October 2023

Becoming Whole
DAAJI

Art and
Slowing Down
SIDDHARTA
V. SHAH

Mindful Parenting
KAJAL GUPTA

Vital
Space-Making
MARY KERRIGAN

R TO
TE
how to
feel well
C LUT

CL
ARIT

www.heartfulnessmagazine.com
 CREATIVE TEAM

SUBSCRIBE TO Editorial Team — Elizabeth Denley, Vanessa Patel,

Kashish Kalwani, Christine Prisland, Mamata Let’s Talk
Heartfulness Subramanyam, Pankhi Chauhan

About
Design, Art & Photography — Uma Maheswari G.,

Magazine
Lakshmi Gaddam, Anagha Kulkarni, Jasmee Mudgal,
Ananya Patel

Mental
Writers — Ichak Adizes, Vedo Chatterjee, Daaji, Kajal
Gupta, Mary Karrigan, Paridhi Singh, Thomas Stanley
Interviewees — Siddhartha V. Shah, Mamata

Well-being
Subramanyam, Acharya Shree Varma
Support Team — Balaji Iyer, Subash Kannan, Karthik
Natarajan, Ashraful Nobi, Jayakumar Parthasarathy,
Nabhish Tyagi, Shankar Vasudevan

ISSN 2455-7684
Dear readers,
CONTRIBUTIONS
contributions@heartfulnessmagazine.com
October 10 is World Mental Health Day, to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world
ADVERTISING
advertising@heartfulnessmagazine.com and mobilize efforts. Yet, in many cultures today, mental well-being is still a taboo subject. In others, it
is acknowledged, but not always well understood – approached only as the remedial treatment of mental
SUBSCRIPTIONS
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All rights reserved.
Yoga, Ayurveda, TCM, and other ancient traditions have a different approach to mental well-being.
What do we have to learn from them? First, they treat mind, emotions, and body together, not in
separate disciplines. Second, they treat each function according to its nature: the physical body with food,
exercise, daily routines, medicines, and body work, and the mind and emotions with energy practices at
progressively subtler levels. Third, mental well-being is seen as a progressive journey toward higher and
higher states of wholeness and expansion of consciousness.
In this edition, Daaji offers tips on becoming whole, and also on creating a healthy environment for young
people’s mental well-being. Acharya Shree Varma explains the simplicity of the Ayurvedic approach
to mental wellness. Siddhartha V. Shah describes the healing effect of slowing down with art. Thomas
Stanley celebrates the positive benefits of decluttering our homes, and Mary Kerrigan the value of vital
space-making. Vedo Chatterjee experiments with being present, and Mamata Subramanyam with shining
the inner light. Ichak Adizes explores the effect of early experiences on our current mental state, Paridhi
Singh on success and burnout, and Kajal Gupta gives us 5 tips for mindful parenting.

What will you do today to take your mental well-being to the next level? Remember to share your stories
heartfulnessmagazine.com/subscribe with us.

Happy reading,
The editors

H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3
 inside
self-care workplace environment
Becoming Whole On Being a Narcissist From Clutter to Clarity
Daaji Ichak Adizes Thomas Stanley
12 44 66

Being Present When Success Fails

Vedo Chatterjee Paridhi Singh
creativity
20 46

Shining Your Inner Light Art, Healing, and Slowing

Mamata Subramanyam
interviewed by Mallika Reddy
relationships Down
Siddhartha V. Shah interiewed by
23 Vanessa Patel
5 Easy Tips for Mindful 74
Parenting

inspiration Kajal Gupta

54 what's up
Youth Are the Future It's All Different Now
82
Daaji Mary Karrigan
30 58

Mental Well-being and

Ayurveda
Shree Varma interviewed by
Marion Marceau
37

6 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 7

DAAJI
Daaji is the Heartfulness
Guide. He is an innovator and
researcher, equally at home in the
fields of spirituality, science, and
the evolution of consciousness.
He has taken our understanding
of human potential to a new
level.
ICHAK ADIZES
Dr. Adizes is a leading
management expert. He has
received 21 honorary doctorates
and is the author of 27 books
that have been translated into 36
languages. He is recognized as
one of the top 30 thought leaders
of America.
8 H eart f u l n es s
SHREE VARMA
Acharya Shree Varma, also
known as Dr. Krishna Varma,
comes from a lineage of
Ayurvedic doctors who have been
practicing for over four centuries.
With a vision to share this
wisdom with the wider humanity,
he founded the Shree Varma
Organization in 2001.
VEDO CHATTERJEE
Vedo’s roots are in India, and he
now lives in the UK. An engineer
by profession, he also enjoys
the great outdoors and nature's
beauty, and his personal practices
of Heartfulness Meditation and
restorative yoga.
SIDDHARTHA V. SHAH
Siddhartha is Director of the Mead
Art Museum at Amherst College,
overseeing collections, acquisitions,
exhibitions, and programs, and
deepening engagement with the
community. Shah is on the board of
the American Council for Southern
Asian Art and the Advisory Council
of the Anne Frank Center for
Mutual Respect.
THOMAS STANLEY
Thomas is a Psychology M.Sc.
and Heartfulness practitioner
based in Chester, UK. He is
interested in the fusion of
spirituality and psychology, and
tries to make intellectual topics
understandable for a child.
MAMATA
SUBRAMANYAM
Mamata couples mental health
and meditation with her passion
for storytelling, using Instagram
as a space to build community.
Her 2016 TEDx presentation
has been viewed over 2.7 million
times. She is currently a freelance
social media and content
manager, and an editor and writer
for Heartfulness Magazine.
KAJAL GUPTA
Kajal is currently working in the
Clinical Trials industry and is
also a trained Life Coach. She
has a Ph.D. in Cardiovascular
Science and has done research
in Oncology, Cardio Metabolic
and Neuroscience. She is an avid
reader, and is passionate about
meditation, well-being, conscious
parenting, and finding joy in little
things.
contributors
PARIDHI SINGH
Paridhi is a lawyer, freelance
writer, and Heartfulness Yoga
and Meditation trainer based in
London.
VANESSA PATEL
Vanessa is a Heartfulness
practitioner, a Heartful
Communication facilitator,
and an editor of Heartfulness
Magazine. She lives in Baroda,
India, where she has worked
with schools and educators to
bring dynamic English language
programs to children of all ages.
Octo b er 2 02 3
MARY KERRIGAN
Mary helps people create vital
spaces full of light. She has worked
with leaders in the U.S., the
Middle East, and Ireland, and is a
chartered architect with more than
25 years engagement experience,
20 years in private practice,
and 15 years transformational
leadership in architecture,
regeneration, heritage, and peace
and community building.
ANANYA PATEL
Ananya is a designer and
illustrator who enjoys finding
dynamic ways to tell stories.
She works on projects with
social impact, and runs a youth
collective bringing innovative
design approaches to climate
action and gender equality.
9
You are whole and also part of larger and
larger circles of wholeness you many not
even know about. You are never alone.
And you already belong. You belong to
humanity. You belong to life. You belong
to this moment, this breath.

JON KABAT-ZINN

self-care
 S E LF-CARE

becoming
WHOLE DAAJI

D
ear friends,

The purpose of yoga is integration, starting with the integration of

body, mind, and soul. So I have been reflecting on the Integration
Quotient devised by Dr. Ichak Adizes, a leading management expert, to see
how it applies to us as individuals. His quotient looks like this:

{
External Integration
Success =
Internal Disintegration

Our success as individuals is reflected in our ability to be integrated,

whole. This manifests as things like peace of mind, happiness, balance and
moderation, career growth, integrity, etc. What holds us back is internal
disintegration, and this is reflected in inner turmoil, self-doubt, mistrust,
and destructive tendencies.

Octo b er 2 02 3 13
 S EL F-CARE S E LF-CARE

As a rule, energy is first directed toward resolving Character, behavior, and tendencies By developing these Yamas, we reduce internal whole is limitless. While this is an astounding
internal disintegration (the denominator), and disintegration and the energy needed to maintain achievement, it is not all.
only after that does leftover energy flow toward How can we better understand this from a it. In fact, the adoption of the Yamas will naturally
external integration (the numerator). For example, behavioral perspective? The first two limbs of bring the denominator toward zero, meaning that We can also work on the numerator, by adopting
when we are ill or emotionally disturbed, we Ashtanga Yoga are Yama and Niyama. Yama just through this one limb our ability to become the five Niyamas of:
have little energy for innovation and creativity. means to remove unwanted character traits and
When we reduce internal disintegration, energy tendencies, while Niyama means to cultivate
is available for integration and success. Generally, noble character traits and tendencies.
the greater the value of the quotient, the better
chance we have of being happy and healthy, The five Yamas are: Shaucha
while the smaller the value of the quotient, the
the cultivation of
greater the internal disintegration and the more
purity of body and
disturbance there is.
mind
Ishwara
Ahimsa Pranidhana Santosha
the removal of violence, the cultivation of the cultivation of
forceful tendencies, and surrender to God contentment and
imposition so that love inner happiness
remains

Aparigraha Satya

Niyama

n ci e s
the removal of the removal of

the cu
possessiveness distortion so
so that generosity that truth and
remains authenticity

nde
Yama
remain

ltiv

te
at

d
iv

an
ti
it s

a
on
the

i ts
of a
tra

nob r tr
l e c h a ra c t e
re

ov
er
m

c t
al
Brahmacharya of ra Swadhyaya Tapas
u n w a nte d ch a Asteya
the removal of the removal of the the cultivation of the cultivation of
sensory imbalances habit of stealing from self-awareness and shining simplicity
and excesses so that others so that a giving continuous improvement through self-discipline
moderation remains nature remains through self-study

14 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 15
 SEL F-CARE
These Yamas and Niyamas can only really be As we start to work on our
practiced in our relationships with others in
everyday life. They are not for ascetics who behavior, we become skilled at
renounce society and worldly life.
subtler forms of violence,
When we look at the Adizes Quotient in
this light, we can replace the Niyamas in the
thinking that we have
numerator and the Yamas in the denominator. overcome it when really we are
In other words, to reduce the denominator and
increase the numerator for maximum integration, just more potent antagonists!
we can say:
{ is a stepwise progression,
Saucha + Santosha + Tapas + Swadhyaya + Ishwara Pranidhana
Success =
Ahimsa + Satya + Asteya + Brahmacharya + Aparigraha
How to cultivate the Yamas and
Niyamas?
But then comes the challenging part. How to
cultivate these Yamas and Niyamas? Let’s take
the first Yama, non-violence. Is it easy to remove
violence from every situation? Violence doesn’t
just mean killing, it also means getting irritated
by another person and snapping at them, or
passively-aggressively ignoring a person when
you don’t like them or they disagree with you.
As we start to work on our behavior, we become
skilled at subtler forms of violence, thinking that
we have overcome it when really we are just more
potent antagonists!
The second Yama, truthfulness, is a tricky one,
because there are as many universes as there
are people – we all have our own perception
and awareness of truth. We don’t actually reach
a stage of Absolute Truth until far along the
spiritual journey, when all the colorings or layers
are removed from view. This Yama is totally
16 H eart f u l n es s
dependent on spiritual practice and the resulting
expansion of awareness.
With the third Yama, non-stealing, most of us
would say, “I don’t steal,” but when we reflect we
realize that it impacts many aspects of our lives.
For example, our current environmental crisis,
climate change, and the mass extinction of species
are a result of our stealing from Mother Earth
without restraint.
Osho challenges us by saying that most of us are
stealing most of the time. It may not be money,
land, or possessions – we steal other people’s
thoughts and words. He says that most of our
knowledge and opinions are stolen.
The first Guide of Heartfulness, Lalaji, says,
“Taking more than what is rightful is also
stealing. If we hoard something that is not useful
in the present, but we keep it for the future, that
is also stealing, because it may be useful and
necessary to someone else when it is useless to us.
Collecting for the future more than is necessary
for the present is also stealing.”
And Swami Vivekananda writes, “Receiving is just
as bad as stealing, because when receiving gifts
the mind is acted upon by the giver, destroying
the independence of the mind of the receiver.”
Major industries rely on this stealing mentality;
for example the world of fashion relies on us
wanting to look like someone else by wearing the
same clothes or having the same hairstyle.
But non-stealing is only the beginning. We can
also move to the next level of this principle –
generosity and a giving nature. For example, when
we are empathetic, compassionate, loving, and
when we give more than we receive, we will also
be more helpful.
Octo b er 2 02 3
S E LF-CARE
With spiritual practice,
we may reach a stage
where there is no longer
any pull of the senses,
and this is known as
Uparati. As with
everything in yoga, there
beginning with restraint
and self-discipline and
arriving at the effortless
and joyful freedom of
Uparati.
The fourth Yama is moderation of the senses
and sensual tendencies. Given that we interact
with the world through our senses, it is involved
in everything that we think, feel, and do.
Brahmacharya is about purity of intention and
conservation of energy. And sensuality is not only
associated with sex. Our senses can be stimulated
by food, clothes, drugs, digital technology, or
any other pursuit that leads to desire-based
indulgence. It refers to moderation in all areas of
life.
With spiritual practice, we may reach a stage
where there is no longer any pull of the senses,
and this is known as Uparati. As with everything
in yoga, there is a stepwise progression, beginning
with restraint and self-discipline and arriving at
the effortless and joyful freedom of Uparati.
17
 SEL F-CARE
Moderation has a direct effect on our level of
happiness, because the spectrum of happiness to
sadness is within the sensory realm. Happiness
is indirectly proportionate to the number of
desires we have, and the intensity of those desires.
Desires are created by the pull of the senses,
and by how much we allow sensuality to remain
unchecked. Yet, through Brahmacharya, the senses
can become an ally instead of a hindrance.
A person who has reached a high level of
moderation has an extremely light footprint
on the Earth, and does not disturb anything
or anyone unnecessarily. Their tone of speech
becomes moderate, as do their moods,
relationships, way of eating, sleeping, walking,
working, and playing. There is no need to
talk about work-life balance or go on diets to
promote healthy eating, and there is no addiction.
Everything takes its rightful place.
The fifth Yama is non-possessiveness, the
principle of taking and using only what is
needed. It involves self-restraint, and avoiding
overindulgence, covetousness, and greed. Another
definition is to give more than you receive. It is to
live in the consciousness of abundance instead of
scarcity. It means to be content with whatever the
universe provides.
These five Yamas are designed to remove internal
disintegration, bringing the denominator of the
Integration Quotient close to zero. For this, a
regular spiritual practice is vital, and in particular
the practice of Cleaning, which purifies the mind
of all the subconscious programs that lead to
internal disintegration.
Turning to the numerator of the Integration
Quotient, we come to the Niyamas. The first
is cleanliness and purity. Purity is the essence
of inner transformation. Inner purity leads to
18 H eart f u l n es s
S E LF-CARE
happiness, concentration, and mastery of the Self-study is the cornerstone of psychology. It
senses. is based on the wonder of exploring the inner
universe. It is also the way to reach the Divine,
The second Niyama is contentment and inner implying that the Divine is within us. When
happiness. Contentment is complete and natural we witness all the dimensions of our being,
acceptance of whatever is happening. It is a first the work of the Yamas and Niyamas becomes
step to creating a neutral starting point in any effortless, because we see what needs to be
situation from which to move forward, even when removed and what needs to be cultivated. Our
change is required. habits are gradually exposed, even those that are
programmed deep within the subconscious. In
The remaining three Niyamas – refinement self-study, we shine the light from our Center
through self-discipline, self-study, and surrender outward, illuminating every aspect of our
to God – are known as Kriya Yoga or yoga in character.
action. Having worked to change our thought
patterns, the results now start to express in action. With the last Niyama, surrender to God, we
remain in constant osmosis with God. Whether
Self-discipline is the process of continuously we are awake or asleep, aware or unaware, active
refining ourselves to become the best we can or passive, we remain in this state. In yoga the
be. It is our trajectory toward a simple life, an concept of surrender is very positive – we are held,
uncomplicated life, wrapped in love, starting with protected, and supported like a newborn babe in
self-love and culminating in becoming love itself. her mother’s arms. It is a liberating, carefree state.
When we offer all the fruits of our work to God,
we are at peace. We take neither credit nor blame
Self-discipline is the onto ourselves, as both are surrendered to God.
process of continuously When we have studied ourselves, purified
ourselves, and refined ourselves, surrender is very
refining ourselves to simple. It is the ultimate quality, the culmination
of the other qualities. The roots of enlightenment
become the best we can arise in absolute surrender.
be. It is our trajectory
The development of all these qualities is possible
toward a simple life, an through Heartfulness meditative practices. You
may even say it happens automatically when yogic
uncomplicated life, Transmission is present, although efforts and
interest are required. I hope you will try it for
wrapped in love, starting yourself and experience what unfolds. It is a sure
The roots of method for individual and communal integration
with self-love and
and evolution, bringing joy and purpose to life.
enlightenment arise in
culminating in becoming
absolute surrender. With love and respect,
love itself. Daaji
Octo b er 2 02 3 19

Present
VEDO CHATTERJEE is on a journey to experience what it means to
be truly present in the moment. He shares the pitfalls and triumphs
along the way, and his current learnings as a “work in progress.”
W By understanding
ith an air of
professional calm, the
therapist asked Ed to
pick out five things in the room.
Nervously scanning the room, Ed
identified the desk, a plant, the
coffee machine, the computer,
and a stuffed toy. Though the task
seemed odd, he noticed the details
of the room more than he had
ever done before. He realized the
purpose of this exercise was to
pull him into the present moment,
albeit in a dry and procedural
manner.
Halfway across the world, Maya
was asked to close her eyes and
remember a cherished moment.
20
Being
She picked a day when her mom
had hugged her despite a colossal
mess-up. The memory had
assumed greater significance over
time, and she always felt safe when
she remembered that day. The
act of recalling and revisiting the
memory was meant to change her
emotional state in the present, by
accessing love and joy she had felt
in the past.
These accounts suggest a
certain degree of complexity in
the interplay of our emotions,
motivations, and perception of
time.
H eart f u l n es s
And that raises a question:
what does it truly mean to “be
present”? The essence might
lie in the directing of our
attention. Attention exists in
the present moment, even when
it relates to past experiences or
future thoughts. We focus our
attention using the energy that is
available to us at any given time.
Then, perhaps energy is that
fundamental irreducible aspect
of our experience, which is truly
rooted in the present moment.
Imagine an ideal state where we’re
energized and paying attention to
matters that positively affect our
life in the present, crafting a more
S E LF-CARE
Control, despite its negative
connotations, is an important
aspect of our lives. Some amount
of control is necessary to guide us
toward our aspirations. It allows
us to align with our dreams and
goals. When we lose control, we
lose the ability to steer our life
in the direction we desire. It can
send us off the rails, giving rise to
emotional disturbance, opening
the door for past regrets, future
fears, and a general lack of energy,
due to its dissipation in multiple
directions.
Being present, in the way I want
to be, has proven difficult many
times in life. I can only suggest
what might be valuable, based on
my personal experiences. Limiting
the importance of
energy, emotions,
control, and the
general sense of
my life’s narrative, I
desirable future. We all know that life is more complicated than that.
Many of us feel stuck in the past, as it is still affecting us. Our attempts am able to enrich
to regain control over an event we couldn’t control is what we classically
know as “living in the past.” The complex emotions that develop from the
the issue and find
lack of control that was experienced may be hard to navigate. And this helpful pathways
can develop into an intense distrust and fear of being hurt again in the
future. The difficult emotions, in order to protect us, can keep traveling to along other
the past or running into the future, seeking closure. We continue with life
as if being controlled by what we could not control. dimensions.
Octo b er 2 02 3 21
SEL F -CAR E

the idea to a temporal construct

imposed upon the contents of the
mind is restrictive. Being obsessed Shining
Your Inner Light
with the occupations of the mind
only imprisons me in a vicious
cycle of mental activity.

By understanding the importance

of energy, emotions, control, and
the general sense of my life’s
narrative, I am able to enrich the
issue and find helpful pathways
along other dimensions. By
devoting my energy to the things
that matter, and the people I
love, I may experience positive
emotions.

Positive emotions help me connect

with my energy, allowing me to
find expression and meaning. I
am slowly learning to give myself
more readily to the present
moment, without being pulled in
different directions. The process
can be painfully slow.

Although my life’s journey

has brought me to the present
moment, being fully present in
that moment is itself a journey!

Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM

Positive emotions help me connect with

my energy, allowing me to find
expression and meaning. I am slowly MALLIKA REDDY is the Founder of Canceled Plans, a sustainable
clothing line and top podcast in India. In one episode with
learning to give myself more readily to MAMATA SUBRAMANYAM, the two of them discuss the importance
of mental wellness, tools to strengthen mental fitness, and the
the present moment, without being importance of taking responsibility for your own light.

pulled in different directions.

22 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 23
SEL F -CAR E
Q: Hi Mamata, a while back,
you were on a one-way path to
becoming a doctor (your family
is full of medical professionals),
but that didn’t happen. It was a
canceled plan.
Yeah, that’s been my biggest
canceled plan, because for so long
that was the one-way trajectory I
was on. Everyone thought I was
going to be a doctor. I thought
I was going to be a doctor, even
though I didn’t want to be one.
Halfway through college, I wasn’t
doing well in pre-med classes, and
it was not because I didn’t have the
interest or the intelligence to do
well. My own mental health issues
plus not being naturally good at
those subjects was a combination
for disaster.
I’m grateful to my mom, who
saw me struggling and saw that it
wasn’t what I wanted to do. She
said, “Okay, maybe you should
try something different.” There
were a lot of disappointed people,
including me, as it was who I
thought I was supposed to be
for a long time. That vision was
molded by so many people, and
it was all I knew as my identity. I
still struggle, because it derailed
everything.
Q: That couldn’t have been
easy. How did you navigate that
decision? You said you were
24
struggling with mental health
back then.
As a child raised in the U.S. with
immigrant parents, there is a part
of me that is built to become my
parents' dreams. That is not at all
a knock against immigrant parents
in the U.S. with dreams, but it’s
a lot of pressure on them and
their kids. We’re finally getting
to a place where society has
language for it. Back then, I was
so compliant, and even the idea
of stepping out of that shell was
terrifying, because it had been an
unsafe comfort zone for so long.
I’ve dealt with anxiety for most
of my life. I now know that a lot
of that anxiety has to do with
the people pleasing mentality I
have, whether because of things
that happened to me as a child
or because of my own inherent
nature. If I don’t do what I think
others want me to do, I feel myself
internally collapsing, and that
causes my anxiety levels to go
through the roof. On top of that,
I didn’t know a world outside of
medicine. Even though I stepped
into a degree I really loved, I didn’t
know which direction to go, or
who I was.
Q: Thanks for sharing that so
honestly with vulnerability. It is
taken for granted how easily
that comes out, but it’s hard to
H eart f u l n es s
say when people are listening.
You have clearly done a lot of
inner work, because it shows in
the kind of self-awareness you
have when you speak.
What has been your journey to
make mental health a priority
and take care of yourself? And
how did meditation come into
your life?
I started to really consider my
mental health when I moved to
New York in 2015. I didn’t have
words for the intense panic attacks
I had at work. There were a lot of
things going on in my personal
life, and it was reflecting at work.
I went on big emotional rants to
my friends about the feelings I was
having. I really didn’t understand
until recently that the reason I
vented so much to my corner of
trust was because I thought it
would heal me. They would give
me a solution, or this person or
that relationship (no matter how
toxic) would heal me.
I didn’t realize what I know now,
which is that even when someone
else does the damage, the power
was always mine to begin with.
The light was always within me.
Even though it is unfair that
someone else or circumstances
damaged me, there is something
empowering about owning the
responsibility to take back and
strengthen the light. First it
shines inwardly, then it can shine
elsewhere. It’s actually taken me
until this year, until marriage, to
realize that.
When someone breaks an arm,
hits their head, or cuts themselves,
it is okay for them to talk about
it over and over again. But if you
say, “I feel anxious,” or “I’m dealing
with depression,” everybody
cringes. They can listen for a few
minutes, but then it’s too much.
After getting myself out of some
really unhealthy spaces, I knew I
had the tool of meditation, which
I’d taken for granted. I was born
and raised in the Heartfulness
meditation tradition, and I
always knew it was going to be a
cornerstone in my life, but I didn’t
use it the way I could have.
Once I hit rock bottom, though, I
knew that to take care of myself.
I had to practice what I was
preaching. I needed to apply the
meditation practice to myself
before teaching it to others (I I’ve dealt with anxiety for most of my life.
became a trainer in 2015). So,
taking care of my mental health I now know that a lot of that anxiety has
in combination with meditation
became critical to me.
to do with the people pleasing mentality I
have, whether because of things that
So many people have said to me,
“You talk too much about your happened to me as a child or because of
anxiety,” “You talk too much about
your mental health.” It affected my own inherent nature.
Octo b er 2 02 3 25

me so much that I almost stopped
talking about it. But if I stop
talking about something that
needs to be talked about, that’s one
less person to advocate. I sound
annoying and sometimes I’m on
a soapbox, but it’s something that
needs to be advocated for.
I recognize the privilege of all
of this; of being in a position to
potentially be a doctor, having the
support of my parents, etc. But,
despite the privilege, I’ve learned
that it’s okay to struggle and be
figuring myself out, especially if
what’s going on in my head isn’t
aligning with what needs to be.
Q: What advice do you have for
someone who is struggling with
mental health, with anxiety, with
being in the world?
The best lesson I’ve learned this last year
is to show up for myself. You are your
own friend. The same way you show up
for anyone else, you must show up for
yourself. The beauty in that is you return
back to your own light that has always
been there; you just have to remind
yourself of that.
26 H eart f u l n es s
Something that drives me nuts
is when a friend, a loved one, or
anybody says, “Oh, it’ll all work
out,” or “It’ll just be fine,” or
“Everything happens for a reason,”
when I express how I feel. Those
things might be true, but it doesn’t
stop the stress, the frustration,
or the loneliness in the moment.
While your experiences with
breakdowns and rock bottoms
may be different from someone
else’s, your feelings are valid. It is
terrifying and lonely, and very few
people really understand what you
are going through.
But one person is always going to
understand, and that’s you! The
best lesson I’ve learned this last
year is to show up for myself. You
are your own friend. The same way
you show up for anyone else, you
Octo b er 2 02 3
S E LF-CARE
must show up for yourself. The
beauty in that is you return back
to your own light that has always
been there; you just have to remind
yourself of that.
Help for everyone looks different.
I did therapy for a long time and
it really made a difference, and
journaling, going for walks, and
meditation have helped me, but
they might not be for everyone.
So, find the things that you like.
Be willing to do the work. Be
willing to set promises for yourself
and keep them, because the only
person who’s going to suffer
otherwise is yourself.
There are many days that are hard;
it can be hard even to get out of
bed and function. Those things are
valid, too. On those days, keep at
least one small promise to yourself,
whether it’s making a cup of tea,
writing in your journal, or going
for a walk. Find a way every day to
stay connected to yourself.
Q: That’s great advice, thank you.
It’s going to help a lot of people
understand what their options
are, and the little things they can
do to get started.
To listen to the full episode, visit
https://open.spotify.com/episode/77
2Ab2SsGdM2nWR2BFbZis?si=c7d8b4d
0ec564050
Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM
27
inspiration
Ayurveda has a very deep
understanding of the mind.
So treating emotional
challenges is easy with
Ayurveda and yoga.

ACHARYA SHREE VARMA

Illustration by JASMEE MUDGAL

 THE WISDOM BRIDGE SERIES
I N S P I RATIO N

Youth Are the Future

Guide Them,
T
here is an old engineer’s The biggest strength of youth aspiration that should drive

Don’t Break Them

lament, “Between seeing
the glass half full or
half empty there is also the
possibility of the glass being
In September 2022, DAAJI released his bestseller, The Wisdom Bridge, and designed for twice the capacity.”
throughout 2023 we are sharing highlights from the various chapters to give you When the energy of the youth
a taste of the practical wisdom the book offers. This month the excerpt is from is guided by the elders’ wisdom,
chapter 18 on Principle 7: Youth Are the Future. Guide Them, Don’t Break Them. new perspectives emerge.
Youth are not wild horses to be
tamed by breaking them down.
They need to be inspired and
unleashed as a force for good.
is their energy. Their energy them?
is what makes them creative.
There is no turning off the fire. It should be how to become
There is no hibernating through gentle, how to become loving,
this phase of life. When the how to become wise. Volunteer
youthful energies are guided work, meditation, mentoring by
in the right direction, such elders all help the youth in their
energy becomes creative energy. development.
The energy of youth is not for
rambunctiousness. It should
be a period of vigorous activity
with aspiration. What is this

Parenting Tip: Flexibility in Ideas

When children are between six to ten years old, their intuitive
ability is active, and the reason for that is that their minds are
flexible. Outside a tantrum here and there, children don’t arrive at
rigid conclusions and insist “this is how it should be.”

As they grow up, their worldview becomes more set. For example,
it’s easier to instill interests in little children. If a child doesn’t
like math, then through games and activities, math can be made
fun. However, as children grow up, it becomes difficult to steer
their interests. They have already made up their mind about
their preferences. So, parents need to be creative and have more
patience.

Octo b er 2 02 3 31

The Teenage Brain Is a
Work in Progress
For all the promise and potential
youth have, elders often think
of them, especially teenagers, as
raging hormones, rebels without
a cause, and reckless idiots. Why
is this so? Why are the teenage
years so turbulent? Some of the
answers lie in the physiology of
the human brain itself.
At the risk of simplifying
neuroscience, I am sharing
some insights that may help us
understand what’s happening
with a teenager’s brain. The
brains of teenagers are still
developing. By developing, I
mean their brains are focused
on finalizing what neural
connections they need to keep
and which ones to prune. This
process of synaptic pruning is a
natural part of growth. When
we are born, we have an excess
of connections, and over time
the brain prunes away the excess.
32
How does the brain decide
which connections to keep and
which ones to prune away?
The decision is based on the
life experiences gathered till
that time. For example, as a
child, if you were into art, then
when you become an adult,
the neural circuits that were
formed will remain. This law is
known as Hebbian Learning.
When we learn something new,
neurons in our brain connect
with other neurons to form a
neural network. The more these
neurons fire, the stronger the
connection becomes, and the
action becomes increasingly
intuitive. Hebb’s Law has been
summed up in a single phrase:
“The neurons that fire together
wire together.”1, 2
Besides pruning, something
called myelination also takes
place in the teen brain.3 A fatty
substance called myelin coats
the tendrils (or axons) of the
brain cells. Myelination connects
H eart f u l n es s
“The neurons that
fire together wire
together.”
- Hebb's Law
various parts of the brain so
that information moves much
faster in the brain. Think of
myelination as upgrading from
muddy country roads to glasslike
autobahns, so your car can zip
through.
Myelination starts from the
back of the brain and gradually
makes its way forward. Now,
at the back of the brain are
the emotional and impulse
centers. They are myelinated
first. But the front of the brain,
the prefrontal cortex, is still
on country roads, and it takes
a few years for them to get
upgraded. The front area of
the brain is the voice of reason.
Decision-making, self-control,
rational thinking and faculties
associated with maturity are in
the prefrontal cortex. So, while
happiness, sorrow, excitement,
invincibility and other thrill-
seeking impulses are traveling
in the brain at warp speed,
decision-making and self-
control are moving slower. This
explains why teenagers end up
doing what seems incoherent to
an adult. For a moment, think
about your antics as a teenager.
I’m sure many things will pop
up that make you wonder,
What was I even thinking? The
physiological reason for teens
behaving in illogical ways is a
result of how their developing
brain is processing the world.
One may think that myelination
from back to front is a flaw. But
it’s in line with our evolution.
As a hunter-gatherer, the fight
or flight impulse dominated
our existence. Swift decisions
on whether to run from the
sabretooth tiger or fight back
needed split-second emotional
About 70 percent
of mental
illnesses, including
anxiety, eating
and mood
disorders, and
depression appear
first during the
teen years and
early adulthood.
impulses. The development of
the prefrontal cortex came much
later, as human beings evolved
and established themselves at
the top of the food chain.
Studies show that the teenage
years are also a time of
vulnerability. About 70 percent
of mental illnesses, including
anxiety, eating and mood
disorders, and depression appear
first during the teen years and
early adulthood. This is also
the time when youth have the
highest propensity to get hooked
on drugs and develop addictive
behaviors. The reward circuits
of the brain are in full potency
and if mental and emotional
health are not good, then
teenagers become vulnerable.
Octo b er 2 02 3
I N S P I RATIO N
Also, deficiencies in the
development of the brain due to
trauma (for example, exposure
to neglect, violence, abuse,
homelessness) are often revealed
during the teenage years. A
traumatic childhood causes
the brain circuits responding
to stress to be well developed.
As a result, the impulses to
react and be aggressive are
also well developed. But the
compensatory circuits for self-
control and composure may not
be as well developed. So, it’s
possible that the child may need
help and counseling during their
teen years to correct some of
these tendencies.
With this understanding of
the teenage brain, here are
33
INS P I RAT IO N

some suggestions about how to
support your teenage children
during these times of promise
and pitfalls.
Recognize the Transition
and Facilitate the
Change
In cultures the world over, the
transition to youth is formally
recognized. Jewish people
celebrate the bar and bat
mitzvah. Parts of India celebrate
the Langa-Voni and Ritu Kala
samskara, Hispanics celebrate
quinceañera and quinceañero.
Each culture has its own
traditions and rituals where the
community comes together and
celebrates.
These rituals help teenagers
understand their responsibility
in the community. The
recognition by elders also helps
mold their sense of self.
Today, even though we
celebrate coming of age, in
many cases we’ve forgotten the
significance of these customs,
and sometimes over-the-
top celebrations overshadow
the importance of the event.
Coming of age is generally
associated with rights. The
right to drive, the right to vote,
the right to drink, and so on.
However, we don’t emphasize
the duties that come with age.
When rights and duties are
both duly acknowledged, the
transition from childhood to
youth is smoother. If not, then
adolescence is extended for a
much longer period. In such
cases, children may grow in
age but not in maturity. If they
don’t take responsibility in their
teenage years, it may become a
pattern for the rest of their lives.
Use a Light Touch and
Have Keen Eyes
When children are small, they
aspire to be like their fathers
and mothers. It’s natural. But
as children become teenagers,
most of them stop feeling that
way. Somewhere along the
way, the respect they have for
parents goes away. Teenagers,
still love their parents, but
parents need to start earning
respect again. They need to
evolve morally and spiritually to
continue to earn their teenager’s
respect. Teenagers appreciate
authenticity. They are idealistic
and look up to people who are
authentic.

As a parent, share your successes

and your failures with your
teenager. Once my boys came to
me asking for some advice on a
business clause. I reviewed the
language and told them that in But as children become teenagers,
my days I would sign contracts
with much more lenient terms. most of them stop feeling that way.
When rights and I asked them to consult an
investor friend of mine for a Somewhere along the way, the respect
duties are both duly professional opinion. I also told
they have for parents goes away.
them stories of the many ways in
acknowledged, the which I lost money in business. Teenagers, still love their parents, but
I could see that they liked the
transition from conversation, and I could also parents need to start earning respect
see how they both would muse
childhood to youth is about all my mistakes later on. again. They need to evolve morally and
smoother. spiritually to continue to earn their
Our teenagers are not looking
for perfection. They are looking teenager’s respect.
for authenticity and love. As
parents, when we embrace our

34 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 35
INS P I R AT IO N

vulnerabilities, acknowledge our

errors, and share life lessons,
Mental Well-Being
and Ayurveda
it deepens the connection
between our hearts. An honest
conversation with them about
what we may have done wrong
in the past and how it affected
our life will register much better
than a lecture on what is right
and wrong.

Who likes being corrected all

the time? When our flaws are
pointed out, it hurts. Youth
are no exception. It helps to ACHARYA SHREE VARMA, also known
be very subtle with them. as DR. KRISHNA VARMA, comes from a
Find indirect ways to get your lineage of Ayurvedic doctors who have
message across. For example, been practicing for over four centuries.
share stories – beautiful stories, With a vision to share this wisdom with
inspiring stories. The problem the wider humanity, he founded the Shree
is that we have stopped reading Varma Organization in 2001. Here, he is
stories to them. Even when they interviewed by MARION MARCEAU from
are thirteen or eighteen, even the Heartfulness Yoga Academy about the
when they are thirty, share a nice Ayurvedic approach to mental health.
story. Share ideas that will make
them think. When you read a
profound message, share it with
Just share it and leave it at that. them with a lot of joy.
“Listen to this, how wonderful
Do not probe them after sharing, it is!”
Just share it and leave it at
and do not lecture them. that. Do not probe them after
sharing, and do not lecture
them.

Use a light touch and have keen

1
Hebb, D., 2005. The Organization of Behavior, 99th ed. Psychology Press,
eyes.
UK, Kindle.
2
Shatz, C.J., 1992. ‘The Developing Brain,’ Scientific American 267, no. 3:
Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL
60–67, https://doi.org/10.1038/scientificamerican0992-60.
3
Spear, L.P., 2013. ‘Adolescent Neurodevelopment,’ Journal of
Adolescent Health, 52, no. 2, Supple 2: s7–13, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.
jadohealth.2012.05.006.

36 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 37
INSP I RAT IO N
Q: Hello, Dr. Shree Varma,
welcome. Could you tell
us a little bit about your
background?
Happy to meet you, Marion.
I’m from the Durango tradition
and my birth village is on the
border of Tamil Nadu and the
Kerala Kanyakumari district
in South India. The family has
treated chronic ailments with
Ayurveda, yoga and varma
for nine generations, but I’m
the first university graduate
in Ayurvedic medicine in the
family. My father believed that
while Ayurveda has been proven
over centuries, he wanted me to
be qualified. So he sent me to
Chennai to Dr. MGR Medical
University to do a Bachelor of
Ayurveda Medicine and Surgery.
From that degree, I have the
title “acharya.”
We teach preventive healthcare
for a disease-free life,
maintaining positive health in
a healthy person, and curing
diseases with the help of
Ayurveda, yoga, and varma.
38
Q: What is the relationship
between yoga and
Ayurveda?
Ayurveda is not a medical
science alone. We say it is
shraddhayu – if someone has
the desire to live for 100 years
without disease, Ayurveda will
teach that philosophy and the
associated principles, and it has
three different dimensions.
The first is prevention: the
guidelines of dinacharya, the
daily regimen, and ritucharya,
the seasonal regimen. It speaks
about the principles of life,
how to start the day, how to
design your day. It prescribes a
healthy life. You get up one and
a half hours before sunrise and
start your day with breathing
practices. And it speaks about
meditation, and physical
exercise. So the first priority in
the morning is yoga to ensure a
healthy life of 100 years.
What is the definition of health
in Ayurveda? A blissful state of
body, mind, and soul.
H eart f u l n es s
We talk about equilibrium of the
energy in the physical doshas,
vata, pitta, and kapha; and
balancing the emotional doshas
for the mind, sattva, rajas, and
tamas. So, start your day with
yoga to lead a healthy life. That
is dinacharya, how to design
your day.
And ritucharya describes how
The first is to adjust the daily routine as the
seasons change – what to eat,
prevention: the how to drink, how to breathe,
how to keep your physical body
guidelines of and mind flexible, and your soul
peaceful. They decide your inner
dinacharya, the health. So Ayurveda and yoga
are absolutely interconnected.
daily regimen, and
ritucharya, the The first philosophy of
Ayurveda is preventive health
seasonal regimen. – yoga and meditation. The
second philosophy is about
It speaks about cures. For someone who doesn’t
practice yoga, doesn’t take care
the principles of of their body and mind, there
life, how to start is the possibility of disease due
to improper food, improper
the day, how to lifestyle, accidents, infections,
and heredity.
design your day. It
There are causative factors that
prescribes a produce toxins in the body,
leading to disease. So, Ayurveda
healthy life. cures from the root cause, so
how to disconnect from the
causative factors is the first line
of treatment. First, understand
what has produced the disease,
then practice pratyahara
by disconnecting from the
disturbing substances, or
withdrawing from your senses,
which give you discomfort
inside. Once the disconnection
is done, then the treatment can
start.
What is the
Treatment is based on curative
principles that have to be definition of
followed until the healing
completes. When someone health in
doesn’t follow them, they don’t
Ayurveda? A
heal from the root, so the
disease becomes deep-rooted, blissful state of
and it is termed incurable.
Even if your disease is termed body, mind, and
incurable, Ayurveda says that
an excellent physician can teach soul
you how to heal yourself. With
the practices of yoga and the
medicines that eliminate toxins,
the physician can guide the
patient to recover permanently.
Somebody has to handhold
and support the patient – it
can be a yoga teacher, a doctor,
or a family member. They give
confidence and aid in recovery.
However, unless the patient
makes an effort, recovery is a
challenge.
So Ayurveda looks at
prevention, cure, and
rehabilitation, and reduces
the suffering of miseries.
When Ayurveda and yoga are
combined, we can reduce the
suffering of the individual.
Yoga is a tool for Ayurveda to
help the patient not necessarily
recover, but at least stabilize
their health.
Octo b er 2 02 3

Q: How does Ayurveda
tackle mental health?
Is it something new or is
mental health something
that has been treated for
a long time in Ayurveda?
Ayurveda specializes in healing
the mind. We look at a human
being as a combination of five
koshas: Annamaya, Pranamaya,
Manomaya, Vignanamaya and
Anandamaya, the metaphorical
layers that comprise the human
body and mind, and house the
soul.
An excellent physician of
Ayurveda learns how to heal
through these five koshas. The
Annamaya kosha is the very
basic physical structure, and the
Pranamaya kosha is the energy
that connects the human body
40
and mind. The Manomaya
kosha is very dominant in a
human (manushya comes from
the Sanskrit manas, meaning
mind), as a human being is
absolutely mind dominated in
their world. Any sickness that
comes starts from the koshta,
the stomach, and affects the
Annamaya kosha, the physical
body; and when it’s not taken
care of, it affects the Pranamaya
kosha, which then makes an
impact on the Manomaya
kosha.
As human beings, we have
emotions. When the emotional
challenges or requirements
are not properly addressed, we
encounter an improper lifestyle,
improper association of people,
improper understanding of
emotions. This leaves samskaras
H eart f u l n es s
So Ayurveda looks
at prevention,
cure, and
rehabilitation, and
reduces the
suffering of
miseries.
or impressions on the mind.
When they are not properly
cleaned, this emotional
imbalance can impact the
Pranamaya kosha, which in
turn can bring on the onset of
physical diseases.
In Ayurveda, although we
address all five koshas, the
Manomaya kosha is very, very
important. In this we differ
from allopathic medicine, which
says that diseases are either
curable or incurable. Ayurveda
says that when you define a
disease as “incurable,” the mind
takes it very strongly, feels
nothing can be done, and won’t
make an effort to cure it. There
is a lot of research and good
documentation on the benefits
of Ayurveda; even our ancestors
I N S P I RATIO N
committed themselves to write of energy inside, to understand yoga teacher, to restore health.
about everything they did. what is happening in your mind. I really feel it is important. We
start from the physical body by
But we don’t rely only on these Ayurveda has a very deep doing a detox. This generates
papers. We look at the person as understanding of the mind. So energy and also helps the mind
a living example of this. treating emotional challenges is so the patient can take over their
easy with Ayurveda and yoga. own healing.
A good physician takes his
knowledge as a base, and with I really like the teamwork To be continued.
every patient he decides how between the patient and the
Ayurveda can improve their therapists, the doctor and the Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL
life. Whether it is an emotional
challenge, a mental disorder, or
a physical problem, we take a
positive approach to healing and
convey to their mind, “Yes, it’s
It gives a lot of confidence, a lot of
possible to cure you.” Of course,
energy inside, to understand what
they have to make the effort,
otherwise it’s a false promise – is happening in your mind.
we help them to cure themselves.
The physician, the medicine, the Ayurveda has a very deep
therapies, yoga and meditation,
all comprise 75% of the healing; understanding of the mind.
the remaining 25%, the rogi or
the sufferer, must believe it’s
possible to recover and make an
effort to work toward it.
If the patient is not able to
put in the effort, Ayurveda
treats the Annamaya kosha,
the physical body. It does the
detox and teaches the basic
breathing practices. That’s the
Pranamaya kosha, which gives
energy. When the Annamaya
kosha has toxicity, trying to
reach the Pranamaya kosha is
difficult. After the Annamaya
kosha is cleansed through the
Panchakarma, you can start very
simple breathing practices. It
gives a lot of confidence, a lot
 Workplace
Until you make the
unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life
and you will call it fate.

CARL JUNG
 JUST THINKING AND FEELING

WO RK P LACE

On Being a It is never too late to grow. Never too late

to learn. In the business world there is a
saying: when you hit oil, stop digging. In
other words, there is no use digging more.
You have already got what you wanted. In
personal growth, however when you hit oil
dig some more; and some more after that.
After oil you might hit gold.

Anthony pushed me to return demanding. I finally understood

to an even earlier period in my
life. And his pushing worked.
I understood my wives. I
remembered myself as a baby.
Recently born and crying my heart
out. I wanted my mother’s milk
DR. ICHAK ADIZES does some deep digging into and she was not giving it to me.
the past to understand why he is the way he is. I felt rejected. I recalled myself
The results are life-changing and very touching, actually screaming. I was hurting,
and the humility with which he is able to accept not only physically but emotionally
himself and change is worth cultivating. as well. Then, Anthony said, look
at who else is in the room. How
are they behaving? As I gazed
back into the room, into that scene
of more than seventy-five years
my wives and their complaint;
and not only my wives, but with
my employees too, I was over
demanding. No matter how much
they gave, I wanted more. Well, my
friends, it is never too late to grow.
Never too late to learn. In the
business world there is a saying:
when you hit oil, stop digging.
In other words, there is no use
digging more. You have already
got what you wanted. In personal
growth, however when you hit oil
dig some more; and some more
after that. After oil you might hit

I
have been accused by my first
wife and now by my second
wife of being a narcissist,
egocentric, and more; much more.
I used to get very upset when the
accusations came my way. “What
do you want from me? What is it
that I am doing that drives you to
this name calling,” I used to yell
back. I never received a satisfactory
answer.
In 2014, at the Anthony Robbins
Date with Destiny program,
in a flash I understood it very
well. As part of the program,
Anthony Robbins turned the
lights low and led us through
a well-known exercise where
you try to recollect your earliest
memory. A year earlier, I had an
incredible breakthrough when
I first attempted this exercise. I
understood very clearly the source
of my yearning for love. And I
recognized that it has driven my
behavior all my life.
What occurred? I succeeded in
recalling my early childhood
experience at a Bulgarian
concentration camp in Macedonia.
I was five years old. Transporting
myself back in time, I saw my
grandparents being taken to the
death chambers while I, a child of
five, gazed at them being herded
onto a cattle car as the doors
slammed closed on them. And I
knew in a moment of clarity, at
that instant of remembering, that
my heart had closed. I could not
risk loving anyone out of fear that
I would only lose them. That fear
has weighed on me all my life.
earlier, I realized my mother was gold.
crying. She had given me as much
milk as she had. There was simply Sharing with you my pains and
no more. At that time all feeding joys,
was natural and she gave what she
had. And so she was crying as she
watched me weep, knowing she
could not satisfy me. ichak@adizes.com
https://www.ichakadizes.com/post/
And suddenly I understood: I was on-being-a-narcissist
not being rejected. I was just over

44 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 45
 WO RK P LACE

When Success Fails

PARIDHI SINGH is a lawyer and freelance writer living in London.
After years of letting ambition drive her, she shares the burn-out
moment that made her pause and find a new perspective in an
unexpected place.

F
ailures and setbacks are a
common part of life. But
what if you do everything by
the book, dot the i’s and cross the
t’s, and still find yourself lost?
I was in such a situation earlier
this year. I had reached a key
milestone in an epic odyssey to
becoming a human rights lawyer,
which began when I was at school
in India and came to an end a
decade later in England.
Pradesh in India, with an
abundance of love and nature and
blissful ignorance of the world
beyond. But as my brother and I
grew older, worries about higher
education hit us. My parents
moved us to the capital city of
Delhi. To say that Delhi shocked
us as young teenagers would be an
understatement. The population,
diversity, pollution, poverty, and
scale of the city all overwhelmed
our senses.
All the students spoke English
fluently, and it was difficult to fit
in without it. It made me think:
if I could not fit in, despite being
the same ethnicity, age, class, and
background, all because I could
not speak English or because
I was not a city kid, then what
was life like for those who were
truly different? Those who were
impaired, or those who could not
afford to go to good schools in the
city?

I had a sheltered life growing Adjusting and adapting to city life

up in a small town in Madhya was difficult, particularly in school.

46 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 47
WOR K P L AC E
A spark
Human Rights – a profession
where you can empower those
most vulnerable in society by
protecting their freedoms and
asserting their rights. My mother’s
friend was a lawyer; he told me
about this career path, which took
root in me immediately. Little did
I know that it would become a
fire that would consume my entire
focus and energy for the decade to
come.
I worked hard, secured good
grades in school, and committed
48
myself to improving my English.
I flourished and gained entry
into one of the top law schools
in India. I worked even harder in
my undergraduate university. My
goal was simple: to study human
rights or international law from a
globally-renowned university and
secure a good job.
I had tremendous support from
my faculty, family, and friends
who guided me every step of
the way. I was determined to
secure an internship early on in
my undergraduate studies at the
United Nations, and after close
to one hundred applications
H eart f u l n es s
WO RK P LACE
in my first year, I did. My first my bones and the emptiness scared started working in Cambridge Cambridge fondly, as I finally
internship was at the UNDP me. I confessed to my mother, who once a week. Every Thursday found a sense of balance between
in Colombo, Sri Lanka. And so with such gentle and knowing morning, I would cycle to a working hard and enjoying life.
I went as a nineteen-year-old eyes said, “I think you should try local community center and ring
to live and work abroad. The Heartfulness Meditation.” the reception for my weekly But a career in law demands a
experience was transformative, and meditation sessions. pound of flesh. Seemingly, I was
it strengthened my conviction that I was surprised at her suggestion. nowhere close to having made
this was indeed the path for me. My maternal uncle is the one in That trainer, who is my trainer that payment. When I graduated
the family who meditates actively; still, was a wise and kind-hearted from Cambridge, I was advised by
I knew that to get into a top my parents don’t really meditate person. As our relationship grew, several faculty members and other
postgraduate law school, grades and rarely asked me to. But I so did my meditation practice. mentors to qualify as a solicitor in
alone would not be sufficient. I listened and am so very grateful I Things became so much better; England, in order to open doors
threw myself into the world of did. although the fire for pursuing for me in the human rights field.
international competitive a career in human rights had That meant doing two additional
debating. I Shortly after I moved to not dimmed, another flame had postgraduate law degrees and
traveled to Cambridge, I got a message that ignited within me for spirituality. two years of working at a good
several countries a Heartfulness trainer had just I always remember that year in commercial law firm in London.
and worked and
competed at debate tournaments,
took extra electives and more
coursework to set myself apart.
It was a lot of work, but I also
had some amazing experiences
along the way and made friends
from around the world, whom I
am still proud to have in my life.
I was accepted into Cambridge
University for my Master’s, a
surreal feat for someone from my
background.
A crack
After the amazement at getting
into Cambridge subsided, I
felt exhausted and completely
empty inside. I had barely taken
any break during five years of
undergraduate studies and the
realization came crashing into me.
I felt that I could not even move
Octo b er 2 02 3 49
WOR K P L AC E
I worked very long hours,
weekends and weekdays
blurring into each other, and I
constantly felt that there was
never enough time to rest.
50 H eart f u l n es s
I secured a position at one of the
top law firms. The next four years
were tough, I worked very long
hours, weekends and weekdays
blurring into each other, and I
constantly felt that there was never
enough time to rest.
I knew what I had signed up for,
but during law school I had a lot
of control over my time, whereas
saying “no” did not feel like an
option in the work culture. In fact,
saying no was often interpreted as
lacking drive.
My health and well-being suffered.
There were upsides; I was paid
well and could book holidays
for my family and put down a
deposit for my first home. But
I barely spent time with my
family. Although I did qualify as a
solicitor, I was not sure that I had
landed where I wanted to all those
years ago.
And now?
Last year, I visited Kanha
Shanti Vanam, and spoke to the
Heartfulness Guide, Daaji. One
of the things he said was that
when we think the material reward
or achievement is so great we
sacrifice ourselves.
The penny dropped. I had
not realized that is what I had
inadvertently done. I had placed
my career at the very top and
sacrificed everything else. To chase
a dream.
This realization made me so
resentful at first, but I felt such a
release and relief after that, like
I had finally been able to come
to the edge of a shore alongside
the calming and serene waters of
my soul. I realized that even our
noble desires can consume us and
keep us from experiencing the
true tranquility that resides within
our hearts, always reminding
us of our completeness that
is not dependent on external
achievements or accolades.
After a long time, I felt truly at
peace. I decided I would never
give up this peace for anything
else in the world. Perhaps I had
to go through this journey to
realize that. Perhaps, what I lost
I will never find again, but that is
okay. I am grateful I came to this
realization now while most of my
life is still ahead of me. Equally,
I am grateful for this incredible
journey that only a few get to live
and experience.
I am figuring out where to go next.
I still want to do more human
rights work, but this time my heart
has the front row seat. Since I
qualified, I left the law firm I was
working for. I have been doing
freelance content writing, teaching
yoga, and volunteer human rights
Octo b er 2 02 3
WO RK P LACE
work. More importantly, I am
allowing myself just to be – to live
life, to not have it all figured out,
and to not trade the present for
the future. The flame I wish to
keep alive is the one of a heartful
way of life. One that keeps me
warm on a cold night and will
never burn me.
For anyone who has gone
through something similar, who
did everything they were told
to do and achieved success in a
conventional sense, and still felt
exhausted at the end of the long
mile, do not lose heart. It is okay
for it not to be okay. The world
owes us nothing, but we owe
it to ourselves not to sacrifice
body, heart, mind, and soul for
something external or fleeting.
Besides, if you are feeling a sense
of incompletion with where you
are, then as the saying goes: The
film is not over yet, my friend.
The world owes us
nothing, but we owe
it to ourselves not to
sacrifice body,
heart, mind, and
soul for something
external or fleeting.
51
relationships

Music was my refuge.

I could crawl into the space
between the notes and curl my
back to loneliness.

MAYA ANGELOU

52 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 53
 5
Easy Tips for
Mindful Parenting
T
o me, mindfulness is
tuning in and being aware
of my present thoughts,
feelings, and emotions (or lack
of ) without any judgment. It
is being in the “here and now.”
I’ve been practicing meditation
for many years now, so going
inward has become a way of life
for me. With this in mind, I
enthusiastically embarked upon
motherhood feeling that I had
it all together. How naïve was I,
because as Dr. Shefali Tsabary
puts it, “letting go of control
over our children is probably the
hardest spiritual task we face as
parents.” As part of this ongoing
journey, here are five tenets of
mindful parenting I’ve picked
up along the way, as something I
not only relate to but also try to
live by.
KAJAL GUPTA shares her
experience of first-time
parenting, and how it has
opened her awareness
and helped her grow.
54 H eart f u l n es s
1 Truly know,
understand,
and experience
your child as
they really are,
separate from
you.
Yes, you can plan all you
want – your child’s clothes,
the nursery décor, whether you
decide to breast- or bottle-
feed, when to introduce solids,
and your parenting style,
too – but you can’t plan your
child’s temperament. Each
child is different; you’ll have
to tailor your parenting style
to meet your child’s needs and
temperament. I decided to
breastfeed for six months and
then move to bottle-feeding, but
my baby decided to enter my life
as a milk snob, refusing all the
bottles in the world. I decided to
introduce solids at six months,
Octo b er 2 02 3
RE LATIO N S H I P S
but baby decided he was ready to
taste his first fruit at 4.5 months.
I got beautifully-crafted wooden
toys, but baby was interested
in all the overly colorful, loud,
and ugly plastic ones! The point
I’m trying to make is: tune into
your child’s needs moment-to-
moment instead of dumping
your expectations on them.
“When you parent, it’s crucial you
realize you aren’t raising a “mini
me,” but a spirit throbbing with
its own signature. For this reason,
it’s important to separate who you
are from who each of your children
is. Children aren’t ours to possess
or own in any way. When we
know this in the depths of our soul,
we tailor our raising of them to
their needs, rather than molding
them to f it our needs.”
—The Conscious Parent by Dr.
Shefali Tsabary
55

2
Whenever you are
doing anything
with your
children, be with
them 100%.
Again, try to swim
your way out of
As with any mindfulness
practice, give your full attention
to that moment instead of
thinking of the future or the
this ocean of how-
past. I know, and experience
daily, how difficult this can be
tos, step back, with today’s fast-paced life. But
observe your child I always try to be fully present
with my child when I’m with
and yourself, and him. I’ve found the best way is
to encourage independent play
decide what’s and not intervene unnecessarily;
it is truly magical to observe
best for both of them at play and see into their
you. world!
“Play is children’s main way of
communicating. To stop a child
from playing is like stopping an
adult from talking and thinking.
To control every minute of their
play is like controlling every word
someone says.”
—Playful Parenting by
Lawrence Cohen
56 H eart f u l n es s
3
Try not to take
other’s comments
too personally.
This was a tough one for me,
and something I still struggle
with if I do not work on myself.
Having a baby makes every
person around you believe
that they not only have a say
in raising that child, but that
their way is the best way!
As if the initial hormonal
overwhelm of having a baby
plus keeping the baby alive are
not enough, people shower you
with their unsolicited advice
and comments. This does not
seem to stop after the first few
weeks of giving birth, but goes
on in cycles – how to sleep
train, how to potty train, how to
avoid toddler tantrums, how to
discipline, the list is endless!
Again, try to swim your way out
of this ocean of how-tos, step
back, observe your child and
yourself, and decide what’s best
for both of you. It is important
to build your own “village” –
your network of support and
inspiration – but a village
that feels safe for both of you.
Remember, your true tribe also
knows when to shut up and just
listen.
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
—African Proverb
Learn together,
laugh together,
cry together,
and grow together!
4 During emotional
outbursts and
tantrums, first
connect, then
redirect.
We often react to tantrums
instead of responding to them.
Consequences and lessons
are ineffective when a child’s
emotions are running high.
And why just children? It
is the same with adults, too.
Instead of punishments, using
a calm attitude to hold the
child through their emotions
allows your calmness to rub off,
giving way to receptiveness and
understanding.
“When little people are
overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s
our job to share our calm, not join
their chaos.”
—L.R. Knost
5
This is a journey
of learning for
both you and
your child.
Parenting is not hierarchical;
in fact, over this last year or so,
I’ve learnt so much more from
my child than I ever anticipated.
Learn together, laugh together,
cry together, and grow together!
Just like you, your children
deserve to feel that they are
loved and adored, just because
they exist, not when they are
disciplined, not when they get
straight As, or not when they are
successful individuals.
Octo b er 2 02 3
Even as we attempt to do our
best at parenting, we cannot
fully know where their lives will
take them; we can only love our
children, accept them and honor
the mystery of their being.
Do your best, be authentic,
and express gratitude for this
opportunity to evolve spiritually.
“ Your children are not your
children. They are the sons and
daughters of Life’s longing for
itself… They come through you
but not from you, And though they
are with you yet they belong not
to you.”
—Kahlil Gibran
57
 RE LATIO N S H I P S

It’s All
Different Overcoming Loneliness

Now MARY KERRIGAN is a Vital Space Maker. She creates vital spaces
full of light, where everyone belongs. An architect-placemaker and
conservation specialist, for more than 25 years she has been a
leading advocate for cultural and spatial change, active in the most
intractable circumstances, to powerful effect. Here, she shares
some ideas on how to overcome loneliness.

C
ourtney and I used to
be next-door neighbors
in our small adjoining
cottages along the side of the
country road. Until she and
her boyfriend found a bigger
apartment nearby.
Surprised to see her behind
the counter in the village
convenience store, I’m curious to
learn whether she’s still working
in the call center up the road, as
she was due to start there after
she moved out.
“Oh no. I gave up that job. I was
fed up with working from home,
sitting looking into a computer
screen all day, seeing no one,”
she says.
It got me thinking. The
pandemic forced thousands of
us into remote working. And
there were pluses, no doubt.
Released from the grinding daily
commute meant more time at
home with friends and family,
for those who had them.
Now it’s a thing, full-time and
hybrid. How many of us are
spending endless days sitting
in our kitchens or bedrooms
looking into computer screens?
Maybe never seeing a human
being from one end of the day
to the next – especially if we live
alone.
For us introverts, it seems
fantastic. No need to give out
all our energy in noisy, crowded,
open plan offices or turbo-
charged conferences.
“Connection is why we’re here.
We are hardwired to connect with
others,it’s what gives purpose and
meaning to our lives,and without
it there is suffering.”
—Brené Brown

58 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 59
RE L AT IO N SH I P S

While Teams, Google Meet, and Her parents are, sadly, dead. How many of us are
Zoom were undoubted lifelines Apart from an only sibling a
saving hundreds and thousands good hour away, she has no spending endless
from the pain of a total solitary extended family in the country.
confinement lockdown reality, That’s a lot of “alone time.” days sitting in our
the truth is, existing primarily in
a virtual world is no substitute Strikes me that this isn’t living.
kitchens or bedrooms
for IRL, the real deal. It’s existing. A lot of suffering. looking into computer
Pain.
A post-pandemic visit to a screens?
university friend in Greater
London pops into my head.
She’s been working for a local
authority for years. Covid-19
lands and she’s working from
home, five days a week.

Things open up. For my friend,

that means continuing to work
from home four days a week
and going into the office every
Friday, taking her turn manning
her team’s public-facing service.

Does her day in the office mean

she gets to see the rest of her
team? Not a bit. They’re either
home working or hot-desking
on separate floors.

Visiting a year later, I’m

surprised to learn she’s back
working from home again, all
five days.

A painful knee injury, the result And gifting ourselves regular

of a momentary biking mishap,
and the consequent enforced leg periods of self-chosen solitude is
rest means her beloved hiking
and yoga are a no-no. She’s a great way to restore and
not even supposed to walk.
Housebound even more.
replenish our heart and soul.

60 Octo b er 2 02 3 61
RE L AT IO N SH I P S
In 2016, a landmark report
commissioned by the British
Red Cross and The Co-op
found that over 9 million people
are affected by loneliness in the
UK. That was before we endured
the enforced isolation that came
with the pandemic.
Are you among them, even some
of the time? If so, how does that
impact you?
“Over four decades of research
has produced robust evidence that
lacking social connection – and
in particular, scoring high on
measures of social isolation – is
associated with a signif icantly
increased risk for early death from
all causes.”
—2020 Consensus Study,
National Academies of Science,
Engineering, and Medicine
U.S. Surgeon General’s Report
The same document also advises
us that the impact on our body
of loneliness is greater than
smoking fifteen cigarettes a day
and obesity – factors that we
know shorten lives. Then what
are the mental and emotional
costs of our loneliness epidemic?
The evidence is that loneliness
due to excessive and prolonged
social isolation is affecting our
physical, mental, and emotional
health, and not in a good way.
Without a drag on a cigarette,
without drinking a drop, it’s
62
killing us before our time – a
very slow death.
Of course, being “alone” is not
the same as suffering the deep
loneliness that comes when
our day-to-day reality involves
much more social isolation than
we like or need. And gifting
ourselves regular periods of
self-chosen solitude is a great
way to restore and replenish
our heart and soul. Sometimes,
though, we can have too much
of a good thing. “Everything in
moderation.”
Loneliness is part of the
human condition. Like sadness,
grief, joy, anger, happiness,
contentment. We all experience
it at some point in our lives.
And, yes, we can even be lonely
in a crowd.
The chronic deep loneliness
that causes the suffering Brené
Brown talks about is something
else. Less obvious than anger
or happiness, it may be subtle, a
kind of longing. While it might
cause sadness, it’s different.
Something’s missing. It may be
hard to put your finger on it.
You feel disconnected. It’s like
when the cold seeps into your
bones. You barely notice it until
you are completely frozen.
Over the past 100 years,
especially in the Western
world, we’ve created physical
H eart f u l n es s
environments that disconnect us
from people.
Does the place where you live
or work help or hinder you in
connecting with the people
around you?
How well do you know your
colleagues and neighbors? Well
enough to call in for a coffee
and a pick me up chat if you’re
having an off day? Or drop
When we are
genuinely
interested in others
and make the time,
real connection
emerges naturally.
in with a bowl of soup when
a neighbor who lives alone is
unwell?
How walkable is your
neighborhood, city center, and
workplace?
What’s your preferred way of
traveling to and from home? Is
your only choice to get from A
to B by private car? If so, then
it’s likely you aren’t getting many
chance chats with near neighbors
or colleagues.
Lucky you, if you’re surrounded
by close friends and family. Even
so, half the time, half the people
may be endlessly scrolling on their
phones.
Whatever the cause, or causes, of
our isolation and the loneliness
that may flow from it, take heart.
It’s possible to do something
Octo b er 2 02 3
RE LATIO N S H I P S
about it, even when that seems
impossible.
“Every time I enter a room, I enter
alone. And, it becomes my job as a
human being to get Connected.”
—Peter Block
While we are all capable of
connecting meaningfully, it does
not happen automatically. We
need to take action and create it,
together. Generating an intention
to be connected is critical. Then,
are we up for revealing what
really matters to us, sharing our
vulnerabilities?
Vitally, becoming deeply curious
about others, paying attention
to them, is the key that unlocks
the door to connection. Asking
questions framed to discover
who another person really is, and
listening to their answers without
interrupting or giving advice, helps
us become connected very quickly.
When we are genuinely interested
in others and make the time, real
connection emerges naturally.
Covid-19 has cast a very long
shadow on our mental health and
emotional well-being. Creating
vital spaces where everyone
belongs, connecting people and
places, helps shorten that shadow.
63
Environment

Simplicity is the most difficult thing

to secure in this world; it is the last
limit of experience and the last effort
of genius.

GEORGE SAND

Illustration by ANANYA PATEL

 From
Clutter
to
Clarity
THOMAS STANLEY is a psychology master’s student
based in Bristol, UK. He shares his awakening to the
value of decluttering and Shintoism, and what they
teach us about taking better care of our planet Earth.

T
wo weeks ago, I had an
experience which inspired
me to think about my
relationship with the things I own.
In preparation for moving house,
I condensed my clothes down to
what I would need for the next five
days, hung them in my wardrobe,
put everything else in a cardboard
box, and paused. Not only did the
wardrobe look different, but I felt
dramatically different looking at it.
A feeling of ease enveloped me, a
sense of freedom.
After living with 28 years of stuff,
my awareness was brought to the
weight of it all. Why had I been
living with this stuff if it had
been subtly weighing me down?
Inspired by having fewer coat
hangers to pick up, I explored the
psychological impact of material
belongings on our mental wellness.
Environment decides our
moods, our emotions, our
thoughts, our actions.
—Kamlesh Patel1
It’s true. Our environment affects
us in many ways. More time spent
in nature can improve our health
and well-being,2 there is generally
a higher risk of mental illness in
cities than in rural areas,3 and
architectural design can impact
productivity in the workplace.4
It can even affect our DNA.5 We
commonly think of spaces when
we think of environment, but our
belongings are also a part of it.
From the clothes we wear to that
box of glass jars under the bed that
were going to become terrariums
(just me?), the things we own are
environmental factors that affect
our minds.
Clutter can also be an
environmental factor. By clutter, I
mean things in our environment
that make it untidy. One study
found that more clutter was
associated with more depression
throughout the day, fatigue in the
evening, and less satisfaction in
relationships.6 Our possessions,
including the ones we are
attached to but don’t regularly use,

Octo b er 2 02 3 67
ENV I RO N M EN T
contribute to the clutter.7 This
implies that owning more clutter-
prone items can worsen our mental
health. So can letting go of such
items make us feel better? It seems
so!
In a scientific literature review on
minimalism, 21 studies showed
that reducing consumption and
excess in one’s life improves
well-being.8 Minimalism, also
known as voluntary simplicity, is a
philosophy that encourages us to
live with less, an opposing force
to consumerism. For some, it can
provide an opportunity to become
aware of the intentions that drive
us to accumulate different things.
A space to notice the thoughts and
energy we give to our belongings
and the energy they give back.
A country with elements of
minimalism ingrained into its
culture is Japan.
Minimalist
Practices in Japan
The KonMari method9 is a
popular organizing method
developed by Marie Kondo, a
Japanese author, TV presenter,
and consultant known for her
bestselling book The Life-
Changing Magic of Tidying Up and
her Netflix TV show Tidying Up
With Marie Kondo.
The KonMari method involves
gathering all your belongings
68
together in one place, one category
at a time, and only keeping the
ones that spark joy. To see if an
item sparks joy, you hold it and see
if it makes you feel joyful. First
you go through your clothes, keep
the ones that spark joy and discard
the ones that don’t, then move on
to books, paper, etc. The items you
choose to keep are given a specific
location where they will stay.
Even though this approach is
similar to minimalism, Kondo
states, “Minimalism advocates
living with less; the KonMari
Method encourages living
among items you truly cherish.”10
Following the KonMari
method, you are surrounded by
purposeful possessions, creating
an environment that reflects the
positivity within you.
H eart f u l n es s
Kondo says that removing
household items that don’t
spark joy lets you reflect on the
usefulness of each item, invoking
an opportunity to learn from your
past experiences. She says this
helps to learn what the feeling
of joy means to you, which will
develop and aid you in future
decluttering. Whilst tidying, she
encourages you to set the intention
to build an environment that will
cater to the person you aspire to
be.
Whilst the KonMari method
has seen a mainstream surge of
interest, there is a deeper intention
behind it, the influence of Shinto,
a religious system in Japan. Kondo
previously worked as a priestess
at a Shinto shrine,11 which she
Minimalism, also
known as voluntary
simplicity, is a
philosophy that
encourages us to
live with less, an
opposing force to
consumerism.
says influences her method: “In
Shintoism and in shrines, tidying
and cleaning are regarded as
mental cultivation and spiritual
training. I suggest people develop
their home as if it is their own
shrine, which is a power spot to its
residents.”
Shinto first appeared in the
literature over 2,000 years ago.12
In a survey, 80% of people in
Japan said they practice the
Shinto tradition, but less than 4%
identified it as their religion.13
What defines Shinto? It is the
belief in Kami, divine entities
that watch over the universe and
live alongside humans, commonly
in beautiful objects of nature.14
Humans respect the Kami and,
Octo b er 2 02 3
E N VI RO N M E N T
in return, they receive the Kami’s
love.15 We communicate with
them through offerings and
prayer, which is believed to help
maintain a sacred relationship
with the environment. Cleaning
and tidiness are a staple ritual in
Shinto, as it is believed that waste
and pollution separate a person
from the creative nature of Kami,
known as Musubi, which connects
everything and everyone in the
universe.
“In the West, we are taught that
cleanliness is next to godliness. In
Shinto, cleanliness is godliness.”16
This gives a deeper understanding
of Kondo’s work and an alternative
look at how tidying up can be
changed from a chore to a divine
act of gratitude.
69
ENV I RO N M EN T
The Outcome of My
Experience
For most of my life, I have lived in
clutter: stuff on the floor, random
ideas for art projects under my
bed, musical instruments that I did
not play, etc. I identified with my
creative chaos and was partially
content with it. Thinking back on
it, I resented organization, being
born into a family of hyper-
organizers. However, my mess did
create some emotional conflict and
subtle brain fog, which I am still
processing today. I can empathize
with people who are okay with
their clutter – they may have more
pressing matters to attend to or a
different way of life.
But there is value in decluttering.
One way of looking at it is that
you spend less time searching for
things in a scurry and less time
accessing essentials, leading to
more time with the things and
people that spark joy.
If it weren’t for moving house,
I probably would not have seen
the value in decluttering, and
I wouldn’t feel this newfound
connection to my immediate
environment. While disconnecting
from your environment personally
can create clutter, leading to
increased stress and decreased
focus,17 disconnecting from the
environment on a global scale
can lead to mass extinction and
poisoning the landscape,18 which
70
I see as the collective clutter and
uncleanliness of our collaborative
home.
I now see the value in Shintoism,
and feel that if each of us adopted
similar rituals in our day-to-day
lives to express more gratitude to
the planet and take better care
of her (and her belongings), we
could reduce the ramifications
of consumerism and restore her
health.
References:
1
https://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=cshOZiaxgjo
2
https://www.nature.com/articles/
s41598-019-44097-3
3
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/
articles/PMC5374256/
4
https://www.researchgate.net/
publication/355340634_Factors_
Affecting_the_Productivity_of_
Employees_in_Architectural_Firms
5
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/
articles/PMC4887632/
6
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/
epdf/10.1177/0146167209352864
7
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/
full/10.1080/10253860701256208
8
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/
full/10.1080/17439760.2021.1991450?
src=
9
https://konmari.com/about-the-
konmari-method/
H eart f u l n es s
10
https://konmari.com/konmari-is-
not-minimalism/
11
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/
worldnews/asia/japan/12102664/
Japans-decluttering-guru-says-she-
is-on-a-mission-to-organise-the-
world.html
12
https://www.cambridge.org/core/
journals/bulletin-of-the-school-of-
oriental-and-african-studies/article/
helen-hardacre-shinto-a-history-
new-york-oxford-university-press-
2017-698-pp-isbn-9780190621711/
F581DE6974395E5FCE0DE2FAE3931A93
13
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/
book/10.1002/9781444317190
14
https://ia803400.us.archive.
org/22/items/studies-on-shinto-and-
japanese-religion-stuart-picken/
Essentials%20of%20Shinto%20-%20
Stuart%20D.B.%20Picken.pdf
15
https://www.worldcat.org/
title/Encyclopedia-of-religion/
oclc/56057973
16
https://www.bbc.com/travel/
article/20191006-what-japan-can-
teach-us-about-cleanliness
17
https://www.jneurosci.org/
content/31/2/587
18
https://journals.sagepub.com/
doi/10.1177/0013916506295574;
https://link.springer.com/
article/10.1007/s40362-014-0021-3
Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL
 Creativity
For fast-acting relief,
try slowing down.

LILY TOMLIN

Illustration by LAKSHMI GADDAM

 CRE ATI VI TY

ART, HEALING,
& Slowing Down

SIDDHARTHA V. SHAH has been promoting art as a means of

community engagement and social responsibility throughout
his professional career. Recently he took up the role of Director
of the Mead Art Museum, Amherst College, Massachusetts, and
talks with VANESSA PATEL about how he is expanding his vision in
this new college environment.

Q: Hello Siddhartha, thanks for that was so central to your last

your time. Since last we met,
you’ve moved to the Mead at
Amherst. It's a different profile of
people, right?
Totally different. At Amherst
College, the students are
incredibly smart and talented.
They can really think critically
about art in a different way, and
you can take more risks because
college is about engaging with
difficult conversations.
Q: So how are you taking forward
the community engagement
position at the Peabody Essex
Museum?
That will be a major part of
what I do. The challenge is how
to make the arts more available
to people and democratize art
museums. But the museum is in
the middle of a college campus,
so, if the community has a hard
time accessing it, if they can’t park,
if they don’t feel like what’s on
campus is really for them, we’re
limited. I’m hoping to advocate
for the museum to move closer
to town, to show that we are

74 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 75
CREAT I V I T Y
balancing the commitment to the
educational mission and the civic
responsibility of the college. This
is a long-term plan as we want
more people from the community
to feel welcome. We want the
general public to feel quite
comfortable wandering in.
Q: Are there specific projects
that you are working on here?
We are working on a public
engagement project, an exhibition
around American Studies and the
idea of democracy, as well as the
college being a place to develop
the civic leaders of the future.
I started thinking about Puerto
Rico, which is essentially an
American colony. The situation
of Puerto Rico really brings into
question whether the United
States is a democracy, and whether
our identity really is about
freedom.
This exhibition, from the Museum
of Contemporary Art in Puerto
Rico, is called “Tropical is Political
– Caribbean Art Under the Visitor
Economy Regime.” It addresses
some of the issues around
American identity. There are
towns near here in Massachusetts
76
CRE ATI VI TY
To be in a space of
beauty can shift
the way we feel,
how we open up,
the way we
connect with
people.
that have the highest percentage
of Puerto Ricans in the United
States, like Holyoke and the
city of Springfield. These are
communities that have not felt
welcomed at an elite college
campus. So, my hope is that by
doing this exhibition, talking
about the situation of Puerto Rico
and the Caribbean, that these folks
will come to the museum and see
their story. The labels will be in
English and Spanish. This is one
form of community engagement,
through an exhibition that’s about
the people who live near us.
Q: I hope it expands for you the
way you want it to.
The first thing I did when I
arrived was to check with the staff
if they wanted to do a training
H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 77
 CR EAT I V I T Y
on sensory accessibility, and they
agreed. The museum is now
certified as a sensory-inclusive
museum, which means that we
attend to the needs of people with
invisible disabilities (e.g., post-
traumatic stress disorder, a stroke,
or on the autism spectrum). We
have signs to inform them when
there might be noise or flashing
lights; we have noise cancelling
headphones if they’re sensitive
to sound. The next step is color
accessibility, where we purchase
special glasses. Folks who are
colorblind don’t experience visual
art in the same way. These glasses
allow them to experience art fully.
Q: I’m sure it requires quite a
bit of investment. Do you see
this leading towards more
partnerships with the larger
community?
Yes, although it’s going to
take time. You can’t rush into
community partnerships. You have
to assess the risks, for example,
where you could break someone’s
trust. It takes time to earn the
trust of people, performatively
testing partnerships, seeing that
everybody is happy.
We’ve been doing an art project
around mental health with a
school for students with learning
disabilities and social challenges,
displaying their work in the lobby.
We have special hours because
some of them are not comfortable
78
being there with the public. It is a
resource we share with them and
we want them to take advantage
of it. But we have to be really
sensitive about how we partner
with them. All these things take
time.
Q: With so much social upheaval
around us, what are your
thoughts on the role of art in
navigating through our current
issues, for instance, the fears
around climate change? Is there
something that art can offer as
a means of support?
There are a lot of different ways
to approach this. Regarding fear
around climate change, art can
present solutions. Can art address
this in ways that are communal?
I’ve heard of some artists who
make coral reefs out of knitting,
so other folks can come and
participate. It is a co-created
practice about something at risk
because of climate change. There
are creative ways you can present
issues.
There are ways to present race
and social justice with art in ways
that words can’t. There’s a lot of
sensitivity about using the wrong
language and not wanting to hurt
people. Art can communicate
some of these complexities visually,
touching a much deeper place.
The flip side is that you can
trigger people’s sensitivities.
H eart f u l n es s
CRE ATI VI TY
You may need to have content
warnings, for example, “The next
object engages issues of racism
and sexual violence. The reason it
is here is because there are aspects
of these topics that need to be
presented and engaged. If you wish
not to engage with this material,
then you might want to go to a
different area of the museum.” You
need to give them the option to
engage or not.
Ultimately, it’s all about visitor
experience. You have to balance
the objects and care for the objects,
the correct presentation and
history, and the visitor experience.
Museums have historically
prioritized objects. Now they’re
shifting, and I’m someone who is
all about the visitor experience;
The museum can be
a space of slowing
down; not just
swiping past an objects support that. For the like empathy, connection, counseling services than when I
visitor to have a good experience, and wellness. You used to do was in college. Since the pandemic,
image, but looking they should have the option to meditation at the Peabody. Is a lot of students are seeking
engage as they wish, rather than that something you’ve brought mental health support. I see an
deeper, more being confronted with something here too? opportunity for the art museum to
they aren’t prepared for. What do be a space of healing, rejuvenation,
closely. A space to you want to learn about? Here are Not yet, since I’m the director and restoration, rest, and slowing
your options, now choose your because of the power dynamic. down. All these are aspects of the
slow down can own adventure. But nothing has changed around same thing.
really support my commitment to wellness and
Q: You have talked about the role of the arts. There are a I noticed in myself a connection
mental health. including spiritual aspects lot more college students seeking between internet scrolling (doom
Octo b er 2 02 3 79
 CR EAT I V I T Y C RE ATI VI TY

scrolling) and anxiety. There’s so Think about the stress of exams. I

much news and the images are remember what it was like, paired
changing. I become like a zombie, with trying to find a job when you
mindlessly scrolling until I’m graduate, maybe coming from not
completely agitated. And if I’m much money, and feeling like you
experiencing that, there must be are now going to be responsible.
a lot of people experiencing it, Those pressures as well as body
potentially worse than me, because image issues, questioning sexual
they might not even be aware. identity, are really intense for
students.
The museum can be a space of
slowing down; not just swiping Q: I think the old support systems
past an image, but looking deeper, have practically crumbled and
more closely. If people are having disappeared. They seem to
an experience of looking at have become redundant. There
images and slowing down, it is the is a need for support systems
complete opposite of looking at with anonymity and lack of
images frantically, whether it’s a judgment, completely open and
dating app or Instagram. A space supportive. I really hope your
to slow down can really support idea takes shape, because that
mental health. room sounds like a lovely place,
a haven.
We do have a Counseling Centre
on campus, and my understanding Yes. I don’t know if it’s the same
is that people can go for one-on- for everybody, but I find beauty
one sessions and group therapy really healing. When you’re sick,
sessions, like survivors of sexual hospital doesn’t feel or look like
violence, Alcoholics Anonymous, a space of healing. It’s sanitized
Overeaters Anonymous. I’m and cold and smells bad, and
wondering if we can offer the there are machines beeping.
museum as a space for some of Even a therapist’s office can feel
these groups to meet, because we unwelcome and stark. To be in a
have an old wood-paneled room space of beauty can shift the way
that can be completely closed and we feel, how we open up, the way
private; it is a beautiful, cozy room, we connect with people. So, I’m
a great safe space to engage in a hoping that this beautiful room
facilitated conversation around a can be used in that way.
challenge. I’m exploring that too.
Q: Thank you again, Siddhartha.

80 H eart f u l n es s Octo b er 2 02 3 81
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