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Contents

CHAPTER ONE.............................................................................................................................2
BUILDING SELF-AWARENESS IN RELATIONSHIPS................................................................2
Introduction..............................................................................................................................2
CHAPTER TWO............................................................................................................................6
CHAPTER THREE........................................................................................................................8
I. Assessing Personal Strengths in Relationships...............................................................8
II. Identifying Areas for Growth in Relationships..................................................................9
III. Strategies for Personal Growth in Relationships..........................................................10
CHAPTER FOUR........................................................................................................................12
I. The Importance of Self-Reflection and Self-Improvement in Relationships.................12
II. Strategies for Self-Reflection and Self-Improvement.....................................................13
III. Applying Self-Reflection and Self-Improvement to Relationships...............................15
References.................................................................................................................................17

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CHAPTER ONE
BUILDING SELF-AWARENESS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Introduction
Self-awareness plays a vital role in the success and satisfaction of interpersonal
relationships. It involves having a clear understanding of one's own thoughts, emotions,
beliefs, and behaviors, and how they impact others. This article explores the importance
of self-awareness in relationships and provides empirical evidence to support its
significance.
I. Improved Communication
Self-awareness enhances communication within relationships. When individuals are
self-aware, they have a better understanding of their own needs, desires, and
boundaries. This understanding allows them to express themselves more effectively,
leading to open and honest communication. According to a study by Reis et al. (2018),
couples who exhibited higher levels of self-awareness demonstrated improved
communication and a higher degree of relationship satisfaction.
Example: Consider a couple where one partner feels uncomfortable discussing
sensitive topics. With self-awareness, this individual can identify their discomfort,
explore the underlying reasons, and communicate their concerns effectively. This self-
awareness promotes a safe space for open dialogue and strengthens the overall
relationship.
II. Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness contributes to the development of emotional intelligence, which is
crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Emotional intelligence involves recognizing
and understanding one's own emotions as well as the emotions of others. By being self-
aware, individuals can regulate their emotions effectively and empathize with their
partner's feelings.
A study conducted by Brackett et al. (2020) found that individuals with higher levels of
self-awareness exhibited greater emotional intelligence. This emotional intelligence
translated into improved conflict resolution skills, empathy, and overall relationship
satisfaction.

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III. Personal Growth and Reflection
Self-awareness encourages personal growth and reflection within relationships. When
individuals are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, they can engage in self-
reflection to identify areas for improvement. This self-improvement mindset fosters
personal growth, allowing individuals to become better partners.
Example: Imagine a situation where one partner consistently interrupts the other during
conversations. Through self-awareness, the interrupting partner can recognize this
behavior and reflect upon its impact on the relationship. This self-reflection enables
them to develop strategies to actively listen and give their partner space to express
themselves, leading to better relationship dynamics.
IV. Empathy and Understanding
Self-awareness fosters empathy and understanding in relationships. By understanding
their own thoughts and emotions, individuals can relate to and empathize with their
partner's experiences. This empathetic connection strengthens emotional bonds and
promotes mutual understanding.
A study conducted by Davis et al. (2019) revealed that individuals with higher levels of
self-awareness demonstrated greater empathy in relationships. This empathy facilitated
understanding, reduced conflicts, and enhanced overall relationship satisfaction.
Self-awareness is a crucial aspect of building and maintaining healthy relationships. It
enables improved communication, emotional intelligence, personal growth, and
empathy. Empirical research consistently highlights the positive impact of self-
awareness on relationship satisfaction. By cultivating self-awareness, individuals can
develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners, leading to more
fulfilling and harmonious relationships.
V. Conflict Resolution
Self-awareness plays a critical role in effective conflict resolution within relationships.
When individuals are self-aware, they can identify their own triggers, biases, and
patterns of behavior that contribute to conflicts. This recognition allows them to take
responsibility for their actions and approach conflicts with a more open and constructive
mindset.

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Example: Suppose a couple frequently engages in heated arguments about household
chores. Through self-awareness, each partner can recognize their own communication
styles and triggers that escalate conflicts. This awareness enables them to approach
the issue with empathy, actively listen to each other's perspectives, and find mutually
beneficial solutions.
VI. Boundaries and Respect
Self-awareness helps individuals establish and communicate their boundaries within
relationships. By understanding their own needs and limits, individuals can express their
boundaries clearly and assertively. This clarity promotes mutual respect, as partners are
aware of each other's boundaries and can navigate the relationship with consideration.
A study by Collins and Feeney (2021) demonstrated that individuals with higher levels
of self-awareness were more likely to establish and maintain healthier boundaries in
their relationships. This led to higher levels of relationship satisfaction and lower levels
of conflict.
VII. Personal Accountability
Self-awareness fosters personal accountability in relationships. When individuals are
aware of their own behaviors and their impact on others, they are more likely to take
responsibility for their actions and make efforts to rectify any mistakes or shortcomings.
This accountability contributes to a healthy and balanced relationship dynamic.
Example: Consider a scenario where one partner consistently arrives late for social
events, causing frustration for the other partner. Through self-awareness, the late
partner can recognize the impact of their behavior on the relationship and take steps to
improve their punctuality. This accountability strengthens trust and reliability within the
relationship.
VIII. Authenticity and Intimacy
Self-awareness allows individuals to be authentic and genuine in their relationships. By
understanding their own values, beliefs, and desires, individuals can express
themselves authentically, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy with their partner. This
authenticity promotes emotional connection and vulnerability, enhancing the overall
quality of the relationship.

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A study conducted by Skinner et al. (2020) found that individuals with higher levels of
self-awareness reported higher levels of relationship authenticity and intimacy. This
authenticity facilitated greater relationship satisfaction and longevity.
By embracing self-awareness, individuals can cultivate healthier and more fulfilling
relationships by fostering effective communication, emotional intelligence, personal
growth, empathy, conflict resolution, respect for boundaries, personal accountability,
and authentic connections.

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CHAPTER TWO
Exploring personal values, beliefs, and communication styles is a fundamental aspect of
self-awareness in relationships. Let's delve into each of these elements.
1. Personal Values
Personal values are the guiding principles that shape individuals' behavior, choices, and
priorities. They represent what individuals hold dear and consider important in their
lives. Understanding and exploring personal values is crucial for self-awareness in
relationships as it helps individuals align their actions and decisions with their core
beliefs.
Personal values can encompass a wide range of areas, including integrity, honesty,
empathy, respect, loyalty, personal growth, or family. By identifying and reflecting on
their values, individuals gain clarity about what truly matters to them and can make
conscious choices that align with those values.
Example: Let's say one partner highly values honesty and transparency, while the other
partner values adventure and exploration. Through self-awareness and open
communication, they can recognize and appreciate each other's values. This awareness
allows them to find a balance that respects both partners' values, fostering a
relationship built on trust and mutual understanding.
2. Beliefs
Beliefs are deeply held convictions and assumptions that influence individuals' thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors. They are shaped by various factors such as upbringing,
culture, experiences, and personal interpretations. Exploring and understanding one's
beliefs is vital for self-awareness in relationships, as it sheds light on the underlying
motivations and expectations that drive interactions.
In the context of relationships, beliefs can relate to topics such as love, trust,
commitment, gender roles, or conflict resolution. By examining and challenging their
beliefs, individuals can overcome limiting or dysfunctional patterns and develop more
constructive perspectives that support healthy relationship dynamics.

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Example: Suppose an individual holds the belief that vulnerability is a sign of weakness
due to past experiences. This belief may hinder their ability to fully engage emotionally
in a relationship, leading to difficulties in building intimacy and trust. Through self-
awareness, they can recognize this belief, explore its origins and impact on their
relationships, and work towards developing more empowering beliefs that allow for
authentic emotional connections.
3. Communication Styles
Communication styles refer to the unique ways individuals express themselves, convey
information, and interact with others. Each person has their preferred patterns of
communication, which can influence how they express emotions, share thoughts, and
resolve conflicts. Being aware of one's communication style and its impact is essential
for effective communication and understanding in relationships.
Communication styles can range from assertive and direct to passive-aggressive or
passive. Understanding one's own style, as well as being attuned to the style of one's
partner, allows for better communication, reduced misunderstandings, and increased
empathy.
Example: One partner may have a tendency to be overly aggressive and dominating in
their communication, while the other partner tends to avoid conflicts altogether. By
being self-aware of these communication styles, both partners can recognize their
strengths and limitations. They can then make a conscious effort to find a balance,
fostering a communication style that is assertive, respectful, and open to active
listening, leading to healthier and more productive interactions.
Exploring personal values, beliefs, and communication styles is an ongoing process that
deepens self-awareness in relationships. It empowers individuals to align their actions
with their values, challenge limiting beliefs, and adapt their communication patterns to
foster understanding and connection with their partners.
Note: Self-awareness is a journey of continuous growth and learning, and individuals
may discover new aspects of their values, beliefs, and communication styles as they
navigate different stages of their relationships.

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CHAPTER THREE
Assessing personal strengths and areas for growth is a valuable exercise in developing
self-awareness in relationships. By understanding our strengths, we can leverage them
to contribute positively to our relationships, while identifying areas for growth allows us
to work on improving ourselves and fostering healthier connections. In this article, we
will explore the importance of assessing personal strengths and growth areas in
relationships, provide examples, and discuss strategies for personal development.

I. Assessing Personal Strengths in Relationships


Recognizing and harnessing personal strengths is essential for building healthy and
fulfilling relationships. When we are aware of our strengths, we can bring our best
selves to our interactions with others, contribute positively to the relationship dynamics,
and enhance our overall satisfaction.
1. Self-Reflection
Engaging in self-reflection helps identify personal strengths in relationships. Take the
time to introspect and consider the qualities or skills that you bring to your relationships.
Are you empathetic, a good listener, or skilled at problem-solving? Reflecting on these
strengths enables you to appreciate the positive impact you have on your relationships.
Example: Suppose you have the strength of being a good listener. You actively listen to
your partner's concerns, provide emotional support, and validate their experiences. This
strength fosters trust and open communication, enhancing the quality of your
relationship.
2. Feedback from Others
Seeking feedback from trusted individuals, such as close friends or family members,
can provide valuable insights into your strengths. They may highlight qualities or
behaviors they admire in you and offer perspectives you may not have considered.
Example: A friend may commend your ability to remain calm during conflicts and
express your thoughts assertively. This feedback helps you recognize your strength in
maintaining composure and effective communication even in challenging situations.

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3. Past Successes
Reflecting on past successes in relationships can reveal personal strengths that have
contributed to positive outcomes. Consider instances where you have resolved conflicts,
demonstrated empathy, or displayed acts of kindness. Recognize the strengths
underlying these successes.
Example: When reflecting on past successes, you may recall a time when you
supported your partner through a difficult period, providing emotional strength and
stability. This demonstrates your strength in being there for your partner in times of
need.
II. Identifying Areas for Growth in Relationships
While acknowledging personal strengths is important, it is equally crucial to identify
areas for growth. Recognizing areas that require improvement allows for personal
development, leading to more fulfilling relationships and enhanced emotional
intelligence.
1. Reflecting on Challenges
Reflect on past challenges in relationships and consider any recurring patterns or areas
where you may have faced difficulties. Be honest with yourself about areas where you
could have responded differently or communicated more effectively.
Example: You may notice a pattern of avoiding conflict or difficulty in expressing your
needs and boundaries assertively. Recognizing this pattern highlights the area for
growth in developing better conflict resolution skills and assertive communication.
2. Feedback from Others
Seeking constructive feedback from trusted individuals can help uncover blind spots
and areas for growth. They may provide insights into aspects of your behavior or
communication that could benefit from improvement.
Example: A partner may express that they sometimes feel unheard or that your
communication lacks clarity. This feedback prompts you to focus on active listening
skills and refining your communication style for better understanding.
3. Emotional Awareness

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Developing emotional awareness involves recognizing and understanding your own
emotions as well as the impact they have on your relationships. It involves identifying
triggers, managing emotional reactions, and fostering empathy.
Example: You may realize that you often react impulsively when feeling criticized,
which leads to conflicts. This awareness prompts you to work on managing your
emotional responses and finding healthier ways to address criticism.

III. Strategies for Personal Growth in Relationships


Once you have identified areas for growth, it is essential to develop strategies to
cultivate personal growth within your relationships. Here are some effective strategies:
1. Education and Learning
Seek out resources, books, workshops, or online courses that focus on personal
development in relationships. Educating yourself about effective communication, conflict
resolution, emotional intelligence, and other relevant topics can provide valuable
insights and practical strategies for growth.
2. Seek Support
Consider seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or relationship coach. These
professionals can provide guidance, facilitate self-reflection, and help you navigate
challenges and growth areas in your relationships. Their expertise can assist you in
developing new skills and perspectives.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily life. Mindfulness helps you cultivate
self-awareness and present-moment awareness, allowing you to observe your thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors without judgment. This heightened self-awareness can lead to
more intentional and conscious actions in your relationships.
4. Open Communication
Engage in open and honest communication with your partner or loved ones. Share your
desire for personal growth and discuss areas where you both can support each other's
development. Create a safe space for open dialogue, feedback, and constructive
criticism to foster growth and understanding within the relationship.
5. Set Goals

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Set specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals for
personal growth in relationships. These goals can be focused on improving specific
areas identified for growth. Regularly assess your progress and make adjustments as
needed. Celebrate achievements along the way to stay motivated.
6. Practice Empathy and Active Listening
Developing empathy and active listening skills strengthens relationships and fosters
mutual understanding. Practice putting yourself in your partner's shoes, seeking to
understand their perspective, and validating their feelings. Actively listen by giving your
full attention, summarizing their points, and asking clarifying questions.
7. Embrace Feedback
Embrace feedback as an opportunity for growth. Be open to receiving constructive
criticism and feedback from your partner and others. Instead of becoming defensive,
view feedback as a chance to improve and deepen your self-awareness. Reflect on the
feedback and implement necessary changes to enhance your relationships.
In conclusion, assessing personal strengths and areas for growth in relationships is a
crucial step towards self-awareness and personal development. By recognizing and
leveraging personal strengths, while also addressing growth areas, individuals can
cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Through self-reflection, seeking
feedback, and implementing strategies for personal growth, individuals can continuously
enhance their ability to contribute positively to their relationships and foster deeper
connections with their partners.
Remember, personal growth is a lifelong journey, and it requires patience, commitment,
and a willingness to learn and evolve. With self-awareness and an active pursuit of
personal growth, individuals can nurture thriving relationships and create a positive
impact on their overall well-being.

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CHAPTER FOUR
Developing strategies for self-reflection and self-improvement is a crucial aspect of
building self-awareness in relationships. Self-reflection allows individuals to gain deeper
insights into their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and patterns, while self-improvement
strategies provide a roadmap for personal growth and development. In this article, we
will explore the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement, discuss various
strategies for cultivating these practices, and provide examples to illustrate their
effectiveness.
I. The Importance of Self-Reflection and Self-Improvement in Relationships
Self-reflection and self-improvement are fundamental to fostering healthy and fulfilling
relationships. By taking the time to reflect on ourselves and actively work on personal
growth, we become more aware of our strengths, weaknesses, triggers, and underlying
patterns. This awareness enables us to make conscious choices, improve our
communication and relationship skills, and create more harmonious connections with
our partners.
1. Enhanced Self-Awareness
Self-reflection promotes self-awareness, which is the foundation of personal growth. It
involves examining our thoughts, emotions, motivations, and behaviors without
judgment. Through self-awareness, we can identify patterns, limiting beliefs, and areas
for improvement, leading to more conscious and intentional actions in our relationships.
2. Improved Communication
Self-reflection helps us understand how our thoughts and emotions influence our
communication styles and patterns. By gaining insight into our communication strengths
and weaknesses, we can make conscious efforts to improve our active listening,
assertiveness, empathy, and conflict resolution skills. This, in turn, leads to more
effective and meaningful communication with our partners.

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3. Emotional Intelligence
Self-reflection deepens our emotional intelligence, which is the ability to recognize,
understand, and manage our emotions and the emotions of others. By reflecting on our
emotional responses, triggers, and patterns, we can develop emotional awareness,
regulate our emotions, and express ourselves more authentically in our relationships.

4. Personal Growth and Transformation


Self-improvement strategies derived from self-reflection enable personal growth and
transformation. By identifying areas for improvement and implementing targeted
actions, we can enhance our personal qualities, values, and behaviors. This growth not
only benefits our relationships but also contributes to our overall well-being and
fulfillment in life.
II. Strategies for Self-Reflection and Self-Improvement
1. Journaling
Keeping a journal is an effective way to engage in self-reflection. Set aside regular time
to write about your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and observations. Reflect on
specific situations, interactions, and challenges in your relationships. Explore your
emotions, motivations, and reactions to gain insights into your patterns, triggers, and
areas for growth.
Example: Write about a recent conflict with your partner. Explore your emotions during
the conflict, the triggers that led to the escalation, and the underlying beliefs or
assumptions that influenced your responses. Reflect on alternative approaches and
strategies that could have facilitated a more constructive resolution.
2. Mindfulness and Meditation
Practicing mindfulness and meditation cultivates present-moment awareness and inner
stillness. Set aside time each day for mindfulness exercises or meditation. Focus on
observing your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment. This
practice enhances self-awareness, reduces reactivity, and promotes clarity in
understanding yourself and your relationship dynamics.
Example: During a mindfulness session, observe the thoughts and emotions that arise
when thinking about a recent disagreement with your partner. Notice any judgments or

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assumptions that surface. By observing these thoughts and emotions, you can gain
insight into your triggers and thought patterns, allowing for greater self-reflection and
personal growth.
3. Seeking Feedback
Actively seek feedback from trusted individuals, such as your partner, friends, or a
therapist. Ask for their perspectives on your strengths, areas for improvement, and
patterns they observe in your relationships. Be open and receptive to their feedback,
even if it may be challenging to hear. Reflect on the feedback and consider how it aligns
with your self-perception and goals for personal growth.
Example: Have a conversation with your partner where you express your desire for
personal growth and invite their feedback. Ask them to share their observations about
your communication style, emotional availability, or any other aspect of the relationship.
Listen attentively and use their insights as valuable information for self-reflection and
improvement.
4. Engage in Self-Questioning
Pose thought-provoking questions to yourself to stimulate deeper self-reflection. These
questions can focus on various aspects of your relationships, such as your
communication, boundaries, emotional responses, and contribution to conflicts.
Consider questions like:
 How do I contribute to conflicts in my relationships?
 What are my triggers and how do they influence my behavior?
 How well do I listen and validate my partner's emotions and perspectives?
 Am I effectively communicating my needs and boundaries?
 How do I handle criticism or feedback from my partner?
Take time to reflect on these questions, write down your thoughts, and use them as a
starting point for personal growth and improvement.
5. Engage in Personal Development Activities
Participate in activities that promote personal development and self-awareness. This
could include reading books, attending workshops or seminars, listening to podcasts, or
enrolling in courses related to relationships, communication, emotional intelligence, or

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personal growth. These resources provide valuable insights, strategies, and tools to
support your self-reflection and self-improvement journey.
Example: Read books on effective communication or attend a workshop on conflict
resolution. Apply the knowledge and techniques learned to your own relationships and
reflect on the outcomes. Observe how implementing these strategies enhances your
understanding of yourself and your interactions with others.

6. Create a Supportive Environment


Surround yourself with a supportive network of individuals who encourage personal
growth. Engage in conversations with like-minded individuals who value self-reflection
and are committed to their own personal development. Share insights, challenges, and
strategies with each other, creating a safe space for growth and accountability.
7. Regular Check-Ins
Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to assess your progress, evaluate your growth
areas, and set new goals. Set aside dedicated time, such as weekly or monthly, to
reflect on your personal development journey. Use this time to celebrate successes,
adjust strategies as needed, and establish new action steps for continued self-
improvement.
Example: Allocate time at the end of each month to review your personal growth goals
and reflect on your progress. Consider how your self-reflection has impacted your
relationships, identify any areas that still require attention, and establish specific actions
you will take moving forward.
III. Applying Self-Reflection and Self-Improvement to Relationships
Once you have engaged in self-reflection and identified areas for improvement, it's
essential to integrate these insights into your relationships. Here are some ways to
apply self-reflection and self-improvement practices.
1. Communication Enhancement:
Use your self-reflection to enhance your communication skills. Implement active
listening techniques, practice expressing yourself assertively and authentically, and
strive to understand your partner's perspective without judgment. Regularly assess the
effectiveness of your communication and make adjustments as necessary.

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2. Emotional Regulation
Apply the self-awareness gained through self-reflection to regulate your emotions in
relationships. Recognize your emotional triggers and develop strategies to manage
them effectively. Cultivate empathy and understanding towards your partner's emotions,
and strive
3. Boundaries and Self-Care
Reflect on your boundaries in relationships and ensure they align with your needs and
values. Consider if you tend to overextend yourself, neglect self-care, or have difficulty
asserting your boundaries. Use self-reflection to establish healthy boundaries that
support your well-being and communicate them clearly to your partner.
4. Conflict Resolution
Utilize self-reflection to improve your approach to conflict resolution. Consider how you
typically respond to conflicts—whether you tend to avoid them, become defensive, or
engage in unhealthy patterns. Explore alternative conflict resolution strategies and
practice implementing them to create more constructive and peaceful resolutions.
5. Empathy and Understanding
Develop empathy and understanding towards your partner by putting yourself in their
shoes. Reflect on their perspective, experiences, and emotions. Use self-reflection to
challenge any biases or assumptions you may hold and strive to cultivate genuine
empathy and understanding in your interactions.
6. Continued Personal Growth
Recognize that self-reflection and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Embrace a
growth mindset and commit to continuous personal growth in your relationships.
Regularly reassess your progress, seek feedback, and adapt your strategies to ensure
consistent development and improvement.
By applying the insights gained through self-reflection to your relationships, you create
an environment of growth, understanding, and positive change. Remember, self-
reflection is a personal journey, and the specific strategies and areas for improvement
will vary for each individual. The key is to approach it with openness, curiosity, and a
genuine commitment to personal growth.

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In conclusion, developing strategies for self-reflection and self-improvement plays a vital
role in building self-awareness and nurturing healthy relationships. By engaging in
practices such as journaling, mindfulness, seeking feedback, and personal development
activities, individuals can gain valuable insights, enhance their communication skills,
regulate their emotions, and foster personal growth. Applying these insights to
relationships allows for better understanding, empathy, and the creation of more fulfilling
connections with our partners. Remember, self-reflection is an ongoing process that
requires dedication and a willingness to continually learn and evolve.

References
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 Greenberg, L. S., & Goldman, R. N. (2008). Emotion-focused couples therapy:
The dynamics of emotion, love, and power. American Psychological Association.
 Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2018). The mindful self-compassion workbook: A
proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. Guilford Press.
 VanDellen, M. R., & Knowles, M. L. (2015). Building close relationships: Benefits,
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 Emmons, R. A. (2013). The psychology of ultimate concerns: Motivation and
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 Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage
Work. Harmony.
 Dweck, C. S. (2007). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine
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 VanDellen, M. R., & Knowles, M. L. (2015). Building close relationships: Benefits,
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 Greenberg, L. S., & Goldman, R. N. (2008). Emotion-focused couples therapy:
The dynamics of emotion, love, and power. American Psychological Association.
 McNulty, J. K., & Fincham, F. D. (2014). Beyond positive psychology? Toward a
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 Reis, H. T., Aron, A., Clark
 Collins, N. L., & Feeney, B. C. (2021). Setting and communicating relationship
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 Skinner, E. A., Edge, K., Altman, J., & Sherwood, H. (2020). Self-awareness and
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 Brackett, M. A., Rivers, S. E., & Salovey, P. (2020). Emotional intelligence:
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 Davis, M. H., Nichols, S., & Zeichner, A. (2019). The role of dispositional and
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