Ellie Cavendish

11/12/2022
EQ Reflection…then to now

Our engagement with others, with ourselves, and with the world around us all originates
from our emotional intelligence. Some of my most fond memories of working through
leadership theory and practice was on the unit we shared covering emotional intelligence.
As the queen herself, Brene Brown, says, “when the heart is open and free and we’re
connected to our emotions, new worlds open up for us, including better decision making
and critical thinking, and the powerful experiences of empathy, self-compassion, and
resilience” (Brown, 2018). At the core of our being are our feelings, thoughts, and
emotions…it’s probably a good idea to get in tune with them. The EQ assessment curates a
profile that allows you to reflect on an overview of your internal experience or what goes
on inside of you as you participate in relationships where you are being challenged and you
feel some degree of stress…it is a snapshot of you in conflict.

Sophomore year Ellie was 19 years old and going through a pretty rough time, but I think
we all were…in the midst of COVID there was so much pent up anxiety and long held
thoughts of loneliness and depression. And in reflecting on this assessment from then to
now, it is really cool to see where I was at in that point of my life and then compare that
version of myself to who I am now and really see the growth I’ve made. As I have been
compiling this project, I’ve been sharing bits and pieces of what I have learned and
expanded on with my best friend and just the other day she responded by saying, “I can
really see so much growth in everyday living with you and I love that this project reflects
you seeing it in yourself. So proud of you.” When I started CLP I was a very nervous,
anxious, and closed-off person. I never liked letting people in or see my true, authentic self
but CLP, some therapy, and my best friends all helped me mature and flourish in ways I
couldn't have ever imagined.

So when sophomore year Ellie took this EQ assessment, she never could have predicted the
impact it would have on her life. In my reflection back then I wrote,
 “my access to range of feelings scored fairly low. It is interesting to see the
connection here between my dimensions of self-reflection and access to feelings. I
overaccess anxiety, fear, and sadness. This isn’t exactly surprising; it is evident to
me that these emotions are very prevalent when I encounter stress and conflict. I
think of myself like a snail in this sense. I am very slow to anger, easy-going, and I
don’t like to rock the boat or create conflict, but when I run into a stressful point of
conflict I revert back into my shell. This often leads to me suppressing my feelings,
while at the same time being very in tune to the emotions of others. “
I have come so far. Especially, in this final semester of CLP our work through adaptive
challenges and Brene Brown’s research and text on vulnerability and daring leadership, I
am a much more confident, secure, brave, happy human. I used to be so scared to speak my
mind. I wouldn’t often share in class and I would go with the majority opinion. But now, I
form my own thoughtful conclusions, am not afraid of voicing the dissenting opinion, and
honestly talk a little bit too much in class . It is really such a unique and special
opportunity to be able to work through this content, material, and curriculum during this
phase of our lives as young adults emerging into post-grad adulthood.