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Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:
Multi
Fandom:
原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)

Relationships:
Venti/Xiao | Alatus (Genshin Impact), Kong | Aether &
Venti (Genshin Impact), Minor or Background
Relationship(s), Arataki Itto/Gorou, Kaedehara
Kazuha/Scaramouche/Shikanoin Heizou, Tartaglia |
Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact), but like zhonglis never
seen, childes just a simp, Alhaitham/Kaveh (Genshin
Impact) (mentioned)

Characters:
Venti (Genshin Impact), Xiao | Alatus (Genshin Impact),
Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Kaeya (Genshin
Impact), Diluc (Genshin Impact), Kong | Aether
(Genshin Impact), Amber (Genshin Impact), Albedo
(Genshin Impact), Background & Cameo Characters,
Arataki Itto, Gorou (Genshin Impact), Kaedehara
Kazuha, Shikanoin Heizou, Ying | Lumine (Genshin
Impact), Scaramouche (Genshin Impact)
Additional Tags:
Chatting & Messaging, Humor, Attempt at Humor,
Innuendo, Dirty Jokes, Pining Venti (Genshin Impact),
Established Relationship, Inspired by Music, Xiao |
Alatus is Bad at Feelings (Genshin Impact), Light Angst,
Author Is Sleep Deprived, Alternate Universe -
College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting,
Partying, Alcohol, just wild hijinks, a chatfic but w
actual writing sometimes, Venti-centric (Genshin
Impact), just realized this is my 50th work in my
genshin fic series, slay, is it obvious im genz and grew
up on tumblr

Language:
English
Series:
← Previous Work ● Part 50 of yuki's collection of genshin
stories. ● Next Work →, Part 1 of i got my thrill, now get
me off of this ride. ● Next Work →
Stats:
Published: 2023-03-30 Completed: 2023-04-05
Words: 12,772 Chapters: 7/7 Comments: 11
Kudos: 148 Bookmarks: 14 Hits: 2,002

hello little gay people

in my phone
yukimor
Summary:
Xiao: no thank you, but i appreciate the
sentiment. kazuha and i bought the
beer after he somehow managed to
sneak edibles out of his dorm and into
the party.

Diluc: Is that why half of the party was

high?

Kazuha: I did not expect that everyone

would want to try them. I will make
more and bring them next time.

Childe: WHAT THE FUCK

Aether: oh no

A college groupchat full of dumbasses,

a school pride celebration, and one
pining Venti. What can actually go
wrong? (A ton of things, usually.)

Chapter 1: SHUT UP ITS THE

FUCKING AESTHETIC HE HAS
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

literally the entire pride flag

9:36 AM

Aether: GOOD MORNINGGGG EVERYONE

Lumine: good morning.

Venti: OOOOO YAY YOURE BOTH UP GOODDD MORNING

Aether: okay honestly i didn’t expect you to be awake rn

like especially not after what happened last night with
that fucking party!

Venti: IM ONLY AWAKE BECAUSEEEE. I HAD AN ENERGY

DRINK!!!! AND JUST DRANK IT!!!!

Kaeya: wtf why is my phone vibrating at 9 in the

goddamn am my head HURTS

Albedo: you shouldn’t have had all of that beer then.

Kaeya: IT WAS GOOD WHAT THE HELL???

Kaeya: whoever brought it…i love you lets make out

Xiao: it was me.

Kaeya: XIAO LETS MAKE OUT :wink:

Aether: he did not just attempt to type out an emoji

right now in this groupchat

Xiao: no thank you, but i appreciate the sentiment.

kazuha and i bought the beer after he somehow
managed to sneak edibles out of his dorm and into the
party.

Diluc: Is that why half of the party was high?

Kazuha: I did not expect that everyone would want to

try them. I will make more and bring them next time.

Childe: WHAT THE FUCK

Aether: oh no

Childe: WHO DREW A DICK ON MY FACE WITH

SHARPIE?????

Venti: LMAOOOOOOOOOO

Aether: STOPPP YOURE DEADASS?

[ Childe sent an image. ]

Kaeya: LOLLLLL IT WASNT ME

Xiao: i doubt it was me..or anyone for that matter. we

were all incredibly drunk, high, or both. i also doubt that
many of us are up at this hour unless we’re going to
class.

Childe: I SWEAR TO GOD I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF

YOU???? CONFESS??

Kazuha: Perhaps I should wake Heizou up and get him

to investigate for you?

Childe: YES?!?!?!!?

Aether: wait wdym wake heizou up hes not ur

roommate...deadass isnt scaramouche ur roommate

Kazuha: He’s not here, he had an early morning class.

Heizou is currently with me in my bed.

Venti: FUCKING PAUSE

Aether: pausing!

Venti: IN YOUR BED??? GOOD SIR WHAT

Kazuha: I believe we may have had too much to drink

last night and when we decided to leave the party lest it
get shut down by college security, we ended up coming
back to my dorm and collapsing together on the bed.

Venti: oh so nothing ba

Kazuha: However, I believe I am missing my shirt, and

it may currently be on him. Both of our pants are also
missing.

Kaeya: HOLY SHITTTT???

Venti: YOU SLEPT WITH HEIZOU????? HEIZOU,

CRIMINAL LAW MAJOR, THE BOY YOUVE HAD A CRUSH
ON FOR THE PAST. aether how long was it

Aether: LIKE THREE MONTHS

Venti: FOR THE PAST THREE MONTHS????

Lumine: so you slept with heizou..while you were both

drunk.

Kazuha: and I had a bit too much of those edibles.

Lumine: dear god.

Venti: i am so fucking proud of you, kazuha!!!!! WAS

THE DICK GOOD

Childe: WHY ARE WE FORGETTING THE FACT SOMEONE

DREW A DICK ON MY FACE?

Kazuha: Very.

Kaeya: YOOOOOO

Aether: HOLY SHIT LMAOOO

Venti: fucking tea, bitch.

Xiao: i can barely remember last night if i’m honest. i’m

pretty sure i passed out halfway through and woke up
just before six and came back to my dorm before passing
out again.

Amber: YOU GUYS HAD A PARTY WITHOUT ME???

Venti: whoops!

Aether: do you want the tea yes or no

Amber: YES

Aether: okay so like the gist was. we were all gonna go

to venti’s dorm place because its the farthest from the
main building and college security hates us all so we
decided to make sure we were SUPERRR far away so
they wouldnt get on our ass, right

Aether: we call EVERYONE we know whos free and

suddenly venti’s dorm and the building is just SWARMED
with people and xiao brought beer and kazuha brought
weed and im deadass sure that gorou and itto brought
this big stereo which played all of the music

Amber: and somehow security didnt hear it?

Venti: JEAN WAS AT THE PARTY AND YOU KNOW SHE

HAD THE COLLEGE WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER

Aether: it was actually Fucking Insane

Xiao: besides kazuha and heizou, was there anyone else

who ended up with each other?

Kaeya: def saw that kamisato girl and the girl who
brought the firecrackers leave super early

Amber: FIRECRACKERS?

Aether: oh yeah yoimiya brought a whole box of

firecrackers and we were leavin the building to light them
on the ground and shit it was HILARIOUS

Kazuha: I believe Itto threw a firecracker into the

fountain and got Gorou, me, Thoma, and Beidou covered
in water.

Kazuha: Also, Heizou is now awake and reading our

messages.

Kazuha: Childe, he says that he’ll ‘get on the case

immediately’.

Childe: THANK GOD

Lumine: it was quite the night.

Xiao: agreed.

Venti: cannot believe we somehow got jean, diluc, even

ningguang, and zhongli at the party bro

Diluc: I’ll admit that it was a very fun night. I didn’t

believe that I could drink so much in so little time.

Childe: zhongli coming was the best part of the night def

Lumine: phrasing.

Childe: what

Childe: oh

Kaeya: now never in my million years..

Childe: DO NOT START THIS SHIT

Childe: SOMEONE CHANGE THE TOPIC

Aether: UHHHH PENIS

Childe: THAT JUST MAKES IT WORSE DUMBASS

Xiao: i believe many of us have classes starting about

now.

Childe: we do?

Kaeya: we fuckin do???????

Amber: pause.

Kaeya: pausing.

Albedo: we do.

Amber: FUCK OKAY LETS GO

[ Everyone has gone offline. ]

Private Messages: Venti, Aether

Venti: aether

Venti: aether

Venti: aether

Venti: AETHER

Aether: WHAT

Venti: pictures. now.

Aether: OKAY OKAY DAMN

[ Aether sent multiple images. ]

Venti: ty i am crying tears of joy rn trust

Aether: you and xiao were sooooo damn touchy w each

other bro youre both weirdly touchy drunks its kinda
funny

Venti: SHUT

Aether: SEE YOU BOTH PASSED OUT ON THE COUCH

TOGETHER AND YOURE LITERALLY CUDDLING

Venti: SHUT!!!!!!!!!!

Aether: whenre you gonna actually ask him out tho

Venti: never, just because you asked that

Aether: DUDE I AM SO SICK OF HEARING ABT HOW

MUCH YOU LIKE HIM PLEASE

Venti: YOU CANT RUSH LOVE. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL

IF I TRIED TO FORCE YOU TO MAKE A MOVE!!!!!

Aether: im aroace.

Venti: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

Venti: besides its not like i can ask him that easily yk
like hes not dense he just isnt interested in that stuff me
thinks

Aether: you know damn well hes actually dense

Venti: i just cant ASK him out tho. he def doesnt see me
in that way. hes like cool and dark and totally a bad boy
and im literally a trans white bitch whos hobby is getting
drunk and singing to carmen

Aether: who tf is carmen

Venti: MY ROOMBA DUMBASS. FIRST NAME CARMEN,

LAST NAME DEI. CARMEN DEI.

Aether: YOU NAMED YOUR ROOMBA?

Venti: YES?

Aether: im gonna ignore that shit omg

Aether: hear me out w this idea

Venti: hearing you out!

Aether: so yk that big ass like festival thing that the

college holds every year for like. celebrating school pride
and that shit

Venti: what abt it

Aether: apparently theres a thing of like asking your

crushes out to go see the ‘festivities’ and then confessing
to them like when the festivals over and like. going to
the thing was supposed to give good luck or smth and
the person always says yeah to the confession

Venti: DEADASS?

Aether: DEADASS

Aether: bro thats literally how gorou and itto got

together

Venti: PAUSE FR?

Aether: YEAH ITTO ASKED GOROU OUT TO IT LIKE LAST

YEAR AND HE CONFESSED WHEN IT WAS OVER AND
GOROU SAID YES

Aether: thats how i like

Aether: found out abt it yk like gorou told me abt it and

i was like…omg. finally a chance for venti to get fuckin
laid

Venti: SHUT UP OMG

Aether: and this year theres supposed to be a super big

parade and a big ass pep rally and like. idk i know abt
the pep rally only becuz lumines friends w the head
cheerleader in charge and she told me abt it too and
when i asked her abt the festival

Venti: you know like so many goddamn people

Aether: bro im just the main character

Venti: tea, actually.

Aether: you shld DEFINITELY ask xiao out to the festival

and then confess when its over n shit. its only like in a
few weeks so.

Venti: best friend..youre a genius.

Aether: i know

Venti: FINALLY ILL BE ABLE TO DATE THE BAD BOY OF

MY DREAMS

Aether: IK FOR SURE XIAO ISNT A BAD BOY THAT DUDE

GETS STRAIGHT AS IN ALL HIS CLASSES

Venti: SHUT UPP ITS THE FUCKING AESTHETIC HE HAS

Aether: UH HUH SURE OKAY

Venti: FUCK OFF

Aether: FUCK YOU

Venti: are we still on for later tho i wanna party again

Aether: definitely bro i just got done w my projects for

this week i am READY

Venti: FUCK YEAH ILL SEE YOU LATER

Aether: YEAHHHH

[ Aether has gone offline. ]

[ Venti has gone offline. ]

Notes:
my updating schedule is so, so so
sososo wack
but i love chatfics so. yk. we tryin hard
tonight w writing an actual fic that isnt
a oneshot for once!
inspired by daiicraaa's fic right here:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/310
71194/chapters/76762346
please read it its in fact a work of art

thanks for reading!

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