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50 Questions to Ask
Someone Instead of
“How Are You”
Get the conversation going — really
going

Daphne Fecheyr · Follow

Published in Ascent Publication
4 min read · Jan 25, 2018

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Everyone who goes to networking events

has this challenge: What do I ask
someone I don’t know to start a good
conversation.

A simple “How Are You?” usually won’t do

the trick to bring out the most
interesting stories.

Honestly, this is also true for your

friends and family. If you only have time
for a quick check-in, maybe. But even so,
how many times have you heard anyone
answering something meaningful?

Kalina Silverman, then a college student,

conducted a “little” research project,
called BIG TALK. She wanted to be able
to make meaningful connections with
new people, and realized that takes
skipping the small talk to have deeper
conversations. She approached strangers
and asked them this one question: “What
do you want to do before you die?”

She shares her inspiring story in a

TEDxtalk, which has already more than
4,400,000 views.

How To Skip the Small …

In a previous post I talked about the

transformational power of asking
questions. Asking thought-provocative
or sometimes seemingly “absurd”
questions often don’t come naturally.

It simply needs practice.

That’s the reason why I challenged

myself to ask all the questions that come
into my mind, no matter to whom/what
it is, for an entire month. And obviously
taking the time to mindfully listen to the
answers.

Why don’t you join me?

Would love to hear which of your
questions resulted in the most
unexpected, honest, mind-opening, and
interesting stories.

Here’s a list of 50 questions you can

start asking
Have fun with them!
1. What was your favorite moment thus
far today?

2. What brings you in a good mood?

3. Describe to a 6-year old what you do

in life?

4. What are 3 words that describe you

best?

5. What always makes you smile?

6. How do you contribute to a better

society?

7. What are the 3 most important

aspects to support your lifestyle?

8. When you were little, what did you

think you were going to be?

9. What is something you know you do

differently than most people?

10. Is there something you need help

with at this moment?

11. Is there someone I can connect you

with?

12. What are you (un)secretly good at?

13. What talent do you wish you’d have?

14. How do you feel about taking risk?

15. What’s your most (un)healthy habit?

16. If there is anything you would do

differently in your life, what would it
be?

17. Who would you like to have dinner

with tonight (could be anyone, dead
or alive)?

18. What genre of book/movie has the

most impact on you?

19. Which music genre do you listen to

the most?

20. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve

ever received? From who?

21. What advice would you give your 20-

year old self?

22. What is one life lesson that you think

everyone should know?

23. What’s your biggest fear that you’ve

overcome?

24. What was the most dangerous

situation you’ve been in?

25. What’s the most unbelievable thing

that’s ever happened to you?

26. Where would you live if you had no

ties to any specific place?

27. What was your favorite subject in

school?

28. What was the last book that you

read?

29. What have you never done before?

30. What time did you wake up this

morning?

31. What was the first thing you did this

morning?

32. What was the best gift you’ve ever

received?

33. When was the last time you said “I

love you” to someone other than
your partner?

34. What is your earliest childhood

memory?

35. What did you love doing as a child

that you don’t do anymore?

36. What was your last dream about?

37. How do you relax yourself when

stressed out?

38. How do you unlock your creativity?

39. What is your favorite meal of the

day?

40. Where was the last place you’ve

visited?

41. What do you do when you have to

wait (e.g. at the doctors)?

42. Which TV show are you following

right now?

43. How often do you talk to strangers?

44. What was the last picture you took?

45. What’s your favorite drink?

46. If money wasn’t an issue, how would

that make your life different?

47. Have you ever done something

competitively?

48. Who do you ask for advice when you

have to make a difficult decision?

49. What’s your favorite thing you have

at home?

50. What’s your favorite way to travel?

That should be a good start ain’t?

It’s up to you now.

Don’t think, just ask!

Byebye to shallow “How

are you’s”
Love to hear your stories!

I’ll set the stage :-)

What’s your favorite question?

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Written by Daphne Fecheyr

459 Followers · Writer for Ascent Publication

Life learner. Consciously ignorant idealist. Sharing

lessons learned about biomimicry, sustainable
business, living abroad, being a generalist.

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