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9/15/23

IFS: COMPASSION FOR


ADDICTIVE PROCESSES
Cece Sykes LCSW ACSW
ifs-institute.com
cecesykeslcsw.com

Overview

TALKING POINTS

What is the Internal System?


Defining Parts
Moving from Old Definitions to New
Defusing Polarities
Cultivating Compassion
Treatment Considerations
References

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Internal Family System (IFS)


Psychotherapy Model

◦ Evidence-based model of psychotherapy


◦ Developed 1980’s; Richard Schwartz, Ph.D
in Chicago; research with eating disorders
◦ Internal Family Systems Therapy ; 1995;
◦ 2nd Ed. 2020; 40+IFS books

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IFS BASIC
S e lf - inte rn a lize d , e m b o d ie d
state o f ca lm , w itn e ssin g ASSUMPTIONS
M u ltip licity - m a d e u p o f
su b p e rso n a litie s ca lle d Pa rts

Eve r y th in g is a Pa rt! T h o u ghts,


Fe e lin gs, S e n satio n s

Psych e is a syste m : " A ny e ntity


w h o se p a rts re late to o n e
a n o th e r in a p atte rn ."

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Self…..
◦ Our essence, soul, inner voice, inner knowing;
buddha nature; embodied; spiritual
◦ IFS: clients felt ‘more like themselves’
◦ Inborn and released, not acquired
◦ Self and addictive process; desire to be whole;
feel better; inner voice (even when ‘high’);
◦ Pause; Available in moments

“Self is Not Being Happy;


Self is Being Aware” cecesykes

Self….Revealed

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Eight C’s of Self Energy


Calm
Creative
Connected
Compassionate
Confident
Clarity
Courageous
Curiosity
+ Choice (9th C)

©cecesykeslcsw

Multiplicity is normal, but not easy!


….feels chaotic

What are Parts?


Thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories,
temperment
Role: Impacted by environment
Adaptive: Have a positive intention
Become extreme in burdened system
Develop relationships
polarities and alliances

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Treating a System, Not a Symptom


Managers FF/Distracters

• Escape/Soothe
• Stabilize/Improve
• Present-oriented
• Future-oriented
• Proactive SELF •

Reactive
Reject/Concealed
• Over-identified

• Absorb Energy
• Past-oriented
Exiles • Overwhelming
• Repress/Ignore
© cece sykes lcsw

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Managers: Never Again!


“If I do it right, I’m not a bad person”

Positive Intentions: Functioning + Stability


responsible, rational; thoughtful,
planner, analyzer, caretaker, achiever,
helper, cautious, approval-seeking
Extreme/Add Process:
Contempt + Control -over-responsible,
unemotional; cold, contemptuous, hostile,
blamer/shamer, perfectionist, chronic self-
sacrifice, chronic rescuer and “fixer”

© cecesykeslcsw

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Managers:
Functional, Stressed, Striving

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Managers: To the Rescue

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Firefighters/Distractors/Soothers

Often dismissed, reviled; don’t care; heroic, defiant,


‘take bullet’ for system; adolescent energy
Higher risk – heavy alcohol/drug use;
compulsive gaming, sexual preoccupation,
dissociation; gambling/debt; disordered eating, self-
harming; rage, suicide, violence
Lower risk-a few drinks, occasional drugs; social
media, TV, shop/spend, sports/exercise; video games,
sleeping; flirting; irritation; spacing out, mild food
preoccupation

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Firefighters/Distractors
…whatever it takes
Often dismissed, reviled; don’t care; heroic, defiant, ‘take bullet’ for
system; adolescent energy
Positive Intentions: medicate and balance
Protecting the system: Put out exile’s emotional fires
Balancing the system: shifts gears to balance
manager/exiles energy ; promote rest, relaxation,
pleasure, fun, lightness, play, sweetness; adventure

avoid, distract, medicate painful emotions; heroic-doesn’t care


about consequences; doesn’t accept feedback;
defends against judgmental parts; won’t step back till exiles are better

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Pain Medication

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Exiles: Our Vulnerability


◦ Originally can be innocent, trusting, carefree, playful, sensitive,
open-hearted; not all are burdened; our shared humanity
◦ Absorb energies in the field + or –
◦ Feel young, small, alone; “Pain in Isolation”
◦ Hold memories: “implicit memory;” on back burner of everyday
consciousness
◦ Show ‘randomly” up as story/memory
◦ Burdened with false beliefs; feel
unchangeable and “true”
◦ Have self energy-know their needs

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“ Pain in Isolation”

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ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EVENTS STUDY (ACE)

Kaiser-Permamente 1995-1997 inter viewed `17,000 people to


measure total amount of stress in childhood

Defines "Adverse Childhood Experiences" as exposure to:

• physical, emotional, sexual child abuse


• neglect
• housing /food insecurity
• domestic violence
• household members abusing alcohol or drugs
• loss of parent/divorce

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ACE: Trauma, Health, Addictive Process

◦ High ACE score = increased substance use x 7


◦ Attempted suicide x 12
◦ ACE five+ 7-10 x higher risk ‘street’ drugs;
3x misuse prescription drugs due to chronic pain
◦ 2020: deaths: 440,000 nicotine; 88,000 alcohol;
◦ 110,000 drugs (1/3 opiates)
◦ 300,000 deaths/obesity
◦ ANAD-30 million: more risk than bipolar/depression;
◦ Gaming industry -150 billion/year
◦ Porn-hub - 28 billion visits/year; 81m. per day

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PA RTS IN D E V E LO PM E N T

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S u b -p e rs o n a litie s : M a ny p re s e nt at b irth

N ew p a rts e m e rge a n d d eve lo p ove r tim e

Pa rts h ave a S e lf a n d a p refe rre d ro le

M a n a ge rs a n d firefig hte rs o rga n ize to p ro te c t th e syste m

E x ile s d eve lo p b u rd e n s ove r tim e

Managers and firefighters become extreme and


polarized when they disagree about how to provide
safety

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TRADITIONAL DEFINITIONS

"Addiction is a complex condition, a brain disease that is


cece sykes lcsw • 2023

manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful


consequence...changes in the brain are what cause people
to have intense cravings for the drug and make it hard to
stop using the drug."
American Psychiatric Association

"Addiction is a treatable, chronic medical disease involving


complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the
environment, and an individual's life experiences. People with
addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become
compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences.
Prevention efforts and treatment approaches for addiction are
generally as successful as those for other chronic diseases."
American Society of Addiction Medicine 2019 13

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Psychological Definitions: A Process


A chronic polarity between two sets of
extreme parts: critical, controlling (M) and
avoidant, soothing (FF/D); both try to protect
exposure of buried (E) emotional pain.
IFS/Sykes
Pain medication- coping with complex trauma
Gabor Mate’
Addiction shouldn’t be called 'addiction.’ It should
be called “ritualized compulsive comfort-seeking.”
Sumrok MD; Addiction Sciences, U Tenn

Dependence on or commitment to a practice,


habit or substance to the extent that cessation
causes trauma. Kemerman Webster’s

Anything we lie about. Anne Wilson Schaef

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WHAT CAN TREATMENT LOOK LIKE?

• Treat people with respect instead of blaming or


shaming them.
• Listen intently to what they have to say.
• Integrate healing traditions of the culture in
which they live.
• Use prescription drugs, if necessary.
• Integrate Adverse Childhood Experiences
science (ACEs)

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IFS for Addictive Process

◦ Therapist Self views client as system


◦ ‘Using FF’ protective, positive intention
◦ Manager/FF are hinged, treat polarity
◦ Reinforce functioning: Self Detector
◦ Creating inner connection = new
neuropathways
◦ Connect to exiles –trauma , alienation and
wounds
◦ Integrate w/ professionals and groups

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Core Indicators
Impulsive
Done without thinking: “ It just happened…”
Compulsive
No choice anymore: “I had to…”
Ignore Consequences
Disdain or Denial of Risk and Costs
“Nothing else matters…”

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Firefighter/SootherQualities

◦ Appear chaotic, invite management


◦ Narcissistic, self-absorbed
◦ Resist feedback (pressure to change)
◦ Protect role at all costs
◦ Intentions: escape, distract, medicate, avoid painful emotions
◦ Fears: Managers won’t rest; Exiles flood system

Heroic; Won’t leave their post if exiles not safe cecesykeslcsw

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P O L A R IZAT IO N : T H E BAT T L E F IE L D

BLAME FLAME

E X IL E

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cece sykes lcsw • 2023

SYSTEMIC ADDICTIVE PROCESS


EXTREME MANAGER = EXTREME FIREFIGHTER

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Paradigm Shift :
Judgment or Compassion?

◦ Not - why the addiction…..Why the Pain? (Mate’)


◦ Not - Why are you doing that to yourself? ……How is that part trying
to help you? (IFS)
◦ Not - Why do you have to be so checked out?…..What are you
afraid would happen if you were here, more aware? (IFS)

Never an Excuse……
Always a Reason

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Key Managers
◦ Caretaker-self-sacrifice own needs; focus on
fixing other’s inner world
◦ Controller-one right way (mine!)
◦ Perfectionist- cannot make a mistake
◦ Critic- only see what’s wrong
◦ Judge: shames and evaluates everything:
Nover good enoughcan’t win!

“If you ask a question and the answer cannot


be No,
it is not a question, it is a command.”

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IFS – Paradigm Shift


GET IN RELATIONSHIP VS GET IN CONTROL
•Treating a system, not a symptom
•Positive intentions of negative behaviors
•Firefighters do all the wrong things for all
the right reasons

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Community

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Collaboration: We are in this Together


“I am not here to take this away from you.”

◦ Creating a vision : what do you want from therapy?


◦ Start in here and now - creates safety
◦ Ask about parts not ready, nervous, or hopeless
◦ “…Not in charge of your sobriety plan…”
◦ Assume relapse or recurrence
◦ How have you worked on this ? Previous therapy?
◦ Ask abt less risky FF/D; ie screen time, work, music,
exercise, food; sports
◦ Never an excuse, Always a reason
◦ Choice: “The Ninth C”

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IFS Advantage
After extended using of substances and practices brain is altered
Initiative and attachment are impaired
Pre-frontal cortex-judgment and decision-making
Choice : impaired
“Brain, impaired organ, needs to initiate its own healing process….”
IFS: Building self – to – part connections =
accessing mind to heal the brain

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Polarizations
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Two sets of parts protecting the system using


conflicting approaches

• System seeks homeostasis


attempting balance.

• Client blends with both


sides.

• Each side/team has positive


intentions.

cece sykes lcsw • 2023

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Polarizations

The degree to which


Firefighters/Distractors engage in
destruction of Self and others
equals
the degree of inner emotional
abuse by Managers.

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Common Polarities

◦ Never Use vs Must Use


◦ In Control vs Out of control
◦ Work hard vs Indulge
◦ Do for other other vs Do for me
◦ Approval Seeking vs Rebelling
◦ Tell the truth vs Hide the truth
◦ Compliance vs Autonomy
◦ Organize vs Chaos

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Working with
polarizations
Boat at Sea: Delicate balance with Self at helm.
Any part moves or changes causes everyone to be unsteady.
Connect to Self to reassure and create smooth sailing.

Conference table: Client/Self seated at head, parts in battle across


the table. Managers at the right hand, exiles at foot of table.
Everyone gets only one chair.

Accept both sides as essential and needed.


Make connection. Protectors turn to Self. 28

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Self Spectrum: Conscious Awareness

Transcendence
Dissociation

Flooded Blended Self-led Self

© cece sykes lcsw

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U S IN G S P EC T U M : C H O IC E , R IS K , AWA R E N ES S

Dissociation Transcend

Loss of reality/no connection Enhanced reality/no separation

F LO O D E D BLENDED S E L F -L E D SELF
CHRONIC USE Frequent Heavy Use Regular Use Occasional Use Spiritual
LIT TLE/NO CHOICE high risk/less choice less risk/some choice full choice or ceremonial use
very high risk high consequences medium consequences few consequences
chronic direct access/insight insight/direct access insight
consequences
direct access

cece sykes lcsw & mary kruger lcsw

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Get in Relationship, Not in


Control
◦ Traditional addiction therapy-fights or tries
to control FF/S/Using parts
◦ IFS goal is create self-to-part with Using
parts:
“I just want to get to know you.”
“I am not here to change you.”
“Other parts have tried to shame you,
but I am not those parts.”
“There is more to you than meets the
eye – you’re more complex than you seem.”

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Compassion for “Using” Parts


◦ When did FF start: What was happening to exiles
when FF got started- family
◦ Client can visualize FF to detach
◦ Positive intention for negative behavior
◦ Acknowledge wisdom of ‘getting away’
◦ Normalize fears of exiles: 1-way street
◦ Tracking – day in the life, context
◦ Risks- Identify intended vs unintended
◦ Choice: “The Ninth C”- Freedom to choose

© cece sykes lcsw

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What is tracking? ……
Identifying Inner Sequences, Finding Pattern

C. External Stressor: “...My partner yelled at me…”


T. How did that impact you?
C. “I felt Angry….”
T. What part did you show your partner?
C. “Shrugged, said okay…” Or, “I yelled at them…”
T. Then what happened?
C. Later that night I “… ate, got high, gambled/porn….”
T. How did that feel?
C. “Great! Then I did some more…. Then I passed out.”
T. Then what happened?
C. I woke up. I felt terrible….
T. Okay, can I reflect this back to you?

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Transitions: Ask

◦ How do you wake up? Mood, parts, medications?


◦ What to do when you finish work ?
◦ How do you transition to sleep?
◦ How do you unwind and resource?
◦ Where, when do you eat, w/ whom?
◦ In family arguments-substances used?
◦ Anger, preoccupations; what happens after a ‘using’
time…..
◦ cecesykeslcsw

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Compassion
for Difficult UNBLEND
Managers believe they are the Self

Managers BE CURIOUS
Can you feel it now? What qualities?
What are its thoughts? Any negative
attitudes?

REASSURE THE PART


"We are not here to get rid of you."
Respond to fear of overwhelm of FF/E

PROVIDE COMPASSION
""You are working so hard!"

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Interview Manager: 3 Questions


Find, Focus, Flesh out/Find out….
Ask the part: When you try to get me to do this (activity/behavior )
what is your intention or mission? How are you trying to help? How long
have you had this role?
Ask the part: What are you afraid or concerned will happen if you stop
doing this behavior?” What are other fears or worries?
◦ Acknowledge their hard work; their fears are realistic, they have legitimate
concerns
Ask the part: If you saw there is another way to keep this EXILE safe,
would you consider not working so hard ?

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Mini-Unblend
◦ Useful esp in beginning to offer new experience with less stress, slows
process down
◦ Helpful if client intellectualizes, fears inner world or body focus, can’t
’stay inside’ for long periods
◦ Offers template for appreciation and awareness
Pause
Let’s just pause, that was so important, helpful…
Breathe
Let’s take a breath together…
Notice
What is coming up as your talk about this, what are you noticing or
aware of right now??
Connect
Can you connect to that part, show it you notice it?
cecesykeslcsw

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Exiles / Despair

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INTRODUCE THE NINTH C


WHAT IF YOU HAD A CHOICE?

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Hope: New way to help


Exiles??
Choice:
The Ninth C

If there was another way


to handle the pain,
would that give you a break??

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WHAT EXILES WANT


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A relationship
attachment, connection
they long for love and care

Be heard and accepted as they are


safety and stability
to know that you will come back to them

Unburdened from old, toxic beliefs


Hear their story (client may not have
been heard) - be their witness

Other parts fear there is no cure for Exiles

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IFS Advantage
After extended using of substances and practices brain is altered
Initiative and attachment are impaired
Pre-frontal cortex-judgment and decision-making = Choice : impaired
“Brain, impaired organ, needs to initiate its own healing process….”
IFS: Building self – to – part connections = accessing mind to heal the
brain

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" J u st l i ke w i t h ex te r n a l e co l o g i e s ,
c h a n ge s i n o n e a s p e c t ca n h ave
u n fo re s e e n co n s e q u e n c e s . T h i s i s Traumatized inner systems
fa r l e s s l i ke l y, h o w e ve r, i f yo u t h i n k are delicate ecologies.
i n te r m s o f syste m s - - t h e n t h e
co n s e q u e n c e s o f te n ca n b e
fo re s e e n a n d p re e m p te d o r d e a l t
w i t h f ro m S e l f "
"NO BAD PARTS" RICHARD SCHWARTZ

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IFS Addictive Process Treatment


Therapist brings Self to client's whole system
Welcome 'Using Firefighters' as protectors with a positive
intention
Build inner relationships
Create new inner connections (neural pathways)
Integrate with professionals and groups
Treat trauma - heal early childhood experiences (Exiles)

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Managing our Vulnerability

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Overview of Model
◦ Create connection; external constraints
◦ Reflect client narrative as “parts”
◦ Vision for therapy
◦ Learn about protectors; track system

◦ Build inner connections


◦ Identify Exiles (vulnerable part)
◦ Witness exile story: compassion
◦ Unburden core beliefs
All Roads Lead to Rome (Exiles)

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" J u st l i ke w i t h ex te r n a l e co l o g i e s ,
c h a n ge s i n o n e a s p e c t ca n h ave
u n fo re s e e n co n s e q u e n c e s . T h i s i s Traumatized inner systems
fa r l e s s l i ke l y, h o w e ve r, i f yo u t h i n k are delicate ecologies.
i n te r m s o f syste m s - - t h e n t h e
co n s e q u e n c e s o f te n ca n b e
fo re s e e n a n d p re e m p te d o r d e a l t
w i t h f ro m S e l f "
"NO BAD PARTS" RICHARD SCHWARTZ

cece sykes lcsw • 2023

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Goals of IFS Therapy


Relationship Building
Ecology of inner world: every protective part has a positive intention;
even negative behavior has adaptive function;
Exiles can be recovered, integrated and unburdened.
Goal of therapy is releasing parts from burdened roles by creating
connections between “Self” and “Parts;” integrates system and
enhances self-awareness through curiosity and non-judgment

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Flow of Therapy: Two-way Street


T-Self

Managers Firefighter
/Soother

SELF
One-way
Client identifies parts

Two-way
Client builds self to part
rel’ship

© cece sykes lcsw


Exiles

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Unburdened parts
pick new roles, adopt new
qualities

Introduce new activities that go hand in hand


with letting go of addictive process.

Parts may feel need to 'catch up' on what was


missed in their lives...healthy ways to
experience adrenaline rush, be unique, be a
rebel

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Role of Therapist in IFS

◦ Build trusting relationship; Same basic history as in any clinical


approach
◦ Listen to their story-what do they need?
◦ Parts Detector: Reflect their states of mind/emotions as parts of
who they are
◦ Pause… Breathe… Notice
◦ What are their intentions for treatment?
◦ Invite to focus internally

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SELF TO PART
HEART TO HEART
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Treatment Considerations
Recovery is a process, not an event.
Expect ups and downs, slow progress, slips, etc.

For clients mandated to therapy, they may have to develop own reason for
being there, might differ from other people's reason for them being there.

Clients with addictive parts often feel helpless, hopeless, despairing.


Therapists need to be aware of their own parts that may come up who
can't tolerate despair...who have caretaker part that activates.

When a client is compulsive and self-destructive, their lack of judgment


pulls for action by the competent, managerial parts of the people around
the client.

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Six F’s of Inner Dialogue: Inquiry

◦ FIND a Part; What do you want to work on?


◦ FOCUS – Center your attention on it
◦ FEEL TOWARD: Curious? Beginners mind?
◦ FIND OUT: Where in body? Do you see it?
What is it showing you?
◦ BE-FRIEND: Dialogue: Intentions? Story?
◦ FEARS: What is Part afraid would happen if it
didn’t perform this role ?

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Common Fears / Reassuring Fears


1. Fear of exile flooding and 1. What if we help exiles not
overwhelming client flood; we can negotiate…
2. No benefit to “looking 2. What if looking back
means relief of pain?
backwards”
3. What if we work so FF is less
3. Might trigger the FF to take risk-taking or chaotic?
over again
4. Reassure, won’t judge;do
4. Therapist will react or reject they have judge part?
them 5. Never getting rid of a part,
5. Managers will lose their giving it options
position 6. Information stays ‘in the
6. Secrets will be exposed to room’
others 7. Decisions by self in
7. External world can’t handle connection, not one part
change

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Five P’s of Self Energy


Perspective-how far you have
come….
Presence-available, accepting…
Persistence-trust the process….
Patience-solid connections pay
off….
Playfulness…..

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Bibliography
◦ Sykes, C.C., Sweezy, M., Schwartz, R.C., (2023) Internal Family
Systems Treatment for Addictions; Trauma-Informed Compassion-
Based Interventions for Substances, Eating, Gambling and More.
PESI Publications.
◦ Schwartz, R.C., Sweezy, M. (2020). Internal Family Systems Therapy,
2nd Edition; New York. NY; Guilford Press
◦ Anderson, F., Sweezy, M., Schwartz, R.C. (2018) Internal Family
Systems, Skills Training Manual. PESI Publications
◦ Sykes, C.C. (2016) “An IFS Lens on Addiction: Compassion for
Extreme Parts,” in Sweezy, M. & Ziskind, E.L. (Eds), IFS Innovations
and Elaborations; New York, NY; Routledge
◦ Sykes, C.C. (2001) “Why I Love My Firefighters,” Self to Self IFSA
Journal, Vol.5 No. 6.

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