Lauren Morris

November 30, 2023

Final Analysis

When I first decided to go to nursing school, I had no idea that I was about to embark on

such a transformative journey. Nursing school has not only equipped me with the knowledge of

medicine and how to care for patients, but it has also instilled values, tested my perseverance,

gifted me relationships that will last a lifetime, and provided me confidence that I never had

before.

Back in 2020, I was a baby nursing student with the bare minimum of knowledge about

nursing care. I worked as a PCT on a medical surgical unit; however, I had dreams of working in

the emergency department. I was so eager to attend our competencies clinical in the

emergency department at Memorial Regional Medical Center. I had no idea what to expect. I

vividly remember the nerves I felt walking through those doors for the first time. There was a

cardiac arrest that came in, and my instructor placed me in the corner of the room to observe.

As the entire team worked seamlessly on this patient, my eyes were wide in awe of the

effectiveness and knowledge of the nursing staff. I barely spoke a word, as I was so anxious and

was too scared to touch anything. I mainly observed the entire day and thought to myself, “how

am I ever going to be able to do any of this!” Although this experience gave me a sense of

purpose, I suffered with a bit of imposter syndrome, as I constantly told myself that I wasn’t the

type of person who could become successful in the emergency room. I saw the emergency

room staff as rockstars and saw myself no better than a fly on the wall. I always had a voice in
the back of my head telling me that I am too clumsy, too disorganized, and not good enough to

become successful.

If only I could tell that past version of myself that I would not only become an advanced

ED tech but also become hired as a new grad nurse in that very same emergency room—but

then I wouldn’t have stumbled my way through finding my place in the healthcare world for the

couple of years in between. It is no secret that I have spent more time at BSMCON than the

average student in this nursing program. I had to medically withdraw at the very end of my

second semester due to exacerbation of my OCD and depression. I spent a considerable

amount of time working on my mental health and the faculty at the school supported me and

cheered me on the entire time. When I came back, I felt like I was finally on track and had an

incredible sense of self-worth, but then my mother died unexpectedly. I took a semester off to

grieve, and honestly the grief hasn’t gone away. I don’t think it ever will. Learning to navigate

the robust course load that nursing school brings was a significant challenge—again with the

support of my peers and faculty, I rose above and became active in the school community. As

vice president of the Student Nurses’ Association as well as a college ambassador and college

buddy, I found my voice and began exploring leadership roles that are important to healthcare.

As my confidence in my nursing care grew, my relationships with my peers expanded.

My peers pushed me to pursue my dream and conquer my fear of working in the emergency

department. I took the leap and immersed myself into learning everything I could to be the best

I could be. Flash forward to this semester, I was placed in the same emergency room for my

immersion clinical hours. Towards the end of my immersion, a cardiac arrest came in and was

assigned to my preceptor and I. For a split second, I had a wave of overwhelming fear and
doubt in myself, however I brushed that aside, focused on what I knew, and decided how to

best care for this patient. I found myself becoming one of those rockstars I observed a few

years back. I was a part of the team, communicating, administering medications, documenting,

and assisting in resuscitation. After the code, I was emotional because that was the point in

which I realized that I had grown significantly—not only in my nursing knowledge and skills, but

as person. Nursing school has gifted me confidence and an extreme sense of purpose and I am

so happy with the person that I am today because of it. I am still clumsy and disorganized, but I

am good enough to be successful in the nursing world because of the skills and knowledge

BSMCON has instilled in me.

Assessment of situations, attentiveness for detail, and advocacy of patients are all areas

of strength that I have seen exponentially improve throughout my clinical hours, and I can’t

wait to improve on them some more as a nurse. As a new grad nurse, there are many areas for

growth. Timeliness, time management, and workflow are all something I heavily worked on

throughout immersion and still need to work on as I progress. These are skills I expect to

improve with time.

Overall, I am exceptionally proud of the work I have done on myself, academically, and

in this program. I am eager for my future as a nurse and can’t wait to see what becomes of it. I

am forever grateful for Bon Secours Memorial College of Nursing for giving me lifelong

knowledge and memories that I will take with me in my nursing practice.