SUMMARY

Of

Build the life you want:

The art and science of getting happier

Nick Blue
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Copyright ©2023 by [Nick Blue]

All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording or by any
information storage and retrieval system
without written permission from the
publisher.

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DISCLAIMER
This is a Brief summary of the book
'Build the life you want: the art and science
of getting happier. This Summary book
written by Nick Blue is not meant to
replace the original book in any way, but
rather to serve as a comprehensive summary
of the original book. It acts as a summary to
help the reader understand the original text
better.
Again, the goal of this summary book is to
serve as a study aid for readers to enhance
comprehension and persuade them to buy
the original book for a more in-depth
knowledge.

Copyright © [Nick Blue] 2023

All rights reserved

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Table of Content

OVERVIEW
Chapter One Summary
Keys To Happiness
Faith
Family
Community
Work
The Intentional Life
Chapter Two Summary
Chapter Three Summary
Conclusion

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OVERVIEW

This summary book concisely introduces you

to cutting-edge science and offers enlightening
advice that could change your life. Arthur and
Oprah share their own knowledge and
hard-won wisdom along the way.
The capacity you have to be happy will increase
with each page, and you'll discover fantastic
information that you can't wait to share with
others.

Your road map to a better life is here. This

Summary of Build the Life You Want: the art
and science of getting happier, is a step-by-step
manual for boosting happiness and life
satisfaction that is supported by empirical data.
As opposed to waiting around for happiness to
find you, this book promotes taking an
"intentional approach" to happiness, which
involves making conscious decisions to better
your life.

In addition, this book dispels popular beliefs

that success, riches, good health, or leisure

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bring happiness. According to a study, these

factors only account for roughly 10% of
happiness.
Happiness, as in the book, is the product of a
well-lived life and should not be seen as a goal
in and of itself. The objective is to pursue
meaning rather than enjoyment through faith,
family, community, and job.

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Chapter One Summary

Keys To Happiness
Although happiness is something that
everyone aspires to, not everyone agrees on
what it actually is.
A lasting mental state that encompasses not
just sensations of joy, satisfaction, and other
pleasant feelings, but also the conviction that
one's life is valuable and deserving of
appreciation, is what is known as happiness.

Happiness, a highly desired state of being,

gives us motivation. Not only does happiness
make us feel better, but it also improves our
health. It motivates us to eat better, exercise
more, and rest more.

This book is structured around four pillars that

are keys to happiness: faith, family, community,
and work. One of the authors argues that
building a happy life requires strengthening all
four pillars. This can in turn be crucial for the
sole aim of achieving optimum happiness.

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Faith
The Latin word fides, which in the Roman
world was understood without particular
relation to gods or beliefs, is where the term
"faith" originates. As opposed to this, it was
viewed as a paradoxical combination of
reciprocal ideas: voluntary will and voluntary
restraint in the sense of a father over a family or
a host over a visitor, whereby one party willfully
submits to a party who has the power to hurt
them but chooses not to, so confiding in them.

In the context of religion, the definition of faith

is "belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings
of religion." While those who are more skeptical
of religion sometimes consider faith as nothing
more than blind belief in the absence of
evidence, religious people typically see it as
confidence based on a perceived level of
warrant, or evidence.

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Faith can refer to any belief system that offers

purpose, meaning, and a framework for moral
behavior. It need not necessarily be a religious
belief.

Religion, according to study, considerably

boosts life satisfaction and happiness. Faith
offers fellowship, a feeling of purpose, and a
moral compass. It also functions as a stress,
trauma, and grief barrier. Brooks advises
readers to look into many religions in an effort
to discover one that offers significance.
Because it shapes our identity, existence,
values, hopes, and dreams, faith is
significant.Our daily lives depend heavily on
faith. Take a moment to stand back and
consider faith in the light of hindsight. In
general, people live a lot of their lives with a lot
of faith.

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Family

A family is any two or more people who live

together and are connected by blood, marriage,
or adoption; all of these people are regarded as
belonging to the same family.

One of the most crucial factors in happiness is

having a strong family. Brooks highlights the
importance of marriage, pointing out that
married people enjoy life more. He exhorts
readers to make marriage investments, engage
in fruitful disagreements, and cultivate
enduring love through expressing thanks.

Similar to marriage, an extended family can

benefit a single person. Meaningful family time,
traditions, and shared care promote happy and
fulfilling lives.

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Family's impact on happiness

Family is important in terms of happiness for a
number of reasons:

1. Emotional Support: Family members

frequently act as a solid support system,
bringing consolation, inspiration, and a sense of
community, all of which promote emotional
health and happiness.

2. Social Connection: Family gatherings and

interactions promote social connections, which
lessens feelings of loneliness and improves
overall life satisfaction.

3. Shared Experiences: Family provides

opportunity for shared experiences and
memories that can offer joy and fulfillment.

4. Security and Stability: A secure and

caring family environment can promote
happiness by lowering stress and worry.

5. Unconditional Love: Family members

often provide unconditional love and

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acceptance, boosting self-esteem and overall

happiness.

While family is vital, the quality of family bonds

is more important than the quantity. Positive,
supporting, and caring family interactions have
a greater impact on happiness than simply
having family members around.

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Community
A community is a social entity whose members
share a network. Networks of values, interests,
objectives, and kinship are examples of
common networks that connect communities.

The definition of community is broad. Humans

form social groups to network, exchange
experiences, share resources, and gain strength
in numbers. Communities give a network of
individuals with whom to connect, minimizing
emotions of isolation and loneliness, both of
which are harmful to happiness.
During challenging times, they offer emotional
and practical support, building resilience and
well-being. Being a part of a group with similar
interests or aims can provide a sense of purpose
and fulfillment.
Communities can inspire positive behaviors
and attitudes, promoting personal growth and
happiness.
Ultimately, a strong feeling of community can
improve overall happiness by offering social
support, a sense of belonging, and possibilities
for personal development.

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Social bonds are a fundamental human

requirement. A large body of evidence
demonstrates that social isolation and
loneliness are key risk factors for unhappiness.

Brooks examines the erosion of community in

America and urges for individual action to
restore community. He proposes taking real
measures such as touring your community,
joining local organizations, volunteering, and
inviting people over. Social networking cannot
replace in-person community.

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Work
Work is a very essential aspect of our lives,
contributing to our happiness and well-being in
a variety of ways. For instance, it gives people a
sense of purpose and achievement by allowing
them to establish and achieve goals, which can
increase their self-esteem and contentment.
Financial stability, which is a result of work, is
also important for happiness because it allows
access to fundamental necessities as well as
life's happiness.
Work can also be a source of personal growth
and skill development, boosting self-esteem and
confidence. It greatly adds to our happiness by
giving us a sense of purpose, building social
relationships, assuring financial security,
thereby stimulating personal growth.
Work that is relevant to you can improve your
mental and physical health while also
increasing your overall life satisfaction and
contentment.
Finding a balance between both professional
and private life, as well as choosing occupations
that correspond with one's values, is crucial for
a happier and more fulfilled existence.

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According to a study four elements contribute

to work satisfaction: earning a decent pay,
feeling appreciated, working with lovely people,
and doing meaningful work. Readers are
encouraged to enjoy the good in their work
rather than wishing for the perfect career.
Positive work connections and finding purpose
in your efforts lead to increased job satisfaction.

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The Intentional Life

The book contends that long-term satisfaction
results from the intentional cultivation of
significant patterns — habits of faith, family,
friendship, and work. He discusses
habits-building tactics such as starting small,
scheduling habit time, overcoming hurdles, and
rewarding oneself. Happiness comes from living
your principles intentionally. Budgeting time for
what is most important allows you to create a
life that is in line with your priorities and values.

Living an intentional life entails making

deliberate decisions about how you want to live
and what is actually important to you. It is about
matching your behaviors and decisions to your
values and goals. This deliberate attitude to life
is important for our happiness because it gives
us clarity, purpose, and a greater sense of
fulfillment.

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Benefits of intentional Living

Clarity: We gain a clear grasp of what we want

out of life. This clarity enables us to set
meaningful goals and make decisions that
reflect our true selves. It eliminates ambiguity
and confusion, which can lead to tension and
discontent.

Defined Purpose: Intentional living helps us

to determine our basic beliefs and what makes
us happy. This helps us to pursue projects that
align with our passions and ideals, resulting in
a stronger sense of purpose.

We grow more authentic and true to ourselves

when our authenticity is honored. We value our
personal well-being and happiness over societal
norms or the wants of others. This genuineness
promotes self-acceptance and a sense of
fulfillment.

Relationships thrive: Intentional living extends

to our relationships, where we choose to invest

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time and energy in the relationships that are

most important to us. This can lead to more
meaningful and deeper relationships, which are
a big source of happiness.

Building Resilience: By living consciously, we

are better prepared to face life's obstacles. We
have a solid foundation of values and purpose
to help us navigate challenging situations,
increasing our resilience and overall well-being.

In essence, intentional living is about living in

accordance with your beliefs and priorities
rather than passively allowing life to happen to
you. It gives you the ability to chart your own
course, make decisions that reflect your true
self, and eventually lead to a more meaningful
and rewarding existence which in turn,
contributes significantly to your overall
happiness.

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Chapter Two Summary

How Can You Be Happier?

Overall, the book is a helpful, evidence-based

guide to taking meaningful ways to boost
pleasure in all aspects of life. The authors'
advice which is based on substantial study, is
still provided in an understandable manner.
They effectively contend that intentional
cultivation of the pillars of faith, family,
friendship, and meaningful employment leads
to pleasure. Small improvements in your daily
behaviors can lead to a life of meaning and
fulfillment.

This book maintains that with time and work,

anyone can be happier - there is no quick fix.
Certain efforts must be taken in order to
experience "happiness" in its entirety.
Understanding what happiness is and isn't,
practical metacognition, choosing better
emotions, focusing less on yourself, forming
your imperfect family, and many other steps are
all necessary for this aim.

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i. Understand what happiness is

— and isn't
Happiness, the authors suggest, is a
combination of three important elements:
satisfaction, enjoyment, and purpose.
Furthermore, they emphasize that happiness is
not defined by the absence of unhappiness;
unhappiness is an integral element of being
human. In fact, "becoming happier necessitates
accepting unhappiness in our lives as well." To
put it another way, "be grateful for the bees, not
just the honey."
Satisfaction, enjoyment, and purpose are three
interwoven factors that contribute considerably
to creating happiness in our lives.
Satisfaction entails feeling pleased and fulfilled
with our existing circumstances and
accomplishments. It is the sense of
accomplishment that comes from achieving
both large and minor goals and aspirations.

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When we are satisfied, we find joy in what we

have and where we are in life, which contributes
to our overall happiness.

The term "enjoyment" refers to the daily

pleasures and happiness that we obtain from
numerous activities, experiences, and
relationships. It's about experiencing life's basic
pleasures, relishing laughing, and finding joy in
what we do. Enjoyment adds layers of joy to our
daily lives, making them more colorful and
rewarding.

Purpose extends beyond the ego to consider the

larger influence and significance of our actions.
It's about having a purpose and contributing to
something bigger than ourselves.

We enjoy significant and long-lasting

happiness when we live with purpose, whether
through our career, relationships, or personal
activities.

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In conclusion, happiness is built on the

foundations of pleasure, enjoyment, and
purpose. Satisfaction comes from being content
with our accomplishments, while enjoyment
comes from being happy in the present
moment, and purpose gives our lives meaning
and fulfillment. Together, they produce a
well-rounded and deeply satisfying sense of
enjoyment that meaningfully enriches our lives.

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ii. Practical Metacognition

The conscious awareness and management of
one's cognitive processes in real-world
conditions is referred to as practical
metacognition. It entails becoming aware of
how you think and then applying that
awareness to better your learning,
problem-solving, and decision-making abilities
in real-world situations. Self-monitoring,
self-regulation, and self-reflection are examples
of practical metacognition tasks in which
individuals analyze their own thought
processes, identify areas for development, and
make adjustments to improve cognitive
function.
It is a valuable ability for personal and
professional development since it can lead to
more effective learning, better decision-making,
and improved problem-solving abilities in a
variety of situations.
You can't choose your feelings, but you can
choose how you respond to them. How?
Through metacognition, which is the conscious
experience of your emotions – taking a step
back and observing them rather than reacting
reflexively. "Between the conditions around you

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and your response to them is space to think and

make decisions," they write. "You have freedom
in this space."

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iii. Choose Better Emotions

Choosing a better emotion entails making a
conscious decision to move one's emotional
state toward more positive feelings, even under
difficult situations. This helps to happiness by
allowing us to face challenges with
perseverance and hope. We can improve our
overall well-being, strengthen relationships,
and find contentment even in the midst of
hardship by consciously choosing feelings such
as gratitude, generosity, or hope. In essence, the
ability to choose our emotions allows us to
shape our own happiness.

You can make an attempt to choose healthier

feelings once you are able to recognize them
with some distance. "There is more than one
reasonable way to feel about the situation at
hand," the book says. The problem is that we
frequently have to deal with our own negativity
bias - a normal human inclination to focus on

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the negative considerably more than the

positive.

They claim that focusing on appreciation is the

most effective method to overcome this
prejudice. Keep a gratitude list to keep in mind
yourself.

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iv. Focus less on yourself

Focusing less on oneself can be a powerful way
to happiness. It redirects our focus from
self-centeredness to a broader view of the world
and our place in it. We often discover a deeper
sense of fulfillment and joy by shifting our
attention outward, towards the needs and
well-being of others.
When we are less obsessed with our own
desires and problems, we open the door to
meaningful interactions and acts of kindness.
This can lead to healthier connections, a sense
of purpose, and a sense of belonging to
something bigger than ourselves.
Furthermore, moving outside of our own fears
and anxieties might bring relief from the
burdens of self-doubt and self-criticism.
It enables us to see the big picture and
appreciate life's small and large blessings.
Essentially, focusing less on ourselves allows us
to experience the wonders of empathy,
compassion, and gratitude. It develops a sense
of connectivity with the world, which frequently
leads to a more meaningful and permanent type
of happiness centered in our relationships and
contributions to the well-being of others.

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v. Build your imperfect Family

Imperfections are an inherent part of every
family, and accepting them can lead to a more
authentic and fulfilling feeling of happiness.
There is room for sincerity and acceptance in an
imperfect family. It entails accepting that no
one is perfect, including parents, children, and
other family members. We create an
environment where love and understanding can
thrive by respecting one other's defects and
quirks.
Communication becomes essential in such
homes. Open and honest dialogues can aid in
the resolution of problems and disagreements.
It is critical to create a safe environment in
which everyone feels heard and appreciated,
creating trust and emotional connection.
There is no such thing as a conflict-free family.
The authors offer suggestions for resolving that
conflict, such as not taking others' negativity
personally; preventing unhappy family
members from spreading their negativity (this
may require "strategic avoidance" of that
person); learning to forgive (forgiveness is "the
secret weapon in all families"); and practicing
honesty (start by being honest with yourself).

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Imperfect families value meaningful time

together as well. Happiness is greatly enhanced
by shared experiences, laughing, and the
creation of cherished memories. It's about
making the most of your time and cherishing
the special ties you have.
Finally, forming an imperfect family with the
aim of happiness involves accepting that
happiness is about love, connection, resilience,
and progress rather than perfection.
Imperfections are what make a family uniquely
human, and accepting them can lead to a
profound and long-lasting sense of satisfaction
and fulfillment.

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vi. Forge "deeply real" Friendships

The differences between "deal friends" and
"real friends" are investigated in this segment.
The book provides helpful insights into how our
relationships affect our happiness and
well-being.
This portion of the book assists readers in
identifying the slight but major differences
between these two forms of friendships. "Deal
friends" are people with whom we have a
transactional relationship, which is generally
motivated by utility or convenience. While they
serve their purpose, they may not provide us
long-term delight or comfort.
In contrast, "real friends" are those that enrich
our lives with genuine emotional attachments,
trust, and meaningful connections. They are the
ones who stick by us through thick and thin,
providing unshakable support and love.
The authors encourage readers to think about
their own friendships, pushing them to make a
list and label each friend as a "deal" or "real"
buddy. This practice is an excellent place to
start when it comes to self-discovery and
self-awareness.

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The book's heart is in its emphasis on taking

concrete steps to foster and prioritize genuine
friendships. The writers emphasize the value of
face-to-face contacts, emphasizing that
meaningful friendships necessitate physical
presence.
They warn against relying only on technology,
underlining that screens will never be able to
replace the warmth and genuineness of real
contact.
This ideology doesn't just stop at identifying
these relationships; it guides readers in making
concrete plans to invest more time and effort
into their real friendships. It encourages
readers to cherish and cultivate these
connections, fostering deeper bonds that bring
lasting joy, comfort, and a profound sense of
fulfillment.

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vii. Perform meaningful Work

The book's authors dive into the subject of
finding contentment and fulfillment in our
work, even if our dream employment is out of
reach. They acknowledge that not everyone has
the luxury of choosing their dream job, but they
highlight that there are paths to genuine
happiness in any industry.
The search for intrinsic benefits within the
arena of work is at the center of this debate.
The authors encourage readers to look beyond
money and power as the sole measures of
success. Instead, they encourage people to find
fulfillment in their work by concentrating on
two key aspects:
1. Earned Success: The concept of earned
success is upon reaching goals and successes
through personal work and merit. It's the sense
of accomplishment that comes from knowing
we've worked hard and accomplished
something worthwhile. Whether it's completing
a difficult job, assisting a customer, or making a
beneficial influence in our community, earned
success transcends external acknowledgment
and taps into our internal motivation.

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2. Service to Others: Serving others is another

way to find meaningful work. It adds a deeper
degree of fulfillment when we find methods to
contribute to the well-being of others through
our work. Acts of service can range from
mentoring coworkers to solving societal
concerns through one's career.
Making a positive difference in the lives of
others, according to the writers, can be one of
the most rewarding aspects of any work.
Furthermore, the writers issue a warning
concerning work addiction. They remind
readers that our identities are not defined
exclusively by our work titles or professional
accomplishments. It serves as a reminder to
maintain a healthy work-life balance in order to
preserve our well-being and relationships
outside of work.
In summary, the authors advise readers to
reevaluate their approach to work and look for
new ways to find genuine joy and fulfillment in
their jobs. It emphasizes the significance of
obtaining intrinsic advantages, earned
achievement, and service to others while
maintaining a healthy sense of self outside of
one's workplace.

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viii. Embrace Faith for a Happier Life

The authors describe the fundamental
connection between faith, spirituality, and
happiness in this captivating subtopic, which is
substantiated by empirical findings. They give
light on how accepting transcendental beliefs
and experiences can improve our overall
well-being.
The discussion begins by accepting scientific
evidence that imply transcendental beliefs are
important in our pursuit of happiness. The
writers argue that by focusing on religious or
spiritual practices, we open ourselves up to a
broader view on life, one that stretches beyond
the everyday problems and concerns that often
absorb our thoughts.
The premise at the center of this investigation is
that these practices allow us to transcend the
commonplace and connect with something
larger than ourselves—the "majesties of the
universe." This shift in perspective allows us to
get a more profound and accurate
understanding of life while also helping us to
see the awe-inspiring grandeur of the cosmos.

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The writers dive into numerous essential facets

of this life-changing journey:

1. Transcendental views: The authors

underline the importance of having
perspectives that go beyond the material world.
Faith in a higher force, spiritual conceptions, or
the interconnectedness of all living beings bring
about peace and clarity.
2. Spiritual activities: They also emphasize
the need of engaging in spiritual activities that
help us to connect with the transcendent. These
practices may include meditation, prayer,
mindfulness, or acts of selflessness, all of which
can provide great insight and serenity.
3. Broadened Perspective: By focusing our
attention on the magnificence of the universe,
we obtain a sense of perspective that can help
us negotiate life's obstacles with greater
resilience.
It serves as a reminder that there is more to life
than our immediate concerns.
In essence, this subtopic encourages readers to
investigate the transformative power of faith
and spirituality in their pursuit of happiness,
emphasizing how accepting transcendental

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beliefs and experiences can bring comfort,

perspective, and a greater connection to the
beauty of the cosmos, ultimately leading to a
more meaningful and contented life.

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Chapter Three Summary

Teaching others what you've learned about
"happiness": A path to Personal Fulfillment

Sharing our knowledge and experiences about

happiness with others can be a profoundly
rewarding endeavor, both for those we teach
and for ourselves. This section explores how
teaching what we've learned about happiness
contributes to our own sense of fulfillment and
well-being.

1. Deeper Understanding: Teaching others

forces us to articulate and clarify our own
thoughts and beliefs about happiness. It
requires us to reflect on our experiences and
distill the key principles that have contributed
to our own well-being. In doing so, we deepen
our understanding of what truly makes us
happy.
2. Encourages Gratitude: When we teach
others about happiness, we frequently find
ourselves feeling grateful for the knowledge and
experiences that brought us to this insight. This
thankfulness, which reminds us of the great

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parts of our lives, can be a tremendous source

of happiness itself.
3. Builds Relationships: Often, teaching
about happiness means making meaningful
connections with others. These connections can
lead to stronger bonds and a sense of purpose
from supporting others on their paths to
happiness, whether through mentoring,
coaching or simply having meaningful
conversations.
4. Belief Validation: Seeing the good
influence your lessons have on the lives of
others can validate your own views about
happiness. Seeing others experience joy and
fulfillment as a result of your instruction
reinforces the value of these ideas in your own
life.
5. Contribution to a Greater Purpose:
Teaching about happiness allows you to impact
the lives of others. When you help others
achieve happiness, you are actively making a
positive impact on the world, which may be
quite fulfilling.
6. Continuous Learning: Teaching is a
two-way street that includes both transmitting
knowledge and learning from the opinions and

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experiences of others. This discipline of

continual learning keeps us interested and open
to personal progress, which adds to our
happiness
7. A sense of accomplishment: Seeing
substantial changes in the lives of those you
teach can be tremendously rewarding. Knowing
you've helped someone else in their quest for
happiness offers you a sense of success, which
increases your own sense of well-being.
8. Happiness Reciprocity: The act of
teaching happiness frequently creates a cycle of
reciprocity. When you help others discover
happiness, they may share their thoughts and
experiences with you, strengthening your own
path to happiness.
In summary, teaching people about happiness
is both an altruistic and immensely
self-fulfilling effort. It enables us to deepen our
understanding, strengthen our connections,
and contribute to a broader purpose, all of
which can considerably improve our own
pleasure and sense of fulfillment. So, whether
through mentoring, writing, public speaking, or
simply engaging in meaningful discussions,
sharing what we've learned about happiness

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can be a transformational and gratifying

experience for both ourselves and those we
educate.
After you've processed the lessons above, share
them. While doing so, be candid about your
own struggles and anguish ("your pain gives
you credibility, and your progress makes you an
inspiration").

The only thing that multiplies when shared is

happiness! How lovely is that? It truly does
multiply, and it doesn't require a lot of effort or
a lot of money to accomplish. Simple gestures
such as a smile, a motivating word, a note, a
comforting embrace, or even a meal can go a
long way.
“Happiness multiplies when we share it,”
Winfrey notes in her conclusion. “I hope this
book lets your sharing begin.”

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Conclusion
No matter how difficult your circumstances
may be, You're welcome to start your journey
toward better happiness by reading the book
"Build the Life You Want: the art and science of
getting happier".
Instead of waiting for the outer world to
change, this book demonstrates how to improve
your life right away by utilizing cutting-edge
science and the many years of experience
assisting people in putting ideas into practice by
the original authors.
The authors of the book explain how using the
techniques of emotional self-management may
instantly improve your life with understanding,
compassion, and hope. In order to develop, the
four pillars of happiness—family, friendship,
work and faith are recommended
research-based practices to achieve this aim.
Along the way, they impart advice they have
worked hard to gain from their own experiences
in life and work, as well as the testimonies of
everyday people whose lives are full of joy
despite obstacles and adversity.

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If you're willing to develop your four pillars

utilizing the techniques of emotional
self-management, you may take control of your
present and future rather than hoping and
waiting for things to change.
In Build the Life You Want, you will find your
game plan for a better existence. Discover the
secret to better happiness by grabbing a copy of
the original book.

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