MAINSTREAM

Original Screenplay

by

Gia Coppola

American Zoetrope FIRST DRAFT

916 Kearny St. July 31, 2014
San Francisco, CA 94133
(415) 788-7500
1 EXT. LOS ANGELES, INNER CITY - DAY

A parade of trucks haul a giant ROCK to a museum, inching

their way through streets of the business district, past
‘Angels Flight’ and Skid Row.

MAIN TITLE: “MAINSTREAM”

2 EXT. BARRIO - CONTINUOUS

The ‘rock’ caravan moves past pinata shops where little

Mexican children chase and wave to the construction workers
who walk alongside the rock, waving back and blasting from
the truck’s stereo “We Will Rock You” by Queen. CREDITS
continue.

3 EXT. HANCOCK PARK - CONTINUOUS

Luxurious cars and affluent white people honk their horns in

frustration because of the traffic and blocked off streets.
One person on the side yaps while his car is being ticketed
and towed to make more room on the street for the large
trucks to pass through.

4 EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. - CONTINUOUS

The parade of trucks carrying the rock move on Hollywood

Blvd., where tourists crowd around holding their cell phones
in the air trying to take pictures as if they were doing some
alien salutation. CREDITS conclude.

Suddenly there’s a LOUD SNAPPING SOUND and the crowd moves

forward. Everyone is safe but a bracket has broken and the
huge rock rolls down, embedding itself in the middle of
Hollywood Blvd. The cops and construction workers crowd
around scratching their heads wondering what to do.

Across the street we SEE a building with a glass elevator

going up and down.

5 INT. BREAKER STUDIOS, ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

TWO EMPLOYEES in the rising exterior glass elevator gossip

while the chaos of the rock is happening in the b.g.

COPY BOY
What time is it?

(CONTINUED)
 2.
5 CONTINUED:

SECRETARY
Quarter to two. Perfect timing for
you know whooo?

COPY BOY
You think she’s gonna pitch another
conceptual fuck weed idea?

Elevator doors open on the second floor. A FILM EDITOR, male,

steps into the conversation.

SECRETARY
Mamma mia! I hope so.

EDITOR
You’re talking about “you know
who?”

SECRETARY
‘Scarface’?

COPY BOY
(mocking girl voice)
Let’s give the world peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches because art is
about making people happy.

The elevator doors stop, MANAGER, female with eyeglasses

puffing on an electronic cigarette, and LAWYER, a young man
wearing a suit, walk into the conversation.

LAWYER MANAGER
Hey!!! Hey!!!

The elevator doors close. The others know immediately who

they’re talking about.

SECRETARY
(continuing)
She only moved to L.A. 3 months ago
and she’s been here practically all
the time trying to give old man
Woldridge her resume. Girl’s got a
lot of time on her hands.

MANAGER
Where’d she move from?

COPY BOY
Florida, I think.

(CONTINUED)
 3.
5 CONTINUED:

MANAGER
They say she’s got part-time jobs
all over the city.

EDITOR
Just doesn’t give up, huh? I can’t
imagine what it must be like to
date her. What’s with that scar?

LAWYER
I think she’s pretty.

The elevator stops, the doors open, and FRANCESCA “FRANKIE”

DE LA SANTE enters, an ambitious young woman with dark brown
hair and sideswept bangs that attempt to cover an old scar
that travels from her right eye down to her chin. Her
presence stops their gossip.

COPY BOY
(to secretary)
Lunch was good today.

SECRETARY
Yeah. We should go back there.

EDITOR
Carne asado tacos... they’re good.

Frankie steps out and the VIEW follows her.

6 INT. BREAKER STUDIOS RECEPTION - CONTINUOUS

Frankie steps in. The office looks like a fun and inventive
place to be; all white with art deco curved corners and neon
tubing that trims the ceiling.

The two employees behind her walk past the waiting room
towards their cubicles behind the Plexiglas wall. They eye
the RECEPTIONIST like “look who’s here!...”

The receptionist rolls her eyes.

RECEPTIONIST
Hi Frankie. You’re not scheduled
for an appointment today.

FRANKIE
I know, I was just checking if Mr.
Wolridge got my proposal.

RECEPTIONIST
Yes, he has it.

(CONTINUED)
 4.
6 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Do you think you could just let him
know I’m here and maybe if he has
time I could just explain a few
things?

RECEPTIONIST
You know, I know he really
appreciates all your dedication but
it’s still the same as before,
sweetheart, we’re just not hiring
right now.

CLOSE on Frankie looking at her blankly. Frankie hands her a

waxed paper wrapped peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D)
Thanks. Just stay on standby. OK?

FRANKIE
Sure... standby...

Frankie, glum, turns around to exit.

CLOSE on the receptionist leaning over her desk to make sure

Frankie has left.

CUT TO:

7 INT. BEVERLY HILLS RESTAURANT - NIGHT

WIDE PUSH IN: Frankie works as bar-back behind an antique

copper bar in the center of an elegant French restaurant. Her
hair is up in a ponytail, she’s wearing a white oxford shirt,
with a black vest and little bow tie, but she can’t seem to
keep her shaggy bangs out of her eyes as she polishes
glassware and listens in on other people’s conversations.

Frankie discreetly nudges her hair out of her face. One of

the MANAGERS, a tiny woman with buck teeth and a super short
bob haircut wearing a headband comes up to her.

MANAGER
(sweetly)
Frankie, I couldn’t help but notice
that you touched your hair and then
touched the glass right afterwards.
(just saying it out loud
makes her shudder)
I know it might be hard to resist,
but it’s just not very hygienic. So
maybe let’s think about wearing a
headband next time around.

(CONTINUED)
 5.
7 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Sorry.

MANAGER
(sings)
Thank you!

The manager puffs her chest, straightening her shoulders to

indicate Frankie should also do the same -- and take her
hands out of her pockets.

VIEW ON ANTHONY

The lead bartender, ANTHONY, a fit and hairless-looking dude

with spiked black hair and waxed eyebrows, flirts with a
petite waitress named JENNIFER who looks like Carmen Electra;
wears her hair in a perfect bun.

ANTHONY
No it’s messed up.

JENNIFER
It’s not like I haven’t done
anything bad before. You’d be
surprised.

ANTHONY
I don’t believe it.

JENNIFER
I don’t know... c’mon tell me what
you did!

ANTHONY
Alright but it’s fucked up. You’d
hate me.

JENNIFER
Try me.

ANTHONY
I cheated.

Tight-lipped, holding the punch line...

JENNIFER
Uhhh. Yeah... so?

ANTHONY
The night before my wedding.

JENNIFER
Oh snap!

(CONTINUED)
 6.
7 CONTINUED:

Anthony notices Frankie listening in on his conversation.

ANTHONY
Frankie!

He shakes the trash, showing how full to the brim it is with

glass bottles. Frankie gets the hint, goes over to take the
trash out but she can’t lift it because it’s heavy so she
drags it.

ANTHONY (CONT’D)
(shaking his finger at
her)
Uh uh uh! Don’t drag it.

FRANKIE
(whining)
It’s really heavy, maybe you can
help me?

ANTHONY
I can’t leave. Build some muscle.

Frankie groans and does her best to lift it but has to take
periodic breaks.

NEW VIEW

CLOSE on all the chefs rapidly cooking in the kitchen and

screaming at each other.

Just as Frankie is braving the walk through the kitchen with

glass bottles precariously balanced, one of the HISPANIC
BUSBOYS (20) sees her.

BUSBOY
You break glass it’s your ass!

She almost drops it. The busboy offers to help her.

FRANKIE
No, no, no, I got it. I think.

Frankie gives the trash bag another hefty lift but it’s
apparent she’s struggling. The busboy laughs and just takes
it from her.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
Are you sure?

(CONTINUED)
 7.
7 CONTINUED:

BUSBOY
Yeah. It’s no problem.
(jokingly shows off his
muscles)

FRANKIE
I’ll take your place.

NEW VIEW

Frankie goes to take his place in the polishing brigade. A

WAITER enters, scooping out an untouched salmon rillette into
the trash.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
I can’t believe how much food gets
wasted.

BUSBOY 2
I can’t believe I did a double
shift this morning.

FRANKIE
You did a double shift?!

BUSBOY 2
Yeah, every day, and I live in
Reseda, so I get up around 4 to
catch the bus.

FRANKIE
Geez! TGIF right?

BUSBOY 2
Not till Christmas...

FRANKIE
(pauses)
Oh.

BUSBOY 2
Do you do anything else besides
this?

FRANKIE
Uhhhh. I’m an artist, I guess.

BUSBOY 2
That’s cool... I took a graphic
design class once. I’m saving up so
I can get a computer. You have a
computer?

(CONTINUED)
 8.
7 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Yeah.

BUSBOY 2
What kind?

FRANKIE
MacBook...

BUSBOY 2
I like Dell. You know that one?

8 INT. LOCKER ROOM, LATER

Jennifer brazenly walks into the locker room, with confidence

that Frankie wishes she had.

JENNIFER
Oh Manuel you’re a riot! See you
tomorrow honey!

Frankie grabs her bag, and checks her phone.

INSERT - 1 MESSAGE

She’s excited to open it but it’s spam. She deletes it. She
looks at her most recent uploaded videos but she’s only
gotten about 4 or 5 views.

Frankie compulsively opens Instagram on her phone like a bad

habit and then clicks out of it before the application is
fully up.

NEW VIEW

In the hallway all the busboys and waitresses grab what’s

left from the bread drawer and take it home.

Frankie, now dressed in her regular clothes, walks by and

grabs a loaf.

9 EXT. BEVERLY HILLS RESTAURANT - CONTINUOUS

Frankie walks towards the parking lot munching on her bread

while simultaneously looking at her Instagram.

INSERT: scrolling through various posts. Images of people

EATING DINNER TOGETHER, AT A CONCERT, LIFE MAGAZINE, --
pictures that make Frankie’s night at the restaurant feel
uneventful in comparison.

(CONTINUED)
 9.
9 CONTINUED:

Another WAITER, an anorexic white guy with a shaved head and

dark circles under his eyes, sucks viciously on a cigarette
while he waits for his ride to pick him up.

WAITER
Waiting to get picked up too?

Before Frankie can answer:

WAITER (CONT’D)
Fucking parking is too fucking
expensive. Fucked up the
restaurant won’t fucking cover it.

FRANKIE
I fucking know.

The waiter’s ride pulls up and he jumps in.

WAITER
Peace out Betch!

10 INT. FRANKIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Frankie unlocks the door to her tiny one-bedroom apartment

and flicks on the light. A neighboring Chinese restaurant’s
neon sign flashes through the living room window onto her
little fold-out desk covered in papers and her laptop
computer.

She walks over to her computer. Even the screen is cluttered

with various Word documents, iMovie edits, Wikipedia
searches, photos of inspiration. Frankie sits down to review
her work.

She sighs, shuts her laptop and goes over to her little
kitchen to make herself a martini.

In the kitchen, Frankie puts her tip money away in a jar

marked ‘Dream Vacation’ with a colored pencil drawing of a
palm tree.

WIDE SHOT - Frankie ridiculously shaking the martini shaker.

Taunted by her computer, Frankie goes back. Now, sipping on

her cold martini, she’s able to relax.

She checks Instagram:

(CONTINUED)
 10.
10 CONTINUED:

INSERT - SCREEN

On the “Popular Page” she finds images of teenagers from

Saudi Arabia dressed in their caftans posing, holding falcons
and machine guns.

Reciting back to herself and using her hands to articulate,

she stares at the blank page and flashing word cursor. She
writes the words: “The Utilitarian, American Style PB-J: An
Artist’s Best Friend.”

Underneath she uploads a video of herself handing out peanut

butter and jelly sandwiches to the audience.

The VIDEO plays silently, while Frankie thinks:

FRANKIE (V.O.
I told that guy I was an artist,
but I don’t know what I am, or what
I want. I guess in the end we all
want to be happy, right? (pause) I
had this idea for a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich ready to go,
made beforehand, that I could hand
out to the audience at the comedy
club I go to sometimes, as this
kind of performance art thing, or
maybe just to make everyone happy.

CELL PHONE CAMERA FOOTAGE of Frankie on her bed filming

herself speaking.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
Art these days doesn’t make people
happy enough. I mean, some of it
does, but the art that usually
tries to make people happy is not
really art, it’s just a product,
and the people that make it are not
really trying to make people happy,
they’re just trying to get people
to buy whatever it is they’re
selling. I’m talking about the
happiness I get when eating a PB &
J.

NEW FOOTAGE of Frankie CLOSE UP going through all the

different emotions: happy, sad, bored etc. Ends up doing
card tricks.

(CONTINUED)
 11.
10 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)

Happiness because it triggers so
many memories, the same way that a
song will remind you of a time and
place. But then again, what do I
know about happiness, I certainly
didn’t learn it from my mother or
my father -- well, I didn’t get
much of a chance with him.
(pause)
I didn’t end up making the 200
sandwiches because it would have
cost too much money. It ended up
not even mattering because only
about fifteen people came to our
performance.

Realizing she’s pretty drunk, Frankie results in a quick fix

of social media; Instagram.

She scrolls and stops on a “selfie” photo of Jennifer from

work. Jennifer’s photo of herself has so many “likes” and
comments. Frankie gets lost in the world of Jennifer.

We learn a lot about Jennifer: She’s an actress, has a decent

amount of followers, was in Malibu this weekend, she loves
fitness.

CLOSE ON FRANKIE

Again social media leaves her feeling insecure and lonely and
even envious of Jennifer.

Frankie writes in the comments section of Jennifer’s selfie --

something immature and dumb like “looks like you just farted”
-- thinking it’s funny at the time.

Then, thinking it’s not so funny anymore, Frankie tries to

delete her comment but other people have already acknowledged
it; using little emojicons of hands pointing to her comment
with lots of “???”

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

11 INT. BEVERLY HILLS RESTAURANT - DAY

MED VIEW -- Frankie stands impatiently behind the bar waiting

for the dishwasher to finish, practicing flare tricks with
the drink shakers and alcohol bottles.

(CONTINUED)
 12.
11 CONTINUED:

JOSH (O.S.)
That’s so cool! How do you do that?

JOSH, (20), a regular customer, boy genius, with big eyes and
hair that looks like he’s just been electrocuted, sits at the
bar for lunch and flirtatiously pesters Frankie.

FRANKIE
What? This?

She shows off another trick.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
It’s easy. You could do it. Try.

JOSH
No, I couldn’t. I’d break
something.

FRANKIE
Nahhh...

JOSH
How’d you learn to do that?

FRANKIE
Flare? You just practice.

JOSH
What about bartending school?

FRANKIE
Phhh! Please, no one does that
anymore. I just worked at a bar
for a while and picked it up. You
ever see the movie Cocktails?

JOSH
(sees something)
I wouldn’t do that any more...

ANTHONY
(comes hither - with his
index finger)
FRANKIE...

Frankie walks over to him.

ANTHONY (CONT’D)
How many times do I have to tell
you, stop pretending you’re the
bartender!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 13.
11 CONTINUED:
ANTHONY (CONT’D)
This is too classy a place for
flare bartending. Comprende?

NEW VIEW

Frankie walks back to where Josh is sitting.

JOSH
(to Frankie)
Told you. What’s that guy’s
problem?

FRANKIE
I think he just has a lot on his
plate.

Josh picks up the menu.

JOSH
I’m gonna have the sea scallops
today.

FRANKIE
OK.

JOSH
And a glass of the Sancerre.

FRANKIE
You’re not 21 yet.

JOSH
C’mon...

FRANKIE
No.

JOSH
Fine. A cappuccino.

Frankie goes to punch in his order into the kiosk.

JOSH (CONT’D)
What did you do this weekend?

FRANKIE
Nothing really.

JOSH
I’m getting really far into my
documentary. I’d love for you to
see what I have sometime.

(CONTINUED)
 14.
11 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Sure.

JOSH
Have any plans this weekend?

FRANKIE
Nope.

JOSH
Would you wanna go see a comedy
show act with me? Friday?

FRANKIE
OK.

JOSH
Great! I think I still have your
number...

Others can HEAR which embarrasses Frankie.

12 INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

Frankie sits at a table at the comedy show with Josh.

A fat FEMALE COMEDIAN with thin pointy eyebrows, long permed

black hair and an extremely loud voice is on stage. She’s
doing a routine that’s very bitchy and self-deprecating.

Josh laughs a super loud goofy laugh in effort to encourage

Frankie.

JOSH
So random! Right?

FEMALE COMEDIAN
(to Josh)
I like you. You laugh at my jokes.
Wanna come to all my shows?

Everyone laughs.

FEMALE COMEDIAN (CONT’D)

What’s your name?

JOSH
Josh.

FEMALE COMEDIAN
Are you on a date right now?

(CONTINUED)
 15.
12 CONTINUED:

JOSH
(looks over at Frankie)
Yeah?

FEMALE COMEDIAN
That doesn’t sound too promising.

LAUGHTER

FEMALE COMEDIAN (CONT’D)

She kinda looks like a bitch to be
honest...

Frankie’s trying to hide.

LAUGHTER

FEMALE COMEDIAN (CONT’D)

No, seriously. Every time I look
over this girl is just fucking
scowling. Like, what’s your fucking
problem?

LAUGHTER

FEMALE COMEDIAN (CONT’D)

I’m sorry. I’m sorry... Excuse me,
what’s your name?

FRANKIE
Frankie.

FEMALE COMEDIAN
What do you do, Frankie? What’s
your last name?

FRANKIE
De La Sante.

FEMALE COMEDIAN
Are you kidding? De la Sante? Are
you a countess?

FRANKIE
I’m sincerely sorry for not
laughing.

FEMALE COMEDIAN
Whoa!!! OK. Where’d you get that
scar? Were you in a knife fight?

COWBOY (O.S.)
Why don’t you shut up.

(CONTINUED)
 16.
12 CONTINUED:

VIEW

A mysterious figure from a shadowy area by the bar, dressed

like a Cowboy in all denim, but with a blonde wig, red
lipstick but also stubble, and sunglasses comes to Frankie’s
defense.

FEMALE COMEDIAN
What the hell are you? Why don’t
you come a little closer.

COWBOY
I’m supposed to go on after you --
are you done yet?

FEMALE COMEDIAN
Let’s see you get out here and try
and do your routine and have this
girl freakishly stare at you and
not laugh. Then tell me how it
feels.

JOSH
(to Frankie)
What’s up with this guy...

COWBOY
Sure.

The Cowboy walks towards the stage and nudges the female
comedian to step aside.

POV of the audience shaking their heads.

VIEW ON THE COWBOY

COWBOY (CONT’D)
(clears his throat)
Just slow it down enough to enjoy
the ride. You hear me? You better
hear me because I’m not going to
say it a second time. I got no
memory, and I am talent-less -- in
fact, that’s my talent not because
I don't have it, but because I --
(loses his train of
thought)
So anyway, let’s all take a moment
off to be different. Be weird.

(CONTINUED)
 17.
12 CONTINUED:

NEW VIEW

Different audience members whisper to each other in

embarrassment for this guy.

CLOSE ON FRANKIE

Watching her rescuer make a fool of himself.

COWBOY (CONT'D)
(croons)
Liz, Liz, Lizzy
Grand dame, Gorgon Martha
Versus your sliver tongued beau
Sir Richard as George.
That was the later you,

The you that passed through

Cleopatra, and brought down a
studio;
The you that was James Dean's
Shoulder to cry on in Giant;

VIEW ON FRANKIE

He is sort of singing, sort of spoken word, sort of funny,

sort of preaching. There is something so trashy, so weird,
but so honest about him, about everything he’s doing. His
absence of talent is what makes him intriguing, like forcing
truth out of things in a small way still making a difference.
At least to Frankie in that moment it does.

COWBOY (CONT’D)
The young you that played Monty's
lover
In A Place in the Sun, and his
heart's support
In life. Could you comfort him
After his crash in the Hollywood
hills. “I love . . . (gasp) are
they watching us?”

The Cowboy walks off the stage leaving the audience

dumbfounded.

Josh leans into Frankie and whispers:

JOSH
What was that?

RICK, the stout club coordinator, with sweaty, curly black

hair, steps back onto the stage desperate to salvage the
energy in the room.

(CONTINUED)
 18.
12 CONTINUED:

MC
(weak, sarcastic clap)
The cowboy, well, what the fuck? I
don't know. I don't book 'em, I
just announce 'em. See you on the
range Hondo. Heh, heh

13 EXT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

Frankie leans on a brick wall smoking a cigarette. She hears

YELLING.

Frankie turns the corner and sees Rick yelling in the

Cowboy’s face.

RICK
No, you get the fuck back. The fuck
back to freak town, and don't come
back here no more. This is a comedy
club, funny town, not arty fucking
freak town.

The Cowboy remains cool despite the little man shooting

pellets of spit every time he talks.

COWBOY
Fitty.

RICK
Fitty? Fitty? Oh, you want fitty
bucks? Ha ha ha ha, fitty bucks? Ha
ha ha ha, you want fitty bucks? Ha
ha ha.

Forcing the laughter, his face turning into a tomato.

RICK (CONT’D)
You can have fitty fucking licks of
my cock, you fucking fairy cowboy,
dumbshit.

The Cowboy lights his last cigarette to his lips.

COWBOY
I want fitty.

RICK
You know what? I wish you had done
this shit on stage because you are
fucking hilarious! I mean, fucking
hilarious. I ain't giving you
fitty, I ain't giving you one.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 19.
13 CONTINUED:
RICK (CONT'D)
You're a fucking amateur; amateurs
don't get paid, especially dumb
fucking Andy Kaufman rip-offs
trying to be funny by not being
funny. That crap don't work no
more, bitch. It didn't work when
Andy did it. Why don't you go to
Silver Lake and put this shit in a
hipster art show, because you ain't
ever coming on my stage again. Now
get the fuck out of here.

The little man waddles back inside, huffy.

The Cowboy leans against the wall smoking his cigarette.

Frankie goes over to him.

FRANKIE
Hey man, I thought you were dope.

He looks at her but says nothing, just sparkles his eye a

little bit.

FRANKIE(CONT’D)
I mean, I thought your act was
awesome. I know it wasn't trying to
be funny, I know it was different.

COWBOY
It was supposed to be funny.

FRANKIE
It was? Oh, yeah, I mean, I know, I
get it, like weird-funny.

COWBOY
You didn't laugh?

FRANKIE
No, I mean, a little. I was
laughing on the inside. I mean, my
brain was laughing.

COWBOY
Your brain was laughing?

FRANKIE
I mean, I get what you're doing. I
just think that these people didn't
get it because they're trying to
tell stupid jokes to get on sit-
coms or whatever. You should do
this thing somewhere else.

(CONTINUED)
 20.
13 CONTINUED:

CLOSER VIEW

COWBOY
Where?

FRANKIE
Like on YouTube or something.

COWBOY
On the internet?

FRANKIE
Yeah, on the internet.

He flicks away his cigarette like he was leaving.

FRANKIE(CONT’D)
Come on, let me just record you
singing one song.

Frankie takes out her phone.

COWBOY
You want me to sing? Right here?

FRANKIE
Yeah, and I'll record it.

She holds up her phone to demonstrate how easy it is.

COWBOY
(he looks at it)
Fine, fitty bucks.

FRANKIE
You want me to pay you? I don't
have fifty. I have, let's see,
maybe ten.

COWBOY
Fitty.

FRANKIE
Here, I'll give you fifteen. OK?
Fifteen.

She puts the two bills his hand and closes it. The Cowboy
hold the bills in his hand and looks at them, thinking.

COWBOY
For fifteen, no guitar.

(CONTINUED)
 21.
13 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Fine, no guitar, fine.

COWBOY
And your cigarettes.

FRANKIE
Fine.

She hands over her pack of Parliament Lights, opens the video
application and aims the phone.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
You ready?

She presses record.

The Cowboy grabs the phone and preaches into it.

COWBOY
Love is a dangerous thing,
especially in this day and age
where things like this (shaking the
phone) show you what else is out
there. Short attention spans!

The Cowboy breaks into song.

COWBOY (CONT’D)
(sings)
I looked around for love
And I knew by then
That love wasn't worship,
That love was ease.

From diaper boxes, and Clorox.

These are the rainbow colored
Punctuations stuck into nature,
They are the man-made things

Corroded by my love.
I assume things will pile
And pile until the piles
Take over.

He lights another cigarette.

COWBOY (CONT’D)
Love is not of man,
Nature sets the rules.
I've lived a life,
I've learned a few things

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 22.
13 CONTINUED:
COWBOY (CONT’D)
And this is a new lesson,
It says, surrender.

He stops. Puffs on the cigarette.

FRANKIE
Can I have one?

He hands her one of her own cigarettes and lights it with his
tiny pink lighter.

He slips on his Ray Bans, still with his wig on. Walks away,
fading into the milky-lit alleyway.

WIDE on Frankie alone smoking and savoring the Parliament

Light.

14 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - LATER

Frankie edits the footage of the Cowboy’s song. The VIEW

moves closer. She uploads the video onto YouTube, naming it:
“The Cowb--” then backspaces and types “The Hollywood
Cowboy.”

DISSOLVE TO:

15 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - MORNING

Frankie, dressed in her bar backing uniform, quickly drinks

her cup of coffee before she heads for the door.

Before she exits she checks her Hollywood Cowboy video and is
surprised to find that she has got a considerable amount of
views for having posted it late last night.

INSERT - CELL SCREEN

“122 views, 59 likes and 4 dislikes.”

16 EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. - DAY

The ‘rock’ site is now a tourist attraction. Vendors hawk

counterfeit merchandise as looky-loos swarm and try to get a
chip from it, pushing each other to get pictures with the
rock.

A women hugging a pet sloth takes a selfie with the rock.

Construction workers struggle trying to figure out a solution

as giant cranes beep their way through.
 23.

17 INT. BEVERLY HILLS RESTAURANT, BATHROOM - DAY

Frankie spaces out at the sign that says “All employees must
wash their hands.” She pumps the liquid green soap onto her
palms. She stops and looks at her hands.

INSERT: Close on Frankie’s palms dripping in green slimy

soap like the cover of a “Goosebumps” book.

WIDE Frankie snapping out of her daydream, dries her hands.

She pulls her phone out of her pocket and notices she has
received over a thousand views for her video of the Hollywood
Cowboy.

FRANKIE
(to herself)
Whoa.

INSERT - Link’s video now has 5,324 views, 230 likes, 14

dislikes.

18 EXT. COMEDY CLUB - DAY

It’s after hours. Frankie waits outside the club on a dry

Burbank day with the sun beating down on her. She looks
around at all the odd surrounding buildings with funny names
and puns that reference old Hollywood.

Frankie knocks on the comedy club door. Rick, the club

coordinator, pokes his head out, wearing a fedora.

RICK
What?

FRANKIE
I have a question.

RICK
Who are you?

FRANKIE
Frankie-- do you remember the other
night this guy with a wig, sort of
a cowboy, came on and he was
really funny. Well, not funny
exactly --

She rummages through her purse on the ground.

RICK
Oh, you mean Link?

(CONTINUED)
 24.
18 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Is that his name?

RICK
Lincoln or something. I really
don’t know at this point.

FRANKIE
What do you mean?

RICK
Look kid, he’s just some bum.
Probably playing a prank or wants
some weird hanky-panky with you.
Son-of-a-bitch drives me crazy.

FRANKIE
Why?

RICK
Because I can never recognize him,
he’s always trying out some new
character baloney.

FRANKIE
Well, where can I find him?

RICK
(patronizing)
I recommend you stay away.

FRANKIE
I can take care of myself, just
tell me where he lives?

RICK
Sometimes he crashes on Pete
Doogan’s couch over at the trailer
park.

Rick motions for her to step into his office -- Frankie

enters.

19 EXT. TRAILER PARK - DAY

WIDE - trailer park. American flags, beer cans, and Indian

headdresses; remnants of a bonfire litter the site. A
dilapidated swimming pool is bordered by dirt and one lawn
chair.

(CONTINUED)
 25.
19 CONTINUED:

Link plays with a LITTLE GIRL at the empty pool. Children or

old people seem to be the only company he really feels at
ease with.

NEW VIEW

Link is teaching the little girl how to dive, rating her

dives from 1-10.

The little girl jumps into the water, she resurfaces with
gleeful anticipation.

LINK
(so-so)
7.

LITTLE GIRL
I can do better!

She runs around and jumps back into the pool. She comes up
from underwater anxious to hear the number.

LINK
(messing around)
Eh. 8.2

LITTLE GIRL
What! Seriously?

She runs around again and jumps back into the pool.

LITTLE GIRL (CONT’D)

How was that?

LINK
(clapping)
Much better. I give it a 9.5

LITTLE GIRL
Yes!

The girl’s mother looks at Link strangely and pulls her

daughter out of the pool away from him.

Link stands up. He’s sad and alone.

FRANKIE O.S.
Hi Link.

Suddenly his former testy self emerges.

(CONTINUED)
 26.
19 CONTINUED:

LINK
(grouchy)
What’d ya want!?

FRANKIE
I posted that video and it’s gotten
some likes.

LINK
(lifting himself up)
Oh...

FRANKIE
I was wondering if we could do
another one?

LINK
Hmmm... no.

FRANKIE
It’s gotten over 1000 likes! I
definitely don’t have 1000 friends!
And look at the comments -- people
are responding to you. What you’re
saying makes sense. Someone even
said they’re your biggest fan!
Look!

She shoves her phone at him.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
‘The Hollywood Cowboy.’

LINK
(chuckles)
The Hollywood Cowboy... cute.

FRANKIE
Do you like it? I made it up.

Link leans back, pondering.

LINK
Got any money?

FRANKIE
(looks down)
Well, not much. A little at home.

LINK
If that’s the case...

Turning away.

(CONTINUED)
 27.
19 CONTINUED:

FRANKI
How much is it gonna cost? I could
try to get more... I think.

LINK
Well I’ll need a place to stay.

FRANKIE
Maybe a cheap motel?

LINK
Alright, then lez get something to
eat.
(slaps her on the knee)
On you too.

FADE TO:

20 INT. DINER - DUSK

Frankie and Link sit in a booth by the window drinking black

coffee and Coca-Cola. There’s a Thai Elvis singing Karaoke
on a podium.

Frankie orders a tuna melt and Link orders a cheeseburger.

Cars vroom by the milky street lights in the background.

FRANKIE
So your name is Jane? But what’s
your real name?

LINK
(eating his burger and
staring out the window)
Link, Jane, doesn’t fucking matter.

FRANKIE
Where are you from?

LINK
New Orleans or something.

FRANKIE
Or something?

LINK
I don’t fucking know. Who cares,
you know?

FRANKIE
Yeah, I guess so... I think your
routine is cool.

(CONTINUED)
 28.
20 CONTINUED:

LINK
Thanks.

Link goes quiet. He puts his sunglasses on Frankie. He

takes a sip from his coffee while keeping his eyes on her.

LINK (CONT’D)
What do you want?

FRANKIE
I don’t know. I just want to get
to know you, I guess.

LINK
Why?

FRANKIE
Because I must be crazy because I
think you’re interesting.
(pause)
And because I want to be something
too, but I don't know how, so I
figured I would just try to see
what you're about, because I think
I like it, and fuck, I don't know.
I don't know how to do this whole
thing, this whole be an artist
thing. Because being just an actor
is boring; and being an artist like
a painter seems so passe; and being
a comedian, like a real comedian,
making people laugh seems silly;
and music, I don't know, I guess
music is cool, but I'm never going
to make it as a musician or a
writer, I guess, so I don't know. I
guess I just saw you. And I thought
I'd see what you had going on.

CLOSE on Link’s eyes still locked on her.

Frankie takes a breath and pops a french fry in her mouth.

INSERT: Underneath the table Frankie turns on her smart phone

and slyly films Link from a low angle.

LINK
(ponders)
Pain is ...

FRANKIE
Huh?

(CONTINUED)
 29.
20 CONTINUED:

LINK
Pain is what drives us. Remember
that. We all stem from pain. I
grew up around the television set,
my and my family’s lives entwined
with the characters of soap operas
we loved so much. We’d communicate
through these characters, that was
the only way. What this or that
character on the soap was going
through was what we would talk
about. But we never had any real
interest in each other. My family
doesn’t understand what I do. I’m
a failure in their eyes.

He takes a last sip of his coffee.

LINK (CONT’D)
What about your family, Frankie?

FRANKIE
My mother collects crystals -- my
father owned a nightclub in Miami;
loved to be with celebrities and
sports stars --

He looks up at Frankie and leans in to touch her scar.

LINK
Say, how’d you get that fabulous
scar?

FRANKIE
(matter of fact)
I walked into a plate glass window.

All her insecurity floods back to her, reminding her to

quickly turn off her video camera.

LINK
You recording just now?

Link gets distracted by a sad ventriloquist act that has come

on the stage following the Thai Elvis.

The VENTRILOQUIST, a short woman wearing glitter black heels,

white blazer, and floral blouse with short, spiky red hair
and red lipstick performs her act. Her counterpart BOB wears
a toupee and a Hawaiian shirt, standing to the left of the
stage behind a table with his computer and speakers. A SOUND
of a drum and cymbal beat.

(CONTINUED)
 30.
20 CONTINUED:

The ventriloquist drags Bob to center stage. She puts on him

a bonnet with little blonde Shirley Temple curls sticking out
from underneath, and a bib so large it gives the illusion
that Bob has a little baby body lying in his bassinet.
Little baby hands and feet stick out that Bob can control and
wiggle. The ventriloquist woman squeezes Bob’s neck from
behind in order to cue for him to open his mouth. Bob has
now turned into a crying, farting baby.

LINK (CONT’D)
(shudders)
How could anybody fall so low?

Frankie watches Link’s expression shift to horror as he

watches the show unveil; like the past flashing before his
eyes all over again.

Link yells out disrupting the show.

The other diners “shh” him.

Frankie, now becoming a little embarrassed.

WAITER politely asks him to be quiet.

WAITER
I know you, you’re not welcome
here. We have a restraining order
against you.

LINK
Shit in a bucket, mother,
motherfuck it.

Link runs around the diner forcing the waiter to chase him.
The scene becomes a somewhat slapstick comedy routine, people
throwing chairs and slipping on pancakes.

NEW VIEW

Link drops his pants and throws a plate.

LINK (CONT’D)
Stop eating everyone! Arrivederci!

CUT TO:

21 EXT. QUAINT HOUSE IN THE VALLEY - EVENING

Some trees and a garden.

 31.

22 INT. FRANKIE’S GRANDPARENTS’ HOUSE - EVENING

Frankie is preparing dinner with her GRANDMOTHER, a tiny

woman with short curly brown hair, in the kitchen while her
GRANDFATHER, tall, grey-haired, with a round Santa Claus
nose, is surrounded by tiny shards of paper, cutting and
gluing together his family tree.

GRANDFATHER
(yelling from over in the
living room)
Frankie!

FRANKIE
(yelling back from the
kitchen)
Yeah?

GRANDFATHER
Have you talked to your mother?

FRANKIE
(peeks out)
I don’t talk to Analisa.

GRANDFATHER
She’s your mother...

TRACKING as Frankie places a cold martini on the dining room

table next to where her grandfather is sitting.

FRANKIE
I don’t need any of her drama.
(frustrated)
Thanks to my mother I know better
what I don’t want to be than what I
want to be!

GRANDMOTHER
Tell her to call us once in a
while. We want to know she’s OK.

Grandfather takes a sip of the martini.

GRANDFATHER
Ahh! Cold! Cold! Cold! No one
does it better than you.

He pats her on the back. Frankie smiles.

Frankie’s grandmother comes out to set the table. Frankie

helps her.

(CONTINUED)
 32.
22 CONTINUED:

GRANDMOTHER
How’s the bartending coming,
sweetie?

FRANKIE
(deflated)
I’m just a bar-back.

GRANDMOTHER
Are you not enjoying it?

FRANKIE
I polish glasses, what’s there to
enjoy? And the other night at the
comedy club --

GRANDFATHER
Oh! My little comedienne! How’s
your comedy routine? Tell me one
of your jokes --

GRANDMOTHER
I bet you’re getting good
inspiration while working at that
restaurant!

FRANKIE
Yes... all that’s pretty funny.

GRANDMOTHER
Something the matter?

FRANKIE
Well, the other night I was at a
comedy show and this sort of guy/
girl/thing came on. He had a wig on
but also stubble. I named him the
Hollywood Cowboy. I’m not really
sure what it was but it was so bad
it was almost beautiful. I found
him afterwards and I had him --
Well, lemme just show you.

Frankie grabs her computer and places it on the dining room

table pushing aside her Grandpa’s mess.

FRANKIE(CONT’D)
I filmed it.

WIDE the three of them hovering around the computer to watch

Frankie’s video.

INSERT: the video, Link as the Hollywood Cowboy.

(CONTINUED)
 33.
22 CONTINUED:

LINK
(the video)
These are my wicked, wicked ways,
because I am the Witch King of the
Hollywood Hills, the dark star
rising, the latest incarnation of
contemporary Satan: Hollywood
Actor. All pretty things project
all their pretty things onto me.
They are mice to my piper, and they
come to my call because I play the
songs of dreams and promise.

VIEW ON FRANKIE’S GRANDPARENTS

They are concerned for her.

GRANDFATHER
What is it about him you find so
interesting?

FRANKIE
He’s, well I guess he’s a
performance artist. A modern day
prophet for the weird. Maybe if it
gets more reactions Buzzfeed will
pick it up.

GRANDFATHER
Buzzfeed?

FRANKIE
Anyway, I want to do more with this
guy.

GRANDFATHER
What happened to my sweet little
bartender? I thought you liked
doing that?

FRANKIE
I do, but it’s not I like I want to
be a bartender for the rest of my
life. I just like making martinis
for you.

GRANDMOTHER
(to her husband)
You know dear, anything is art.
Peeling a potato can be art as long
as it’s a conscious act...

(CONTINUED)
 34.
22 CONTINUED:

GRANDFATHER
(interrupting)
-- Yes, sweetie but if you could
just stick to one thing for a
little bit you never know where it
might take you. It’s important to
see things through.

FRANKIE
But I could make a lot of money
doing this! It happens all the
time!
(guilt trip)
Just to get things started.

GRANDFATHER
(laughing)
Oh. You want money!

He can’t refuse his granddaughter and hands over ten crisp

ten dollar bills.

FRANKIE
(giving him a great big
bear hug)
AW thank you! Thank you! Thank
you!

GRANDFATHER
What can I say, when you’re young
all you care about is money. When
you’re old all you want is time.

Frankie’s grandmother pats him on the shoulder.

GRANDMOTHER
Let’s eat.

23 INT. MOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

Frankie, tired, checks Link into a motel room she can barely
afford.

CLOSE on the funny looking motel clerk observing the odd

pairing.

INSERT: Frankie counts out five $10 bills.

 35.

24 INT. MOTEL ROOM - LATER

Frankie gets Link settled into his new room.

While he sleeps she snoops through his little bag of

possessions. She notices his fragmented personal belongings
that give clues to the human behind the mask.

INSERT: Love letters, candy, bottles of Nyquil, movies,

books.

CLOSE on Link fake-sleeping and peeking through one eye as

Frankie looks through his things.

LINK
I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Link puts his sunglasses on.

FRANKIE
(lifts up his glasses)
What’s your story? What are all
those letters? Who are you under
there?

LINK
Why don’t you come a little closer
and I’ll show you.

Frankie feels excited by him but awkwardly shrugs it off.

FRANKIE
I’ll come back tomorrow to film
another video.

Link laughs.

25 EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD., THE ROCK - DAY

There’s traffic because people are rioting on Hollywood Blvd.

around the fallen rock, against Monsanto, the agriculture
company.

Homemade signs say: “Corporate GREED, toxic SEED, corrupting

biodiversity,” “GMO just say NO,” “Absence of BEES, absence
of HUMANS,” “I am not a lab experiment.”
 36.

26 INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

Link in his room hears Frankie coming from down the hall. He
hurries a girl, half-dressed carrying her shoes, out the
door.

VIEW, HALLWAY

Frankie with Josh in tow helping her lug camera equipment she
conned him into renting for her.

FRANKIE
I appreciate this so much, Josh.
I’ll pay you back for the rental
fee. I promise. I’m just waiting
for my new debit card to come in
the mail.

JOSH
(lugging all the gear)
No problem. So you met up with
that guy after I took you to the
comedy show?

FRANKIE
Yeah! Just wait till you meet him.

Frankie excitedly knocks on Link’s door. Link opens the door

shirtless and welcomes Frankie and Josh inside.

CLOSE on Josh’s reaction.

LINK
I gotta put my face on.

NEW VIEW

The lights dimmed down low. Link dressed as the Hollywood

Cowboy plays a song while sitting on the arm of the couch.

LINK (CONT’D)
Hi, I’m the Cowboy and this one
goes out --

FRANKIE (O.S.)
“Hollywood Cowboy.”

LINK
I’m the Hollywood Cowboy and this
one goes out to all those beautiful
old Hollywood icons I love so much.
My mothers and fathers.

(CONTINUED)
 37.
26 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE (O.S.)
“... I am you. You are me...”

LINK
I am you. You are me. I’ll be
next...

VIEW ON FRANKIE

On the sidelines.

FRANKIE
Why is it important, Link?

LINK
Well, because it’s important to
stand strong.

FRANKIE
Right. Tell us!

VIEW ON LINK

LINK
You know, it’s impossible to be an
individual these days when
advertisements and corporations
monopolize the world as if we were
living in medieval times or
something..

FRANKIE (O.S.)
Wow. Link, tell us -- is it true no
one can control the internet? Is it
true?

LINK
The phone company controls it. Who
did you think?

FRANKIE (O.S.)
The cable companies.

LINK
Them too. The cartel but fuck them,
I don’t want to talk about them
anymore, I want to talk about
Monty.

FRANKIE (O.S.)
Go ahead, talk about anything you
want to.

(CONTINUED)
 38.
26 CONTINUED:

MOVING VIEW moving closer on Link.

LINK
Monty, you were the first, before
Brando and Dean. A new American way
of fucking with the camera.

Your soul fluttered

Behind your stone still face,
A Donatello statue emanating
Deep life on the flickering film.

Burly Burt Lancaster feared you

Because of your latent power,
You played your character in
From Here to Eternity like a human

Knife in a Hawaiian shirt.

In A Place in the Sun, the longing
And sorrow and sociopathic
Intensity vibrate through

Your handsome mask.

Like nothing before or since
A minimalist artwork,
Motionless as it clobbers.

He looks directly at the audience.

CLOSE on Josh watching Frankie watch Link.

DISSOLVE TO:

27 INSERT - HUFFINGTON POST

Small blurb:

“Who is this self-styled Hollywood Cowboy who trashes

corporate America while wearing a blond wig and lipstick...”

DISSOLVE TO:

28 INT. MORNING SHOW, DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Link sits in a chair while a make-up artist cakes on make-up.

LINK
AW! It just looks worse.

MAKE-UP
Trust me, it won’t pick up on
camera.
 39.

29 INT. MORNING SHOW STUDIO - DAY

Link on the talk show with two HOSTS, 50-year-old women.

HOST #1
Well we must say that video of you
is pretty astonishing!

LINK
Thank you very much, ma’am.

HOST #2
Oh, I like him!

They giggle. Link smiles.

HOST #2 (CONT’D)
He’s got such a nice smile too. I
like him even more!

HOST #1
OK! Katie, stop hitting on poor
Link now. Link, we wanna hear
about how this all happened.

LINK
I mean it was a total godsend.
It’s an utter disbelief that it’s
come this far. I’ve always viewed
myself as never being good at
anything but I was just willing to
at least try, ya know?

HOST #1
Aw. Such a sweetie. I think that’s
what makes you so great. You’re
very humble.

LINK
(smiles)
I try.

VIEW

Frankie on the sidelines smiling and giving a thumbs up.

HOST #2
So, what’s next for you?

LINK
You know, I don’t know.

(CONTINUED)
 40.
29 CONTINUED:

HOST #1
But this video of you. I mean!

LINK
(bashful)
Aww. It’s really nothing.

HOST #1
No really, so great.

MEDIUM SHOT backstage -- the producers mumble.

HOST #1 (CONT'D)
(into camera)
Will you play us something, Link?

VIEW FROM BEHIND

Link and the two hosts sit in high chairs facing all the
cameras, crew and equipment. Link’s Hollywood Cowboy VIDEO
plays on the television monitors.

The CREW laughs.

LINK (V.O.)
Sometimes it’s good to act badly.
It’s good to mix things up. When
everything is so precious it
becomes difficult to grow. It’s
hard to be around people who take
themselves too seriously.

HOST #2
I mean isn’t he just spectacular!?
What were you doing before all of
this took off? It must be such a
whirlwind coming from the street to
now here...

LINK
Yes ma’am.

HOST #1
Can you sing us a song now?!

HOST #2
(laughs loudly)
Look at her!

HOST #1
Oh! Oh! They’re cueing us we’re out
of time.

(CONTINUED)
 41.
29 CONTINUED:

HOST #2
Oh no! We love you Link! Or do we
call you the Hollywood Cowboy?

LINK
Link is fine.

HOST #1
You’ll have to come back! We love
you!

She pinches him. Link flinches and laughs.

30 EXT. MORNING SHOW STUDIO - LATER

Link exits the studio with Frankie. He notices in the far-

off crowd a mysterious black man dressed like the Hollywood
Cowboy, @$H!EY (pronounced Ashley). The NETWORK PAGE BOY gets
@$H!EY to sign the release form.

PAGE
You’re the Hollywood Cowboy.

@$H!EY
(lisp)
Yeah, man -- the one and only.

PAGE
But you’re black.

@$H!EY
So?

Link looks startled as he gets into Frankie’s car. The black

Hollywood Cowboy just stares back at Link. The car drives
away.

31 EXT. STRIP CLUB - SUNDOWN

Link walks into a strip club

32 INT. STRIP CLUB - CONTINUOUS

TRACKING Link walks into the club. The blue moon colored
lighting shines off the dancers in sequinned bikinis. Even
though it’s dark, Link is familiar with everyone there. He
gets a large stack of one dollar bills from the ATM and sits
comfortably at the front of the dance floor.

(CONTINUED)
 42.
32 CONTINUED:

MICHELLE CUPCAKE, a light-skinned black woman with purple

hair, comes on the stage.

LINK
Hey Cupcake!

He holds some money out for her.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
Hi baby.

She crawls over so he can stuff the money in her thong. She
does a little butt jiggle for him.

LINK
Are you a whore?!

He slaps her ass.

LINK (CONT’D)
Whore! Dirty little whore!

Michelle giggles.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
Cool it Baby.

LINK
Will you come over later?

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
I can’t.

LINK
Why? You’re my wife.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
Link...

Another customer shouts out to Link for hogging Michelle.

LINK
(to Michelle)
What?!

Michelle goes over to the pole then finds a way to dance back
over to Link.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
Link... We’re separated. I need
some time.

(CONTINUED)
 43.
32 CONTINUED:

LINK
But I love you...

Link looks deeply saddened.

33 EXT. STRIP CLUB - LATER, NIGHT

Link, inebriated, leaves with three other STRIPPERS.

34 INT. PUBLIC BUS - CONTINUOUS

Link and his three girls sing and joke on the bus.

35 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - MORNING

Frankie’s LANDLORD is at the door waiting to collect her

rent, spacing out at the TV while Frankie collects her money
from the ‘Dream Vacation’ jar.

In the background on the TV screen, the black artist by the

name of @$H!EY (Ashley) claims on the same morning show Link
was just on, that Link’s Hollywood Cowboy act was stolen from
him.

Frankie double takes as she hands her landlord her rent.

VIEW on TV screen.

HOST 1
So you’re saying Link Rivers isn’t
original? That he stole the
‘Hollywood Cowboy’ from you?

@$H!EY
(lisp)
Yes. That was verbatim an act I
used to do.

HOST 2
Did you ever know or meet Link?

@$H!EY
Oh yes. He was a protégé of mine
back in New Orleans.
 44.

36 INT. LINK’S MOTEL ROOM - DAY

Frankie has her own key to Link’s room. She opens the door
to discover Link curled in with the three strippers with the
SOUND of the television on in the background.

Frankie stands over him horrified. She runs out. Link

chases after her.

LINK
Frankie, it’s not how it looks.

FRANKIE
What? Then how is it?

Link grabs her.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
Ah! Don’t touch me, you’re gross!

Frankie crying.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
Who’s Ashley?

LINK
What?

FRANKIE
There was some special on the
morning show with this guy Ashley
claiming you stole his routine!

Link rubs his head.

FRANKIE (CONT’D)
Answer me! Who’s ASHLEY! Did you
steal his/her/whatever routine?!

LINK
Ugh. Well, yeah kinda. I needed
$50 for a place to stay and I
didn’t have any ideas of my own.

FRANKIE
Kinda? I put that on the internet!
That stuff doesn’t go away Link?
Are you trying to humiliate me? Is
this all some grand scheme or some
sick conceptual joke?

(CONTINUED)
 45.
36 CONTINUED:

LINK
Frankie, how was I supposed to know
all this was gonna happen! I was
drunk when you filmed that video
for fuck sake!

FRANKIE
All I wanted was to have my place.
To be somebody I didn’t have to
explain anymore. I was so close to
maybe finally having an identity.
I thought you could do that for me
but I was wrong. Super wrong!
You’re just some bum I trusted my
life savings with! Shit! And I quit
my job!

LINK
No Frankie. We can figure this
out. Together. I promise. I’m
with you...

WIDE Link pulls her in for a hug, she resists but ultimately
gives in to his embrace.

CUT TO:

37 EXT. BURBANK BUS STOP - DAY

Link waves goodbye to his stripper friends. As the bus

drives away it reveals an empty bench with an advertisement
for lawyer/manager, MANNY PRINKLES; a Hollywood stock
character with a pompadour, aviator-tinted glasses and a bad
fake tan.

38 INT. BURBANK OFFICE, WAITING ROOM - DAY

Link and Frankie wait in Manny’s office. The RECEPTIONIST

(20), an overweight blonde with pale blue eye shadow sits at
her desk typing on her computer while her acrylic pale blue
nails tap against the keyboard.

RECEPTIONIST
I’ll be right back.

VIEW IN OFFICE

Manny plays around in his office. The receptionist stands in

the doorway.

RECEPTIONIST (CONT’D)
They’re waiting for you outside.

(CONTINUED)
 46.
38 CONTINUED:

MANNY
OK. I’ll be right out.

VIEW IN WAITING ROOM

Link and Frankie still waiting. Receptionist enters.

RECEPTIONIST
He’ll be right out. Can I get you
coffee or water?

FRANKIE
I’m fine, thank you.

LINK
Coffee.

RECEPTIONIST
OK.

VIEW IN OFFICE

Manny in his office counting to 20 trying to dilly dally, and

seem pre-occupied. Then he exits.

VIEW IN RECEPTION

Receptionist carefully delivering a cup of coffee that’s

filled too high to the brim.

Manny barrels out into the waiting room.

MANNY
So sorry to have kept you waiting,
I was on a conference call. It’s
like people just want to jerk you
off with one hand and smack you
with the other.
(beat)
Nice to meet you.

The receptionist struggles to intersect and hand Link his

coffee.

MANNY (CONT’D)
(leading them into his
office)
Right this way.

VIEW IN OFFICE

Link, Frankie, and Manny enter his office.

(CONTINUED)
 47.
38 CONTINUED:

Manny’s view overlooks the dry mountainous plains of the San

Fernando Valley.

Link and Frankie plop into two large red leather chairs that
face Manny’s big mismatched Gothic-style desk.

MANNY (CONT’D)
I saw the video you made and it’s
hysterical. Seriously, really
funny and I wouldn’t tell you to
your face if I thought it was god-
awful because I wouldn’t be helping
you if I lied but honestly, I think
it’s great and I’m a tough critic.
I would love to represent you.
I’ve had a lot of clients in the
past and you can ask any one of
them and they’ll say I helped build
their career. I would personally
love to eventually get you your own
show, a social media empire, which
then, you know, you can eventually
sell but we obviously have to work
up to that. So first things first,
we need people to like you. Build
more organic growth.

FRANKIE
But there was a little problem. I
mean, Link might have been inspired
a little bit by a previous artist.
(mutters)
Artists.

MANNY
I saw that. Big deal! You know what
they say... Good artists copy,
great artists steal! ...(beat)
Except they’re not gonna steal from
YOU! Am I right? Anyway, I know
some people. It’s expensive, for
sure, but you’re gonna make it up
to me. (winks) Heat my bed?

FRANKIE
What?

MANNY
I’m kidding. I have a sick sense
of humor.

Manny gives a big shit-eating grin.

(CONTINUED)
 48.
38 CONTINUED:

MANNY (CONT’D)
So, we good?

39 INT. FRANKIE’S CAR - NIGHT

Link drives Frankie’s car in silence.

FRANKIE
Where are we going?

LINK
Shhh... I want to show you
something..

The street lights reflect off the windshield onto them.

40 EXT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT

They park in a lot just outside a tiny Silver Lake dive bar.

LINK
OK. Close your eyes.

Link covers Frankie’s eyes with a bandana.

FRANKIE
What are you up to?

LINK
You’ll see.

Link scurries around.

LINK (CONT’D)
OK you can open them now.

Frankie opens her eyes to Link’s new character dressed in a

brown suit with a whipped cream face and stick on mustache
and eyebrows; a new sort of clown character.

FRANKIE
Link?

LINK
What’s your name sweet thing?

FRANKIE
Frankie.

LINK
That’s a fucking stupid name?

(CONTINUED)
 49.
40 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Link? What are you wearing?

LINK
Don’t call me that bitch! My name
is Mr. Lovey. See ya in there,
baby!

He kisses her and skips out of the car.

CLOSE on Frankie, with a smear of whipped cream or white

paint substance on her face. She smirks half enjoying the
kiss but also extremely confused.

41 INT. DIVE BAR - CONTINUOUS

Frankie makes her way through the crowded venue.

LOUD MUSIC plays and LIGHTS STROBE.

Link comes on stage as his new persona, singing, an absurd

wild clown. Young skinny men cross-dressed in Las Vegas show
girl outfits “vogue” behind him in a type of Cabaret dance
routine. He brings audience members up on stage to announce
their personal issues, evolving into his act of being a
lovelorn guru.

Hipsters in the audience howl.

Frankie dancing and singing out, enjoying the atmosphere.

42 INT. DRESSING ROOM - LATER

TRACKING Frankie walks through the venue. She passes through

the dressing room but there’s no sign of Link.

43 EXT. DIVE BAR - CONTINUOUS

WIDE Link, now dressed as his regular self, patiently waits

for Frankie by the car.

LINK
Hey.

FRANKIE
(smiling)
Hi. That was great... really
great.

(CONTINUED)
 50.
43 CONTINUED:

LINK
What are you talking about?

Link chuckles and messes up her hair.

Two 20 year-old BOYS recognize Link and fan out.

KID
Dude! You’re Link, mother fucking
Hollywood Cowboy, right?

LINK
No. I don’t do the Cowboy anymore.

Link becomes introverted and shy, but takes selfies with them
and signs his autograph on napkins.

44 INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Manny treats Link and Frankie to a lavish dinner.

MANNY
(talking with mouth full)
I got the other video offline, it
might resurface later, but I was
able to pay someone off for now.

FRANKIE
I didn’t know you could do that
sort of thing.

MANNY
You can’t but I know some people.

FRANKIE
What sort of people?

MANNY
Don’t worry about it. Just focus on
taking care of Link. I’ll do the
rest. We need to strike while the
iron is hot.

FRANKIE
Link has started doing these
response videos for the lovelorn,
called ‘Mr. Lovey.’

MANNY
Great. We should put some
commercials in front. Make a little
money. Get some swag!

(CONTINUED)
 51.
44 CONTINUED:

LINK
Sure.

FRANKIE
We can’t just give out this stuff
for free.

MANNY
Link, things are about to change
and fast, buddy! How exciting is a
DJ with only a few followers? How
credible is a politician whose
tweets nobody sees? You need a
large number of followers to look
credible. There are companies
where we can buy fake followers.
Are you ready?

LINK
I’m always ready.

45 INT. GOTHIC MANSION - DAY

Link sings into camera doing something on the level of

Japanese Nicholas Cage Pachinko commercials for the ‘Ocu-Pro’
(Oculus Rift type product.)

LINK
Hi I’m Link Rivers and I’m doing a
commercial for Ocu-Pro. Oc-cu-Pro-
o! OK, here’s my song: I’m a bitch,
and a traitor, know what I mean?
I’m a dream and a nightmare. They
all say, be good, be sexy, be
something, be who you want to be,
but they don’t mean that.

Link gets up and walks into another set; ala “You, Me, Bum
Bum Train.”

Link gets up from the piano. The piano continues playing

without him. TRACKING Link walks towards a little door and
crawls through a rabbit hole. He gets to a room with three
doors. He opens one and a giant tidal wave splashes him.

LINK (CONT'D)
They don’t mean that if you want to
be a family person, or a public
person, or a person in the mix.

(CONTINUED)
 52.
45 CONTINUED:

FOLLOW LINK - he opens the next door and walks right into a
‘The Price Is Right’ game show sopping wet until he gets
disqualified and led to on a room where he is forced to
conduct a great big orchestra with no idea how to do so.

LINK (CONT'D)
They, they, they say. And I, I, I
say. And it’s news and it ain’t
news. There ain’t nothing but
violence, sex, and high stakes
money that matters to anyone. I say
marriage in music is the way,
marriage in the law ain’t the way.
I also say, this earth ain’t bound
for no good damn thing. How could
it be? So why creatin’ kids to be
burned up in the after generation?

Link makes his way out and he’s greeted by TRIPLETS. He goes
cross-eyed with excitement. His head exploding like a cartoon
character. Cartoon montage of his head cut out bouncing all
over the screen.

He closes down a whole highway to do an extravagant dance

routine with backup kid dancers and giraffes. In the end Link
head butts a little Chinese Gymnast Man.

46 INT. DRESSING ROOM - LATER

Frankie comes to congratulate Link in his dressing room.

Link scrubs off his makeup in a little mini sink in the
corner of the room.

FRANKIE
That was great, Link.

LINK
Yeah, you think?

FRANKIE
Yeah. You keep getting better.

A young WOMAN knocks on the door and Link lets her in.

LINK
Oh hey Patricia. Frankie, meet
Patricia.

PATRICIA
(smacking on gum)
Hey.

(CONTINUED)
 53.
46 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Nice to meet you.
(beat)
Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Link.
Good work.

LINK
Yeah, see you.

PATRICIA
(smacking)
Nice to meet you.

LINK
Oh, hey, Frankie, I was noticing on
Twitter that the fake Mr. Lovey has
more followers than the official
one. What’s up with that?

FRANKIE
I’ll check it out. Have a nice
night.

47 INT. JOSH'S APT, MAKESHIFT EDITING ROOM-NIGHT

Frankie and Josh work on the edit of the commercials. They

laugh and enjoy each other's company.

JOSH
You gotta hand it to him. He's got
spunk.

FRANKIE
He sure does.

Frankie stares at her phone.

48 INT. LINK’S BEDROOM - MORNING

Link wakes up to Patricia taking a selfie with him while he

sleeps naked under the covers.

LINK
What the?

49 INT. LINK’S BATHROOM - MORNING

Link checks his Instagram, he grunts when he notices a

younger new internet celebrity taking sexy selfies of himself
shirtless.

(CONTINUED)
 54.
49 CONTINUED:

Link tops him by taking a picture of himself in the mirror

fully nude, barely covering himself with only the sponsored
Ocu-Pro on his head.

50 INT. MANNY’S OFFICE, RECEPTION - DAY

Frankie looks over Link’s analytics and discuss with Josh

what their next steps should be for Link.

FRANKIE
What’s going on here? Why are
things skyrocketing all of a
sudden?

JOSH
I dunno. I’ll check.

Manny’s assistant comes in.

ASSISTANT
Frankie, Manny would like you to
come into his office.

51 INT. MANNY’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Manny is holding in his anger.

MANNY
I just got a call from Ocu-Pro and
they’re furious that Link is
devaluing their product. Have you
seen what he’s done?

FRANKIE
No.

MANNY
Why don’t you do yourself a favor
and look at social media. He’s
posted himself naked for the world
to see. With a comment that says
“Where were you last night?” How
do I clean up this one?

FRANKIE
(laughs and puffs on her
electronic cigarette)
Well, his ratings are soaring
because of it. Tell them to bite
it off!

(CONTINUED)
 55.
51 CONTINUED:

Frankie struts out of the room. She’s becoming a woman to be

reckoned with.

Manny is stupefied, left rubbing his head.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

52 EXT. THE ROCK, HOLLYWOOD BLVD. - NIGHT

TRACKING SHOT as Link preaches by the ‘rock’ and its workmen.

He is naked, more or less.

LINK
I also be mad at all the mother
fuckers who takin’ all the money
and say we got to be living by they
rules. And the shitbags that be
saying: we make money off art, off
music, off personality. I be
against all that shit.

NEW VIEW

LINK (CONT'D)
See, I’m a digger, I be digging in,
searching, doing, and being. I
ain’t about this, I ain’t about
that, all that try’na get ahead.
Fug that shit. Get ahead to what?
To what? The fucking Skybar? The
fucking Chateau Marmont?

WIDE VIEW as more people get interested.

LINK (CONT'D)
What? The fucking Staple Center?
Fuck that Madonna bullshit, fuck
that Jay-Z bullshit, fuck that make-
money bullshit. I be me, I be real,
I be about no money. I be about no
boundaries. I be a meld. I be a
witchcraft. I be a religion. Know
why? Because science, and politics,
and all that shit? It failing us.
I use the bit that allow me to say,
hey, I’m a surface, I’m a creation,
‘human’ aint’ fixed ain’t jus’ come
already made, it a creation, a
performance; ‘human’ is a
performance, an’ all them scientists
be saying, we don’t need the human.

(CONTINUED)
 56.
52 CONTINUED:

MOVING VIEW - the press are covering this event as young and
old FANS are interested. It begins RAINING.

CLOSE UP SHOTS of the varied faces of his audience.

LINK (CONT'D)
An’ all them writers be boring us
to death with they old technology,
and all them artists is trying to
be Avant Garde but they is really
about being cool, and taking all
the money, and raisin’ they value,
an’ about placement of they shit in
the right collections; and what
else? Fuck it all, jus’ be. An’
if them fools don’t recognize, they
don’t recognize, don’t matta to me,
I just be cruisin’, I be riding the
waves from here to paradise, I be
singin’, and doing’, and fuckin’.
Like a champion.

53 INT. LINK’S MALIBU APT. - NIGHT

Link sits in his new Malibu beach apartment paid for by his
Ocu-Plus checks, opening his email and social networks -- but
finds it boring.

He opens a box called ‘Zeus,’ revealing inside an electronic

sexual contraption.

Link follows the directions. He connects on the internet

and adds his Ocu-Plus headset, giving a multi dimensional sex
experience.

A JAPANESE GIRL pops up on the computer screen.

LINK
Hi. I’ve never done this before.

Link fidgets and puts the contraption on. He moves his hands
on his controller and the girl starts to moan. He does this
until she orgasms.

LINK (CONT’D)
Now do it to me.

The Japanese girl controls the device from all the way in
Japan with her female version.

LINK (CONT’D)
You’re doing that?

(CONTINUED)
 57.
53 CONTINUED:

The Japanese girl giggles.

WIDE view of Link gyrating in front of his computer. Wires

and all sorts of weird technology make this image surreal.

OCU-PLUS IMAGE

Just as Link is about to orgasm the internet shuts down.

LINK (CONT’D)
What! No! No! No! No!

Link hits the computer angrily.

LINK (CONT’D)
Ugh!

INSERT: ‘Connection failed’

Link struggles to take off the device. He walks away in pain.

54 EXT. LINK’S MALIBU APT. - MORNING

Frankie drives up outside of Link’s home to pick him up.

55 INT. LINK’S MALIBU APT. - CONTINUOUS

Frankie enters the house. Link has no furniture but lots of

little kittens running around. His computer has a crack in
the screen.

Link is passed out on the couch snuggling with a kitten.

FRANKIE
Link, it’s almost one in the
afternoon.

Link gets up to make a coffee.

LINK
I couldn’t fall asleep.

FRANKIE
(picking up the Nyquil)
Do you drink this stuff every
night?

LINK
I’m sick. I couldn’t sleep. I’ve
been so stressed!

(CONTINUED)
 58.
55 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Maybe you can’t sleep because you
drink so much coffee and soda?

LINK
No, I’ve had sleeping issues since
I was a kid. (snaps) I don’t want
to talk about this shit! Why are
you bringing it up? Are you
belittling me! I thought you were
on my side.

Frankie’s feelings are hurt.

FRANKIE
I’m always on your side.

56 INT. JFK BAGGAGE CLAIM - NIGHT

Frankie, Manny, and Link wait for their luggage in NYC.

Advertisements are constantly shoved in their face for ‘Lion
King’ etc.

57 INT. NEW YORK CITY CAB - LATER

Link stares at a flashing TV billboard. The TV of the cab

won’t turn off.

MANNY
(excited)
This city makes me feels so
aggressive. I just want to fight.
I don’t only want to fight, I want
to win!

LINK
I don’t think humans are designed
to be here.

58 EXT. TIMES SQUARE, TALK SHOW - NIGHT

The hustle and bustle of the major city.

59 INT. TALK SHOW - NIGHT

Link is a guest on a late night talk show.

(CONTINUED)
 59.
59 CONTINUED:

HOST
People really seem to respond to
you; now you’re being crowned the
selfie king.

They project a series of Link’s naked selfies.

AUDIENCE HOOTS AND HOWLS

LINK
You know, I think what people like
about me is that they found me.
I’m not some person hired by a
company trying to sell you
products. People came together and
they chose me. I’m honest, and I’m
flawed, I’m not trying to dupe you
in buying something. I’ll tell you
when I really like something and
when I really use it and I’ll tell
you when I really don’t but in the
end people chose me.

The screen then becomes a minimized window screen on a

computer. Link’s continued VOICE over plays as the screens
become manipulated into a type of internet orgy. (Yung Jake
example)

LINK (V.O.) (CONT’D)

I think the problem with the
younger generation is that they
have too many possibilities. They
all mature slower because they
can’t decide. For me, it was like
walking to your neighborhood store.
There were just a few things to buy
from -- and things were clear. You
had to make a lot of money and
marry your high school sweetheart.
But now, the internet gives you too
many possibilities you’re all stuck
not knowing what you want. They’re
like in a super mall. There’s no
set guidelines that you have to be
married by a certain age.
Relationships are so short now
because you can just go online and
have a connection with someone else
and think there is something better
out there. Look at Tinder, you
literally flip through images of
people and if you think they’re hot
you can click a little heart icon.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 60.
59 CONTINUED:
LINK (V.O.) (CONT’D)
If they like you back then you’re
on a date. Then you go back and
look at your tinder and there is
someone else you think is hot.

60 EXT. NEW YORK TALK SHOW - CONTINUOUS

Fans go gaga for Link, the “selfie king.” Link’s #1 FAN, a

skinny flamboyant boy in fishnets stockings, a tu-tu, and Hot
Topic platform boots follows Link crying that he’s Link’s
number one fan and will follow him everywhere he goes.

61 INT. LINK’S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

WIDE Link lies awake on top of the covers in the dark.

He writes out a text to Frankie (subtitles):

“What are you doing?”

The word cursor goes back and deletes it.

He throws down his phone and lets out a loud fart.

Link looks back at his Instagram on his phone.

He browses at the photos he’s been tagged in.

VIEW

A video of him surrounded by screaming fans.

LINK
You gotta tag me!

He touches the cell phone camera with his index finger and
looks directly at the videographer.

Link sends the Instagrammer a private message.

VIEW - Phone screen.

LINK (INSTAGRAM HANDLE) (CONT'D)

Hi.

STAR-BRITE
Hi. (emojicon of a screaming cat)

LINK
Do you have a boyfriend?

(CONTINUED)
 61.
61 CONTINUED:

STAR-BRITE
Not if you’re around.

LINK
Can I see you?

STAR-BRITE
As long as you’re really Link
Rivers.

LINK
I am.
What’s the hotel?
Should I rent a room?

STAR-BRITE
I don’t believe you.

LINK
It’s me.

He sends a picture of him waving.

LINK (CONT’D)
Yes or no?

62 INT. FRANKIE’S HOTEL ROOM - MORNING

Frankie looks at blog post of Link’s conversation. She rubs

her head. Gets on the phone with Manny.

FRANKIE
(on phone)
This is gonna get out of hand, say
it was a stunt! A PR stunt!

63 EXT. LINK’S HOTEL - MORNING

Link being harassed by the paparazzi, amid autograph and

photograph seekers, calling him a “pervert” for liking
underage girls. Some girls scream in defense and offer their
bodies. He’s becoming a sex symbol.

64 EXT. BURBANK AIRPORT - SUNDOWN

Plane descends. As Frankie steps down, she seems relieved and

happy to be back in LA.
 62.

65 INT. OCU-PLUS OFFICE - DAY

The Ocu-Plus EXECUTIVE screams at Manny.

OCU-PRO EXEC
We are a legitimate company. If
Link wants to override our image
with his naked body that’s not what
we’re about! We have investors
that we need to address and they’re
not happy!

MANNY
I’m sorry. I blame his assistant
Frankie who keeps provoking him.
I’ll give Link a good man to man
talk.

OCU-PRO EXEC
No. We’re done here.

66 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - NIGHT, RAINING

Frankie sleepily watches Sponge Bob Square Pants on her

couch. She’s wearing a big striped T-shirt with striped
socks and slippers.

CUT TO:

67 EXT. FRANKIE’S APT. GARAGE

Link’s car speeds in and hits Frankie’s silver Corolla.

CUT TO:

68 INT. FRANKIE’S APT.

Frankie hears the crashing sound and peeks out the window.

There’s a KNOCK on the door. Frankie gets up to open it.

FRANKIE
(surprised)
Link.

Link, sopping wet and drunk with blood dripping from his
forehead, stumbles inside.

FRANKIE(CONT’D)
Oh my goodness. Are you OK?

(CONTINUED)
 63.
68 CONTINUED:

She helps him on the couch. A bottle of codeine slips from

his jacket pocket.

LINK
(dramatic)
I’m so ashamed. Why do I do these
things? I let you down. I let
everyone down. I just wanted to
say goodbye.

Frankie runs into the bathroom to fetch Link a towel. She

bundles him up.

FRANKIE
I’ll make you some hot tea.

VIEW

Frankie fills the kettle with water and turns on the stove.

VIEW

Link curled up in towels and blankets watching the cartoons

Frankie left on. He deliriously chuckles.

LINK
I’m not talented... I’m just a
mouth and face. A thief... with no
good, bad ideas. I’m idea-less
which is what’s worse. Anybody can
do what I’m doing. It’s all just
dumb luck for me. Bogus!

Frankie comes back, places the warm mug of tea on the coffee
table beside Link. She sits on the floor beside him.

FRANKIE
At least you have dumb luck.
Whatever I want is just dumb. It
doesn’t even exist any more.

LINK
What is it?

FRANKIE
I don’t know.

Link kisses Frankie’s hand.

LINK
Cute outfit.

(CONTINUED)
 64.
68 CONTINUED:

Frankie remembering what she’s wearing. Self-consciously

hides behind her hair.

LINK (CONT’D)
Stripes on stripes on stripes.

Link puts his hand on top of hers. He pulls her in close and
kisses her.

INSERT on CARTOON, Frankie and Link’s entwined reflection on

the screen. They sleep together.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

69 INT. MANNY’S OFFICE - MORNING

Manny gets off the phone with an exciting new deal.

CUT TO:

70 EXT. FRANKIE’S APT. - MORNING

The day is soggy and gray from last night’s rain. Josh walks
up with two coffees when he notices Link’s car outside.

Josh gets the hint, it couldn’t be any clearer.

Manny pulls up in excitement.

MANNY
C’mon. I’ve got great news!

JOSH
I think they’d like some privacy.

MANNY
Who cares about privacy anymore!

Manny bangs on the door of Frankie’s apartment. Link opens

it. They enter.

71 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - CONTINUOUS

MANNY
Open the computer.

VIEW

Frankie in the shower, gleeful from last night.

(CONTINUED)
 65.
71 CONTINUED:

LINK (O.S.)
Frankie!

FRANKIE
(breaking out of her
stupor)
Yeah!

LINK (O.S.)
You gotta come here! Now! Now! Now!
Now!

Frankie jumps out of the shower.

VIEW

Link and Manny looking on the internet.

INSERT: Fans have lashed out against OCU-PRO in Link’s

defense, making ugly GIF’s and YouTube videos. COMMENTS:
“Don’t listen to the critics. Listen to your fans!”

MANNY
250 million views! You’re so
mainstream, mainstream doesn’t even
know it yet. This is Hollywood
baby, and you’re going to have your
own show out of Vegas -- “Linked in
Talent!”

Link gives Manny a great big bear hug.

72 EXT. STRIP CLUB -DAY

Link is parked outside the strip club waiting for Michelle

Cupcake.

73 INT. LINK’S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Michelle jumps into the passenger seat.

LINK
Hi Cupcake.

Link leans in for a kiss and starts driving away.

LINK (CONT’D)
How’s squeeksy?

(CONTINUED)
 66.
73 CONTINUED:

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
(baby voice)
Squeeksy’s goooood. Loves to have
his litwle belwy rubbed.

LINK
I miss squeeksy.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
Squeeksy misses you...

LINK
You like my new car?

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
(she jumps up to pet the
dashboard)
Yeah!

LINK
(smiles)
I can take you to work all the
time.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
(frowns)
No.

LINK
What do you mean “no”?

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
Because I don’t want you to.

LINK
(pets her)
But baby I love you.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
No! I’m no good.

LINK
Yes you are.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
I’m bad. I slept with someone else.

Link goes silent, anger pent up inside. He drives through a

red light.

LINK
What do you mean?

(CONTINUED)
 67.
73 CONTINUED:

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
I fucked Johnny.

LINK
Johnny? Who the hell is that? Oh!
Fuck! The manager? At the club?
Cupcake!! How could you do that?

Link starts driving recklessly. Michelle is holding on

tightly.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
I told you. I’m a bad person.

LINK
No, Cupcake. You’re not. There’s
a lot of good in you.

Cars are honking at the way Link is driving.

MICHELLE CUPCAKE
(gets sassy in his face)
And besides, we’re not married
anymore. Re-mem-berrrr.

Link fumes with rage.

74 EXT. LOS ANGELES, STREET - CONTINUOUS

Link drops Michelle on the corner of some nameless street and

drives off.

CUT TO:

75 INT. LINKED IN TALENT, VEGAS - DAY

FLASHY LIGHTS and MUSIC.

VOICE ANNOUNCER
And here’s our host! America’s man
of many talents!! Link Riverssss!

Link jumps on stage as a live audience cheers for him. Link,

ever so grateful, put his hands together in prayer and bows.

WIDE VIEW of all the live cameras pointing at him.

LINK
Thank you! Thank you!

He motions with his hands for the audience to simmer down.

(CONTINUED)
 68.
75 CONTINUED:

LINK (CONT’D)
Thank you! Alright, so for
tonight’s show we got some great
acts for you, acts that are
heartfelt, funny, dangerous... and
so much more! As you know, the
result is based on your votes.
(points into camera lens)
So those of you at home remember to
tweet back to us.

Link waves his hand and points to the projected screen for
the audience to watch a clip. The VIDEO plays a woman,
SHERRY, crying to the camera.

WOMAN
When I lost my cat ‘Chicken,’ I
just didn’t know where to turn. I
thought my life was over. But then
I got Grumpy Cat, my dwarf kitty.

Link welcomes on the stage Sherry and GRUMPY CAT.

LINK
Aww. Permanently looking grumpy
cat. How cute. A tale of woe
turning to sheer bliss. There’s
nothing I like better. You got my
vote Sherry.

SHERRY
Thank you!

She lifts Grumpy Cat for the audience to see.

SHERRY (CONT’D)
Grumpy Cat says thank you too!

LINK
OK, let’s see who else is competing
tonight...

NEW VIEW

Frankie and Josh watch from the live edit room. An ASSISTANT
walks in.

ASSISTANT
Frankie, your grandmother’s on the
phone.

(CONTINUED)
 69.
75 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
Oh -- tell her I’ll call right
back.

NEW VIEW

Now taking the stage, a MEATY GUY sings along to the song
‘Wonder Wall’ by Oasis while tasers attached to his whole
body shock him as he sings and serves Link tea.

LINK
This is just too messed up.

TRACKING Link backstage.

LINK (CONT’D)
(wiping all the tea off
his suit)
Who writes this crap? This is
seriously all we could find?

MANNY
Don’t look at me. Talk to Frankie.
She’s trying to push me out of
everything.

FRANKIE
Link, you didn’t like the other
people. Remember, you were worried
they were too good?

LINK
Yeah but we still need to keep the
ratings up. Christ!! I say one
thing and people take it too far.
I say another thing and people
don’t do anything. Where’s the
middle ground!

Clapping in the face of one of the PA’s.

FRANKIE
Well, we stream our special
tomorrow. Vegas is filled with
specialty talent. We’ll find
better talent.

LINK
Pssh! Doubt it.

Frankie listens as the call to her Grandma is ringing.

(CONTINUED)
 70.
75 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
That’s strange -- they’re always at
home.

76 EXT. LINKED IN TALENT, VEGAS - DAY

Lines of people camp outside to audition for the “Linked-In-

Talent” Vegas special.

CLOSE UP - VARIOUS FANS

Talking into CAMERA about how much they love the show; how
long they’ve been waiting outside, and what they have to
offer in the audition.

77 EXT. KIT KAT NIGHTCLUB, VEGAS - NIGHT

ESTABLISHING shot

78 INT. KIT KAT NIGHTCLUB, VEGAS - NIGHT

CLOSE on a feral MONKEY hissing at camera.

We PULL OUT and REVEAL the monkey on the shoulders of a

midget. The midget, in a bellhop costume, cracks his whip
and the monkey jumps down, perches on his bicycle and pedals
across a tightrope to rescue his female monkey counterpart,
wearing a tutu and performing flips.

The blotchy-faced audience drunkenly laughs as they sit at

their tables nursing their drinks. The abeyance resembles
Pinocchio’s ‘Pleasure Island’ with dark crystal chandeliers,
red plush couches stained in ash, and thick clouds of cigar
smoke.

The room is a dimly lit red by little Hawaiian Hula girl

lamps.

TRACKING Manny being led across the room into a door at the
side of stage attraction where we can still see the monkey &
midget vaudeville attraction taking place in the b.g.

79 INT. GLENN FISCHER’S VEGAS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

GLENN (60), a white-haired, tall, bony fingered man with a

pockmarked face sits behind a wooden desk slurping down some
shishito peppers and pad Thai. He plays three-dice by
himself. The room is bare, with a few papers and a stripped
light bulb dangling from the ceiling.

(CONTINUED)
 71.
79 CONTINUED:

Manny enters holding a large bottle of Pellegrino. Glenn

introduces himself and invites Manny to sit down.

GLENN
(still chewing)
Manny! Sit down. It’s nice to
finally meet you. What did you
think of the show? Pretty good,
right? I don’t know what it is but
monkeys and midgets never seem to
tire --
(laughs)
Successful for 10 years now. Pretty
good, right?

MANNY
(resting into his chair)
Absolutely.

GLENN
So! You want something to drink?

MANNY
Oh! No, I’m fine. Thanks.

GLENN
Pellegrino. Good for your gut.

MANNY
Love the stuff.

GLENN
I’m very happy you agreed to come
see me. I’ve heard about what
you’re trying to do and I think
Link has got a great following.

MANNY
Yes, very valuable.

GLENN
And I’m very interested -- I mean,
we’re interested if you know what I
mean.

MANNY
You mean that, well -- there’s more
than just you.

GLENN
Yes, I’ll have to consult the
others.
 72.

80 INT. FRANKIE’S VEGAS HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Frankie sleeping. Her cell phone BUZZES incessantly until

finally the caller gets wise and rings the hotel telephone
line. Frankie picks up.

INTERCUT:

81 INT. LINK’S VEGAS HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS

Link depressed, mutters to Frankie on the phone.

LINK
I need you to come over, I’m
unbearably lonely to the point of
ending it.

NEW VIEW

Frankie switches on the light.

FRANKIE
(disoriented)
OK, hold on. I’ll be right there.

VIEW

Frankie rushes into Link’s suite, only to see the room

wrecked from a hard night of partying with girls.

INSERT: a sparkly black dress rests on an lonely upholstered

green velvet chair next to a TV that’s been left on
(”revealing itself for what it really is: a video of another
world, ultimately addressed to no one at all.”)

Link sits outside on his balcony, an amazing view of Las

Vegas at night.

LINK
Will you just come out and see the
view for a minute?

CLOSE Link looking at desert at night.

LINK (CONT’D)
Look at all those lights and then
beyond that this vast emptiness.
Think about all those rooms, each
with a TV, maybe more than one.
Think about each and every person
with their computer and cell phone.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 73.
81 CONTINUED:
LINK (CONT’D)
Can’t you just imagine it even
after humanity is gone? Connected
with itself.

FRANKIE
Are you stoned? Is this what you
think about in middle of the night?

LINK
I guess what I’m trying to say,
every little thing I do, post, so
many people see. Millions. I
really have to think about it now.
It can be scary. All those people
saying how great I am.

FRANKIE
Well, don’t let it go to your head.

LINK
That’s just it, I don’t know what I
did. I’m just a sucker and now
we’re in pretty deep waters.
Deeper than I think you or I ever
imagined. There’s a lot of
pressure. Don’t you feel that
pressure?

CLOSE on Frankie. It’s refreshing to see Link scared once in

a while, showing his human side.

FRANKIE
Link. That’s how everyone feels.

LINK
Frankie, I want you to marry me.

FRANKIE
What?

LINK
Please will you marry me?

Frankie laughs. Link sits down in a chair by the porch. He

touches a fake potted flower.

LINK (CONT’D)
How could you laugh at a thing like
that?

FRANKIE
Link... You’re a sailor. A
girlfriend in every port.

(CONTINUED)
 74.
81 CONTINUED:

LINK
But you’re good for me. You keep
me in check. All those other
girls, by the end of it all I’m
more alone than before.

Link looks up at her with big sad eyes.

FRANKIE
Don’t mess with me, Link.

LINK
I’m not. My heart physically
hurts, like there’s a big heavy
weight. A big rock. (beat) I wish
it would go away.

Frankie gets down to his level.

FRANKIE
Do you really mean it?

LINK
Yes. (beat) I do. I love you.

She’s afraid, deep down she knows his emotions probably

aren’t true but in this moment she wants so badly to go along
with it.

FRANKIE
OK.

LINK
(smirks)
OK.

Link looks at her affectionately and pushes aside her bangs

so he can see her scar.

LINK (CONT’D)
Why do you cover it? I think it’s
beautiful. Frankie. Francesca...
How’d you get it?

FRANKIE
My mom was always gone on these
lavish trips with new boyfriends,
stealing jewelry from Egyptian
tombs or who knows what. But every
two weeks I would visit father. He
lived in an amazing clear glass
condo overlooking all of Miami.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 75.
81 CONTINUED:
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
He had just sent me this brand new
beautiful coat from Paris. I got
all dressed up to show it to him
when I came to visit. I was so
proud to wear it and show it off.
When I got to his condo, though, he
wasn’t home.

82 INT. MIAMI APARTMENT - DAY

VIEW ON FRANKIE AGE 12, in her new Parisian coat. She steps
out of the elevator of her father’s apartment, and rings the
main door. No one comes. She can HEAR music inside. So she
walks around and goes in through the side servants’ entrance.

VIEW ON FRANKIE

MUSIC blasting. Looking around the apartment. No one is

there but something is wrong.

WHAT SHE SEES

The place is totally ransacked; debris all over the floors,

stuff having been thrown about and broken. In the living
room, the couches have been turned over and the cushions
slashed with their stuffing spilling out, as if someone was
searching for drugs or cash.

CLOSE ON FRANKIE

Frightened, but drawn further into the apartment. Drawers

have been emptied out and thrown all around.

She shuts off the stereo.

INSERT - COCKATOO in a cage, screeches.

VIEW ON FRANKIE

Whirls around.

YOUNG FRANKIE
Daddy?

No answer. She see the partially-opened bedroom door.

Slowly she enters.

VIEW IN THE BEDROOM

Frankie slowly entering, the room is also a mess, with the

bedding all pulled up and mattress slashed.

(CONTINUED)
 76.
82 CONTINUED:

WHAT SHE SEES:

Her father’s bedsheets are covered with blood.

VIEW ON FRANKIE

Frightened, she whirls around and runs out, running straight

into a plate glass window which leads to the balcony. It
shatters over her, blood spurting everywhere.

83 INT. LINK’S VEGAS HOTEL SUITE (PRESENT-DAY)

Frankie puts her hand over her scar to cover it.

FRANKIE
They told me that my father was
dead. Murdered. At any rate, his
body was never found --

84 INT. CASINO CAFETERIA, VEGAS - DAY

Tourists of all sorts fill the casino; stout Swedish blond,

sunburnt women with bedazzled neon tank tops and khaki
shorts, frat boys with gift shop sunglasses on their heads
and flip-flop sandals. In the distance, a man in a full body
cast reads the newspaper.

Frankie and Link wait at a table furthest from the food

court. While they wait, a monk asks Link for his autograph.

Link seems distant toward Frankie.

Soon after, Manny comes in tow with Glenn. The foursome go

through the usual introduction handshake and then take their
seats.

FRANKIE
What exactly is your show?

GLENN
Monkey and Midgets. I’m a producer
of sorts.

MANNY
And, listen to this, there could be
other great offers in the works for
you, commercials, endorsements,
fashion, even movies!
 77.

85 INT. LINK’S MAKEUP TRAILER

Stares at himself intensely without blinking or breaking

expression.

The make-up artist cakes powder all over him. His hair is
slicked back and he’s wearing a tuxedo.

LINK (V.O.)
What the fuck am I doing? How did I
get here? Look at these people.
They don’t really know me. I’m so
hungry. No one feeds me enough.
We are just these vessels of
estrogen and testosterone. That’s
all. I wish I was a woman
sometimes. A mermaid.

Cameras stay close to Link filming his every move.

LINK (V.O.)
What am I? I’m worthless. I have
no talent. I hate myself. Where am
I? I don’t know who I am any more.
I’m just a phony. A big fat phony.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m
only pretending. People just
analyze all these things thinking
it’s so preconceived but’s it’s
not. I bet if I sneezed it would
be considered interesting.

Link sneezes.

LINK (V.O.)
I want to eat a peacock, a golden
eagle omelette.

PA
We’re ready for you, Link.

LINK
OK. Ready.

Link walks through the backstage alley on his way to the

stage where he has an interview with a television host.

CUT TO:

86 INT. EDITING ROOM, VEGAS - DAY

Frankie and Josh edit the footage of Link staring hard into
the mirror with a VOICE OVER on top.

(CONTINUED)
 78.
86 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
I like the voice over.

JOSH
Yeah?

FRANKIE
Yeah, I do. I mean I think we have
to change it a bit but it’s a good -
- Link really says all that stuff.

JOSH
(shakes head)
What do you see in this guy? I
really don’t know...

FRANKIE
I like him. So I like what he’s
about... (she blushes)

JOSH
Oh no, you’re blushing...

FRANKIE
He proposed.

JOSH
(sarcastic)
He didn’t!

CLOSE on Josh.

FRANKIE
Be happy for me. He’s been nothing
but nice to you.

JOSH
I guess. Congratulations. When’s
the wedding?

FRANKIE
He has to get a divorce from his
wife first. But I guess as soon as
he’s back from his tour.

JOSH
What kind of tour?

FRANKIE
Manny got him on a PR tour.
Anyway, keep up the good work.
I’ll bring him in for the voice
over next week.

(CONTINUED)
 79.
86 CONTINUED:

She walks out, leaving Josh and his mouth-breathing assistant

CRUNCHIE behind.

CRUNCHIE
Have a cinematic day!

87 INT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW, VEGAS - DAY

A pretty young blonde contestant, KELLY, does a dance

routine. Link is clearly attracted to her and exchanging
looks.

VIEW ON KELLY

She rises up on the chair on one hand, obviously a gymnast.

88 EXT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW - DAY

Link leaves the studio signing autographs for all his fans.
Everyone crowds around trying to take selfies with him.

Kelly is in the crowd and pushes her way to the front.

KELLY
Oh Link! Thank you so much for
having me on the show! My family
and I came all the way out from
Ohio. It was such an honor. May I
please take a selfie with you? I’m
your biggest fan!
(reciting his words back
to him)
“Writers, poets, musicians who
leave clues for the next
generation...”

Link takes a picture with her.

LINK
Tag me.

89 INT. FRANKIE’S VEGAS HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Frankie goes over to the window. She looks out at the many
Las Vegas pools. Beyond the pools is the parking lot and
beyond that is just desert -- it looks like a set on a studio
lot. The silence of the desert is a visual thing, too.

Frankie checks her Facebook. She’s received a message from a

MRS. VANELLI -- a middle-aged, thick haired blonde.

(CONTINUED)
 80.
89 CONTINUED:

The subject heading of her message is: “From your father,

Jacques De La Sante.”

Frankie reads the message aloud while she looks at this

woman’s profile:

FRANKIE (V.O.)
Dear Francesca, you don’t know me
but in some ways we are very
connected. Ten years ago I married
a man by the name of Johnny
Vanelli, but you knew him as
Jacques De La Sante. We’ve been
together for almost ten years now
and have a beautiful son and
daughter, I guess they would be
your siblings.

IMAGES of her father and his new blond family residing in Las
Vegas:

FRANKIE (V.O.)
Johnny has a textile company now in
Las Vegas. He was always very
saddened how he had to leave things
with you. We’ve been following all
your great work that you’ve been
doing with Mr. Link Rivers in the
Las Vegas Sun newspaper. Johnny
could not be prouder. We’d love to
stay in touch and eventually see
you. Please let us know.

Her cell phone RINGS incessantly but it doesn’t seem to faze

her. Just when it seems the phone is on its last ring she
answers it.

FRANKIE
Hello? Hi Manny... I’ll be right
down.

90 INT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW, VEGAS - DAY

Josh approaches Frankie, who is working on the rehearsal.

JOSH
Frankie -- your grandmother called
the office. She said she was trying
to reach you last night. Your
grandfather had a stroke.

(CONTINUED)
 81.
90 CONTINUED:

VIEW ON FRANKIE

Overwhelmed and shocked. Stares back at him.

FRANKIE
I need to get back.

JOSH
He --
(looks down)
He didn’t make it. Frankie. I’m so
sorry.

91 INT. FRANKIE’S L.A. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Frankie enters, drops her bags and collapses against the wall
into a crying fit.

DISSOLVE TO:

92 EXT. CEMETERY - DAY

Frankie joins her grandmother as her grandfather is buried.

FRANKIE
I’m so sorry, I haven’t been to see
you in so long.

GRANDMA
He knew your life was so busy, it
made him proud.

FRANKIE
But I never even got to tell him
goodbye, not even ‘so long.’

GRANDMA
There, there Frankie -- you can be
sure your Grandpa understands.

She comforts her little girl.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

93 INT. LINK’S VEGAS HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

New Year’s Eve luxurious party. Link makes his entrance at

the top of the stairs.

(CONTINUED)
 82.
93 CONTINUED:

LINK
Friends, family and fans, I want to
introduce you to my bride-to-be,
Kelly. You can watch the wedding
on next week’s show.

CLOSE on Frankie just arriving late back in Las Vegas for New
Year’s. In the crowd she goes from excited upon seeing Link
to complete devastation and embarrassment when she hears his
wedding announcement.

NEW VIEW

Crowd counts down “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”

Auld Lang Syne plays.

CROWD cheers and kisses.

VIEW ON FRANKIE

Tries to push her way through the chaos. Josh notices all
this and tries to help her but she just runs away.

VIEW

Link and Kelly partying.

VIEW ON MANNY

Playing roulette. He’s amassed an enormous stack of chips,

feeling omniscient. Pushes half of them on number 22. The
wheel turns, and just before the dealer closes the betting,
Manny pushes the rest of them on as well.

The ball falls, Manny loses, and his big winnings go to the
house.

94 INT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW, VEGAS - DAY

Link has his live wedding special. Kelly performs her dance.
The wedding is performed live to millions of viewers.

Fans cry that Link is no longer an eligible bachelor.

95 INT. FRANKIE’S L.A. APT. - NIGHT

Frankie, depressed, watches Link’s wedding episode from home.

Josh KNOCKS on the door to check on her. She puts the TV on

mute. Josh enters.

(CONTINUED)
 83.
95 CONTINUED:

JOSH
Frankie. I’m quitting.

Frankie stares at him like a ghost.

JOSH (CONT’D)
I wish you would come with me. God
damn it Frankie I wish you would
just get this guy out of your life!

Frankie can’t answer. Josh settles.

JOSH (CONT'D)
I left all the hard drives for you
at the edit. You’ll manage without
me I guess... till they find a
replacement. You know, there comes
a time when you have to ask
yourself, am I really doing that
great thing I set out to do? Will
I ever get to do it? ...I gotta
try, Frankie. I gotta go and at
least know that I tried. (beat) I
hope you can do the same for
yourself.

Once the SOUND of the door CLICKS shut, Frankie is alone.

96 INT. LINK’S VEGAS HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

Link looks out at the ocean. Frankie’s REFLECTION in the

glass window gets closer. Link’s back remains turned to her.

FRANKIE
I get it -- Kelly helped you get
the extra attention you wanted.
Her followers plus yours. I think
deep down I always knew you would
never marry me... and the more I
started to love you the more
frightened I became you wouldn’t.

LINK
You resent me because I married
Kelly and not you...

FRANKIE
You’re just not the same anymore.

(CONTINUED)
 84.
96 CONTINUED:

LINK
I’m not the same, no. I’m
something better than I was, and
you don’t like it.

FRANKIE
All you were was lightning in a
bottle -- a fluke!

LINK
See. This is what I mean.

FRANKIE
Well, I’m not gonna be a footnote
to your life, like some sort of
ghost. I see what you’re doing to
Manny. Let’s not forget Hollywood
Cowboy was my idea. I own that
name. I deserve to be an equal
partner.

LINK
(snaps back)
If that’s what you wish. Then
you’re a millionaire now...

SILENCE.

LINK (CONT’D)
There’s always Josh?

FRANKIE
He’s going to New York. To get
away from us both.

LINK
The Year of ‘never,’ month of
‘then’...

DISSOLVE TO:

97 EXT. VEGAS CASINO - NIGHT

Manny is walking with his German Shepherd by the front

entrance of the casino. He’s on his phone

MANNY
C’mon c’mon c’mon! One more time.
Look, I have Link Rivers’ contract.
I’m his manager. You can buy it
from me. Sell it on Ebay. He
treats me like shit.

(CONTINUED)
 85.
97 CONTINUED:

A BELLMAN has found Manny and gives him an envelope.

BELLMAN
Mr. Manny Prinkles. For you.

He gives it to Manny, who gives him a $100 tip

Manny opens the envelope.

INSERT - INVITATION

With a lobster icon, “MR. GLENN FISCHER, Grand Master of ‘The

Lodge’ invites Manny Prinkles as his guest to the Firemen’s
Charity Lobster Feed and Auction.

CUT TO:

98 INT. FIREMEN’S HANGAR, NEVADA - NIGHT

TRACKING SHOT - Link follows the crowd inside. The main

entrance is a corporate, grey-carpeted room with display
cases of ancestral firemen photos and vintage equipment.

INSERT: Link looks at the old photographs of the town’s

fireman legacy spanning early 1800 to the 1990s.

Link takes a goblet and passes through to the main room where
a local rock and roll cover band, illuminated by purple stage
lights, jam on a band stand. People dance and crowd around
the two main bar setups.

On the opposite side of the hanger, more plastic fold out

tables arranged in long rows with newspaper taped on top fill
the room. Red and white balloons with sharpie marked letters
tied to the back of chairs indicate seat numbers. The
firemen’s uniforms and gear are pressed against either side
of the walls.

A LOUD VOICE booms through the speakers.

VOICE
Silent auction is almost over!
Quickly make any last minute bids
as the silent auction is almost
over!

A built FIREWOMAN in uniform and tight ponytail looks over at

Link who seems lost.

The Firewoman guides Link to his chair. She pulls the chair
out for him and Link plops down.

(CONTINUED)
 86.
98 CONTINUED:

FIREWOMAN
What would you like? Red or White?

LINK
Red...

FIREWOMAN
Wonderful.

TRACKING Glenn making his way with his wife, Manny, and
Frankie. People almost make way for him, as if everyone
knows he wields great power.

INSERT: Link looks down at his place setting. All there is a

plastic bib and hat made out of felt to look like a lobster
with eyes and claws.

LINK’S POV: everyone sitting down and wearing lobster hats.

Link puts his lobster hat and bib on.

The FIREWOMAN from before comes back and hands Link his glass
of wine.

FIRE WOMAN
Here ya go.

LINK
What’s all this?

FIRE WOMAN
Oh, you’ve never been to the
lobster feed before?

LINK
No.

FIRE WOMAN
Oh, you’ll love it. Just wait.

Link inspects the various sauces and spices.

VOICE
Ladies and gentleman! The silent
auction is now OVER! The silent
auction is now over. Please take
your seats.

Link feels a hand on his back. It’s Glenn with Manny,

Frankie and Glenn’s wife.

(CONTINUED)
 87.
98 CONTINUED:

GLENN
Welcome. Look what the cat dragged
in.

Manny tries to take a seat next to Link. Glenn forces him to

sit next to him at his VIP table. Manny looks nervous and
frightened.

One of the firemen comes over to give Glenn a welcoming.

CHIEF FIREMAN
Heyy! Glenn! So happy to have you
here. Thank you so much for your
generosity.
(to the crowd)
Glenn Fischer, everybody.

Crowd applauds.

CHIEF FIREMAN (CONT'D)

Is everything good with your table,
sir?

GLENN
Oh yeah, just dandy. Thank you.

The CHIEF FIREMAN takes the small stage.

CHIEF
Alright! Alright! Alright! If
everyone would sit up, stand up and
push your chairs in, we’re about to
serve our lobster feed!

DRUNK GUY
(to Link)
Put on your bib.

Link, Glenn and Manny all do so.

Manny leans into Glenn so Link can’t really hear.

GLENN
(menacing)
You were selling shares of Link
that ‘we’ own?

MANNY
Glenn, I’m really sorry, I just got
a little excited. I didn’t mean any
harm.

(CONTINUED)
 88.
98 CONTINUED:

Glenn ignores him and makes room for two BURLY FIREMEN who
stand on either side of the table carrying a large steaming
pot with lobster, artichoke, corn, sausage, potatoes, shrimp,
and whole garlic bulbs. The ingredients spill onto the table
for everyone to tear at with their hands.

VIEW on Glenn’s VIP table.

GLENN
I understand that, but you do
realize that as you are under
contract with us and Link you can
not display this kind of mad
behavior.

MANNY
(sweating)
Link is my client as well and I
need to protect him. I’m like an
uncle to Link, he counts on me but
if Frankie keeps getting in the way
I can’t do my job.

The MUSIC, mostly from 1970-early 2000’s, never stops

playing.

MANNY (CONT’D)
I want what’s best for Link too.
It’s Frankie who’s the problem.

GLENN
Frankie has nothing to do with it.
You get it?

MANNY
Yeah. I do.

GLENN
Then what are you going to do about
it? How do I know you’re actually
going to listen... because from
what I hear, my assistant has had
this conversation with you
before... It’s hard for me. I like
you Manny, we’ve gotten close but I
don’t like you when you’re like
this. You know what I think your
problem is?

(CONTINUED)
 89.
98 CONTINUED:

WIDE OVERHEAD the bright hanger lights, the red and white
decorations, everyone in their lobster hats singing and
chatting, while the firemen and women walk the room serving
drinks. Little kids cry as the bigger kids taunt them with
lobster claws.

CHIEF
Alright! We’ve got the school
principal here tonight to lead the
auction.

SCHOOL PRINCIPAL is also bald with blue-tinted eye glasses,

satin checkered vest, grey suit pants, and a fedora.

PRINCIPAL
Shhhh... Shhh... Shhhh...

The crowd still murmurs.

GLENN
You have an addiction. I have a
really nice place you can go to.
It’s on a boat. Really take a
chance to get away from all this
toxicity. I loved it, I went a
while back. You need to understand
your body.

PRINCIPAL
(smug)
Shhhh... shhhhh... Shhhhh... These
guys protect us! We need to help
them raise money! Because you know
what? We don’t want there to be a
fire and we look over and see our
firemen reading the manual!

WIDE The lights dim down. The projected screen next to the
stage plays a montage VIDEO to an AC/DC song, showing all the
courageous acts the local fire department has done for the
community.

GLENN (V.O.)
Eat clay.

MANNY (V.O.)
What?

NEW VIEW

Manny and Glenn at the table eating.

(CONTINUED)
 90.
98 CONTINUED:

GLENN
Clay has a lot of negative ions and
is really good for you. Bask your
genitals in the sun. Have you ever
done that before?

MANNY
No.

GLENN
See! You should know these things.
Excellent source of vitamin D
Straight into your bloodstream! I
want you to experience these
things. Take care of your body and
then you come back. Link wants
this for you too. It’s a nice
thing you can do for him, to get
healthy.

Principal does his auctioneer chant, calling the bids.

CLOSE on Link eating and drinking and enjoying himself.

A long-legged woman with long black hair and eyeglasses

struts by.

LINK
(no restraint)
Ohh!

DRUNK GUY
(nudging)
You like her?

LINK
(nods his head)
I like girls with glasses, makes
them look smart.

The drunk guy cheers Link’s glass.

Principal continues his “cattle rattle”.

Glenn’s wife encourages him to raise his hand. He raises his

card.

PRINCIPAL
Sold for $3,500!

An older dark handsome man across from Link bids and wins the
yacht trip with ten of his friends for $7,000.

(CONTINUED)
 91.
98 CONTINUED:

VIEW ON THE BIDDER - JOHNNY VANELLI

Walks to pick up the prize certificate, and then continues to

Glenn’s VIP table followed by big applause.

GLENN
Ah, Johnny, congratulations! The
big bidder of the night is Johnny
Vanelli!

Frankie looks up, utterly shocked. Johnny Vanelli, open

arms, walks towards them.

JOHNNY
Thanks Glenn! I was especially
anxious to join you this year; I
wanted to meet my little girl.

Frankie astonished.

FRANKIE
(trembling))
Y-y-you’re Johnny Vanelli?

JOHNNY
Well I guess to you honey, I’m
Jacques De La Sante. Or at least I
was in those days.

MRS. VANELLI
This is your father, Frankie.

CLOSE ON FRANKIE thinking “How could he have done this to

me?” That horrible murder scene, the blood, all fake and
then never hearing from him all those years.

JOHNNY
(charming)
I’m sorry I had to leave the way I
did, I really am. I was in trouble
and that was the only way I knew
how to save my skin.

Horrified, Frankie stands up.

FRANKIE
You made me think all those years
my father was dead. And you gave me
your fake name! You -- bum.

She runs out through the wild activities of the firemen’s

auction. Link gets up to follow but Manny pulls him back
down.

(CONTINUED)
 92.
98 CONTINUED:

MANNY
We’ve got business to deal with.
Sit down!

The FIRE ALARM SOUNDS and lights start flashing. A pretend

FIRE is raging.

CHIEF
Ladies and gentlemen don’t be
alarmed! We’ve got our young staff
on this!

YOUNGER FIREMEN come out shirtless dancing through the aisles

to the song “Hot in Here” by Nelly.

The women go nuts and jump out of their seats to boogie with
the young, shirtless firemen as they make their way to the
stage finishing the song with a striptease. Dollar bills are
thrown at them and tucked into their pants.

A FAT KID dances like a spaz next to them

The lights come back on and the music lowers.

Glenn’s wife, next to Link, leans in.

GLENN’S WIFE
(slurring)
Those weren’t ‘honey-dos’ we got
last time. It’s a scam!

The MUSIC increases, people get out of their chairs to go

back towards the first stage on the dance floor.

VIEW

Link busting moves on the dance floor.

99 EXT. FIREMEN’S HANGAR - NIGHT

WIDE VIEW of the exterior, as a the party continues, while a

few stragglers call it a night and head towards their cars.

FADE TO:

100 INT. EDITING ROOM, VEGAS - NIGHT

Frankie is in the edit alone just staring at a giant

projected image of Link. She edits a clip into a two frame
loop and plays it back. It’s an outrageous song that she
edits down.

(CONTINUED)
 93.
100 CONTINUED:

Frankie hears RUSTLING in the other room. She nervously goes

to check it out.

WHAT SHE SEES:

Several of Glenn’s ‘Lodge’ operatives ransack the computer,

knocking over hard drives and taking some. They go through
the Link archives, looting them.

VIEW ON FRANKIE

Frightened. Hides in the shadows of the editing room.

101 INT. LINKED IN TALENT, DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Glenn knocks on the door.

GLENN
May I come in?

LINK
Hey Glenn! Sure.

GLENN
I’d like to introduce you to your
new groomer -- Larry.

LARRY looks like a teddy boy with jet black hair and a
leather jacket.

LINK
Hey man. Nice to meet you.

LATER VIEW

Link looks in the mirror while Larry tends to him alone.

LARRY
I’m trying to understand what life
is all about. Who we are, why are
we on this planet?

LINK
What do you think?

LARRY
I think that there’s some greater
force beyond our understanding,
that we’re given chosen paths from
quite possibly extraterrestrial
life.

(CONTINUED)
 94.
101 CONTINUED:

LINK
You don’t believe in God?

LARRY
Something is out there in all those
vast galaxies. How can we not be
connected to them in some way? You
my friend were given this role. You
weren’t just plucked off the street
by some young woman who rescued
you.

102 EXT. MANNY’S CAR - NIGHT

WIDE Manny approaches his car. He’s horrified when he finds

his German Shepard dead draped over the seat, dripping
blood.

103 INT. FRANKIE’S VEGAS HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Frankie opens the door to her room. Only the light from the
hallway illuminates the room. She grabs her mail from the
floor and opens it while she walks. Ash pours out of a
mysterious envelope.

She turns on the light. Manny is sitting at the little

table, slumped in the chair sipping through a straw,
balancing on his bloated gut a glass of bourbon on the rocks.

MANNY
I need your help, Frankie. They’re
following me.

FRANKIE
Who?

MANNY
They’re going to kill me. I know
it. You have to tell Link. Will
you do me that favor? I’ve done a
lot for you. I’ll never ask for
anything else.

FRANKIE
I don’t know.

MANNY
You don’t know?... Oh, I get it...

Frankie can’t look him in the eye.

(CONTINUED)
 95.
103 CONTINUED:

Manny shamefully walks out the door.

LATER

Frankie goes into the bathroom and notices a doctor’s cup of

urine with Manny’s name on it.

104 INT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW - MONITOR ROOM - DAY

Link steps down from the stage.

CAMERAMAN
Hey Link. I just wanted to thank
you for the signed autograph to my
daughter. It meant so much to her.

LINK
(listens intently)
I’m so glad. Is she feeling
better?

CAMERAMAN
Yes sir.

LINK
(walking away)
Good. Anything you need you let me
know right? Right?

CAMERAMAN
Thank you Link. Truly.

LINK
(screams)
Manny!!

Picks out the BOOM MAN.

LINK (CONT'D)
You, that thing’s in my face one
too many times. You’re fired.

VIEW from the many TV monitors in the live editing room.

Glenn comes over and whispers something into his ear.

LINK (CONT’D)
I’m sick of this BULLSHIT!

CREW turn their heads.

(CONTINUED)
 96.
104 CONTINUED:

LINK (CONT’D)
(to Glenn)
Just kill him in this town, wash
him up so he can’t work anywhere.
I just want this problem out of my
head already!

CLOSE ON GLENN

Glenn nods his head and then walks away.

LINK (CONT’D)
And while you’re at it, tell him I
say that Manny Prinkles knows as
much about the internet as a pig in
church on Sunday!

105 INT. CASINO CUPCAKE SHOP - DAY

Link enters a cupcake shop, Frankie following behind as an

assistant documents Link.

LINK
I’d like one red velvet. Two
pumpkin. That vanilla over there.
Actually make it five red velvet.
Actually I’ll just take all of the
vanilla cupcakes.

SERVER
All?

LINK
Yes, all.

The young woman behind the counter grabs what she can but
Link is moving too fast for her. Ordering all the cupcakes.

SERVER
Sir, I don’t think you can clean
out the inventory like this, you’ll
have to make an order in advance.

LINK
Give it to me.

MANAGER peeks out from behind.

MANAGER
Is there a problem here?

Link opens a briefcase full of money.

(CONTINUED)
 97.
105 CONTINUED:

LINK
There’s 150K cash in here for
everything in the store.

MANAGER
Get all the boxes out.

LINK
I’ll give you another 1K to take
off your pants.

MANAGER
What?

LINK
Wanna do it?

Manager looks around at his co-workers and drops his pants

like “sure, at this point.”

CO-WORKER
Woo!

LINK
(to co-worker)
You want 1K too?

CO-WORKER
OK.

LINK
Alright! Take it off!

Co-worker does a little strip show.

LINK CONT’D)
Damn! 3K for this pretty little
lady takin’ it off right here.

Woman kisses the money.

Link does this with everybody in the store until they are all
stripped down to their skivvies, except his original server
won’t budge.

LINK
Take it off!

SERVER
No.

LINK
I’ll give you 10K.

(CONTINUED)
 98.
105 CONTINUED:

SERVER
No.

CO-WORKER
Are you kidding Lou? It’s just a
shirt. Do it!

SERVER
No.

This goes on.

LINK
Are you married?

SERVER
Yeah.

LINK
How much does your husband make a
year? I’ll give you 80K.

SERVER
No.

Link cleans the store fully out of stock. He checks the

fridge and notices a beautiful giant wedding cake.

LINK
What’s this?

MANAGER
Oh that’s a wedding cake. We can’t
sell that. We’re supposed to
deliver that later this afternoon.

LINK
I don’t care. I want it. Figure it
out.

Link keeps throwing more money at them.

The manager calls the wedding, tells them there’s been an

accident with the truck that was being delivered.

The staff are packing all the cupcakes into many boxes.

SERVER
What are you going to do with all
these?

(CONTINUED)
 99.
105 CONTINUED:

LINK
I don’t know. Let them rot.
Donate them...

Link leaves the cupcake shop completely barren and stripped

except for one lonely cupcake in the window display.

FRANKIE
Link, you ripped off this whole
stunt from Andy Kaufman.

LINK
So? I contain multi-dudes.

FRANKIE
That’s like Walt Whitman.

106 INT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT, VEGAS - NIGHT

Manny sits in a corner booth with Glenn.

MANNY
What time is it?

Manny tilts Glenn’s phone towards him to check his home

screen and time. Obviously annoying Glenn.

GLENN
It’s 8:16.

MANNY
Have you heard from Frankie?

GLENN
No.

MANNY
Frankie is really causing problems.
I gotta tell you. She’s become a
stalker. She’s in love with Link
and isn’t acting professional.
Frankie is really... And this
Kelly, the new bride, Link started
yelling at her in front of everyone
calling her a whore the other day
because she was sleeping with one
of the stunt guys but can you blame
her? He’s so mean to her. Someone
called the tabloids, but I’m
friends with them.
 100.

107 EXT. ITALIAN RESTAURANT - LATER

Glenn puts Manny into a black sedan limo service. Manny is

still gabbing away, obviously out of nervousness.

CUT TO:

108 EXT. DESERT ROAD - NIGHT

WIDE of the black sedan driving at night down a winding road.

Car POV of the headlights sharply turning.

109 INT. BLACK SEDAN - CONTINUOUS

Manny sweating. He looks behind him and notices a vintage

green Jaguar following them.

CUT TO:

110 EXT. DESERT ROAD - CONTINUOUS

The black sedan drives down the lonely road, the dark green
Jaguar trails behind.

111 EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAWN

BIRD’S EYE WIDE the black sedan pulls over to the side of the
road under a single street lamp. The green Jaguar parks
directly behind it.

VIEW

Manny tries to open the door but he’s locked in.

WIDE the hefty limo driver drags Manny out of the car as
Manny cries and pleads for his life.

A tall curly-haired blond wearing flared jeans and hush

puppies comes out of the Jaguar and shoots Manny in the head
three times.

The blonde Jaguar driver and the limo driver than put Manny’s
body back into the limo and load the car with dynamite.

The limo driver and blond get into the Jaguar and drive off.

WIDE the limo explodes in a 4-stick dynamite explosion.

 101.

112 EXT. BEE FARM - DAY

CLOSE on a stray Gucci loafer, found off the highway close to

where a bee farmer tends his bees.

Police investigate the site. A detective picks up a bible

which has a place marked: a strange passage.

DETECTIVE
(reading)
“The valley of vision... crying to
the mountains... gathered together
waters... ditch between two walls
for the water... let us eat and
drink for tomorrow we shall die.”

POLICE
Nah.

CUT TO:

113 INT. ADR STUDIO, BURBANK - DAY

Crunchie sets Link up to do a voice over. Frankie is

completing the job without Josh.

The three BEEPS chime. Link does his voice over. He’s
delayed on the mark.

OPERATOR
OK let’s try that again. You’ll
hear three beeps then you jump in.
Just like how you did it in the
movie.

Three beeps. Link misses.

OPERATOR (CONT’D)
No worries. Let’s try again.

The beeps.

LINK
Everyone pretends to be normal and
be your best friend but underneath
everyone is living some life you
don’t know about. If only we had a
camera on us at all times we could
go and watch each other’s tapes and
find out what we’re really like.

VIEW outside the box, Link struggling in the ADR booth. The
beeps.

(CONTINUED)
 102.
113 CONTINUED:

CLOSE on Link sweating and overwhelmed. The sound of the

beeps are nauseating.

WIDE Link walks out. He passes Frankie and walks straight out
onto the street.

114 EXT. ADR STUDIO - DAY

Link sitting on the curb crying.

Frankie walks out.

CUT TO:

115 INT. BREAKFAST PLACE - BURBANK

Frankie catches up with Josh. She’s sophisticatedly dressed,

more womanly, but looks tired from wear. She’s happy to see
Josh again.

Frankie goes off with text messages from Link.

JOSH
How’s it all going?

FRANKIE
(chain smoking)
Fine. The press are getting
rougher. Feels like their jerking
you off with one hand and slapping
you with another.

JOSH
(smiles)
That doesn’t sound like you.

He nods towards a billboard with Link’s face on it.

FRANKIE
Good... He’s been more paranoid
lately but he’s good. Dependant.

JOSH
I suppose that’s what you like.

FRANKIE
No... I guess... Sometimes I can’t
decide is he an angel or the anti-
christ... How are you?

JOSH
I’m writing a book... about Link.

(CONTINUED)
 103.
115 CONTINUED:

FRANKIE
A tell-all. What happened to the
great things you set out to do?

JOSH
It’s a good time for the mask to
come off.

FRANKIE
You’re no better than everything
you harpoon. You used to be pure...
(she inhales a long shaky
drag)
I suppose you’re going to write
about me too?

JOSH
I’ll spare you, but Link was your
creation, your Frankenstein. Like
the living embodiment of the
internet -- emotionless and
faceless.

FRANKIE
I guess you’re right... Since when
did you become so vindictive?

CLOSE on Josh, bitter.

JOSH
I didn’t mean that. You just could
be so much more than the woman
behind the man. You’re talented.

Frankie checks her phone.

FRANKIE
I should go. Take care of
yourself.

She pays for the bill.

CLOSE on Josh, sorry.

116 INT. TALK SHOW - NIGHT

Link goes on a talk show to promote his show. He’s charming

as always.

LINK
Why does everything popular have to
suck?
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
 104.
116 CONTINUED:
LINK (CONT'D)
That bothers me and I always strive
to change that. I like messing
with perception a bit. Like
sporadic operatic pop visions of
art. Seeing things from different
angles. It’s what my mind is like.
Ideally, I would want to put on
some crazy shows. Something like
miniature golf.

The Host is putting him on.

HOST
That sounds trippy.

LINK
Well obviously within reason.
People have to be able to handle it
of course.

117 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - NIGHT

Frankie in her apartment alone wearing her eyeglasses and

writing on her computer while she eats and watches Link’s
talk show performance.

VIEW ON THE TV:

LINK
All artists copy but the great ones
steal.

HOST
Did you steal?

LINK
No, people steal from me!

CLOSE Frankie looks up.

118 INT. LINK’S MALIBU APT. - NIGHT

Link comes home to his wife Kelly eating a strawberry ice

cream sandwich with a blogger kid who’s photographing her.
She’s had a nose-job, bandages still on. Preparing a sex
tape.

Glenn sits in a chair watching like a pervert.

LINK
Get out!

(CONTINUED)
 105.
118 CONTINUED:

KELLY
Link, he wasn’t doin’ nothing! I’m
just lonely in this house all the
time.

LINK
All you want is the paparazzi to
take your picture.

The blogger kid snaps a picture. Link snatches his camera

and breaks it on the ground.

LINK (CONT’D)
Who’s this kid?

KELLY
He has a really cool blog. I’m
modelling some clothes for him.

LINK
Get out! The both of you!

Link turns to Glenn.

LINK (CONT’D)
What was this about?

GLENN
You’d better be nice, Link. His
blog is pretty influential. This
video could go viral. You need a
pretty young bride by your side or
do prefer your hairdresser? All
those therapy sessions in the
trailer...

LINK
You’re fired.

GLENN
Manny owed us quite a bit of money
after that “rope-a-dope” account.
You’re going to make that up to me.
You’re going to keep doing your
show and keep making movies. You’re
in bed with ‘us’ now!

119 INT. FRANKIE’S APT. - NIGHT

Link knocks on the door and barges in, stripping off his
clothes.

(CONTINUED)
 106.
119 CONTINUED:

LINK
Kelly and I are getting a divorce.
Things are a little complicated
right now, so we have to be
secretive. Did you see the show
tonight? It went great I thought.
It’s amazing. I have more
followers than the president! I’m
more influential than the
president! Think about what we
could do with that. We could take
over the world if we wanted.

Frankie appalled sneaks out of the house.

120 INT. LINKED IN TALENT STAGE, VEGAS - DAY

The stage is becoming more shrine-like, now with stencil-

drawn flags with Link’s face decorated like a pharaoh. Before
Link goes on the young Bieber prodigy contestant comes over.

BIEBER PRODIGY
Hey man, I just wanna wish you good
luck. You’re gonna need it.

The young Bieber prodigy comes on the stage. Singing and

dancing. They project a video of the young kid singing on the
street for money so he can go to school.

The audience cheer and applaud but Link becomes jealous that
the attention is shifting away from him.

Link does a contest trying to one-up the Bieber prodigy. Link

gets so angry he starts stripping young Bieber and throwing
him up in the air.

LINK
OK everyone, so as you know this
show is based on your votes but
today I’m going to change the rules
because you made a mistake, Bieber.
You’re not ready for this grant
quite yet. Apply next year on the
show. Maybe things will work out
for you.

The little Bieber prodigy is shocked and about to cry. The

audience boos. Offstage the crew is stunned and not sure
what just happened. The monitor room cuts to commercials.

(CONTINUED)
 107.
120 CONTINUED:

PA
(to Link)
You know you can’t do that. The
show is based on the people’s
votes.

LINK
(rant)
The show is based on the people’s
votes?! The people don’t know what
they want! I am what they want!

NEW VIEW

Frankie in the monitor room looks out at him ranting, firing

people etc. She leans over and presses the intercom button
to the stage manager --

FRANKIE
Remind Link he’s going out live.

In the studio, the stage mgr. nods and signals to the ranting
Link, warning him this is a live feed.

121 INT. CONTROL ROOM - DAY

Frankie sits up, listening.

STAGE MGR.
He lost it. Should we cut him off?

Frankie reaches for the button that would cut him off -- then
hesitates.

FRANKIE
(into the intercom)
Let him hang himself.

She looks up to the monitors, folds her arms.

LINK
They’re all idiots. Fat people
sitting on couches in Iowa munching
of Doritos. Horny computer nerds
hunched over computers... Homeless
believing they have a chance to go
viral.. I make money off them. I
suck their blood...

VIEW IN CONTROL ROOM

Forty monitors, all with Link’s rant on them.

(CONTINUED)
 108.
121 CONTINUED:

LINK (CONT’D)
I’m not going to let some pubescent
turd get in my way, he’s acting
like a little bitch... I AM A GOD.

The crowd, shocked, record on their smart phones and send out
to the internet.

122 INT. MONITOR ROOM - LATER

Josh with Frankie who is distraught. Josh helps her up.

JOSH
Frankie. I can’t believe you didn’t
protect him from himself.

Frankie cries in his arms.

JOSH (CONT’D)
I wanted to do it -- you wanted to
do it. In the end he did it to
himself.

123 EXT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW, VEGAS - DAY

Link exits and his fans riot against him. It’s like the
storming of Bastille. Link’s #1 fan comes over and spits in
Link’s face.

News anchors are there capturing the footage.

NEWS FOOTAGE of teenagers crying and upset over what Link did
to the Bieber prodigy.

TEENAGER
(crying)
I always loved Link. He was such
an inspiration and I thought he was
so...

TEENAGER 2
Caring. He just seemed like a
really good guy but now we know
he’s just rotten!

NEWS ANCHOR
Do you think you could ever forgive
him?

(CONTINUED)
 109.
123 CONTINUED:

TEENAGER 1
No! I’m never ever going to watch
him again. We hate him!

124 INT. LINKED IN TALENT SHOW, STAGE AND OFFICE - LATER

The ramshackle office. The scene is quiet and still.

INSERT: A telephone not ringing.

125 EXT. L.A. STREET - DUSK

Posters of Link’s face all over Los Angeles, graffitied and

mocked.

126 INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT

TRACKING cute girls in tight uniforms carry sparklers in

champagne bottles and deliver to Link, who is inebriated,
hyper, and talking way too loud.

LINK
(gets in close)
What’s this?

WAITRESS
(shoves him)
For you.

LINK
Whaaa???!

WAITRESS
For you. You ordered it.

LINK
What?

WAITRESS
You ordered it!

LINK
For me?

WAITRESS
Yes!

LINK
AHHHH. Who wants some? What song
is this? I dig it!

(CONTINUED)
 110.
126 CONTINUED:

Link bobs his head like a lizard.

CLOSE LINK on a dolly through the crowd of partying people.

Link looks dizzy, like he might throw up.

Link attempts to dance and hugs and holds onto girls but he’s
too sloppy. He talks loud in their ear.

LINK (CONT’D)
Where’s the bathroom?

They laugh at him.

LINK (CONT’D)
Wanna come to the bathroom with me?

One girl shakes her head “no.”

LINK (CONT’D)
(grabs her hand to caress
it)
C’mon! Pleasse...

GIRL
I’m spoken for.

LINK
So?

GIRL
No.

Link stumbles his way through to the bathroom with two older
girls in tow.

127 INT. BATHROOM STALL - CONTINUOUS

Link scrambles and cuts in the line of the bathroom stall and
pushes the women he’s been dragging into the stall.

VIEW

In the stall Link sloppily kisses and licks the girls. He

takes off his pants but he can’t get it up. Link struggles.

128 INT. LINK’S MALIBU APT. - NIGHT

Link sits alone in an empty white room in his dark suit,

singing along to a projected Rhianna karaoke song while a
little Japanese intern films him.

(CONTINUED)
 111.
128 CONTINUED:

SOUND of Frankie’s heels becoming closer.

CLOSE VIEW - Frankie’s shoes.

LINK
Frankie! Francesca! I’m making a
new video. I think it will be
great! You and me, we can come back
on top again. Just like we did it
the first time. A team. Next time
I’ll listen to you --

CLOSE ON FRANKIE - stares at him intensely.

LINK (CONT'D)
Frankie?

FRANKIE
I’m glad they turned on you.

LINK
Why would you?

FRANKIE
Because I want you to go back where
you came from. I never want to see
you again! I’m telling you this so
you’ll leave me alone for good.
You bum!

Frankie turns and never looks back. Link pleads and begs for
her not to go, that he’s willing to forgive her.

129 EXT. LINK’S MALIBU APART. - NIGHT

EXTREME WIDE Josh is waiting in the car for Frankie. They can
still hear Link’s cries in the distance. It is haunting.
Frankie turns to look at Josh and thinks.

130 EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. - NIGHT

It starts raining and some of the construction workers’ light

bulbs blow out. The workers finally use cranes to lift the
rock out of the street but Hollywood Blvd. is left with an
empty hole.

DISSOLVE TO:
 112.

131 EXT. 7-11 MART - DAY

WIDE LINK WALKING ALONG A DESOLATE BOULEVARD.

Link begs some frat boys for money so he can buy a drink.
They recognize him and offer to give him money if they can
film him fighting another bum.

Link refuses.

132 INT. DINER - DAY

Link sits in the back office meeting with the manager for a
job.

MANAGER
We only have space for a dummy in
our ventriloquist act.

LINK
A dummy?

MANAGER
It’s all I got, you want the job?

LINK
I was made for it.

133 INT. DINER - DAY

A VENTRILOQUIST dresses Link in a poncho, sombrero, and

places on his face a scary grinning mask that only covers
Link’s mouth so it looks like he has giant lips and stubble.

FRANKIE (V.O.)
When I started thinking about
‘happiness,’ everything seemed to
be telling me that the point of
living is to get as much as you
can, experience as much pleasure as
you can, and that the implicit
promise is that that will make you
happy.
(pause)
But as my story ends, I realize
that what makes you happy is very
personal, and may not be what you
think, and anyway, you have to
learn it on your own.

(CONTINUED)
 113.
133 CONTINUED:

VENTRILOQUIST
Hit it!

Cuban Pete by Desi Arnaz starts to play. The ventriloquist

dances around Link while he reluctantly jives in place with
his maracas.

VENTRILOQUIST (CONT'D)
(sings)
They raved about Sloppy Joe.
The Latin labarrio
But Havana has a new sensation
He’s really a modest guy
Although he’s the hottest guy in
Havana
And here’s what he has to say --

The ventriloquist pulls the strings to Link’s mask to open

and close his mouth.

VENTRILOQUIST (CONT’D)
(as Cuban Pete/Link)
They call me Cuban Pete
I’m king of the rhumba beat
When I play the maracas I go chick
chicky boom, chick chicky boom!

FADE TO BLACK:

THE END