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All Bi-Themselves: An Examination of Bisexual-Specific Struggles

Bisexuality is one of the most common sexual minorities, with approximately 3.5% of

American females and 1.1% of American males self-identifying as bisexual (Chandra et al., 2011

qtd. in Crooks et al., 2021). Yet, despite being a more prominent identity, bisexual individuals

are often the victims of scrutiny. Bisexual individuals fall victims to prejudices regarding their

sexuality, such as the belief that they are more sexually promiscuous, less loyal to their partners,

or are lying about their sexual orientation (Ross et al., 2018). In turn, bisexual individuals feel

shame about their identity. Bisexual-identifying individuals may feel as though they are not

“queer” enough to be members of the LGBTQ+ community (Flanders et al., 2017). Either by

coming out or not coming out, bisexual individuals feel as though their identity is invalid. As a

result, bisexual individuals have poorer mental health than their monosexual counterparts,

including both heterosexual and homosexual individuals. Bisexual individuals are far more likely

to struggle with anxiety and depression (Ross et al., 2018) as well as have increased risks for

substance abuse (Dodge et al., 2016). However, bisexual individuals who either directly or

indirectly identify themselves as bisexual are far more likely to feel validated in their identity,

feel as though they belong to the LGBTQ+ community, and experience better mental health

(Davilla et al., 2019). Bisexual individuals most often cite the need for open and honest

conversation regarding who they are as the reason they came out (Berghaus, 2021). Bisexuality

is a unique identity from its counterpart of monosexual identities; therefore, those who identify

as such are subject to unique difficulties and challenges.

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Review

Bisexuality and Biphobia

Bisexual individuals comprise 40% of the LGBTQ+ community yet face extreme

prejudices regarding their sexuality from monosexual individuals, including the homosexual

community (Brown, 2017 qtd. in Crooks et al., 2021). False beliefs regarding bisexuality play a

large role in the ostracization of bisexual individuals. Ross et al. found and identified three

categories of bisexual discrimination in their narrative review: sexual orientation-based

discrimination, bisexual invisibility and erasure, and lack of bisexual-affirmative support (2018).

Sexual orientation-based discrimination includes generalized homophobia toward any and every

identity within the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Bisexual invisibility and erasure, however, are specific to

bisexual individuals exclusively.

Monosexuals, both straight and gay, may hold the belief that bisexual identities are

steppingstones toward homosexuality. The common phrase, “Bi now, gay later,” a play on a

frequent advertising slogan, is often said in reference to bisexual individuals, particularly

bisexual men (Dodge et al., 2016). Yost & Thomas found in 2012 that bisexual men are assumed

more often to be “really gay,” whereas bisexual women were assumed to be “really straight”

(qtd. in Crooks et al., 2021). Whether male or female, bisexual identities are erased and

frequently invalidated by others.

Bisexual individuals also lack affirmative support for their identities. Flanders et al.

found in their qualitative study with bisexual participants that they felt as though they had to

frequently engage in sexual intercourse with different partners who varied in gender identity so

that they could “prove” their bisexuality to monosexual individuals (Flanders et al., 2017).
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Bisexual individuals may also find a lack of support for their identities as a result of poor

conceptions of bisexual loyalty and the idea that bisexuals are sexually deviant (Ross et al.,

2018). A national study conducted by Dodge et al. found that Americans believed bisexual

individuals are at an increased risk for contracting sexually transmitted infections (2018). This

belief comes as a result of Ross’ identified prejudice that bisexual individuals engage more

frequently and less safely in sexual encounters than their monosexual counterparts (Ross et al.,

2018). Consequently, Dodge et al. discovered that Americans identified bisexual individuals as a

bridge population for sexually transmitted infections, particularly HIV/AIDS, because they

engage in sexual encounters with members of both sexes. This leads to bisexual individuals not

disclosing their identity to healthcare providers as they fear discrimination in a healthcare setting

(Dodge et al., 2016). As a result of homophobia, lack of identity validation, and a lack of support

for bisexual identities, bisexual individuals may not disclose their identities in general.

However, attitudes toward bisexual individuals seem to be shifting. Dodge et al. found

that one-third of their participants indicated neutral feelings toward bisexual individuals.

Although Dodge and colleagues agree that neutrality still allows biases to operate, a shift from

negative to neutral may be indicative of a potential change toward positivity in the future.

Further, the shift toward positivity is growing evident as participants under the age of 25 were

more likely to indicate positive feelings toward bisexual identities (Dodge et al., 2016). Positive

attitudes toward bisexual individuals remain essential as biphobia has real, lasting impacts on

bisexual individuals.

Effects of Biphobia
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Biphobia, or prejudice directed at bisexual individuals, has tangible effects on bisexual-

identifying people. Multiple studies have concluded that bisexual individuals have poorer mental

health than any individuals with a monosexual orientation, whether straight, gay, or lesbian.

Bisexual individuals face health disparities which researchers believe are the result of

discrimination and negative attitudes (Dodge et al., 2016). However, the biggest health disparity

lies in mental health. Compared to heterosexual and homosexual individuals, bisexual

individuals have the worst mental health outcomes and are also at a higher risk for substance

abuse and addiction. Particularly, bisexual individuals struggle with depression and anxiety more

than the monosexual population (Ross et al., 2018). Researchers have identified that generalized

homophobia, biphobia, and a lack of affirmative support are at least in part to blame for such

poor outcomes.

Flanders et al.’s qualitative study interviewed bisexual individuals to discuss their

struggles as bisexual-identifying people and discovered that each individual struggled with their

bisexual identity as a direct result of biphobia (2017). Areas of struggle that resulted in poor

mental health included navigating relationships, sexual encounters, and maintaining their

identity. Many participants indicated that they struggled to remain in monogamous relationships,

particularly relationships with the other sex. One participant explained that if they are not in a

monogamous relationship, they are reinforcing the stereotype that bisexual individuals are

hypersexual. However, if they are in a relationship, they feel as though others perceive them to

be monosexual based on the gender presentation of their partner (Flanders et al., 2017). In

another participant’s words, “[...] you’re pretty much damned if you do and damned if you

don’t” (Flanders et al., 2017).

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Bisexuals in Flanders et al.’s study also indicated that they experienced poor mental

health as a result of their inability to navigate sexual relationships. To “prove’ their identity,

many felt pressured to have frequent sexual encounters with both sexes which not only

contributed to their struggle with monogamy but also their sexual health. Having multiple sexual

partners across the gender spectrum at once led to some participants feeling as though they could

not maintain a healthy relationship and also led them to practice unsafe sexual health practices,

all so they could ‘prove’ their sexuality to others. On the opposite end of the spectrum, other

bisexual individuals indicated they struggled in sexual relationships with the same sex because

they felt as though they were not “queer enough” to navigate a same-sex relationship (Flanders et

al., 2017). Bisexual individuals have difficulty navigating both romantic and sexual relationships

as a result of the prejudices and subsequent pressures that come with being bisexual. In both

scenarios, bisexual individuals feel the need to prove their identities to others. Yet, another

source of anxiety and depression for bisexual individuals is the pressure to come out as non-

heterosexuals.

Coming Out as Bisexual

Coming out, for any non-heterosexual, can be difficult. Anyone who is non-heterosexual

is subject to homophobia, discrimination, and prejudices as a result of being out. However, due

to the nature of biphobia, bisexual individuals are less likely to come out as bisexual. Bisexuals

indicate they fear both stigma and discrimination as a result of being bisexual (Craney et al.,

2018; Feinstein & Dyar, 2017 qtd. in Crooks et al., 2021). In fact, only 27% of bisexual

individuals care that others know their sexual orientation, a staggeringly low comparison to

homosexual individuals, of which 70% indicate it is important that those close to them know

their sexual orientation (Pew Research, 2013 qtd. in Crooks et al., 2021). The likelihood of
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bisexual individuals coming out as bisexual also varies depending on their gender identity and

the gender identity of their partner.

Berghaus’ 2021 study found that relationship status and gender identity, as well as a cost-

benefit analysis of stigmatization versus being oneself, played a large role in whether or not

bisexual individuals would be willing to come out to others, particularly their children. Berghaus

found that 57% of lesbians, 65% of gay men, and 62% of bisexual women in same-gender

relationships had come out to their kids, compared to only 40% of bisexual men in general and

40% of bisexual women in other-gender relationships (2021). This indicates that bisexual men

are less likely to come out than bisexual women whereas bisexual women in same-sex

relationships were the most likely to come out to their children. Lesbian and gay individuals

ranked their likelihood of coming out lower because their partners’ gender identity often led to

the assumption of their sexual orientation, removing the need to “come out.” However, bisexual

individuals also ranked their likelihood of coming out as low. This may be due to the privilege of

being seen as monosexual. Monosexuals face no bisexual-specific prejudice and having a long-

term, monogamous co-parenting partner removes the need to have experiences with other

individuals. Further, bisexuals in other-gender relationships do not face generalized homophobia,

perhaps making it easier to not disclose their sexual orientation as opposed to coming out.

Coming out requires self-acknowledgment, self-acceptance, and disclosure, and is an

important process for non-heterosexuals (Crooks et al., 2021). Single bisexual individuals,

however, may feel pressured to come out, resulting in poor mental health (Flanders et al., 2017).

Bisexuals straddle a line between being themselves, facing homophobia, and facing biphobia

from within the LGBTQ+ community. Although they can “pass” as straight, they may feel as

though they are not being themselves, resulting in pressure to come out as bisexual. Bisexual
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women more than bisexual men desire for their sexual identity to be affirmed and supported

(Hayfield et al., 2013, qtd. in Davilla et al., 2019) A delicate balance between wanting to come

out while not being subjected to biphobia alters the coming-out process for bisexual individuals.

While bisexual individuals are less likely to come out, they may do so nonchalantly or

indirectly. Davilla et al.’s 2019 study surveyed bisexual individuals to identify how they come

out to others. While only 58% of the individuals surveyed identified themselves to others as

bisexual, those who did were most likely to do so by directly communicating their identity to

others. Yet, interestingly, the second most frequently indicated way of coming out included

sharing LGBTQ+ information on their social media (Davilla et al, 2019). By sharing LGBTQ+

media, bisexual individuals both satisfy their need to come out to others while simultaneously

being indirect enough to circumvent discrimination as others may assume they are just an ally to

the community. Certainly, there are both pros and cons to this method as Flanders et al.’s 2017

study concluded that bisexual individuals felt as though they were not queer enough to be

included in the community, but it is a unique aspect of being a bisexual individual. Bisexual

individuals also provide different reasons for wanting to come out.

Berghaus’ 2021 study asked participants to explain why they would want to come out to

their children and they usually provided one or more of six reasons: to educate their children on

diversity, to encourage their children to be LGBTQ+ allies, to combat bisexual erasure, to

promote open and honest communication with their children, to convey solidarity to their

children who might also be bisexual or queer, and for necessary logistical reasons (Berghaus,

2021). While other homosexual individuals may want to also educate their children on diversity,

raise them to be allies, or for logistical reasons, it is interesting to see that bisexual parents

specifically wished to combat bisexual erasure and support their children who may also identify
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as bisexual. Additionally, the most common reason provided was that bisexual parents wanted to

promote open and honest communication with their children (Berghaus, 2021). Coming out is a

truly vulnerable process, specifically for bisexual individuals. Yet, to any individual coming out,

the process allows for open, honest conversations and a chance to be oneself without fear or

shame.

Positive Effects of Coming Out as Bisexual

As with any sexual minority, there are potentially harmful effects of coming out. One

runs the risk of losing their home, family, and loved ones. Bisexual individuals face these risks,

including generalized homophobia, as well. However, by coming out, bisexual individuals may

be subjected to additional biphobia or a dismissal of their identity. Yet, coming out can also

affect sexual minorities positively. The LGBTQ+ community offers a place for members to feel

as though they belong within a heteronormative culture. Being out and vocal about one’s identity

also allows for change within society. By supporting the LGBTQ+ community as a member of

the community, change can be incited through advocacy and support for other individuals

(Crooks et al., 2021).

Davilla et al.’s 2019 survey of bisexual individuals concluded that bisexual individuals

reap bisexual-specific benefits by coming out. Internalized biphobia and internalized feelings of

not being queer enough are frequent amongst bisexual individuals (Flanders et al., 2017). But, by

coming out, Davilla et al.’s participants felt more connected to other sexual minorities, felt

affirmed in their identity, and perceived their sexuality as legitimate and valid as monosexual

identities (2019).
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Further, those who did come out indicated that their mental health had improved. Coming

out allowed bisexual individuals to freely be themselves within an accepting community of

sexual minorities. Those who were out experienced more self-affirmation and connection than

closeted bisexuals. Participants who were out also felt more confident in themselves as

individuals (Davilla et al., 2019). Coming out is a difficult process that requires self-

acknowledgement both self-acceptance. For bisexual individuals, this may be compromised by

internalized homophobia and biphobia. The subsequent disclosure may then run risks of

experiencing both homophobia and biphobia. However, for bisexual individuals, coming out can

be a positive experience that allows one to fully embrace their identity within a supportive

community.
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Discussion

It is evident that bisexual individuals face unique struggles as a result of their sexual

identity and certainly more research is necessary to examine the depth of such struggles. As Ross

et al. noted in their analysis, bisexual individuals are often grouped with other non-heterosexual

identities in scientific studies, making it difficult to distinguish between the different experiences

of sexual minorities (2018). Yet, existing research does indicate that bisexual individuals

struggle with mental health, substance abuse, and their sexual identity as a result of biphobia-

based beliefs (Ross et al., 2018; Davilla et al., 2019; Flanders et al., 2017). Although those who

do come out indicate they struggle less in these areas, coming out is a difficult process,

especially when facing biphobia (Davilla et al., 2019). However, it appears that coming out may

be easier for bisexuals in the future.

Dodge et al. found in their study that although a majority of their participants indicated

neutral feelings toward bisexuality as an identity, those under twenty-five were more likely to

express positive feelings toward bisexuality as an identity. A shift toward positive change

indicates that generations to come will be more likely to accept and embrace bisexual identities,

hopefully diminishing the harmful effects of biphobia. Further, 93% of bisexual parents indicated

that they planned to discuss their sexual orientation with their children in the future (Berghaus et

al., 2021). Open, honest conversation with children regarding sexual identities paired with an

already changing perspective shift amongst younger generations fosters hope that bisexual

individuals will feel comfortable with themselves and experience better health as a result.

Diminishing the stigma of identifying as bisexual is the first step to inciting positive change in

the lives of bisexual individuals.

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References

Berghaus, A. (2021). Making visible the invisible: Bisexual parents ponder coming out to their

kids. Sexualities, 24(3), 341–369. https://doi.org/10.1177/1363460720939046

Crooks, R., Baur, K., & Widman, L. (2021). “Sexual Orientations”. In Our Sexuality (14th ed.,

pp. 239–267). Cengage Learning.

Davila, J., Jabbour, J., Dyar, C., & Feinstein, B. A. (2019). Bi+ Visibility: Characteristics of

Those Who Attempt to Make Their Bisexual+ Identity Visible and the Strategies They

Use. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 48(1), 199–211. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-018-

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Dodge, B., Herbenick, D., Friedman, M. R., Schick, V., Fu, T.-C. (Jane), Bostwick, W., Bartelt,

E., Muñoz-Laboy, M., Pletta, D., Reece, M., & Sandfort, T. G. M. (2016). Attitudes

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https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0164430

Flanders, C. E., Dobinson, C., & Logie, C. (2017). Young Bisexual Women’s Perspectives on

the Relationship Between Bisexual Stigma, Mental health, and Sexual Health: a

Qualitative Study. Critical Public Health, 27(1), 75–85.

https://doi.org/10.1080/09581596.2016.1158786

Ross, L. E., Salway, T., Tarasoff, L. A., MacKay, J. M., Hawkins, B. W., & Fehr, C. P. (2018).

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Lesbian, and Heterosexual Individuals: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.

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