Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me Quote

the glint of light on broken glass Anton Chekhov

Showing and Telling

What is Telling?

• Giving facts
• Brief (or ought to be!)
• Vague
• Doesn’t stir the reader’s emotions
What is Telling?

Examples:
• It was winter.
• Carrie felt angry. So what?
• David was upset.
• She felt embarrassed.
What is Showing?

• Painting a picture for the reader using actions, words, gestures

(not simply sharing information)
• More detailed, specific, and wordy than Telling
• Allows reader to deduce what the characters are experiencing
• Immersive and engaging (reader does the part of the work for
themselves)
What is Showing?

• When I stepped out, I noticed a white blanket of snow covering

the trees, ground, and houses.
• Carrie slammed the door and leaned against it, trying to slow her
breathing.
• David decided that he had enough arguments for the day and
headed to his room.
• She reached for her ponytail and her cheeks turned red not long
after.
Snapshots

• Description of a character detail or character’s action

• Uses one or more senses
Snapshots

Bad day at school?

• Inky pen stain on your pants
• Scab forming on your grass-stained knee
• The smashed cheese sandwich that was supposed to be your lunch
• Crumpled chemistry test paper buried in your backpack
Thoughtshots

• Past
• Future (often used when making a decision)
• Internal Dialogue
Thoughtshots

• He remembered the first time he saw snow…

• She probably wasn’t going to have friends in the new school either
anyway…
• He thought about what the teacher had just said. His mind raced,
but he didn’t know the answer. Why did she call on him? …
Using Sensory Details

• Sight We walked out and stood on bright green grass highlighted by the strong
stadium lights. I could feel the excitement of the crowd. To our left, the
• Hearing fans were chanting, “"We love ya, we love ya, we love ya!”. They
• Taste created tiny clouds of vapor as they exhaled, but they didn’t seem to
mind the chill in the air. We knew their energy and enthusiasm was
• Touch going to keep us warm.
• Smell
Exploding Moment

• Describing a moment to the reader as if in slow motion

• Manipulating time
Exploding Moment

• I watched myself begin this horrible deed. My hand seemed to suddenly have a
will of its own. I picked up the milk carton. The spout was already open. My arm
extended over Carol’s head, tipping the carton. The liquid poured in a slow,
steady thick unending stream down through her long blonde hair, soaking the
back of her clothes and running onto the floor. As the milk reached the floor, I
shifted the spout slightly to begin another long milk journey down the front of
her. It poured over her forehead, in the eyes, running in rivers down each side of
her nose, converging on the chin and splashing into her plate. Her food was soon
awash and the milk poured over the edge and ran into her lap. And still I poured
on—it was too late to stop now. The rapture of it all. Oh, sweet revenge.

“Sisters” — Jan Wilson

SOAPAIMS

• Senses (V)
• Onomatopoeia (bang)
• Alliteration (the rabbit raced rapidly)
• Personification (the wind howled)
• Adjectives and Adverbs (slowly, she crept)
• Imagery (the pitter patter of the vile rain)
• Metaphor (my brother is a pig)
• Simile (her temper was like a volcano)