Personal Achievement Reflection

An important achievement I have accomplished is art. More specifically, the feeling of

achievement and pride I feel in the pieces I produce now. I have found success in persevering
with art through burnout and slumps beginning around 2020 until now. Although I have been
taking things more seriously recently, it is something I have time and time come back to partake
in and enjoy. Recently, I have begun to realize how far I have come and how insignificantly
smooth the process felt. I have also realized through listening to experienced artists, that this
process never changes. This feeling of accomplishment hit after I recently looked back on the
four pieces I had done. Three were fan art of characters I had enjoyed in the media I had
consumed. One was a lighting and rendering study of a film still from a film named, “Everything
Everywhere All at Once.” The reflection was also aided by the fact that I had not deleted any old
pieces from my art account on Instagram. This allowed me to scroll down and realize the
insignificance of “being bad at something” when starting a new passion or hobby. An entropic
improvement curve that does not present with a linear graph. Nor does it guarantee success with
every step taken in the x-axis. I have learnt that commitment is not flashy nor is it concrete.
Commitment is the silent rebellion against the fear of failure; however, it is also patience.
Change is not paced evenly, nor is it predictable. The key to expressing commitment is through
embracing the maniacal nature of change. This is the process of learning I realized recently after
thinking of the obstacles I have faced throughout my journey until now. I am not the best artist
and I also realize that I may never be the best or the most focused. But another element I learned
is that belief predates any form of success. By believing in the intangible and unpredictable
concept named success, and by seeing myself as an artist who is capable of more, I find myself
able to constantly return to the desk with my reference board ready. This journey has been highly
relevant and important to me, as it is one of the many passions that I have held onto. I had
allowed me to peak into the future and realize what I enjoy, as much as it can be a slog to
illustrate, knowing that failure is eventually guaranteed. Burnout is something I had found
myself in, and it was due to own expectations that I had placed upon myself. By approaching art
as if it were something that was to be graded, I found myself deeper in misery when the lack of
knowledge held me back. Additionally, by looking at the entire mountain I had to scale, I found
myself overwhelmed with doubt. It was either quit or learn to take it slow. Instead of gazing at
the mountain in awe, I realized the importance of looking at the next foothold. Another discovery
I made is the conditions in which I work the best. Darkroom, a single lamp on, music, and a quiet
ambiance. I found myself far more productive in the dark and away from distractions. I had also
fully realized the amount of joy I had found in creation. A tangible piece that I can look back on
that physically reflects the efforts and obstacles I faced during the process of creation. Through
this passion, I realized the the full extent to which I enjoy learning. The process of struggles and
epiphanies that reach for greater heights than the previous set. I found a hunger I had not
previously fully realized within myself. To extrapolate this toward the future, I would say that I
will still enjoy art whether it stay a hobby, or it become a career. I would like to find a job in
illustration or character concept art; however, I also realize that money plays a significant
equation in careers. So, I would take the lessons I learnt and would be able to apply it into
something new. The value of commitment, conditions for focus, nature of improvement and
leaning, and the importance of patience are all key concepts that I can apply in any career of
faucet of life. An area of improvement for me would be further commitment. Being able to
control the time I spend and being more aware of the priorities in both my journey and life are
still things I struggle with and aim to improve from here on out.