18 Years On Earth

Have you ever seen a complicated boy with an angry eyes , yea that’s me. From the beginning of the
life I live and the life I had I have a 60% of sadness and the rest is pain and happiness. As a middle
child and the 2 of 3 person inna family I got my own view about how the life works. Sometimes we
sad , sometimes we laugh, we cry too sometimes and mad often , so far is , I only feel rage. I have
something to tell from my deepest heart, sometimes I feel like im inna dream and wake up from this
life being my go to. First of all, life sucks , if I need to choose I will never comeback to live longer , I
feel like there is no answer to my prayers. So let me tell about myself first, I born in December 15 on
December , as the weather go in December it will rain like asean climate , in another side of this
world is snowing. But the same things between the snow and the rain is they go down just like the
gravity falls. Same things as me, I never felt happy or outstanding experience, I ever get hit 1 day
before my birthday when I 12 , maybe like ten times on head just because of my little fault. In my
own opinion our life and our soul were priceless, but I often near lose them to be honest. My friend
said you just having a bad day not a bad life. About how this day go and throwback to another day or
maybe talk about how my life go is I never enjoy my life. Even my last holiday , my dad never bring us
for a vacation because he said to me also when vacation or holiday go there is always rage between
my parents, so Im so dizzy, I need that one. I’ve been betrayed by my gf and now my ex is and feel so
sucks but yea im still here now. My mind is heading home sometimes too see my lovely dog. Believe
or not she was my best part of my life. Her name is celly and I call her ek , a dogo Argentinos dog and
still my dawg, even the sky falls I will never forget this sweet thing, she always hear about my life in
the middle of night cause I don’t have someone to talk. About my mom , I often get mad too and to
my dad also. I keep talking to them just to giving a life update. I do my job alone but it will so lie if I
say Im not lonely. I have a lot of things that I can’t tell them, its clearly because I don’t want too talk
too much, I want a same thing too just to be unbothered. A cup of coffee and milk help me somehow
survive this shit. I get into fight sometimes that I learn by myself, I taste a real pain and blood but no
one know. Home alone is my lovely thing because I doing my job without a pressure. I never tell
them about how my fuckin life goes because I don’t need too. They often call me crazy then but yea I
don’t know how they saying behind my back. This 2023 is very very very sucks to me, like what im
fuckin doing so bad so they give me the worst one. I become a rude person but mature if needed.
And about what I working for my self like selling a nicotine product is all about buy a CBR but ya I
don’t need it anymore. 3 years of highschool is worst, but I learned about how bad the people do,
how fake a humans is, and still not seeing the best part from my life. What is this life about, I need
my own self to tell me. I clean my parents house but ya they so dirty , they mess , and annoying too,
but ya its my felt for not being a person they need. Sometimes I aiming my head for a to the sky and
heaven to stop my life this 18 or 19. Am I the worst child they ever had? They did me like a
housemaid , I clean house they mess , serve them a tea or coffee , open the door and the gate for
them, picking they things. LIKE THEY CAN DO IT BY THEMSELVES WHY ALWAYS ME. My friend not live
a life like me, I can tell them about this to them so I just can typing and crying without they know,
may god bless papi, mami, inggrid, sasa, ek. And let me live my life first , but im still they housemaid.
And for now, I want something to hit or throwing rocks to the sea shore, life goes on.