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If you’re a grown adult and have spent any amount of time playing
the field, then I am sure you’re more than aware of a different
breed called “Difficult women”.
These women come in all shapes and size, but incidentally, most of
them constitute the cream of the crop when it comes to
appearance. They are probably some of the best looking and
highest-value women you will ever find.
It may just be some twisted law of nature, but for whatever reason,
the camp of the most attractive women just seems to contain the
ones that are the most difficult to plan with too.
When you really consider it, you can’t really blame a whole lot of
these women for being as difficult as they are.
There are so many irredeemable creeps out there in the real world
that a woman has to learn, and learn fast, how to thin out the herd
and protect herself from all perceivable threats.
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In a perfect world, she would only bare her claws at the legitimate
threats; because humans can’t read minds, however, we’ve got lots
of women taking the path of least resistance by treating ALL men
with general indifference and rudeness.
You know this type when you’ve run into her. If looks could kill,
there would be three swords in your chest before you even get a
word in edgewise.
For some reason, however, you didn’t heed the warnings. All
animals have a certain instinct that leads them away from danger
called the ‘survival instinct’, but somehow, your death instinct
overpowered your survival instinct; she was just too hot.
You made your way over to her and spoke words that you half-
expected to become acid on your tongue before they left your
mouth.
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Some moments later, you’ve got a phone number. Against all odds,
you walked into the icy abyss and came out victorious. You scaled
the ice queen’s glacier, and you’re feeling like nothing can stop you.
Your pride is well-deserved.
Suddenly, you realize something; the climb is over, but the journey
isn’t. Just because you’ve climbed the mountain doesn’t mean that
it will accept you.
I’ve been in your position before, friend. Just like you probably
have on more than one occasion, I’ve wondered myself exactly
why things have to be this way. Whether it’s a test that’s made for
all determined men, or just a twisted law of nature, thousands of
us have got to deal with the roles we’ve been given as chasers and
hopers.
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unblinking eyeballs in the sky that we know today as the stars.
Some of us are prone to give up. Some of us settle for less when
we can’t immediately win.
And I guess the reason why they’re so difficult and uptight makes
sense as well. It may be because they recognize their value and are
very aware of it.
These guys, who are normally at the top of their game when it
comes to anything having to do with the opposite sex, are
bewildered when they finally meet one that can match the force of
his suave appeal with the resilience of her impregnable demeanor
or complete lack of timeliness.
These men may even be some of the rare kind who have managed
to become more often chased by females than they themselves
pursue. Eventually, however, every one of them realizes that there
are even bigger and badder women than the ones they’ve
personally been involved with.
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You see, they freak out because deep down they shift from the
high value male mode to a pleaser mode. Seeing such a high
quality women come into their world makes them go off track a
little and they get into the “I must have her” mode because
somehow, I won’t find another one like her.
When a man is in “must have her” mode, he’s belittling his own
value as much as he’s glorifying the worth of the woman that he’s
after. He deprives himself of the opportunities that he could have
in just going after one of the other several billion gorgeous women
that he’s eligible for, all for nothing more but the chance to get
with just ONE woman who doesn’t immediately buy what he’s
offering her.
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being the chooser rather than being the one who always gets
chosen.
Almost every guy I’ve coached tends to have a big problem dealing
with these women because these women tend to play extremely
hard to get. To make matters even trickier, they play the game
especially harder to get once you have their phone number and ask
to take them out.
The real game is only beginning, and after you’ve gotten into a
difficult woman’s world, you’ve got to prepare for a serious game
of tug-o’-war.
The game of tug-o’-war you play with her is going to be played with
your will instead of your muscles, and because of that, it’s actually
much harder. If you can conquer it, then you’ll have reached a level
that most men can’t even reach with fame and money.
I had a student who exchanged numbers with this super hot blonde
at a friend’s party. He pre-planned a date with her, shifted his
schedule around, only to realize that at the very last moment, I was
for naught. She told him that something else had come up and she
wouldn’t be able to make it.
The next day, he called her again and this time around, she told
him that she was busy with a new project for the next few days and
would let him know whenever she is free.
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Many days passed by, but this girl never really called him back and
that was the end of the line for him right there.
When she said that she was busy with her project, he made no
attempt to establish the importance of his own time. The fact that
he even shifted his schedule around in the first place was already a
sign that he wasn’t completely playing the game in his favor.
You see, when a girl plays hard to get like that, that’s basically a test
as well. She is trying to see how far you’re willing to bend and how
much you are willing to alter your schedule around to match hers.
The moment you stand around waiting for her to give you
permission to take her out, then you’ve lost the game right there
because you’re indirectly letting her know that you aren’t that
important because your time isn’t that important and you’re
basically sitting around waiting for her to be free.
Can you see how so many men display weak behavior right there
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and unconsciously send out the single that they’re low quality
males? And obviously a high quality woman will never ever settle
for a low quality man.
Well, the solution is simple and I call it “Forcing your own rules on
her”.
When we say, “force your own rules on her”, we don’t mean that
you’re going to abduct her and make her start following through
will kinds of weird household rituals. “Forcing your rules” is really
more of a way that you can establish sense of mutual respect
between the two of you.
You, on the other hand, will learn how to make it known that your
personal rules for time management are just important of hers are.
If the man wants to figure out how to break past the test of a
woman that wants to see if he’s worthy of her, then the solution
couldn’t be more maddeningly simple. If the man really wants to
be able to break past that barrier with his own rules, then his only
solution is simply to become stronger and more stubborn than he
was before it all started.
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He’s got to find that core value inside of himself that’s made him
capable of all of his successful conquests before he’s ever met the
girl that’s currently challenging him, and once he’s found it, he’s got
to do nothing less than completely supercharge it. He’s got to find
out just how to turn his RULES into his TOOLS.
The job requires nothing less than a high-value MAN. A high value
man is one who is able to take the fundamental prickliness of a
difficult woman, and in spite of that, enforce his own rules.
When the high value man makes his assertion towards the high
value female, something fundamental happens in her mind. She is
generally shocked to really come across a man who’s actually more
than worthy of everything that she has to offer.
She’s used to being able to have all kinds of athletes and wealthy
entrepreneurs bend at her beck and call, but eventually, there’s
that one guy who was able to see through those controlling vines
and hack through to her sensitivities with a machete.
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In the presence of this man, she undergoes a little bit of a freakout.
Her composure is as poised as ever, but internally, she’s doing
backflips; it’s only a matter of time until it becomes physically
obvious too.
Let’s say you exchanged numbers with a girl and call her to make a
plan for a date. You realize that she’s busy and says, “can you call
me back sometime later? “
Even though it seems like they may have been on the same page of
the woman that they’re talking to, they’ve really just acquiesced to
being pushed aside.
They’ve enabled an image that makes them seem like they have no
priorities, while the woman has more important things to do and
will have to make time for him. A high value man, on the other
hands, will not let it seem like only the woman has more important
things to do.
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still make a point to try and reach her at a later time.
By doing this, you’re essentially treating her in the way that you
would want to be treated; with a combination of transparency and
respect. You will let her know that you’re also busy, but in spite of
that, you’ll invest a bit of time into seeing if the two of you can set
something up.
Instead of saying “Yes! I will”, rather say – “I am really busy for the
rest of the day. I’ll call you some other time”. And then hang up.
Do you see what just happened there, in that little scenario? It may
seem like there was nothing but a benign exchange, but in reality, it
was nothing less than clash of wills.
Her question posed a certain hurdle for you to leap over, and
unless you answered in the correct manner, you would risk
completely sacrificing all of your momentum.
So you see, the assertion of will is away to make sure that no test
with a woman that is tricky to deal with is ever failed. Even if she
isn’t consciously making things hard for you, she will completely
take you for a loop if you aren’t firm enough in your convictions to
make your own requests and needs a priority.
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You could have easily just asked her if you could call her back at a
later time, but what would that actually accomplish? In that
scenario, you would basically be removing all of your momentum
and giving it to her without even a tiny bit of resistance. You’d
basically be giving up the whole track meet at the very first hurdle
to jump.
You see, she was forcing her rule on you by saying that she is busy,
therefore, you should call her later. However, by saying that you’re
going to be busy as well and might not be able to call her at all, you
claim back all the power and now you are the one asking her to
comply with your rules.
No matter what the scenario is, always keep the ball readily in your
court and ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. You never ask if it’s
a good time to contact her at X, Y, or Z, because that puts you at
her mercy.
As a rule of thumb, you could say that the entire goal here is never
EVER have to feel as though you’re actually waiting on her to tell
you something. If you want to plan something, either you make the
plan yourself or you try again at a later time. NEVER just ask, “is
then okay?”
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The first thing that you should do is realize that you’ve been stood
up. Even if it stings your pride a little bit to acknowledge, you do
not do yourself any favors by choosing to gloss over it.
When you flat-out acknowledge the fact that you have had your
time blatantly disrespected, you don’t wind up like the other men
who are prone to making excuses for women who don’t even have
the decency to take responsibility for their social transgressions.
A man who’s not of very high value will attempt to make the
woman feel better for standing him up, even if she’s not feeling all
that bad about it in the first place. By doing this, the lower value
man is basically teaching her that his time isn’t actually all that
valuable.
A high value man, on the other hand, is willing to walk through the
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chaos that the lower value man actively attempts to avoid at all
times.
For example, let’s say a girl tells you that she is going to be busy on
Friday, and would go out on Saturday. Instead of just agreeing to
that, rather say.
Right then and there, you’re showing her what the issue what the
problem with upsetting your schedule is. No matter what you do,
you cannot reward a woman for taking your valuable time lightly.
If you’ve got any respect for the things that you have to do with
your own waking hours, you won’t just leave up to a girl to decide
when and where she’ll decide to meet up with you for a time
you’ve already mutually agreed on.
If she can’t respect when you’ve set a time up to get together, then
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she has to know it. If she doesn’t get at least some sense of the fact
that she’s stood you up in a way that you don’t appreciate, you can
consider your power completely gone.
Not only does rejecting her sudden shift to the plan provide a
strong statement for your priorities and self-respect, but it also
communicates to her that you are a man who legitimately has
important things to do aside from the things that only concern her.
By not letting her know when the next time is, you’ve once again
taken the power back into your camp.
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ensuring that you never come out of any conversation empty-
handed or under-valued.
You see, by forcing such rules on her when she stood you up first,
you claim a lot of power back, plus you also demonstrate that you
aren’t someone who will work his schedule around to match her
schedule.
Not only does it save you your peace of mind and your self-respect,
it also works as a powerful indicator of whether or not the woman
is worth your time in the first place. By seeing whether or not the
woman is worth your time, you can make a decision on whether or
not it’s worth even trying.
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You show her that your time is really valuable as well and if she
wishes to meet you, then she will have to change things around.
A chaser sees the clock of the woman as one that’s far bigger and
more important than the one that he lives by. Even though he’s got
his own priorities to take care of, he will tend to always perceive a
woman’s idea of an adequate time to do something as THE time to
do just about anything.
Difficult women rarely have to deal with any other type of man
than the typical chasers, who have no sense of self-efficacy or
purpose in their lives aside from women.
Not all difficult women really are worth the constant pursuit, but
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occasionally, there are some highly difficult women who can
actually be converted into highly agreeable and time-conscious
people if you actually lead by example. Keep this in mind.
Never forget this, though; it is NOT your job to fix the personal
shortcomings of a woman that seems to be incapable of following
a basic schedule. If she can’t make it, even after multiple
accommodations made on your part, then it’s time to cut her
loose.
Not only does this raise her level of respect and attraction for you,
but, it also keeps her within boundaries and as a result, she will see
you as this high value male.
The reason that so many guys strike out with these types of
women is not only due to their own lack of assertiveness, but also
because this woman has unfortunately grown into a person that
does not quickly develop feelings of attraction to anyone.
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She is more or less indifferent to the qualities men possess and the
plans they set up, because usually, men have never bothered to try
setting any boundaries with her.
As a high-value man, you will set the boundaries that she’s never
actually had to try dealing with before.
While most men will have no issue putting up with her fickleness,
he will be the one that is inexplicably unmoved by her request to
be accommodated for her indecisiveness or lateness.
She will legitimately wonder what makes him able to resist her
ability to easily change most men’s schedules on a simple whim.
A high value male has a certain aura about him that speaks
volumes about what he will and won’t tolerate. Believe me, even a
difficult woman will be able to sense this power.
The thing that makes the high value man strong is his ability to be
consistently surefooted; both in the chaos that he creates and the
chaos created by others.
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A high value man, however, never forgets the value of respect.
Above all else, he respects no one’s time more than he does his
own!
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