DOMESTIC ABUSE

Abuse can be defined as any action that intentionally harms another person.
Abuse is not limited to physical mistreatment, it can occur in the form of
 emotional abuse

o Verbal abuse – yelling, insulting, swearing,

o Intimidation – An abuser may display behaviour, physical or non-
physical, to intentionally instil fear in an individual. This fear can
make the individual act in a way that they normally would not like
agreeing or being complicit in situations that they morally oppose,
doing things that they do not want to do (sexual acts or causing
harm to someone else).
o Condescension – An abuser can belittle an individual through
sarcastic or demeaning comments to establish a sense of
superiority by explaining things the individual already knows,
interrupting to make menial corrections of the individual’s
grammar or pronunciation, backhanded compassion/compliments
like “For once I actually like your idea” or “Its simple, even you can
understand”
o Manipulation
o Gaslighting- An abuser can make an individual question their
sanity, perception of reality and memories to maintain authority
over that individual. The abuser may blame the individual for
things for the abuse that they experience, making them feel like
they deserve or caused it. The individual may then become
dependent on the abuser and the abuser can continue mistreating
them without getting stood up to.
Manipulation, Intimidation, Condescension and gaslighting tend to
go hand in hand.
o Humiliation – abusers criticize an individual in a non-constructive
manner to degrade them and make them feel bad about
themselves (physical appearance, actions, friends, family, beliefs).
This diminishes an individual’s confidence, leading to a greater
power imbalance between them and the abuser.
 o Financial abuse – Financial abuse is extremely common in
domestic abuse cases. a study by the Centers for Financial Security
found that over 90% of domestic violence cases also involved
financial abuse. Financial abuse involves controlling a victim's
ability to acquire, use, and maintain financial resources. Eg. The
victim may be prevented from working, to make them dependent
on the abuser.
o Neglect/isolation – An abuser can refuse to talk to an individual,
make eye contact or even intentionally avoid that individual as a
means of “punishment” or to make that individual work harder to
get their attention.
 Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity which a victim is forced or
manipulated into.
Victims may be unable to give consent because of lacking the mental
capacity to do so.
Eg. Persons under the influence of any substance, especially alcohol or
“date rape drugs” (drugs that are commonly used by rapists to make
their target excessively tired or unconscious), Minors- Statutory rape is
based on the notion that a person under a certain age cannot consent to
sexual contact or activity because he or she lacks the maturity or
judgement necessary to make a knowing choice about sexual activity.
Sexual abuse can also involve the intimidation/manipulation of an
individual who has the mental capacity to consent against their true will.
‘No’ means no but denying consent comes in many other forms. Often
times these victims try to avoid/stall through sexual attempts and
eventually agree due to fear or other emotionally abusive tactics like
those explained above.

DOMESTIC ABUSE

Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV),

dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviours used by
one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an
intimate relationship.
Persons of any gender, race, sexuality, religion or class can experience
domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse is almost always characterized by a power imbalance
between the abuser and the victim that the abuser has worked to gain
the higher end of.
“domestic violence” includes physical, sexual, emotional or psychological
or financial abuse committed by a person against a spouse, child, any
other person who is a member of the household or dependant

STATISTICS
Data from the Crime And Problem Analysis (CAPA) Branch of the
Trinidad & Tobago Police Service (TTPS) revealed that there were
approximately 11,441 reports relating to domestic violence incidents
between 2010 and 2015. Approximately 75% of these reports were
related to female individuals. During the same period there were 131
domestic violence related deaths of which 56% were female.

Population Services International Caribbean surveyed 723 women

between the ages of 18 and 49 in three counties (137 in Caroni, 432 in
St. George and 154 in Victoria) from December 2014 to January 2015.
The findings showed that 138 respondents experienced some form of
physical violence, 90 experienced sexual violence and 186 experienced
emotional abuse from their most recent or current partner
 SIGNS
 Sexual pressure
 Preventing or discouraging you from spending time with friends, family
members, or peers.
 Financial abuse (see eg)
 Pressuring to do drugs or alcohol
 Destroying your belongings
 Belittling you and making fun of your appearance or interests
 Humiliating, insulting or demeaning you when you’re alone or with other
people
 Making you question your sanity / intelligence
YOU MAY BE EXPERIENCING DOMESTIC ABUSE IF YOU

Do you...

 Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?

 Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?
 Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something
about yourself?
 Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
 Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
 Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if
you broke up?

SAFETY

this part is directly from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/getting-out-

of-an-abusive-relationship.htm

Know your abuser’s red flags. Stay alert for signs and clues that your
abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence. Come up with
several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the
day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing.

Identify safe areas of the house. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or

an argument starts. Avoid small, enclosed spaces without exits (such as
closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If
possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.

Come up with a code word. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use
to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you’re in
danger and they should call the police.

Make an escape plan

Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Keep the car fueled up and facing

the driveway exit, with the driver’s door unlocked. Hide a spare car key where
you can get to it quickly. Have emergency cash, clothing, and important phone
numbers and documents stashed in a safe place (at a friend’s house, for
example).

Practice escaping quickly and safely. Rehearse your escape plan so you

know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser. If you have children,
make sure they practice the escape plan also.
Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts. Ask several trusted
individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or help
contacting the police. Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts,
local shelter, and domestic violence hotline.

HOW TO GET HELP



https://www.undp.org/content/dam/unct/caribbean/docs/20181011%20AF
%20Trinidad%20and%20Tobago%20Health%20for%20digital.pdf
https://evaw-global-database.unwomen.org/en/countries/americas/trinidad-
and-tobag
http://www.opm-
gca.gov.tt/Gender/GenderInitiatives/DomesticViolenceReport(s)
https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse-4155224
https://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/sex-
crimes/statutory-rape-charges-punishment-defense
https://www.1202.org.il/en/union/info/what-is-sexual-abuse
Wikipedia for basic definitions
https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-is-emotional-abuse
https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/understand-relationship-abuse/
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/what-is-verbal-abuse