CLAUDE

GARTH
CRYSTAL
DWIGHT
DOUG
JANICE
OZ
controllers
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Beverley
Pilot 1
Pilot 2
Pilot 3
Pilot 4
Pilot 5
Pilot 6
Pilot 7
Pilot 8
Pilot 9
Pilot 10
Pilot 11
Pilot 12
Flight Attendant
Diane
Nick
Bob
Hannah
Kevin T
Bonnie
 CLAUDE Port Aux Basque. So if you see me running red lights or
I starts my day at Tim Hortons. Don’t drink coffee. Don’t anything, just forgive me because we don’t have stop
drink tea. And I’ve no use for donuts. But I’ll grab a lights over there.
Pepsi and get a lay of the land. As the mayor, it’s how I CLAUDE
keep in touch with the people and such. Everything Well, welcome to Gander, Janice.
starts and ends at Tim Hortons. DWIGHT
Claude enters Tim Hortons. Janice.
Morning, Garth. GARTH
GARTH Janice.
Morning, Claude. DOUG
CLAUDE Janice.
Morning, Crystal. CRYSTAL
CRYSTAL Janice.
Morning, Mr. Mayor. CLAUDE
CLAUDE If you’re looking for news, you should talk to that man
Dwight. running in here. That’s our constable, Oz Fudge. He’s
DWIGHT full of stories.
Morning, Claude. Garth. Crystal. Oz runs in.
DOUG OZ
Claude. Crystal. Dwight. Garth. Morning. Mister Mayor, I saw your car in the lot. Crystal, turn up
CRYSTAL the radio so’s we all can hear. Doug, you probably want
Morning, b’ys. Pepsi? to get down to air traffic control right away.
CLAUDE DOUG
That’s right, Crystal. What’s the news? There’s only supposed to be two air traffic controllers
DWIGHT on, but instead there’s fourteen.... Everyone’s heard
School bus strike still on? and they all shows up without even being asked. We’re
CLAUDE told there’ll be over two hundred planes getting
Ahya. We’re working it out. diverted across the country. Everyone becomes air
GARTH traffic controllers as the bodhran starts beating slowly.
Well, we’re coming to the table. DOUG
CLAUDE Lufthansa four one four, this is Gander Centre—squawk
Well, we’re coming to the table too. code seven two tree five. Due to a
DWIGHT recent development, you are ordered to land at Gander
Are they tearing down the airport? YQX immediately. Copy that. This is an order.
CLAUDE 12/10 (CONTROL)
Not today. Roger Lufthansa four one four. Turn right heading one
DOUG niner zero degrees. You are cleared to flight level two
I heard Don Burton and his wife won the Super 7! four zero. Speedbird one one seven—squawk code two
CLAUDE tree five. This is Gander Centre. You’re radar identified
You don’t say. —now cleared to Gander YQX via present position
DWIGHT direct.
Lucky shit. 8/7(CONTROL)
DOUG Alitalia six four four, reduce speed to one zero five. You
4.6 million. are ordered to land your aircraft at
They all whistle. Janice enters. Gander YQX immediately. American airspace has been
JANICE closed. you are cleared to six thousand feet Gander
Excuse me, I’m looking for the mayor. altimeter tree zero zero one. Roger one one tree.
Everyone points at Claude. Cleared flight level two four zero.
Mr. Mayor—I’m Janice Mosher with Rogers TV. I’m 9/2/1(CONTROL)
new. To town—and new to reporting. It’s my first day. Sabena five tree niner, Gander—winds two one zero
CLAUDE degrees five knots. You are cleared to
Where you longs to, Janice? land runway two two. Thank you five tree niner, vector
JANICE for runway two two. Turn left heading two five zero to
 Intercept the localizer. Cleared straight in back-course
runway two two.
11/4 (CONTROL)
Delta one five—Gander Centre—I show you on the
localizer eight miles final. Contact tower
now on frequency one one eight decimal one. Thank
you one five. Air New Zealand eight
five two, squawk code seven two tree five. This is
Gander Centre.
5/6(CONTROL)
Aer Lingus one oh five, the U.S. airspace has been
closed. You are ordered to land at Deer
Lake YDX or Gander YQX. Roger two two seven. Turn
left heading one five zero degrees and proceed.
After five seconds, Actor 9, 10, and Doug continue. All
others continue underneath.
CONTROL 9
No, sir. You do not have a choice.
CONTROL 10
No, sir. This is not a drill.
DOUG
Yes, sir. I understand you have VIPs onboard. I’ll see
your VIPs and raise you an international emergency.
Land your plane now.
Everyone becomes pilots. The bodhran builds in
intensity.
BEVERLEY
Copy that, Gander Tower.
PILOT 5
This is Air France.
PILOT 1
Aer Lingus
PILOT 9
Lufthanza
PILOT 8
British Airways
PILOT 7
Emirates
BEVERLEY
This is American four niner. What am I supposed to tell
my passengers?
PILOT 10
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
There’s been an incident in the United States.
PILOT 7
We’re having trouble with the... cabin lighting system.
We’re just going to touch down while we fix the system.
PILOT 2
Meine Damen und Herren, hier ist Ihre Pilotin. Aufgrund
eines terroristischen Vorfalls in den
Vereinigten Staaten müssen wir in Kanada landen.
PILOTS 10/8
This is your pilot speaking. We’ll be making an
unexpected detour. The U.S. airspace is
closed and we are being diverted. I will provide more
details as they become available.
PILOTS 1/6/11
Ladies and Gentlemen: Can I have your attention?
We’ve received word that there has
been an incident in the U.S. that will require us to make
an unscheduled stop in Gander, Newfoundland.
PILOTS 4/5/12
Mesdames et messieurs, nous allons faire un court arrêt
à Gander, Terre-Neuve pour faire le plein d’essence.
Merci beaucoup pour votre compréhension.
PILOTS 9/7
Damas y caballeros, por favor regresen a sus asientos y
abróchense sus cinturones. Vamos a aterrizar en
Terranova.
The cast makes a flight attendant button “BOONG-
BOONG” noise, as everyone becomes passengers, facing
sideways
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Ladies and Gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts.
Looks like we’ll be making an unexpected landing in
Gander, (mispronouncing it) Newfoundland.
The passengers start murmuring restlessly. The flight
attendant turns to the audience, and the passengers
freeze.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT (CONT’D)
Anybody in the business knows when you set down in
Gander, it’s for an emergency. Now, we don’t know
what’s going on, but the captain tells us to keep
everyone from panicking.
The flight attendant turns back, as the passengers
unfreeze.
Tray tables up, please. We will be dimming the lights in
the cabin. Pushing the light-bulb
button will turn your reading light on; however, pushing
the flight-attendant button will not turn your flight
attendant on.
One of the passengers, Diane, turns toward her window.
DIANE
I look out the window to see if there’s something
mechanical—like if we’ve lost an engine or if
something’s on fire. But I don’t see anything.
Another passenger, Nick, turns toward his window.
NICK
I told head office I need to travel less—I told them it
was doctor’s orders. But they say, “You’re going to the
conference,” so you go.
Bob turns toward his window.
BOB
My dad is always saying, Bob, you’ve got to calm down. THIRTY-EIGHT THIRTY-EIGHT
But the flight attendant is shaking like a leaf, so I figure THIRTY-EIGHT THIRTY-EIGHT
I’ve got permission. PLANES
Hannah turns toward her window. JANICE (to the cameraman)
HANNAH Is this on? Sorry. I’m new (she turns to the camera). This
My son sends me on this vacation—he says, “Mom, is Rogers TV Channel 9. My
you’ve never gone anywhere.” And when I get back, I’m name is Janice Mosher and I’m reporting live from
telling him—this is exactly why. Gander Airport where the nineteenth plane has just
Kevin T turns toward his window. touched down. I’m here with...
KEVIN T BONNIE
Suddenly, there’s a drop. Bonnie Harris. On a normal day, we get a half dozen
The group drops, with a gasp. flights, and now we’ve already got
A sudden change in direction. And I fly a lot, so I know three times that many landing in two hours. It’s a lot of
that’s not normal. Outside the noise. You can smell the fuel. You can smell the exhaust.
window, all I can see below are trees and rocks and... OZ
nothing. Jaysus, that’s a jumbo! There’s gotta be two-fifty or
BEVERLEY three hundred on her. That’s a fairly
On final approach, we’re coming into runway two-two, large one, there’s gotta be two hundred on her—now,
and I think, "Where am I going to park this thing?" I’m adding this up. We got 38 planes —we got two,
There are planes lined up like sardines. And as far as I three hundred people on the average...
can see there’s cars lined up too. It looks like everybody Holy shit!
in Newfoundland is here.
The townspeople stand looking upward.
ALL UNLESS SPEAKING
(one at a time, then building together)
ONE PLANE THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN
THIRTEEN PLANES THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN
NINETEEN PLANES THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN
TWENTY-SIX PLANES
THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN
TWENTY-NINE PLANES
THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN
THIRTY-TWO PLANES
THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN ANOTHER
AND THEN
THIRTY-EIGHT THIRTY-EIGHT