LASTING EFFECTS THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HAS ON CHILDREN

APRIL 2023
Samantha Bell

When you hear “domestic violence,” your first thought most likely thinks of the two in an
intimate relationship. But what about those who are witnesses?

By definition, domestic violence is violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically
involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. This definition only includes those who are in
the fire, the ones who are fighting and are being directly hurt with intention. What many forget
and what some dismiss is that this definition excludes the witnesses of the fire and the hurt; this
excludes the byproduct that has come from this broken relationship.

The U.S. Department of Justice states that “almost 1 in 10 American children [have seen] one
family member assault another family member, and more than 25 percent [have] been exposed
to family violence”.

Most, if not all, of these children, have zero to no control over their situation; looking at their
circumstances in comparison to facts that increase children's exposure to violence, the pieces
begin to come together in a way that only statistics and research can explain.

The effects that witnessing domestic violence has on children is a lifelong battle – but not every
situation is the same and it truly varies from person to person.

“Growing up, I was constantly afraid,” a witness of domestic violence abuse, who has asked to
remain anonymous, said. “I hated watching [their parents] fight, but I decided to turn my anger
and fear around and dedicate my life to finding a relationship that was the exact opposite of my
parents.”

The anonymous source, whom we will refer to as Riley, grew up in a violent household. During
our conversation, Riley shared with me that their teen years were hard as she struggled with
mental health and learning difficulties.

Blake Griffin Edwards LMFT wrote an article for Psychology Today titled “Alarming Effects of
Children’s Exposure to Domestic Violence.” Within this article, Edwards displays many different
effects that children are exposed to DV experience. After showing this article to Riley, they were
quickly able to identify different effects that they still experience to this day.

“Since I was little, I remember feeling as if I had absolutely no self-worth, I was always so
angry,” Riley said.

Another anonymous source, who will be referred to as Shay, also grew up in a violent home.
Except, different from Riley, Shay entered multiple abusive relationships and was unable to
identify the core issue that kept leading them to this place.

Olive Harrison, a student at the University of Loyola at Chicago and writer of “The Long-Term
Effects of Domestic Violence on Children,” Harrison stated in her article that there is a “strong
likelihood that this pattern of abuse will become a continuing cycle of violence for the next
generation.”

Female children who grew up in a violent home are “six times more likely” to enter an abusive
relationship than those who did not, Harrison wrote.

“The cycle has to stop,” Shay said. “I finally realized that I was comfortable within that space, we
have to realize it is wrong — love should NEVER hurt.”