A doctor gets a crazy idea on how to make more money, so he puts a sign in front

of his clinic. The sign reads, If I can cure you, I get $20. If I can't cure you, I pay
you $100. A lawyer decides that it's his time to shine, so goes to the doctor.
Doctor, I can't taste anything anymore. Please cure me. The doctor tells his nurse
to get him some of the medicine from drawer 33. The lawyer takes a swig, gasps,
and spits it out. The lawyer says, This is gasoline. There you go. You are cured.
Twenty dollars, please. Frustrated, the lawyer pays and leaves. He goes back the
next day, determined to succeed. Doctor, please cure my memory loss. Nurse, fetch
some of the medicine from drawer 33. No way, the lawyer exclaims, That's the
same crap you gave me last time. Memory fixed. Twenty dollars, please. The
lawyer stomps away, displeased. The next day, he comes up with a foolproof
strategy. Doctor, I'm blind. Cure me, please. I'm sorry. I won't be able to cure that.
Here's your $100, the doctor says, while handing the lawyer a $5. Wait a second.
This is $5, not $100. Blindness Cured, $20, please.

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, I hate to ruin your d
ay, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, 45 years of misery
is enough. Pop, what are you talking about? We can't stand the sight of each
other any longer, the old man says. We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking
about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her, and he hangs up. Frantic,
the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. They're not getting divorced if I
haveanything to do about it, I'll take care of this. She calls Phoenix immediately, an
d screams at the old man, you are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing unt
il I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then, don't do a thing,and hangs up. The old man turns to his wife and says, okay,
they are coming for Thanksgiving, now what do we tell them for Christmas?
a few years ago prime minister Mor was given some basic English conversation
training before meeting President Barack Obama the instructor told myy prime
minister when you shake hand with President Obama please say how are you then
Mr Obama should say I'm fine and you now you should say me too afterwards we
translators will do the work for you it looks quite simple but truth is when Mor
met Obama he mistakenly said who are you instead of how are you Mr Obama
was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor well I'm Michelle's
husband then Mor replied me too

the teacher said you know you can't sleep in my class the students end I know but
if you would just be quiet I could would you learn in school today how to write
what you write I don't know they don't teachers reading till later a teacher asked
her student what would you do if a tiger was chasing you the little boy said I'd
climb a tree the teacher said well tigers can climb trees the little boy said then I
jump in a lake and swim away the teacher said tigers are really good swimmers
the little boy said hey are you on my side or the Tigers [Laughter] a mother ask
her son on what you do in school today we played a guessing game I thought you
had a math test yeah that's what the teacher called it too [Applause] the teacher
said why are you boys arguing the little boys said we found a $10 bill and decided
whoever could tell the biggest lie could have the $10 bill the teacher said I'm
ashamed if you When I was your age I never told a lie the little boys looked at each
other and handed the teacher the $10 bill