FINDING

G O D
THROUGH

SEX
 Awakenin
 Awakeningg the
the One of Spi
Spirit
rit
Through the Two of Flesh

david deida 
Foreword
Foreword by Ken Wilber 
 PRAISE FOR DAVID DEIDA 

“Finding God Through Sex  is the deepest, most alive, insightful book I
have ever read on the wonders and subtleties of sexuality as a spiritual path.
It inspires us to the knowing of total openness to who we are as the lover and
the beloved … until we disappear into love.”
GABRIEL COUSENS, M.D. Author of Spiritual Nutrition and the Rainbow Diet 

“David Deida’s writings give both men and women rare insight into the pro-
 found and transformative realms of spiritual sexuality.”
CHARLES MUIR Author of The Art of Conscious Loving 

“The openness, the love! What lively new language David Deida finds for
the unsayable!” COLEMAN BARKS Author of The Essential Rumi 

“In the area of sacred intimacy, David Deida is holding a lightening bolt.
He sheds an astonishing light.”
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON Author of A Return to Love 

“David Deida’s teachings on this central human concern, sexuality, emanate

 from a deeply trustworthy source. He has undergone his own rigorous training
and practice, which manifests in precise, gentle, and thorough teachings. Many
spiritual traditions, including Zen, have excluded or marginalized the sexual
experience. David’s work fills this gap, and gives us a mature approach for
bringing the energetic, emotional, and physical experience of sex into our life
and practice. And like Zen, the fruition of David’s work is openness, compas-
sion, and love.” GENPO ROSHI Author of The Eye Never Sleeps

“Finding God Through Sex is an enlightened, uninhibited sexual guide

 for anyone seeking to improve mind, body, and intimate relationship. David
 Deida practically and skillfully brings the ancient knowledge of integrating
sex and spirit to the modern couple. Enjoy!”
HAROLD BLOOMFIELD, M.D. Author of How to Survive the Loss of a Love 

“He pulls no punches and brooks no weaknesses … his insights about male/ 
 female interaction can’t help but stimulate a more active understanding of this
complicated dynamic than a galaxy of Mars/Venus clones.”
NAPRA REVIEW

“David Deida must have the biggest balls in contemporary spirituality. Being
able to teach and live integrated sex, relationship, and transcendence is no
easy task. It requires immense courage, wisdom, and, above all, fearless lov-
ing. In Deida, all this gets included in one radical teaching. Deida gracefully
illuminates and integrates the rawness of sex, the polarity of the masculine/ 
 feminine relationship, and the heart’s true desire to transcend it all. Through
the communion of duality in its most obvious play, the realization of Love/ 
Oneness that lies at the very heart of us is recognized. Deida is this love’s
true poet, helping us to get real, get wild, open up, and be truly liberated.”
VIJAY RANA The Watkins Review 

“I have been exploring the subject of sacred sexuality for more than ten years
and find David Deida’s perspective radical, profound, and extremely effective.
In David’s teaching, sex becomes an adventure in opening to love, as love. His
deep insights on the differences between masculine and feminine spirituality
are unique and unparalleled in my experience. His wisdom has touched me
 profoundly and I recommend his work to anyone who wants to transform
their sexuality and their life.”
CYNTHIA CONNOP Producer/director of the films Sacred Sex and Secrets of Sacred Sex
FINDING
GOD
THROUGH

SEX
FINDING
GOD
THROUGH

SEX
 Awakening the One of Spirit
Through the Two of Flesh

david deida 
Foreword by Ken Wilber 
 Important Caution
Please Read This
Although anyone may find the practices, disciplines, and understandings in this book
to be useful, it is made available with the understanding that neither the author nor the
publisher are engaged in presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional, sexual,
or spiritual advice. Nor is anything in this book intended to be a diagnosis, prescription,
recommendation, or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional,
sexual, or spiritual problem. Each person has unique needs and this book cannot take
these individual differences into account. Each person should engage in a program of
treatment, prevention, cure, or general health only in consultation with a licensed, qual-
ified physician, therapist, or other competent professional. Any person suffering from
venereal disease or any local illness of his or her sexual organs or prostate gland should
consult a medical doctor and a qualified instructor of sexual yoga before practicing the
sexual methods described in this book.

Sounds True, Inc., Boulder CO 80306

© 2002, 2005 by David Deida

All rights reserved. First edition 2002
Second edition 2005

SOUNDS TRUE is a trademark of Sounds True, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner
without written permission from the author and publisher.

Published 2005
Printed in Canada

ISBN: 978-1-59179-273-4
eBook ISBN: 978-1-59179-850-7

Library of Congress Control Number: 2005924954

Previously published by Plexus, 2002 as Finding God Through Sex: A Spiritual Guide to
Ecstatic Loving and Deep Passion for Men and Women
 table of contents

Foreword …… XI

A Note to the Reader …… XIII

PART I: SURRENDER  …… 1
  1. Surrender Everything …… 7

2. Surrender Through, Not To …… 13

3. Surrender Only Into Love …… 17

 4. Surrender Beyond Emotions …… 23
5. Make Love to Obliterate Your Partner in Love …… 31

6. Let Go of the Body …… 41

7. Unguard Your Heart …… 51

PART II: OPENNESS  …… 67

8. Do Sex As Open Feeling …… 73

9. Free Attention in the Midst of Pleasure …… 93

10. Go Out, Not In …… 109

11. Always Make Love With the Divine …… 113

12. When Your Partner Hurts You, Give Your

Partner Love …… 125
13. Feel Through the Tension of Attention …… 139
 PART III: DESIRE  …… 149
14. Magnify Desire Through Sex …… 161

15. Convert Animal Lust to a Fury of Love …… 175

16. Use Desire As Transmitter of Gift …… 189

17. Never Break the Thread of Sex …… 201

18. Be Sexually Available to Love …… 217

19. Use Your Dark Side to Increase Energy …… 225

20. Use Domination and Submission to Magnify Desire

and Polarity …… 239
21. Embrace Your Darkest Desires in Love …… 251

PART IV: REMEMBRANCES  …… 259

22. Honor Feminine Inspiration …… 261
23. Combine Sexual Energy With Consciousness …… 265
24. Earn the Feminine’s Trust …… 269
25. Worship the Divine Through the Form of
 Your Partner …… 275
26. Do Sex to Serve Others …… 277

27. Do Sex to Enlighten the World …… 279

28. Make Love As If Death Were Imminent …… 281

David Deida Resources …… 283

About the Author …… 287