Essay 2

by Julio Lopez

Submission date: 20-Oct-2023 12:30PM (UTC-0500)

Submission ID: 2202004364
File name: Essay_2_.pdf (871.94K)
Word count: 908
Character count: 4185
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Essay 2
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

89
Rubric Breakdown

Controlling idea: 20

/100 Evidence: 16

Description: 15.8

Genre Competency: 19

Style, Grammar, MLA: 18

Total: 88.8 round to 89

PAGE 1

Comment 1
comma before McDonald's

Comment 2
It's short but it works!

Comment 3
advertisement

Comment 4
 Topic sentence is a bit too meaty, consider making more concise

Comment 5
Why does making it so big have this effect?

PAGE 2

Comment 6
How does the burger look perfect though? What do you mean by perfect?

Comment 7
again good but a bit too long for a topic sentence

Comment 8
same note as the previous topic sentences

PAGE 3

Comment 9
Conclusion isn't bad though I'd give a bit more summary for your body paragraphs

PAGE 4

Comment 10
You should have included a discussion of the perfect tagline in one of the paragraphs

PAGE 5

Comment 11
goes at the top of the page
RUBRIC: ENGL 1301 ESSAY 2 RUBRIC FL23

CRITERION 1
Controlling Idea

EXCELLENT (20-18) Text presents a clear, direct controlling idea that presents an interpretation of the
image and uses relevant subpoints that are supported with clear explanation of
textual evidence. Controlling idea clearly answers the “why” / “how” of the visual
text.

ABOVE AVERAGE Text mainly presents a controlling idea that somewhat reveals an interpretation of
(17.9-16) the image and uses relevant sub-points but may be missing some explanation of
textual evidence. Controlling idea somewhat answers the “why” / “how” of the
visual text.

AVERAGE (15.9-14) Text presents a somewhat obvious controlling idea and is somewhat supported
with sub-points, though some may seem tangential, and explanation seems to be
superficial. Controlling idea partially answers the “why” / “how” of the visual text.

POOR (13.9-12) Text either lacks a controlling idea or mainly reports information from the image.
Text does not use supporting subpoints and explanation is absent or irrelevant.
Controlling idea neglects to answer the “why” / “how” of the visual text.

VERY POOR (11.9-0) Text does not present a controlling idea or subpoints that are connected to the
claim. Explanation is absent, and the text simply defines or summarizes the
image. Controlling idea fails to answer the “why” / “how” of the visual text.

CRITERION 2
Evidence

EXCELLENT (20-18) Text clearly and logically presents evidence that furthers the controlling idea.
Evidence is clearly chosen for its ability to support the controlling idea and the
subpoints in each of the body paragraphs.

ABOVE AVERAGE Text somewhat clearly and logically presents evidence that mostly furthers the
(17.9-16) controlling idea. Some evidence may be disconnected or tangential, but is mostly
connected to the subpoints and mainly supports the controlling idea.

AVERAGE (15.9-14) Text presents evidence for the controlling idea, though it may not support the
controlling idea, or the connections between the evidence and controlling idea are
unclear. Several tangents present, or the evidence may not connect to the
analysis.

POOR (13.9-12) Text lacks solid evidence, logical presentation of the evidence, and/or clear
connections between the evidence and controlling idea. Most evidence is
disconnected, tangential, and/or simply describes or summarizes the image.

VERY POOR (11.9-0) Text does not present evidence for the controlling idea, or the evidence is
completely tangential to the controlling idea.

CRITERION 3
Audience Awareness

EXCELLENT (20-18) Text presents language appropriate to the assigned audience and offers
appropriate balance of summary and details given the audience and purpose.
Author completely omits the use of “I” and “you.”

ABOVE AVERAGE Text mostly presents language appropriate to the audience and mostly offers
(17.9-16) appropriate balance of summary and details given the audience and purpose.
Author mostly omits the use of “I” and “you.”

AVERAGE (15.9-14) Text presents language somewhat inappropriate to the audience and a somewhat
inappropriate balance of summary and details given the audience and purpose.
Author overuses “I” and “you.”

POOR (13.9-12) Text presents language inappropriate to the audience and an inappropriate
balance of summary and details given the audience and purpose. Author uses “I”
and “you” throughout the essay.

VERY POOR (11.9-0) Text presents language completely inappropriate to the audience and far too
much or too little summary given the audience and purpose. Author uses “I” and
“you” throughout the essay.

CRITERION 4
Genre Competence (Visual Analysis)

EXCELLENT (20-18) Text presents a clear understanding of visual analysis by presenting details that
expose a new insight into the image. Text clearly demonstrates that the author
understands his/her purpose and focuses the text on the image.

ABOVE AVERAGE Text presents a clear understanding of visual analysis by presenting details that
(17.9-16) expose an insight into the image. Text demonstrates that the author understands
his/her purpose and mostly focuses the text on the image.

AVERAGE (15.9-14) Text seems confused about the purpose of visual analysis by somewhat revealing
something new, although the essay has too much summary or description of the
visual text. Focus of the text is somewhat the image.

POOR (13.9-12) Text lacks an understanding of the purpose of visual analysis and does not reveal
anything new. Focus of the text is not on the image.

VERY POOR (11.9-0) Text does not present any understanding of visual analysis. Text does not even
summarize or define the visual text.

CRITERION 5
Style, Grammar, and MLA

EXCELLENT (20-18) Style is appropriate for the assigned genre and audience. Each body paragraph is
well structured and includes a topic sentence, textual evidence, and connections
between ideas. Few to no grammar mistakes are present. Text appears to have
benefitted from proofreading and editing. MLA format is completely correct in
 terms of document formatting, citations, and references, and the title of the text
clearly relates to the image.

ABOVE AVERAGE Style is mostly appropriate for the assigned genre and audience. Each body
(17.9-16) paragraph is mostly well structured and includes a topic sentence and textual
evidence from the image, though some connections between ideas could be
stronger. Few grammar mistakes are present. Text appears to have benefitted
from proofreading and editing. MLA format is mostly correct, and the title of the
text relates to the image but is not as clear as it could be.

AVERAGE (15.9-14) Style is somewhat appropriate for the assigned genre and audience. Body
paragraphs are not well structured; topic sentences, evidence, and connections
between ideas are weak. Several grammar errors are present. Text appears to
have not been proofread and edited. MLA format is incorrect in many places, and
the title of the text does not clearly relate to the image.

POOR (13.9-12) Style is inappropriate for the assigned genre and audience. Body paragraphs are
not well structured; topic sentences, evidence, and connections between ideas are
mostly absent. Excessive grammar errors are present. Text appears to have not
been proofread and edited. MLA format is incorrect in most places, and the title of
the text does not relate to the image.

VERY POOR (11.9-0) Style is completely inappropriate for the assigned genre and audience. Body
paragraphs are not structured; topic sentences, evidence, and connections
between ideas are absent. Grammar errors pervade the text. Text has not been
proofread or edited. MLA format is incorrect throughout, and the title of the text
does not relate to the image or is missing entirely.