Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Cultivating: Confidence
Cultivating: Confidence
confidence
Cultivating
NO TO CONTRACEPTION
Before: ± 20% After: ± 69%
OUR MISSION
is to equip families to live God’s plan for humanity through online Catholic mentoring.
In This
Issue
Between their three children,
Marian (5), Evelyn (3), and Joanna
(1), Seth and Elizabeth Timpe
have experienced almost every
kind of baby feeding scenario,
and so have learned firsthand
exactly how interconnected it is
with the return to fertility. While
they know the difficulties of the
postpartum time, they look at
it as a time rife for potential
growth in their marriage.
8 Cultivating confidence:
Turning postpartum positive
A combination of trusted information and the
support of others can make all the difference
in helping the postpartum transition to be a
positive one.
3
The View from Here
Ann
Gundlach
Editor
Walking a mile
I think we all know how helpful it is Personal connections and meeting
to know someone who has walked a couples where they are can be even
mile in our shoes. more important to gently guide them
I remember how genuinely toward the growth in their marriage
helpful it was to go La Leche League that will allow the practice of NFP
meetings as a new nursing mother. to be a source of grace rather than
Mind you, I wasn’t having any frustration.
particular trouble with nursing, but In this issue you will read about
just getting together with a group of two Live the Love projects developed
both new and experienced to guide NFP users through some-
breastfeeding women times difficult situations: the post-
was incredibly sup- partum transition and teaching our
portive to me. Besides daughters about the beauty
the camaraderie, I of their fertility. One
soaked up their sto- aspect of the postpartum
ries and experiences, project put mothers into
tucking away tidbits online groups that met
of wisdom in case I for several weeks with
ever needed it. And a CCL teacher/mod-
just knowing I had erator to discuss different
somewhere to take my aspects of the transition
questions if I ran into and how to manage trouble
trouble brought down spots. The moderator is there
the anxiety levels. to provide information, but it’s
A more serious need for ac- the conversation and sharing
companiment came in later years among the women that is most Family Foundations
with a mental health diagnosis in beneficial. And for those whose post- Volume 47, Number 3 • November/December 2020
one of our sons. Greg and I literally partum needs center mainly around PUBLISHED BY
felt lost until we found help through charting, we have launched targeted The Couple to Couple League International Inc.
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental postpartum consulting to bring more info@ccli.org
helping us feel more capable to navi- ter online area is the result of hear- PRODUCTION and DESIGN
gate the challenges we had. ing for years from our NFP students: b graphic design • www.b-graphicdesign.com
As CCL celebrates its 50th year “Why didn’t anyone teach me this Family Foundations is published six times per year.
of ministry, we are excited to move when I was younger?!” But this isn’t The print edition is sent as a benefit to all U.S.
into the next 50 years with goals that the easiest thing to talk about, so we members who contribute at least $65/year. Print
subscriptions (without membership) are available
center on supporting NFP couples have compiled videos and resources for $39. Single copies available for $6.00 each plus
in more varied ways. CCL has always for moms and daughters to explore, shipping. Quantity discounts and bulk subscriptions
are available. For information call 800-745-8252 or
offered accompaniment, but today’s and created a community area for email ccli@ccli.org.
technology and the growing interest moms to share or ask questions of
Submitted materials become the property of CCL
in fertility awareness have opened each other. and will not be returned. CCL is granted the right to
up wonderful opportunities. Infor- Walking a mile with someone use the materials for any purpose and in any manner.
mation is often not enough when makes the journey a lot easier for www.ccli.org • 5440 Moeller Ave., Suite 149 •
bumps in the road are encountered. them than letting them walk it alone. Norwood, OH 45212 • 800-745-8252
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
5
WITNESS TALK Teaching Couples
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
it together and see that fertility isn’t Bradley When we say practicing ing her infertile time when we would
just her problem but rather a beau- NFP hasn’t been easy, this is the truth. normally be able to come together,
tiful gift we figure out together. There have been times of long periods and then she would be home during
of abstinence, especially postpar- her fertile times when we needed to
Heather Practicing NFP hasn’t tum as Heather’s fertility returned abstain. These times were hard, but
always been easy. When we first again, it allowed us to connect other
started out, we hoped to wait a We’re glad that NFP has helped ways and we grew in virtue. Now dur-
couple of years to start our family, spur more open discussions ing the fertile times when we aren’t
but God knew better and we were about what we each need and being called to be sexually intimate,
blessed with a surprise pregnancy expect out of our marriage. we are better at finding other ways
just a couple of months after being to show love and intimacy, whether
married. At first, I was mad and felt to normal. When we were blessed is doing the laundry or dishes so the
like NFP had failed us, but then the with our unexpected first pregnancy other doesn’t have to, giving a nice
situation opened us up to deeper as a newlywed couple with no kids foot massage, or just sitting quietly on
communication. and lots of alone
time, we had the
Bradley It was a great reminder time and opportu-
that God is part of the family pro- nity to be intimate
cess, and that every time we unite in almost whenever
intimacy, even in the infertile times, we wanted to be.
our love is ordered to life because we Obviously, things
are respecting God’s design. It also changed drastically
led us to prayerfully discern God’s call after Taylor was
in our lives and that our family spac- born. It became
ing needs to be in accordance with much harder to find
His will and not just our desires. We time to work on our
realized that God had a plan and that own relationship,
by being open to his plan through and we suddenly
NFP, he gave us a blessing far greater went from never
and better-timed than we could have having to wait to be
planned on our own. intimate to months of waiting due to the couch together. There are times
abnormal mucus patches and lack of when we both have to, as it’s been
confidence in interpreting signs. said, choose to love each other in
Heather There have been mo- During this time, we knew we ways other than sexually. We’re glad
ments of great joy in our practice had to work on other parts of our that NFP has helped spur more open
of NFP but also times of pain and relationship like communication and discussions about what we each need
clarity. We have been blessed with prayer. During the most difficult parts and expect out of our marriage.
five pregnancies and four beautiful of that time, I questioned our use of
living children. When we lost our NFP, so we talked to other couples Heather Marriage is a great gift
third child to a miscarriage, I was for support, prayed about it, read to from God and NFP has been a major
heartbroken, but NFP helped us learn more about God’s plan for sex part of our growth and maturity as
greatly even in this, especially as and why it was so important. We individuals and as a couple. Though
we worked through the grief and entered back into regular cycles it hasn’t always been easy, the diffi-
used a time of adjustment to navi- stronger and more understand- cult times have been just as benefi-
gate through some health issues. I ing of our roles in our marriage. cial, and in the end, more rewarding
followed some suggestions from the NFP has also helped us during a for us. We aren’t perfect, and NFP is
book, Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition time of serious reason to postpone a not meant just for perfect couples,
by Marilyn Shannon, and since then pregnancy. When our third child, Gi- but for couples who want to follow
we have been blessed with two more anna, was diagnosed with cancer, we God’s perfect plan!
beautiful children. I am so grateful knew that it was not a time to grow We are always in need of more volunteers to
to have been able to treat the issues our family. Heather was sometimes help introduce NFP to others! Learn more at
naturally and safely. gone with Gianna for treatments dur- ccli.org/volunteer/
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C u lt i vat i n g c o n f i d e n c e
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
postpartum
by Grace Emily Stark
Seth and Elizabeth Timpe have experienced the 3,791,712 4–6 weeks postpartum
postpartum transition with nearly every kind of baby Number of babies born in 2019 Average time before
feeding, and they were all tricky — even frustrating — due
to continuously changing mucus. The Denver area couple,
2,581,992 lochia disappears
Number of vaginal deliveries Return to fertility
both 31 and parents of three daughters, have seen first-
hand how much the different types of baby feeding have 1,208,176 Varies
impacted Elizabeth’s return of fertility. Elizabeth also Number of Cesarean deliveries
does not have a thyroid gland, and her thyroid medication
tends to throw yet another wrench into the mix.
They have had all the makings of postpartum night- Baby feeding
mares, and while not denying the difficulties they’ve Among infants born in 2015:
endured, this CCL Teaching Couple say the key for them • 4 out of 5 (83.2 percent) started out brea
stfeeding.
has been learning to be intentional about their relation- • While nearly 6 in 10 (57.6 percent) infants
are still breastfeeding
ships with each other and with God while their family at 6 months of age, only 1 in 4 are breastfee
ding exclusively.
size has grown. • Only one-third (35.9 percent) of infants were
breastfeeding at
“With all of the continually changing mucus I had,” 12 months.
Elizabeth says, “we were looking at about five or six [Data from the CDC’s 2018 Breastfeeding Repor
t Card]
months of abstinence each time because I never got to
establish a BIP (basic infertile pattern). But it really
brought us together as a couple.” her,” Elizabeth says, “and then I needed to pump — my
fertility returned before five months postpartum.”
BABY FEEDING AND FERTILITY With second daughter, Evelyn, breastfeeding went
Between their three children, Marian (5), Evelyn better, and Elizabeth’s return to fertility was closer to the
(3), and Joanna (1), the Timpes have experienced almost six-month mark.
every kind of baby feeding scenario, and so have learned “But then our third daughter, Joanna, wasn’t growing
firsthand exactly how interconnected baby feeding is well despite being breastfed, so we needed to supplement
with the return to fertility. with formula,” Elizabeth explains. “I didn’t start giving
“We went into the postpartum transition with our her formula until she was four months old, but as soon as
first daughter, Marian, wanting to exclusively breastfeed I did my fertility came back within two weeks.”
9
“Times of abstinence obviously wear on both of us” There is no denying it: Postpartum NFP is often chal-
she says, “but our mutual discernment led us to decide lenging.
that after each of our three children, we wanted a little But what if we stood all of the difficulties of the post-
more space before the next one.” partum time on their heads, and instead looked at this
transition as a time rife for potential growth?
TOWARD A BETTER SELLING POINT While we focus a lot on physical growth during preg-
For those of us looking to win converts to the fertil- nancy, postpartum can be a time of immense growth in
ity awareness methods (FAM) / natural family planning our relationships with God, ourselves, and our spouses —
(NFP) movement, the postpartum period can be a bit of if we tend the soil as we should. We still need to be honest
a sticking point. If we’re being honest with with ourselves and
ourselves (and others), the unpredictability Postpartum can be a time of immense others about the strug-
of postpartum fertility charting can make gles of the postpartum
for a pretty tough sell opposite the high growth in our relationships with God, transition, but we need
reliability of the culture’s favorite post- ourselves, and our spouses — if we tend to encourage ourselves
partum family planning methods (e.g., the the soil as we should. to look to the fruit that
so-called “mini-Pill” and the copper or is possible on the other
hormonal IUDs). side of it all, too.
Even with all of the benefits of NFP, it’s the transi- Happily, CCL has experienced through its Post-
tional moments in fertility (like postpartum and peri- partum Class that more knowledge often equates to
menopause) that have the potential to break a couples’ more confidence for couples navigating the postpartum
commitment to fertility awareness, especially when transition. And even though we have all heard the “horror
nearly every healthcare professional they encounter stories” of unpredictable postpartum fertility, not every
while postpartum gives them some version of a pat on the postpartum transition for every couple is so rife with dif-
head, and a “See you again in nine months!” when they ficulty — we promise!
discover an intention to forego traditional birth control. No matter a couples’ postpartum experience, when
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
11
CULTIVATING CONFIDENCE POSTPARTUM
That is why a woman who is breastfeeding exclusive- you do experience mucus, also get back into the habit of
ly and on-demand can expect her cycle — and therefore taking your basal body temperature. Note that medi-
her fertility — to be suppressed for quite some time. In cal providers typically recommend at least four to six
fact, this is actually the premise behind the Lactational weeks of abstinence after giving birth, as the woman
Amenorrhea Method (LAM) of natural family planning. heals from delivery.
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
13
CULTIVATING CONFIDENCE POSTPARTUM
“It stresses that dad takes care of the mom, so mom “Elizabeth will be honest with me, and say ‘I’m not
can take care of the baby. And sometimes as women, we feeling it right now, but I think you can help me get there’,”
think we need to do it all, that we don’t need the help, but Seth says. “And being able to talk about these things —
we really need to let our husbands take care of us at this having it not be awkward — is one of the great beauties
time,” says Elizabeth. of NFP. I also know that if I am romantic and love her as I
She also notes that even though she stays home with should, if I do something for her, that she doesn’t neces-
the kids, they still take shifts at night with a newborn sarily owe me anything in return.”
“because we both have a job to do tomorrow!” “I worry that it’s when couples don’t have these
“And no matter the age of the baby,” adds Seth, “prior important conversations that we see the fruit of it in
to COVID, I would always try to make sure Elizabeth things like divorce,” says Elizabeth. “We know ourselves
made it to her mom’s group for their monthly night out. that guilt or resentment can really build without that
This means making sure that the baby can do the bedtime open communication.”
routine with either of us. It means a little more work “And often,” adds Seth, “those feelings happen be-
upfront, but it’s important so that I can give Elizabeth a cause of a miscommunication. Sometimes you’re not
little more freedom.” really at odds at all — you might even be feeling the same
way — but if you don’t communicate and have a conversa-
MARITAL INTIMACY AND COMMUNICATION tion about it, you’ll never know.”
The Timpes also credit the increased communica- When fertility does return, and the long periods of
tion in general with NFP as helping them weather the abstinence are finally over, Elizabeth and Seth note that
“the connection is so much deeper when
we are finally able to come back to it.
That spiritual and mental connection is
just so much deeper, and we appreciate it
‘and rejoice’ as St. Paul says.”
BALANCING EXPECTATIONS
Seth and Elizabeth recommend go-
ing into the postpartum transition with
reasonable expectations. This is one big
reason to take CCL’s Postpartum Class
while still pregnant, they say. “Look at
us! We had three different scenarios.”
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
15
MISSION ADVANCEMENT
16
thermometers to advance CCL’s
classes in the dioceses of Kumbo and
Bamenda in Cameroon. As you may
imagine, the extraordinary demand
for thermometers worldwide and
complications due to social unrest
in Cameroon delayed our plans
to complete this project. We have
finally received the thermometers
earmarked for Cameroon and will
be sending them very soon. With
the unstable conditions there, we
need to make sure they arrive
safely to those couples who need
them; I will share more details as
things unfold. Thank you for all
17
CCL’S FIRST 50: A LOOK BACK
First 50
CCL’s
A look back
October 2020 began CCL’s 50th year of ministering to 1971
• CCL founded by
engaged and married couples with our unique mis- John & Sheila Kippley
sion to help couples live out their marital sexuality in
line with God’s beautiful plan for married love. Along
the way we have developed programs and products to
meet the needs of the time, all grounded in excellent 1973
• Preliminary Art of NFP
instruction in the Sympto-Thermal Method of NFP, (mimeographed)
delivered couple to couple, in the context of traditional
Christian sexuality. Enjoy this look at the many high-
lights and blessings, all made possible through the 1974
support of untold volunteers and donors. • Teaching Couple
#
10 certified
• 2,000th taught
1975
• Art of NFP, 1st ed
• 3,000th taught
1984
• Art of NFP, 3rd ed 1991 1993
• Promoter program • Fertility Cycles • Teaching Couple
established 1986 & Nutrition #
1000 certified
• Home Study course published • 100,000th taught
established
• Teaching Couples in
Mexico & Colombia
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FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
2016
• Your Love Story 2015 2013
published • New logo & branding • CycleProGo® Mobile 2012
• Self-paced Online App launched • Virtual teaching
Course debuted • Updated Transition Classes formalized & expanded
& books launched • Polish Postpartum
• Launched redesigned Class launched
website
2011
2009 2010 • ANFP Polish Course
• Postpartum & Premenopause • ANFP Spanish launched
Classes with books launched Course launched • Teacher Training
2008 streamlined &
• ANFP Course launched • Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition, • Teaching Couple
4th ed published improved
#
2000 certified
• CyclePRO® desktop • ANFP 2nd ed
charting software • 200,000th taught
launched
launched • Online Class Registration
• Art of Breastfeeding system launched
published
2007
• Web-based Teacher 2006 2002
Training launched • Is NFP Good? & • Spanish Basic 2001
• Eyes Wide Open The Human published • Teaching Couple
published Body… published #
1500 certified
• 150,000th taught
1998
1994 1997 • El Arte published
• Marriage is For Keeps • CCL Website
• Clergy & Physician
published • Hispanic development Seminars began
1996 created
• Art of NFP, 4th ed
published
19
A BETTER FERTILITY FOUNDATION
a better fertility
helped me to know if God had sent us
a new baby. Their eyes always lit up
at the thought! Children know inher-
foundation
ently that life is a gift.
20
FAMILY FOUNDATIONS November/December 2020
CCL begins outreach for teens our own new program for moms and they have been given in being female,
To better support young girls, daughters,” said CCL Executive Di- and moms are presented with several
CCL has launched programming to rector Katie Zulanas. “We have been suggested tracks based on the age of
help mothers more easily introduce working on this for many months and their daughter.
fertility awareness information to
their daughters. We were excited to
We are happy to offer the
kick this off by co-sponsoring a vir-
tual event on September 24 produced Mother/Daughter
by our partner, Natural Womanhood.
Nearly 1,000 women tuned in
Program
online to a presentation headlined by to our CCL members
former CCL promoter and fertility
at an introductory
educator Emily Sederstrand. Speak-
ing from her experiences of working 50% discount!
with teens, Emily shared both the Use code CCLMom50 at checkout.
importance of empowering teenage Valid through 12/31/20.
21
CULTIVATING CONFIDENCE POSTPARTUM
Cultivating confidence continued from page 14 Postpartum transition continued from page 15
postpartum charts,” says Elizabeth, “and everyone is become masters of their own arousal curve.” (On that
just so different. You really can’t predict for women note, when asked if there is a corresponding men’s
when they will be fertile again, so it is really important group for discussing the postpartum transition, Me-
to not compare other peoples’ postpartum experiences lissa says they are gauging interest in that — so please
to your own.” reach out to CCL if you feel called to this ministry!)
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Since 1990, Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition
has promoted healthy nutrition and lifestyle
choices for women. The completely updated &
revised 5th Edition continues this mission with:
• An updated “12 rules for better nutrition” • Advice on boosting your ability to digest food
• Steps you can take to increase your energy • Tips on homesteading & growing your own food
• The latest research on preventing endometriosis
• New information on male infertility