Social Graces and Etiquette

SPECIFIC OBJECTIVES:

At the end of the topic session the students are expected to:

Cognitive:
 Explain why good manners must be observed at all times at home and school.
 Enumerate the do’s and don’ts in dealing with family members in eating, using the comfort room
and making a telephone call.
 Describe the proper way of behaving inside the school premises.
 Define the meaning of personality development in terms of physical, mental, emotional and
social aspects.
 Discuss proper ways of observing good manners and etiquette in public places.
 Identify the right behaviors for men and women when riding a public utility vehicle.
 Enumerate the desirable manners that must be observed when one is dining in a restaurant.

Affective:
 Appreciate the importance of social skills.
 Develop skills for self-enhancement and interpersonal relationships.
 Acquire self-awareness on the importance of good manners or etiquette regularly and constantly
until it becomes a part of their habit.
 Show courtesy and kindness to others as constantly as possible.
 The topic will revolve around Social Graces and Etiquette.
 This will be the suggested flow of discussion for Social Graces At Home, In the Classroom, & In
the Comfort Room and Social Etiquette.
o Start this session by distributing Student Worksheet # 4 to the class. Instruct students to
answer the exercise provided therein.
o Note that the exercise is just a quick check-up on the students’ manners when they are at
home and in school. Discuss that the exercise does not necessarily require correct answers.
Note that whatever results that this exercise may bring should not be used against a particular
individual.
o The instructor may opt to discuss the results of the exercise or just keep its results.
 o Afterwards, challenge students to define and differentiate manners and etiquette.
State to the class that manners, according to Webster, are the social or rules of conduct as shown in
the prevalent customs, habitual deportment especially with reference to polite conversations.
Etiquette, on the other hand, refers to an act of rules living in our society. These are the rules which
make us more comfortable and reflect a feeling of what is right toward others.
Facilitate students’ understanding by asking them to answer this question:

“Do you believe that good manners should develop when an individual is on his early
childhood? Why?”

Explain to the class that if there is one place where good manners should be first introduced and
learned by an individual, it would be his HOME. It should be clarified that the HOME should be taken
out of its structural/functional context. A home, according to its sociological context, is mainly
comprised of a family.
Using the topic slides (Page 1 of 15), discuss social graces at home, in school and in the comfort
room.
Introduce the continuation of the topic to the class by asking students to define social etiquette.
Instruct them to write their definitions on the board.
Below is the formal definition of social etiquette.

Social Etiquette – refers to an action that project respect when dealing with elements in the society.

Social Graces at Home, In the Classroom, and In the Comfort Room

 At Home
 Do’s
 Greet family members appropriately when you come out of your room every morning.
 Demonstrate the following:
• Good grooming
• Thoughtfulness
• Proper use of eating utensils
• Respect for God’s grace
• Always reply courteously to elders.
• Always use sorry, excuse me, and please at appropriate circumstances.
 Don’ts
  Enter closed doors without knocking first.
 Open your parents’ drawers or bags without permission.
 Use other’s belongings like soap, towel, comb, etc.
 Quarrel over the breakfast table.
 Leave your bed in a mess.
 Interrupt conversations.
 Cough, yawn, or sneeze without covering your mouth with hand or handkerchief.
 Leave the bathroom in a mess.
 Squat in the toilet bowls.
 Stay too long over the telephone.

 In the Classroom

 When you see a teacher inside a classroom, wait outside and enter only when he/she had left. Or,
you may enter, provided that you show courtesy and respect.
 Use your spare time wisely. You could improve your grades by using your free time in the library
instead of chatting with your friends.
 If you see that some of your classmates are studying, be considerate. Do not do things that can
distract their attention.

 In the Comfort Room

 If you see a teacher/or an elderly, give way. It is an act of courtesy and respect.
 When you are combing your hair/applying powder on your face in front of a mirror, be sure to
provide some space for others.
 Do not write anything on the walls or doors of the comfort room.

Social Etiquette

The following are some examples of Social Etiquette:

 Always say “Good Morning”, “Good Afternoon” and “Good Evening”.
 Be prompt in offering a handshake.
 Immediately introduce yourself. If you speak in Filipino, always end your statement with
“po” and “opo.”
 Always wait to be seated. When asked to be seated, sit immediately. Kahiyaan will always
waste your time.
 Remember to smile when you are introduced. This will put another person in a comfortable
position.
 Offer handshakes and politely say goodbye when the meeting/group conference ends. End
with the words that signify continuance of relations such as:

 Until we meet again.

 Until our next meeting.
 Do keep in touch.
 It was nice talking to you.

 You can show attentiveness by shaking your head a bit if you agree with what the speaker is saying.
 Throw your questions politely so that the speaker can elaborate on the points that you do not
understand.
 If conflict/misunderstanding in the conversation occurs, it is best to clarify matters first before
saying your side that is contentious to the idea of the other speaker. For example:
 “Sir, is it okay to clarify matters before proceeding…”
 “Ginoo, medyo naguguluhan po ako, maari po bang linawin natin?”
 “Sir, naiintindihan ko po kayo. Subalit meron po akong suhestiyon, maari niyo po bang
pakinggan sandali?”

“Aside from home and school, what other places could you think of that you have to exhibit
desirable manners?”

Etiquette in Public Places

 On the Street
 Do not talk too loudly on the street or anywhere else (public places). Avoid staring at people,
calling a name in public unless it is absolutely unavoidable. Public display of affection (PDA) should
also be avoided.
 A gentleman should walk on the curb side of the pavement or on the lady’s left as he chooses.
 When friends approach each other, the one who recognizes the other should be the one to nod,
smile, or speak first.
 Taking Public or Private Vehicles
 In a vehicle, the gentleman should alight first and offer a hand to assist the lady.
  When a woman is escorted by a man, the lady should be the one to climb the bus first.

 In a Restaurant
 In entering a restaurant, the woman should go to the table first and then followed by the man.
 When a comfortable spot in the restaurant has been already chosen, either the waiter or the man
pulls out a chair as a sign of assisting the woman to take her seat.
 Ladies should avoid applying make-up on her face in public.
 When the dinner is over, kindly ask the waiter for the bill. Avoid making unnecessary gestures of
request.
 The woman should show some consideration to her partner by offering her money to pay a part of
their bill. If her partner insists to shoulder the expenses of their dinner, the woman is expected to
gratify him by saying “Thank you.”

 At the Opera, Concert Event or Theatre

 Latecomers are expected to settle at the back of the theatre so as not to disturb other viewers.
 When the national anthem is played in any place, all are expected to give proper respect by
standing straight or by singing the anthem.
 When a performance act is going on, unnecessary noise or sound must be avoided.
 As much as possible, avoid leaving the theater before the performance ends.

The Proper Wardrobe

This will be the suggested flow of discussion for Tips on Choosing a Wardrobe, Assembling a Basic Wardrobe
and Shopping Tips.

1. Start this session by asking the class to form a group that is composed of four members. Afterwards, instruct
each group to write down the questions below:

1.1 Has my body size, weight, height and proportion changed?

1.2 Has my lifestyle changed?
1.3 How much time do I devote to organize my wardrobe?
1.4 Do I have any limitations (e.g. financial and time constraints, availability of materials) in buying clothes?
1.5 Do I frequently express my adaptation to every season’s fashion trends without sacrificing my personal fashion
statement?
1.6 What impression/s do I want to convey whenever I choose my clothes?
2. Give them at least five minutes to answer the questions above. Afterwards, instruct each group to consolidate
their answers. Each group will be given two minutes to present their outputs in front of the class (it is expected that
each group has already assigned its representative before consolidating the outputs).
3. The instructor may also introduce the topic/s to the class by writing this quotation on the board:
“The way we dress has a remarkable impact on the people we meet and greatly affects how they treat us.”
- John T. Molloy (author of New Dress for Success)

4. Test students’ understanding by challenging them to explain, in their own words, the meaning of Molloy’s
quotation. Let students think critically by asking probing questions like why, how, etc.
5. Ask students to share their favorite celebrities (whether in showbiz or in politics) whom they idolize in terms
of their fashion/clothing styles. Let them also identify what made them like their fashion statements.
6. State that just like all other endeavors in life, there are pointers that must be considered in choosing an
appropriate and sound wardrobe. Using the topic slides (Page 4 of 15), discuss the eight pointers that must be
considered in choosing a wardrobe.
7. After discussing a few tips on choosing a proper wardrobe, state to the class that the main reason why some
people have limited wardrobe in their closet is because of financial/economic reason. But tell them that there are
practical ways on how to cope with such type of financial constraint and one of them is by assembling a basic
wardrobe on a limited budget.
8. Using the topic slides (Page 5 of 15), discuss the three steps on how to assemble a wardrobe (on a limited
budget). Afterwards, discuss some shopping tips.

Tips on Choosing a Wardrobe

 Choose clothes that offer enough room for movement. After all, comfort should be the number one
consideration.
 Choose clothing brands that have good reputation when it comes to quality, practicality and good
workmanship.
 Sometimes, the price of the material is not an indicator of its quality. It is important to consider the
durability of its material.
 In choosing the clothing color and style, it is necessary to consider one’s skin color.
 For individuals who have fair to dark complexion, wear light/pastel color dresses. These colors
normally balance the complexion of the skin.
 For individuals who have light/white complexion, they can wear dark color dresses. Dark colors
enhance the complexion of the skin.
 One’s type of personality should also be taken into consideration in choosing the proper wardrobe.
 For individuals who have shy and retiring personalities, they are advised to wear light-colored
 dresses. Such types of dresses make these individuals feel secure and confident.
 For individuals who possess dynamic and aggressive personalities, they may wear dark-colored clothing.
 Wear clothes according to occasion. For example, office clothes should be more conservative and corporate-like.
On the other hand, wear slight formal to comfortable clothes for social occasions. The time and type of occasion
should also be taken into account.
 Formal occasion: debut, wedding anniversaries, dinner date
 Formal wardrobe for men: barong tagalog and slacks, leather shoes (brown or black), coat and tie, etc.
Semi-formal occasion: birthdays, baptism
For men: polo shirt, slacks, topsider/leather shoes
For women: blouse and skirt/tailored pants and blouse

Informal occasion: casual clothes such as round neck shirts, rugged pants with rubber shoes
Wear clothes according to body type and size.
 For petite women, they are advised to keep things in proportion. They can also wear tailored pants and short
skirts. However, they should avoid wearing blouses with puffy sleeves. Their clothes should also be made of
light fabrics with light colors.
 For short and plump individuals, they are advised to wear medium length colored clothes. They should avoid
using two- color combination clothes with large print fabrics.
 For tall and slim women, they are advised to wear pencil slim long skirt and big puffy sleeves.
 For individuals who have long neck, they are advised to wear clothes with turtle neck or Chinese collar.
 For short necked individuals, they are suggested to wear long front neckline shirts (i.e. V-neck or Sabrina).
 Considering various clothing lines is also one of the essential points that should be taken into account in order
to achieve the so-called “slim look.” A line can be created by arrow of buttons, a lace, a seam, fancy stitches,
etc.
 Vertical line is a line which runs from head to toe. It creates an illusion of having a taller height. Having
vertical lines in any kind of clothing is ideal for plump individuals.
 Horizontal line, on the other hand, is a line which cut across from side to side. It primarily cuts height and adds
width. Contrasting colors in two-piece outfits create horizontal lines thus, decreasing the height. The longer the
unbroken area from the hem to the figure, the taller the individuals look.

Perfumes and Colognes

 When applying perfumes, it is advisable to apply them only to pulse points. These points include:
 Crook of elbows and back of knees
 Wrists
 Bosom
  Neck

 Do not rub wrists together. It crushes the scent of your perfume.

 Spray a small dose of perfume into the air and walk straight into the perfume. This technique ensures
that every part of your body will be saturated with perfume.
 Keep all your perfume/scent bottles tightly closed/locked, as well as far away from direct heat and
sunlight. Once you noticed your fragrance looks darker, it is not a scent that it used to be.

Grace, Poise and Posture

 Grace
Some describe it as a beauty. Others consider it as a quality that every man or woman wants.
 Poise and Posture
Poise is a state in which the body has the ability to maintain proper muscle tensions at all times
whether it is moving or in a static position.
Posture, on the other hand, relates to the dynamism of the body segments when doing certain
activities. There is a posture for standing, sitting, and walking. Other analysts describe posture as the
secret of regal work. A perfect posture, according to them, has the ability to make the individual
more attractive. Bad postures such as drooping shoulders, stomach out, back hunched, etc. may lead
to disfigurement.

It should be emphasized that some people may have good posture but bad poise. On the other hand,
there are some people who may have good poise but bad posture. Before we discuss the general
methods on how to have good standing, sitting, and walking postures, let us discuss a few corrective
posture measures first.

Good Appearance

Good appearance can be achieved by:

 keeping your face clean specifically keeping rheum (natural mucus discharge from the eyes) out of
your eyes;
 keeping your hair neat and properly trimmed;
 feeling odd can instantly affect your physical appearance;
 wearing a smile on your face enhances your overall appearance;
 keeping your hair dandruff-free (flakes).

Good Grooming
It is an activity to keep an individual’s good appearance. Good grooming must become a good habit to
maintain a positive appearance.

 Skin is one of every individual’s physical assets. Medically speaking, it is the largest organ of the
human body. The skin constitutes about 15% of the total body weight and its surface is vulnerable to
different kinds of microorganisms, sunlight, mechanical and chemical hazards (pollution).

 Types of Skin
 Normal. This skin type is generally healthy and has a good moisture balance, smooth and
unblemished, no pimples, whiteheads, blackheads, and other skin disorders.
 Dry. This skin type has wrinkles, presence of lines around the eyes, forehead and near the
mouth (laugh line).
 Oily. This type of skin is always shiny. It also has the presence of whiteheads, blackheads,
pimples and other skin disorders.
 Combination. This skin type is oily especially on the T-zone (from forehead, nose up to the
chin) and normal on the cheeks.

 Seven Commandments for Healthy Skin

 Eat a balanced and healthy diet every day.
 Sleep eight hours a night and take a nap at noon to enable the muscles to relax after a whole
day’s work.
 Eliminate body wastes regularly.
 Clean, tone and moisturize your skin with skin care products suited to your skin type.
 Give your skin a special treat once a week to remove stubborn dead cells.
 Never sleep without removing your make-up. Cream or foam cleanser is more preferable than
soap and water.
 Apply sun block lotion/cream before sunbathing. Too much exposure to sunlight can cause
premature wrinkling and even skin cancer.

 The right hairstyle can create a flattering frame for the face. The following are some tips on proper
hair care.
  Brush your hair with a short swift stroke before taking a bath to loosen dirt and dry scalp.
 Shampoo hair twice a week to avoid dryness. Use hair conditioners according to your skin
type.
 Brush hair before going to bed. Brush opposite the normal growth. Brushing massages the scalp
and stimulates oil glands.
 For dry hair, apply hot oil treatment at least once a week.
 Eat a well balanced diet.
 Avoid over exposure to sunlight.
 Avoid bathing too often in swimming pools. Chlorine causes hair dryness.

 Our face should be kept clean. Keeping the face clean means keeping the eyes, ears, nose and mouth
clean.

 Keeping the eyes clean means getting rid of the things that could irritate our eyes (or that could hinder
our clean vision).
 Keeping the ears clean means removing earwax regularly. Earwax should be safely removed after
each bath. Deep cleaning will hurt the ear. Use proper tools to clean the outer ear and the inner ear
closest to the ear opening. It is also important to scrub the back of the ear when taking a bath because
dirt can settle in the ear folds.

Telephone Etiquette

Telephone manners are very revealing. If you think people would not know you because they do not see you, then you
are wrong. Precisely because you are not seen on the phone, your language, voice and telephone manners become the
bases of judgment.

Telephone etiquette in the office

 answer the phone promptly
 the caller is expected to end the call
 put down the telephone receiver gently
 do not shout over the phone
 use a pleasant speaking voice
 listen carefully to the caller
 find the person the caller wants, direct the call to voice mail or take a message
If the person being called is not available:
 I’m sorry Mr./Ms. (name of the caller) but Mr./Ms. (name of the person being called) is currently out of the
office. This is (name of the person who received the call), how may I help you?
 (Name of the person being called) is out at the moment. But he/she is expected to be back at around 5:00
o’clock (or soon). This is (name of the person who received the call), how may I help you?

• Taking the message:

 Let me get your name (full name) and number and I’ll make sure that Mr./Ms. (name of the person being
called) gets your message.
 If you would like to leave a message, I will be happy to see that Mr./Ms. (name of the person being called)
receives it when he returns.

Repeating the relayed message:

 Let me repeat that to make sure I got it right. You are Mr./Ms. (name of the caller) of (name of his/her
company) and (message). Thank you for calling. Bye.
Putting the caller on hold:
 I will have to check if Mr./Ms. (name of the person being called) is available. Will you be able to hold? – wait
for the caller’s reply before hanging up
 He’s on the other line right now. Are you able to hold the line? Or would you prefer that he return your call?

• Concluding a call:
 Is there anything else Mr./Ms. (name of the caller)? Thank you for calling. It was nice to hear from you.
 Yes I’ll do that. Thank you for calling.