ACTION THEATRE CLUB

THE SEANCE

All characters are on stage arguing.

LAURA: Ok enough. Don’t you think we should explain to our guests (gestures to the audience) ,
what is going on?

They all look at the audience and wave

CHLOE: Hi, I’m CHLOE

LAURA: And I’m LAURA

CHLOE: And we’re in the middle of a crisis!

LAURA: You are so dramatic.

GRANMDA: Completely over the top

CHLOE: (to the audience) It’s true, but I can’t help it.

Everyone starts discussing CHLOE’s behaviour and shouting over the top of each other.

LAURA; Ok! Enough! Maybe we should just go back to the beginning and tell everyone what
happened.

CHLOE: Good plan. Rewind

A rewind sound effect plays. Everyone moves backwards, rewinding the action.

CHLOE : And play.

It is just CHLOE and LAURA on stage. The rest are behind their chairs, where they narrate from.

ELVIS: So it all started when these two were doing their home work and CHLOE said to LAURA

CHLOE: oh did you do the research on Henry VIII?

FREDDIE: And she said

LAURA: Ahh, about that….

HENRY: Then CHLOE had an idea

CHLOE: The internet is down so we’ll have to go to the library

HENRY: But LAURA had a “better” idea

LAURA: Let’s talk to Henry himself! Yes, we can summon him by doing A SEANCE

MARILYN: terrible idea

FREDDIE: But somehow CHLOE was convinced and so …

GRANDMA: They dimmed the lights

FREDDIE: Lit some candles

ELVIS: And used all of their might to summon Henry VIII to their homework session

HENRY: And it worked. I heard them calling and I appeared. The only problem was, I wasn’t alone.

LAURA: Omg, the place is full of dead people… and I think I summoned them all…. Is that Marilyn
Monroe?

MARILYN: Do be do do

Chloe: Who are the others?

FREDDIE: Please (sings) I want to break free.

LAURA: Freddie?

ELVIS: a hu hu

LAURA: Elvis

GRANDMA: I’ll have a lovely cuppa Rosie lee please.

CHLOE: Sorry, who are you?

GRANDMA: Grandma Phillis, I may not be famous for singing, but everyone knew about my apple
crumble. Best in Yorkshire.

CHLOE: Ok, what are you all doing here?

HENRY: No idea. I heard my name being called and I just presumed I was getting married again
and it was time to go to the church.

MARILYN: Oh I came because I thought the paparazzi were calling my name. Do you want to take
my photo?

ELVIS: We’re just here for the rock and roll

FREDDIE: Anyone got a guitar?

GRANDMA: Anyone got a bra? Buy your own you cheapskate.

FREDDIE: I said guitar!

GRANMDA: You need to speak a bit clearer dearie, nobody can understand you. Kids these days.

CHLOE: (to the audience) We explained to the dead ones, what had happened.

LAURA: And we also asked that they kindly leave before my parents found them and killed me.
You see I have no idea how I’d explain why FREDDIE MURCURY had popped round for tea.

GRANDMA: you know, I remember something like this happening to me when I was a little girl
years old… it all started when….(she stops talking and closes her eyes)

CHLOE: Granmda Phillis? Is she …is she dead?

HENRY: Of course she is. We all are.

ELVIS: Grandma? Grandma? Grandma?

GRANDMA: (shouting) Ahhh! What are you doing? Get off of me.

CHLOE:Shh, my Mum will here.

LAURA:I think you should all leave now.

MARYLIN: Leave? But we’ve only just got here, i want to find an agent and shoot a movie.

FREDDIE: I wanna go find somewhere else because (singing) I Want to ride my bicycle, I want to
ride my bike

HENRY: I’m happy to stay here. The real world is safer than the dead world, so many less angry
ex wives. Back there they’re all like “oh why did you behead me?”, especially Ann Boleyn, she’s a
right pain in the neck.

ELVIS: Being dead ain’t very rock and roll, it’s like being in a jailhouse rock.

GRANDMA: You want to wear a frock? Well I’ve got lots that you can borrow dearie.

CHLOE: (to the audience) as you can see this was a serious situation. Theres lots of advice about
how to summon ghosts and spirits, but not many to get them to go away!

LAURA (to the audience) We took some time convince them that this really wasn’t the place for
them….. we explained that things had changed, reality tv stars were the new Hollywood style
idols, there was no woman in the world who would be interested in marrying Henry.

HENRY: But I’m so handsome….

LAURA: And then the final straw was when we played Elvis and Freddie some modern music.(to
the dead people) So guys, this was a huge hit.

BABY SHARK PLAYS

They all cover their ears.

CHLOE: Eventually they told us…

ALL:(shouting in I’m a celeb style) I’m a ghost, get me out of here…

LAURA: But how?

CHLOE: That’s when we tried a number of ways….

LAURA: This bit took a while…lets do it in fast forward..

BENNY HILL MUSIC PLAYS AS THEY GO THROUGH SOME QUICK SEQUENCES SHOWING
HOW THEY TRIED TO GET RID OF THE GHOSTS…ALL IN FAST FORWARD

SCENE 1 - One person brings in a big jar of SAGE. She throws it over them all. They all look
around to see if they have been transported back - instead someone sneezes and they all get
covered in snot.

SCENE 2- The bring out a book of SPELLS - CHLOE tries to read it and place a spell on them - it
doesn’t work, instead the wand breaks.

SCENE 3 - They then al get a candle. They wave them around……Elvis burns himself…

SCENE 4 - A GIANT JAR OF SALT… They start to pour it over each other….Freddie turns up with
some chips and starts to mop the salt up with the chips and eat it.

LAURA - Eventually we decided

ELVIS - It was useless.

MARILYN - We’re stuck here forever.

GRANDMA - Stuck in with Heather? Which one of you is Heather?

HENRY - Look, I have had enough of this. I am the King. If I say I want to go home then I will just
go home. I DEMAND IT.

They all look around. It hasn’t worked.

CHLOE: Wait, the internet is working again. It says the way to get rid of ghosts is to ask them
what they want.

LAURA: So, what do you want? What do you miss from the real world?

HENRY: Well, if I have to be honest its got to be…… roast chicken. Nothing quite like a big roast
dinner.

MARILYN: I miss bubble baths. Luxury ones.

ELVIS: Flowers.

FREDDIE: Music.

GRANDMA: Jack.

ALL: Huh

GRANDMA: You asked who we most kissed? Well I kissed Jack. Don’t look at me like that, he
was my husband.

LAURA: Maybe if we get you those things, you can leave?

CHLOE: Worth a go?

LAURA: And so thats what we did.

FREDDIE’; This may need to be a fast forward again.

MONTAGE 2

They give each person what they need -freeze frame sequence.(roast dinner, bubble baths,
smelling flowers, playing instruments and then poster of Jack for Grandma to kiss)

ELVIS: So, now what?

MARILYN: We’re still here.

FREDDIE; Your plan didn’t work.

HENRY: This chicken is good.

LAURA: I’m going to be in so much trouble if my Mum catches you guys here.

ELVIS: Dont’ blame us. You’re the ones that summoned us in the first place.

MARILYN: Why did you call us?

CHLOE: We just wanted some help with our homework.

LAURA: It’s about Henry VIII.

HENRY: Well, I can help with that.

ELVIS: What do you want to know?

FREDDIE: And so we all sat around whist Henry told the story of his life. It was rather elaborate,
and rather awful really, but still, it was the truth and more informative than any book could ever be.

LAURA: That’s it. Homework done.

CHLOE: Whats that noise? Oh no, it’s your Mum.

LAURA; Quick everyone hide!

CHLOE: wait, where are they all?

LAURA: Hello? Hello? They’ve gone.

CHLOE: That must be the trick. They didn’t disappear when we granted THEIR wish, they
disappeared when they granted OUR wish.

LAURA: Ahhhhhh. I see.

CHLOE: Thank goodness for that. We can finally relax.

LAURA: What was that noise? Sounded like the toilet flushing.

GRANDMA: Sorry dears, I was in the loo. Where’s everyone gone?

CHLOE AND LAURA: Oh no.

The end.