Chapter 1: A Decision to Change

Avni had reached her breaking point. How much longer could she keep herself
trapped in this predicament? Unintentionally, she opened the physics book that had
been sitting in front of her for the past six months. Despite not attending a single day
of college, she made up her mind to study for the upcoming winter semester exams.
As she began, she felt a sense of intellectual accomplishment, believing that maybe
she could do this. However, every time the concepts became more challenging, she
would shut the book and find solace in reading poems.
Today, Avni had made a firm decision. No matter what, she was determined to study
for the winter exams. She had no other viable options. As she stared at the daunting
derivations, they seemed like insurmountable disasters. In times like these, she
always called Simran, and she did so before she even had a chance to think about it.
"Simran!" Avni exclaimed.
"Yes, Avni," Simran replied.
"I'm stuck. At first, I thought I could pursue what I truly desire. Then I considered the
notion that maybe it doesn't matter what I want. Perhaps God has already decided,
and accepting that would resolve everything. Little did I know I would also have to
study something I probably hate."
Simran, accustomed to Avni's rants, paused for a moment. "Okay, are you done? Can
I speak now?" she asked.
"Oh, Simran, yes! Tell me something," Avni responded eagerly.
"Have you ever tried not panicking over the little things? It's something I keep telling
you, like an idiot," Simran advised.
"I feel like I'm unable to study amidst all these never-ending messes," Avni confessed.
"Listen, I have a really good friend from school who used to help us understand
math," Simran suggested.
Avni hesitated, "Who?"
"I'll send you his Facebook profile. That way, you won't need to exchange numbers if
you're not comfortable with it," Simran offered.
"That's what I prefer, babe. Talk to you later," Avni replied.
"Bye."
Although Avni seemed intelligent, she often struggled with sticking to predetermined
plans. She considered it brave of herself to even begin studying, even though it wasn't
part of her original plan. It was already challenging enough to navigate through all
this.
"I guess I need some sleep," Avni muttered.
Deep down, she knew she was deceiving herself and being dishonest about today's
plan. She had decided to change her life after six months. Avni deceived herself by
convincing the other part of her that she had studied enough as a start and wasn't
doing anything wrong.
Avni checked the Facebook profile Simran shared and eventually drifted off to sleep,
her mind filled with uncertainties and the hope for a better future.