Professional Documents
Culture Documents
” - A j ou rn ey i n to m ysel f
(A copy of this can be downloaded from
http://sriperso.googlepages.com/mylittleworld )
Preface
Tr e k o n : 5-nov-2006
Distance: 6 0 k m a p p r ox
Ti m e t a ke n : 1 d a y
Cost: Nearly 100 Rs excluding food.
Yo u r s ,
Srikanth K S
Just as the white summer cloud, in harmony
with heaven and earth freely floats in blue
sky from horizon to horizon following the
breadth of the atmosphere- in the same way
pilgrim abandons himself to the breadth of
greater life that … leads him beyond the
farthest horizons, to an aim that is already
present within him, though yet hidden from
his sight
Lama Govinda
“ Yo u a r e n o l o n g e r a k i d . Yo u m a y d o a s y o u p l e a s e ” I k n e w
Appa was frustrated.
“B u t ” I s a i d , w i t h s t r a n g e d e t e r m i n a t i o n .
“ I a m g o i n g t o t r e k t o m o r r o w , l e t w h a t e v e r h a p p e n” .
However appa had all the reaso ns for his worries – I had
decided to trek savandurga alone. I had not been to any
major trek after coming back from Bhubaneswar (Aug 06).
All my tries to collaborate a trek with others had gone
v a i n . I d e c i d e d t o b r e a k a w a y f r o m t h e I n f y w o r k m o n o t o n y.
P r e p a r a t i o n w e n t o n n o r m a l l y. I l o a d e d m y b a g w i t h t h r e e 1
litre water bottles, emergency torch, another pair of dress
and ಅವಲಕ ಕ (avalakki) that amma had prepared for me.
Appa dropped me till the nearest bus stand, with many
words of caution of course.
B u t , t h i s w a s n o t a l l . S o m e t h i n g e l s e ke p t r e m i n d i n g m e o f
m y e n d e a v o r. A s u s u a l w i t h a l l t h e t r e k s , j o u r n e y s e e m e d
to remind of ‘life’. Mind seemed to forget it was ‘srikanth’,
I had started thinking externally about myself (I
realiz ed this state later).
What did I seek?
Where was this jo urney towards?
B r e a k t h r o u g h s t r i ke s i n t h e a l g o r i t h m , I m a ke a n o t e o f i t .
Again I turn inward.
Wa s I p l a y i n g a f o r c e d m i d d l e g a m e ?
Int uition said, pieces were in my control. Career in scienc e,
my dream of winning ‘fields’,…… many other things, all
h a n g i n g i n a i r.
T h i s e n i g m a s t r i ke s m e w h e n e v e r I t h i n k o f
‘Mathematic al certainty’. I am always sure when I establish
it, prove it. But the process of this discovery itself is
u n c l e a r a n d i l l o g i c a l . Fo r t h a t m a t t e r , ‘ l i f e ’ i t s e l f s t r i ke s a s
a hoard of illogical ‘connections’. Here ‘connections’ is the
word that creat es the impression that system could be
logically breakable. I no longer agree with Einst ein
believing ‘we can understand the subtle lord’. Submission
s e e m s n a t u r a l ; b e l i e f i s g e t t i n g s t r o n g e r i n ಭ ಕ ತ ಮ ಾ ಗು
(bhakti maarga).
C a b w a s p a c ke d ; p e o p l e w e r e f r o w n i n g , f o r h e w a s t a k i n g
1 5 R s , w h i l e a b u s w o u l d t a ke y o u f o r 6 R s . B u t h e ke p t
saying, he would be taking us up to the base of the hill
while a bus would leave at the entrance from where foot of
t h e h i l l i s 3 K m . We h a d n o o t h e r w a y ( B e n g a l o o r u t o
Maagadi had cost me 18 Rs). The family in the cab blamed
eac h other for being late and therefore missing the bus.
S l o w l y , w o m e n p i c ke d u p a n a n i m a t e d d e b a t e . A g u y
( p r o b a b l y h u s b a n d o f o n e o f t h e w o m e n ) l o o ke d a t m e a n d
w e l a u g h e d . I t w a s a g u y t h i n g . Wo m e n c a m e t o k n o w w h y
we laughed. (Usually outsmarting happens the other way)
Wo m e n l e f t t h e i r d i s c u s s i o n . We a c q u a i n t e d t o e a c h o t h e r.
T h e y w e r e f r o m ತ ು ಮ ಕ ೊ ರ ು ( t u m a ko o r u ) v i s i t i n g t h e i r ಮ ನ ೆ
ದ ೆೋ ವ ರ ು ( a n c e s t r a l d e i t y ) . T h e n c a m e t h e m u c h e x p e c t e d
question
“ M y p a r e n t s h a v e a l r e a d y r e a c h e d y e s t e r d a y. I h a d s o m e
work. So …..”
Fo r e s t o u t s i d e w a s a c o n s t a n t r e m i n d e r o f t h e u n e x p e c t e d
w h i c h I e x p e c t e d t o h a p p e n . L o o k i n g a t t h e r o c ky
mountain, I could feel my fist tighten.
L o t o f t h i n g s h a d w o r ke d u n c o n s c i o u s l y b e h i n d t h e s c r e e n
w h e n I t a l ke d t o t h e f a m i l y. I h a d w o r e c l o t h e s t h a t w e r e
n o t c i t i s h ( c i t y - i s h ) a n d t a l ke d i n v i l l a g e a c c e n t ( e l s e t h e y
w o u l d n o t h a v e t a l ke d t o m e ) . T h i s w a s n o t t h e s i t u a t i o n a
f e w y e a r s a g o . T h e e v e r w i d e n i n g g a p b e t w e e n Ru r a l a n d
Urban India has reac hed alarming proportions. A rapid
change in culture due to globalization has led to stark
c o n t r a s t . ( Re m e m b e r a n g r y v i l l a g e r s o u t s i d e B e n g a l o o r u
d i g g i n g u p M y s o o r u -B e n g a l o o r u h i g h w a y b u i l t b y N I C E ) . I
feel a subtle risk traveling countryside, whic h was a free
r i s k z o n e a f e w y e a r s a g o . Te r r o r i s m a n d t h e N a x a l a c t i v i t y
together with other unfounded beliefs has made villagers
f e e l i n s e c u r e s e e i n g c i t y f o l k s e n t e r t h e i r t e r r i t o r y.
I h e a d e d s t r a i g h t t o w a r d s t h e v a l l e y. I d o n ’ t k n o w w h a t
d r o v e m e ; m i n d w a s f i x e d o n t h e g o a l . Fo u n d a c o m f o r t a b l e
place to change to trekking attire. I seem ed to do all
a c t i v i t i e s l i ke a r o b o t . I h a v e o b s e r v e d t h e s a m e t h i n g
happening whenever I do things with concentration. I do it
and then realiz e I did it. This puts me into duality what ‘I’
is here?
I “The power of such mountain is so great and yet
so subtle that, without compulsion, people are
drawn to it from far and near, as if by the force
of some invisible magnet; and they will undergo
untold hardships and privations in their urge to
approach and to worship the centre of this
sacred power…. This worshipful and religious
attitude is not impressed by scientific facts,
like figures of altitude, which are foremost in
the mind of modern man. Nor it is motivated by
the urge to conquer the mountain…..”
Lama Govinda
The way of white clouds
entered into the dense part, to my surprise I saw a big ಉಡ
(monitor lizard) lying on the forest floor and a bunch of
m o n ke y s o n t h e t r e e s a m a z e d ( o r p e t r i f i e d ) l o o k i n g a t t h e
creature (not me, the lizard). They also got surprised,
l i z a r d d i s a p p e a r e d a n d m o n ke y s t o o k a d e f e n s i v e p o s i t i o n ,
their leader in the front made a grill face at me showing its
teet h set. I knew what to do, I ignored them, but they
followed me for half a furlong or so, then I lost their sight.
“ ಥ ತ ್ ಇ ದ ರ , ಇ ಲ ಲ ಗ ೊ ವ ಕ ಕ ರ ಸ ದ ಾ ಲ ಾಲ ಇ ವ ು ! ”
I p u t t h e a v a l a k k i b a c k , c l o s e d t h e b ox . I w a s f e e l i n g a
b u r n i n g s e n s a t i o n i n m y s t o m a c h . We s t a r e d a t e a c h o t h e r
a n d t h e n i t d i s a p p e a r e d . N o r m a l l y , t h e s e k i d s ke e p
wandering without any sense of responsibility, so the
probability that it would give clue to its elders was less. I
d i d n o t w a n t t o t a ke r i s k . I b e g a n t o r e a l i z e h o w d i f f i c u l t i t
was to move on the rocks without getting into the crevic es.
This needs greater grip, precise pre calc ulat ion and
sustained physical endurance.
I had now come to open region from where I could see the
regio n below, detect slight movement s (this was surely the
m o n ke y g a n g ) . M y s h i r t w a s c o m p l e t e l y w e t d u e t o
scorc hing sun. I was out of danger zone now; I thought so
a n d s t a r t e d e a t i n g . Av a l a k k i t a s t e d l i ke a m r u t h a , w e n t o n
eating , lat er realized I ate more than ½ and stopped.
Ro c k s l a y a h e a d , s e e m e d l i ke p e t t y c h a l l e n g e s l i ke o n e s i n
t h e m a t h O l y m p i a d s . T h e y l o o k s i m p l e , t r i c ky t o s o l v e ,
h a v e a b e a u t i f u l i d e a b e h i n d . Fo o d f o s t e r e d m y s p i r i t , I
went on.
I did not think, got into the crevice. Put my hand pump
torch on, the crevic e was too lo ng than expected, did not
s e e m t o o p e n u p a n y w h e r e . Wi t h i n a f e w y a r d s , i t b r o ke
into two sections, one leading to an opening and other into
a dark space. I could smell something strange- it was
excreta of some animal (similar to the smell you get if you
e n t e r d i l a p i d a t e d s t r u c t u r e s i n h a m p e w h e r e b a t s t a ke
r e f u g e ) . Fo c u s e d m y t o r c h t h e r e , s u r p r i s e - t h r e e f l e s h y
whit e structures sleeping, I could see fur growing on them
s l o w l y. T h e y s e e m e d l i ke y o u n g w i l d b o a r s ( ? ) , n o t s u r e .
What if mother boar was there? Simple-you would not be
reading this artic le. What if they had made some sound
when I put light on them and mother came running?
I t u r n e d t h e l i g h t o f f a n d b a c ke d o f f. B e f o r e t h i s t h o u g h t
had occurred to me I had thought of lifting one of them
a n d d o s o m e ಮ ು ದ ುು ( k i s s i n g a n d c u d d l i n g , t h e y w e r e r e a l l y
cute). I decided against it.
When I was 10 or 11 year old I had seen a young one of a
c r o w o n t h e g ro u n d a n d i t s n e s t d e s t r o y e d d u e t o h e a v y
wind and rains. I saw some part of the nest still hanging on
t h e t r e e . I p u t t h i s c r e a t u r e i n t o t h e p o c ke t , c l i m b e d t h e
t r e e a n d p l a c e d i t b a c k i n t h e n e s t . To m o r r o w , I a g a i n s a w
the small one laying the ground, this time dead. Appa said
mother won’t accept the child once it comes to know that a
h u m a n h a s t o u c h e d i t . I d u g a n d b u r i e d i t . Fe l t g u i l t y ,
convinced myself with the pret ext of not knowing the fact.
I still wonder why this happens.
As I ran towards the opening of the crevice (where I had
g o t i n ) , I r e a l i z e d a n o t h e r m i s t a ke . T h i s c r e v i c e w a s u n
c l i m b a b l e , a s o r t o f o n e w a y e n t r y.
As usual, analyze-try-fail, analyze-try-fail…… this was not
e a s y. A n o t h e r o p e n i n g o f t h e c r e v i c e w a s t h e r e , d a n g e r o f
mother arriving was also there. Going out through another
opening was the rational choice.
Life goes on….. I moved on, relics of the fort were visible
n o w. I c h a l ke d o u t a s t r a t e g y - ‘ I h a v e t o c o n t i n u o u s l y m o v e
towards my left and hit karigudda’. This left flank was
more challenging compared to the right side that we had
t a ke n l a s t t i m e . I k n e w m y t r e k w a s a b o u t t o b e g i n n o w , a l l
that happened till now was a warm up. Upon thinking this,
n e w l i f e f l o w e d l i ke a c u r r e n t t h r o u g h m y v e i n s . I m o v e d u p
stepping at right spots, making correct decisions at crux
positions. This made me feel about my elegance,
confidence level was high.
Next big problem was the bulging rock that stood between
me and the valley of karigudda. There were two ways-
1. Climb up the rock and get down the other side. That
shall land me in the valley of karigudda.
2 . Ke e p m o v i n g p a r a l l e l t o t h e r o c k o n i t s r i g h t , w h e r e t h e
b u l g e i s l e s s , c r o s s o v e r.
A h a , a f a i r y t a l e s t o r y - I s a i d t o m y s e l f. B u t i t w a s
compelling. I was in a mood to try out anything. Moving till
the silt itself was a 10min task and from then on just hope
was on my side. I went up to the slit.
W h e w ! S l i t w a s b i g e n o u g h t o l e t o n e p e r s o n i n . Wa y w a s
c u r v y. I t w a s s u r r o u n d e d b y 8 m t s t o n e w a l l s a n d t h e p l a c e
was wet with water trickling over the rocks, carving out
b e a u t i f u l p a t t e r n s o n t h e r o c k s . H o p e l o o ke d p l a u s i b l e , b u t
this way seemed to cut through the rock. I sat there for a
while and meditated. What if I spend my whole life
meditating here, doing yoga and discovering mathematics?
“ Ye s , t h e r e i s a w a y ” , a s u d d e n t u r n l e f t t u r n c r e a t i n g t h e
illusion of dead end. This struck me as a sign of my future
success, instilled confidence in my intuition. Somewhere in
t h e i n t e r i o r o f m y m i n d – “ y o u a r e a g e n i u s . Yo u k n o w, y o u
are destined to achieve”. Did rocks resonate this thought?
I felt so.
Wa i t ! W h a t i f t h i s l e a d s m e i n t o h o m e o f s o m e w i l d b o a r o r
b e a r ? I p e e p e d i n l i ke a t h i e f. T h e r e w a s a h i n t o f s l i t
opening up, yes, I could see sunrays reaching the bottom
o f t h e s l i t . S l i t h a d o p e n e d u p i n t o a w a t e r w a y. W o r l d
o p e n e d i n t o a s m a l l w i n d o w. I w a s l o o k i n g i n t o t h e o u t s i d e
w o r l d a f t e r a b o u t h a l f a n h o u r. I f e l t I w a s j u s t b o r n t o
have a look outside.
A happy moment
A p p a s a i d “w h a t a b o u t a n u m b e r d i v i d e d b y t h r e e t i m e s
say 1 cut into 3 parts multiplied another number of same
kind?”
Wa t e r w a y h a d f e d t o r i c h v e g e t a t i o n ; t h i s p a r t w a s d e n s e
a n d t h o r n y. I w a s n o w i n t h e v a l l e y o f k a r i g u d d a .
Ka r i g u d d a - i t s t o o d l i k e a s a g e , w e l c o m i n g a s t u d e n t .
Fi g h t i n g t h o r n s w a s d i f f i c u l t t h i s t i m e , n o s t i c k , n o k n i f e . I
Learnt a new trick, I would throw my bag into the thorny
bush and then step on it. I was gaining altitude but was
clueless regarding how to approach karigudda. Climbing
t h e r o c k w a s o u t o f q u e s t i o n a s i t w a s t o o s t e e p , I ke p t
thro ugh the forest. Scenery I left behind was breathtaking.
I c o u l d s e e t h e l a ke b e l o w a n d t h e p e a k s o f Ra m a n a g a r a . I
am going to climb each one of them, that one, this one,
that one……
C l o c ke d s h o w e d 2 , d e c i d e d t o s i t b e l o w t h e ‘ l i g h t n i n g t r e e ’
a n d f i n i s h r e s t o f t h e Av a l a k k i . I t d i d n o t f i l l m y s t o m a c h .
Expecting suc h a situat ion I had brought a few bananas, by
t h e n t h e y h a d b e c o m e p a s t e l i ke .
How was the life of the Naayakas(fighters) who guarded
D u r g a s l i ke t h i s ? I h a v e r e j o i c e d b e i n g a f i g h t e r f r o m m y
c h i l d h o o d . A p p a t o o k m e t o ಚ ತ ೂ ದ ು ಗು ( c h i t r a d u r g a ) f o r t
whenever we went to our home town. As I became older, I
explored nook and corner and tell him about my
adventures. Then, it was the other way, I showing him the
p l a c e s h e m i s s e d . Wa s I b o r n a s s o m e N a a y a k a ?
I s t o o d o n t h e t o p . B r e a t h t a k i n g v i e w. I s a w a s m a l l p o n d
on the top. I looked at the track I climbed; it was like
looking at my life in fast forward mode. Clock showed 3.
This is too early for my normal trekking standards.
Biligudda seemed to be at much higher altitude than where
I sat, but statistics said peaks differ only by 20 feet,
B i l i g u d d a w i n n i n g . Wo n d e r i n g a b o u t t h i s f a c t a n d u n a w a r e
of what was in stock for me, I turned back.
What happened from now on, rattled me, killed me, I was
dumbfounded with what life offered …. It made me realize,
this was not a simple trek, it turned out to be spiritual
j o u r n e y.
O h m a n ! W h a t i s t h i s ? I s a w a m o n s t e r r i s i n g l i ke a
c o n s t r i c t e d n o r m a l f u n c t i o n . T h e p e a k l o o ke d m a r v e l o u s ,
almost a perfect cone. This was unmistakably the one I had
come for
“K a r i g u d d a ! ! ” I s a i d t o m y s e l f.
Fr o m t h e s i d e I h a d a p p r o a c h e d , h i g h r a i s e d t r e e s h a d
b l o c ke d t h e v i e w o f t h e p e a k a n d i t o n l y a p p e a r e d w h e n I
s t o o d o n t h i s r o c k w h i c h I h a d m i s t a ke n f o r K a r i g u d d a f r o m
the beginning the trek. I took the last snap of the pond,
the peak of Biligudda in background seemed to remind of a
distant aim.
I ran down into the forest to get to the base of the
karigudda. This is no simple task. One needs skill to clear
this strip; it is the steepest I have ever climbed till date. It
is my practice to never grip using hands while climbing a
steep rock as walking on the legs gives super ior grip. But
while I was almost halfway, I lost the grip. If I hadn’t fallen
on my hands, death was certain. I was climbing with the
mentality of ‘let me beat this guy’ and that was not a good
state of mind. I realized how my mental state had led me
to imperfection. I did lie down for a while, it was a
submissio n. My arroganc e was shattered. I meditated, my
w a s c l e a r. I t w a l ke d u p t o t h e p e a k o n m y l e g s a s u s u a l . I t
was a miracle.
Pe a k w a s n a r r o w , m i n d w a s p r i s t i n e . I w a s o n e w i t h t h e
mountain. I knew I had to be calm, but, why was I
i m p a t i e n t d u r i n g t h e c l i m b ? N o a n s w e r. I m a d e a m i s t a ke , I
corrected it, and I smiled, all the peaks around me sm iled.
Me, my life, adventures, mathematics all seemed to
muddle up in space time. I stopped asking philosophical
q u e s t i o n s t o m y s e l f. I s a w t h e t r u e m e a n i n g w h e n I
submitted. There was no me, I disso lved into the rock and
became a part of it. I had no necessity to ask any
question, I am here to play my role; I am him, its true,
L i ke t h e h u s h i n t h e s e s n o w m o u n t a i n s , t h e s i l e n c e
s w e l l e d w i t h t h e i n t a ke o f m y b r e a d t h i n t o a
presence of vast benevolenc e of whic h I was a
part: in my journal for that day, seeking in vain to
find the words for what had happened, I called it
the “smile”. The smile seem ed to grow out of me,
f i l l i n g a l l t h e s p a c e a b o v e a n d b e h i n d l i ke a h u g e
shadow… for it was I who smiled; the smile was
me. I did not breathe; I did not need to look; for it
was everywhere. Nor there was terror in my awe: I
f e l t “ g o o d ” , l i ke a “ g o o d c h i l d ” , e n t i r e l y s a f e .
Wo u n d s , r a g g e d e d g e s , h o l l o w p l a c e s w e r e a l l
gone, all had been healed; my heart lay at the
h e a r t o f a l l c r e a t i o n”
T h e S n o w L e o p a r d , Pe t e r M a t h i e s s e n
Advaita.
Fa r s t r e t c h i n g e x p a n s e o f t h e m o n o l i t h w a s s t u n n i n g , t h e r e
w a s l o t u n e x p l o r e d . Re l i c s o f t h e f o r t o n t h e o t h e r s i d e
were in good condition due to sparse human intervention. I
thought, the trek ended but fate had a different story to
s a y. I u n s u s p e c t i n g l y s t a r t e d w a l k i n g t o w a r d s B i l i g u d d a . I
had underestimated the difficulty of the path from
karigudda to biligudda. As I got down the karigudda a
s t e e p r o c k b l o c ke d m y v i s i o n o f B i l i g u d d a . S i n c e t h i s r o c k
was too steep to climb, I had to go into to valley of
Karigudda (now there were two valleys. One was where I
t r e k ke d f r o m a n d t h e o t h e r o n o t h e r s i d e o f K a r i g u d d a ) . I n
order to explore the other side of the valley, I started
getting down. I encountered deadly crevic es, at beginning I
l o s t a l t i t u d e u n i f o r m l y. A s I p r o g r e s s e d c r e v i c e s b e c a m e
difficult to handle, my speed was too slow and at one point
I had to stop with ‘black holes’ all around me ready to
show me way into new universe. Another unnoticed thing
was that I was in the shadow region of karigudda and
vegetation was so dense that I was almost in darkness.
This was a serious setback.
I p u t t h e t o r c h o n , b u t i t d i d n o t l i g h t u p . I t r e k ke d u p t h e
valley again, now with half the speed I had come because
of bad light. I came back to the place where I started from.
It was almost half an hour and my displac ement was zero.
To g e t h e r w i t h l o w v i s i b i l i t y , p o s s i b i l i t y o f g e t t i n g s t r u c k
here for that night made me get tensed (this was unusual
f o r m e ) . I t r i e d t h e o t h e r s i d e o f t h e v a l l e y. A h ! C r e v i c e s
again. This was irritating. I could have cleared them if I
had enough light. I knew sun was not yet down, it was still
4 . 1 5 o r 4 . 3 0 , b u t I w a s s t i l l i n s h a d o w r e g i o n . Ti m e w a s
running out, if I was not out of the shadow within another
half an hour, I would be bestowed with complete darkness.
Pa n i c !
S u d d e n l y , t h i s i d e a s t r i ke d m e . H o w i f I ke e p m o v i n g n e x t
to the steep rock till it opens up somew here? This was a
s u p e r b s o l u t i o n b e c a u s e , a s I ke p t m o v i n g n e x t t o t h e
steep rock there is no chance of missing the track at all,
no chance of meeting crevices and once I get out of this
Biligudda shall be visible to me and I would be out of
shadow regio n( remember there was still light in outside
world).
S n a ke s h a d d e p a r t e d , I g o t d o w n . I w a l ke d t h e w a y a s I
planned, this time not caring for thorns, let them kill me
how much ever they could, I wanted to get out of this
place. I moved with such elegance as if I knew the place
from my birth.
Ye s ! I w a s o u t o f t h e s h a d o w. B i l i g u d d a w a s s h i n i n g ; r a t h e r
i t w a s r e f l e c t i n g t h e l a s t r a y s o f t h e d a y. C e l e b r a t i o n ! N o ,
there was no time. If I was not on the Biligudda peak
within half an hour, I would again be lost in darkness, this
t i m e f o r e v e r.
Tw o r o c k s w e r e s e p a r a t e d b y 2 - 3 m t s , t h e s e t w o r o c k s
t a p e r e d t o c r e a t e a c r e v i c e . I h a d t o c r o s s o v e r. T h e r e w a s
n o o t h e r w a y. T h e r e w a s a t r e e a l m o s t i n b e t w e e n . I t r i e d
t o p e r c h o n t h e t r e e , s a i l a n d l a n d o n t h e o t h e r s i d e l i ke
t h e g i r l i n “ c r o u c h i n g t i g e r a n d t h e h i d d e n d r a g o n” . T h e n
c a m e t h e u n e x p e c t e d j o l t . T h e b r a n c h I w a s h o l d i n g b r o ke ,
I felt into the crevice.
Death!
ಯ ಾ ವ ಮ ೋ ಹ ನ ಮ ು ರ ಳ ಕ ರ ೆ ಯ ತ ೆೊೋ
ದೊರ ತೋರಕೆ ನ ನ ನನು
ಯಾವ brin ದಾವನವು ಸೆಳೆಯ ತು
ನ ನ ನ ಮಣ ಣ ನ ಕಣ ಣನು
ವ ವ ಶ ವ ಾ ಯ ತ ು ಪ ಾೂ ಣ
ಪ ರ ವ ಶ ವ ು ನ ನ ನ ೋ ಚ ೆೋ ತ ನ
ಇ ರ ು ವ ು ದ ೆ ಲ ಲ ವ ಬ ಟ ುು ಇ ರ ದ ು ದ ರ ೆ ಡ ೆ ಗ ೆ ನ ಡ ೆ ವ ು ದ ೆೋ ಜ ೋ ವ ನ
D e a t h w a s c e r t a i n . I d i d n ’ t f e e l l i ke s h o u t i n g . M o b i l e w a s i n
the bag on top the rock, even if it was there, only thing I
could tell was where to search for my corpus. Body started
to tremble, shock was immense.
O k , I a m g o i n g t o d i e , f i n e , t e l l m e a p ro b l e m I c a n s o l v e
now, I ordered my mind.
Riemann’s Hypothesis!
Pa r t i t i o n t h e o r e m ! . . .
N o s o l v a b l e p r o b l e m s t r i ke d t o m e . I c o u l d h e a r b i r d s
chirping above my head while they were moving towards
t h e i r n e s t s . I l o o ke d u p . I s a w t h e p a r t o f t h e b r o ke n t r e e . I
hit upon this idea. “If I can travel a little upwards
balancing between my legs and back and since the gap
between the rocks increased there I can’t grip above a
c e r t a i n p o i n t . I f I c a n t a ke a l e a p f r o m t h a t p o i n t
( simultaneously I have to get disconnected from the rock)
and hold on to the tree and then I can climb it and cross
over to the other rock-not to the rock I came from, else all
my circus goes waste). All this was assuming that tree
would not give up again.
We l l , I h a d g o t a s i m p l e p r o b l e m t o s o l v e . Tw o p e r s o n n o n -
co operative game where min-max theorem yields no
saddle point. In simple words, trying out what I had
thought was my best alternativ e as this offered some
chance of survival, else death was sure. I need not say
what happened next.
D a y s a n d m o n t h s a r e t r a v e l e r s o f e t e r n i t y. S o a r e
the years that pass by … I myself have been
tempted for a long time by the cloud moving
wind-filled with strong desire to wander …. I
w a l ke d t h r o u g h m i s t s a n d c l o u d s , b r e a t h i n g t h e
thin air of high altitudes and stepping on
slippery ic e and snow, till at last through a
gateway of clouds, as it seemed, to very paths
of sun and moon, I reac hed the summit,
completely out of breat h and frozen to death.
Presently the sun went down and moon rose
g l i s t e n i n g i n t h e s ky ”
-B a s h o , T h e n a r r o w r o a d t o t h e d e e p N o r t h
f i g u r e d o u t t h e w a y w e h a d t a ke n l a s t t i m e .