Bergman/ Turbulence in Paradise 1

Turbulence in Paradise
By: Payton Bergman
 Bergman/ Turbulence in Paradise 2

Woman 1: Petty. She takes everything personally and refuses to see things outside of her own
perspective

Woman 2: Logical but pushy. Her way is the right way and there is no changing her mind about
that.

Woman 3: Sassy mediator. She is sick and tired of their bullshit and just wants to do what is best,
she is willing to work with other people’s ideas about how to handle the situation.
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Set: minimal set required, possibly a projection of wreckage from the plane, but nothing that
would break suspension of disbelief. A solid, neutral backdrop suits this best, with a log or two
for seating.

Props: variety of sticks/ twigs/ kindling material for fire,

Woman 1: (waking up) What the hell is-? Where? (sees Woman 2, laying on the sand
unconscious) It’s the lady from the airport! The one who made me spill my coffee! (Turns
around to see wreckage) Holy shit! (she exits, running “to the wreckage” we heard a gasp before
she stumbles back in)

In this time, Woman 2 wakes up and we watch her emotions progress similarly to Woman 1. She
sees the wreckage just before Woman 1 reenters. The pair makes eye contact as Woman 1
reenters the stage, looking distraught and scared

Woman 2: Correct me if I’m wrong, but behind you is the plane we were on, right?

Woman 1: (blank stare)

Woman 2: Hey, you!

Woman 1: (Timid) Yeah?

Woman 2: What the hell happened?

Woman 1: All dead. Just us.

Woman 2 runs offstage to see the wreckage

Woman 1: I- What do we do? I mean- but- (This should take about 20 seconds to get through)

Woman 2 enters

Woman 2: Okay. Well. I guess the first thing we need to do is find some water? I think? No, let's
go to the plane, look for supplies. There’s gotta be something on there that will help us. Better
sooner than later too, it's hot as shit out here. C’mon.

Woman 1: No I- but- there's no point.

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Woman 2: What do you mean “There’s no point?” Of course there’s a point? I’ve watched
enough survival television that we can make it through this.

Woman 1: Does Survivor count? That’s all I’ve got. And I think I would throw up if I went into
that plane again.

Woman 2: Fine. You stay here and get some firewood or something. I’ll rummage the plane,
meet back here in 30 minutes.

Woman 1: And how am I supposed to know when 30 minutes is up?

Woman 2: (visibly frustrated) just.. Don’t go too far away and I’ll find you when I’m done.

(Woman 2 exits, Woman 1 starts halfheartedly picking up twigs while muttering to herself)

Woman 1: I’ve always said this: “If I’m in a survival situation, what’s the point?” And now here
I am! And of course I get stuck with the one woman on the plane with “survival experience”.
Trying to take charge of everything. As if I care? My survival experience is limited to watching
Survivor and that one episode of Mythbusters where they survive on an island with only duct
tape. So unless there’s an industrial palette of duct tape on that plane, I’m of no use here. And on
top of that, she made me spill my coffee all over me at the airport. I smell like coffee and I have
to live with the knowledge that I probably won’t ever taste coffee again.

(There is some silence onstage before Woman 2 reenters, carrying a couple of suitcases)

Woman 2: Okay so I found some clothes and shampoo which isn’t much help. And someone
packed a roll of duct tape? I figured it would probably be useful. And some shoelaces. I figure
we use those things to put together some sort of shelter.

Woman 1: Shelter?

2: You literally just said that you watch survivor. What’s the first thing they do when they get to
the island? Build a shelter. Because how are you supposed to live if you don’t have protection
from the elements?

1: Look, okay? I was just in a plane crash so i’m gonna need you to cut me some slack here.

2: Yeah, I was just in a plane crash too and I’ve got my shit together. It sounds like a you
problem that you don't
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1: I just feel like we have bigger issues right now

2: bigger issues? Bigger issues than what, surviving?

1: Do you think… just maybe… that we could try to get off of this island?

2: Look you do whatever you want, I’m going to start building the shelter.

1: I never liked you anyways.

2: What do you mean you never liked me? I met you 10 minutes ago

1: in the airport. You made me spill my coffee all over myself.

2: I what?

1: yup, you heard me.

2: And how exactly did I do that?

1: you left your bag in the walkway and I tripped on it, and spilled my coffee all over myself. I
walked onto that plane pissed at you but at least then my biggest worry was how I was going to
get the stain out of my shirt, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore, now does it?

2: If it doesn’t matter, why do you even care? (no response) okay, fine. You do whatever you
want but I’m going to start building a shelter.

1: fine.

They go to opposite sides of the stage and angrily go about their tasks for about 10 seconds
before Woman 2 starts to talk to herself.

2: Of all of the people to get stuck on this godforsaken island with, I get the girl who is holding a
grudge over something that is objectively her fault? And on top of that, she won’t even help me
with our best shot at survival out here. There are bigger issues at stake here than some spilled
coffee. She thinks we’re gonna get rescued, as if we’re in some kind of movie. What is she even
doing over there? Whatever. I guess it’s up to me to get myself off of here. Which is a scary
thought. But I feel like I know what I’m doing. At least sort of. Can’t let her know that though. If
I want to have any hope of her listening to me then I need to pretend I’m some sort of expert. I
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just hope she doesn’t see me struggling with this shelter. She looks to busy dragging logs around
though so maybe she’s not even paying attention to me.

1: She thinks no one is going to come out here and save us? Clearly the first thing you do when
you crash on an island is make some sort of SOS signal. A plane fell out of the sky, someone has
got to be looking for us. And honestly, I kinda think she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Even if she doesn’t she probably still knows more about surviving this place than I do. And I
guess she’s right that we need a shelter eventually but it’s still early in the day. I’ll help her when
I finish this. I know it seems stupid to still be mad at her about the coffee thing, but this is my
favorite shirt! It was just a really bad start to what turned out to be the worst day of my life.

2: Hey! If you’re just sitting around, could I get some help over here?

1: Oh so now you want my help?

2: I always wanted your help, you just refused to work with me.

1: Fine. What do you need?

2: Tape these branches together and give them to me, I’ll climb that tree and attach them there.

1: Great

Woman 3: What the hell is going on here?

1: Oh my god there’s another person! Good, this other lady is driving me crazy!

2: Hey, you’re the one not doing any work. You’re the one being crazy!

3: Just my luck that I get stranded on an island with two people arguing.

1: Wait, so obviously we didn’t check the plane very well if we missed a whole alive person… Is
someone else going to go check on that? Because I’m certainly not going to!

3: I’m a nurse, that was my first instinct.

2: Hallelujah, because I wasn’t going to check either

1: God, finally something we can agree on.

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2: Okay, now that we have another person here to help us let's finally get to work on the shelter

3: not sure how much help I can be but I guess there’s nothing else to do.

The trio works in silence for a few seconds.

1: done!

2: Okay I’m going to climb up there. Can I trust you to at least try to catch me if I fall? (turns to
nurse) or fix me if I do fall?

1: Yeah, sure. You’re kind of our only hope now.

3: Not much for medical supplies out here, but I can do my best. Actually, there’s probably some
on the plane. You stay here and wait for me, I’ll go see if I can find some sort of first aid kit.

2: Good I’m not waiting for her. I’ll probably be fine anyways. It’s not that high, it won’t be bad
if I fall and I could probably land on my feet anyways. Just watch out and catch me, deal?

1: Yeah, sure.

As Woman 2 climbs the tree (disguised ladder), we hear a plane fly by. This grabs the attention of
Woman 1, who starts jumping around and waving her arms.

1: Hey! Down here! Hello! Help us! (she picks up a couple of palm branches and waves them
around as well. She continues yelling for help.)

2: Hey! You said you’d look out for me if I climbed the WOAH! (she falls from the tree) Ow!
My ankle! Hey!

Woman 1 is too busy whooping and hollering to notice

1: We’re down here! Someone save us!

2: HEY! (This yell finally brings woman 1 back to reality)

1: Why are you on the ground?

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2: Hmm, I wonder. Maybe it’s because I was on that tree trying to build us a shelter, you said you
would catch me if I fell, and then you didn’t because you were yelling at a plane 30 thousand feet
in the air as if it could hear you!

1: (defeated) I was waving branches too. Maybe they could see me.

2: You really need to get your priorities straight. What if I had broken my leg? How would you
have survived out here then?

1: I guess you’re right. Sorry.

2: Where’s that nurse when you need her?

3: Hey, I found a first aid kit! There’s not much but I think it will be enough for now. Why are
you on the ground?

2: Well, I went up to do the last bit of the shelter and fell, she didn’t even try to help me

1: In my defense, there was a plane flying by and I thought I could get them to see us, but
apparently not.

3: And I told you to stay on the ground while I was gone anyways. It looks like there's wrap in
this kit though, so I can get your ankle secured.

2: At least someone on this island cares about my safety and wellbeing.

1: She doesn’t actually care, she has to care because she’s a nurse.

3: Enough. You go over there and take a minute to yourself.

1: Are you actually treating me like preschooler?

3: Yes, I am. Because that’s how you’re acting!

(Woman 1 exits)

2: Finally, some space.

3: you aren’t much better, you know! You’re antaginozing her right back
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2: SHe’s only mad because she tripped over my luggage and spilled her coffee. I did absolutely
nothing to her and she’s taking it all out on me. It’s so unfair!

3: It’s like we said earlier, there are bigger problems to worry about right now.

2: I guess you’re right.

3: So where do we need to start with this shelter?

2: If we attach the palm branches to the trees it will be a sort of roof, and that could be enough
for tonight. After that we should add some sort of barrier between us and the sand, some logs cut
in half of something like that would be good.

3: Oh, like on Survivor!

2: You people and that goddamn TV show, Yes, like survivor.

3: Sounds like a plan. I think she’s had enough time to cool down now, I’ll go get her and fill her
in before we get started.

2: I don’t really want her help though! She’s been such an ass to me this whole time!

3: If your theory is right, and we are going to be on this island forever, then I think it’s in both of
your best interests to start getting along. It will make all of us miserable if you keep hating each
other.

2: Fine, go get her and bring her over. I’ll at least pretend I’m over it.

3: That’s a start.

(Woman 3 exits to bring back Woman 1, then reenters)

2: Look, the sun is starting to go down. If we want any hope of having a good night’s rest then
we should get going on this shelter.

1: What do you need me to do?

2: Can you climb up and attach the branches? While she fixes my ankle?

1: I can certainly try

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Lights dim before coming back up to reveal a poorly completed shelter

2: Look at that, we did it!

1: Yeah, no thanks to you.

2: Are you kidding me?

1: What?

2: Did you just say “no thanks to me”?

1: Yeah. You just sat there barking orders at me for the last hour.

2: Do you think that maybe, just maybe, that is because you didn’t even notice when I fell so I
twisted my ankle, and am giving it some rest so I can help tomorrow? Did you ever think about
that possibility?

1: Oh yeah…

3: Oh my god if you two keep arguing I’m going to push you both in the ocean.

1: What, why?

3: I don’t think you guys realize that there are bigger issues at stake here than whatever petty shit
you’ve got going on between the two of you.

1: you don’t understand! She spilled coffee on me!

3: What?

1: Yup. That’s why I’m so miserable! I smell like coffee and I have a caffeine withdrawal
headache too!

2: Gee, what other event in our lives could have possibly caused a headache? Certainly not a
plane crash?

3: Shut up, both of you!

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2: This is what I’ve been dealing with before you got here!

1: I’m the one dealing with you!

3: Both of you enough. I’m so tired of this. Get over yourselves and grow up.

2: Whatever, let's just try to get some rest. Tomorrow we really need to find some water.

1: Unless a plane sees the SOS signal I made.

2: That's what you were doing over there…

1: And if anyone is helping us get off this island it’s me. I want some credit for that.

2: Sure.

1: Look, a plane went down in the middle of nowhere, you’d think that someone has to be
looking for us.

3: Someone is probably looking for us, but I doubt they’ll be here anytime soon. It’s only been a
few hours since we crashed.

2: Yeah I guess.

1: But whatever, smarty pants. If you think we’re doomed, then I guess we are.

2: No, I guess you’re probably right. It’s not every day a plane crashes, we’re probably going to
be in all the headlines when we go back.

1: I hope so! Fifteen minutes of fame would be nice. Plus we could probably get some good
money from the airline.

2: Not a bad idea!

3: At this point I’m just glad you’re agreeing on something.

1: Look! A helicopter!

2: No way!
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1: Way! Here, take these. (She hands over a couple of branches)

3: This may be the best day of my life.

1: Best day of your life? Really?

3: That may be an exaggeration but I am truly so thankful to be off of this island and away from
you.

2: I can’t believe it! You were right!

1: (Sarcastically) Say that again, I couldn’t quite hear you!

2: Shut up! It’s landing!!

1: Told you!

2: (calling offstage to the “helicopter”) how did you find us??

1: (after a beat) you saw the SOS signal? Huh, I wonder whose idea that was!