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INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

SECTION 1: WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

A strong bond between two or more people refers to interpersonal relationship. Attraction between
individuals brings them close to each other and eventually results in a strong interpersonal
relationship.
Forms of Interpersonal relationship
An interpersonal relationship can develop between any of the following:
1. Individuals working together in the same organization.
2. People working in the same team.
3. Relationship between a man and a woman (Love, Marriage).
4. Relationship with immediate family members and relatives.
5. Relationship of a child with his parents.
6. Relationship between friends.
Relationship can also develop in a group (Relationship of students with their teacher, relationship of
a religious guru with his disciples and so on)
Must have in an Interpersonal Relationship
1. Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must share common goals and objectives. They should
have more or less similar interests and think on the same lines. It is always better if individuals
come from similar backgrounds.
2. Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must respect each other’s views and opinions. A sense
of trust is important.
3. Individuals must be attached to each other for a healthy interpersonal relationship.
4. Transparency plays a pivotal role in interpersonal relationship. It is important for an individual to
be honest and transparent.

SECTION 2: STAGES IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association between individuals sharing common
interests and goals.
A sense of trust, loyalty and commitment is essential in a relationship. Individuals need to trust and
respect their partners to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts in relationship.
Stages in an interpersonal relationship
It takes time for a relationship to grow and pass the test of time.
There are two possibilities in a relationship:
1. Possibility - 1: Two people might start a relationship as mere strangers. They get to know each
other slowly and become emotionally and mentally attached to their partners gradually. Such
relationships often lead to lasting commitments where individuals decide to be with each
other until death separates them.
2. Possibility - 2: Two people might start off well but soon face problems. Troubles in
relationship start when people have different opinions, views and fail to reach to a mutually

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acceptable solution. In such cases individuals decide to move on from a relationship for a fresh
start.
According to famous psychologist George Levinger, every relationship goes through following five
stages.
First Stage – Acquaintance
Acquaintance refers to knowing each other. To start relationship individuals need to know each other
well.
Two individuals might meet at some place and instantly hit it off. People feel attracted to each other
and decide to enter into a relationship.
Common friends, social gatherings, same organizations also help people meet, break the ice, get
acquainted with each other and start a relationship.
Second Stage – The Build up Stage
This is the stage when the relationship actually grows. Individuals are no longer strangers and start
trusting each other.
Individuals must be compatible with each other for the relationship to continue for a longer period of
time. Individuals with similar interests and backgrounds tend to gel with each other more as compared
to individuals from diverse backgrounds and different objectives.
The build up stage in a relationship is often characterized by two individuals coming close, being
passionate and feeling for each other.
Third Stage – Continuation Stage
This is the stage when relationship blossoms into lasting commitments. It is when people after
knowing each other well decide to be in each other’s company and tie the knot.
Trust and transparency is essential for the charm to stay in relationship forever.
Fourth Stage – Deterioration
Not all relationships pass through this stage. Lack of compatibility, trust, love and care often lead to
misunderstandings and serious troubles in relationship.
Individuals sometimes find it extremely difficult to adjust with each other and eventually decide to
bring their relationship to an end.
Compromise is an integral part of every relationship. Individuals failing to compromise with each other
find it difficult to take the relationship to the next level.
Fifth Stage – The Termination Stage
The fifth and the last stage is the end of a relationship.
Relationship terminates due to any of the following reasons
1. Death of any one partner
2. Divorce
3. Separation
An ideal relationship results in lasting commitments and marriages whereas there are some
relationships which do start on a positive note but end abruptly.

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SECTION 3: FACTORS AFFECTING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Interpersonal relationship refers to individuals with similar tastes and mindsets entering into an
association. Individuals who share identical goals and interests enter into an interpersonal
relationship. It is essential for individuals in a relationship to get along well.
Let us go through various factors affecting interpersonal relationship:
Compatibility: Two individuals in a relationship must be compatible with each other. There should be
no scope of conflicts and misunderstandings in a relationship. Individuals from similar backgrounds
and similar goals in life do extremely well in relationships. People with different aims, attitudes,
thought processes find it difficult to adjust and hence fail to carry the relationship to the next level.
Communication: Communication plays a pivotal role in all types of relationships whether it is personal
or professional. Feelings must be expressed and reciprocated in relationships. Individuals need to
communicate with each other effectively for better understanding. Do not stay mum as it leads to
problems and misunderstandings. Two people in love must interact with each other on a regular basis
through various modes of communication such as telephone, emails, letters (though exchanging letter
is now considered an outdated form of communication). Staying in touch is essential for the love to
grow especially in long distance relationships where individuals can’t meet quite often.
In professional relationships as well, colleagues must communicate well for a better bonding. Sit with
your co workers and discuss issues face to face to reach to a mutually acceptable solution.
The recipient must understand what the sender intends to communicate and vice a versa. Clarity of
thoughts is essential in relationships.
Honesty: Be honest in relationships. Do not lie or hide things from your partner. Remember every
problem has a solution. Think before you speak. Transparency is important in relationships.
Stay calm: Do not overreact on petty things in relationships. Stay calm. Be a little more adjusting. Be
the first one to say “Sorry”. It will solve half of your problems.
Forgiving: An individual needs to be a little more forgiving in relationships. Do not drag issues
unnecessarily. Fighting over small issues is foolish and makes the situation all the more worse.
Smile: As they say “Smile is a curve that makes everything staright.” Flash your smile more often. It
works. Take care of your facial expressions while interacting with the other person.
Time: Time plays an important role in relationships. Individuals in love must spend adequate time to
know each other better. Frustrations arise when people do not have time to meet or interact with
each other. Even in organization, individuals must spend quality time with their co workers to
strengthen the bond amongst themselves. Married couples must take time out for each other for the
charm to stay in relationship forever.
Make the other person feel important. Appreciate your partner whenever he/she does something for
you. Praise him/her in front of others.
Every relationship needs time and an individual’s effort to grow. Sit with your partner and try to sort
out the differences amicably. Don’t be too rigid.

SECTION 4: ROLE OF COMMUNICATION IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Communication is said to be the basis of every interpersonal relationship. Infact effective
communication is the key to a healthy and long lasting relationship. If individuals do not communicate
with each other effectively, problems are bound to come.
Communication plays a pivotal role in reducing misunderstandings and eventually strengthens the
bond among individuals.
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A relationship loses its charm if individuals do not express and reciprocate their feelings through
various modes of communication. A healthy interaction is essential for a healthy relationship.
It is not always an individual need to talk to express his /her feelings. Feelings can be expressed
through non-verbal modes of communication as well. Your body movements, gestures, facial
expressions, hand movements communicate something or the other. Make sure you do not make
faces at anyone. You should look happy and contented for the other person to enjoy your presence.
Do not always look sad and irritated. Eye movements also have an important role to play in
relationships. One can make out whether you are angry, unhappy or frustrated through your eyes
only.
Take care of your tone and pitch as well. Make sure you are not too loud or too soft. Being loud might
hurt the other person. Speak softly in a convincing way. The other person must be able to understand
what you intend to communicate.
Choice of words is important in relationships. Think twice before you speak. Remember one wrong
word can change the meaning of an entire conversation. The other person might misinterpret you and
spoil the relationship. Be crisp. Express your feelings clearly. Do not try to confuse the other person.
Being straightforward helps you in relationships.
An individual must interact with the other person regularly for the relationship to grow and reach
to the next level. Speaking over the phone. SMSing are ways of communicating and staying in touch
especially in long distance relationships where individuals hardly meet.
Be polite. Never ever shout on your partner even if he has done something wrong. Discuss issues and
try to sort out your differences amicably. Abusing, fighting, criticizing spoil the relationship and in
adverse cases might end it as well. Being rude is a crime in relationships.
Try to understand the other person’s point of view as well. Be a patient listener. Unless you listen
carefully, you will never be able to communicate effectively.
Individuals can also communicate through emails. If you do not get the time to call your partner
regularly, drop him/her a mail. The other person would feel happy and important. Emails are also an
effective mode of communication at workplace. For better relations at workplace, try to communicate
through written modes of communication. Be careful about the mail body and make sure they are
self-explanatory. Using capital letters in emails is considered to be rude and loud. Do not share any
information with any of your fellow workers verbally. Mark him a mail and do keep your Boss in the
loop. All the related employees must be marked a cc as well. If discussed orally, the other person might
refuse later on, creating problems for you.

SECTION 5: HOW TO IMPROVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE?

An association between individuals working together in the same organization is called interpersonal
relationship. An individual spends around seven to eight hours at his workplace and it is practically not
possible for him to work all alone. One needs people to talk to and discuss various issues at the
workplace. Research says productivity increases manifold when individuals work in groups as
compared to an individual working alone.
Employees must get along well for a healthy ambience at the workplace.
Let us go through various ways of improving interpersonal relationships at workplace:
1. Employees must communicate with each other effectively for a healthy relationship. Remember
a problem shared is a problem halved.
2. Interact with your co-workers more often. Discussions must be on an open platform where every
individual has the liberty to express his/her views and opinions. Written mode of communication
is one of the effective ways of communicating at the workplace. Make sure your emails are self-
explanatory and do mark a cc to all related employees. Ignoring any of your co-workers might
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hurt him and spoil your relationship with the individual concerned. Avoid hiding things from your
fellow workers.
3. Even employees from a different team can be your friends. Talk to them. Greet them with a smile
and a “Hi” whenever you meet them. An individual must not take things to heart at workplace.
4. Team leaders and supervisors should conduct morning meetings with their team members. Do
not make the meeting too formal. The employees should be allowed to bring their coffee mugs.
Let them interact with each other. Morning meetings go a long way in breaking the ice among
employees and improving interpersonal relationships at workplace.
5. Do not favour any employee just because he is your relative or you know him personally.
Favouritism spoils the relationship between superiors and subordinates.
6. Take your team out for lunch, picnics or get together once in a while. Let the employees bring
their families as well. Ask your team members to exchange contact numbers amongst themselves
for them to interact with each other even after work.
7. Greet your colleagues on their birthdays or anniversaries. Send them a nice e-card and do ask
for a treat. Such small initiatives go a long way in strengthening the bond among fellow workers.
Important festivals must be celebrated at workplace for employees to come closer to each other.
8. Individuals should be motivated to work in teams. Work must be equally allocated to team
members to expect the best out of them. No employee should be overburdened. People working
in teams are friendlier and adjust with each other better.
9. One needs to be a little more adjusting and compromising at the workplace. Don’t expect
everything to be done just the way you like it. You will have all types of people around. Avoid
fighting over petty things. Do not always look at the negative side of things. Accept people as they
are. It is essential to look at the positive side of an individual. Being flexible at work always helps.
10. Avoid being jealous. Leave your ego behind the moment you enter the workplace. Appreciate if
someone has performed exceptionally well. Remember only hard work and nothing else pays in
the long run.
11. Stand by your colleagues when needed. It is only you who can create a healthy atmosphere at
the workplace.

SECTION 6: IMPORTANCE OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE

Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association among individuals working together in the
same organization. Employees working together ought to share a special bond for them to deliver
their level best. It is essential for individuals to be honest with each other for a healthy interpersonal
relationship and eventually positive ambience at the workplace.
Why interpersonal relationship at workplace?
Why do employees need to be cordial to each other?
Let us go through the importance of interpersonal relationship at workplace.
1. An individual spends around eight to nine hours in his organization and it is practically not
possible for him to work all alone. Human beings are not machines who can work at a stretch.
We need people to talk to and share our feelings. Imagine yourself working in an organization
with no friends around!!!!!!!!We are social animals and we need friends around. An individual
working in isolation is more prone to stress and anxiety. They hardly enjoy their work and attend
office just for the sake of it. Individuals working alone find their job monotonous. It is essential to
have trustworthy fellow workers around with whom one can share all his secrets without the fear
of them getting leaked. We must have friends at the workplace who can give us honest feedback.

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2. A single brain alone can’t take all decisions alone. We need people to discuss various issues,
evaluate pros and cons and reach to solutions benefiting not only the employees but also the
organization on the whole. Employees can brainstorm together and reach to better ideas and
strategies. Strategies must be discussed on an open platform where every individual has the
liberty to express his/her views. Employees must be called for meetings at least once in a week
to promote open communication. Interaction on a regular basis is important for healthy
relationship.
3. Interpersonal relationship has a direct effect on the organization culture. Misunderstandings
and confusions lead to negativity at the workplace. Conflicts lead you nowhere and in turn spoil
the work environment.
4. We need people around who can appreciate our hard work and motivate us from time to time.
It is essential to have some trustworthy co-workers at the workplace who not only appreciate us
when we do some good work but also tell us our mistakes. A pat on the back goes a long way in
extracting the best out of individuals. One needs to have people at the workplace who are more
like mentors than mere colleagues.
5. It always pays to have individuals around who really care for us. We need colleagues to fall back
on at the times of crisis. If you do not talk to anyone at the workplace, no one would come to
your help when you actually need them.
6. An individual needs to get along with fellow workers to complete assignments within the
stipulated time frame. An Individual working all alone is overburdened and never finishes tasks
within deadlines. Support of fellow workers is important. You just can’t do everything on your
own. Roles and responsibilities must be delegated as per specialization, educational qualification
and interests of employees. An individual needs help of his fellow workers to complete
assignments on time and for better results.

SECTION 7: TIPS TO IMPROVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS AT WORKPLACE

Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association among employees either working together in
the same team or same organization.
Employees must get along well for a positive and healthy ambience at the workplace.
Let us go through some tips to improve interpersonal relationship at workplace.
 Do not treat office as your home. There is a certain way of behaving at the workplace. It is
essential to be professional at work. Never misbehave with any of your colleagues. Leg-pulling,
criticism, backbiting are a strict no no. It is better to avoid someone you don’t like rather than
fighting or arguing with him/her. Your office colleagues can be your friends as well but one
must know where to draw the line. Too much of friendship is harmful and spoils relationship
among employees.
 An individual should not interfere in his colleague’s work. Superiors must formulate specific
KRAs for all the employees and make sure job responsibilities do not overlap. Overlapping of
job responsibility leads to employees interfering in each other’s tasks and eventually fighting
over small issues. One should be concerned only with his work rather than trying to find out
what the other employee is up to.
 Give space to your fellow workers. Giving space in fact is essential in all relationships.
Overhearing anyone else’s personal conversation is strictly unprofessional. An employee must
not open envelopes, couriers or letters not meant for him. Such practices lead to severe
displeasure among employees and eventually spoil relationships.

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 Do not spread baseless rumours at workplace. Even if you know something about someone,
learn to keep things to yourself. Discuss it with the individual concerned in private rather than
publicizing the whole thing. Organization has nothing to do with anyone’s private matters.
 Pass on correct information to others. If your superior has asked you to share some
information with any of your colleagues, make sure it is shared in its desired form. Data
tampering and playing with information spoil relationships among colleagues and lead to
confusions at the workplace.
 Do not share all your secrets with your co-workers. You never know when they might misuse
them. Even if you do, make sure you are doing it with someone you trust blindly.
 Leave your ego behind. Do not bring your personal tensions to work. Think before you speak.
Making fun of colleagues is something which is not at all expected out of a professional.
 A team leader should not scold any of his team members in front of others. It might insult
him/her. Call the individual concerned either to your cabin or conference room. Avoid
comparisons among team members. The employees must be strictly judged according to their
work and nothing else. Employees doing well should be suitably rewarded.
 Stay away from nasty politics at workplace. Do not try to harm anyone. It is absolutely okay
to appreciate someone who has done something exceptionally well. Avoid being jealous. It
will harm you in the long run. There should be healthy competition among the employees for
a healthy environment at the workplace.

SECTION 8: MANAGING CONFLICT IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE

When two individuals have different opinions and neither of the two is willing to compromise, conflict
arises. A state of disagreement among individuals is called as conflict.
Conflict arises at workplace when employees find it difficult to reach to mutually acceptable solutions
and fight over petty issues. Differences in attitude, mindsets and perceptions give rise to conflicts at
the workplace.
No one ever has gained anything out of conflicts. Conflict must be avoided as it leads to negativity and
spoils the ambience of the workplace.
How to manage conflicts in interpersonal relationship at workplace?
Conflicts play an important role in spoiling relationship among employees at the workplace and must
be controlled at the initial stages to expect the best out of individuals.
1. For individuals, organization should always come first and all other personal interests must take
a backseat. Fighting with fellow workers on petty issues is childish. Be professional. Do not take
things to heart at the workplace as no one is working for himself or herself. You might not like
someone else’s style of working but remember ultimately the organization must benefit out of it.
2. An individual ought to respect his colleagues. Treat your fellow workers as members of your
extended family. Ignoring minor issues helps in avoiding conflicts in interpersonal relationship.
Try to understand your colleague’s point of view as well.
3. Avoid lobbying at the workplace. An individual should keep his personal and professional life
separate. Do not favour anyone just because you like the individual concerned or you know him
personally. At work, every employee irrespective of his family background and relation with the
management needs to be treated as one. Ignoring or bad mouthing someone just because you
do not like him is simply not acceptable. Such things give rise to unnecessary stress and eventually
employees fight and spoil relationships amongst themselves. You need people around who can
give you suggestions and help you when required. You can’t work alone.

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4. Remember there is a difference between being aggressive and rude. A sense of competition is
essential among employees but make sure you adopt healthy means to prove yourself. Jealousy,
backbiting, criticism, leg pulling give rise to disagreements among individuals and spoil their
relationships.
5. Think before you speak. Do not hurt anyone. There are several other ways to express your
displeasure at work. Do not overreact at workplace. Stay calm and composed.
6. Avoid being arrogant. Be polite to everyone. Greet people and do enquire about their well-being.
A simple smile goes a long way in managing conflicts and strengthening interpersonal
relationships at workplace.
7. Evaluate issues carefully. Do not jump to conclusions. It is always better to sort out differences
amicably rather than fighting and spoiling relationships. Voice your concerns in an open platform
and try to reach to a conclusion mutually acceptable to all. Do not always see your own personal
interests
8. Learn to control your emotions.
9. Communicating effectively reduces the chances of errors and eventually manages conflicts
amongst employees at the workplace.

SECTION 9: INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS/QUALITIES

A strong association between individuals sharing similar interest and goal is called as interpersonal
relationship. It is important to have trustworthy colleagues around at the workplace.
One needs to know how to interact with fellow workers. Let us go through some interpersonal skills
an individual needs to inculcate for a healthy relationship with co-workers.
1. Stay positive at the workplace. Do not crib over small things. No individual on this earth is
perfect. Do not always find mistakes in others.
2. Respect your colleagues. It is unprofessional to misbehave with fellow workers. An employee
must behave in an acceptable way at the workplace. Maintain the decorum of the workplace.
3. Being rude to fellow workers spoils the relationship among employees. Remember the way you
behave speaks a lot about your education, upbringing and family background. Be polite to
everyone irrespective of his/her designation and income.
4. An individual needs to have effective communication skills (both oral as well as written) for a
healthy interpersonal relationship at workplace. One must be careful about the pitch and tone of
his voice. Never be too loud or too soft. Being loud sometimes is considered rude and being too
soft signifies lack of interest in the other person. Choice of words is also equally important. Never
say anything which you yourself would not like to listen. Avoid using slangs and foul words at the
workplace. Communicate more through emails as they are considered to be more reliable as
compared to verbal communication.
5. Be cheerful at the workplace. Smile more often. It works.
6. Make your fellow workers feel important. Show how much you care for them. If they have done
something for you, do remember to thank them. The good work of employees must be
acknowledged and appreciated in front of all. Being jealous does not help and in turn spoils your
relationship with your fellow workers.
7. Stand by your colleagues at the times of crisis. Lend a sympathetic ear to their troubles and help
them whenever required.
8. Who says you can’t have friends at the workplace? After all you spend maximum part of your day
here. Wish your colleagues on their birthdays, anniversaries and important festivals. They would
feel special.
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9. Be honest to others. If any of your colleagues is doing something wrong, tell him on his face. It is
better to be straight forward than spreading unnecessary rumours about someone. Criticizing
and making fun of fellow workers spoil relationships and eventually turn friends into foes.
10. Be a patient listener. Listen to what the other person has to say. Understand the other person’s
point of view as well before jumping to conclusions. Wrong perceptions of people lead to
unnecessary confusion and misunderstandings.
11. Being trustworthy helps you gain confidence of fellow workers. Learn to keep things to yourself.
12. An individual’s personal interest ought to take a backseat at workplace. Your office has nothing
to do with your personal life and personal problems. You have no right to shout on your co-
workers. Learn to keep a control on your emotions.
13. Be a little more understanding and compromising to avoid unnecessary conflicts at the
workplace. Put yourself in your colleague’s shoes before taking any crucial decisions.
14. Be nice and kind to everyone. Make sure you are not labelled as “brat”. Be a source of inspiration
for others. Remember it is you and only you who can make a difference to the organization.
Behave as a thorough professional.

(Management study Guide, n.d.)

Bibliography
Bennis, W. (2003). On becoming a leader. In W. Bennis, On becoming a leader. New York: Basic
Books.

Management study Guide. (n.d.). interpersonal-relationship-articles.htm. Retrieved from

http://www.managementstudyguide.com/:
http://www.managementstudyguide.com/interpersonal-relationship-articles.htm

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