BULLYING

Issaiah Nicolle L. Cecilia

1 NRS – 1
Dr. Aurora Alvarez Bato
 Bullying
Bullying is when people repeatedly and intentionally use words or actions against someone or a
group of people to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing. These actions are usually done by
people who have more influence or power over someone else, or who want to make someone
else feel less powerful or helpless.
Bullying is not the same as conflict between people (like having a fight) or disliking someone,
even though people might bully each other because of conflict or dislike.

The sort of repeated behavior that can be considered bullying includes:

 Keeping someone out of a group (online or offline)
 Acting in an unpleasant way near or towards someone
 Giving nasty looks, making rude gestures, calling names, being rude and impolite, and
constantly negative teasing.
 Spreading rumors or lies, or misrepresenting someone (i.e. using their Facebook account
to post messages as if it were them)
 Mucking about that goes too far
 Harassing someone based on their race, sex, religion, gender or a disability
 Intentionally and repeatedly hurting someone physically
 Intentionally stalking someone
 Taking advantage of any power over someone else like a Prefect or a Student
Representative.
Bullying can happen anywhere. It can be in schools, at home, at work, in online social spaces,
via text messaging or via email.
It can be physical, verbal, emotional, and it also includes messages, public statements and
behavior online intended to cause distress or harm (also known as cyberbullying). But no matter
what form bullying takes, the results can be the same: severe distress and pain for the person
being bullied.

Types of Bullying
There are many different types of bullying that can be experienced by children and adults alike,
some are obvious to spot while others can be more subtle. The different types of bullying that we
look at below are some of the ways that bullying could be happening.
 Physical bullying - Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and
pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term
damage.
 Verbal bullying - Verbal bullying includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation,
homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off
harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target. Keep reading
in this section for techniques to deal with verbal bullying.
 Social bullying - Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often
harder to recognize and can be carried out behind the bullied person's back. It is designed
to harm someone's social reputation and/or cause humiliation. Social bullying includes:
 lying and spreading rumors
 negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks
 playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate
  mimicking unkindly
 encouraging others to socially exclude someone
 damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance.
 Cyber bullying - Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviors using digital
technologies, including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such
as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms. Cyber
bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only
known to the target and the person bullying. Cyber bullying can include:
 Abusive or hurtful texts emails or posts, images or videos
 Deliberately excluding others online
 Nasty gossip or rumors
 Imitating others online or using their log-in

Effects of Bullying
Bullying can affect everyone—those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness
bullying. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health,
substance use, and suicide. It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying—or
something else—is a concern.

Kids Who are Bullied

- Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues.
Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:
- Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep
and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may
persist into adulthood.

Health complaints
- Decreased academic achievement—GPA and standardized test scores—and school
participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.
- A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent
measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of
being bullied.

Kids Who Bully Others

- Kids who bully others can also engage in violent and other risky behaviors into
adulthood. Kids who bully are more likely to:
- Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults
- Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school
- Engage in early sexual activity
- Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults
- Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults

Bystanders
- Kids who witness bullying are more likely to:
- Have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs
- Have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety
- Miss or skip school
 Signs of bullying
Emotional and behavioural signs of bullying
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Changes in eating patterns
- Frequent tears or anger
- Mood swings
- Feels ill in the morning
- Becomes withdrawn or starts stammering
- Becomes aggressive and unreasonable
- Refuses to talk about what is wrong
- Begins to target siblings
- Continually 'loses' money or starts stealing.
Physical signs of bullying
- Has unexplained bruises, cuts, scratches
- Comes home with missing or damaged belongings or clothes
- Comes home hungry.
- School signs of bullying
- Doesn't want to go to school
- Changes their route to school or are frightened of walking to school
- Doesn't want to go to school on the bus/tram/train
- School grades begin to fall.
- Other signs of bullying
Sometimes signs bullying can be far more hidden. They can include:
- Often alone or excluded from friendship groups at school
- A frequent target for teasing, mimicking or ridicule at school
- Unable to speak up in class and appears insecure or frightened.

How to Stop Bullying

 The first recommended step is to try to get your child to open up about what's happening in
their life by showing them that you understand, and won’t judge them.
Listen
 Try to listen to the whole story without interrupting. Be empathetic, calm and show you
understand what the child is saying. They might need to tell their story more than once.
Talk
 Have a conversation about what happened. Try not to let your very understandable emotions
(anger, distress...) show. Your feelings can intensify the child's or make it worse for them and
might even deter your child from talking to you another time.
 Remind your child it's normal to feel hurt, it's never OK to be bullied.
 Tell them the behaviour was intentional, meant to hurt and won't just go away.
 Ask your child what they would like to happen. Often all they want to know is how to stop
the bullying. Children may feel that if the perpetrator is punished, it will be worse for them in
the long run.
Find out what is happening
 Note what, when and where the bullying occurred, who was involved, how often and if
anybody else witnessed it. Don't offer to confront the young person or their parents yourself.
This might make things worse for your child.

Contact your child's school

 Bullying arises from social situations - family, school, clubs, and work - and if possible,
cases of bullying are best dealt with where they occur. In children's lives, school is the most
common location for bullying. It's therefore important you alert the school to the situation, as
they may not be aware of it.
 Don't assume the school will know about the situation, because your child may not have told
them. The majority of children and teenagers do not disclose to teachers or parents. Be
confident that once alerted the school will want to stop bullying behaviour as much as you.

Here are some tips to guide your discussions with the school:
 Make an appointment to speak to your child's teacher or coordinator.
 Check your school's bullying/online bullying policy. This may be contained within the
behaviour or wellbeing policy. It might be available on the school's website or printed in the
school diary. Note what the policy promises to do to keep children safe from harm and
respond to the situation.
 Take along your notes about the situation or screen-shots, texts etc. It's often difficult to
remember specific details.
 Find out if the school is aware of the bullying.
 Ask what is being done to ensure your child's safety.
 Ask for a follow -up appointment to ensure the situation is being addressed. The school may
ask you to attend a restorative conference. If so, they will explain to you what is involved.
 If your child asks to stay home from school, explain it won't help - and may make things
worse.
 You can find more suggestions here.

Give Sensible Advice

 Encourage your child not to fight back, but coach them to use neutral, or (if appropriate)
joking language in response and help them explore other possible responses. You can read
about a technique called ‘fogging' here.

Other useful advice includes:

 Tell them that the behaviour was intentional and it won't just go away
 Explain it's safer to avoid people, places or situations that could expose them to further
bullying
 If your child asks to stay home from school, explain that it won't help - and may make things
worse
 If possible, help to make opportunities for them to join other groups of young people - e.g.
clubs at school or other groups outside of school time.