Empathic Listening Case Study

Here are two dialogues that might take place in a counsellor’s office. Each counsellor is speaking with
Eve, a young female student whose mother has breast cancer. This is not her first visit to see the
counsellor. For simplicity, we will refer to the two counsellors involved as Jim and Joan.

Dialogue #1

Jim: (smiling at Eve) So how are you doing today, Eve?

Eve: My mom has been sick for long. I am starting to think she will never get well. I don’t know how
much longer I can stay positive.

Jim: Eve, I’m sure your mother is going to get better. Try to stay positive and strong, I know you can.

(subtractive)

Eve: But this has been going on for so long. I thought her doctor would have made her well by now.

Jim: Eve, your father has told me that the doctor is very good so I don’t think you should be
questioning that he is doing everything possible for your mom. You need to have faith in him.

(subtractive)

Eve: But he doesn’t seem to be able to fix her!

Jim: How long has your mother been sick now, Eve?

(basic, interchangeable)

Eve: Ten months.

Jim: Sometimes it takes longer than we think to make someone well. Is there anything you could do
to try to take your mind of your mom being sick? Maybe spend more time with friends? Join a
club or a team?

(additive)

Eve: None of those things interest me. I just want my mom to get better.

Jim: She will. She is getting the best care in this area.

(subtractive)
Dialogue #2

Joan: (in a gentle tone) So how are doing today, Eve? I have been thinking about you.

Eve: My mom has been sick for long. I am starting to think she will never get well. I don’t know how
much longer I can stay positive.

Joan It must be really hard for you to see her be so sick.

(slightly additive)

Eve: It is. I am starting to lose hope.

Joan: You seem to be very discouraged.

(basic, interchangeable)

Eve: (begins to cry, nods head in response)

Joan: (waits for a few minutes to see if Eve will speak) What can I do to help?

(additive)

Eve: It helps me just to talk to you. Her doctor tells me not to worry so much about her and my dad
says to try to stay positive but I can’t help it!

Joan: It sounds like the people around you are trying to make you feel better instead of trying to
understand how painful it is for you to see your mother so sick.

(slightly additive)

Eve: I don’t blame the doctor, I know he is doing everything he can. And I’m not upset with my dad.
I just get so fed up with how long it is taking for her to get well again.

Joan: This is a very natural reaction.

(subtractive)

Task:

Which of these dialogues is the better example of empathic listening?

Dialogue 2 is a far better response—i.e., it shows empathic listening.

Support your choice and try to make reference to the empathic dimensions in your answer.
By taking a look at each of the dialogues, the dimensions for each comment made by the counselors has
been qualified. The majority of responses made in dialogue 2 are additive while those in dialogue 1 are
subtractive.

Although the counselor in dialogue 1 has made 1 additive comment, he’s not conveying enough positive
regard, warmth and congruency to make the client feel like they’re being heard. The converse is true in
dialogue 2.