Bài chữa writing VSPACE

Topic: Today more people are overweight than ever before. Some believe it is the
government’s responsibility to tackle the situation, while others argue for
individual self-care.
Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
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Due to the ubiquity of sweetened beverages and cheap fast food chains, the globe has
to face a big fat crisis - a debated issue whether it is to profoundly blame the
government or individual self-management. In this essay, both views will be cited
with reliable evidence.

Obviously, one of the paramount determinants to the obesity pandemic these days are
the government’s low tax on junk food and its disappointingly superficial
intervention. Reportedly, the paramount consumers of sugary products and unhealthy
food are those with lower income in the society; therefore, if these junk foods are
imposed significantly higher tax, should the government limit their availability and
accessibility. As a consequence, consumption will decrease remarkably. Furthermore,
the authorities still have not taken thorough consideration into this problem, for
instance, a noticeably efficient measure against the big fat pandemic. Instead of
educating people about the potentially hazardous effects of obesity on their health and
the future generation via social media and campaigns, the government nearly has not
taken any manipulative action to tackle this problem, making the nation a food
swamp. This, consequently, leads to a rocket in the number of overweight people.

Nevertheless, individual self-care is another component attributing to the obesity

pandemic, due to their procrastination for a healthy diet and their laziness to keep
fit. In spite of the awareness of the obesity risks, such is a hectic schedule that fast
foods and caffeine beverages appear to be tempting to people as it is significantly
time-saving. This leads to their hesitation to prepare their own meal, which noticeably
benefits their health. Furthermore, with an upward trend for sedentary lifestyle after
covid 19 lockdown, people are seemingly too lazy to take up sports and start a strict
regime. As a result, not only does the “eating more doing less” trend impair people’s
endurance, it also undermines society's health.

In conclusion, in the midst of a big fat crisis, it is of both government’s

responsibilities and individual self-efficacy; unless this pandemic is tackled
immediately, should the global economy deteriorate and society’s vulnerability to life-
threatening illnesses increase.

→ You should take sides here even when it is obvious that both are of equal
importance → Example: The government has a duty to make healthy alternatives
more readily accessible, whereas it is the individuals themselves that have to make the
leap and opt for a healthier lifestyle (...)

Some references:
 1. The science is in: Exercise isn’t the best way to lose weight
2. Why eating healthy is so expensive in America
3. How Brands Like Domino's Profit From School Lunch
4. COCA-COLA LIVES HERE (People Drink 2.2 Liters PER DAY)
5. The Rise Of $12 Salads

Rewrite:

Due to the ubiquity of sweetened beverages and processed food, the globe potentially
has to face an obesity pandemic. Some people claim that the government should take
responsibility for this issue, while others argue that individual self-management is
profoundly to blame. From my perspective, both sides, which will be discussed in this
essay, are of duty to tackle this alarming situation

Obviously, one of the most significant determinants to this pandemic are the
government’s low tax on junk food and lack of attention. Reportedly, as other sources
of food, such as the organic and healthy ones, are relatively unaffordable, in addition
to a remarkably low tax imposed on unhealthy food and soft drink, their major
consumers are the lower income in the society. Therefore, should the authority have a
double approach, both impose higher tax on processed food and subsidize healthy
one, it would witness a significant decrease in the consumption of fast food.
Moreover, the health policymakers still have not got any effective
countermeasures against this issue. Not only is obesity cursorily mentioned at science
lessons at school, but it is also briefly informed to people via televisions, which leads
to people’s ambiguity of a potentially hazardous obesity pandemic they are going to
face in the near future. This, ultimately, even sees a rocket in the number of
overweight people over the world.

Nevertheless, individual self-management is also a vital component attributing to the

obesity crisis, due to their procrastination for a healthy diet and laziness to do
exercise. In spite of being fully aware of health deterioration and unpredictable risk to
their future generation, people still deliberately prefer fast foods and sugar sweetened
beverages when it comes to meal choice. Consequently, the calories in are much
significantly higher, leading to potential chronic diseases such as diabetes and high
blood pressure. What’s more, affected noticeably by the post covid-19 lockdown,
people have a tendency to live in a so-called sedentary lifestyle. Although workout
videos on social media platforms are ubiquitous these days, they still opt for lying and
sleeping instead of doing exercise. As a result, the “eat more do less” trend has
undermined people’s endurance and made them prone to ailments.

In conclusion, in the midst of an obesity pandemic, both entities are to be responsible.

The government has to take supportive policies into thorough consideration in order to
subsidize healthy foods, making them readily accessible to lower income groups,
when individuals should make a suitable choice of foods and opt for a healthier
lifestyle. This substantially results in a slump in the number of obesed people.