‭Adv. English Reading I [A] / Fall 2023‬ ‭Student No.

Name:‬

‭“The Great Conversation: Aristotle on Friendship”‬

‭by‬‭David L. Smith‬

‭[...]‬

‭Man is by nature a social animal whose inclination it is to live in the company of others.‬

‭Such is Aristotle’s premise in Book I of the‬‭Politics‬‭.‬

‭Something within us compels us to live in society with others. We are naturally bound to‬

‭form relationships with other people. What can we say about the social associations we‬

‭make? What does their nature say about us? Aristotle addresses these questions on‬

‭Friendship in Books 8 and 9 of his‬‭Nicomachean Ethics‬‭.‬‭According to Aristotle, there are‬

‭three types of friendships: those based on utility, those based on pleasure or delight, and‬

‭those grounded in‬‭virtue‬‭.‬

‭In the first type, friendship based on utility,‬‭people‬‭associate for their mutual‬

‭usefulness. These relationships are the most common. My mechanic is my friend‬

‭because it benefits me when my car is in the shop. I am his friend because he wants my‬

‭business. My coworker is my friend because the workday would be more painful if he‬

‭were not. My classmate is my friend because I learn more when we study together. This‬

‭type of friendship is, by nature,‬‭self-regarding‬‭and‬‭selfishly motivated, though‬‭mutually‬

‭satisfactory.‬

‭In the second type, people associate for the sake of sensual pleasure.‬‭We should‬

‭understand Aristotle’s use of “sensual” pleasure broadly: while physical types of pleasure‬

‭are included in this group, so is general pleasure or delight. The crazy guy who is a friend‬

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‭because he’s hilarious fits into this category; so does the person you’ve been partying‬

‭with; so do the people on your‬‭intramural‬‭soccer team.‬‭These are relationships one forms‬

‭to facilitate one’s own pleasure. Again, these are self-regarding or self-focused‬

‭relationships.‬

‭Aristotle is not narrow-minded‬‭or‬‭self-righteous‬‭when‬‭discussing these types of‬

‭relationships and in no way seeks to question participants in them. Indeed, he considers‬

‭many forms of them necessary: for instance, business relationships are necessary since‬

‭a single man is not economically‬‭self-sufficient‬‭.‬‭However, he admits their limitations,‬

‭both‬‭temporal‬‭and potential. On the one hand, temporally,‬‭friendships based on utility or‬

‭pleasure will end when their objects end. A business relationship will end when a better‬

‭one presents itself. A friendship with an exciting person will end if he becomes boring.‬

‭On the other hand, one may be uninterested in or blinded to the greater potential in a‬

‭person or relationship; one may neglect or overlook deeper or more important‬

‭potentialities‬‭. Aristotle qualitatively distinguishes‬‭these self-serving friendships from‬

‭selfless ones.‬

‭In contrast to the self-centered relationships described above,‬‭Aristotle‬‭delineates‬‭a‬

‭third type, those grounded in virtue:‬‭τελεια φιλια‬‭(teleia‬‭philia),‬‭fully-developed‬

‭friendship.‬‭This type completes the intended design‬‭or purpose of Friendship. This entity‬

‭is the‬‭final cause‬‭of friendship. Its participants‬‭necessarily share a set of values and‬

‭principles of an‬‭irreducibly‬‭moral nature:‬‭A‬‭wants‬‭for‬‭B‬‭what is good for‬‭B‬‭for the sake of‬

‭B‬‭. This is an essentially selfless relationship. Moreover,‬‭it is a constructive relationship.‬

‭Each friend, by his own qualities, helps to fully realize what is not only potentially in the‬

‭other but also realized in the other. He respects and honors and, therefore, sustains,‬

‭encourages, nurtures, supports, and celebrates what the other is and can become.‬

‭Temporarily, these relationships‬‭are not bound by‬‭maintenance of utility or pleasure but‬

‭are sustainable over a lifetime.‬

‭As you may suspect, these relationships are the most rare of friendships, as they require‬

‭virtuous‬‭participants to be realized. Should we despair,‬‭as most of us fall short of the‬

‭mark? Will only few such friendships ever form, given the‬‭rarity‬‭of the truly virtuous‬

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‭finding each other? The theoretical Aristotle might imply‬‭as much‬‭, but, above all,‬

‭Aristotle was a practical philosopher, and he offered this teaching to aid more than a few‬

‭moral elites. Even between friends of greatly differing quantitative degrees of virtue‬

‭(successful “execution” of a virtuous life), qualitative virtue (the desire for the other’s‬

‭good for the other’s sake) can be shared rather equally. Consider this paraphrased‬

‭example offered by Professor Daniel Robinson:‬

‭In a mutually agreed-upon relationship, two parties can bring in‬

‭quantitatively different virtues but desire the good of the other. Take the‬

‭musician and his audience. The musician‬‭invokes‬‭a‬‭lifetime of‬‭discipline‬‭,‬

‭and training and performs for the true enjoyment of the audience. The‬

‭audience, though deficient in the particular virtues of the musician, brings‬

‭enthusiasm, musical education, and love to the concert and wishes for the‬

‭best performance for the sake of the art and artist. In this way, people of‬

‭very different potentialities can join into a virtuous relationship.‬

‭Therefore, despite our particular shortcomings, if we bring disciplined, selfless love to‬

‭our relationships, we could all be members of the worthy few.‬

‭What can we take away from this lesson? First, try to realize, without judgment or shame,‬

‭into which categories our friendships fall. Do those friendships of utility or pleasure blind‬

‭us to the good in others or ourselves? Do they stunt our growth or that of our friend? Do‬

‭they handicap our ability to be as good as we can be? Second, where the answers to the‬

‭above are‬‭Yes‬‭, consider enacting a change. Finally,‬‭remember that a friendship grounded‬

‭in virtue is one of habitual decisions to‬‭eventuate‬‭good of the other. It’s a lifelong task,‬

‭but, luckily, those few flourishing relationships will permit the exercise‬‭.‬

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