my body.
Once I was certain Joanie had left the hold, no longer hearing the
sounds of her presence or sensing the vibrations of her movement, I
ventured to the feeding cart the Akrellians had provided for me. I looked at
the delicacies upon it, which I had ignored earlier in favor of sleep. They
were all laid out on small plates, in aesthetically pleasing designs, but at
least there were many of them. Plenty of food. I touched my mouth—so
small and inefficient for the task at hand. I needed to eat. A lot. As soon as
possible.
 It had been a while since I’d shifted my bone lattice, allowing it to
break apart to free my mantle so that I could wrap my true mouth around
the entire cart. It would take some time to reorganize the lattice that now
floated in pieces inside my amorphous mantle, but I had little choice. My
tentacles shoveled the food into my gaping maw, and I didn’t bother to take
the time to chew it, swallowing each tiny morsel whole.
I was lying upon the remains of the cart, barely sated, when I sensed
the presence of a visitor to the hold. I adjusted my mantle, opening my eyes
to see if a crew member was bringing more food. Instead, I saw Thrax
approaching. My sigh was a gurgle in this form, my lips too misshapen to
effectively make the sound.
Thrax stopped just beyond the reach of my tentacles, eyeing me with
unreadable body language. Except for his pincers, which opened and closed
slowly, as if uncertain whether he wanted to convey a threat or not. “This is
a different look.”
I tried to shrug, fond of that gesture, taught to me by Father many
years before. It communicated so much, without saying a word.
Unfortunately, I had no shoulders, so my mantle just ended up quivering.
“Was hungry. Small mouth too slow.” It was difficult to form words that
could be understood at the moment. Of my usual facial features, I’d left
only my ear intact, because the translator still clung to it.
He studied me for a long moment in silence. “So, you can do this.
Interesting. I suspected you could change your form.”
He had no idea how much. With the proper practice and enough time,
I could shape my mantle into almost anything, but I preferred to wear
Father’s face and upper body, since it reminded me of our connection, and
the kinship he had shared with me. “Bone lattice. Father made so I could
better mimic.” The lattice was not organic, and floated inside my body in
pieces when it was broken apart, allowing me to fit my mantle into small
and cramped spaces. It took some time to restructure, since there was a
slight lag before the pieces responded to impulses from my distributed
brains and nervous system. Ordering the lattice to break apart was much
faster, returning me to a form that was closer to my original form.
Thrax’s pincers settled on remaining open. “Useful for you. Perhaps
this makes you even more dangerous.”
 I blew out a breath that whistled through the loose flesh that was all
that remained of my upper mouth. “This form slow in air. Too slow.
Unwieldy.” I could drag myself back into the water, where I could move
smoothly and easily, but I felt lazy as I digested. Besides, if Thrax wanted
to kill me, he would. Or at least, he’d try before I got my tentacles around
him and crushed him. It was still a debate about which one of us would win.
He had his venom, but I had my own, if it came to that. I chose not to use it
because I rarely needed it. He was faster though. I had to concede that
much. One of his stings might kill me, before I could bind his stingers with
my tentacles.
He pondered my vulnerability, and perhaps his own, before taking a
few steps closer to me. Close enough that I could wrap a tentacle around
him if I felt like testing him. Then he crouched, his wings spreading behind
him, flicking out to capture the rising sunlight projected on the ceiling,
causing rainbows to spark off the surrounding bushes. “You are a
formidable threat. Claire is right. You can be a useful ally.”
“Proved that already. Got mate in return.”
“And what about your future, Nemon? Where will you go from
here?”
I hadn’t dared to contemplate my future beyond winning my mate’s
acceptance. I supposed that after that, I would follow her wherever she
wanted to go, just like Thrax would remain with Claire. How else could I
protect her? “Mate.” I suspected that was enough of an answer for him.
He nodded slowly. “She came to visit you. Has she accepted you?”
“Working on that.” The sudden regeneration of my genital tentacle
had complicated matters, just when she was learning to trust me enough to
make herself feel vulnerable around me. I wanted her trust, but losing
control over my body would certainly destroy my chance to earn it.
He was silent for another long moment. “The Akrellians are taking us
to a space station. I do not know what this is. They have said that after that,
we must make a decision about where we wish to spend our future.”
Space station? I’d seen one of those in a hologram Father had allowed
me to watch. It had floated amongst the stars, housing many different
aliens, and allowing their star boats to come and go as they stuck to it and
offloaded passengers and supplies. I’d been fascinated with the sight, and
had replayed the images of it over and over until my clumsiness broke the
holographic projector. Father had been disturbed that I had managed to fix it
by myself. He’d said I was learning far faster than they’d expected. He’d
wanted me to hide that from the machines. I’d done as he’d asked, careful
not to appear too curious, not to explore too much, though sometimes my
curiosity had gotten the better of my intentions, and my tentacles had
delved into places where they were not supposed to go.
I’d never been able to get the hologram of the space station to work
again, though, even though the projector itself was fixed. It was as if the
image had simply disappeared from the little machine, and Father had
refused to give me another one, or any other machine toys to play with after
that.
Now I would get to see the space station in person, and my mantle
quivered with my excitement. “Space station.”
He tilted his head, his eyes never leaving mine, though my tentacles
started writhing close enough to him to touch. I didn’t have the urge to
touch him though, unlike I did with Joanie. It was easy to keep my tentacles
to myself. “I don’t think the Akrellians want to trust you on the station.”
Disappointment stilled my tentacles. The Akrellians had been
cautious around me, fearful of me, though I’d been careful not to give them
reason to be, yet they seemed to trust Thrax. I would argue with their
wisdom in that, but they weren’t giving me many opportunities for an
interview. If I wanted to, I supposed I could request one with the prime
commander, using my translator to contact him, but I’d been more focused
on gaining Joanie’s acceptance of me as her mate than I had in making
friends with the rare crew members who entered this hold to bring me food.
“Won’t break things. People.”
“We arrive at the station in two weeks. Perhaps you can convince
them of that in that time. I recommend you start by not making your mate
leak salt when she leaves this hold.”
“Leak salt?”
His wings twitched. “My combs detected salt from what Claire calls
‘tears’ on the floor of the elevator when I came down here. You made your
mate cry.” He gestured to my mantle with a lower hand. “Perhaps showing
her this scared her. Some females scare easily.” He shook his head at that.
“Not Claire, though.” His tone was filled with more emotion than it
normally contained.
 I was too upset by his words to pay much attention to the wealth of
meaning in his tone. “Made her cry?” It was not because of this body. She
hadn’t seen this. It could only have been because I’d scared her before she
left. Perhaps she had seen how close I had been to losing control. Since her
back had been turned, I’d thought she had missed the twisting and curling
of my tentacles as they fought my will in an effort to wrap around her and
pull her to me. I hadn’t retreated fast enough, though I’d moved faster than
I’d ever moved before. Somehow, she’d known that I was so close to
grabbing her that she’d been frightened when she’d fled the hold.
Now, my tentacles were slapping the paved walkway in distress,
coming dangerously close to Thrax’s feet. He took a couple of steps away
from them, his pincers spreading open. “Pull yourself together and go to
your mate. Fix this, Nemon. Or you will lose her.”
My tentacles stilled as I tried to lift my bulbous mantle, knowing it
would take several hours before the lattice would completely reform the
skeleton of my upper body in a way that would not scare Joanie even more.
“Can’t lose her.”
Thrax’s defensive posture relaxed, as if he’d finally decided I meant
him no threat. “The other females wish to return to Earth, but your mate has
not made her wishes known to the prime commander yet. If she goes back
to her homeworld, Claire has assured me that you cannot follow. You must
make her decide to stay with you, or you will lose her forever.”
I needed to fix things with Joanie before she made the decision to
retreat to a world that would be beyond my reach, but I also feared that
seeing her again so soon after the regeneration of my genital tentacle would
be too tempting for me. All these years of training myself to have precise,
minute control over every part of my body had seemed completely wasted
when Joanie had unwittingly shown me her glistening opening.
I’d known immediately what it was after Father had carefully
explained how a female Iriduan would breed, though Joanie’s species was
not exactly like Father’s. Their intimate parts were in the same place,
though, and looked very similar. I’d had no interest in mating with the
Iriduan females that I’d been shown in the holographic images. Their slits
had done nothing to excite me or regenerate my mating tentacle. I hadn’t
understood why Father had even bothered to show those images to me at
the time, but my discussion with Claire and Thrax earlier—as well as
Thrax’s words when I’d first captured him—had quickly explained what
had always been a mystery. At some point, Father would have given me
females to choose from for my mate, so that I could create more creatures
like myself to serve the Iriduans. That had been why he’d been so upset that
my genital tentacle had been mistakenly removed along with the other
tentacles that had quickly regenerated.
Father could not have given me a better mate than the one that
Thrax had given me. Not even if he’d searched the entire ocean of stars to
find her. I wondered if he’d known that when he’d set me free.
Now I had to repair what I’d broken, because I’d frightened Joanie
away, and I had no other choice but to go to her and to do so. The worst part
was that I knew she was in cramped quarters, which meant in order to fit
any part of me inside them, I would have to be very close to her. Close
enough that even my inferior nose could smell her with each breath of air I
drew in.
I couldn’t see her like this, though. I had to work on changing back,
and quickly, because too much time had already passed since Joanie had left
the hold. “Will fix this,” I said, even as I activated the impulses that would
restructure the lattice inside me to rebuild my jaw and mouth.
Thrax turned to leave, showing me his back in a demonstration of
either trust or disdain. I chose to take it as growing trust. He might have felt
disdainful, but he wasn’t stupid. “Good. I don’t want to disappoint Claire.
For some reason, she wants you to win your mate. She says she has already
‘shipped’ you and Joanie. Whatever that means.”
Thrax wasn’t much for parting words. After his cryptic statement
about Claire’s plans for me and Joanie, which made no more sense to me
than it apparently did to him, he left the hold. By this time, I could feel the
lattice tingling inside me, pulling together to build my skeleton. My internal
organs would be equally restructured into a different arrangement, which
was painful, though I had grown accustomed to it. While I waited for the
pain to end, I stiffened my skin, changing it as well to return it to the form
I’d had when Joanie had seen me.

*****
 My motivation to see her again and fix my mistake had sped up the
process. I had feared it would take several hours, but it took less than one, if
the changing of the sky hologram was anything to go by. I moved quickly
towards the exit of the hold, anxiety over losing Joanie speeding my
passage until my tentacles whipped around me as my cups caught, pulled,
and released the ground beneath me.
The large, sliding door of the hold did not open upon my approach,
but I had seen the crew use the small panel next to it in order to open the
door by pressing their palms against it. I tried to do the same, but there was
no response from the panel.
I debated whether I could tear down the door once I realized that I
was locked behind it, then decided to try contacting the commander of the
ship before I started ripping it apart.
The translator clinging to my ear was a device I had already
explored thoroughly with my tentacles, though I’d avoided the urge to
dismantle it to see how it worked, because I didn’t want to jeopardize my
ability to speak with Joanie for however long it would take to figure out
how to put it back together or request a new one.
It served as a translator for the languages that had been loaded into
it, as well as a communications device to other members of the crew. I
suspected that it also tracked us for the commander of the ship, so that he
was always aware of where we were. He might have chosen to trust us, but
that trust only went so far. Especially when it came to me.
Pressing the small button on the translator opened a link to the crew
liaison who’d been assigned to us. My liaison appeared to be the
commander himself, because as soon as I activated my link, he was the one
who answered.
“Master Nemon, is there something I can do for you?”
His tone was cautious, as if he wasn’t certain what to expect. Given
that this was the first time I’d tried to contact any of the crew, he perhaps
had a reason for concern. I hesitated, trying to find the words to voice my
request.
“Would you prefer more food? Perhaps what was provided was not
sufficient.”
My tentacles curled inwards as I glanced up at the ceilings in the
hold. I’d been under observation so much in Father’s lab that I’d begun to
ignore the cameras, though I had always been careful, as Father had warned
me not to reveal too much intelligence to the observers. I realized that I’d
been too accustomed to hiding in the warrens to remember that there were
always hidden machine eyes watching. I stripped the anger out of my voice,
knowing that it would not serve me well in my current position. “I would
prefer to leave this hold to visit my mate.”
There was a long pause. “If you are speaking of the human female
named Joanie, she is on a deck with space limitations.”
“I’m aware of that.” I glared up at the ceiling. “By now, you should
be aware that space is rarely a limitation for me.”
“You would not be able to fit all of yourself into her cabin.”
“Then we will meet in the corridor. I wish to see my mate,
Commander.” I didn’t say it aloud, but the fact that I would make trouble
for him if he continued to keep me locked up was heavily implied in my
tone.
“Is this female truly your mate? As Thrax and Claire have mated?”
I didn’t like his skeptical tone. “She is my mate, but I have yet to be
accepted as hers. I’m working on that, which is why I need to see her.”
He muttered into the communications link. “Damned Iriduan mating
habits. I pity you. Your creators should have removed the mate imprint from
your genetic code.”
I pushed my hand against the panel. “I’m waiting, Commander.”
I heard a short sigh, before the panel beneath my palm lit up,
scanning it. The door slid open beside me. “Very well, I will warn the deck
crew that you are coming. Restrict your activities to the corridor and
recreational room, please.”
I was pleased that things had gone better than I’d expected. As I left
the hold, pulling myself down the corridor to the cramped elevator, I
pondered his words about imprinting.
I knew what it was, because Father had mentioned it on more than
one occasion.
His descriptions had made having a mate seem like an affliction.
What little I remember of my time before the change had told me that the
females my kind called “life-weavers” were dangerous, but only because
they had a tendency to try and eat me after I gave them my seed threads. I
recalled that being quick to move had been vitally important in living long
enough to share more of my threads with other life-weavers.
The concept of a single mate for life had been a new one for me—to
go with my new form—but one that I had wholeheartedly embraced, even
before I first held Joanie. After years of loneliness in the warrens, I couldn’t
imagine anything better than someone who had committed to share their life
with me—someone to follow and protect, to embrace and hold. To explore
until I learned every inch of her body as well as I knew my own.
If that meant I had to suffer from the “affliction” Father had feared
so much, then I was willing to do so. If my devotion to Joanie was what
happened when an Iriduan found a mate, I couldn’t understand why Father
had been so adamant that it be avoided. Even the thought of Joanie was
enough to make me happy. How could he have not wanted that?
 Chapter 13

JOANIE

I paced my room, debating my next move. I’d been rejected and

humiliated, but I couldn’t get Nemon out of my head. I didn’t know if I
could face him again after what had happened, but I didn’t think I could
avoid seeing him, either. I wanted to go down to that hold and see him
again.
My mother had always told me that I didn’t know how to give up.
She’d said it with pride, after I’d made it back on my feet through one of
life’s blows after another. I was always getting back on my feet, but that
was only because I was always falling to the damned ground. There was
nothing to be proud of in that.
Still, I’d never been very good at knowing when to fold my cards
and leave the table. Usually it wasn’t until after I’d lost everything that I
found a healthy dose of common sense. So it wasn’t surprising that once
again, I was thinking about taking a risk. I didn’t know if I could handle
another humiliating rejection from Nemon, but it was possible that there
had simply been a miscommunication, and I’d read it in the worst possible
way. Perhaps he’d suddenly had to go to the bathroom or something. I’d
been there myself on more than one occasion in life.
Almost convincing myself of the misunderstanding argument, I left
my cabin, my steps firm with my new determination. I was going to march
down to that hold and ask Nemon what had happened. And if he told me I
was repulsive to him? Then sure, a little part of me might die inside as that
demon voice in my head found a new refrain, but I would endure. I laughed
bitterly at myself. I was too damned stubborn to do anything else.
I stood in front of the elevator, my hand hovering over the biometric
panel, when it lit up before I made contact with it. Realizing there was
someone else in the elevator, I took a few steps back to make way for them
to pass.
When the doors slid open, all I saw was a tight wall of tentacles,
from the floor of the elevator to the ceiling. I took a few more steps back,
my heart pounding as they spilled out of the elevator. I couldn’t believe they
had all managed to fit inside that space.
And then I saw Nemon’s upper body, revealed as his tentacles
sought purchase outside the elevator, extending close to me, pausing as they
curled near my boots.
Because of the way he’d been crammed into the space, he looked
like he was sitting in a nest of tentacles. It was bizarre, otherworldly, and
made only more so by the elvish elegance of his face. His arms were
crossed over his naked chest, but they unfolded as soon as he had room to
move. His eyes had gone immediately to mine, and I couldn’t think of what
to say in that moment.
A tentacle curled around my ankle, sliding up my leg until the tip
tickled my knee. The grip of it was so light that I barely felt it through my
jumpsuit, but I could feel it enough to notice the second one that wrapped
around my thigh, then the other two that captured my free leg.
If he had found me repulsive enough to flee the very sight of my
naked body, then he seemed to have recovered from it. The tentacle on my
thigh was sliding further upwards, while his gaze remained fixed on me, as
if he watched for some signal from me that he needed to stop.
My throat went dry as the tip of his tentacle slid over the fabric
covering my mound, then traced my slit as if he recalled its position even
though it was now concealed. My folds had grown damp the moment his
tentacle had curled around my ankle, and now they were wet enough that he
could probably feel it through his cups. I gasped as his tentacle rubbed a
little harder between my legs. His other tentacles quivered, jerking towards
me, and then curling away at the last moment, as if they wanted to touch
me, but didn’t dare.
I closed my eyes, shivering from the exploratory brush of his
tentacle. Suddenly, he pulled away, and I clenched my fists. Not again!
“Hey, Nemon.” Claire’s voice shook me as my eyes popped open. “I
can’t believe you fit inside that thing!”
She was coming up the corridor behind me, which meant he had
seen her before I did and had withdrawn his tentacles, which was probably
a good thing, since I was damned close to having an orgasm from over-the-
clothes stimulation right there in the middle of the passenger deck.
 I glanced over my shoulder at Claire, and she winked at me when
she met my eyes, then she turned her gaze back to Nemon. “So, if you can
fit inside an elevator, the recreation room up here should be no problem.
You guys should check it out.” She paused next to me, leaning over to
whisper, “that room has a door, with a lock. If you’re interested.”
My cheeks burned as I stole a peek at Nemon. He’d removed
himself from the elevator with surprising speed given how much he’d been
cramped inside it, and now his tentacles either spread along the floors of the
corridor, or extended upwards around him, curling at the tips.
Claire skirted Nemon’s stray tentacles as she took the last steps to
the elevator. “I’m going to join Thrax. He’s talking to the commander about
our upcoming visit to Ubaid Space Station.” She clasped her hands together.
“I’m so excited!” Then her expression grew serious, and a haunted look
filled her eyes. I knew that look. I’d seen it enough in my own mirror. “Not
that it’s going to be any fun meeting the Syndicate and telling our stories.”
Nemon frowned. “I’ve been told that I will not be allowed to join
you on the station.”
I forgot my embarrassment and unfulfilled state of arousal in
surprise. “What? Why?”
Claire shook her head. “The commander said it was better to keep
Nemon on the ship while we were on the station. It’s going to be mobbed
by aliens, and the sight of us is going to cause some havoc. Bringing
Nemon….” She cast him a sidelong glance. “No offense, but you kind of
stand out.”
He lifted his chin. “Not if I don’t want to.” Suddenly, he
disappeared. If I hadn’t been staring straight at him, I would not have
noticed he was there until I walked right into him, his coloration and even
the texture of his skin completely matched the corridor around us, even
mimicking the light reflection on the shiny elevator door. I could only tell
that it was him by the faintest outline that would have been unnoticeable if I
wasn’t looking for it.
Claire whistled. “That’s… something else! Very cool. Terrifying, but
cool.”
Nemon’s skin shifted back to the color and texture he used when he
was near me, which closely mimicked my own.
 Claire reached for the elevator panel as Nemon shifted his bulk out
of the way to make room for her, which brought his upper body closer to
me. His tentacles hadn’t moved more than a few centimeters from my feet.
She pressed the panel and let it scan her palm. “I have to meet Thrax
soon, or he’ll be up here looking for me, ready to kill whatever has delayed
me.” She shook her head with a small chuckle. “But someday, when I have
a little more time, you’ve got to tell me how you can do that, Nemon.” She
threw me another searching glance. “You all good, Joanie?”
I understood what she was asking—the unspoken question. Was I
afraid of him and did I need someone to help me extricate myself from his
company? The answer to both was a resounding no. I didn’t want to be
extricated, though I probably should run like hell from Nemon. I nodded,
then added a verbal response, just so she understood that I was comfortable
right where I was at. “We’re going to check out the rec room. I want to test
that lock.” I winked.
She laughed as she stepped into the elevator. “You’d better watch
out for this girl, Nemon. She’s going to have you wrapped around her
finger.” She eyed his tentacles. “And other parts.” The door slid closed on
her grinning face, leaving me alone with Nemon.
He lifted the tip of the tentacle nearest to me, eyeing it speculatively.
“Did you want me to wrap around your finger? I’m not certain that it can fit
around only one of them without discomfort for you.”
I held out my hand, as butterflies danced in a mosh pit in my gut.
“How about you wrap around my hand, and I’ll lead you to the rec room?”
His tentacle curled around my hand, squeezing gently. I felt the
suction cups kissing my palm. His flesh was cooler than mine, but not cold
or fishlike. I still shivered at the feel of that strong tentacle holding on to
me.
Nemon’s other tentacles writhed around him, stretching and curling
in a frantic dance, before finally settling after several long moments of
silence while he held my hand.
“You said you would lead me somewhere, Joanie?” His voice
sounded strained.
I nodded, turning to head back down the corridor towards the rec
room. I heard his tentacles sliding across the smooth floor with the
occasional slight popping sound, but there was no resistance on the tentacle
that I still held, as if he had no problem keeping up with my pace. I
marveled at his mobility on land. Tentacles seemed like an unwieldy way to
move, but he’d apparently adapted very well to it.
The corridor seemed tight with all his tentacles moving around, but
he managed to pass through it without discernible effort. That was another
thing that caused me to marvel. His size suggested that he shouldn’t be able
to fit anywhere but a wide open space, yet he appeared to be able to cram
into much tighter areas. I wondered if it was uncomfortable for him to be in
small spaces, as it had become for me, or if he felt that it was cozy and
more secure to be nestled into a tight space, perhaps out of reach of other
predators.
Fortunately, the rec room was significantly larger than my cabin,
and like Claire had mentioned, it did have a lock I could set, which would
tell anyone else who tried to enter that the room was occupied for a private
gathering. Why the rec room had that lock might be due to the holographic
videos me and Theresa had come across, which showed that the Akrellians
had some interesting mating habits. We’d both felt awkward watching what
amounted to alien porn together, so we’d quickly ended the hologram, but it
had been eye-opening. Theresa had left the room with a strange expression
on her face, and I wondered what she was going to do about her curiosity,
but I figured it was best not to pry. I had my own curiosity, and my alien
was a bit more… alien.
And now he was here with me, alone, in a private room that his
tentacles seemed to dwarf as they draped over the sofas and chairs and the
lounge in the corner that had taken on a whole new meaning after what me
and Theresa had seen.
I didn’t know what to do at this point, though I could feel my body
heating again the longer we sat there in silence, watching each other with a
wariness that had faded as we’d spoken to each other, but had now returned
after our previous meeting. “Why did you disappear last night?”
He avoided my eyes, studying the room around him as if the secrets
of the universe were written on the walls. “Something happened.”
“Yeah, I know something happened. You ran away. That’s what
happened.” I tried to cull the hurt from my tone, but I could still hear it
coming through.
 Tentacles jerked towards me, before freezing in midair, then curling
back towards his body. “I scared you. You cried.”
“Scared me?” I shook my head sharply. “No. You embarrassed me!
You fled the moment you got a good look at my naked body. Like it
repulsed you.”
He exhaled a hard breath. “Repulsed?” His wide eyes finally met
mine. “Is that what you thought?” Suddenly, his tentacles flowed towards
me, wrapping around my waist, my ankles, my wrists, entangling me—not
squeezing, but coiling tight enough that I couldn’t escape. I wasn’t even
certain I wanted to as he tugged me slowly towards his upper body. “I must
fight every second for control of my body when I am with you, Joanie. I
want nothing more than to touch you, taste you, and feel your skin against
my cups. When I saw you naked, the urge to take you in my tentacles was
so strong that I could no longer fight it. I ran away to avoid frightening
you.”
My heart thumped against the tentacle that had coiled around my
waist and was now sliding towards my breasts. I watched his face as he
brought me close enough to him that I could feel his ragged breaths against
my lips.
“I need you, Joanie. More than I’ve ever needed anything. You’re
my mate, but only if you will accept me back. I do not want to push you.”
A chill shot through me, cooling the heat in my core. “You’ve
imprinted on me, haven’t you?” I struggled against his tentacles, shoving at
the one around my torso with my hands. “I don’t want that!”
His brows lowered as his lips turned down into a deep frown. He
released me so quickly that I stumbled as soon as my feet hit the floor.
Before I could sufficiently recover, he’d unlocked the door to the rec room
with an extended tentacle and was moving towards it.
“Wait!” I grabbed at a trailing tentacle, flinching when it whipped
away from my grasp. “Nemon, wait! That came out wrong.”
Realizing that I couldn’t stop him by restraining him, I rushed to the
door, ducking and dodging his flailing tentacles. Though I had to straddle
several of them that had already made it through the door, I was able to
block off his retreat by standing in the doorway. I held my arms out to both
sides of the doorframe, gripping it to keep him from simply nudging me
aside.
 As I suspected, he immediately pulled back, unwilling to hurt me
just to escape. Unable to, if what Claire had told me about imprinting was
true. “Just listen to me, Nemon. We need to talk about this, okay.”
His gaze fixed on mine, his expression almost hungry, but I could
see the sadness in it. “I can’t talk to you now. I can’t control myself around
you.”
I refused to budge. “You won’t hurt me. I know that now.”
He shook his head. “I would never hurt you, but I might still
frighten you.” The tentacles that I straddled lifted to brush against my inner
thighs, causing an instant shock of heat to my core. “And I can’t promise
that I won’t touch you.” One of them bumped up against my slit, pressing
hard as it retracted back towards him. It turned to the bottom side when the
tip was under me, and I felt the kiss of suction cups that tugged on the damp
fabric covering my sex.
I nearly came just from that, but stood my ground as the tentacle
finally pulled away, leaving Nemon with a wild look in his eyes that did
kind of scare me, but in a good way. “I think you have enough control not
to do anything I don’t want.”
“Did you want that?” His voice was barely above a whisper.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Oh yes, I wanted that. That and a
whole lot more that I couldn’t articulate at that moment, but I had to be
careful what I said, because Nemon had imprinted on me, which was not a
good thing for him—nor was it something that I could be happy about. He
hadn’t chosen me because I was someone special to him. He didn’t want me
because he liked my personality, or even the way I looked. He was only
interested in me because some twisted biological imperative forced him to
be. I didn’t want a lover who was compelled to choose me. I wanted one
who wanted me—who would choose me out of all the other women in the
galaxy. I wanted someone who would look at me and see something worth
loving in me.
There was still hope though. Hope that he could learn to love me the
way his body already craved me. I’d seen Thrax with Claire, and I’d heard
him speak about her to crewmembers and honestly, anyone who would
stand still enough to listen. In fact, the only words he voluntarily spoke with
people were words of praise for his mate. He wasn’t just physically drawn
to her, he was enamored with the person Claire was. He spoke of her
strength, of her wisdom, and oddly enough, he mentioned her empathy—as
if it was something that particularly stood out to him as an admirable trait. I
wouldn’t have expected an insectoid alien to find such a thing important,
but Thrax seemed to think it was worth mentioning. I believed he loved her
because he had learned to love her, not because his body told him he had no
other choice.
His devotion to Claire was inspiring, and hers to him was equally
so. They had found love in the unlikeliest place, and it had made me believe
that perhaps I could do the same with the alien who had fascinated me from
the first moment I’d met his eyes.
But how to communicate that to Nemon, who looked as if he was
fighting—and losing—an internal battle for control against the compulsion
to mate with me. Could he even focus on conversations if he wanted to
mate so badly that it was a constant distraction?
Maybe if you take the edge off…. My wicked inner voice—not the
cruel one—suggested that I help myself to what he offered. That I take
advantage of the lockable rec room and play out every single dirty fantasy I
could dream up about those tentacles. After we were both sated, then we
could talk. Then, maybe, he would see things in me that made him brag to
everyone he encountered about his mate. Things I’d never been able to see
in myself.
It was that harsh reminder that cooled my lustful thoughts. What if
he didn’t find anything that pleased him about me? What if I was always the
burden his body forced him to choose, but he never learned to truly love
me?
I’d hesitated too long in my answer to his question. The feverish
light seemed to dim from his gaze, and his tentacles lay eerily still on the
ground around him. They were almost never still, and it was like they had
suddenly died. I didn’t like the idea of that, or that my rejection had hurt
him as badly as his perceived rejection had hurt me last night. “Nemon, I
want you. I do.” I struggled to find the right words to explain. I knew what I
wanted. That was easy. But I had to think about what I needed. “We have to
go slower than this. I need to know you better, but more importantly, I need
you to know me.”
A single tentacle lifted towards my face, the tip gently brushing
against my cheek. “Why do you cry, Joanie? Did I frighten you again?”
 I released the door frame to touch my other cheek, discovering that
the coolness I’d felt against it was the damp of my own tears. I hadn’t even
realized I’d been crying. “I don’t know. That’s why we have to take this
slow. I don’t know how I feel anymore. Everything is so confusing, and I’m
still having nightmares that I will wake up in that horrible cell, and that this
will all have been a beautiful dream that never happened.”
His tentacles wrapped around me, slowly this time, without the
urgency and jerkiness of his previous movements. As they embraced me, I
felt strangely comforted. I was no longer afraid that he would hurt me, even
by accident. Not given what I was to him. They tightened just enough to lift
me off my feet, dangling me as they pulled me towards his upper body.
“Please don’t ask that I pinch you to make sure it’s real.” He touched my
face with the clawed hand that I’d rarely ever seen him use, cupping my
cheek, his eyes gazing at his hand as if he studied it. “It’s so strange that
your kind have only this sensation when they touch. I feel half-blind when I
use my hands.” Suction cups pulled on my clothes and skin where his
tentacles held me. “I feel so much more from my tentacles. How can you
stand it? Is this why you must hurt yourself to feel that your life is real?”
I sighed, sagging into his alien embrace, feeling safe, even though
he held me above the ground. He wouldn’t let me fall. “Our senses might
not be as good as yours, but we don’t routinely hurt ourselves just to make
sure we’re not dreaming. It’s just that I had escaped so often into my
memories while I was being tortured, that sometimes, they felt more real
than what was happening to me. Then, I’d wake up and find that I was still
in hell. So, now I’m suspicious when things are too good.”
The tentacles that weren’t holding me writhed behind Nemon as his
skin shifted colors and his brows lowered enough to cast shadows in his
eyes. “Tell me how to fix your pain. I will crush the ones who hurt you. I
will crush the ones who ordered them to hurt you. I will crush the very
empire they serve.”
I laughed, though his expression was terrifyingly fierce. It still sent a
thrill through me, because he wanted vengeance for my suffering. “You
can’t go crushing entire empires, Nemon. You already have a bit of a
dangerous reputation. People might frown upon that.”
“Not the Akrellians.”
 He probably had a point. They’d likely give him a couple of fleets to
carry out his vengeance. There was certainly no love lost between our new
hosts and our former captors. “Still, all that crushing would cut into cuddle
time.” I pressed my hand against his chest, stroking my fingers over his
smooth skin and rippling muscles. They twitched beneath my palm. “I’ll
find a way to fix my own pain. You could help with that, by listening when
I need to talk, and by holding me when I can’t speak of it anymore.”
His skin was a different texture from mine. Not as soft, but
smoother. It didn’t have much give, and the muscles beneath it didn’t either,
though I felt like they shifted under my hand in a way that wasn’t entirely
normal. It was strange to touch him like this. It felt very intimate, as if he
was leaving himself vulnerable to me by letting me come into contact with
his upper body.
Nemon carried me back into the rec room, his tentacle manipulating
the lock on the door panel so that it shut behind us and lit up to indicate the
privacy notice. At the same time that he was doing all of that, he also pulled
me against his chest, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as if the
action was unfamiliar to him personally, but he’d seen someone else do it.
His fingers caught in my hair, and he rubbed a strand of it between his
thumb and forefinger.
I thought he was going to release me when we reached the sofa, but
he continued to hold me, stroking my hair and back with soothing hands,
while his tentacle remained wrapped around my waist and legs. Not once
did they stray where I almost hoped they would. It seemed he truly was
willing to simply hold me close, and just listen.
 Chapter 14

JOANIE

It took a while for me to start talking. I’d always been hesitant to

share stories of my past because there were so many painful areas, and I
didn’t want to break down in front of other people. As much as I’d tried to
develop one, I didn’t have a poker face. I could read other people’s tells, but
I could never control my own. I also couldn’t hide my emotions from
showing on the surface. When I broke down emotionally, my vulnerability
was on display for anyone who saw me. I felt like that made me weak—that
crying and carrying on was a bad thing that must be eradicated.
My ex-husband, Michael, had reinforced that feeling, insisting that I
was overreacting when I lost one pregnancy after another. “It’s no big deal,”
he’d said after my third miscarriage. “It’s not like you went to full term or
anything. You’re what, ten weeks in? You don’t need to grieve over that.
Every. Single. Time. We’ll just try again.” His impatient tone had trailed
back to me as he’d left the house to head off to work, leaving me sitting
alone on the couch, staring through a film of tears at a daily talk show that
couldn’t distract me from my devastation.
My mother had been more sympathetic, but had also been so much
stronger than me that I felt like a failure whenever I compared myself to
her. She’d endured all her suffering with stoicism, never breaking down in
front of me. There were only the occasional trails of mascara down her face
to mark her misery.
I couldn’t hold back my tears as I tread the minefield with Nemon,
setting off one emotional explosion after another as I told him about my
past. I talked. He listened. And not once did I feel like he was judging me
for my reaction.
He was not very good at controlling his own reactions. His skin
would shift colors, his expression would darken, his lips would pull back in
a snarl as I mentioned the people that had hurt me, or hurt the one I loved.
His tentacles would curl as if they wanted to crush, but the ones that coiled
around me never tightened more than a slight squeeze when I needed
reassurance to continue.
I’d come into the rec room with him thinking lustful thoughts. I
never imagined that I would end up being held in his tentacles while I cried
my eyes out and poured out my problems to him like he was a therapist.
“My mother got pregnant with me when she was only sixteen. Her
parents told her to get rid of the problem, or she needn’t bother coming
home.” I well-remembered my grandparents, though I would never have
honored them with such a title. They’d come to my high-school graduation,
bringing a measly card to make up for all the years they’d ignored my
existence. I’d thrown it in my grandmother’s face, practically spitting with
my enraged words to them. I wasn’t angry that they hadn’t made an effort
for me, but that they’d forced my teenaged mother to live at her friends’
houses and sometimes even out of cars in order to keep me.
“The father wasn’t even in the picture. Some older guy who’d
knocked her up and disappeared by the time she discovered she was
pregnant. The worst part was that he hadn’t even given her his real name.
She’d had no way to track him down. So, she struggled to make ends meet
on her own.”
It had gotten ugly for her. Government assistance had not been
enough, so she’d turned to stripping in a gentleman’s club as soon as she
was old enough to legally do so. At first, the money had been good enough
to rent an actual house in the suburbs of Vegas, and playing in that yard had
been the happiest memories of my childhood, but I later learned that she’d
been prostituting herself to pay the bills.
“Addiction runs in my family.” I laid my head against Nemon’s
chest, listening to see if he had a heartbeat. He did have one, though it beat
in a strange rhythm. I was distracted from my story enough to press my
hand against his chest, trying to locate his heart. It thumped under my
cheek, but there was another thump beneath my palm as I slid my hand
along his chest. “You have two hearts?”
“Three,” he said, taking my hand and pressing it lower, against the
ripped muscles of his abdomen, until I was almost touching the webbing of
his tentacles.
“That’s so cool!” It explained the strange rhythm I’d been hearing. I
wanted to explore his body more, but I recognized that at least some of that
was procrastination. I wanted him to know me, so that maybe he could find
a reason to love me, but that meant I had to be honest with him about the
things that were not lovable about me.
“My mother struggled with an addiction to drugs. She hid it from
me pretty well when I was little, but when I was eight, she started dating her
dealer, if you could call it ‘dating.’ By that time, she’d lost the house, and
we’d moved from one rundown motel to another, paying by the week. His
trailer was the most stable place I’d lived in over two years, but he had
taken to beating on her pretty regularly. Regular enough that I actually came
home from school to find him doing it.”
I felt all of Nemon’s tentacles tense. “I don’t understand. Was she
trying to eat him?”
“What?” I pulled away enough to look up at him. “Are you
serious?” One look at his confused expression told me that he wasn’t
joking. “Oh, god, do your females eat the males when they mate?”
He nodded. “It has been known to happen, if we are not careful. My
father has said this is not the case with the females of his species, or many
others, but he still feared the females of his species.”
As interesting as that last bit was, I was more interested in Nemon
than his “father.” “So, I take it you didn’t make a habit of mating with the
females of your species. Seeing as you’re still here to tell about it.” I looked
around me at the mass of lethal tentacles stretching around the rec room.
“Your females must be huge to be able to eat their males.”
He grinned. “They are much larger, but I was very fast.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his proud statement. “Yeah, that’s not
usually something a human guy would brag about, but then again, we
human ladies don’t go snacking on our men after we do the deed. Tends to
keep them from wanting to stick around and cuddle.” During the telling of
one of the worst moments in my life, he’d managed to make me smile. I
could still feel the poison in those memories in my heart, but new memories
were forming like antitoxin. Now, I would always remember this moment,
with his tentacles holding me in a gentle embrace, supporting me as if my
weight was no burden, caressing me as if soothing me was more important
than seducing me. And he had made me laugh.
He was unaware of the wonder I felt at that achievement, or the way
I was cataloguing every detail to recall later, when the moments weren’t so
precious. “If your females do not threaten the males’ lives, than why would
your mother’s mate bring harm to her? This is what ‘beating on her’ means,
is it not?”
My amusement evaporated, and I had to return to the darkness of
my confession. Worse, I had to explain that darkness to Nemon. When I’d
told him about losing my babies and about my husband’s lack of interest in
my grief, he’d understood my pain immediately. He’d been angered by
Michael’s callousness, and sympathetic to the losses that still remained as
scars on my heart. This memory I was sharing now was a different kind of
ugly. “He hurt her because he could. Because he was stronger than her, and
she needed what he had to offer—a roof over our head, food for our bellies,
money to support us,” I hesitated before admitting the last, because the
resentment I still felt at that admission seemed like a disloyalty, “and drugs
to ease her cravings.”
I’d managed to distress him. Whatever signs of happiness he’d
shown at his own mating successes disappeared from his expression as a
deep scowl replaced it. He tugged me back against his chest, his hands
smoothing over the skin of my back, cradling me against him as if he
needed to protect me from something. His tentacles reinforced that
impression. Those that weren’t coiled around me—supporting me—rose
vertically to form a barrier, enclosing us in a cage of tentacles. “Does this
monster still live?” His tone suggested that he would gladly correct that.
I patted his chest, then began to play with the strands of his hair that
fell over his shoulder, coiling them around my finger as I sought the words
to describe what had happened next. “I don’t know if he still lives, but I
know that I scared him half to death when I went into their bedroom, pulled
his loaded gun out of the nightstand and took it into the living room to point
it at him. I told him to get lost or I’d blow his pecker off.” That was the only
word I’d known for it at the time—the other kids at my school whispering
the word that someone had heard from their parents with guilty giggles.
When it had been explained to me, I’d had the typical reaction of an eight
year-old to such a thing. My mother had tried to shelter me from the seedier
aspects of her life. She’d managed to maintain most of my innocence until
that day.
“Pecker?”
 I wanted to giggle at his questioning tone as he repeated the word
just as I’d said it, not a translation from his language to mine. I wanted to
laugh about it just like those kids in my class had long ago. I wanted
something to be amused about, again. “His penis. A human male has a….” I
lifted my head from his chest, looking up into his face, wondering what he
had. “It’s how a human male mates.” I dropped my hand from his hair to
stroke over his abdomen again, where his third heart beat steady and strong,
then I let my hand drift lower, onto the firmer skin of his webbing, which
was more like the texture of his tentacles. I paused right over where his
groin would be before it split into his tentacles. “What do you use to mate?
You mentioned that you wanted to, but….”
“My mating tentacle has regrown for you, Joanie.”
My whole body flushed with heat. “You mean one of your tentacles
is your….”
A tentacle lifted up towards me, and he waved it in front of my face.
The tip curled just like the others, but then it straightened and stiffened right
before my eyes, and I could see that there was a hollow area on the
underside. It was just as thick as his other tentacles—three-fingers wide at
the tip, then tapering after about twelve inches into an even larger diameter
—and it was just as long as his other tentacles. “That’s… that’s big.”
“I will not use it, if you don’t wish me to.” He let it fall, tucking the
stiffened tip under his webbing as if to hide it from my fascinated gaze.
“We’re gonna have to discuss that at a later….” I fanned my face.
“It’s hot in here. Is it hot in here to you?”
He stretched out a tentacle to the climate control panel on the wall.
“It says that it is an optimal temperature for the current occupants. Would
you like me to cool the room?”
I shook my head. “I’m getting distracted. You haven’t even said
what you think about what I just told you. I threatened to unman someone
with a gun when I was only eight. Doesn’t that disturb you?” I’d never
shared that tale with anyone else. At the time, I was too scared that her
dealer would report me to the police, and I’d be locked away in juvenile, or
he’d come back and kill me and my mom, though Mom had packed us up
as soon as she managed to climb to her feet after his rapid retreat from the
trailer. We’d taken the gun and all the cash we could find in the place,
which had been quite a lot for what we were used to. He’d never come after
us, but I’d lived in fear that he would—for a long time. I had some
suspicions about what had happened to him, but I didn’t mention it to
Nemon. Those were my mother’s secrets. Ones she’d never shared with me.
“How long would it take for his pecker to regenerate?”
I laughed, short, sharp, a little hysteria on the end of it. “Yeah, that
doesn’t happen to humans, Nemon. It would have been gone for good.”
“Then I think you should have shot him. If he doesn’t know how to
handle a female, he does not deserve his pecker.”
“I was eight. I would have missed and probably hit him in the leg or
something.” Still, I couldn’t keep the grin off my lips. Not the least because
he thought “pecker” was the appropriate word for the human phallus now,
thanks to me. I felt a strange sense of lightness that was unfamiliar to me.
The burden of that memory had lived with me for so long that I’d barely
noticed its weight anymore, learning to dodge it as I had to so many other
memories. He hadn’t judged me. He didn’t hold what I’d told him against
me.
His webbed fingers began to knead my back, pressing on the knots
there. I felt a couple of his tentacles join in as he massaged. “These stories
distress you. Every muscle in your body is tense and getting tighter. It
doesn’t seem like sharing them is helping to fix your pain.”
His touch was heavenly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a
massage, and he really knew how to find the knots and work them loose. “It
actually is helping. I’ve held this in for so long, I was afraid I wouldn’t be
able to speak of it.”
“I would take away your pain if I could. I wonder now if this is why
Father took my memories away.”
I moaned against his chest as his tentacles slid to my neck and began
to gently squeeze those muscles. “Did he really take them? Is that why you
can’t remember what happened before you were changed?”
“I remember some things, but I spent many years alone, with
nothing to do but think, and all those memories before the lab were like
schools of fish that scattered as soon as I tried to grasp at them. Sometimes,
I could pull one back, but so many simply disappeared. I remember that my
people are solitary, but my Father’s people are not. Despite knowing that, it
is difficult to understand which part of me was responsible for the
loneliness and the desperation to hear another voice besides my own when I
was in the warrens, or to see another person. When I grabbed Thrax, I knew
he could kill me. I didn’t care. I needed to talk to someone, or I would have
gone mad.”
His pain hurt me even more than my own. How had he survived for
so long alone, after being a test subject—poked, prodded, tortured, and
changed for who knew how long before that? At least one thing remained
constant in all of my memories, and that was me. I always knew what I was,
and how I was supposed to feel. I’d always been surrounded by others like
me. Nemon, like Thrax, was completely unique. If he returned to his
homeworld, he would be an oddity there as much as anywhere else in the
galaxy. He truly had no family.
But he had me. Whether I was ready to accept it or not, I’d already
made the decision that he would never be that alone again—not as long as I
could help it.
The high collar of my jumpsuit concealed my skin from his
massaging tentacle, and I regretted that as it wrapped gently around the
back of my neck, working each tight muscle loose as I melted against his
chest, sighing in contentment. “You don’t have to abduct killer aliens
anymore, Nemon. I’ll gladly keep you company from now on.” I smiled.
“Mmm, especially if you keep doing this.”
He chuckled. “Thrax isn’t so bad, but he’s not as pretty as you.”
I laughed again, feeling light and free, relaxed in a way that I hadn’t
been since even before I was abducted by aliens. Relaxed in the embrace of
the most alien of them all.
 Chapter 15

JOANIE

I was determined that the next time Nemon gave me a massage with
his magical tentacles, I wanted to be naked, and it needed to be a full body
massage. Unfortunately, while he’d worked his miracles, I fell asleep in his
arms, wasting the opportunity to take advantage of our privacy in the rec
room. My translator awakened me when it beeped to let me know someone
was trying to communicate with me.
I lifted my head off Nemon’s chest, noticing to my horror that I’d
even drooled a little on his skin. I quickly swiped at my lips and tried to
brush away the moisture on his skin with my forearm without making it
obvious.
As soon as I started moving, his hands lifted to stroke my hair,
letting me know that he was awake, and probably had remained so the
entire time that I conked out on him. “How long was I out?” I stifled a
yawn, feeling that however long it had been, had not been long enough. I
could have slept on him forever. I’d felt… safe.
“Not long. It has only just past the second hour.”
“Ah! I was out for two hours?” I struggled against his tentacles,
motioning for him to put me down. He complied, though his tentacles
uncoiled from my body slowly, as if they were reluctant to let me go. “Jeez,
they’re going to think we’re having a marathon session in here! No wonder
my communicator is going off.”
As I tapped the button to open the link, I stretched my body,
enjoying the languid feeling of muscles that had been well massaged, while
Nemon’s triple heartbeats had soothed me to sleep. Forget New Age music
and aromatherapy. Nemon’s exotic musk and thumping hearts—combined
with his skillful tentacles—were heaven. I’d never be satisfied with a
regular massage again.
Tarin’s voice spoke into my ear as soon as the link opened. “I am in
awe of your stamina, girl, but can we have our rec room back?”
 My blush spread from my cheeks all the way down to my toes. “I
fell asleep. That’s all.”
“Pffft. You don’t have to make up stories for me, especially not
boring ones like falling asleep. I want to hear the good stuff, but you should
unlock the rec room or people around here are gonna start talking… about
how one of you is going to need a medic after all that lovin’. Me and the
girls are taking bets on which one. I chose you for the win.”
I glanced at Nemon, who was watching me with an upraised brow,
waiting for me to explain what Tarin was saying—an explanation he wasn’t
going to get. “All right, we’ll unlock the room now. Just… give us a minute
to clear out.” I didn’t want to face a crowd of people in the corridor with my
blush burning and Nemon wondering what everyone was gawping at.
“No problem. Are we going to need to send in a cleaning bot?” I
could hear the laughter in her voice.
“We just talked and then I fell asleep!” I lowered my voice as I saw
Nemon’s expression close up until it was unreadable. Maybe I was
imagining that fleeting glimpse of hurt that had crossed his face at my
words to Tarin.
His tentacle extended to the door panel, unlocking it. Then he
motioned for me to precede him out of the rec room.
“We’re heading out now, Tarin.” I pushed the button to cut off her
reply, hoping that she and the others would not be on the other side of the
door.
When it opened, the corridor beyond was empty. I stepped out of the
rec room, then backed several paces towards the cabins to give Nemon
room to exit.
Watching him move was both unnerving and awe-inspiring. His
tentacles always preceded him, and I wondered if that was a matter of
survival instinct. After all, if he lost one, they would grow back. They
extended beyond the door opening, curling around the frame, looking for all
the world like the entrance of some horror-movie monster of the deep.
As more of their length poured out of the rec room, they shifted,
curled, and twisted to make room in the corridor for the rest of his bulk.
Then his upper body appeared, his tentacles bunching up beneath his
webbing to make room and help him proceed down the corridor towards the
elevator.
 I followed his trailing tentacles, bothered by the fact that he had
barely spared me a glance when he’d left the room before heading towards
the elevator.
When we reached the shiny door, Nemon pressed his palm against
the panel, which proceeded to scan it. He said not a word to me, but his
tentacles made room for me to approach his upper body, curling around me
as if they still wanted to embrace me, but didn’t dare.
“Hey. Thank you.” I waved behind me towards the rec room. “For
listening. For caring.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “For that great
massage.”
He glanced at me, then turned his gaze back to the door as if he
could will it to open faster. “I’ve caused you embarrassment. I heard you on
the communicator. You didn’t want your friends to think we had done
anything but talk.”
I sighed loudly. “That’s because Tarin was teasing me, not because
I’m embarrassed by you. When it happens between us, you’d better believe
I’m not going to pretend it didn’t.”
His head whipped around until his eyes fixed on me. “When it
happens?”
I reached up, trying to touch his cheek, but he was simply too tall.
When he realized what I wanted, his upper body lowered until his face was
just a bit above mine, as his tentacles flattened under him. I stroked my
hand along his strong jawline, then up to trace his high cheekbone. “When
you and I make love, I won’t hide that fact from anyone.”
“Make love?” He turned his face into my palm. “I’ve heard the word
love before. It is an emotion, isn’t it? My father used the word with
skepticism. He didn’t believe it existed. He said all the Iriduan males knew
was enslavement. How does a human make love?”
“So many ways, Nemon. Humans love in so many ways. But what I
meant was when we mate.”
He sucked in a breath, lifting his head away from my hand. “You
wish to mate? You’re accepting me?”
I wasn’t accepting the imprinting. I wanted true love, but I believed
that if I gave it a chance, I could find it with Nemon, as crazy as that was.
Something about him called to me. I had to give this a chance, and chance
was my addiction. One I had yet to confess to him. There would be time for
that, because I wasn’t about to let him go. “I said when, not if. I mean that.”
 Chapter 16

JOANIE

Tarin flashed me a knowing grin when I returned to the rec room to

find the other women already settling onto the sofa, while Theresa searched
through holograms, looking for something that wasn’t too engrossing to
distract from their conversation.
A variety of snacks were laid out on the low table, showing that
someone had been at the replicator, and Claire patted the sofa next to her
when she saw me. “Saved you a spot.”
Tarin rubbed her hands together. “Are you kidding? Put this girl in
the center so we can all see her while she gives us the deets!”
Theresa glanced at Tarin, then rolled her eyes. “Cut her some slack,
Tare.” She smiled at me. “You’ll have to forgive her. She’s a child trapped
in an adult body.”
Tarin held out her hands, affecting a passable offended expression.
“What? Like no one else is curious? Am I the only one here who wants
more information about the wonders and marvels of the galaxy?”
Claire shook her head, a small smile playing around her lips. “Some
people have a little more tact, Tarin.”
“Pfft, tact is for boring people.” She settled back into her seat and
crossed her arms, but shot me a wink to let me know that she was only
playing around.
Still, my blush was high. I could feel it burning my cheeks. “We
really did just talk, and then I fell asleep after he massaged my back and
neck.”
Theresa dropped her head back, lifting a hand to rub her neck.
“Oooh, I could use a good massage.”
There was a chorus of agreements to that statement.
Claire studied me with a searching look. “So, everything’s going
well with Nemon?”
I shrugged, not really ready to talk about my feelings for him. “We
just met.”
 Claire waved a hand in front of her. “Oh, no. That’s not gonna work
with me. You forget that I’ve been there. This isn’t like bumping into some
cute guy at a rave and suddenly thinking you’re madly in love because of
how nice his shirt hugs his body. You and Nemon didn’t ‘just meet.’ You
came together in a storm of terror and trauma while escaping a harrowing
ordeal trapped inside an alien research facility. The regular rules of
attraction don’t apply here.”
“Well, when you put it that way….”
She laughed. “Oh, I’ll definitely put it that way! I fell for Thrax hard
and fast. Sure, I was drawn to him by his pheromones, and let me tell you,
they pack a wallop that’ll mess a girl’s head up good—which is why I told
him to tone it down whenever other women are around—but the truth is that
I would have fallen for him anyway—pretty quickly—even without the
extra dose of sexy juice.” She leaned back in her seat, studying the ceiling
curving above us with a thoughtful expression. “I don’t know what it is.
Maybe the circumstances heighten our need to bond with someone else, or
maybe it’s the fact that they risk their lives to protect us that is so
appealing.”
“Maybe, we have a little bit of that imprinting stuff in us too,”
Theresa said, abandoning her search through the holos.
We all turned our focus to her, and she glanced between us with a
wide-eyed expression. “Well, it would make sense, right? Why else would
you be willing to overlook things like the fact that the guy is a freakin’
alien?”
Tarin clapped her hands together. “Wooo, sounds like Terry’s got a
crush too!”
I was glad to see that I wasn’t the only one who blushed so
obviously, though Theresa’s skin was several shades darker than my pale
complexion, and her blush was a pretty warm peach that only seemed to
heighten her cheekbones, as opposed to my cherry red blotches that made
me look feverish.
Theresa glared at Tarin. “Maybe they did something to us when they
were probing us in that facility. Added some kind of gene that made us
grow attached to someone really fast—like their males do.”
Claire leaned over me to put a hand on Theresa’s shoulder. “You
know, it’s okay to just admit to yourself that you like him. You don’t have
to find excuses for how you feel.”
Theresa pulled away and jumped to her feet to pace in front of the
sofa. “It’s not normal! Those Iriduans, they did something to us to make it
happen that fast!” She paused and waved her finger at us. “I’m telling you,
I’m not going to trust this feeling.”
I wondered if she had a point. I didn’t know why the Iriduans would
bother doing such a thing to me, but for females that they wanted to turn
into breeders, it wouldn’t have been a bad idea. It would certainly make
them more agreeable to the process. It did seem like I’d been fascinated
with Nemon far too quickly.
Claire stood, shaking her head firmly. “No.” She took Theresa’s
shaking hand, clasping her other hand over it. “It’s not normal, but nothing
about what happened to us is, Theresa. That doesn’t mean the Iriduans have
done anything to change how we feel. I’m telling you, they don’t even
know what causes their males to imprint, because they would have removed
it from their DNA if they could’ve. They couldn’t have pinpointed that one
thing and done it to us.”
“But they wanted us to be breeders,” Theresa said, her eyes haunted
and distant. “They made us feel desire for alien men.”
Claire huffed. “They didn’t care about how we felt. They wouldn’t
have bothered to change us. They knew we couldn’t escape what they had
planned for us.” She patted Theresa’s hand. “It takes some getting used to, I
know, but none of us are judging you.” She shot a warning glance at Tarin.
Tarin held up her hands. “Hey, I didn’t say I was judging.” She
poked a thumb at me. “I’m the one who told Joanie to snag her man before
some other girl did. I’m all for a little xenophilia. Nothing else to do on this
ship.”
Theresa pulled her hand free of Claire’s grasp and covered her face.
“Oh god! Just tell me that the Iriduans did this to us.”
I looked from Theresa to Claire. “Do you think maybe they did?”
She sighed. “Not you too, Joanie.” She crossed her arms. “Let me
say it one more time. The Iriduans do not know what makes them imprint.
If they could do it to females, they probably would have done it to their
own. They cannot.”
So how I felt about Nemon was all me. I wasn’t sure if I felt relief
about that or not. It would be almost simpler to think like Theresa did and
assume that something had been done to me to explain away my almost
instant attraction to a male who was so incredibly different from me.
Yet, Claire’s explanation also had merit. I’d awoken from a
nightmare to find myself held in the protective tentacles of an alien who
was able to easily crush the people who had tormented me for months. Sure,
I’d been afraid of him, but I’d also been awed by his power. Was it really so
strange that I was drawn to him, even in that moment? Maybe, but Claire
was right. Nothing about what had happened to us was normal. It would be
too much to expect normal reactions to it.
At any rate, she seemed wholly convinced that her love for Thrax
was her own and not some lab experiment perpetrated on her by the
Iriduans. Claire had a way about her, despite her relative youth, that made a
person look to her for guidance. She was quiet, centered, and thoughtful.
She didn’t dissolve into tears under stress, like I did, or lose her temper like
Tarin did, or even grow fretful, like Theresa did. She endured in a way I
envied. It made me feel that I could trust her judgement more than my own,
or Theresa’s.
Theresa’s reaction was interesting in itself. I hadn’t spent much time
away from either being with Nemon or thinking about him since I’d been
on this ship, so I hadn’t noticed much about what was happening with my
fellow humans. I knew that Theresa had been curious about the Akrellians
—particularly the males. I was surprised about her outburst, because she’d
been the one to tell me that she was over the whole “alien’s being weird”
thing. I realized now that she had been trying to convince herself, as much
as she had been trying to convince me. Perhaps my interlude with Nemon
had shaken her enough to admit that her attraction to an alien still worried
her.
Our conversation gave me even more to think about than I already
had. My confusion and roiling emotions almost made me miss the
predictability of my former cell.
 Chapter 17

JOANIE

That night, as I lay in my bunk, I started to have a panic attack. This

time, it wasn’t because of the close confines of my cabin, but rather because
of Nemon, and my questions and doubts about what was happening
between us. I’d taken it too far, and made promises I wasn’t certain I could
—or even should—keep.
I feared that it was all happening too fast—too fast to be certain that
there was something real there—actual emotion for each other and not just
some biological imperative, or worse, some desperate need on my part. I
began to doubt my own reasons for gravitating towards this relationship,
fearing that too much time locked in a cell, being tortured and experimented
on, had destroyed my better judgement, which—to be entirely honest—had
never been that great to begin with.
Starting something with Nemon wouldn’t be like hooking up with
some tourist in a night club, where I’d wake up the next morning feeling
hungover and regretful, and then I’d slip out quietly to make the walk of
shame to the nearest bus stop. This wasn’t something I could slip away
from if it all went sideways, and if Nemon truly did feel strongly about me
because of imprinting, then it would be brutal for him if I were to leave
him.
Nor did I want to leave him. I just wanted to make sure my head was
on straight before I made any more life decisions. I was scared. More scared
than I’d ever been, even when I’d been a captive. Then, there had been no
decision to make. It was all out of my control, and whatever happened to
me was out of my hands. I couldn’t be to blame for the fallout of it.
This was entirely a different matter. Now, I had control over this
situation. I didn’t need to know him for a long time to recognize that
Nemon would never force me to choose him. He wanted me to accept him
on my own. But what if I did, then I screwed things up all over again, like I
always seemed to screw things up?
 How many times had my impulsive decisions landed me into trouble?
My mother had had to bail me out of trouble on more than one occasion,
settling my debts for me so that I could start fresh, but there was always
some new mistake waiting around the next corner for me to make it.
Nemon was my new impulse, and it was only now that I recognized
it. I’d spent my entire life seeking the security and safety I’d never had as a
child. I was looking for a home, and someone to care about me, since the
one person who ever truly had, had died in a car wreck because of a drunk
driver. Nearly ten years sober, and someone else’s addiction had ended up
killing my mother. Life loved to kick me, over and over again, and I not
only let it, I often laid on the ground so it could aim for my head.
I was gambling again, only I wasn’t using chips this time. I was
betting both of our hearts on this venture, and l wasn’t even sure that mine
could handle the investment. I’d had no right to make him promises I
wasn’t sure I could keep, and I felt sick from that realization.
It was late, at least for our deck, which meant it would also be late for
Nemon because the Akrellians had set our schedule to coincide with his.
Despite the lateness of the hour, I couldn’t sleep without dealing with this
issue. I had to clear things up with him, and I had to do it now, before I lost
my nerve.
The corridor beyond my cabin seemed to stretch with each step I took
towards the elevator. I struggled to control the fluttery feeling in my chest
from my anxiety attack. It felt like I couldn’t draw in a deep enough breath,
and my heart pounded, loud in my ears.
When I lifted a hand to the scanner to unlock the elevator, I saw that it
was shaking so badly that it was difficult to hold still long enough for the
panel to scan it. Finally, the elevator door slid open, yawning before me like
a hungry maw.
My skin dampened from sweat as I stepped into the elevator,
requesting the wet-hold deck. I dreaded the upcoming meeting with Nemon.
I had no idea what I would say, only that I couldn’t do this with him
anymore. Not without knowing for sure that it was what was best for both
of us. Like Theresa, I felt that things were happening too fast. Something
wasn’t right. People didn’t fall in love like this.
I never had. It had taken me over a year to accept Michael’s
proposal, and even then, I’d still had doubts. I’d never felt about anyone the
way I felt about Nemon. Like I needed to see him all the time, as if I
couldn’t get enough of him, or like I’d known him forever, and trusted him
with my life. That wasn’t normal.
Even now, I wanted to see him, despite my trepidation over the
upcoming conversation we had to have. So when the door slid open on the
wet-hold, my eyes immediately sought his pool. He was already climbing
out of it, his tentacles spilling out of the water around his upper body. I
couldn’t even say when such a sight had become beautiful to me, but it was.
He met me halfway across the hold, not waiting for me to go to him at
his pool. His tentacles coiled around my legs and wrists as his smile spread
wide. “Joanie! I hadn’t hoped to see you again so soon.”
I took a few steps away from him when he lowered his upper body
towards me, and he pulled back, a small frown creasing his brow.
“What’s wrong? Did you have another nightmare?”
I sucked in a breath, struggling to make it deep enough to combat my
lightheadedness. “I… no. Nemon, we need to talk.”
His frown slipped away, replaced by a wary expression. His tentacles
didn’t release me. “I’ll listen to you whenever you need me to.”
I sighed. Taking another step away from him, I pressed a hand against
the tentacle around my wrist to push it off.
His tentacles instantly withdrew from my body, curling back against
his webbing in tight spirals. “Joanie?”
I almost cried at the look of confused hurt on his beautiful face. I’d
caused that, and I was only going to end up hurting him more. “I’m sorry,
Nemon.” I gestured between us. “I don’t think I’m ready for this. It’s too
soon.” I shook my head, biting back tears. “I can’t trust these feelings. I
think….,” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “I think I need therapy more
than I need a boyfriend right now.”
He tilted his head, confusion still darkening the gray of his eyes as
colors rippled over his skin. “Boyfriend?”
I licked my lips. “It’s a human word for mate.”
Understanding dawned, and his body curled into a tighter ball until he
almost seemed to diminish before me. “You no longer wish to be my
mate?” More colors spilled across his skin, an array of stripes and spots
flowing along his coiled tentacles. “What did I do wrong, Joanie? Please,
tell me. I will fix it!”
 I bit my fist to hold back a sob, turning my back on him so that I
didn’t have to see his pain at my rejection. It was cowardly of me, but my
own pain was tearing me into pieces, and the sight of his threatened to
shatter me. There was nothing I wanted more at that moment than to throw
myself into his tentacles and make love to him until we were both spent,
pledging my heart to him for as long as he would have it, but it was that
very feeling that made me certain that how I felt wasn’t normal, and I
couldn’t give into that desire until I better understood why I felt that way.
The more I was determined to push him away, and deny this feeling
between us, the greater my anxiety grew, until I felt lightheaded from lack
of oxygen.
As I stumbled, his tentacles curled around me, and his worried face
was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.
 Chapter 18

NEMON

I couldn’t believe the words she was trying to say to me. After what
had happened earlier, I was certain that Joanie had agreed to accept me as
her mate, but now, she was saying that she didn’t want me. Instead, she
wanted a therapist—whatever that was. I thought maybe I had misheard or
misunderstood her, but she’d pushed my tentacles away and had turned her
back on me.
I struggled to find the right words to say to fix whatever I had broken
between us. It must have been something I’d said or done that had made her
doubt this. Perhaps I had pushed her too fast, my own eagerness to touch
her overriding my better sense. She deserved better than that. She had said
it was too soon, but I was impatient, letting my body set the pace instead of
my hearts.
I’d felt her pain as I’d held her while she told me about her past. I’d
felt every ounce of tension in her muscles, and had worked to knead the
knots away, but I hadn’t been able to touch the wounds inside her, the ones
that made her heart bleed. It was little wonder she felt like things were
moving too fast, when I couldn’t seem to keep my tentacles to themselves
instead of giving her the time to heal.
The words came to me, the reassurance that I would not force myself
upon her, and that I would give her all the time and space she needed, as
long as she didn’t disappear from my life completely. I needed her, but my
need was selfish. Joanie needed space and time to think. I would promise
that to her.
Only I didn’t get the chance to speak those words, because she
suddenly collapsed to her knees, gasping for breath.
Instantly, my tentacles went around her, coiling protectively. I could
feel her muscles tense up as she struggled to breathe. Her pulse rapidly
pounded beneath her skin, and her temperature felt warmer than it should
be. I tasted her physical distress. Smelled it. And felt it as her entire body
suddenly went limp in my tentacles.
 “Commander!” My hand shook as I pressed the button on my
translator to contact the commander of the ship.
As soon as his voice came over the line, I said, “I need a healer for
Joanie!” I was shouting, terrified that he wouldn’t understand me, or
respond fast enough to get her to a healer in time.
“We’re sending one down now.” His response was short, clipped. I
wondered if he thought I had done something to her, but didn’t care in that
moment what his impression was, as long as she got the help she needed. I
could protect her from physical dangers, but I couldn’t save her from
illness, and I’d never felt this helpless before.
True to his word, the door slid open just a few short minutes later, but
by that time, I was nearly frantic with fear as I cradled her limp body in my
tentacles. I heard the weapons of the Akrellian guards accompanying the
healer clicking as they trained them on me.
Despite their caution, the healer approached me without fear, her eyes
fixed on Joanie. She carried a scanner and quickly passed it over Joanie’s
body as I held her out. Then she sighed and brushed a gentle hand across
Joanie’s forehead. “Poor female. I wish she had come to see me sooner.”
“Is she okay? Please, tell me she’ll be okay!” I barely restrained my
tentacles from wrapping around the healer’s wrist in desperation.
The healer studied her scanner. “Looks like she had a severe attack of
anxiety.” Her eyes narrowed as she read the readout on the front of the
medical scanner. I’d seen similar devices in Father’s hands before, so I had
some familiarity with it, but I couldn’t see the screen, so had no idea what it
said about Joanie’s condition. She looked up from her scanner and met my
eyes. “What happened before the attack?”
“Please, will she be okay?” I would answer her questions gladly—if it
helped Joanie—but not until I knew for sure that she would be safe.
The healer hesitated, before nodding once. “She’ll be fine. I’ll take
her back to the med bay and get her some oxygen and run a full scan just to
make sure. Her body has been through a lot. The commander really should
have insisted that everyone had a full physical to catch any signs of distress
before now.”
I was able to begin breathing again, and only when I drew in the large
gasp of air did I realize that I had stopped while I was waiting for the
healer’s answer. “She said that she….” I felt reluctant to explain our
conversation to the healer, but if it would make a difference for her to know,
I would tell her everything, regardless of how it made me feel. “She said
that she didn’t wish to be my mate. At least not yet. She said she needed a
therapist, not a boyfriend.” I frowned, recalling the word and feeling it was
inadequate to describe how I felt about her. “It means ‘mate’ in her
language, apparently.”
The healer nodded as she motioned to one of the guards. “Please take
her to the medbay.”
He put away his weapon and approached me. I wanted to cling to
Joanie, but forced my tentacles to extend her unconscious form towards
him, knowing that he would take her where she could be treated.
The healer looked at me with some sympathy in her eyes. “She’ll be
okay. I can’t have you in the medbay. It’s a sterile environment and there
simply isn’t enough room for…,” she gestured to my tentacles, “you, but I
will contact your translator as soon as she wakes up, and I will tell her that
you are concerned about her, so that she will check in with you.”
I nodded, my attention on the guard carrying away my mate—the
mate who didn’t want me. It didn’t matter. I already belonged to her, no
matter what she chose to do about it.
Once they were gone, I retreated to my pool, in my misery seeking
the soothing environment of water around me. I missed the salinity of the
ocean, but my body had learned to adjust—with Father’s help—to any
aquatic environment. As the cool current flowed around me, I settled in to
wait.
 Chapter 19

JOANIE

I woke up in a hospital bed. After a brief glance around, I jerked up

into a sitting position, staring at the sterile white walls around me. The
room I was in was small, and filled with monitors and a drip that was
attached to my arm by a tube.
I shuddered as I stared down at it. I didn’t recognize this lab, but I
knew the drill. The poison and pain would come soon, along with the robot
to take me back to my cell. My heartbeat stuttered, causing an alarm to beep
nearby.
Suddenly, a slender Akrellian female rushed into the room, dressed in
a white jumpsuit with a small insignia on her chest. “Please be at ease,
Madam Joanie.” She stretched her hand towards my forehead, pausing
when I flinched away from her. “I am Medical Officer Lariasa. You’re safe.
You had a nervous attack which temporarily deprived you of enough
oxygen to remain conscious. We have just moved you up here and set you
up on the monitors.” She followed my glance to the tube in my arm. “You
were dehydrated. It looks like you haven’t been eating or drinking enough
to help your body recover properly from your ordeal.”
I shook my head, suddenly remembering what had caused my panic
attack. “Nemon!” I reached for the tube in my arm, fully prepared to yank it
out to jump out of the bed and find him. “Where is he? I hurt him. I need to
make sure he’s okay!”
She reached for my hand to stop me from touching the tube. “Please,
be at ease, Madam. Your friend Nemon is safe and well. We will let him
know that you have awakened as well, and as soon as I’ve completed your
checkup and you’ve finished receiving fluids, we will let you go down to
the wet-hold to speak with him.” Her lips tightened in a firm line. “Though
you really should rest first.”
I couldn’t rest. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I would see his
face after I broke his heart. I would see the way his entire body curled in on
itself to protect him from the pain of my rejection. The alarm beeped again
beside me as my own heart started to pound again.
 Lariasa sighed. “You must try to be calm. We have a counselor who
can speak with you about your anxiety, if you wish, but first, I fear there is
something I must tell you.”
I sucked in several breaths, trying to slow my heartbeat. “Lay it on
me, Officer. I don’t think you can do much to me now that hasn’t already
been done.”
She picked up a datapad beside my bed and scrolled through the
holoscreens on it. “I’m afraid that you did not escape that facility
completely unscathed. Had I been able to examine you earlier, we would
have found the anomaly, and perhaps would have been able to mitigate any
potential reaction.”
I narrowed my eyes on her, not liking the word “anomaly” one
damned bit. “You’re only making my anxiety worse at the moment, Doc.”
“I’m afraid that the Iriduans have spliced some of their DNA into
your genetic code.”
I sat stunned, very nearly fainting all over again as I forgot to breathe.
My monitors beeped more alarms, but I barely heard them.
Lariasa called for a medical assistant, who rushed into the room
carrying what looked far too similar to a hypodermic to be comfortable for
me.
I tried to squirm away from the needle as the assistant pinned me, and
Lariasa set it to my skin. I didn’t even feel the shot as I cried out, struggling
against their overwhelming strength. Tears poured down my cheeks as the
alarms on the monitors wailed in unison with my cries of terror.
A few minutes later, I lay slumped in the bed, feeling many degrees
calmer. The assistant had left the room once he’d been assured that the
sedative had taken affect, and now only Lariasa remained, watching me
with reptilian eyes that were still strangely sympathetic.
“I do apologize, Madam Joanie. This was not the way I would have
done it, but it is clear that your traumatic experiences have made this very
stressful for you.”
“So, how much am I like those bastards?”
Lariasa shook her head. “I am not an expert in your human genetics,
so I cannot say exactly how much has been changed, but my scanners were
able to detect distinctive Iriduan markers which cannot be explained by
their shared ancestry with humans.”
 I felt a pleasant, floating feeling that made her words have barely any
effect on me. “So, you think they gave me that imprinting gene thingy?”
She shook her head. “I did not think they were capable of isolating it,
though our sources say they have spent generations trying to do so. It is
unique to the males, from what I understand, but your reaction to your
friend Nemon does raise the question of whether they were experimenting
on splicing that gene into females.”
I nodded my head dreamily. “Yeah, I’ve had panic attacks before, but
never as bad as when I thought about walking away from Nemon. Or hell,
even just putting some space between us. You know, it’s not so bad really.
At least it would explain some things. I thought I was going crazy, losing
my head over an alien so quickly.”
It was possible that I felt so sanguine about the whole “imprinting”
thing because I was enjoying a nice, fuzzy feeling, but there was another
explanation for my serenity over the thought of being biologically bound to
Nemon. I no longer had to make the decision. It had already been made for
me. I could love him without questions or doubts, because now I knew it
wasn’t in my control. It was little wonder that Theresa had been so
desperate to believe that the Iriduans had done something to us to make us
feel this way. Because they probably had. “You think the others have the
same issue?”
Lariasa tapped a finger on the tablet. “I should not share this, but I do
not believe so. At least, we have examined Claire, and she is free from any
Iriduan genetic manipulation. As is your friend Theresa, who came to us
earlier this very day and asked if something had been done to her.”
Poor Theresa. Having to struggle with her feelings like normal
people. Not being able to just accept that it was fated by her very DNA. I
didn’t envy her. “So, maybe it was just me?”
Lariasa studied her tablet again. “Your immune system is extremely
robust. So far, that is the only other anomaly we could detect,” she glanced
up at me, “other than a chromosomal abnormality that appears to have been
part of your original genetic structure.”
I nodded. “Yep. Knew all about that one, already.” So, all those
experiments on me had given me a buffed-up immune system and a
hankering for a particular tentacle-alien. I hoped I was able to cope with
that once the sedative wore off and I stopped floating on unicorn fart clouds
of happiness. “I’m glad that I can love him now.”
A slight frown rippled the tiny scales on her forehead. “I am not
certain that you have actually imprinted on Master Nemon. It is only
speculation at this point, based on observing your strong reaction to him.
Your attack could simply be a matter of too much trauma, stress, and
physical exhaustion.
I yawned and laid my head back against the pillow. “Eh, I like my
version better. If I have to have some of those Iriduan bastards in me, it
might as well work to my advantage.” I suddenly lifted my head, a thought
invading my happy-bubble. “I don’t want the others to know about this.”
It was too new, and I was afraid of their reaction. I still hadn’t
explained what had happened to me, or objected to their notion that we had
all been intended as breeders in that facility. In fact, I wanted to keep the
truth of my feelings for Nemon to myself as well, for the moment, though I
knew that I couldn’t hide them forever. I loved those ladies like the sisters
I’d never had, but I couldn’t expect them to understand what I’d been
through, or what I was feeling now. Not when I was still struggling with it.
Lariasa nodded. “I will have to inform the prime commander, but it
will not go beyond him. I swear it to you.”
I sighed and sank back into the bedding, closing my eyes. I needed to
rest before I saw Nemon again. I would also have to think when I was
capable of it. There was something freeing in acknowledging that our
relationship was meant to be, but at the same time, I wanted it to be love on
his end. I wanted to know that he really loved me for who I was and not this
compulsion inside us that drew us together.
Because the truth was, alien imprinting gene or not, I was sure I
would love him anyway.
 Chapter 20

NEMON

When Joanie finally came to see me herself, I was filled with resolve
and determined that I would stand strong against my almost overwhelming
desire to touch her. I had to give her the space she needed, and if I could not
do that for her, then I didn’t deserve her.
Though the healer had sent word to me that Joanie was awake and
doing well—but that she had to rest from the strain on her body—I didn’t
feel truly reassured until I saw Joanie herself walking through the wet-hold
door. It was only then that my entire body sagged against the walkway by
my pool, slumped with relief, though my tentacles trembled in their battle
against my will. They wanted to carry me to her, then wrap her up in an
embrace and touch her everywhere to make certain that she was well and
truly safe. Instead, I forced them into stillness, so that they lay around me,
their quivering eagerness barely visible to me and hopefully undetectable to
Joanie as she crossed the wet-hold to my pool.
And then she was standing before me, looking so beautiful that it
physically ached to hold back from touching her, even with just my two
half-blind hands. Her brown eyes were filled with some emotion I could not
understand, but the light of laughter had long ago fled them. I wanted to see
it return, but didn’t know the words to say to amuse her. Her pearl-pale skin
seemed even paler, except for the tinge of redness on her cheeks as she
looked at me. Her body seemed more fragile than ever, and I feared that if I
broke my promise and touched her, she would break apart.
“Hey,” she said, her voice soft and husky, as if she’d just awoken
from sleep.
“Joanie.” My greeting sounded strained even to my ears. I was
strained. Trying to maintain control over all parts of my body when they
had a mind of their own was difficult where she was concerned. All of me
wanted her with equal intensity.
“I’m sorry,” her gaze slid away from my face to focus on the surface
of the pool behind me, “about what happened earlier.”
 I didn’t understand why she was apologizing, since I had clearly
pushed her too far. It was upon me to make the apologies, and to give her
my word that I wouldn’t do so again. “Joanie, do not apologize when
you’ve done nothing wrong. I realize now what a mistake I made.”
Her gaze jerked back to me, her lips parting on a pained gasp as if I
had just slapped her. “A mistake?” Her hands clenched into fists and the
color on her cheeks deepened. “Is that what I am to you?”
It seemed that again I had blundered with her. I reached towards her
with my hands, not trusting my tentacles enough to relax my strained
control over them. “I didn’t mean it like that! You will never be a mistake to
me. I only meant that I had pushed you too far, too fast. I should have taken
things slower with you, but I was thinking selfishly of my own desire to be
with you.”
The tension in her body eased and her expression softened as she let
out a breath. “Oh, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.” Her
gaze shifted around me without focusing on me. “So, I know what I said
earlier. How I didn’t want a boyfriend and all….”
I still didn’t like the word. The two components of it translated to a
male child and a platonic relationship. This was not at all the type of image
I wanted her to have of me. “I prefer mate.”
Her smile was hesitant, but it brightened her face. “I think I do too.”
Her wayward gaze finally came to rest on me again. “I was wrong about
needing space. I want to be with you. You have no idea how much I want to
be with you. I was afraid of those feelings and how strong they were, but
now I understand, and… I’m happy with it. With the possibility of us.”
My tentacles jerked against my control, hearing her words and
assuming they meant permission to touch her, but I held them back. She’d
just been with the healer, and I’d been told that she’d worn her body out
since she’d come onto the ship, not eating nor drinking enough to sustain
her and rebuild her strength. Instead, she’d spent that time with me, dealing
with my aggressive push to be her mate. Whether she thought she needed
the time to make this decision or not, I knew she did, and I had to give it to
her. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I want to be your mate more than
anything.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Why do I think there is a ‘but’ on the end of that
statement?”
 I sighed, expelling the breath in my lungs as I searched for the right
words to explain. “I want you to be well, Joanie. I could not bear it if you
fell ill again because I was keeping you from taking proper care of
yourself.”
She shook her head, stepping closer to me. “Okay, I’ve been a little
bit neglectful of my body, lately, but I’m going to do better with that. That
doesn’t mean we can’t do this.” She gestured between us with one hand.
She was so close that I could hold her in my arms. I’d had to push my
tentacles behind and underneath me so that they wouldn’t curl around her
boots, tempted then to slide up her legs and find the blazing heat that called
to them from the folds of flesh between her legs. My mating tentacle was so
stiff now that I had hidden it from her view, fearing that it would scare her
off if she saw how little control I had over my body. “I do not want to rush
you.”
She stood on her toes, lifting her hands to curl around my neck,
pulling me down to press her lips to mine.
My tentacles bucked against my mental control, surging and roiling to
be free from me so that they could coil around her and touch her with all the
desire I felt when her soft lips touched mine. I jerked out of her hold and
backed towards the pool, forcing my lower body into the water to cool it
off. “No! I will not rush this for you. We have time for you to heal. I must
rest now. The prime commander came by earlier to talk about what
happened, and he will return soon.”
There was hurt in her eyes, and I knew I’d put it there, but I’d had no
choice. She still wasn’t making good decisions and neither was I, but I was
trying, for both of our sakes. After a long moment of silence, she lowered
her hands, using one to rub at her forehead. “What did he have to say?” She
gasped and suddenly looked at me with concern. “Please tell me he didn’t
blame you for what happened?” She lifted a finger to touch the
communications button on her translator. “I’ll set him straight right now.”
I shook my head, lowering the rest of my body into the pool and away
from her temptation, sinking below the water until only my head remained
above it. “They have mechanical eyes in this hold. He has seen that I did
not harm you.”
The color that flushed her cheeks deepened. “They can see everything
that goes on in this hold?”
 I remembered the beauty of her naked body as she’d stood by my
pool, baring herself to me, and I was angry at the fact that anyone but me
had been able to witness that, but we were only guests on this ship. All the
more reason to wait until we had true privacy. “He apologized for how
they’d been treating me, and claimed that he had been mistaken in viewing
me as a threat. He has asked for my assistance in various tasks around the
ship that the crew struggles with.” I would have lifted a tentacle to show
her, but didn’t dare give it that much freedom around her. “I can get into
places that their people cannot.”
Joanie crossed her arms beneath the gentle swell of her breasts,
plumping them up in a most distracting way that made it even more difficult
for me to concentrate on her words. “So, he admits that he insulted you by
his treatment, and then wants to make you do grunt work?”
I smiled at her, wanting to reassure her with my demeanor as much as
my words about how happy I was to have the opportunity to explore the
ship with the commander’s permission. “It was an honor to be asked, and a
sign of trust that he extended to me. I look forward to the tasks, and what I
can learn from them. He has promised that the crewmembers I’ll be
assisting will explain the parts of the ship that are not classified.”
A flash of disappointment crossed her face, before she nodded and
forced a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s great news, Nemon! I’m
really happy that they’re finally treating you right, and that you’ll get to
explore the ship and do some things you want to do.”
“But something is wrong, Joanie?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. You’re right. We need to take
things slower. Now that you’ll be busy, this will give us the opportunity to
get our heads on straight about… us.” She lifted her hand in a small wave.
“I’d better go and leave you to rest. I want you to be fresh for your first day
on the job.” She winked at me, though her smile was sad. “Don’t you dare
let them underpay you or deny you your lunch hour.” Then she turned on
her heel and headed to the door.
I watched her leave even though my entire body threatened to rebel
against that one tiny part of me that was trying to be strong. Beneath the
water, my tentacles churned with agitation, causing it to foam up around me
on the surface. I’ve never experienced a pain more real and agonizing than
forcing myself to let Joanie walk away. The only thing that kept me from
surging out of the water to pull her back and never let her go, was the
knowledge that this wasn’t an ending to our relationship, but a chance for a
new beginning—one that gave Joanie the time she needed.
 Chapter 21

NEMON

The closer we came to the space station, the more I saw of the
commander, Tirel—particularly as I carried out the duties he’d given me.
True to his word, his crew explained a great deal to me, and I learned a
great deal more on my own. More than they would appreciate, I was
certain, but I did not let on to that.
Thrax and Tirel had also taken to including me in their meetings,
which I found fascinating, but which also made it difficult to spend time
with my mate. Of course, that was probably a good thing, since it was
almost impossible for me to be alone with her and not want to hold her, and
treat her like my mate, but I had sworn that I would keep my distance until
she felt ready. Even when she’d tried to insist—several times in the last
week—that she was more than ready—and even threatened that her dreams
were going to melt the sheets on her bed—I didn’t believe her.
She had put some more weight on, and her curves had grown softer
and more rounded, which I truly appreciated, though I had always thought
her beautiful. Only now she didn’t seem as fragile and close to breaking. It
pleased me to see that she was taking better care of herself, though I made
certain she always had something to eat, and something nutritious for her to
drink when she made her visits to my hold. I wanted to feed her myself,
allowing her warm, soft lips to close around my flesh as she took the food
into her mouth, but knew that would be a recipe for disaster, so contented
myself with simply watching her eat to be certain she took enough food.
To help me deal with the desire that was brutally strong and constant
whenever she was around—and many times when she wasn’t, though my
dreams conjured her up in my mind—I made certain we were never alone
together for long. I couldn’t control my body for long periods by myself,
but it was easier when someone else was there—usually Tirel or Thrax, and
sometimes even Claire, who tended to monopolize Joanie’s attention with
conversation that she referred to as “girl talk.” When they were around,
Joanie was safe from my attentions.
 I hoped that we’d managed to hide the growing tension between us
from the others, but I believed that Thrax suspected something was
happening, though he never openly pried into my business, which was
something I could appreciate about him. He’d become more like a friend
than an uncertain ally in the days of travel towards the space station, and I
found that I enjoyed speaking with him. Our predatory backgrounds made
us similar in some ways, though we had taken to our new lives differently.
Still, Thrax was mellowing, thanks to his mate.
Tirel was another unexpected growing friendship. The commander
was far more civilized than Thrax, and engaged my curiosity about his
civilization not only with answers to my many questions, but also with
additional information provided by something called the GalactaNet, which
I sank into like it was an unexplored ocean—cautiously, but with
excitement.
Tirel gratefully acknowledged my assistance with the tasks he’d
assigned for me. They had been minor issues, mostly dealing with the
climate control systems and tight tubular spaces that my tentacles could
easily reach, but they’d taught me a great deal from performing them, and
discussing the ship with the crew. The Akrellians were so pleased with my
assistance that they had extended me an offer to settle on one of their
colony worlds. One with wild, untamed oceans filled with dangerous
creatures. They felt that I could be useful to their exploration teams, and I
liked the idea of being useful, and of exploring.
Thrax had mentioned his desire to settle on that world as well,
though he would go where his mate chose to go, even if it meant finding a
way to return with her to her homeworld. Since Earth had plenty of oceans,
I was just as determined that I would follow Joanie there if that was her
wish. She’d mentioned that their governments were likely to capture and
experiment on any alien they found, but I was very good at not being found.
Now that the Akrellians had extended their trust to me, they allowed
me to access more of the ship, and I’d taken to exploring it whenever Joanie
was otherwise occupied. I poked my tentacles into everything, touching,
tasting, feeling, until I began to understand how things worked. I no longer
felt the need to hide my curiosity or my understanding, though the
Akrellians were still surprised when I’d repaired a broken climate actuator
after noticing that it was non-functioning.
 Tinkering with things helped occupy me and distracted me from my
frustration at the pace that I had chosen to enforce in my mating with
Joanie. Though my feelings for her were so much more than the desire that
coursed through my body whenever I thought of her, it was still an
undeniable urge, and I still could not come into any kind of physical contact
with her without losing control. She said she wanted that, but could I really
believe it? I needed to be sure, yet my resolve grew weaker every time I
saw her.
I almost managed to hold out until we reached the space station I
still would not be permitted to explore, which Tirel explained was for my
own safety as much as for the crowds on the station. I chose to believe he
meant that, but that didn’t mean I would heed his words. I wanted to see the
station, and I intended to.
But until we docked in port, I had other plans that I could no longer
resist carrying out. I had learned how to disable the machine eyes in the
hold by hacking into one of the panels near the door, and after a discussion
with Tirel—who was not pleased by this—it was agreed that I would not
disable any more of his ship, and he would no longer feel the need to
constantly spy on me. Once I knew that Joanie and I would no longer be
exposed to the watching eyes of the Akrellians, what little remained of my
resolve crumbled. This time, if Joanie wanted to take our mating further,
then I would eagerly agree with her.
Just a day prior to docking at the station, Joanie contacted me on my
translator, asking if I was alone, and for once, I could answer in the
positive.
“I’ll be down there in a moment,” she’d said, her voice breathless in
a way that made my hearts beat in anticipation.
It took far longer than a moment for her to enter the wet-hold, and
the entire time, I’d spent worrying that someone else would show up before
she got there. After all, I’d purposely turned the hold into a busy place to
avoid being alone with my mate, but now I wanted nothing more than for
people to stay away.
As soon as she passed through the door and it slid shut behind her, I
pried open the panel that I’d been working on loosening whenever I was
bored. I readjusted several circuits to bypass the biometric scanner and the
local override switch, so that the door would not open again unless I fixed
it. I shouldn’t have hacked into the ship’s functions like this—again—but I
didn’t want the risk of interruptions. Not now that I could barely think
straight because of my need.
She watched me flip the cover back over the circuits, her brows
pulled together, forming a little crease that I wanted to smooth away. I
pulled back the stray tentacle that tried to do just that before it touched her
face.
“You probably shouldn’t break their ship.”
I shrugged as I released the panel and turned all of my attention
back to her. “I can fix it later.”
“Are you sure you won’t get in trouble?” She twisted her hands
together as her eyes met mine, and I suspected that her nervousness was due
more to what was about to happen than whether I would be reprimanded for
what I’d done. “I don’t want them to treat you with mistrust like they did in
the beginning.”
I wasn’t worried about it at that point. All I wanted was to spend
some time with my mate without the risk of interruptions. I coiled my
tentacles around her ankles, trailing them higher up her legs. “It will be
fine.”
Her breath caught as the tip of my tentacles brushed the skin of her
inner thighs. “So, you’re finally going to touch me?”
I didn’t bother to answer her question with words. My tentacles
were already free to answer, and they weren’t sending mixed messages.
“You never did get a chance to swim in my pool, Joanie.”
She shivered, and a quick brush of my tentacle over her sex told me
that she was wet with arousal. A small moan escaped her parted lips as I
brushed over her again, tracing the slit of her opening over the fabric of her
jumpsuit.
“I couldn’t get my hands on a bathing suit,” she said between quick,
shallow breaths. Noting the way her chest heaved, I curled another tentacle
around one of the fleshy globes, enjoying the soft give of it beneath my
cups, wishing I could feel her skin as I dragged my cups over the firm bead
of flesh in the center of it. The way her body shuddered and her thighs
tightened around the tentacles between her legs made me realize that it was
a sensitive area that heightened her arousal.
 I lowered my upper body so that my face was close to hers,
breathing in the air that she expelled, as my own heavy breaths caused her
curls to flutter against her flushed cheeks. “You don’t need a bathing suit.” I
didn’t even know what that was, and didn’t care. It sounded like more
fabric that would keep me from touching her skin and seeing her beautiful
body. I didn’t want her to wear it, when she could just as easily slip into the
water naked.
“Mmm,” she wet her lips with the tip of her pink tongue as my
tentacles plucked at the seam that kept her jumpsuit closed. It began to
separate, pulling away from her body to reveal her soft skin to my hungry
eyes.
“Make love to me, Joanie.”
Her eyelids fluttered closed, her lashes brushing her pale skin as she
squeezed them tightly shut. She swallowed. “I… I want to, so badly. But I
want this to be love.”
I paused in my teasing of her body, my tentacles stilling against her
skin. We’d discussed imprinting in the rare moments that we’d been
together alone, and Joanie was concerned about it, fearing almost as my
father had—that it enslaved a person, and that it wasn’t real love. She didn’t
want to believe that what I felt for her was truly loving her. “I don’t believe
like my father did, Joanie. He thought that love meant enslavement, but I
don’t feel that way about you at all. If this is imprinting, then I am grateful
for it. I’ve never been happier in all my memories than the time I spend
with you. I wasn’t enslaved by love, I was freed by it.”
She shook her head, refusing to open her eyes and face me with her
doubts. “But imprinting isn’t the same thing as love. It’s a biological
process based on pheromones and body chemicals. Nothing more.”
“Who told you that?”
Her eyelids opened, her gaze finally meeting mine so that I could
see her worry and doubt. “I read it on the GalactaNet.”
“And you believed that?” My tentacles loosened from around her
legs, pulling away from that damp heat I craved so much that it was a battle
to retreat from it. Instead, I lifted my hands to cup her face, wanting her
focus to be on mine. “My father said that even the Iriduans don’t understand
imprinting. They’ve studied it for generation upon generation. They have
yet to crack its mysteries, but what I do know—what he knew—was that it
is much more than a physical desire. Something within an Iriduan male
causes him to recognize the one female who was meant for him as soon as
he sees her, and her image, her perfection, entwines with his spirit, so that
he can never forget her.” I stroked her soft skin, brushing my sensory-dulled
fingers over her warm cheeks, wishing I could use my tentacles instead, but
they were feeling rebellious, wanting to return to her body to finish their
exploration.
“I read about imprinting on the GalactaNet too, Joanie. Perhaps you
didn’t see the article that I did. It was written by a mated Iriduan male. He
spoke of the perfection of his mate. Of how she made him want to be a
better person, and how each aspect of her spirit complemented his. Like all
Iriduans, he’d been raised to fear imprinting, and to resent females and view
them as threats to his free will. But once he was mated, he realized that he
hadn’t lost his free will at all, and he’d gained something even greater—the
ability to bond with another person and know that she was the other half of
him that he’d been missing his entire life.” I brushed a thumb across her
soft, plump lips, looking forward to the moment when I could touch them
with mine again. I’d dreamed about that one brief contact when she’d
kissed me before, and I had pulled away. “How do humans define love?”
She sighed, her breath warm against the skin of my thumb. The
depths of her eyes were still filled with concern, and I felt like there was
something she wasn’t telling me, but I wouldn’t rush her. She’d trusted me
with some of her darkest memories. If she needed to talk, I would be there
for her, but I would not push her. “Pretty much like that. It just doesn’t
happen so quickly for us.” Her lips pulled into a frown. “And sometimes,
we get it wrong. Like with Michael.”
I pressed my thumb gently against her lips, not liking to hear that
creature’s name pass them. Never again would I let her experience the pain
he had put her through. He had failed her. Failed to be the kind of mate she
deserved. He certainly didn’t deserve any place in her memories, but I knew
she could not release the bad ones simply by wishing it. She’d told me
about how her past was a place of sorrow and joy, woven so tightly together
that one grief-stricken moment could not be separated from another
moment of happiness. “I love you, Joanie.”
She stared into my eyes, and I could see the doubt crowding behind
hers—the terrible words that her mind always spoke to her eating away at
her confidence in the certainty of my tone.
“Let me make love to you. Let me show you how I will cherish you
and worship you. I swear to you, there is no one in this galaxy who could
love you more than I do.” My tentacles surged back to her body, encircling
her thighs, her waist, her arms. They wanted to hold her and feel her, but
nowhere near as much as I needed her to understand and accept my words.
She closed her eyes again and nodded. “Yes.”
I didn’t need any more encouragement than that. My tentacles
pulled her jumpsuit away from her upper body, peeling it off her arms, even
as my cups stroked over her skin, which pebbled in tiny little bumps she
called “goosebumps.”
One tentacle returned to curl around her breast, and I was fascinated
by the curve of it, the softness, and the gentle weight of it as it swelled
against my cups. The beaded point that I had felt earlier—that had given her
pleasure when I’d touched it—was dark pink against her pale skin. I
plucked at it with one of my cups and her entire body jerked in response,
her eyes snapping open.
Her pupils were large over the brown irises with their green flecks.
“It feels like you are sucking on it.” She moaned as I plucked on it again.
When I ran a tentacle between her legs, it came away wet, my cups
filled with her taste and heady fragrance of arousal.
I encircled the other bared globe, plucking at that beaded tip as well,
marveling at the taste and texture of her skin—so different from mine, but
so perfect for me.
Tentacles, finally freed to do as they demanded, tugged her jumpsuit
past her waist, then down below the juncture of her thighs, where her sex
glistened, wet and waiting for their exploration.
I wanted to look at that view, to drink it in, as I was finally able to
now that she had accepted me, but I was too transfixed by her face—the
wonder and pleasure that played across it as I touched her, exploring her
body to my content.
Her lips parted on a sigh—her eyelids lowering until I could barely
see the gleam of her irises behind them—when my tentacle returned to that
place between her legs, finally rubbing against the sensitive flesh there. My
cups tasted, gently tugging as they explored the springy hair that covered
her pelvis. When they encountered a small pearl of flesh hidden within the
folds of skin above her warm entrance, they closed over it, pulling it deep
into each cup that passed over it.
Her reaction was nearly enough to destroy what little control I had
left. She shuddered in my grasp, grabbing my forearms with a desperate
grip to steady herself, as if I would ever allow her to fall. Hard, quick gasps
escaped her parted lips with each tug of my cups on that part of her sex. The
tentacle around her waist tightened enough to hold her still as her hips
thrust against the tentacle between her legs. Her gasps turned to moans, and
then short little screams as her nails dug into my arms.
“Oh, god, I’m gonna come!” She gripped my arms, holding on as if
she were about to plummet into some deep chasm.
I lifted her up enough for several tentacles to drag the jumpsuit off
her body, casting it to the side as I allowed them all to move over her naked
skin. She writhed in my hold as my tentacles explored her body, drinking in
the beauty of it, the perfection of each curve and line, each curled hair that
rasped under their cups.
I wrapped two tentacles around her ankles, spreading her legs
farther so that the one that was driving her to distraction could slide through
the moisture that made her sheath slick. My mating tentacle—already
stiffened—trailed up the soft skin of her inner thigh, my other tentacle
shifting to make way for it, while still tugging on the flesh just above her
opening.
Probing my stiffened tip into her damp folds nearly caused me to
lose the threads of seed that I had spun for her before it was even inside her.
Her taste was incomparable, and I neared sensory overload from that alone.
She whimpered as I parted her folds with my engorged tip. I froze,
staring at her face for a sign that she wanted me to stop. Her eyes fluttered
open when all my tentacles stopped moving. “Oh, please, don’t stop! I’m so
close!”
That was all that I needed to hear. My tentacle slipped inside her
warm passage, its tight heat closing around me in a sensation that I had no
parallel for. Mating with a life-weaver had been nothing like this. Nothing
in my life had ever felt this good. I delved into her depths as her fingers
clawed at my arms and her moans and whimpers grew more frantic.
This time, I had no doubts about the sounds she was making,
especially since she whispered the words, “deeper,” and “more,” as I
plunged my tentacle into her. When her body arched in my hold—the curve
of her back deepening sharply as she threw her head back—her curls
bounced against the tentacle that held her by the waist. I felt her internal
muscles clenching around me, pulsing like a rapid heartbeat. Her voice was
like the siren’s call, a song of ecstasy that lured the unwary to their doom.
I was already lost. If this was my doom, then I welcomed it.
 Chapter 22

JOANIE

I’d never had an orgasm as powerful as the one Nemon gave me. I
sagged in his tentacles, shaken by the strength of the pleasure I’d just
experienced. I felt his mating tentacle still hard inside me, and my body still
clenched around it, as if loath to release it.
My hips swayed as he thrust it into me, though a quick glance
between my legs showed that I had not taken much of its length. He was
careful, and for that I was grateful, because as good as he felt inside me, I
doubted I’d have had the sense to stop him before he plunged too deep.
My first orgasm had only been the prelude, and I already felt
another one building, since his cups were still tugging at my clit and nipples
like little sucking kisses. His tentacles coiled around my body, creeping
across my skin, leaving little marks in their wake. It was an indescribable
feeling that was so erotic that I couldn’t speak, beyond begging him in
barely coherent words not to stop.
I wanted to touch his body, but I felt too unbalanced to release my
death grip on his arms. I wasn’t afraid that he’d drop me, but my feet
weren’t even touching the floor. It was disorienting to be suspended while
being penetrated and pleasured in so thorough a fashion that sometimes I
forgot to breathe until I had to gasp in ecstasy.
I climaxed a second time, my clit hypersensitive as he sucked on it
with his cups. It was only after that peak passed that I felt steady enough to
run my hands up his arms to his hard, muscled shoulders.
He pulled me closer into his body so that my chest was against his.
Only his tentacles still playing with my nipples remained between us. The
skin of his upper body was not as textured as the flesh that covered his
tentacles. It was almost like silk, it was so smooth, the only hair on his body
being on his head, lashes, and eyebrows. I clutched him with one hand,
while rubbing my other hand over his chest, leaning forward to kiss the
strong column of his neck.
 He lifted my chin with one webbed hand and lowered his head so
that his lips touched mine.
I realized that he didn’t know how to kiss as he held his lips there,
but he must have remembered my attempt to kiss him before he pulled
away from me.
I tilted my head, my lips parting on a moan as his tentacle continued
to move inside me. I coaxed his lips to soften with mine, moving them over
his slowly and deliberately, trying to maintain focus even as his tentacles
plundered my body.
He mimicked my movements until his lips were playing with mine,
our breath mingling in a way that was even more intimate than his tentacle
inside me. This part of him was the vulnerable part. This was where he
could be wounded permanently.
I buried my hands in his silky hair, deepening our kiss. My tongue
trailed along his lips, and as soon as they parted, I slipped my tongue inside
his mouth, only hesitating for a moment as it passed his sharp teeth.
His flavor thrilled my taste buds. It was sweet, but complex, like a
fine wine—the kind of drink I’d never really been able to afford. I drank to
my heart’s content now, enjoying every last sip of him.
Our bodies entangled in a way that wasn’t humanly possible, and
Nemon did things to me that I could never have experienced if I hadn’t been
taken from my home and my life back on Earth. Claire had been right.
Nothing that had happened to us was normal. And for the first time, I truly
appreciated that fact.
When Nemon climaxed, I drank in his cries of pleasure as his
mating tentacle tensed inside me, then pulsed as it released its seed. He
didn’t immediately pull away from me, or withdraw his softening tentacle
from my body, as Michael might have done, his mind already on the
football game he wanted to watch, or the briefing he wanted to review.
Instead, Nemon’s tentacles changed their stimulating touches to
soothing ones, stroking and massaging my body as if he truly did cherish
me. He curled me into the nest of them as he lowered us both to the ground.
“You know, we never did go swimming,” I said against his lips
when he broke our kiss.
“I never would have made it to the water without touching you.” His
eyes searched my face. “And once I touched you, I wasn’t going to be able
to stop.”
I smiled, sated in a way I’d never experienced in my life as I
glanced at the broken door. “You know, we are literally right next to the
door. You think they’re recording us on their security cameras?”
A slow smile tilted his lips. “They are no longer recording this
hold.”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Are you sure of that?”
He touched my face with his fingers, tracing my features as if he
was fascinated by them. “I strongly objected to their mechanical eyes, and
the commander took that into consideration, giving his word that I would no
longer be under surveillance.”
“Did you break their ship, Nemon?”
His smile spread into a toothy grin. “I fixed it afterwards.”

*****

His tentacles coiled around and beneath me, suspending my supine

body above the ground as he carried me to the pool. I realized that I’d never
felt safer than I did in that moment, despite the power in his hold and the
potential for it to harm me.
As he moved, he continued to stroke my body, plucking at my skin
with his suction cups, like he was planting tiny kisses all over me. It felt so
good that even though he wasn’t trying to stimulate and arouse me, I
already felt the renewed flush of heat at the juncture of my thighs.
I hoped that the temperature of the pool would cool things off a bit
so that we could talk, because I had a few confessions to make to him
before I jumped back into mind-blowing sex. Still, I was unprepared for the
chill of it as he sank into the water with me, adjusting my position with his
tentacles until I was sitting on one of them with most of my body
submerged, while two more curled around my waist to hold me steady.
As I shivered, more tentacles wrapped around me, and he drew me
closer to his upper body—which was also submerged now—until we were
nearly eye level. “Is it too cold?”
I shook my head, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. “It was
at first, but I’m already adjusting to it. I like swimming pools.” I looked
down at his tentacle around my waist, unable to keep the happy grin off my
face. “Especially this one.”
His answering grin was a sight to behold, and I wondered when his
sharp teeth had stopped disturbing me, then had to ask myself if they ever
really had, or if I’d only felt that they should have. “This pool has never
been more like my home than it is now.”
My smile slipped a bit. There were still things to tell him. Things I
was afraid would wipe that happy smile off his face. But they were things
that needed to be said, and I couldn’t allow the tentacle that was slowly and
leisurely stroking my inner thighs under the water to distract me from the
conversation we needed to have. “There’s something I have to tell you,
Nemon, and I’m not sure how.”
Already, his smile faltered, as if he could tell just by my tone that
something was wrong. He brushed the curls away from my cheek with one
webbed hand, his alien gaze fixed on my face. “I will always listen to
whatever you have to say.”
I looked away from him, studying the beautiful artistry of the setting
around us. It was difficult to believe that this place was nothing but a “hold”
to the Akrellians. I now knew that they transported aquatic specimens quite
frequently to and from colony worlds, so I understood why they had holds
like this even in their warships, but the functional purpose of the place had
been turned into something beautiful for them to enjoy as they did with all
the things that they created. Still, my surroundings were not enough of a
distraction from what I needed to say. I just couldn’t face him when I said
it. “It’s about this imprinting thing.”
His tentacle, which had moved from my thigh up a little higher to
brush at my mound, stilled instantly as his upper body tensed. “I don’t
know how many times I need to tell you that I love you, Joanie, but I will
say it every other sentence if you need me to. It isn’t because of the
imprinting that I feel this way. It’s because of how amazing you are.”
I laughed without feeling much humor. “I appreciate that, though I
won’t make you keep repeating yourself. I like to hear that you love me,
and that you think I’m amazing, but my concerns about imprinting have to
do with me imprinting on you, not the other way around.”
His brows puckered in a confused frown. “I don’t understand.”
 I sucked in a deep breath, hoping it was enough air to get the words
out. “The Iriduans… when they were experimenting on me, they did
something to me. They spliced some of their DNA into mine. I think… I’m
worried that they made it so that I would imprint on someone, just like their
males do.”
I’d expected him to pull away from me as the implications of my
words set in. I worried that he would question my love for him, and whether
it was as real as his love for me. I shouldn’t have underestimated him.
Instead of doing any of that, he pulled me in closer to his body, his tentacles
wrapping around my wrists to guide my hands to the two hearts that beat
steadily in his chest. As I settled my palms over them, he tucked my head
under his chin, stroking his fingers through my curls. “Is this what has
brought such sadness to your eyes?” I felt his heartbeats pulse under my
palms as he soothed me. “Are you disappointed in the mate your imprinting
has chosen?”
I turned my head to press my lips to his chest. “No! Never! I know
that I would have fallen in love with you anyway, Nemon. It’s just that—”
“You love me?” His voice, filled with happiness, cut off my words as
I realized that I had not yet told him how I felt. I lifted my head to look up
at his face. “I love you. The way humans love, and maybe even the way
Iriduans love.”
He cradled my face between his hands, his gaze studying my features
intently as if he were trying to memorize them. “There has never been a
moment in my life more perfect than this one, Joanie. I do not care what
fate or physiology brought you to me. Knowing that you love me, and that
you have accepted me, means more than anything else ever could.”
Our lips met, opening as they came together so that our tongues could
dance as our breath mingled. I’d been kissed many times before, from
passionate to perfunctory, but I’d never been kissed like this. It was as if we
breathed as one, our heartbeats syncing as we embraced.
I didn’t break his kiss when his tentacles began to move over my
body with earnest intent beneath the water, warming up my skin, which had
started to grow cool from the temperature of the water. Like small, suckling
mouths, his suction cups tasted me, leaving a delicious stimulation in their
wake as they curled over my skin.
 Two tentacles latched on to my nipples, as the one that had been
playing around my thighs sought out my clit, plucking it like a fine
instrument until I was gasping into his mouth as his lips and tongue
continued to plunder mine.
More tentacles curled around my ankles, gently pulling them apart to
make room for his mating tentacle, which sought my heat in the cool water.
It stroked over my exposed sheath, the cups exploring my entrance before
the stiff head of it slowly penetrated, sinking inside me inch by inch until I
felt so full that I feared I wouldn’t be able to take any more of him. There
was plenty more of him to take, but there were limits to what I could
handle, and Nemon seemed to sense them, not pushing too deep before he
pulled slightly out, then thrust back inside me again.
Suction cups kissed my trembling inner thighs, adding to the
sensations of the cups tugging on my nipples and clit, and more stroked
over my abdomen, and curled around my breasts, gently massaging the
sensitive mounds.
No part of my body escaped his attention, his tentacles even prodding
at the tight hole behind where his mating tentacle pumped inside me. I
shivered as he explored that forbidden region, not making any move to stop
him until he pressed too deeply inside. He stopped as soon as he felt me
tense and I murmured a protest against his lips. The probing tentacle moved
away to trail light suction kisses up my back instead. Perhaps someday—
with a lot of lube—I would consider allowing him to go there, but it
wouldn’t be now, when our bodies were still so new to each other. I
appreciated that he didn’t press the issue, and was quick to read my
hesitation for what it was, rather than pulling away from me and getting
offended, or requiring some detailed explanation that would detract from
our passionate embrace.
As the rest of his tentacles explored me while his mating tentacle
thrust inside me, my temperature rose until I was surprised the water around
us wasn’t evaporating into steam. No longer did I feel in the least bit
chilled. In fact, the cool water was soothing against the flushed warmth of
my skin and the almost overwhelming heat of his body embracing mine.
The tentacles playing over my erogenous zones brought me to an
orgasm that caused me to stiffen in his hold as my passage convulsed
around the length of him that was buried inside me. He moaned into my
mouth at the feeling of me squeezing him, and within a few more thrusts,
his mating tentacle pulsed as he expelled his seed deep inside me. Our kiss
went on for a few minutes after he slowly withdrew his tentacle from
between my legs to curl around my thighs, where it settled against my skin,
still providing warmth and support under the water.
When we finally broke apart for air, I stared into his eyes, trying to
find the words to express how incredible being with him like this was.
There was no one like him in the galaxy, and I understood why. He’d been
made for me. No one else could hold me like he did. No one else could
have ever provided the sense of safety and security that I felt in his
embrace. And no one else ever would have looked at me with such wonder
in their eyes as Nemon did. When I saw how he looked at me, I felt like he
was discovering the center of his universe. I knew that I had already
discovered mine.
 Chapter 23

JOANIE

It was difficult to part with him, especially after what had happened
between us. I’d spent the last two weeks in a constant state of arousal and
nervous indecision, and finally, I’d been able to experience what my erotic
dreams had only teased me about. Only my dreams had been nothing
compared to the reality of it.
We hadn’t had much to say after the second time we made love in
his pool, and were content to simply hold each other and explore each
other’s bodies with curious hands, and in his case, many curious tentacles.
Eventually, though, the water temperature grew uncomfortable for me, and I
felt the exhaustion setting in, telling me that it was time to rest. We would
be docking with the Ubaid Space Station soon, and I had an ordeal ahead of
me. One that Nemon would not be there to protect me from.
We were to tell our stories in front of the entire Cosmic Syndicate. I
thought that was madness. Why draw us out into the open, where the
Iriduans might be able to find us, but the prime commander insisted that we
meet the Syndicate and make our testimonies in person. Apparently, many
of the member species did not trust anything they could not witness with
their own eyes or sense with their other various senses. In order for them to
believe us, they had to see us in person. Some of them could apparently tell
if we were lying just by being near us.
The idea of being surrounded by even more aliens would have
terrified me even a few days ago, but as I stood in the elevator waiting for it
to open on my deck, I felt like I could take on the entire galaxy. I felt
incredible. I knew it was probably all the endorphins from our lovemaking,
but I’d never felt this good in any memory I stored in my mind, not even the
ones that I used to avoid dealing with my reality. Not even my best
memories came close to the memory of being with Nemon, making love to
him until we were both trembling with the power of our climaxes.
On our deck, I checked the corridor to make sure none of the other
girls were around before stepping out of the elevator. I knew that they
would be able to tell what I had been up to. I was certain my face was as
bright as a neon sign given how good I felt. I wasn’t ready to discuss what
had happened with anyone yet. It still felt too intimate, too precious to share
it, even with the women who had become my best friends.
I’d been very circumspect about my feelings for Nemon with the
other women, particularly Claire. It wasn’t that I was ashamed about my
love for him—quite the contrary. I wanted to announce it to the galaxy with
a planet-sized megaphone, but before we’d actually made love, I’d been
afraid to speak of what was happening between us, worried that I would
awaken from that beautiful dream, or that something would happen to end
it, and then I would have to explain to them why that burgeoning
relationship had failed. Instead, it was just easier to blow all their inquiries
about me and Nemon off, explaining that we were only friends, when we
were so much more to each other.
Now that we’d truly mated, I felt more secure about what existed
between us, but the intimacy was too much to share, and I knew Tarin—at
the very least—would have questions that would feel too invasive at the
moment.
Claire was more tactful, but I’d seen the questioning looks she’d
given me whenever the subject of Nemon had come up around her. I’m sure
she suspected that something was happening between us, despite my
protests to the contrary. Given that I’d seen a lot of Thrax hanging out with
Nemon lately, she no doubt knew that I couldn’t stay away from Nemon,
but she also had to know that we hadn’t been alone much in that time, and
short of the time we’d spent in the rec room with it locked, there hadn’t
been an opportunity for us to do anything.
On my way to my cabin, I felt the slide of something wet between
my legs that compelled me to detour to the bathroom for a shower. I figured
at some point, his seed would leak out, but I wasn’t expecting the sight that
greeted me when I shrugged out of my jumpsuit and kicked it aside as I
prepared to step into the shower.
A couple of long whitish-yellow strings slid out from between my
legs once the fabric was no longer pushing them against my skin. I froze at
the sight, my heart pounding. Then I quickly glanced over my shoulder at
the door before stepping inside the shower, activating the opacity on the
clear door that kept the water from spraying everywhere.
 Once hidden from anyone who might walk in, I cautiously touched
one of the strings, wincing as I pulled it from my body, though it didn’t
cause any pain. It was slightly squishy—like overcooked pasta, and was
about as thick as spaghetti—and I didn’t think I would ever eat spaghetti
again after my mind made that comparison. Where my fingers pinched it, it
broke open, spilling a translucent fluid onto my skin that glittered as if there
were tiny lights inside it.
“Gross,” I muttered, then shook my head at my own squeamishness.
I had just had sex with an alien. I shouldn’t have expected things to be
normal in the semen department.
It would definitely take some getting used to, the fact that I had
semen strings coming out of my body, but now something Nemon had said
to me about his species—before he was changed—made sense. He’d
referred once to the females of his kind, calling them life-weavers, and
saying that the males spun “seed threads” so that the females could weave
new life from them. It was an almost poetic description that was a little bit
less charming in reality.
I took some comfort in the differences between us though. In my
previous marriage, I had wanted nothing but to get pregnant and carry a
healthy baby to term. Now, I was grateful that Nemon and I would not be
compatible genetically. There was no way someone as alien as he was could
possibly procreate with a human, much less one whose chromosome
abnormality made only a small percentage of my eggs genetically viable.
I’d learned enough about genetics during all of my struggles with my own
fertility to understand that even between humans, it was a damned miracle
that the process worked. Between a human and an alien—particularly one
like Nemon—it was a scientific impossibility.
Granted, the Iriduans had taken human females as breeders, but I
assumed that they were planning on splicing DNA, or doing some arcane
type of scientific intervention to make such offspring viable. Without any
scientific help, there was no way it was happening.
Though I still wanted a child, I could not justify bringing a hybrid
into this galaxy simply for my own selfish desire to have a baby who shared
mine and Nemon’s traits. Sure, I had a fantasy about a cute little baby with
tiny tentacles flailing about, but I was realistic enough to understand that
such a child would suffer from the challenges of being a hybrid, and would
be the only one of his or her kind. I couldn’t do that to my child.
That issue was out of my hands, fortunately, because I had to admit
that I might end up being tempted to try and make it happen, even though I
couldn’t handle another miscarriage. My heart had broken every time I’d
lost a baby, each time leaving scars that kept it from fully healing. Until
Nemon.
After removing the seed threads from my body, I finished up my
shower, watching the shimmering seed rinse down the drain, wondering at
the way it sparkled. The strings themselves were kind of gross, but the
liquid inside them had been almost pretty, like translucent glue filled with
very fine glitter.
After I dried off and dressed in a fresh jumpsuit, putting my dirty
one into the laundry chute, which sucked it down into the cleaning machine,
I headed back to my bunk, nearly stumbling in my exhaustion. I hadn’t been
sleeping well lately, my dreams too filled with either lingering nightmares,
or erotic dreams about Nemon, to allow me to get a restful sleep.
Even now, I was nervous about what the next wake cycle would
bring. It would take hours to dock in port, and even after that, Claire had
insisted that we all wait for the delivery of clothing she’d ordered from the
GalactaNet that was waiting for us in port, because as she’d said, we needed
to “dress human, and show the galaxy that we were there to be reckoned
with.”
I smiled at the thought of her picking out and designing all of our
clothes, complaining that she had to do it all online and couldn’t sew them
herself. She’d spent hours creating looks for all of us, and her own look had
been impressive and bold—she called it cybergoth. I thought her look
would suit her perfectly. There was nothing ordinary about Claire.
She’d allowed us to choose more subtle outfits for ourselves, and I’d
selected a very simple dress in a retro style reminiscent of the 1950s. I liked
the look of that era, perhaps because I’d spent so much time dreaming that
my life was like that of the mother in those old black and white television
episodes—sending her kids off to school, kissing her loving husband
goodbye as he went off to work, then taking care of her beautiful, peaceful
home and visiting with her friendly neighbors during the day. It was the
kind of life that had only been a distant dream for me when I was a little
girl, and it had seemed like heaven. Everything had seemed so perfect in
that fantasy television world, when nothing about my life was, in the cold,
gritty reality where I’d grown up.
As I lay on my cot, staring up at the sloped ceiling, I contemplated
what had happened between me and Nemon. There was no going back, but
I’d already known that. I think I knew that from the moment I had
awakened in his alien embrace the very first time and looked into his eyes.
My body—altered as it was by Iriduan DNA—had instantly recognized
him, and it had only been my mind that struggled to catch up. Now that it
had, I was wholly committed to the idea of us being together and making a
life out here in the galaxy.
Thoughts of Earth would always be bittersweet, and one thing I
would regret was not being able to visit my mother’s grave regularly to
place fresh flowers atop it. Perhaps her ex-husband would occasionally
make the journey from Europe to do that for me. I didn’t think he ever
stopped loving her, though he hadn’t been able to live with the problems
that had plagued her—one of which had been me.
Sleep finally claimed me when my roiling thoughts could no longer
fight against sheer exhaustion.
When I awoke, it was only because an announcement was spoken
into my translator that we had docked at port and the human passengers
were requested in the cargo hold.
It took only minutes to jump out of my cot and slip my shoes on,
and then I rushed through my morning routine before heading down to the
cargo hold to meet my friends. I knew what we would be waiting for, and it
felt a bit like Christmas morning.
By the time I got down there, Claire was already digging into a
metal shipping crate, and Theresa was already holding a handful of fabric,
stroking her fingers over the material with a small, distant smile as she
stared down at it.
Tarin stood beside the crate watching Claire pluck items out of it,
and we all made oohing sounds as she withdrew jewelry and shoes.
Once Claire handed me the shirtwaist dress she’d designed for me, I
understood Theresa’s reaction to the fabric in her hands. Mine was a soft,
linen-like material, colored a charcoal gray that seemed to complement the
paleness of my skin, instead of drawing attention to it, but it wasn’t the
color, or the style, or the heels that were ordered to match it that made me
feel so happy to see it. It was the meaning behind it.
For the last two weeks—and the months before that—I’d been a
prisoner, then a guest on an alien ship. I’d worn loose hospital-like gowns,
I’d been stripped naked, humiliated, tortured, then barely clothed again, and
though I’d finally been given plenty of fresh, clean jumpsuits that were
quite comfortable and sleek, they were all the same. Though the Akrellians
loved beauty and art, clothing design was one place where they didn’t spend
much effort, since they apparently didn’t wear much on their homeworld,
and when they did dress up, it was for ceremonial purposes, which were far
too elaborate for functionality. So their uniforms were bland and austere, in
stark contrast to how they approached their other aspects of life.
But even if I had been dressed in fancy costumes or lush alien robes
the entire time I’d been on the Akrellian ship, I would still clutch this
precious dress to me, my heart beating with eagerness to put it on. Because
it was a human design, and I’d feared for so long that I would never take on
that identity again. Being human on Earth meant being part of something
greater than oneself, though I had never recognized that in my previous life
—before I realized that there was an entire galaxy of sentient aliens to
contend with. Being a human in space surrounded by aliens made me feel
adrift, struggling to determine where I fit in.
Nemon helped so much with that, but I still needed this, and now I
understood why Claire had been so adamant that we “dress human” for our
meeting with the syndicate. We were making a statement with our manner
of dress, which would be quite a bit different from what we were going to
see on the station. We were identifying ourselves as human, and owning it
with pride, after the Iriduans had treated us like expendable inferiors.
Once loaded down with all our packages, we headed back up to our
deck to get ready, since the Syndicate hearing would be starting within the
next quarter-spin. From what I understood, that only gave us about four
hours to get ready for the most intimidating meeting we’d ever attended.
Nearly two hours later, by the Akrellian timer, I stared at myself in
the mirror in the dressing area of the deck bathroom. I looked like a
different woman. Claire had ordered some alien device that would steam
and then roll our hair, and had tamed my curls into a sleek hairstyle that
perfectly complemented the dress I wore. The skirt of my dress swung
loose, brushing my bare skin just below my knees, the charcoal shade
deepening my eye color and turn my mousy brown hair into the same
beautiful chestnut color that Nemon always took on when he was near me.
I only wore a touch of the makeup that Claire had ordered, but it
gave me a fresh look, and when the girls were finished with me, they all
stood back and admired their work.
“You look perfect! Like you just stepped out of one of those old
black and white TV sitcoms,” Theresa said, admiring my dress and hair.
“Only you have a lot more color,” Tarin added.
Claire studied me, only half-finished with her own outfit. “I envy
you your complexion, Joanie. I can never get my skin that pale.”
I laughed at that. “Trust me, this is the palest I’ve ever been. In
Vegas, I was always sporting either a tan or a sunburn.”
After a few more complementary remarks, the other women turned
their attention to their own outfits, and I turned mine to Nemon, and how
much I wanted him to see me like this. Sadly, despite how much the
commander now seemed to trust Nemon, he still wouldn’t allow him to
leave the ship while we were in port. His reasoning was sound. Nemon had
a tendency to allow his curiosity to lead him into trouble. Thrax had very
little curiosity about the station, and wouldn’t try to slip away to explore it.
Nemon just might be able to slip away from even a hypervigilant security
detail.
Still, I felt like it was incredibly unfair to deny Nemon the chance to
see the station for himself, when he was so excited about it. I was sure—
well, somewhat certain—that he would remain focused on his security
while still getting to look around.
The commander would not be convinced of that, so Nemon had
been asked to remain in the wet-hold, and I headed down to him, because I
wanted nothing more than to see him again before heading out into the
unknown station, wishing he could be by my side. I also couldn’t wait to get
his reaction when he saw me dressed like this.
My stomach fluttered with nerves as I wondered how he would
respond to me. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was actually
wearing underwear and an undergarment beneath my fitted bodice that
lifted up “the girls” until they were round, plump, and firm instead of
sagging. My silhouette was very feminine, and I felt more beautiful than I
had in ages, even before I was abducted. But would he think I was beautiful
like this? Dressed like a human?
He was already out of his pool, and I could tell that he’d been doing
his version of pacing around the wet-hold, but when I entered, he turned to
me and froze, his alien eyes staring at me as his mouth hung open, his
happy greeting dying on his lips as he took me in.
I walked slowly towards him, but didn’t get very far before his
tentacles surged towards me all at once. Suddenly, they were touching me
everywhere, brushing at the fabric of my dress, the skin that was bared just
below it, the lightly powdered skin of my cheek, and the practically
shellacked roll of my hairstyle. I pulled away from that last questing
tentacle, not wanting to mess up what had taken my friends a while to fix.
“Joanie?” He shook his head. “You look so….”
I did a little spin, causing his tentacles to curl back as my skirt flared
up, revealing more of my legs. “Do you like it?”
He stared wordlessly.
I began to worry. I stood on my toes in my shiny new heels and
waved my hand in his face. “Yoo hoo? Anyone home?”
His distracted stare sharpened a bit. “I’m trying to control myself. It
is not easy. You look so beautiful.” His gaze trailed from my toes to my
hair. “You have always been beautiful to me, and I will always prefer you as
I saw you last sleep cycle, but this….,” a tentacle gestured to me, quivering
a little as he pulled it back away from me, “you are like a light shining upon
the surface of the water, drawing me from the darkest depths to investigate
what manner of treasure could glow so brightly.” His tentacles curled tight
against his body. “I do not want to let you leave this ship, lest others will
see my treasure and try to take her.”
He knew how to make a girl feel complimented. I would give him
that. Well, to be fair, I would give him everything, but I still shook my head
in admonishment when one of his tentacles trailed up my leg and slipped
under the loose fabric of my skirt. “I have to leave soon. We have this
damned meeting to get over with.”
“You seem tense.” He gave me a sharky grin. “We should do
something about that before you go.” His tentacle trailed higher,
encountering the lacy material of my new panties. He froze again for a
moment, before he breathed out on a long sigh, his eyes closing. “You are
here to torture me, aren’t you?” His tentacle traced the lace pattern over my
mound, and then trailed along the edge of the panty, capturing it to pull it to
the side so that a second tentacle that slipped beneath my skirt could play
over my clit, dragging the cups along the sensitive flesh and down to my
moist entrance.
I felt my knees start to buckle as his suction cup began to tug on my
clit. A tentacle wrapped around my waist, supporting me as I sagged with
pleasure. “Don’t mess up my hair,” I gasped between heavy panting as
more tentacles surrounded me, seeking the skin that was left exposed by my
dress.
“I’ll be careful,” he said softly. His tentacles curled around my legs
as he lifted me off the ground and towards his upper body. Beneath my
skirt, they writhed around my inner thighs as one magical tentacle
continued to pulse on my clit. Then I felt the stiffened tip of his mating
tentacle probing at my soaking entrance, delving into the slick folds to
penetrate as deeply as he could.
I cried out in climax as the slide of his mating tentacle inside me set
off the orgasm that his manipulation of my clit had built up.
He kissed me carefully on the lips, mindful of the light coat of gloss
that I’d swiped over them. Then he moaned as his mating tentacle began the
rhythm that would bring us both to a powerful climax.
After his tentacle pumped inside me, releasing the string seed that I
wondered how I should deal with, he lowered me to the floor, where my
heels had fallen earlier, forgotten as he “relaxed” all that tension inside me.
He steadied me on my feet, providing support as I slipped my heels
back on. Then he leaned down to give me another sweet kiss that was just
the merest brush of his lips against mine.
“I’m feeling less tense. I have to admit.” I grinned at him, my
muscles still weak from the pleasure he’d given me.
His answering grin was broad and self-satisfied. “Any time you
need me to help you relax, you let me know.” When his smile faded, it was
replaced by a slight frown. “I really am worried about you out there. I
respect Commander Tirel, but do not like him keeping me from protecting
my mate.”
I sighed. “I’m so sorry, Nemon. I wish you could go too. Believe
me! But the commander is sending a security detail, as well as attending the
meeting himself, and don’t forget Thrax will also be there.”
He nodded. “That is the only reason I am not fighting Tirel openly
on his decree that I remain behind. I trust that Thrax can protect you from
most threats you might face.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “What are you planning, Nemon?”
He shook his head at my expression. “It would be better if you do
not know, so that you can deny you had any foreknowledge later. Just know
that I won’t let my mate be unprotected on the station.”
I twisted my fingers together in front of me, not liking the
implication behind his words. “Nemon, please don’t do anything that will
get you in trouble with the Akrellians. You’ve earned their trust and built a
friendship with the commander. You don’t want to jeopardize that with
impulsive actions.”
He lowered his upper body until we were nearly eye level. “There is
nothing impulsive about wanting to protect you. It is something that is in
my blood, a drive that beats in all three of my hearts. It will always be there,
and so will I.” He kissed me softly before pulling away. “You should head
towards the cargo bay. They will be searching for you soon.”
I stared at him for a long moment with indecision, before finally
sighing. “Be careful, Nemon. I want to protect you, too, you know.”
He grinned at that. “I know, my mate. I will not put myself in danger
unless I have to. They’ll never even know I’m there.”
As crazy as that sounded—given Nemon’s massive size—I almost
believed him.
 Chapter 24

JOANIE

Ubaid space station was a series of torus-shaped station rings

connected by a central tube-like core that held the majority of the
machinery for the rings that spun around it. Each part of the station—each
torus—could be detached and sent off into space individually in the event of
a catastrophic incident in one or more of the station rings.
There were currently five rings, but another was under construction,
and the end knob of the station was where the spaceport was. The station,
from what the Akrellians had told us, was constantly under construction, as
the Syndicate continued to expand its influence across the galaxy. New
rings would be added to the station when needed.
The entire station currently spun at a rate that was similar to Earth’s
rotation on its axis as it orbited around the Ubaid red dwarf star, though
each ring could spin independently as required for resident species in that
part of the station. At the moment, the life support requirements of the bulk
of the resident species on the station were within the same parameters as
humanity required. That similarity of requirements amongst so many
disparate life forms was a curiosity, even for the advanced species that had
studied the galaxy and discovered the inexplicable pattern.
Still, there were always outliers, and some of them would be at the
Syndicate hearing, but I’d heard that those aliens would be in self-contained
bubbles that replicated their home environments while on the station.
At least it was comfortable for us, though it felt a little harder to
walk, as if the gravity was slightly stronger on the station than on the
Akrellian ship, but that could have been my own perception, since it was
difficult for me to take each step further out of the ship that had become my
home—and held the love of my life—and into the huge station.
Once we passed through port security and entered the station proper,
heading towards the largest central torus, the crowds grew less oppressive,
but less people—as alien as they were—meant that we became the focus of
more attention.
 I tried to ignore the stares and craning necks—or whatever some of
the aliens had. It was difficult though, especially since I would have been
staring back, had I not been so worried about what Nemon intended to do. I
didn’t see how he would get through port security to follow us, even if he
could completely blend into his background. Just the crowds alone would
bump into his mass or trip over his tentacles as he tried to move through the
spaceport, but I didn’t think anything would deter my stubborn mate from
following us.
One advantage of my complete focus on worrying about Nemon
was that I didn’t have any attention left to give to the nerves and
anticipation of meeting with the Syndicate, so by the time we made it to the
central torus and were escorted into the Syndicate hearing committee
chamber to give our testimony, I barely faltered as I briefly ran through my
story of what the Iriduans had done to me. Nor did I study the many aliens
that surrounded me on all sides, staring at me as I told that story. Instead, I
fixed my attention on the hovering camera drone in front of me to avoid
having to look at the bewildering array of alien lifeforms that made up the
Syndicate.
Telling my story turned out to be easier than I expected. I’d thought
I would end up crying so hard that I would be unable to finish. Instead, I
spoke of my terror and pain in a monotone, explaining that I did not
understand the purpose of their experiments, only that they tortured me. I
did not mention that I had Iriduan DNA inside me now, but I suspected that
the many security scans we’d gone through had already determined that.
I didn’t react to what I’d revealed to a chamber full of complete—
literally alien—strangers, until I was back in the waiting room we’d been
granted for our audience. It was only then that I allowed myself to break
down, while the ladies comforted me, their eyes haunted by the story I’d
told.
“My god, Joanie! I had no idea what they’d done to you!” Theresa
patted my back soothingly as I struggled against the tears.
Tarin crouched in front of me as I sat cross-legged on the cool tile
floor, feeling crumpled by the weight of the bad memories I’d been forced
to expose to an uncaring audience. “I don’t know how you did it. I would
never have survived what you’ve been through!”
 Claire crouched down at my side, opposite Theresa. “You’re so
much stronger than me, Jo.”
I glanced up, swiping at my tears and certain I was spreading the
mascara into a mess on my face. So much for my fancy makeup. “Look at
me! I’m a weak, quivering, sobbing mess. How is that strong?”
The three women exchanged surprised glances, before Claire met
my eyes. “Are you serious? You can’t be telling me that you think you’re
weak for crying after having to reveal that you’d been tortured for months!”
She put her arm over my shoulder, squeezing me for a brief moment.
“Joanie, I wish I knew the right words to say to you to make you see how
amazing you are. I thought what I had suffered at the hands of the Iriduans
was bad,” she squeezed again, “hell, it was bad!” She gestured to Theresa
and Tarin. “It was bad for all of us, but you, you suffered the most. Hands
down, without question.”
The other women murmured their agreement, patting me on my
back.
“Not that this is a contest or anything,” Claire quickly added. “I
don’t want to minimize what any of us went through by making
comparisons, but good lord, Joanie, you’re entitled to some serious crying
time. How you managed to keep it together as long as you did is beyond
me.”
I smiled through my tears, glancing at each of them in turn. “My
mother always said I didn’t know how to give up. Guess I was determined
that the aliens weren’t going to beat me, no matter how much they knocked
me to the ground.”
The attendant called for Claire next. She would be going out into the
hall with Thrax, who’d had the courtesy to give us this moment of privacy
by waiting just beyond the door when I broke down and started crying after
my testimony. Personally, I wouldn’t have minded his presence. It had a
calming effect on me now. Thrax was as solid as a mountain, no matter
what happened around him. Spending time with him as I hung out with
Nemon—and watching them interact—made me realize that despite what
he looked like, he was a really good guy. I was glad Nemon had him as a
friend.
It seemed that their testimony took the longest, which wasn’t
surprising since they had both encountered the Akrellian prisoners who
were the primary issue of this hearing. Our stories of abduction and
experimentation were minor blips in comparison to that, since both the
Iriduans and the Akrellians were members of the Syndicate and had treaties
and rules that were supposed to keep that kind of thing from happening.
I didn’t understand it all, nor did I care to. As soon as I pulled
myself together, comforted by the assurances of the other women that I
wasn’t being a weak, overly-emotional mess, I returned the full focus of my
attention to worrying about Nemon.
I was nearly frantic with worry by the time our testimony was
complete and we were finally free to leave the committee chamber and
return to Commander Tirel. He waited for us outside the committee
building.
Decision time was upon us. Thrax and Claire were going to remain
together and live on the Akrellian colony world of Hierabodos V. I didn’t
need to hear them tell the commander this to know it was what would
happen. Claire had already discussed it with us, weighing the pros and cons
of pioneer life, and though I wasn’t sure about settling a new colony world,
I would go wherever Nemon went, and Hierabodos V sounded like the
place he was considering, so I was grateful that Claire and Thrax would be
there too.
Tarin hadn’t changed her mind about returning to Earth, though
she’d expressed a great deal of regret that she couldn’t stay out in the
galaxy, experiencing all it had to offer along with us. “It’s going to be so
boring on Earth, now that I know what’s out here!” she’d said. Yet, she had
a family to return home to, and as she’d admitted, she was still getting used
to the whole alien thing, and despite her encouragement of me and Nemon,
she wasn’t quite ready to commit to a non-human for her future mate.
She still had the idea that she would return home and find a nice,
normal human guy to settle down with. I had my doubts, because I’d seen
the way she’d studied the aliens as we walked through the station, and I
didn’t think she’d be content with a normal human guy anymore. Like the
rest of us, Tarin was still reeling from her experiences, trying to find her
footing and deal with all the emotional aspects of her situation, and the
questions and doubts it raised. It was just going to take her longer to come
around, but sadly, according to the commander, she would be on a Lusian
ship heading home by the time she decided she’d rather stay.
 I was surprised that Theresa had asked to go with Tarin on that ship
back to Earth, and I got the distinct impression that Prime Commander Tirel
was equally surprised, or perhaps disappointed. His lips tightened when she
told him she was leaving, only a slight quaver in her tone. His eyes shifted
focus away from her to stare at some point over her shoulder as he nodded
once, his jaw twitching beneath the fine scales that covered it. “If that is
your wish, Madam Theresa. May the Dancer guide your steps.”
Theresa nodded so hard that her sleek bob bounced. Then she turned
her back on Tirel, and I caught just a glimpse of her devastated expression
before she turned to focus on the crowds beyond the ring of our security
guards.
Tirel focused his reptilian eyes on me next, his expression
unreadable, though tension had lifted the spikes on his head until they were
half-erect. When the Akrellian crest was fully raised, they were an
intimidating sight, but their quills often gave away their emotions, even
when their faces did not. Though Theresa had kept her feelings even more
secret than I had for Nemon, it wasn’t difficult to figure out who her
unexpected alien crush had been. What was a mystery was why she’d
decided to return home instead of pursuing a male who obviously returned
the interest.
Perhaps like Tarin, she was hesitant to embrace the idea of taking an
alien mate. I didn’t know, and I felt selfish for being so focused on my own
problems that I hadn’t paid enough attention to my friends to figure it out
before we came to this pass. If I had realized sooner, and knew what the
problem was, perhaps I could have talked Theresa into staying and working
it out with Tirel. Instead, I didn’t even dare bring it up, because it was
clearly a matter they both wanted to keep private.
As for me, my choice had already been made. “I’d like to take you
up on the offer to go to the colony world of Hierabodos V.”
Claire’s grin spread her lips, tightening the piercing under them until
the silver bar stood out straight. “Yes! I knew it.”
Tirel’s slight smile didn’t meet his eyes, but he nodded. “Can I
assume that Master Nemon will also be accepting our offer then?”
I narrowed my eyes. “He’d better.”

*****
 After deciding where our future lay, Theresa and Tarin informed me
in no uncertain terms that we would be heading to the Leisure Ring—a
public area filled with neon holographic advertisements that made me think
of Vegas. Perhaps what Sin City might look like in some distant future.
With Syndicate security looking out for us, the commander was free
to head back to his ship with his detail. Claire had opted to return to the ship
with Thrax, because he didn’t want to seek his leisure, didn’t see the
purpose in it, and was eager to get his mate back in their private cabin.
We’d been guaranteed additional safety under Syndicate Protection
after giving our testimonies, and now anyone who brought harm to us while
on the station would face serious backlash from the Syndicate. Because of
that reassurance, the three of us decided to check out Leisure Ring, though
initially, I resisted the idea. I was eager to return to Nemon and tell him that
I wanted to go wherever he did for our future together. Besides, I was
worried about him. I didn’t know if he’d tried to escape the ship to come
after us, or if he’d realized how bad an idea that was and had stayed put. At
any rate, I should have returned immediately, along with Claire, Thrax, and
the Akrellians, just to let him know that everything had gone well.
But this would probably be the last time I saw Theresa and Tarin,
since they were set up with the Lusian pilot who would take them back
home to Earth the following Ubaid Standard day. They wanted to see the
nightlife in Leisure Ring, and they wanted me to go with them for one last
girl’s night. I couldn’t say no to that. They’d become like my sisters, even
in the short time we’d known each other. Given what we’d been through,
relationships grew quickly. I was going to truly miss them.
We rode a bullet-train-like vehicle through the Core Tube that
connected all of the station rings, and it was surreal to stand on the crowded
transportation, so much like a sleeker version of a subway on Earth,
surrounded by a variety of aliens of all shapes and sizes. Most of the other
aliens paid us little attention, though I didn’t think it was due to lack of
curiosity, so much as the Syndicate security escort that got on the train with
us.
Only two guards, but they were both hulking Ultiman, and
apparently, they weren’t the kind of alien people messed around with. It was
a pity that the guards were taciturn and not inclined to visit with us, but at
least their presence deterred any other aliens from approaching us. As cool
as it was to see so many aliens, it was another thing entirely to be immersed
in the crowd of them. Without Thrax around, we were probably going to
start blending in.
We exited the train at Leisure Ring Station and followed the crowd
to an elevator, where we waited for our guards to scare off any aliens who
tried to join us in the confined space, leaving us alone as we rode it out to
the Leisure Ring.
This ring was always in a night-cycle, but like Vegas, it was the city
that never slept, being obviously an adult playground, complete with
casinos, clubs, restaurants, and the ubiquitous establishments of ill-repute. I
felt the familiar burst of adrenaline as I walked past noisy casinos filled
with aliens honking, hooting, hollering, and making sounds that had no
Earth analogue as they either won—or more often lost—their credits.
Like most Vegas casinos, their casino floors opened right up onto the
walkways outside, so tourists could stroll in out of the crowds and just take
a seat at one of the many machines with their holographic screens
displaying games I’d never seen before. I recognized the way the lights
flickered and the sound of jackpots going off, and my blood pumped faster.
We’d been given over a thousand credits each as a gift from the
Akrellians for playing our role in their complaint to the Syndicate about the
Iriduans. It was a generous gesture, especially since they had fed and
clothed and transported us, but it was nice not to be left penniless once our
job was complete. Theresa and Tarin were determined to spend all their
credits, since they wouldn’t be much use on Earth, but some of the
souvenirs they picked up in the Leisure Ring might be.
As I trailed after my excited friends, who were eagerly anticipating
the coming evening, my gaze swept the dimly lit, crowded thoroughfare
that passed through the many different establishments. If the aliens were
suddenly changed to humans, this thoroughfare could be Las Vegas of the
future, though I couldn’t read any of the signs. In fact, it almost seemed like
a dream of home with an extra-surreal quality to it.
Theresa waved to a casino entrance in front of us that was less
crowded than the others, and we followed her inside, our dour guards on
our heels, eyeing everyone around them as aliens shifted out of their path—
aliens that barely spared us a brief glance with two eyes, or four, or six, or
even eye stalks, before quickly looking away again.
It was difficult to focus on what Theresa and Tarin were saying as
my gaze strayed over the machines, then searched deeper into the casino
where there were tables with strange cubes and spheres floating above
them, surrounded by aliens that were obviously there to place bets. No
matter how different the games, or even the bodies that played them, it
seemed that some things were universal. The fact that gambling was one of
those things didn’t surprise me.
My mouth went dry as I stopped in front of a machine, studying the
three-dimensional holo display that hovered over the console. It was a
simple match-up game, something even a primitive human could easily
comprehend. The demonstration played over and over again as I watched,
and my fingers itched to feed my card of credits into the slot.
“Would you care for a drink?” A smooth, sultry voice speaking
some alien language that my translator understood snapped me out of my
fascination with the machine.
I turned to face the female alien. She was covered in fur, but had
humanoid feminine proportions—quite generous ones—that were on
display in a tight-fitting uniform that barely covered her groin area and left
her long, sinuous tail free beneath the little skirt. She had a short muzzle on
her face, and large ears, but I couldn’t decide if she looked more like a cat, a
bear, or a dog—or none of the above. Her eyes were almost human, though
the golden amber color would be unusual amongst humans. “I don’t
suppose you have margaritas here?”
She glanced at the heavy tray of drinks balanced easily on her arm.
“If you can describe it to me, I will ask our bartender. He can usually
replicate regional favorites.”
That was the tricky part, but what made me hesitate to attempt it
wasn’t the challenge of describing my favorite alcoholic treat, it was the
entire atmosphere around me. I was in a casino. After everything I’d been
through, and all I’d done, I’d wound up right back in a place like this, with
the only money I had left in my pocket, ready to piss it all away on a night
of entertainment, when all I really wanted to do was return to the ship and
curl up with my mate, make love until we were both exhausted, and then lie
awake cuddling while we discussed our future.
 “What the hell am I even doing here?” This wasn’t what I wanted in
my life anymore. Casinos had been my escape from my misery—their
colorful lights and fun, carnival sounds, and the complimentary drinks, had
allowed me to avoid dealing with reality, but in the end, they’d only added
to my misery. Now, I was happy. I’d found meaning in my life. I had
friends, and a mate who was far more important to me than a place like this
could ever be.
The waitress blinked at me. “I’m sorry. Perhaps there was a
translation error.”
I shook my head at her. “No, I’m sorry. I was talking to myself. I’ll
pass on the drink, thank you.”
She nodded, her ears tilting backwards as if she were disappointed.
“Okay, flag me down if you change your mind.” Then she spun on her
shapely legs and sauntered away, her tail swishing behind her.
I dismissed her from my mind and looked around for Theresa and
Tarin. They were standing by a potted plant that looked like nothing on
Earth, unless cotton-candy colored feathers grew on trees somewhere
hidden from nature documentaries.
I started walking over to them, when I noticed that they were
speaking intently, and Theresa had tears running down her cheeks. I sped up
my steps until I reached them.
I put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, Terry, what’s wrong?”
She quickly turned her head away from me, swiping impatiently at
her cheeks. “It’s nothing, okay. I don’t want to talk about it.” She shot a
glare at Tarin, who shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.
I also looked at Tarin, hoping for some explanation. She shrugged.
“You heard the lady. Discussion’s closed.”
Hurt stabbed at me that I’d been left out of the discussion in the first
place. “I see.”
Theresa quickly hugged me. “It’s nothing personal, JoJo. It just…
hurts to keep talking about… him. I just want to forget all about it. I can’t
wait to go home.”
I’d suspected what was causing her tears, but I hadn’t wanted to pry.
She had to make her own decisions, and unlike Tarin, I wasn’t trying to play
matchmaker to the aliens with all my friends. I often thought that Tarin
encouraged everyone around her to date aliens because she herself wanted
to, but was too chicken to give it a go. “If you’re sure that everything’s
okay, Terry, I’ll respect that, but if you need to talk….”
Theresa pulled away from me and shook her head, her gaze
searching the casino. “Hell, I don’t need to talk. I need to drink. A lot!”
Tarin grinned, grabbing Theresa’s arm. “Then let’s not waste time
with waiters. Let’s get to the bar and plant our butts.” She nodded at me.
“You coming, Jo?”
I’d barely heard her words, because as they were talking, I’d spotted
a familiar face in the crowd for only a brief moment before he turned away.
Somehow, Nemon had found us in the casino, and he was watching us until
he caught me staring at him. No doubt he didn’t want the girls to see him,
since he was an escapee from the ship. I knew it was him even though he
wore a hood that shaded the top half of his face, and a clear mask that
covered the lower half. I could still see his lean, aristocratic nose, and his
shapely lips. His features were unmistakable.
“Jo?”
I didn’t want them to know that Nemon was here. Not that they
would necessarily call him out or tell the Akrellians, but still, he wasn’t
supposed to be on the station. There was a possibility one of them might
give him away to the Syndicate security guards who were still watching us
from a respectful distance. “Hey, I’ll join you in a bit, okay. I’m gonna take
a moment to freshen up.” I waved vaguely in the direction where I hoped
there might be a restroom.
Theresa turned in that direction. “I could freshen up too.”
Tarin started walking towards the back of the casino floor, her gaze
searching for the restrooms. “Yeah, I feel fresh, but I’m interested to see
what a bathroom in an alien casino looks like.”
Damn. They took off towards the bathroom, and I allowed my steps
to lag, walking slower and slower until they’d left me behind. Even the
guards were so focused on keeping up with the two women plowing
through the crowds that they didn’t seem to notice that they’d lost one.
I felt guilty about bailing on them, particularly since this was our
last night together, but once I found Nemon and reassured him that I was
fine and would meet him back at the ship as soon as we were done hanging
out, I would find them again, and we could finish out our night.
 I caught sight of Nemon again near the entrance of the casino, just
before two Ultimans lumbered by in front of him, deep in a growling
argument, their perfectly groomed fur braided with energy beads that
provided an impenetrable shield if they were attacked. Like our guards,
these were intimidating creatures. They were one of the most advanced
species in the Syndicate, though humans only knew them as Bigfoot, since
they’d visited our planet pretending to be little more than smelly ape men in
order to study us, while human cryptozoologists searched for proof of their
existence.
When they cleared the path, I saw that Nemon had disappeared, and
I rushed towards where I’d last seen his hooded form. Then I caught sight
of his cloak outside in the crowded thoroughfare. I was impressed that he
managed to move his bulk among the other aliens without bumping anyone
or having his tentacles stepped on, but there were other large aliens out
there, their steps shaking the ground as they passed, so Nemon might not
even be that surprising to people. Plus, based on what I’d seen of him, he
was maintaining his height at just around six feet or so, which wouldn’t
draw any attention from the crowd, where that height seemed to be on the
small side for male aliens. Except for the child-sized aliens that dodged
between legs, or the really tiny aliens that I had to be careful not to step on,
most of the aliens on the station fell within a human adult size range, or ran
much larger.
I wove through the crowd, following Nemon as he passed several
casino entrances and a brothel display window where alien females eyed
him hungrily. I wasn’t able to get a clear view of him because I was too far
behind and there were so many aliens in front of me, but his progress was
somewhat slow and halting, as if it was difficult for him to move quickly,
which wasn’t surprising when he probably had to keep his tentacles curled
tight against him to avoid tripping everyone, instead of under him, which
would make him much taller.
Suddenly, Nemon slipped into the alley beside the shop, and I
rushed after him, dodging around the last group of insectoid aliens that
crawled at a slow pace between me and the alley. I hesitated for only a
moment before I followed into that dimly lit area. Nemon was down there.
He wouldn’t allow anyone to harm me. Not that anyone seemed to be
paying any attention to me.
 I saw his form, shrouded by a shadowy cloak, near some scattered
containers that smelled like rotting garbage. I guessed alleys were pretty
much the same everywhere. Poor Nemon had to be suffering, since his
tentacles could also taste the foul ground around us.
“Nemon!” I called out, so happy to finally see him again, even
though I worried about him being off the ship and potentially getting in
trouble for it.
He froze, and then slowly turned towards me, the light from the
neon sign that spilled from the other exit of the alley sparking off the clear
mask that covered his lower face, but still revealed its features to me. It was
Nemon. But it wasn’t.
I gasped and took a couple of steps backwards, my heart pounding
as I stared at a stranger with my lover’s face.
He held out a hand—one without claws or webbing. “Wait! Please
don’t go.” His voice was low, husky, as if he wasn’t accustomed to using it.
I paused in my retreat, though I knew I should turn and bolt back
towards the safety of the crowds. Still, his voice had sounded pleading, not
threatening. “Who are you?”
He lifted his hands to his hood, pulling it off his head to reveal my
beloved’s face, only with eyes that were definitely those of a stranger. This
version had golden-yellow iridescent skin that shimmered in the muted
light. “My name is Halian. I was once Professor Halian. Nemon is… was…
important to me.”
I took a cautious step closer, staring at his face, noting the similarity
to Nemon’s. It was almost a perfect replica, except for the skin tone and the
eyes. “Oh, my god! You’re Father!”
He smiled beneath the clear mask, and the curve of his lips
reminded me so much of Nemon that I took another step closer to him. “So,
Nemon still calls me that.” He sighed, his breath fogging the mask for a
moment. “I’m so glad to hear that he lives. I’ve been afraid that he would
be caught or killed.”
“He thought you’d been caught or killed.” I narrowed my eyes,
pointing at him in accusation. “You never came back for him like you
promised. He was stuck down there in those warrens with no one to talk to
for years!”
 Halian stared down at the debris-covered ground of the alleyway. “I
am sorry for that. Deeply sorry. I was able to escape before the facility
became aware of my betrayal, but they tracked me down later and captured
me. I have only recently escaped my own imprisonment.” There was a
haunted quality to his tone that I recognized. It appeared that we humans
had not been the only ones tortured by the Iriduans.
“That’s terrible, Halian. I know what it’s like to be a prisoner of the
Iriduans.”
His gaze whipped up to meet mine. “I heard about that. Your
testimony and that of your fellow humans was broadcasted to the station
during the hearing. I apologize for what you’ve suffered.”
We’d known that it was being broadcasted, but it still embarrassed
me to realize that my pain had been exposed to the entire civilized galaxy.
Yet at the same time—because it was out in the open—the Iriduans could
no longer deny what they’d done. They had to own up to the atrocities that
they’d committed.
I didn’t even care about that now, though. There was something
more important to consider. I could give Nemon the perfect gift. I could
return his father to him. “Nemon would love to see you again!” I took
another step closer to Halian, until I was only a few paces away from him.
He seemed so much smaller than Nemon now that I was close, even though
his body was hidden beneath the bulky hooded cloak. I realized that he was
probably pretty slender in comparison to Nemon’s beautifully muscled
frame.
Halian shook his head, his lips quirking up at the corner in a
regretful half-smile. “I could no more approach Nemon near an Akrellian
ship than I could go near my own people now, though I would love to see
him again. You have no idea how much I hoped for a reunion, but Nemon is
out of my reach.” He sighed out another fogging breath into his mask, and I
realized suddenly why he was wearing it.
He was an unmated Iriduan male, at risk of imprinting if he detected
the right pheromone signature that triggered whatever it was that caused
imprinting. Nemon had said that his father had feared such a fate. It was
little wonder he wore a filtering mask to avoid it.
Given the extreme similarity between Nemon and Halian—at least
in their facial features—I wondered if he was at risk of imprinting on me, or
vice versa. I didn’t feel particularly drawn to him. Certainly not how I had
been right in the beginning towards Nemon, but Claire had mentioned that
Ilyan had imprinted on her the moment he had scented her, and he had
provided his DNA to create Thrax, so it was possible that it would work the
same way with Halian.
Now, I wished I had a handy mask like Halian did, but it was too
late for that. If I had imprinted on him, I thought I would feel something,
but I guessed I would have to wait and see what happened when we parted
ways. I prayed that I would be fine, and hoped that the fact that I felt
nothing even approaching my fascination for Nemon when I looked at
Halian was a good sign. I needed to focus on the conversation, because I
was certain that Nemon would want to know every word that his “father”
had to say. “I realize that the Iriduans and the Akrellians are enemies—
particularly now—but maybe there’s some way to convince the commander
to let you at least speak with Nemon. After all, you went against your
people to do what was right in freeing Nemon. That has to count for
something.”
His smile was the saddest I’d ever seen. “I betrayed my people.
Believe me, that counts, but not in a way that would earn any trust or
respect from our enemy.”
I could practically feel his pain, his tone was so distressed. “You did
what was right. You stopped those horrible experiments on Nemon and set
him free. He remembers that, and does not blame you for the pain you
caused him.”
He studied me with eyes that were nearly as gold as his iridescent
skin. “He told you all of that? You must be very special to him.”
I couldn’t keep the sappy smile from showing on my face. “He’s my
mate. He imprinted on me.”
His eyes widened, and then narrowed again as his brows dipped in a
frown. “Imprinted? Nemon? That’s not— explain what you mean, please?”
I realized that he wasn’t happy to hear the news, and then wanted to
smack my forehead for blurting it out like a happy announcement to
someone who clearly viewed imprinting as an affliction to be avoided. “I
realize that your people aren’t happy about imprinting, but Nemon is. I
swear it. And I am as devoted to him as he is to me.” I bit my lip, hesitating
as I wondered whether I should reveal everything to this stranger, but then I
decided to tell him the truth. It was clear that he still cared about Nemon’s
happiness, and he had sacrificed so much to set Nemon free. I wanted him
to know that Nemon had not been enslaved to an uncaring woman. “The
Iriduans did something to me so that I imprinted on Nemon as well.”
Again his eyes widened, and they remained that way as he stared at
me. His lips parted, though no words came out.
“I will take care of Nemon, and love him more than anyone else
ever could. You have my word on that.”
He visibly shook himself, his cloak shifting to reveal his ragged
clothing beneath it, a far cry from the elegant robes I’d seen on the few
Iriduan males who had passed us in the crowds. As a matter of fact, I didn’t
see any sign of Halian’s wings either. “What you’ve told me, it’s not
possible. There is no way to transfer the affliction to a female. We have
tried! By the emperors’ sacred crowns, we have tried for generations, to no
avail!”
I began to feel a sense of doubt at his absolute certainty. I’d been so
sure. Even Lariasa had been convinced that my overreaction to trying to
break things off with Nemon had been because of a possible imprinting, but
surely an Iriduan male would know the most about such things. “I feel so
strongly for him, and I have since I first met him. That’s what made me
think….”
His eyes were sympathetic. “If my people were capable of isolating
the gene that causes imprinting, we would have done so long ago. Your
devotion to Nemon sounds like something else. Perhaps, it is something
particular to your species.” His tone sounded doubtful.
“Then what is this Iriduan DNA doing inside me?”
He shrugged, and then winced at the motion, as if it pained him. “I
cannot say for certain, but I heard your testimony to the Syndicate. It
sounded as if they were testing your immune response against a variety of
biological agents. It’s possible that they spliced immune-specific Iriduan
code into your DNA to use you as a test subject prior to injecting Iriduan
subjects. They would have also been using your blood to create antivenin.”
“That’s monstrous!” I shivered, rubbing my arms.
His sad smile returned. “You’re surprised by that? My people can be
cruel in pursuit of the greater good. Humanity is distantly related to my
kind. We share a common ancestry. Once, your world was an Iriduan
colony, a very long time ago, before we added many of the alterations to
our genetic code, and before your people began to breed with the primitive
sentient apes on your world.” He sighed. “It’s not surprising that my people
view humans as useful test subjects for early trials.”
“Wait.” I held up a hand, trying to process everything he was telling
me. Unlike Claire, I’d never had a conversation with our captors, but she’d
told us what they’d said to her, and Halian was telling a very similar story.
Still, it was so hard to believe that we had once shared ancestry with these
aliens. “So, you think they used me as a test animal for their immune
system experiments?”
He nodded. “As I said, I cannot be certain, but implanting the
modified code into your DNA to boost your own immune system would
allow them to study your response to the modifications and how effective
they were before using them for our own people. It sounds as if it was
successful, based on your survival of the experiments.”
“Why would you call such a thing for the ‘greater good’? There’s
nothing good about what they did to me. No justification for it.”
He looked away from me, studying the trash bins nearby as if there
were secrets hidden within the refuse. “It is easy to make that judgement
when your world is hidden away, forgotten or unknown by those species
that might endanger it. My people are not so fortunate.”
“You freed Nemon, so clearly even you understand that there are
some lines you just don’t cross. No matter what.”
His eyes met mine again. “That is true. There are lines we should
never cross. I wish I could see Nemon again. He was like a son to me.” He
smiled, and this time it wasn’t a sad expression. “He was so incredibly
curious when he awakened in my laboratory. At first, I didn’t realize the
extent of his intelligence, and had plans to increase it to that of a trained
animal, never imagining that it already surpassed that of most sentient
species in the known galaxy.”
I wasn’t that surprised to hear this. Nemon’s understanding of the
Akrellian ship had grown in leaps and bounds just from him exploring on it.
When his curiosity had a purpose, he learned very rapidly, and I imagined
that must have been alarming for the scientists who were experimenting on
him. “I think he’s a genius, but then again, I might be accused of being
biased.”
 Halian laughed. “You would not be the only one, though I do not
believe it is bias, so much as observation that tells us this about him. Still,
he had a childlike quality to him that charmed me, despite his intelligence.
He was always eager to learn, and eager to please. He did not hurt others
out of malice or hostility, and always regretted accidents. There was
innocence in him that I wouldn’t have expected from a predator such as he
was when we captured him on his home world.”
I could only agree with his assessment of Nemon’s character, though
there had been nothing childlike in his exploration and desire to please me.
“He’s sweet, loving, kind… he’s perfect.”
Halian was silent for a long moment, before he nodded, his sad
smile returning. I didn’t know how anyone could make an expression that
was supposed to be happy look so strained and miserable, but he managed
it. “He is all that you say, though it is surprising to hear such emotion for a
male coming from a female. I cannot see Nemon in person, but I would like
to ask you a favor.”
I blinked, trying to catch up in the conversation, since I’d stopped
listening to his words after he’d made the comment about females that had
snagged my curiosity. “Are they really so bad, your females? Do none of
them return your devotion?”
He lifted a hand that clenched into a fist in front of him. “What do
you think, human? Our females have evolved to take advantage of our
malady whenever they can. They do not feel for us as we do for them. It is
rare for one of them to return our slavish devotion.”
I almost pitied the Iriduans, even though I still hated them for what
they’d done to me—although, if Halian could be believed, my love for
Nemon was all my own choice and had nothing to do with Iriduan genetics.
It would explain why I found nothing that drew me about Nemon’s “father,”
despite their genetic similarity. Though I was relieved not to be personally
invested in Halian, I did love Nemon, and knew he would want to hear any
news from this man he’d loved and respected. “What should I tell Nemon
about you?”
He reached into his cloak. “I would like to give him a gift. No doubt
he has lost the last one I gave him, and it was a small thing. I have
something much more precious that he will want.”
 I stepped closer as he drew his hand from his cloak, his slender
fingers curled around a square device with a tubular extension on one end.
There were buttons on the surface, and some of them glowed with light as if
he’d depressed them.
“Is that something like the holographic projector he told me about?
Apparently, he’d accidentally broken it, but it had images of a space station,
and he always wanted another—”
My words were cut off in a yelp of surprise as he pressed the tube to
my hand when I reached for the object. I felt the needle inside the tube
pierce my skin, and then the rapid burn of some fluid pumped into my
bloodstream.
My mouth gaped, and my rapidly beating heart caused the drug to
speed through my system. My hand went numb first, but I was only able to
back away for a couple of steps before my legs gave out under me.
Halian caught me in his embrace as I collapsed, and I noticed that he
winced as his arms went around me to keep me from slumping to the
ground.
“Why?” I whispered through numb lips.
He gave me his sad smile. “Sometimes, we must do things we do
not like, for the greater good.”
 Chapter 25

NEMON

Escaping the ship had been even easier than I’d hoped. Though the
commander usually had tight security, the crew’s attention was currently
focused on the crates they were loading into the hold for the journey to
Hierabodos V. They were checking each one, searching for potential threats
to the ship and crew, and I was able to slip past them, blending into my
background. I extended my camouflaged tentacles to make small sounds
behind some of the guards so that they would look away as I passed.
Once in the port, I had to dodge a large crowd, and things grew
increasingly more difficult, though it did not decrease my determination to
find Joanie and keep an eye on her to protect her. I winced as aliens
stumbled over my tentacles, looking back over their shoulders to find out
what they’d stepped on even as I pulled the camouflaged appendages back
into my body.
It was difficult to remain small enough to blend in with the crowd
while at the same time keeping my body from spreading out in the busy
port. I was not entirely successful at the effort, and soon had more than one
alien searching around them to figure out what they’d bumped into.
I knew that my plan had hit an insurmountable obstacle when I saw
the security scanners at the port exit. There was no way I would be able to
pass through them undetected, unless I disabled them first, and I had to
figure out how to do that.
I trailed a Tapiran security guard for a frustrating couple of hours
before he led me to a locked security room, placing his eye against the
scanner. The door unlocked for him as I watched from a discreet distance.
When he left the room again—the door sliding shut as soon as he
cleared the threshold—I was waiting for him. He walked right into the part
of my body that was in front of him, which I had concealed to look like that
of an Ultiman warrior—a species I had chosen because their height and
breadth allowed me to use more of my mass for the mimicry.
 He glared at me, his long snout twitching as he took in my beaded,
braided fur—a difficult look to pull off that had taken the entire time he’d
been inside the security room to complete. “You’re not supposed to be in
this part of the port.”
“I got lost,” I said, mimicking the Ultiman’s distinctive growling
language.
He snorted, all four of his nostrils flaring. “Well, you need to get lost
from this area, immediately.”
I nodded and turned away. “Very well, I will leave. Can you point the
way back to the main port exit?”
He gestured to the corridor that led back out towards the security
scanners. “It’s that way. Get moving.”
Then, before I was forced to adopt the long-legged, slow walk of the
Ultimans that I had been practicing, he strode in that direction himself,
leaving me behind.
I shook my newly formed head as I watched him turn the corner. It
appeared that security was only as good as the laziest security guard in this
port.
I’d taken a good look into his eyes, and I was able to mimic them for
the scanner, which caused the door to slide open upon a room filled with
security monitors.
I pulled myself inside, barely clearing the threshold with all of my
tentacles before the door closed. The room was not large, but wasn’t too
tiny to contain my mass, though it was a tight fit. I played my tentacles
across the holographic monitors, searching for some sign of how to get past
the scanners.
I’d just found a potential solution in a manual override switch
mentioned in an operator’s manual on one of the monitors when an alarm
went off and the door opened, revealing a handful of armed guards, pointing
their weapons at me.
 Chapter 26

JOANIE

I awakened to find that I was sitting in a chair, buckled securely in a

five-point harness facing a window display that showed the rapidly
disappearing view of the Ubaid Space Station. “I sure hope that’s not a
window.”
“It is not, but it is video feed from the exterior cameras.”
The voice came from the Iriduan seated in another chair beside me,
his eyes fixed on a console where his fingers flew over the holographic
controls.
“Damn it, Halian! What the hell are you doing? I thought you cared
about Nemon!”
He turned to me, his lips curled back from his even, white teeth
behind his clear mask. “I did. I loved Nemon like a son. I loved him so
much that I betrayed my people and destroyed my work to set him free.”
I shook my head, gripping the arms of my chair with sweating hands.
“Then why would you do this to him? He imprinted on me. Losing me will
destroy him.”
He laughed bitterly. “You are such a fool, but then I shouldn’t be
surprised. Your species has always been somewhat dense.” He turned back
to his console. “Love is a weakness that we should seek to eradicate from
our lives. I realized that after many years of imprisonment. I’d gained
nothing from my love for Nemon, other than pain and suffering. And what
was even more, I put my people—my entire civilization—at risk for that
love.” His fingers clenched over the controls. “I spent my entire life
avoiding the danger of imprinting, only to end up loving my experiment in
another way entirely, yet it ended up being just as much of an enslavement,
and it cost me even more than my freedom. It cost me everything!”
Even though I was angry at Halian, and frightened about what he was
planning on doing, I felt pity for the pain in his voice. “I’m so sorry that
you suffered, and I know that Nemon would be too, but he will never
forgive you if you hurt me.”
He laughed again, and this time I heard the hint of madness in it.
“You don’t even know, do you? You still think he imprinted on you.” His
gaze was cold when it raked over me. “Nemon never revealed his true form
to you, did he? I realized that from the way you look at my face.” He
pointed to his mask. “What he has shown you is only mimicry of me.
Nemon did so love to please me by taking on my form.”
I stared at his face, so much like that of my beloved mate. “What are
you saying? He shares your DNA, he—”
“No, human. There is no Iriduan DNA in Nemon. He is not like
Thrax, nor was my experiment the same as the one that created Thrax. I was
not splicing any DNA into Nemon. My expertise was in nano-technology.
We chose the nemonius octoria specifically because they already
demonstrated the ability to mimic their surroundings to a remarkable extent,
even growing extensions on their body to simulate seaweed. Normally, they
remain deep in the oceans of their homeworld, and are difficult to detect—
despite their size—specifically because their camouflage is so thorough, but
Nemon was curious about us and attacked our boats, searching for food.
When we captured him, we realized that we had the perfect specimen for
my project in synergistic nano-technology.”
I shook my head, not wanting to process what he was telling me. “Are
you saying Nemon doesn’t have any Iriduan DNA? That his face and his
body are just—”
He laughed at my devastated expression. “You see! This is why love
is a weakness. Your mate is a monster, and now you must realize what
you’ve lost. We never changed what he was. We only enhanced his abilities.
In fact, we made him even more dangerous. The nanites inside him allow
him to scan his surroundings and exactly mimic them, well enough to fool
even biometric scanners. He can take on the features of anyone, at any time.
But ultimately, he is the same creature that he was when we pulled him out
of the ocean.”
I sat silently after his revelation, stunned, horrified by what he’d told
me. I’d believed that the face Nemon had shown me had been his own.
Never had I imagined that it was only a fake, part of his camouflage. Those
lips that had kissed me had only been copies of the Iriduan who now sat
next to me, piloting this shuttle away from any sign of safety or rescue that
might save me from this nightmare.
Only I wasn’t certain which was the worst nightmare—that I had
been abducted by an alien yet again, or that Nemon was not the man I
believed he was. He was a monster from the deep, a creature that had lied to
me, pretended to be something he wasn’t, and he’d made love to me with a
body that was false.
Finally, I found the voice to speak. “What are you planning on doing
to me?”
He glanced over at me before returning his attention to his controls.
“Did you mate with Nemon?”
I flinched, remembering how beautiful those moments had been, and
how betrayed and disgusted I now felt as I pictured what he must truly look
like—the monster that had taken on a beautiful man’s face to seduce me.
“That’s none of your damned concern!”
I saw him smirk beneath his mask. “It should be your concern. His
nanites will attempt to bond his seed with your eggs and design offspring. It
was why we intended to breed Nemon once our experiments were
complete, and the tech had evolved to the level where it would be selective
for the traits we desired to keep. Nemon himself is not a hybrid, but we
fully intended for him to father many hybrid stealth soldiers for our military
who possessed the same mimicry abilities.”
I covered my stomach with my hand, struggling against the restraint
of the harness, realizing that it was as much a trap as it was a safety device.
“Are you saying that I could actually get pregnant?” So many emotions
flowed through me in that moment that it was difficult to process them all.
The one that was the strongest was the sudden, intense desire to protect any
possible life growing inside me. No matter who—or what—the father of my
baby was, it was still my baby.
But there was even more to it than that. Despite what I now knew
about Nemon—if Halian could even be believed—I still loved him. I was
angry at him for lying to me—for concealing the truth about what he was—
but I could not believe that all he had shown me about himself had been a
lie. His tenderness with me, his compassion for me, and his caring embrace
as I’d poured out my past to him. He’d listened, he’d been there, and he’d
loved me. None of that had been a lie.
 So, my alien was even more monstrous than I’d originally thought.
Ultimately, it didn’t matter to me, though it would take some time to forgive
him for his masquerade, and perhaps even more time to grow accustomed to
his true form, which I struggled to even imagine.
Whatever might happen in the future between me and Nemon, any
child we produced would be loved. That much I would guarantee, no matter
how alien my baby was—if my body could even produce a viable baby
from our union. I hadn’t been able to produce one with a human mate.
“When you said these nanites are selective, what did you mean?”
“So, you have mated with him. That means his mating tentacle must
have regenerated. I’d had some concerns about that. It was mistakenly
removed along with the others to study the receptors that form his suction
cups, and unlike the rest, it didn’t grow back. The nanites should have only
sped up regeneration, but I believe that Nemon had somehow figured out
that we wanted him to mate and was inhibiting the regeneration—perhaps
even subconsciously.”
I stroked my hand over my abdomen. How many times had I done
this same thing, dreaming of a child growing inside me, of creating new life
with the one I loved? “He probably knew you would force him to mate.”
Halian huffed out a breath that fogged his mask. “He probably did.
He was perceptive. Dangerously so. You should understand that there isn’t
much in this galaxy that can threaten him, especially once he gains access
to advanced technology long enough to truly learn how to use it.”
“He wouldn’t hurt anyone unless he had to.”
“You are so naïve. Nemon is still a predator. You should never forget
that.”
I shook my head, impatient with his warnings. I was never in danger
with Nemon, and neither was anyone else who didn’t pose a threat to him or
anyone he loved. If they did pose a threat, than they got what they deserved
for being an idiot. “You never answered my question.”
He swiped through some symbols on the console, and I glanced at the
video feed from the exterior of the shuttle. Ubaid Station was long gone,
and the image I saw was just a black void. No cool warp lines or anything
as we moved through space.
“By selective, I mean that the nanites will control gene expression
for the most optimal results as per our programming,” he said.
 “And… what if there are genetic abnormalities in the egg?”
He glanced up from his console. “Then the nanites will reject that
egg.”
So, Nemon’s smart sperm would be able to determine whether the egg
was viable or not without fertilizing it first, which meant that I wasn’t likely
to suffer any more miscarriages, at least. I didn’t know how many of my
eggs were viable. There was no way of telling that unless those eggs were
harvested and tested, but the fertility doctors had told me that viable eggs
were as likely as the ones that were nonviable. It was just a matter of
suffering through so many miscarriages until one of the genetically healthy
eggs was fertilized. Neither Michael nor I had been able to endure that,
though for different reasons. He’d been impatient to start a family, and I’d
been heartbroken by each individual loss. “You’re going to try to steal my
baby, aren’t you?”
He snorted. “I have no interest in any offspring you would produce.
I’m only interested in recovering some of the nanites from your body. When
I freed Nemon, I destroyed my research, believing that what we had created
was a mistake. I didn’t want them to capture another nemonius and begin
the project again. I was wrong to do that. I should never have freed Nemon,
and I definitely shouldn’t have destroyed all my work, including the data
redundancies. I was reacting emotionally, worried more about protecting a
monster than about protecting my own people.” His self-disgust was
evident in his tone.
“I still believe you did the right thing.”
He turned towards me, his face twisted by anger. “I don’t care what
you think, human! I spent over six standard Ubaid years rotting in a cell,
tortured daily because I could not reproduce my own work. They cut off my
wings, broke all my bones, flayed off parts of my flesh, and made certain
that my limbs would not heal correctly, so that my permanent limp would
keep me from escaping. All because I betrayed them for Nemon.” Spittle
flecked the inside of his mask as his voice rose into a near shout while I
flinched back into my seat. “I sacrificed everything for him! Love is
nothing but a burden!”
The pain in his words broke my heart even as I acknowledged the
hatred in his eyes. He’d given up his life for Nemon, who was like a son to
him, and now he regretted his sacrifice. How many times had I wondered if
my mother had regretted her sacrifices in keeping me, instead of “getting
rid of the problem?” Yet I had never once heard her complain to me about
regret. I had been the one who had beaten myself up for being a burden to
her, for robbing her of the life she could have had. I wondered if Nemon felt
the same guilt that I did, knowing what his father had done to save him. I
felt like he would want to save his father in return, but didn’t know if that
was even possible at this point. There was madness in this man’s eyes along
with his rage.
“Nemon loved you too. He believed in the goodness in you, even
when others questioned why he would still call you Father after what you’d
done to him. He had faith in you.” I drew in a deep breath. “I know he
would want to help you. To protect you.”
Halian sneered. “It’s too late for that. Haven’t you gotten it through
your head yet? I didn’t escape from that Iriduan prison. I was sent to lure
Nemon away from the Akrellians to recover the nanites and kill him.
Instead, you walked right into my path, carrying plenty of them inside you
to start up my project again. An Iriduan warship will be intercepting us
within the next four standard hours. You may as well sit back and accept
your fate.”
There was nothing that terrified me more than winding up back in the
clutches of the aliens that had tortured me for months. Well, nothing other
than the thought that Nemon would somehow end up back in their clutches.
Because I didn’t believe for one minute that he wouldn’t come after me, and
I feared that this time, there would be no one to help him escape.
 Chapter 27

NEMON

There had been some chaos and confusion during my arrest and
containment in a holding cell in the Ubaid Port Authority jail, but I was
very careful not to move in any way that inspired the port authority to
attack me, which would have forced me to defend myself. I never intended
to harm anyone with my escape. I’d only wanted to protect Joanie from the
dangers she might encounter on the station.
Instead, I was stuck until Prime Commander Tirel and the others
finished their hearing with the Syndicate and returned to the Akrellian
docking bay, where he would be informed that I’d left his care and had
committed what was apparently a fairly serious set of crimes.
Several security officers had stood outside my cell, staring at me as I
shifted back into the form that had become the most comfortable for me—
the fur on my body melting back into smooth skin as I once again took on
the face of my father. I let the camouflage of my tentacles change to a more
colorful hue so that they were visible, coiling them against my body to
show that I meant no harm. It was honestly difficult to wait in the cell
instead of just hacking the lock through the bars to escape, but I wanted to
show good faith. I had allowed myself to be arrested and would wait until
the Akrellians could bail me out.
I didn’t expect Tirel to be happy to see me, given where I was, but I
never expected his expression to be so dour when he marched into the jail
many hours later. Thrax was hard on his heels, as was a security officer,
who was arguing with them about freeing me without the proper paperwork.
Tirel slashed his hand through the air in front of him, silencing the
security officer. His quills rattled with his agitation, and I wondered if the
officer didn’t see him as a greater threat at that point than I was. “We don’t
have time for bureaucratic red tape. Take your complaints up with the
Dancer. We pay more than our fair share of fees to the Syndicate. They can
afford to look the other way this time.”
 The officer, a four-eyed Olomesh who was nearly as tall as Thrax,
still looked intimidated by the two warriors, but he wasn’t quick to back
down. “Your crewmember violated our security.” He pointed in my
direction. “He is a threat to this station.”
Tirel narrowed his eyes, his quilled crest standing tall and spread out
on his head. “All the more reason for you to expedite his removal from this
station. We will take him directly to our ship and leave within the hour.”
I remained quiet, not wanting to sway the officer’s decision by posing
any kind of resistance. Thrax met my eyes, narrowing his in irritation. I
wasn’t sure if he was irritated at me or the officer. Probably both. Inwardly,
I shrugged. I’d known that trying to follow Joanie was risky, but she was
my mate. Thrax should understand that better than anyone.
Finally, the tense showdown between the prime commander and the
officer ended with the port authority deciding to get rid of the problem as
quickly as possible, no doubt to avoid filing paperwork that revealed how
lax security had been in the first place. They’d only caught me because I’d
unknowingly tripped an alarm sensor beneath the desk with a stray tentacle
while investigating the monitors.
It wasn’t until I was escorted by a full contingent of security guards
back to the Akrellian ship—where they made certain I boarded and warned
me not to return—that I discovered the reason for Tirel’s urgency. It had not
been to spare me the trouble of cooling my tentacles in a jail cell, and in
fact, the lecture I’d expected never came. Instead, he relayed far more
devastating words as he faced me in the hold.
“Madam Joanie has disappeared. She slipped away from the other
human females while they were enjoying the sights in Leisure Ring.
Unfortunately, a sweep of the area by syndicate security was unable to
discover her, though video feed shows her leaving the casino as if she were
following someone.”
My tentacles snaked around him, lifting him off the floor to yank him
towards me as my lips pulled back in a snarl, baring all my teeth. “How
could you let this happen to my mate? You were supposed to protect her!”
I felt several stings in one of my tentacles as Tirel’s crest extended in
response to my rage and fear for Joanie. “We have a tracker on her
translator. We were able to trace her progress to the private docks, bay 26.
We’ve already picked up the trail of the small personal shuttle that left from
that bay. We can get her back, Nemon.” His tone was apologetic, as though
he was almost as upset as I was at his failure.
I lowered him back to the floor so that I would not drop him when
Thrax’s venom finally began to take effect, sedating me before I did
something I would later regret, like killing the prime commander on his
own ship. I sank to the floor as my tentacles collapsed underneath me.
Thrax crouched in front of me as my vision grew hazy. “You will
sleep long enough for us to prep the ship and leave the station. Once you
awaken, we’ll discuss a plan for rescuing your mate. I suggest you avoid
threatening anyone else. You’re still in trouble for trying to break into port
security.”
I nodded as lassitude stole through all of my limbs, knowing that
fighting to stay conscious was a losing battle. Thrax knew better than to
misjudge the dose. It was better this way. Waiting for the ship to prep for
takeoff would be unbearable for me, as my mind filled with images of what
could have happened to Joanie, and what would happen to her if we didn’t
get to her in time.
 Chapter 28

JOANIE

I tried to reason with Halian, believing that there might still be some
good within the broken shell of an Iriduan that could be reached if I could
only find the right words. Nemon had had faith in him. He’d trusted Halian,
and as Halian had said, Nemon was perceptive. “There’s still a chance to
stop this.”
His fingers twitched above the console. “No. There will never be an
escape. For either of us.”
I tried to lean towards him, but my harness kept me locked in place.
“They’re going to torture me again, Halian.” I couldn’t keep the fear out of
my voice. “They might even torture you again.”
“No!” He rubbed his forehead with a shaking hand. “They need me
now. I’m the only one who can continue the research on the nanites.”
I stared at him, willing him to listen. “Do you really think they
couldn’t find another scientist to reverse-engineer your work, once they
have it again?”
He shot a glare in my direction. “I know what you’re trying to do.
You’re wasting your breath. I will return you to the empire. I will reclaim
my place as a respected and honored scientist, and I will regain the
empress’s favor.”
My eyebrows shot up. “The empress, eh? I thought your empire was
ruled by two emperors.”
“The oprimo and the secundo emperors are the rulers of the Iriduan
Empire, but the empress,” he said the title bitterly, “has all the control over
the oprimo emperor, or have you learned nothing about our kind yet?”
“So, he’s imprinted on her then.”
If Halian was a human, the look he gave me might have been
accompanied by a loud “duh.” “The empress dictates all the oprimo’s
policy, though she cannot openly rule. That is, in fact, the purpose of the
celibate secundo emperor. He is supposed to be a balance against the
oprimo’s desire to please his mate. Yet, our current secundo is weak, and
the empress has more power and freedom than she should have.” His
disgusted expression left me in no doubt as to what he thought of this. “I
have this one chance to win her favor and take my place amongst my
people again. Nothing you say will change my mind on this.”
I struggled in my restraints, trying to work my arms free so that I
could reach over and slap some sense into him. Unfortunately, my struggles
availed me nothing, except fabric burn on my skin and a lot of frustration.
Since my escape was a dismal failure, I tried one more time to play the
emotional angle. “You were willing to sacrifice for Nemon. Surely that kind
of love doesn’t just disappear. What you are planning to do to me will
destroy any respect and love he has for you. He will hate you, as deeply as
he loves me, and he will never stop until he hunts you down and makes you
pay.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked as he ground his teeth. “Perhaps I should
have gagged you as well as bound you. This love you speak of, it is exactly
my point. You hope to play on a weakness that I have purged from my
system.”
I let my head fall back against my seat, exhaling in frustration. “I
don’t see it as a weakness at all. No one should have to pay the price you
did for love, but I can tell you with certainty that Nemon would pay the
same price for you. Love is a source of strength. My friends asked me how I
survived the months of torture at the hands of your people.” I tried to meet
his eyes, but he wouldn’t look at me. “I kept on fighting because I had
something to remember when times were the worst. I remembered my
mother, and how much she had loved me, and I could practically hear her
voice urging me to keep fighting. I survived, Halian, because of love—not
in spite of it. I swear to you, if you take us away from this place, I will find
a way to reunite you and Nemon, and we will find a way to heal you.”
A dark scowl twisted his features. “Why do you still feel such
devotion to him, now that you know what he really is? Are you not
horrified?”
I had been, but only briefly. It was difficult to explain to someone
who was so afraid of love. “I didn’t fall in love with Nemon’s pretty face. I
fell in love with the hearts that beat inside him and with the soul that I can
see behind his eyes. That is more beautiful than a face could ever be.”
 His long fingers stroked over the controls, then clenched into fists.
“So poetic, but how can you be certain now that he returns your devotion?
He does not suffer from the Iriduan malady. Perhaps you are really just
another curiosity for him to explore—one he will grow tired of in time.”
Of course he would speak a concern that did actually occur to me, one
which that demon voice inside my head picked up and replayed in a refrain,
but since I’d already considered it, I had already thought of an answer. “I
wish you could see the way Nemon looks at me. If you did, you wouldn’t
bother asking that question, because you’d already know the answer. He
may not have imprinted on me, but we recognized each other from the
moment we met. Maybe the human belief in soul mates is a real thing—I
don’t know. But whatever the case might be, I know he loves me,” and this
was something I would repeat over and over to that inner voice that wanted
me to doubt, “nor should you doubt that he loves you. Perhaps it is because
Nemon has so many hearts that he has never been afraid of giving them
away.”
Halian’s eye’s narrowed as he glared at me. “If that’s true, then he is
nowhere near as intelligent as I believed him to be.”
After those harsh words, he refused to be drawn into any more
conversation, and after he threatened to gag me, I shut my mouth and
braced myself for the arrival of the Iriduan warship. A part of me hoped that
somehow, Nemon and the Akrellians would find me first, but I feared that
wouldn’t be the case, and I needed to figure out a way out of the mess I’d
gotten myself into. “This is why I should never go to a casino,” I muttered.
He shot me a suspicious look, perhaps fearing that I would try to talk
to him, but I was done wasting my breath. Instead, I remained silent, though
my mind was still busy planning my escape.
I hadn’t gotten very far in my plan when several of the hologram
monitors lit up with red warnings and alarms went off around us. The black
screen in front of me suddenly showed a ship pop into view with lots of
what looked like electricity or lightning crackling around it. The ship itself
was nothing like the beautiful Star Dancer, which had as artistic an exterior
as interior—something I’d learned when I’d gotten a good look at the
incredible beauty of the ship in port. Her hull painted in greens and golds,
she had the swooping curves and the strong geometric designs that so
defined their seemingly favorite art style. This Iriduan ship looked more
like a really long, cigar-shaped asteroid.
“They sent Ciparro’s Javelin!” Halian quickly started swiping over
symbols on his controls. “That’s the empress’s personal warship.”
It was go time, I guessed. I still didn’t have a plan. I might have been
able to take Halian down alone if I wasn’t restrained. Even though he was
bigger than me, I could tell that he hadn’t fully recovered from his ordeal,
which made him a soft target, but taking him down now was pointless. I
couldn’t escape the warship that had come for us. Instead, I waited—just
like Halian—only I was waiting to get my life back. This time, I would find
a way.
The shuttle flew towards the cigar-asteroid ship, and as we
approached one end of the ship, a cargo hatch opened for our shuttle. I
realized how big the ship really was, based on the size of the cargo door that
we flew towards. It was only a tiny opening on the narrow front end of the
vessel. As we flew closer, I realized the door was plenty large enough to
bring us in.
Halian navigated the shuttle into the bay and landed it without any
more words to me until he unbuckled his own restraints. Then he turned to
me. “Don’t give me any trouble.” He pointed to the screen where we now
saw a beautiful female Iriduan standing in front of a contingent of male
guards in gray hard suits. They all waited just beyond the shuttle. “They
want you alive, but they won’t hesitate to maim you so that you cannot
escape. Just do as they say, follow their orders, and your suffering won’t be
as bad as they could make it.”
Halian may have been wounded still, but he wasn’t as weak as I
thought he was. His hand was hard around my bicep as he unlocked the
harness pinning me into my seat and hauled me up to lead me out of the
shuttle.
I didn’t get a good look at the shuttle that had brought us to this point
as I half-stumbled down the ramp, with only Halian’s hard grip keeping me
steady. My entire focus was on the Iriduan female and her guards.
I had only ever seen the males, and only at a distance while on the
Ubaid station. Claire had described the female she’d seen, and this woman
was just as beautiful, though her skin was a peacock-blue color that
shimmered to an emerald green in the light. Her eyes were the same
stunning blue, and her hair was emerald green. The front of her hair was
done up in a bunch of coiled braids, except for several small braids left long
to fall over her shoulders and down her back, where the rest fell past her
waist, loose and straight.
Jeweled pins and combs held her elaborate hairstyle together, and all
of the accessories dangled with beaded chains that swayed as she turned her
head. She wore a set of robes that were a mix of gold and a fiery orange that
looked surprisingly compatible with her blue skin tone. Her robes also
glittered with faceted beads that had been embroidered in floral and leaf
patterns into the silken fabric, using a metallic gold thread.
The only thing that wasn’t beautiful on the woman was the expression
on her face. Her large eyes were hard as they studied me, and her lips were
tight with annoyance. “So, this is the female carrying Nemon’s seed?” Her
mouth spread in a cruel smile. “You also carry some very advanced
immune-boosting modifications, from what I understand. You are quite a
valuable find, aren’t you? I had hoped for the return of at least some part of
the sea creature,” she glanced at Halian, who remained beside me, holding
my arm, “but perhaps this is an even better repayment for Halian’s
betrayal.”
Halian stepped forward when she gestured to him, dragging his left
leg slightly as he moved between the woman and me.
She placed a hand on his shoulder, revealing that her fingers were
covered with lacy gold caps that ended in points. “There is one thing I’d
like to be certain of, before I begin to trust you again, Professor Halian.”
He looked as if he was fighting the urge to cringe away from her
touch, but held still as she lifted her hand to his mask.
He jerked away as she suddenly yanked it off his face. A guard
stepped forward to grab Halian by the neck and push him to his knees in
front of me.
I stood frozen in shock as the guard shoved Halian’s face against my
crotch, as he tried to turn his head away.
“Breathe in deep, traitor.” The empress’s eyes were as cold as ice
chips. “See if you imprint on this female.”
Halian couldn’t hold his breath forever, and the guard grabbed my
arm with his free hand when I tried to step backwards. He held me in place
with a bruising grip until Halian gasped for air, sucking in my scent, which
was no doubt heightened by the fact that I was only wearing a dress and a
lacy pair of panties.
Only when Halian had to breathe did the guard release him to fall
back on his haunches. Halian kept his head turned away from me, and his
eyes tightly closed.
The empress chuckled and nodded to her guard, who gripped Halian’s
chin and turned his face towards her.
“Let me look at your eyes, Halian.” Her voice was smooth, sultry, and
as cold as any spoken voice I’d ever heard.
He opened his eyes and glared at her defiantly. She stared into them
for a moment before shaking her head. “Pity. I was hoping you would
imprint on her. It would give me even more leverage to ensure your
continued loyalty. I suppose even your body has more taste than to choose
one such as this creature.” She flicked his mask at him, and he turned his
head to avoid having it smack him in the face as he reached up too slowly
to catch it. “You may go to your lab. Prepare to extract the nanites. My
guards will bring the subject in shortly.”
I watched as Halian struggled to get back on his feet, his cloak falling
open to reveal his ragged clothing and emaciated body. Though the empress
was also slender, the guards were quite strong-looking beneath their hard
armor, and I suspected that Halian would have fallen between the size of the
guards and the empress if he’d been healthy, but he was very clearly not.
Again, I pitied him when I should have hated him. He had suffered dearly
for his sacrifice. I wasn’t sure what loss had been the worst for him, but I
suspected it might have been the jewel-like wings that every other male in
the bay had tucked behind them.
The empress didn’t wait for Halian to make his painstakingly slow
escape from the bay. She turned to me before he’d even passed the small
contingent of guards, dismissing him as unimportant. “It is a pity we could
not recover Nemon. From all accounts, he was quite a spectacular
specimen.” She eyed me curiously. “I wonder what it was about you that
drew him. He would not have imprinted on you.”
I glanced from her to the guards, none of which were wearing the face
masks.
She noticed the direction of my attention, and misinterpreted my
interest. “Do not hope that a member of my harem will imprint on you.
They all already belong to me.”
My eyes widened as I took in the half-dozen males who stood
patiently behind the empress now that Halian was leaving the room.
“They’re all your mates?”
Her mocking smile tightened. “They are all my slaves. They will do
exactly as I say, and will never betray me, so if you were hoping to charm
one of them, you should not bother.”
None of the males so much as flinched at her cruel words, or the
disdainful tone she used for them. “I thought once you mated—”
She laughed, and it was a hard, sharp sound that was unattractive.
“Only males bond through imprinting. My mate—the oprimo emperor—has
brought me every noble youth who has gone through meta to see which
ones imprint on me. Those who do, become my unquestionably loyal
guard.”
“Meta?” I was guessing that meant something like puberty, which
meant that she was basically enslaving children to her using the fact that
they imprint, over which they had no control. There appeared to be no limit
to her cruelty.
The gemstone beads on the swinging chains of her headdress caught
the light as she lifted her chin. “You humans know so little about us. I still
cannot believe we share the same ancestors.”
I figured that if I could keep her talking, I could come up with a plan
that would keep me out of any laboratories. “I do know so little about you,
but I’d like to know more. Is meta your puberty phase?”
She smiled again, perhaps amused by my question. Then she turned
her head and nodded at one of the guards. “Bring my beautiful children in.
Let this human see an Iriduan before metamorphosis.” She turned her eyes
back to me. “After all, you’ll never leave here alive, so there’s no need to
hide the truth from you.”
The guard lifted his wrist and spoke into it in a low voice I didn’t
catch. After a few tense moments of waiting, the door at the other end of the
bay slid open. Suddenly, two huge dragonfly-like creatures zipped into the
bay on glittering wings. They were about the size of children, only long and
sleek, and built just like massive dragonflies, right down to their round,
insectoid heads. The only signs that they might one day look like Iriduans
were the humanoid hands that tipped the ends of their long, slender
forelegs.
I loved the look of colorful dragonflies darting over water, but I knew
from experience that they could bite. The jaws of the small ones weren’t
that bad, but there was nothing tiny about these. I took a few steps away
from them as they darted around the bay in a gleeful chase.
For the first time since I’d met her, the empress’s expression actually
seemed to soften as she watched her children. “My sons. They are quite
beautiful, and they do love their play.” Her gaze hardened again when she
met my eyes. “I will not show you my daughters. That is a secret even one
who is about to die should not know.”
I shook my head, watching the giant dragonflies out of my periphery.
“How do they look so different from you?”
She smirked. “Someday, I will weave their cocoons, and they will
become as all adult Iriduans are.”
Well, that was creepy. Given that I had some of that funky Iriduan
DNA inside me, I was not entirely thrilled to find out that they were more
insectoid than their wings alone had made me think. This wasn’t something
Claire had discovered on her GalactaNet searches about Iriduans, so I could
only assume they kept the truth about their children a secret from the entire
galaxy.
She interrupted my speechless staring by approaching me, close
enough to touch my still-firm hair style with a pointy-capped finger. “You
humans are so primitive, yet even I must admit there is something appealing
about you.” She studied my dress, the one I had been so proud of and felt so
good wearing until I’d ended up a prisoner once again. “This style, it is
interesting. It suits you.”
She stepped even closer to me, until her face was only a few inches
from mine, though she was half a head taller than me. “Perhaps it would be
too hasty to vivisect you for the modifications inside you. You might be of
more use to the empire if you were bred with an Iriduan male. I can offer
you an entire harem of them.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Your
pheromone is strong, fragrant. You will set many of them off. You will live
a life of luxury, never wanting for anything, with males to serve your every
desire and whim.”
 “What?” I stared at her in disbelief, wondering what new cruel game
she was trying to play. I had to admit, her poker face was excellent. She
looked completely sincere. “Look, I know I’m not hideous, but I’m not
exactly Helen of Troy. Why the sudden change of tune from ‘oh, let’s cut
your guts out for experimental funtimes’ to suddenly ‘let me give you your
lifetime daydream in the flesh’?” I shook my head. “Nope, I’m not buying
it. You’re bluffing.”
She chuckled, as she touched my cheek, pressing slightly with the tip
of her fingercap until I felt the sharp sting of it against my skin. “You will
not be easily persuaded, I can see, but I think you have potential. The
females of my species are at a disadvantage. Many of them cannot cause a
male to imprint because they lack enough pheromone. I would ensure the
loyalty of less noble males by binding them to a female that is beholden to
me.”
I jerked my head away from her finger. “So, when did we become
friends again?”
Her smile was sharp, though her teeth were no more lethal than mine.
“You have very few options. If you don’t take my offer, you will die in
great agony here in the laboratories. If you do take my offer, you will live in
great comfort and wealth, unharmed as long as you obeyed my commands.”
I eyed her suspiciously, waiting for that finger to stab at me again.
“You don’t get out much, do you?”
A flicker of annoyance created lines on her face before it smoothed
out again. “As with any Iriduan female, I am isolated from the public.” She
spread her arms to indicate our surroundings. “Even as an empress with a
warship, I cannot go wherever I would choose, lest I overstep the bounds
placed on females in our society. I must remain in space, surrounded only
by my harem and my mate’s loyal crew. My mate would not be able to save
me if I pushed our laws too far by attempting to walk amongst the citizens
of any of our worlds. We live in seclusion, allowed in the company of only
mated males or other females. I would prefer a new pet, one with
experiences beyond the palace, who can entertain me.”
“You know, you had me at ‘pet’. How could a girl turn down that
lovely title?”
Her large, almond-shaped eyes narrowed even as she smirked. “You
are being sarcastic.”
 “Hey, look at that, you can read emotions, even if you can’t feel
them.”
Her smile tightened like a rubber band. “I assure you, I am quite
capable of feeling emotion. The one I feel at the moment is anger.”
I returned her smile. “Yeah, how about you tell me what this feels
like.” I jerked my head forward as hard as I could, slamming my forehead
into her nose as I grabbed her arm with one hand and reached for one of the
pins in her braided hairstyle.
She shrieked in pain as her nose was crushed beneath the force of the
impact, then gasped again as I wrapped my arm around her throat and held
the sharp point of the hair pin to her jugular, turning her to serve as my
shield against her males.
“One move, and I show this bitch what it feels like to have a needle
stabbed into you over and over again.” I tightened my hold around her
throat when she tried to struggle, and she sagged against me, panting
heavily as blood dripped from her broken nose onto my arm.
Her males hadn’t expected the attack, and by the time they’d drawn
their weapons, I already had their empress between me and them. They
could not shoot me without risking that they would hit her, or that I would
end up digging the pin into her neck vein before dying from my wound.
Unfortunately, I had no idea what to do next.
 Chapter 29

NEMON

When I first awoke, everything was a blur, but my system quickly

cleared the remnants of Thrax’s venom from my blood so that all my limbs
could function, and I used them to make my way to the bridge of the Star
Dancer with great haste. I found that Thrax and Commander Tirel were
already there.
Their conversation paused as I entered through the sliding door,
pulling all of my considerable mass onto the bridge before the door slid
closed again. By coiling my tentacles against and underneath my body, I
was able to fit into the space, and Thrax and Tirel turned to include me in
their discussion.
“We’ve found the shuttle,” Tirel said, wasting no time on greetings,
which I appreciated. There was only one thing I wanted to hear from him,
and that was it.
“And Joanie. Is she…?” I couldn’t bear to finish the question, fearing
the answer more than I’d ever feared anything.
Thrax and Tirel glanced at each other before Tirel answered. “There’s
a complication. Our advance probe detected the shuttle, but while it was
spying to determine the best approach, an Imperial Javelin-class warship
warped into that quarter.
I couldn’t stop the snarl from twisting my lips at that news. Somehow,
I had known that my Joanie had once again fallen into the hands of our
enemies. It was bad enough wondering what one person would have
intended by abducting her from the space station, but the understanding that
the Iriduan Empire had recaptured her was like torture, though nowhere
near as bad as the torture I feared she would be subjected to if we didn’t get
to her in time. “What are we waiting for?” I gestured to the crewmembers
manning the Star Dancer’s control consoles. “Let’s go after her.”
Tirel sighed. “We intend to, but we have to plan this carefully. We
have the advantage of surprise, but we cannot just warp into that sector and
start pummeling the Javelin with pulse torpedoes without risking that your
mate could be hurt or killed.”
Any delay in rescuing Joanie seemed like too much, but I knew that
Tirel was trying to be reasonable, so I resisted the urge to pick him up and
shake him until he gave the order to attack the imperial warship and get my
Joanie back. “So what’s the plan?”
Thrax eyed me as if he wondered whether he’d have to use his venom
to put me down again. I preferred it if he didn’t, but I had to admit that his
caution was understandable. My agitation was making my tentacles twitchy.
“The Akrellians on-boarded a special shuttle that Commander Tirel
thinks we can use to approach the ship without being detected,” Thrax said.
“It also possesses infiltration software designed to attack the systems
of Iriduan vessels,” Tirel added. “It is a small shuttle, so we will have to
send an elite team of my best warriors through the warp tunnel to collect
your mate.”
“You’ll be sending me as well,” I said, my tentacles twitching even
more.
He glanced at Thrax again. “That’s impossible. The confines of the
shuttle are too tight to fit both you and a team of warriors.”
“Then I’ll go alone.” I narrowed my eyes on him. “I can pilot your
shuttle by myself if I have to.”
Thrax’s wings twitched as he crossed his lower arms over his chest. “I
told you he was going to say that, Commander.”
Tirel’s quilled crest extended as he glared at me. “You put me in a
difficult position, Nemon.”
“You were supposed to protect my mate, Commander. That was the
only reason I agreed to remain on the ship.”
“You didn’t remain on the ship,” Thrax said before Tirel could.
“That’s not important at the moment. Those monsters could be doing
anything to Joanie. Arguing about this is a waste of her time. I already put
her safety in your hands once, Commander, and now she’s a prisoner of the
ones who hurt her so badly the first time they had her. Let me be the one to
protect my own mate this time.”
Tirel ground his sharp teeth together, but nodded abruptly after a long
moment in which I wondered if our friendship would survive my urge to
strangle him. “This goes against all my better judgement, but I will allow
you to use the shuttle.” His upraised hand stopped me as I turned to leave
the bridge to head down to the cargo hold. “I am not going to allow you to
pilot our shuttle.” He gestured to another Akrellian, who hopped up from
his seat nearby and headed to the door. “Our shuttle pilot can fit into the
cockpit. Try to stay out of his way, and he’ll get you and your mate back to
our ship safely, if you can remove her from the Iriduans without getting
both of you killed.”
His warning told me it was going to be a tight fit, and as Thrax
followed me off the bridge, he mentioned his disappointment that he
wouldn’t be able to squeeze onto the shuttle to join me in the fray.
I would have liked to have had his company, but at that point, it didn’t
matter that I had to go alone save for the shuttle pilot. I just needed to get to
Joanie, as quickly as possible.
 Chapter 30

JOANIE

I was feeling pretty proud of myself for getting the drop on the
empress and her guard, though I had no idea what to do with it. Yet the
shuttle was behind me, so I backed towards the ramp, dragging her with me
to keep her between me and her males. They stared at me with complete
and utter hatred, just itching to pull the triggers on their weapons. One slip
on my part and I was dead.
I was almost up the ramp when I realized that I had forgotten
something critical in my adrenaline-fueled attack on the empress. I had
forgotten her sons.
Something hard and sharp landed on my back, digging into the fabric
of my dress until it pierced my skin. I cried out in pain, releasing the
empress to flail at the giant dragonfly that was bearing me to the ground.
The hairpin made a soft pinging sound as it dropped to the metal floor.
The second dragonfly dropped from the ceiling to hover in front of
my face, and I looked into its terrible insectoid eyes, seeing the sentience
there and realizing how badly I had miscalculated as it charged at me, alien
jaws opening to bite my face off.
“Do not kill her!” The empress’s sharp command caused both
dragonflies to freeze, only their wings still beating as they waited for her to
speak. She held her bleeding nose with one hand as she approached me and
her children. “You will pay for this,” she said in a nasally voice muffled by
her hand, “but there are still uses for you.”
She glanced over her shoulder at her guards. “Take her to the
Halian’s lab.” Then she turned back towards me with a gleam in her eye and
pulled her fist back, her knuckles covered with the same lacy gold that
capped her fingers. “A little gift to repay you.”
Then she slammed her metal-coated fist into my face, smashing my
nose. She hit me again and again, until all I saw was the darkness that fell
over me, before unconsciousness took over.
 *****

I woke up in pain, my face both aching and on fire. I was naked, lying
with my legs spread open and propped up in stirrups. Someone had strapped
my body down on a cold, metal table.
I whimpered through swollen, bloodied lips, tasting iron on my
tongue.
A shadow blocked the blinding light above me as someone stood over
me. Long, straight hair brushed my chest as a cool hand settled on my brow.
The person leaned closer to me, so close that I could feel his breath. “Do
not struggle in any way. Don’t give them a reason to come in here. I’m
working on a plan to get you out of here, but they are watching my every
move.”
I recognized Halian’s voice, though I was surprised at his words.
Surprised enough that I could think about their meaning, even through my
pain.
He brushed my hair off my forehead, and then stood straight again,
heading around to the end of the table to stop between my spread legs. Had
I not been in so much pain, I would have felt humiliation and shame at
being so exposed, but at this point, I felt more afraid than anything. I had to
rely on this untrustworthy Iriduan to once again betray his people, and I
wasn’t sure why he was doing it, or if I could even trust his words at all.
Perhaps he simply wanted me not to struggle to make his job easier.
I hoped that my words had somehow gotten through to him, though I
wished he’d come to his senses sooner, but it was possible that the
empress’s attempt to see if he’d imprint on me had made him reconsider his
loyalties. Or perhaps he’d had time to consider how Nemon would feel
about what was happening to me, and decided that love for his “son” was
worth the sacrifice. I didn’t know, and I couldn’t ask. If they were watching
us, they were also probably listening, which was why his voice had been
such a low murmur that I had had to strain to hear it.
But I had heard it, so I didn’t struggle, clenching my eyelids shut—
even though it hurt my battered face—when I felt the cold metal of a
speculum probe my folds.
Suddenly, I heard Halian loudly curse, mutter something, and then a
crash as he stumbled clumsily into his workbench, twisting on his bad leg.
Glass vials smashed into each other and then rolled to the metal floor,
where they broke open, their contents mixing together as they spilled.
A choking smoke filled the room, and something was pressed against
my face, causing me to cry out in pain. “The air filters will clear this room
in minutes!” Halian’s voice hissed in my ear. “We have to make our move
now!”
The restraints slipped off my body, and his hands on my back urged
me to sit up on the table. I couldn’t see anything in the cloying smoke, and I
was sure if it wasn’t for the mask covering the lower half of my face, I
wouldn’t be able to breathe. My eyes watered from the chemical-laden
smoke.
I followed the unspoken orders of Halian’s hands urging me forward,
pausing only briefly as a coat was thrown around my shoulders.
I clutched the lab coat around me as a door slid open, sucking smoke
outwards. We trailed after it, Halian wordlessly urging me to move with
steadily increasing pressure on my arms. I sped up until I was running along
with his ungainly loping gait as the air cleared. I could finally see the long,
barren corridor that was currently empty of guards or crew.
Halian glanced back and forth as he guided me down the corridor, his
eyes wide with fear. “I set off distractions throughout the ship, but they will
eventually track us down. The only hope we have is to get to the shuttle
before they can stop us. The javelin’s IFF won’t allow it to fire on their own
vessels without a manual override. We can make the warp tunnel before
they’re organized enough to get two officers to approve it.”
“What about the empress?” I tried to say, though my words came out
slurred through my swollen lips.
He shook his head. “Her cabin is hooked up to a separate life-support
system than the rest of the Javelin. After I left the bay, I set up a sleeping
gas to pump into her quarters. After you wounded her, that was the first
place she went with some of her males. They should be knocked out by
now, but the captain and crew will seek to raise her from her sleep once
they figure out what’s going on. We have to move quickly.”
“You planned to help me from the beginning?” My attempt to speak
sent a spray of blood against the mask I still had on my face.
He must have understood at least some of my meaning. “I had plans
of my own.” That was all he’d say other than to urge me to move faster
towards the shuttle bay.
We were nearly there when an alarm sounded and the ship began to
speak in a mechanical voice that came from overhead. “Warning, hull
breach detected. Enemy presence verified by bio-scan. Danger. Modified
bio-synthetic lifeform detected. Shutting down airlock to corridor—” The
voice cut off for a moment, before returning with a greater sound of
urgency, despite the computerized nature of it. “Airlock 14 compromised.
D-d-danger, enemy infiltration detected in systems 12 through 14.
Compartmentalizing sectors to contain virus.”
I watched Halian’s expression, uncertain what to make of this new
complication. Obviously, they knew that we were escaping.
He shook his head, glancing behind us. “That’s not good.”
My pounding heart slipped into my gut. “So, they found us already?”
“No, the ship is trying to contain something else, and it sounds like
it’s failing.”
A brief shot of hope went through me, speeding my steps. “Nemon?”
Creases bracketed his mouth as his frown deepened. “Possible. It’s
still a problem.”
“We have to get to him!” If anyone could get us out of here, it was
Nemon. Somehow, the Akrellians had found us.
Halian paused in the corridor, clearly torn on which direction he
wanted to take me. There was a branch up ahead, and he stared at it with
visible indecision. “He must have a ship, but his presence will draw every
guard to take him down. We have a better chance of getting to my shuttle to
escape while the crew and guards are distracted.”
I gripped his arm, squeezing it to pull his gaze to me. “We’re not
leaving him behind.”
He studied me with a curious expression. “You really do love him,
don’t you?”
“What have I been telling you this entire time! He’s everything to me.
I’m not about to leave this ship without him.”
Halian hesitated for only a moment before he nodded his head. “Very
well, we head towards the chaos Nemon is causing—at least, we must hope
it is him.”
He led me to the branch in the corridor and turned to the right. We
raced down the much shorter corridor to meet another branch where we
turned left. At this time, the alarm that continued to blare was interrupted
again by the computerized voice. “System breach in all sectors. Airlocks 15
through 17 compromised. Multiple crew fatalities detected. Unable to
contain enemy presence. Now ejecting imperial pod.”
“Damn!” Halian muttered, running as fast as his damaged leg could
carry him. Though my face throbbed in tune with my steps, I kept up with
his pace. “I hope Nemon has an escape plan because the ship will—”
“All crew, evacuate to escape pods.” The ship repeated this
announcement several times, before saying something that chilled my
blood. “Purge countdown initiated. Self-destruct will commence in 175…
174…173….”
“Shit! Tell me we’re close, Halian!”
But he didn’t need to answer me, because the next turn had us
stumbling upon a mess of bodies and ruined ship parts. Metal panels had
been torn off the walls, and circuitry and cables were lying everywhere. The
emergency lights were on, leading us along the trail of destruction. In one
direction, there was a neat hole that was cut into the hull. In the other
direction, we heard the sound of weapon fire, though it wasn’t a sharp retort
like gunfire. It was more like the crackle of some kind of energy weapon.
I headed in that direction. “Nemon!”
Halian’s grip on my arm pulled me back towards the hole. “His
shuttle is in here. Get inside and buckle up. I will go find Nemon.”
I hesitated, as the computer continued to countdown, far too fast for
my comfort. “Can I trust you?”
“He’s my son.” He pushed me towards the hole, then turned and ran
off towards the sounds of combat.
 Chapter 31
NEMON
The Iriduans themselves were hardly any challenge, but I was
growing frantic as the ship’s AI counted down the moments until it would
self-destruct. Because of the resistance I was encountering, I made slow
progress through the ship, and the timer was steadily ticking. I had to find
Joanie, but even once I did, I wasn’t sure we would make it back to the
shuttle in time. The only other hope I had was that we could reach one of
the escape pods.
I hadn’t considered how quickly the Iriduans would destroy their own
technology to keep it out of enemy hands, but perhaps I should have
worked that into my plan. Just hopping onto their ship through the breach
the shuttle’s infiltration tools had cut into the hull had not been the best
idea, but I knew little of their technology, or I thought I did until I started
tearing out panels and encountering the cables and circuitry. Like their
research facility, I understood what I was looking at after only a brief scan
of it, and I was able to hack into their systems to keep the airlocks from
closing off the rest of the ship.
Unfortunately, that set off the ship’s alarm systems, and their
containment protocol, which ultimately led me to this point.
My enemy had retreated, but I had no idea which corridor to follow to
find Joanie, and little time with which to make a decision.
I spun, my tentacles grasping for the Iriduan that came barreling
around a corner behind me, back in the direction of my shuttle.
I snatched him up and pulled him towards me, prepared to squeeze
the information of Joanie’s location out of him. Then I froze as my tentacles
told me who he was, even before my eyes registered his appearance.
Recognition sent shockwaves through me. “Father?”
“There’s no time for reunions, Nemon. Your mate is on your shuttle.
You must go, now!”
There was no time, but I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed by my
shock. “Where… why… how did you…?”
 “Nemon!” His eyes narrowed on me, a reprimanding expression I’d
seen a lot when I’d first begun to learn my new body and had made many
mistakes. “Listen to me. You must go back to your shuttle now. Your
questions will be answered later. Move!”
His words spurred me forward, as I set him back on his feet, then
crammed my body tight to fit through the corridor, pulling myself along
with my tentacles. I paused when he didn’t immediately follow me.
“Father?”
He waved me back towards the shuttle. “I’ll be right behind you,
Nemon. There’s one thing I have to do first.”
I didn’t want to leave him, but I had to check on Joanie. I was torn for
only a moment, before my concern for my mate won out. I would trust that
Father could find his way to the shuttle before the ship’s countdown ended.
Only, I barely made it back to the shuttle before the countdown
ended. I crawled through the hull-breach, squeezing my mass into the
shuttle as my tentacles flowed joyfully around Joanie, who was crying as
she accepted their embrace. I tasted her tears, and also her blood and I felt
fresh rage at the Iriduans, but there was little time to dwell on that. The pilot
retracted the bridge between our ship and the hull, and shut the airlock.
“Wait!” I cried out, curling my tentacles around the pilot’s arms. “My
father is still on that ship!”
“It’s going to go in just a few moments. We have to make warp,
immediately!”
I knew he was right, and I would abandon my father to save Joanie,
though it pained me to leave him behind yet again. Only this time, I didn’t
believe that I would ever see him again.
 Chapter 32

JOANIE

There are worse places to be than wrapped in the tentacles of your

alien lover. My face still wasn’t feeling great, and I’d spent far too much
time in the medbay for my comfort, but I was finally back in the wet-hold,
held safely in Nemon’s embrace.
He was very careful with me, his tentacles trailing softly over my
body to check for any other injuries besides the ones on my face. I could
see his distress in the way his free tentacles whipped around as he touched
each and every one of my bruises. His eyes were narrowed, his brow
lowered as he gently stroked my split lip. “You say this empress escaped? I
will hunt her down and repay her for every single bruise and cut on your
face.”
I laughed, though it came out a bit pained. “I’d like to do that myself,
honestly. If we ever run into her again, you can take care of her guard while
I have a few words with her.”
He nodded. “I will let you take your vengeance, but there is no
question of “if,” my mate. I will find her, and she will pay.”
I leaned my head against his chest, pressing my palm over one of his
hearts, comforted by the steady beating of it. “No, Nemon. I don’t want to
hunt her down. I just want to go to our new home, and be there together.
I’m tired of the Iriduans. Really sick of them. I never want to see another
one again.” I tensed, and then looked up at his face. “I’m sorry about your
father.”
He sank down on his tentacles until we were both submerged in the
cool water of his pool, which soothed my naked body. I had stripped down
so that he could investigate it for bruises. “I cannot believe he would betray
me. I cannot decide if I am happy he is gone, or hurt by it.”
I sighed heavily, stroking his chest. “I’m so sorry, Nemon. I thought
of not telling you the truth to spare you because he did help me in the end,
but….”
 He shook his head. “No, Joanie. I’m glad you told me all of it.
Perhaps someday, I will find a way to understand why he did what he did,
and to forgive him, but that day will not be soon. Not while I must look
upon the damage those creatures have done to my mate, and know that I
wasn’t there to stop them from hurting you.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, brushing against his gills, which
were flat against his sides. This made me think of the things I had yet to
discuss with Nemon. “Your father told me the truth, Nemon. About you.” I
rested my chin on his chest so I could look into his eyes.
His brows came together with his confusion. “Truth?”
“I wish you had told me that you weren’t really half-Iriduan.
Honestly, at this point, it makes me love you even more that you have
nothing of them inside you.” I squeezed my arms around his sides in a brief
hug as his expression shifted from confused to upset. “I’m just kidding
about that. I would love you no matter what DNA you had.”
He set his hands on my shoulders, pushing me slightly away from
him so that he could better look into my eyes. “What do you mean, I don’t
have Father’s DNA?”
I realized suddenly that Nemon didn’t know that. Had never known
that. He hadn’t lied to me by keeping the truth hidden. He’d been unaware
of it himself. “He put tiny machines in your body. Nanites. That was the
experiment. He said you mimicked him because you admired him, and he
found it charming, so he told you that you were like his son.”
Nemon shook his head, and I could see the shock of my revelations
cross his face. “No, he told me I was his son. He said that a part of him was
contained within me.”
“His work, Nemon. That was the part of him that he gave to you. It
was the most important part of him. But he did love you like a son. He
confessed that much. He made the ultimate sacrifice for you. He gave up his
work and even destroyed his research, because he realized how much
wrong he’d done to you.”
Nemon looked so heartbroken that I wished again that I had kept this
secret from him. I lifted my arms to curl around his neck, pulling his head
down so I could kiss him gently, mindful of my split lip. “I’m sorry, baby. It
didn’t make you any less important. Not to me and not to him.”
 He pulled away after only a brief kiss, his tentacles growing slack
around me. “But this means I’m still a monster, Joanie.”
I laughed, though a part of me wanted to cry at the devastation in his
voice. “You are my monster, Nemon, and I happen to love that about you.” I
wiggled my hips in the water, brushing them against his tentacles until they
curled tighter to pull me against him again. “I know you can look like
anyone, but this look you have now has kind of grown on me.” I kissed his
firm, muscular chest. “Although, I would like to see what you really look
like.”
He shook his head, his hair sliding over his shoulders like strands of
silk, so much finer than Halian’s hair had been. There was much about
Nemon that was so much finer than Halian had been. It was as if in
mimicking Halian, Nemon had made a better copy than the original. In fact,
I didn’t feel like I was looking at a copy at all. Though Nemon’s body might
have started out as a mimicry of Halian, he had made this form his own.
“I will not show you that side of me, Joanie. Not unless you give me
no choice. It isn’t who I am anymore.” His tone was determined.
I snuggled closer to his chest. “If you’re not ready to show me, I
won’t push you, but someday, I want to see you, Nemon. As you were
before.”
His hands smoothed over the bare skin of my back. “Are you sure you
will still love me then?”
I smiled against his chest. “I will always love you.”
“So, you would not mind making love to me again?”
I chuckled, wiggling my hips again. “Right now would be good,
actually. I’ve been thinking some erotic thoughts.”
His tentacles curled around my legs, spreading them apart to make
room for his mating tentacle. This time, there was something frantic in the
speed with which he entered me, and in how fast my body adjusted to his
penetration. I welcomed him home, because he belonged there, inside me,
not just his long, thick tentacle pumping into my wet heat, but also my love
for him, which had rapidly become so much a part of me that I couldn’t
have separated from it if I tried.
I’d lost my home, my old life, and everything that existed for me on
Earth, and in the end, I’d gained the greatest gift in the galaxy.
 Chapter 33

NEMON

Hierabodos V had many oceans, and they were all beautiful, but
nothing on our new homeworld was as lovely as my mate. I watched her
stroll along the sandy beach, digging her toes into the fine, white particles
in search of shells. My own tentacles sifted through the sand to find little
gifts to present to her, and she’d already strung some spiral shells on a
thread to make the necklace that bobbed against her bathing suit, between
her beautiful, full breasts.
We’d been on this world for only a few months of its year, and had
gone through many trials to get to this point, but I’d never been happier
than I was now, watching Joanie play on the beach outside our home.
The Akrellians and Thrax had helped us to build a beach house from
the raw materials we’d found in the forests beyond the beach. Nearby,
Thrax and Claire had built their own pioneer home, which I’d helped to
construct, and which Joanie had helped Claire decorate. It was good that we
were close to our friends, but still lived far enough away that we would
have privacy. My mate’s cries of pleasure could grow as loud as the sea
birds, and I loved it and would not have wanted her to control their volume
to avoid awakening our neighbors.
With the Akrellians’ help, we’d been able to construct the beginnings
of our homes quickly, but I would be adding on to our small cottage over
time, building rooms for Joanie to decorate. Though Joanie hadn’t asked for
one, Claire had told me that Joanie used to dream of living in a mansion
when she was a girl. I would give that to her, along with any other treasure
she might want. I would give her the entire galaxy if she asked for it.
Yet when I asked Joanie what new gift I might give her, she said she
had everything she’d ever wanted. “I have a home, and a man who loves
me. I have my family and my friends.” She’d then held her hand over her
abdomen. “Of course, there is one thing that I hope will someday add to my
blessings, but I would never ask for more than I have now.”
 I knew now why she did that, though I had been confused at the time.
My mate wanted to bear our children, though she was frightened about
getting pregnant. Afraid that it would end in heartache as all her other
pregnancies had. She’d told me about what she called my “smart sperm,”
and said that it would seek out only viable eggs. I hoped, more for her sake
than my own, that it would find them and make us a baby.
When it came to having children, I was uncertain how I felt about it.
Not that I wouldn’t love any child we created, but it was not the way of my
kind for the males to have anything to do with their offspring, and in fact,
now that I had the scientific name of my species, I understood more about
my homeworld and what I was.
Though I didn’t have Iriduan DNA, I wasn’t the same as the other
nemonius either. The nanites that had been injected into me had changed
much about me, including my lifespan. My species only lived for a little
over a decade at the oldest, which was probably a necessity given that our
size continued to increase as we aged. I had been a young adult when I was
captured, barely old enough to mate. Now, I would live for many more
decades at least, if not for over a century, according to the preliminary
studies of my nanites and tissue by the medical researchers here on
Hierabodos. However, in addition to increasing my lifespan, they inhibited
my growth, so that I would not grow any larger. Given that I liked fitting
most of myself into our home, I appreciated that I wouldn’t continue to
expand.
I still didn’t recall much from my own past, though I doubt there
would have been much to remember. My species spent the majority of our
time alone, hiding out from the leviathans that dominated the oceans of my
homeworld which ate everything they could catch. Even our own people
were a threat to us, as they posed constant competition for food and
territory. My memories of mating had been accurate. The females were
much larger than the males and would often attempt to kill them and eat
them after they deposited the seed threads.
Yet, despite what I was, I wanted to experience what it would be like
to raise my children in the fashion of my mate’s people. She spoke so
fondly of her mother, and now that my anger at Father had faded a bit, I
could remember fond memories of him as well. I wondered what it would
be like to be a parent to children of our own, to create good memories of us
in their minds, so that we too, would be fondly remembered.
Whether that happened or not, I was happy in the life I now had. I
worked with the Akrellian marine exploration team to tame these waters,
and thus far, I had not encountered another monster more terrifying than I
was. Our efforts were intended not to exploit the oceans, but to make use of
their resources, while still focusing on conservation of the native species.
Much of my responsibilities centered not only around deep diving, but also
sensing the water and the health of the surrounding lifeforms and ecosystem
to ensure that our colony didn’t put too much stress on it.
I took great pleasure in my work, and in my return home to spend my
leisure moments with my mate, doing just as we were doing on this sunny
day.
While I had been pondering our future, Joanie had set up the blanket
on the beach and was setting out the food she’d cooked in our kitchen. She
caught me watching her and waved me over.
I joined her by the blanket, careful not to accidentally kick sand on
the food with my writhing tentacles. She was a good cook, though she
insisted that she knew only the basics and wanted to learn much more. I
loved everything she made, but then again, I might have been biased. There
was nothing I didn’t love about her.
She leaned back on her palms and stared up at me as I sank onto my
tentacles next to the blanket. “It’s so beautiful here.”
I nodded, my gaze on her. It was difficult for me to look anywhere
else when she was around. I loved how the sunlight caught on the curls of
her hair, how it had tanned her pale skin to a warm peach, how the cool
breeze lifted the loose fabric of the cover-up she’d wrapped around her
waist to expose an expanse of firm thigh that my tentacle trailed along,
seeking the heat of her core. “Beautiful.”
She grinned at me, pushing my tentacle away from her inner thigh.
“Eat first, before it gets cold. Then we can have wild, crazy tentacle sex.”
I did as ordered, because there was nothing I wouldn’t do for my
mate. Also, because why wouldn’t I, with a promise like that? As we ate,
we talked. Joanie had taken a job at the marine research center, insisting
with a smile that she’d discovered a sudden and intense fascination for
aquatic creatures. The Akrellian researchers had been happy to welcome
her, despite her lack of experience. My mate had a keen mind and an
eagerness to learn that had her rapidly picking up the basics. I wasn’t
surprised. Her curiosity was as powerful as my own.
She liked her job, but it was the making of our home that excited her
the most. She spoke of all that she planned for it during our meal, and I
listened with a smile as I ate the amazing food she’d made for us. To me,
home had always been whatever safe crevice or cave I could find, but for
Joanie, it had been a dream that had seen her through a difficult life.
After our meal, we curled up together on the blanket “just cuddling,”
because Joanie insisted we needed to digest. I pulled her onto my chest, and
she lay atop me, propping her chin up with her hands. “So, you going to
show me the real Nemon?”
I frowned, unhappy with her words, though I knew the request would
be coming at some point. I could not hide that form of myself from her
forever. I’d already shown her some of my ability to shift more than just my
colors, though a simple shift of hair or facial features was easy enough that
it didn’t require much time or effort. Unbinding my bone lattice to sink into
my more amorphous true form wouldn’t take long, but pulling myself back
together again would be time consuming, and I couldn’t imagine she’d want
to be around me while I was in that form. “Are you certain that you must
see it? Can’t I just describe it to you?”
She shook her head, pulling herself towards my face to kiss my lips.
“I want to see it. I swear it won’t change how I feel about you.” She
snorted. “You know what Claire says Thrax uses for a mouth? I don’t think
anything can be worse than getting accustomed to that.”
I knew what Thrax’s mouth looked like, and I was certain she was
going to think what I looked like was worse. She didn’t understand now,
and I had been careful not to slip up and show her. “We are going on a short
dive tomorrow in the reef. I’ll show you then.” She was already scheduled
to dive with me and the rest of the research team, and it was going to be her
first real dive, though she’d spent whatever free time she had left training
with the equipment.
She sucked in a deep breath, then nodded, as if she wasn’t even
certain she wanted to see the real me. “Okay. That’s a plan then.”
At least there would be others around. I hoped that their presence
would mitigate the fear and disgust she might feel. The team had already
seen me shift form, and knew what my original form looked like.
 Chapter 34

JOANIE

I hadn’t had much time to grow accustomed to the diving equipment,

but it wasn’t like what we’d had on Earth. This was much sleeker, and
without the unwieldy fins and huge mask. Instead, we used special contact
lenses to see beneath the water, with only a small mask that fed oxygen to
us from a rebreather tank.
Despite the new experience, I wasn’t nervous because we were
diving, nor because it was in an alien ocean. This part of the reef was safe,
not that much could threaten me in the water when Nemon was around.
I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to check my reaction to what
Nemon was about to reveal in order to avoid hurting his feelings when he
showed me his true self. I knew I loved him and that nothing could change
that, but I didn’t know how much faith he had in that, since he had
procrastinated on showing me this side of him for fear that it would affect
how I felt. And while I knew that it wouldn’t change what I felt, I still
feared that I would be unable not to react to it, so it was with some
trepidation that I stared down at the water as the boat skimmed along the
surface.
Nemon had followed our progress out to the reef, swimming just
below the surface under the water, and it amazed me how fast he could
swim. He’d kept up with our motorized vessel without any sign of effort.
When we reached our destination, he popped his head out of water, his gaze
immediately seeking me as I tottered on the edge of the boat, double-
checking my equipment while the pilot dropped anchor. The rest of the
small team moved around me, prepping their specimen containers.
I took several deep breaths before I dived into the water, though I
didn’t need to because the mask would provide me plenty of air to breathe.
Assuming I didn’t panic at the sight of my mate. I braced myself, but I
couldn’t help the wave of anxiety that rushed through me with each moment
that brought me closer to this reveal—this reveal that I had insisted on.
 As soon as I splashed into the water, Nemon sank down under the
surface to follow my descent, so that we floated downwards across from
each other.
I’d seen him swim, but as we moved just beyond the shelf of the reef
—into deeper water—I saw him in a completely different way. He truly
looked like some ancient, primitive sea-god—a fanciful, impossible
creature of unnatural beauty and terrifying beastliness in one huge package.
His silken hair spread out around him, brushing past broad, muscular
shoulders and chest, curling around thick, strong biceps. Beneath his ribs,
his gills had opened, and below that, his webbing flexed and contracted to
help him descend, and then hold his position while his tentacles swayed in
the current.
At that moment, he looked like a dream to me—more beautiful than
anything I’d ever seen below water, or above it. His eyes watched me
intently as I grew accustomed to swimming in the diving gear at such a
depth. Then, after a few deep breaths, I nodded, gesturing to him to shift.
His lips tightened, and I could tell he wanted to object, yet again, but
couldn’t speak to me like this, not without a mask of his own, which he
obviously didn’t bother with, because it would involve inflating his lungs
underwater. I knew the moment he’d decided to just go ahead and get it
over with when his shoulders slumped. Then his form began to melt.
At least, that was what it looked like as it broke apart. His skin
softened, growing more pliable as the bone structure beneath it dissolved.
I was expecting a giant octopus. I’d been prepared for that, but that
wasn’t quite what I saw when Nemon’s mantle changed into his true form.
His upper body was only a bit larger than it was when he was taking on a
humanoid shape, but in the less structured form it seemed like a huge mass,
and in the currents, it didn’t form into a rounded shape like an octopus, but
rather rippled into a slightly elongated form—though it didn’t hold the same
shape continuously. It was clearly very malleable—almost amorphous.
His eyes had rounded out in shape, but had not grown larger as they
shifted down his body, closer to his webbing and gills. They were so small
in comparison to the rest of him that they almost seemed to disappear. It
was his mouth that was the most disturbing change in this new form. It had
inverted inside his body as he shifted, then reformed beneath his tentacles.
It was a horrifying maw filled with several circular rows of jagged teeth.
 His maw was huge, and I could tell he was reluctant to show it to me,
because at first he’d tried hiding it altogether beneath his tentacles, but I’d
pointed at my own mouth, wondering where his had gone, and he’d finally
lifted up his tentacles to show me.
It was large enough to swallow me whole if he were to capture me
with his tentacles and pull me towards him, and I realized that what I saw
when he was in his other form—what I had kissed—was only a portion of
that structure. The rest must be hidden inside his body when he was in the
form I that was more familiar to me.
He was right that I wouldn’t find this form pleasing. Everything about
it was strange—except for his tentacles, which were—oddly enough—
comfortingly familiar. Even though I thought I had braced myself for this
change, I’d been wrong. This was no cute little octopus. This was a deadly
creature from the deep out of a horror movie—not an aquarium.
I tried to keep my expression neutral, reminding myself that this was
my beloved Nemon, though my primitive brain wanted to swim away as
fast as I could possibly manage. I must have failed to hide my reaction,
because Nemon sank towards the bottom, dropping below me to a depth
where the light from above barely penetrated. I was too afraid to follow, to
dive that deep, though I didn’t believe he would allow me to descend
further than my equipment could handle.
Suddenly, below me, his body lit up with bioluminescence that trailed
along the length of it, down over his extended tentacles, like neon signs—
only far more subtle and beautiful. In fact, the light show was awe-
inspiring.
I realized that the display was meant for me. I needn’t fear that maw
of huge, jagged teeth. This monster loved me, and sought only to please me.
I’d forced him to show me what he truly looked like, but I’d already seen
what he truly was—a beautiful mate with three hearts and a soul that he’d
given freely to me.
I swam down towards him, and as soon as he noted my direction, he
surged up from the depths to meet me, his tentacles still glowing as they
curled around me. I reached out to touch his mantle as he pulled me close to
him. This was where I belonged.

*****
 We completed our dive with the rest of the team, and I was
exhilarated by the experience, but mostly by seeing Nemon at his most
basic. He was frightening, dangerous, and still beautiful. I’d been able to
watch him rebuild his other form as I swam around collecting my samples,
and it was an unnerving, but amazing, experience to see the muscles and
tissue under his skin shift into a firmer structure, as the face I loved formed
from the mass of his mantle, followed by his body, which took on the thick
musculature that I’d traced every inch of in our lovemaking.
I loved him, in all his forms. I had not doubted I would, but I knew
that he had. I hoped now that he could put that concern behind him.
At the marina, Nemon was waiting with me while I checked our
gear back into the station when someone approached. I didn’t note who it
was until I heard Nemon greet him.
“It has been too long, Tirel.”
I turned away from the quartermaster to see that the Akrellian Prime
Commander who had become a friend to us stood next to Nemon, in
clothing that for an Akrellian would be considered civilian clothing—in that
there wasn’t much of it. He had a wrap of fabric that covered his groin, and
a stylized collar around his neck, and that was the extent of his outfit, which
revealed a lot of eye-catching muscle covered by scales.
I’d been told that Akrellian males didn’t like to cover their quills
because they could actually shoot them at threats, using it as a defensive
measure. Obviously, space travel made things more complicated, since they
had to remain in environmental jumpsuits even when they weren’t doing
EVA, just in case they had an emergency, but on colony and homeworlds,
Akrellians wore hardly any clothing at all—when they were civilians. “You
look like you’re on vacation, Commander.”
He smiled at me. “Greetings, Madam Joanie. This world,” he
glanced at Nemon, “and its inhabitants, appear to agree with you. You’re
looking well.”
A tentacle curled around my waist, tugging me closer to Nemon.
I blushed at the complimentary tone, but didn’t think much of it.
Tirel’s demeanor didn’t seem as leisurely as his style of dress or his
greeting. “Is everything okay?”
 He stepped a bit closer to us. “Would it be possible to speak with
you in private?”
Nemon nodded, lifting one tentacle to point towards our home. “We
are pretty much finished here. We can return to our cottage to speak.”
Tirel followed us along the walkway to our cottage, all of us making
polite, generalized conversation. He asked us how we were getting along in
our new world, and we told him how happy we were, then he made some
vague comments about thinking it wouldn’t be a bad place to retire, and that
he was growing weary of space flight, though I knew he happened to love
the Star Dancer, and figured he’d want to remain as her commander until he
was a doddering old alien.
I wondered if Theresa had anything to do with this new uncertainty
in him. From the word I’d received, Theresa and Tarin had reported me
missing from the casino that terrible night and had returned to Star Dancer,
but their flight back to Earth couldn’t be delayed, so they’d had to make a
decision to stay with the Akrellians until a new flight could be arranged—
which could take months or even years—or they would have to take that
flight, despite not knowing what had happened to me.
I’d heard from Claire that they’d been torn up about it, but Tarin
truly missed her family, and Theresa couldn’t bear to remain on the Star
Dancer, so in the end, they’d made the Akrellians promise to update them
through the Lusians when I was found, and they’d taken their arranged
flight back to Earth.
I didn’t take it personally. I understood their reasoning. If I’d had
family at home, I would have wanted to return as soon as possible too, and I
hoped that once Tarin was dropped off on Earth, her family would not press
her too hard to explain where she’d been. As for Theresa, I was sorry that
whatever her issues were with Tirel, they couldn’t be worked out.
Somehow, I didn’t think those two would ever come to their senses. There’d
been finality in their last parting. At least, the parting that I had witnessed.
Obviously, I didn’t ask Tirel about Theresa, nor did I want to ask
about Tarin, because then my failure to ask about Theresa would have been
too obvious. Instead, we kept the conversation to neutral subjects, and by
the time we reached the cottage, we were talking about our work in
classifying and studying the marine environments of Hierabodos V.
 Once we were settled in our cozy home, where Nemon had spread
his tentacles all over the floors and walls in order to fit, I gestured to Tirel
to take a seat on the sofa and grabbed some drinks and snacks from our
small kitchen for his visit.
When I bustled back into the living room laden with a tray of fresh-
squeezed juice that was similar to lemons, only sweeter, and some cookies I
had recently baked, the two males were already deep in a conversation that
was decidedly less neutral than what we had spoken about on the walk
home.
I set the tray in front of them, and both men stopped talking long
enough to grab a drink and a cookie. Nemon actually snatched up a cookie
in three different tentacles, and I laughed, shaking my head at him. “Save
some for our guest.”
He raised the cookie to his mouth. “Can’t help it. So good!”
I heard Tirel chuckle beside me. “I must admit, these are very good.
Would it be okay for me to take an additional one?”
I nudged the tray closer to him. “You’d better grab a handful now, or
Nemon will sneak them all off the plate while you’re distracted.”
Tirel grinned, and it was the first time his smile met his eyes as he
leaned forward to grab a couple more cookies. “I’ll take your advice then.”
Once the cookie situation was resolved, I sat in my own chair, next
to where Nemon had settled, propped up on his tentacles so that he towered
over my chair. As soon as I sat down, his tentacles curled around me, some
wrapping around my calves and ankles, some lying over the top of the chair,
and a couple settling on my lap. He loved to just touch me. Even when we
weren’t being intimate, he wanted the contact. Since I loved touching him
too, the coziness of our home actually worked out well for us.
After Nemon’s tentacles had settled into a comfortable position, I
turned all my attention to Tirel. “So, as nice as it is to see you again, I
suspect that you didn’t come here for juice and cookies.”
Tirel swallowed the bite he was chewing, holding up what was left
of the cookie in his hand. “Had I known that these existed, I would have
made any excuse to visit.” His smile faded. “But it is true that I came here
to speak with you on another matter. It’s about the transmission.”
I glanced at Nemon, who turned to meet my gaze. His expression
was sad. “My father’s last transmission to the Akrellians from Ciparro’s
Javelin.”
I nodded, recalling that Halian had not retreated back to the shuttle
with Nemon to escape the destruction of the ship, but just before the blast,
the shuttle pilot had picked up an incoming encrypted transmission, along
with a message for Nemon from Halian.
The message had merely been an apology from Halian for what he’d
done, and what he’d failed to do. The encrypted portion had been a little
more difficult to decipher, and we still didn’t know what it said.
Tirel had finished his cookie by the time I turned my attention back
to him. “We are still uncertain if the transmission was sent from within the
ship or from a pod, but the likelihood of Professor Halian’s survival is
pretty low. Our real concern is the information he sent. We were finally able
to decipher it.”
I tensed, clenching my fingers together in my lap in both fear and
anticipation for what Tirel was going to say. “So, what did Halian risk his
life to send us?” I wondered if it had been worth it, and I still wasn’t sure
Nemon was able to forgive him, but I knew that despite his anger, he
grieved for the man he’d called father.
Tirel’s eyes gleamed. “The data he sent included coordinates and a
list of names. Some of them are the names of our missing warriors. We
believe they are the locations of other facilities where our men were taken,
especially since one of the names was not one of ours, but we’ve heard it
before. From Madam Claire.”
I’d had many conversations with Claire, but I couldn’t recall any
that mentioned names the Akrellians might be interested in, but then again,
we tended to skirt around any conversation that involved the research
facility. Nowadays, we liked to talk about our futures, not the pasts that still
haunted us. Someday, we should probably have a nice long group session
with a therapist, but the wounds were still too fresh. “Why is this name
important?”
“The name Nahash was mentioned to Claire during one of her
conversations with her captor, Professor Ilyan,” Tirel said. “We believe he
is another test subject like Thrax and Nemon.” He gestured to Nemon. “If
he possesses abilities that are anywhere near those of you and Thrax, we do
not want him as our enemy. We would prefer to make him an ally, but no
matter what, we need to put a stop to the experiment.”
 I remembered now a conversation early on that I had with Claire
about Thrax and Nemon. She’d said the Iriduans had revealed that there
were three giant monsters they’d captured for their experiments. “Oh, god,
is Nahash the huge serpent?” I wasn’t a fan of snakes, especially not giant
ones. From what Claire had said, the snake had been bigger than Nemon
and Thrax combined.
Tirel nodded. “We believe so. The nature of the experiment was not
made clear, only the names. We are not even certain what condition our
own warriors will be in when we find them.” His voice was brittle with
anger. “We have no idea what to expect.”
Nemon’s tentacles tensed on my lap. “Are you here to ask me to
aide you in recovering your warriors and this potential ally?”
Tirel shook his head. “I’m not here in an official capacity. If the
elders wish to ask your aide, they will do so themselves. I just wanted to
inform you that your father had sent valuable information to us—
information that can free our own warriors from the Iriduans. For this, the
Dancer honors him. I wanted you to know that.”
Nemon’s tentacles squeezed around my ankles as if seeking
comfort. “Thank you, Tirel. I appreciate that you’ve shared this with me.”
His tone gave away none of the emotion that I felt in the tentacles touching
me.
Tirel nodded, and then pushed himself to his feet, his waist wrap
parting to reveal a nice view of very muscular thighs before I quickly
looked away. He was a handsome alien, but there was no male I found more
handsome than my mate. “I shouldn’t take up any more of your time,” he
said, turning towards the door, revealing that the quills on his back were
lying as flat as possible, making only a slight hump. I knew from images I’d
seen of Akrellians in what they called a full combat “dance” that they were
intimidating when fully extended, but Tirel had no reason to feel threatened
in our home.
I jumped to my feet. “Oh, I was hoping you’d stay for dinner.”
He hesitated for a moment, then shook his head, his expression
seeming genuinely regretful. “I would like to, but I’m afraid that there are
things I need to take care of.” His wistful tone didn’t invite questions. His
gaze took in the décor in the living room. “You have a beautiful home here.
I am happy for you both.” He glanced at each of us, and then started for the
door. “I envy you.”
I rushed to open it for him, but Nemon’s tentacle beat me to it, since
he didn’t even have to move from his spot by my chair.
We bid our farewells to Tirel, and as he walked away, his quills
shifting with his steps, I wondered when—or even if—we’d see him again.
I returned to Nemon and settled in my chair, pulling his tentacle
back into my lap to stroke my fingers over it. “Do you think the Akrellians
will ask you to help them?” I wanted the answer to be “no.” It wasn’t that I
didn’t appreciate all that our new allies had done for us, but I knew that
Nemon wouldn’t be able to resist agreeing to such an adventure, and I
feared for his safety. Though he put himself in some danger each time he
went exploring in the oceans of our new world, I felt more confident that he
was going to return every evening than I would if he took off on a space
ship to hunt down those terrible Iriduan research facilities. I also knew that
the Iriduans would love nothing more than to recapture Nemon, and all the
nanites in his body. I couldn’t bear that thought.
At the same time, I wouldn’t tell him he couldn’t go, because I knew
he would listen to my words, but I wouldn’t want him to resent me for
speaking them. He was curious. About everything. What right did I have to
keep him from exploring and learning, and what right did I have to keep
him from helping our allies? I suspected Claire might find herself in the
same position, because if the elders asked for Nemon’s help, they would
probably ask for Thrax’s as well.
I decided I wouldn’t worry about that now. Instead, I would snuggle
with my mate, although given the way his tentacle burrowed between my
thighs, I didn’t think we were going to stop at snuggling, and I was more
than okay with that.
 Epilogue

JOANIE

The cemetery was a green jewel in the surrounding desert, and since
it was early morning, moisture from the sprinklers still glistened on the
thick blades of grass. The harsh desert sunlight would bake that moisture
away by late morning. The air was heavy with the earthy scent of mown
lawns and freshly-turned soil, lightened somewhat by a soft breeze carrying
the fragrance of cut flowers.
I stared down at the headstone. In Loving Memory of Helena
Elizabeth Campbell. Taken too soon from our lives, but never gone from our
hearts. There was a picture etched above the epitaph, one that caused tears
to well in my eyes. Her face was still so clear in my memories. The laser-
carved photo didn’t do it justice.
I was surprised to see fresh flowers in the marble vase that topped
the stone. It seemed that even after all these years, Brandon still
remembered my mother and continued to visit her grave. I didn’t know who
else would have brought her favorite tiger lilies—their vivid orange, spotted
petals providing a bright splash of color against the gray marble.
My baby squirmed in my arms, and I bent to kiss his fuzzy head. He
yawned and opened his eyes, staring up at my face with his alien pupils
stark against their pale gray irises. Other than his eyes, he looked a lot like
my mother had in the rare baby pictures she’d managed to get ahold of to
show me. I knew that he would be a spitting image of her. When he wanted
to be.
My attention was drawn away from my son as my daughter kneeled
in front of the headstone to add our own gift of lilies to the ones already in
the vase. After arranging them carefully, she turned her head to look up at
me, her gray eyes searching for my approving nod. Her face was almost a
mirror image of mine. For the moment. When she wasn’t feeling pleased
with me, she would change it just to spite me, but then again, she was going
through a difficult time dealing with puberty. We had many arguments now
that she was nearly thirteen, but she was still my sweet little girl, even
though I worried about her—and sometimes only Nemon could get her to
behave, and convince her to stop mimicking the neighbors for mischievous
purposes.
Today, she was on her best behavior, and had been for the last two
weeks, ever since we’d arrived on Earth and I took my first steps on my
homeworld after I’d been abducted so long ago. She seemed to understand,
even at her young age, that this was a serious occasion for me, and she’d
been fascinated with a world she had never been able to visit. Not until
now.
I’d come here on a pilgrimage, procrastinating my trip even after
things changed with humanity, and we were finally able to travel openly. I’d
needed to visit my mother. I’d wanted nothing more than to introduce her
grandchildren to all that remained of her other than the memories I still held
dear in my heart. I’d told them stories about how wonderful she had been,
how strong, how beautiful, how loving. Through my memories and those of
my children, I was determined to keep her alive, but the gravesite, beautiful
as it was, reminded me that she was gone, and I felt that grief as if it had
never had the time to fade.
Helen stood up again and slipped her warm hand into mine,
squeezing my fingers. “It’s okay, Mama. Don’t cry. Grandma’s still
watching over us. Just like you said.”
Tentacles curled around my shoulders, and I leaned back into my
mate’s embrace as he curled another tentacle around our son to take his tiny
burden from me so I could hold onto Nemon with both hands while I broke
down and cried.
He turned me around and tucked me against his chest, his tentacles
stroking my back as my daughter also hugged me, her little arms encircling
my waist, which had expanded over time and two pregnancies. My mate
still said he thought I was the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.
After I regained control of my emotions, I bid one last farewell to
my mother, doubting that I would make another trip to Earth. I had a new
home now, on Hierabodos V. I had become a top researcher—an expert in
the marine life of my new homeworld. I now had a degree equivalent to a
Ph.D. on Earth, and spent much of my time traveling to Akrellian and
Syndicate-controlled worlds speaking in forums about marine life and
colonial conservation efforts. My many papers on the subject were widely
published and were taught in galactic universities. My mate was one of the
most sought-after marine explorers in the galaxy, and we had earned far
more wealth in our lifetimes than we had any use for, but the true wealth we
had was the two precious children we’d been blessed with, and the powerful
love we shared for each other.
I never grew tired of loving Nemon. My body always craved his
touch, and each year he only seemed more beautiful and precious to me. I
couldn’t believe now how disturbed I had once been by the idea that he was
not the man I thought he was, when he turned out to be so much better.
I looked up into his face, ignoring the crowd of reporters that had
gathered beyond the boundaries of the cemetery, their photographers
snapping photos and taking videos of me and my family that would
undoubtedly go viral. We were accustomed to media attention now, and
humans couldn’t get enough of the aliens that now walked openly on their
planet.
“So, when do I get to try Starbucks?” my daughter asked, trotting
along on her two human legs beside me. No one in the crowd would guess
that she could turn those legs into tentacles, as we certainly didn’t advertise
their mimicking abilities. To the humans who stared at us, Nemon appeared
to be the only alien among us.
I glanced up at my mate. He was truly alien, and I loved everything
about him. He caught my eye and winked, then addressed our daughter.
“Your mother says that it’s not good for you to drink coffee. It will stunt
your growth.”
Helen stared up at him with consternation pulling her brows into a
little frown. “So, if I drink it, I won’t be ginormous like my dad?”
Nemon grinned. “That’s what I heard.”
She exhaled a disappointed sigh. “Ah, I really wanted to taste some
of it, too. Ava says her mom lets her drink it every time they come to
Earth.”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “I think we can make an
exception this time. After all, maybe we don’t want you to grow quite as
ginormous as your daddy. We’d have a hard time fitting you into our ship.”
“Yes!” She broke away from me to do a little spin as we neared the
private luxury shuttle that hovered above the sidewalk, waiting to take us
back to the resort area where we were staying. Our security team nodded to
us as we climbed into the large vehicle, which still wasn’t big enough to
allow Nemon to sit comfortably. He was accustomed to fitting into tight
spaces, and we were accustomed to being squeezed in along with him. We
made things work. It never ceased to amaze me how adaptable humans
were when it came to adjusting to bizarre new situations. Not only had I
proven that, but so had humanity.
 Author’s Note:
When I wrote The Scorpion’s Mate, I wasn’t sure how it would be
received, even though it was the first book I’d ever written based on
feedback from a romance forum thread I follow, where everyone was
looking for aliens that actually look like aliens. Several of us wanted to see
something more insectoid in an alien hero as a change of pace. I had
mentioned in that thread that I had an alien in mind that I had created for a
story a few years ago, which I never finished. In that story, the alien was the
antagonist. I’d even commissioned concept art to get a clear picture of what
Thrax would look like for that other book. I have changed him quite a bit
since then, and you can see the latest art at the end of this book, which most
closely reflects how I imagine him now.
Thanks to so much encouragement from that thread, I decided to go
ahead and give it a try and write the book. There were some very frustrating
moments (weeks) as I tried to get the story just right, and I restarted the
book five times, and wrote three complete (and completely different)
manuscripts before I finally understood Thrax’s character and story enough
to write The Scorpion’s Mate. Just like his appearance, his background has
come a long way since the first story where I dreamed him up.
One thing that didn’t change was my desire to keep him buddied up
with another character I had created for that previous story—and that was
Nemon. Nemon is part of the reason I didn’t finish the original story. I write
romance, and I was afraid that Nemon (who was the hero in that story)
might not be acceptable to my audience at the time. Like Thrax, he was
somewhat different then, although in his case, it is more his background
rather than his appearance that has changed. He has always been a tentacled
alien based on terrestrial cephalopods.
The support, wonderful feedback, and encouragement that I
received after I wrote The Scorpion’s Mate made all the difference in my
decision to publish Nemon’s story, and I’m so glad that I got that chance,
because I love his story so much. He has always been a fun character to
write.
These past few months have been so amazing for me when it comes
to my writing journey, and I owe it all to you wonderful readers. Thank you
so much for reading my books, and an additional thank you to those who
take the time to write reviews and spread the word about them to others.
There are so many of you to thank, so I can’t do it individually here or it
would turn into a second book, but I do want to say that I appreciate you all
so much. Your support is what keeps me writing and sharing my work.
The next book in the Iriduan Test Subject series will be Nahash’s
story, The Serpent’s Mate. I’m not sure when that will be completed, as I’m
working on The Key to the Dead Fall (which will be my next release),
which is the sequel to Into the Dead Fall. Then after that, I really want to
finish Uriale’s Redemption. My hope is that I will get time to work on
Nahash’s story while my other manuscripts are in their “cooling-off” phase.
(That’s the break I take before tackling revisions. Clearly, I’m not good at
taking breaks. :D) I should note that I’ve already outlined Nahash’s story,
and I can’t wait to write it, so… I may not be able to resist.
There are other stories planned in the same universe as the Iriduan
Test Subjects series, however, they will be a new series, as they will not be
test subjects. ;) Tirel’s book will fall into this new series, and I have some
ideas for some of the other species (particularly the Ultiman) that make up
the Syndicate. Some of those books will take place after aliens become a
more familiar sight on Earth. I do have one more “test subject” I’ve been
considering adding to this series, but I’m not certain if I should make any
promises at this point. His story isn’t fully fleshed out, and it might wither
on the vine when I write The Serpent’s Mate.
I didn’t intend to write any stories for Tarin and Theresa. I planned
to just send them on their merry way back to Earth and move on with other
stories, but both characters surprised me during this book, and now I’m
wondering if they shouldn’t get their own stories too. I have an idea for
Theresa (as I’m sure you could guess), but I still don’t have any firm plans
for Tarin. If you’re interested in seeing her appear in her own story, let me
know.
I love to hear from my readers! I try to spend a little time on
Facebook each week, but I’m not as active on social media as I probably
should be. However, I do update my Facebook page, The Princess’s
Dragon, whenever I have information about a new release. Also please
check out my blog: https://susantrombleyblog.wordpress.com/ where I also
post updates, sneak peeks, excerpts, deleted scenes, etc., or send me an
email at www.susantrombley06@gmail.com.
Thrax Concept Art and Character Sketch by Mike Alvear
 Susan Trombley’s other books:

Iriduan Test Subjects series

The Scorpion’s Mate (includes Into the Dead Fall)

Shadows in Sanctuary series

Lilith’s Fall
Balfor’s Salvation
Jessabelle’s Beast

Fantasy series—Breath of the Divine

The Princess Dragon
The Child of the Dragon Gods
Light of the Dragon