Subject:‌‌Soft‌‌skills‌ ‌

Topic:‌‌Communication‌‌skills‌ ‌
‌
Introduction‌ ‌
Since‌ ‌communication‌ ‌happens‌ ‌around‌ ‌us‌ ‌all‌ ‌the‌ ‌time,‌ ‌the‌ ‌process‌ ‌is‌‌
often‌‌taken‌‌for‌‌granted.‌‌A‌‌large‌‌amount‌‌of‌‌time‌‌is‌‌spent‌‌communicating‌‌hence‌‌
there‌ ‌is‌ ‌need‌ ‌to‌ ‌make‌ ‌sure‌ ‌that‌ ‌ideas‌ ‌and‌ ‌information‌ ‌are‌ ‌put‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌way‌ ‌that‌‌
everyone‌ ‌involved‌ ‌can‌ ‌understand.‌ ‌Thinking‌ ‌about‌ ‌what‌ ‌to‌ ‌say,‌ ‌working‌ ‌out‌‌
the‌ ‌best‌ ‌way‌ ‌of‌ ‌saying‌ ‌it,‌ ‌finding‌ ‌the‌ ‌right‌ ‌words,‌ ‌making‌ ‌sure‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌‌
person‌ ‌understands‌ ‌and‌ ‌understanding‌ ‌anything‌ ‌he\she‌ ‌says‌ ‌in‌ ‌reply‌‌are‌‌all‌‌
vital‌ ‌stages‌ ‌in‌ ‌communication.‌ ‌Communication‌ ‌comes‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌Latin‌‌
“communis”‌‌which‌‌means‌‌“common”.‌ ‌When‌‌we‌‌communicate,‌‌we‌‌are‌‌trying‌‌to‌‌
establish‌ ‌“commonness”‌ ‌with‌ ‌someone.‌ ‌That‌ ‌is,‌ ‌we‌ ‌are‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌share‌‌
information,‌‌an‌‌idea‌‌or‌‌an‌‌attitude‌‌(Schramm,‌‌1993).‌‌Looking‌‌further,‌‌you‌‌can‌‌
find‌‌this‌‌type‌‌of‌‌definition:‌‌“Communications‌‌is‌‌the‌‌mechanism‌‌through‌‌which‌‌
human‌‌relations‌‌exist‌‌and‌‌develop.”‌ ‌
‌
Stop‌ ‌here‌ ‌and‌ ‌remember‌ ‌how‌ ‌we‌ ‌linked‌ ‌communication‌ ‌skills‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌‌
interpersonal‌‌skills‌‌in‌‌our‌‌group‌‌discussions‌‌in‌‌the‌‌class.‌ ‌

‌
‌
Forms‌‌of‌‌Communicating‌‌ ‌
All‌ ‌forms‌ ‌of‌ ‌communication‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌categorized‌ ‌as‌ ‌either‌ ‌verbal‌ ‌or‌‌
nonverbal.‌ ‌Both‌ ‌verbal‌ ‌and‌ ‌nonverbal‌‌communication‌‌can‌‌be‌‌subdivided‌‌into‌‌
either‌ ‌vocal‌ ‌or‌ ‌non-‌ ‌vocal.‌ ‌Verbal‌ ‌communication‌ ‌involves‌ ‌using‌ ‌speech‌ ‌to‌‌
exchange‌ ‌information‌ ‌with‌ ‌others.‌ ‌We‌ ‌usually‌ ‌communicate‌ ‌verbally‌ ‌in‌‌
face-to-face‌ ‌conversations‌ ‌such‌ ‌as;‌ ‌meetings,‌ ‌interviews,‌ ‌conferences,‌‌
speeches,‌ ‌phone‌ ‌calls‌ ‌e.t.c.‌ ‌Much‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌communication‌ ‌that‌ ‌takes‌ ‌place‌‌
between‌‌people‌‌is‌‌both‌‌verbal‌‌and‌‌non-verbal;‌‌that‌‌is,‌‌it‌‌is‌‌based‌‌on‌‌language‌‌
and‌‌gestures.‌ ‌
Verbal‌ ‌communication‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌vocal‌ ‌category‌ ‌includes‌ ‌spoken‌ ‌language,‌‌
while‌ ‌non-‌ ‌vocal‌ ‌verbal‌ ‌communication‌ ‌involves‌ ‌written‌ ‌communication‌ ‌as‌‌
well‌ ‌as‌ ‌communication‌ ‌that‌ ‌is‌ ‌transmitted‌ ‌through‌ ‌transmitted‌ ‌through‌ ‌sign‌‌
language,‌ ‌finger‌ ‌spelling,‌ ‌Braille,‌ ‌or‌ ‌other‌ ‌similar‌ ‌alternatives‌ ‌to‌ ‌verbal‌‌
language.‌ ‌
Paraverbal/paralinguistic/‌‌paralanguage‌‌features‌ ‌
 Paralinguistic‌ ‌or‌ ‌paralanguage‌ ‌features‌ ‌are‌ ‌the‌ ‌aspects‌ ‌of‌ ‌spoken‌‌
communication‌ ‌that‌ ‌do‌ ‌not‌ ‌involve‌ ‌words.‌ ‌They‌ ‌add‌ ‌emphasis‌ ‌or‌ ‌shades‌ ‌of‌‌
meaning‌ ‌to‌ ‌what‌ ‌people‌ ‌say.‌ ‌Paralinguistic‌ ‌features‌ ‌accompany‌ ‌verbal‌‌
communication‌ ‌and‌ ‌are‌ ‌the‌ ‌vocal‌ ‌signals‌ ‌beyond‌ ‌the‌ ‌basic‌ ‌verbal‌ ‌message.‌‌
Paralinguistic‌ ‌elements‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌person's‌ ‌speech,‌ ‌convey‌ ‌meaning‌ ‌beyond‌ ‌the‌‌
words‌ ‌and‌ ‌grammar‌ ‌used.‌ ‌Examples‌ ‌of‌ ‌paralinguistic‌ ‌features‌ ‌include‌ ‌pitch,‌‌
rate,‌ ‌quality‌ ‌of‌ ‌voice‌ ‌and‌ ‌amplitude.‌ ‌Other‌ ‌forms‌ ‌of‌ ‌paralanguage‌ ‌can‌ ‌also‌‌
include‌ ‌laughter‌ ‌or‌ ‌imitative‌ ‌speech.‌ ‌Prosody,‌ ‌which‌ ‌is‌ ‌the‌ ‌rhythm,‌ ‌pattern,‌‌
stress,‌ ‌rate,‌ ‌volume,‌ ‌inflection‌ ‌and‌ ‌intonation‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌ ‌person's‌ ‌speech,‌ ‌is‌ ‌also‌ ‌a‌‌
form‌‌of‌‌paralanguage.‌‌People‌‌express‌‌meaning‌‌not‌‌just‌‌in‌‌what‌‌they‌‌say‌‌but‌‌in‌‌
the‌‌way‌‌they‌‌say‌‌it.‌‌The‌‌paralinguistic‌‌features‌‌employed‌‌by‌‌a‌‌speaker‌‌provide‌‌
hint‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌meaning,‌ ‌communicate‌ ‌the‌ ‌speakers’‌ ‌attitudes‌ ‌and‌ ‌convey‌ ‌their‌‌
emotion.‌ ‌Paralinguistic‌ ‌features‌ ‌also‌ ‌alert‌ ‌the‌ ‌listener‌ ‌as‌ ‌to‌ ‌how‌ ‌to‌ ‌interpret‌‌
the‌ ‌message.‌ ‌Many‌ ‌of‌ ‌these‌ ‌paralinguistic‌ ‌features‌ ‌are‌ ‌culturally‌ ‌coded‌ ‌and‌‌
inherent‌‌in‌‌verbal‌‌communication,‌‌often‌‌at‌‌a‌‌subconscious‌‌level.‌ ‌
Non-Verbal‌ ‌
Non-verbal‌ ‌communication‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌type‌ ‌of‌ ‌communication‌ ‌that‌ ‌employs‌‌
gestures‌ ‌and‌ ‌body‌ ‌language.‌ ‌The‌ ‌term‌ ‌"body‌ ‌language"‌‌is‌‌sometimes‌‌used‌‌to‌‌
denote‌‌non-verbal‌‌communications.‌‌"Body‌‌Language"‌‌is‌‌the‌‌communication‌‌of‌‌
personal‌‌feelings,‌‌emotions,‌‌attitudes,‌‌and‌‌thoughts‌‌through‌‌body-movements‌‌
such‌‌as‌‌gestures,‌‌postures,‌‌facial‌‌expressions,‌‌touch,‌‌smell,‌‌walking‌‌styles‌‌and‌‌
positions‌ ‌among‌ ‌others.‌ ‌These‌ ‌movements‌ ‌can‌‌be‌‌done‌‌either‌‌consciously‌‌or‌‌
involuntarily;‌ ‌more‌ ‌often‌‌they‌‌‘happen’‌‌subconsciously,‌‌and‌‌are‌‌accompanied,‌‌
or‌‌not‌‌accompanied,‌‌by‌‌words.‌ ‌
There‌ ‌are‌ ‌basically‌ ‌three‌ ‌elements‌ ‌in‌ ‌any‌ ‌face-to-face‌ ‌communication.‌‌
These‌‌three‌‌elements‌‌account‌‌differently‌‌for‌‌the‌‌meaning‌‌of‌‌the‌‌message:‌ ‌
· Words‌‌account‌‌for‌‌7%‌ ‌
· Tone‌‌of‌‌voice‌‌accounts‌‌for‌‌38%‌‌and‌ ‌
· Body‌‌language‌‌accounts‌‌for‌‌55%‌‌of‌‌the‌‌message.‌ ‌
Our‌ ‌body‌ ‌language‌ ‌and‌ ‌tone‌ ‌of‌ ‌voice‌ ‌should‌ ‌be‌ ‌consistent‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌‌
words‌‌we‌‌use.‌‌This‌‌is‌‌only‌‌possible‌‌when‌‌we‌‌say‌‌what‌‌we‌‌mean‌‌to‌‌say‌‌and‌‌say‌‌
it‌‌rightly.‌‌Otherwise,‌‌we‌‌can‌‌confuse‌‌people‌‌and‌‌reduce‌‌the‌‌prospect‌‌of‌‌getting‌‌
our‌ ‌message‌ ‌across‌ ‌to‌‌be‌‌understood.‌‌Non-verbal‌‌communication‌‌can‌‌lead‌‌to‌‌
misunderstandings,‌ ‌communication‌ ‌failure‌ ‌and‌ ‌even‌ ‌conflicts‌ ‌if‌ ‌the‌‌
interlocutors‌‌are‌‌careless.‌ ‌
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Networking‌‌skills‌ ‌
Why‌ ‌are‌ ‌networking‌ ‌skills‌ ‌important?‌ ‌Networking‌ ‌skills—like‌‌
communication,‌ ‌active‌ ‌listening‌ ‌and‌ ‌social‌ ‌skills—are‌ ‌extremely‌ ‌valuable‌ ‌to‌‌
have‌ ‌in‌ ‌both‌ ‌professional‌ ‌and‌ ‌personal‌ ‌environments‌ ‌and‌ ‌are‌ ‌particularly‌‌
coveted‌‌by‌‌employers,‌‌as‌‌all‌‌successful‌‌businesses‌‌depend‌‌on‌‌networking.‌‌This‌‌
said,‌ ‌it‌ ‌is‌ ‌not‌ ‌enough‌‌to‌‌simply‌‌have‌‌great‌‌networking‌‌skills.‌‌You‌‌also‌‌need‌‌to‌‌
know‌‌how‌‌to‌‌market‌‌them‌‌in‌‌a‌‌resume.‌ ‌
If‌ ‌you're‌ ‌setting‌ ‌a‌ ‌goal‌ ‌this‌ ‌year‌ ‌to‌ ‌improve‌ ‌your‌ ‌professional‌ ‌network‌‌
skills,‌‌here‌‌are‌‌ten‌‌strategies‌‌to‌‌make‌‌that‌‌happen.‌ ‌
Building‌‌relationships‌ ‌
The‌ ‌key‌ ‌to‌ ‌business,‌ ‌and‌ ‌a‌ ‌successful‌ ‌job‌ ‌hunt,‌ ‌is‌ ‌building‌‌
strong interpersonal‌ ‌relationships over‌ ‌time‌ ‌with‌ ‌people.‌ ‌Before‌ ‌you‌ ‌ask‌ ‌for‌‌
help‌‌it‌‌is‌‌very‌‌important‌‌to‌‌offer‌‌something‌‌first.‌‌You‌‌want‌‌to‌‌be‌‌someone‌‌who‌‌
is‌‌perceived‌‌to‌‌offer‌‌value,‌‌and‌‌a‌‌positive‌‌and‌‌useful‌‌connection‌‌to‌‌have.‌ ‌
To‌‌build‌‌a‌‌network‌‌of‌‌professional‌‌friends,‌‌you‌‌need‌‌to‌‌be‌‌open,‌‌honest,‌‌
and‌‌genuinely‌‌engaged‌‌in‌‌their‌‌causes.‌‌Be‌‌more‌‌interested‌‌in‌‌their‌‌needs‌‌than‌‌
your‌‌own;‌‌ask‌‌open-ended‌‌questions‌‌and‌‌get‌‌to‌‌know‌‌them‌‌as‌‌people‌‌first‌‌and‌‌
sources‌‌of‌‌help,‌‌second.‌ ‌
Keeping‌‌in‌‌contact‌ ‌
With‌‌the‌‌prevalence‌‌of‌‌social‌‌media,‌‌people‌‌are‌‌used‌‌to‌‌‘collecting’‌‌social‌‌
friends‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌form‌ ‌of‌ ‌‘networking’‌ ‌that‌ ‌people‌ ‌are‌ ‌becoming‌ ‌increasingly‌‌
disconnected.‌‌ ‌
Good‌ ‌networking‌ ‌skills‌ ‌are‌ ‌not‌ ‌gaining‌ ‌new‌ ‌contacts‌ ‌on‌ ‌LinkedIn;‌‌
networking‌ ‌is‌ ‌developing‌ ‌relationships‌ ‌over‌ ‌time‌ ‌that‌ ‌is‌ ‌mutually‌ ‌beneficial‌‌
but‌‌may‌‌be‌‌able‌‌to‌‌aid‌‌you‌‌in‌‌a‌‌job‌‌hunt‌‌or‌‌business‌‌venture‌‌either‌‌initially‌‌or‌‌
in‌ ‌the‌ ‌future.‌ ‌Prioritise‌ ‌efforts‌ ‌that‌ ‌develop‌ ‌strong‌ ‌long-term‌ ‌relationships‌‌
with‌‌important‌‌connections.‌ ‌
Leverage‌‌on‌‌influential‌‌connections‌ ‌
In‌‌networking,‌‌as‌‌in‌‌sales,‌‌the‌‌key‌‌to‌‌success‌‌is‌‌prioritising‌‌leads‌‌that‌‌are‌‌
more‌ ‌likely‌ ‌to‌ ‌yield‌ ‌results.‌ ‌Whilst‌ ‌somewhat‌ ‌calculated,‌ ‌this‌ ‌approach‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌‌
normal‌ ‌process‌ ‌in‌ ‌determining‌ ‌the‌ ‌people‌ ‌we‌ ‌should‌ ‌engage‌ ‌with,‌ ‌whether‌‌
socially‌‌or‌‌professionally.‌ ‌
The‌‌criteria‌‌you‌‌use‌‌to‌‌determine‌‌influence‌‌is‌‌determined‌‌by‌‌your‌‌goals,‌‌
but‌‌it‌‌all‌‌starts‌‌from‌‌knowing‌‌what‌‌you‌‌want‌‌to‌‌achieve,‌‌and‌‌then‌‌plotting‌‌the‌‌
logical‌‌next‌‌steps‌‌from‌‌that‌‌point‌‌onwards.‌ ‌
Staying‌‌positive‌ ‌
 Most‌‌people‌‌don’t‌‌see‌‌returns‌‌straight‌‌away‌‌and‌‌then‌‌give‌‌up,‌‌but‌‌if‌‌you‌‌
want‌‌to‌‌see‌‌results,‌‌you‌‌need‌‌to‌‌invest‌‌time‌‌into‌‌business‌‌networking‌‌over‌‌an‌‌
extended‌‌period‌‌of‌‌time.‌ ‌
Developing‌ ‌your‌ ‌business‌ ‌networking‌ ‌skills‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌long‌ ‌term‌ ‌investment‌‌
and‌‌not‌‌a‌‌short‌‌term‌‌fix.‌ ‌
By‌ ‌remaining‌ ‌positive,‌ ‌you‌ ‌will‌ ‌ensure‌ ‌that‌ ‌when‌ ‌you‌ ‌do‌ ‌finally‌ ‌meet‌‌
someone‌ ‌that‌ ‌can‌ ‌help‌ ‌you,‌ ‌you‌ ‌will‌ ‌still‌ ‌be‌ ‌able‌ ‌to‌ ‌give‌ ‌both‌ ‌a‌ ‌great‌ ‌first‌‌
impression,‌ ‌and‌ ‌also‌ ‌a‌ ‌strong‌ ‌reason‌ ‌why‌ ‌they‌ ‌should‌ ‌help‌ ‌you‌ ‌in‌ ‌your‌ ‌job‌‌
hunt.‌ ‌
Improve‌‌your‌‌emailing‌‌skills‌ ‌
Whilst‌‌social‌‌media‌‌has‌‌become‌‌an‌‌important‌‌part‌‌of‌‌our‌‌everyday‌‌lives,‌‌
nothing‌ ‌beats‌ ‌a‌ ‌well‌ ‌written‌ ‌email.‌ ‌Emails‌ ‌remain‌ ‌the‌ ‌dominant‌ ‌method‌ ‌of‌‌
communication‌ ‌in‌ ‌business,‌ ‌but‌ ‌there‌ ‌are‌ ‌some‌ ‌key‌ ‌points‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌your‌ ‌email‌‌
read‌‌and‌‌acted‌‌upon.‌ ‌
Always‌ ‌keep‌ ‌the‌ ‌email‌ ‌short,‌ ‌easy‌ ‌to‌ ‌ready,‌ ‌and‌ ‌focus‌ ‌mainly‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌‌
recipient.‌ ‌It‌ ‌is‌ ‌always‌ ‌a‌ ‌good‌ ‌idea‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌a‌ ‌little‌ ‌research‌ ‌into‌ ‌the‌ ‌recipient‌‌
beforehand,‌‌and‌‌then‌‌tailor‌‌the‌‌email‌‌to‌‌mention‌‌shared‌‌contacts,‌‌interests‌‌or‌‌
specific‌‌things‌‌they‌‌have‌‌done‌‌that‌‌have‌‌made‌‌an‌‌impression.‌ ‌
Go‌‌in‌‌with‌‌no‌‌expectations‌ ‌
Resist‌ ‌the‌ ‌urge‌ ‌to‌ ‌raise‌ ‌expectations‌ ‌on‌ ‌a‌‌single‌‌meeting,‌‌job,‌‌company‌‌
or‌‌possible‌‌connection.‌‌The‌‌perfect‌‌networking‌‌event‌‌or‌‌connection‌‌is‌‌merely‌‌
the‌‌one‌‌which‌‌provides‌‌the‌‌desired‌‌result.‌‌ ‌
By‌ ‌placing‌ ‌huge‌ ‌importance‌ ‌to‌ ‌single‌ ‌meetings‌ ‌or‌ ‌people,‌ ‌you‌ ‌are‌‌
limiting‌‌your‌‌control‌‌over‌‌the‌‌situation.‌‌This‌‌can‌‌leave‌‌you‌‌more‌‌vulnerable‌‌to‌‌
negative‌‌feelings‌‌or‌‌depression‌‌and‌‌is‌‌best‌‌to‌‌avoid.‌‌No‌‌matter‌‌how‌‌promising‌‌
a‌ ‌job‌ ‌opportunity‌ ‌sounds,‌ ‌always‌ ‌keep‌ ‌the‌ ‌job‌ ‌search‌ ‌going‌ ‌to‌ ‌avoid‌‌
disappointment.‌ ‌
Focus‌‌your‌‌efforts‌ ‌
The‌‌counter‌‌point‌‌to‌‌ensuring‌‌that‌‌you‌‌are‌‌always‌‌adding‌‌value‌‌to‌‌others‌‌
in‌ ‌your‌ ‌network,‌ ‌is‌ ‌to‌ ‌expect‌ ‌the‌ ‌same‌ ‌in‌ ‌return.‌ ‌Networking‌ ‌should‌ ‌be‌‌
mutually‌ ‌beneficial,‌ ‌so‌ ‌if‌ ‌you‌ ‌have‌ ‌some‌ ‌connections‌ ‌that‌ ‌always‌ ‌seem‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌‌
asking‌‌for‌‌that‌‌little‌‌extra‌‌help‌‌without‌‌offering‌‌any‌‌value‌‌themselves,‌‌it‌‌could‌‌
be‌ ‌time‌ ‌to‌ ‌de-prioritise‌ ‌them.‌ ‌This‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌personal‌ ‌call,‌ ‌but‌ ‌by‌ ‌focusing‌ ‌on‌ ‌a‌‌
quality‌ ‌business‌ ‌network‌ ‌over‌ ‌a‌ ‌large‌ ‌but‌ ‌ineffective‌ ‌one,‌ ‌you‌ ‌will‌‌be‌‌able‌‌to‌‌
prioritise‌‌your‌‌resources‌‌and‌‌time‌‌better‌‌and‌‌attain‌‌greater‌‌results.‌ ‌
Work‌‌on‌‌your‌‌communication‌‌skills‌ ‌
Good c‌ ommunication‌ ‌skills‌are‌ ‌the‌ ‌most‌ ‌important‌ ‌factor‌ ‌in‌‌
differentiating‌‌successful‌‌individuals‌‌in‌‌business.‌‌ ‌
 We‌ ‌all‌‌know‌‌of‌‌people‌‌that‌‌are‌‌incredibly‌‌intelligent‌‌but‌‌lack‌‌the‌‌ability‌‌
to‌‌communicate‌‌effectively,‌‌limiting‌‌their‌‌career‌‌progression.‌‌ ‌
In‌‌networking,‌‌people‌‌are‌‌generally‌‌willing‌‌to‌‌help,‌‌but‌‌if‌‌you‌‌are‌‌unable‌‌
to‌‌communicate‌‌what‌‌you‌‌want‌‌effectively,‌‌they‌‌will‌‌be‌‌unable‌‌to‌‌act‌‌upon‌‌it.‌ ‌
Hone‌‌an‌‌impressive‌‌elevator‌‌pitch‌
The‌ ‌30-second‌ ‌elevator‌ ‌pitch‌ ‌remains‌ ‌a‌ ‌constant‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌world‌ ‌of‌‌
business‌ ‌networking.‌ ‌People‌ ‌pass‌ ‌judgements‌ ‌on‌ ‌others‌ ‌very‌ ‌quickly,‌ ‌so‌ ‌the‌‌
elevator‌ ‌pitch‌ ‌is‌‌useful,‌‌and‌‌extremely‌‌important‌‌for‌‌summarising‌‌what‌‌value‌‌
we‌‌offer‌‌in‌‌as‌‌few‌‌words‌‌as‌‌possible.‌‌Make‌‌sure‌‌your‌‌pitch‌‌exudes‌‌passion‌‌and‌‌
personality,‌‌on‌‌top‌‌of‌‌key‌‌milestones‌‌and‌‌achievements.‌ ‌
Understand‌‌that‌‌position‌‌doesn’t‌‌always‌‌indicate‌‌influence‌ ‌
Within‌‌any‌‌organisation‌‌there‌‌is‌‌a‌‌unique‌‌blend‌‌of‌‌politics‌‌and‌‌influence‌‌
which‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌to‌ ‌penetrate‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌outside.‌ ‌For‌ ‌some‌ ‌companies,‌‌
CEOs‌ ‌and‌ ‌managers‌ ‌may‌ ‌be‌ ‌reluctant‌ ‌to‌ ‌respond‌ ‌to‌ ‌you‌ ‌due‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌open‌‌
position‌ ‌being‌ ‌too‌ ‌entry‌ ‌level,‌ ‌or‌ ‌they‌ ‌may‌ ‌simply‌ ‌trust‌ ‌other‌ ‌colleague’s‌‌
opinions‌ ‌over‌ ‌their‌ ‌own‌ ‌on‌ ‌hiring‌ ‌decisions.‌ ‌This‌ ‌is‌ ‌another‌ ‌example‌ ‌of‌ ‌just‌‌
how‌ ‌important‌ ‌it‌ ‌is‌‌to‌‌perform‌‌extensive‌‌research‌‌on‌‌preferred‌‌organisations‌‌
to‌ ‌get‌ ‌a‌ ‌better‌ ‌understanding‌ ‌of‌ ‌who‌ ‌holds‌ ‌influence,‌ ‌and‌ ‌how‌ ‌they‌ ‌may‌ ‌be‌‌
able‌‌to‌‌help‌‌you.‌ ‌
‌
‌

Feedback‌‌giving‌‌skills‌ ‌
Feedback‌‌is‌‌sort‌‌of‌‌a‌‌necessary‌‌evil.‌‌No‌‌one‌‌particularly‌‌likes‌‌to‌‌listen‌‌to‌‌
what‌ ‌they’re‌ ‌doing‌ ‌wrong,‌ ‌and‌ ‌often‌ ‌the‌ ‌words‌ ‌are‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌or‌ ‌confusing‌ ‌to‌‌
hear.‌‌And‌‌feedback‌‌isn’t‌‌especially‌‌easy‌‌to‌‌give,‌‌either. ‌ ‌
‌
The‌‌4‌‌Types‌‌of‌‌Feedback‌ ‌
Virtually‌‌all‌‌feedback‌‌can‌‌be‌‌classified‌‌as‌‌one‌‌of‌‌these‌‌4‌‌types:‌ ‌
● Directive‌ ‌
● Contingency‌ ‌
● Attribution‌ ‌
● Impact‌ ‌
Directive‌feedback‌ ‌tells‌ ‌someone‌ ‌what‌ ‌to‌ ‌do,‌ ‌even‌‌if‌‌you’re‌‌phrasing‌‌it‌‌
“nicely.”‌ ‌For‌ ‌example, “I‌ ‌suggest‌ ‌that‌ ‌you‌ ‌make‌ ‌priorities‌ ‌clearer‌ ‌to‌ ‌your‌‌
groupmates.”‌ ‌
Contingency‌feedback‌ ‌gives‌ ‌a‌ ‌future‌ ‌consequence:‌ ‌“If‌ ‌you‌ ‌keep‌‌
interrupting‌‌people‌‌in‌‌meetings,‌‌they’ll‌‌stop‌‌cooperating‌‌with‌‌you.”‌ ‌
 Attribution‌feedback‌ ‌describes‌ ‌someone‌ ‌or‌ ‌their‌ ‌actions‌ ‌in‌ ‌terms‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌‌
quality‌‌or‌‌label,‌‌as‌‌in‌‌“You’re‌‌a‌‌good‌‌communicator” or‌‌“You’re‌‌undisciplined.”‌ ‌
Impact‌feedback,‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌other‌ ‌hand,‌ ‌informs‌ ‌the‌ ‌receiver‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌‌
effect‌ ‌their‌ ‌actions‌ ‌have‌ ‌had‌ ‌on‌ ‌other‌ ‌people‌ ‌or‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌organization.‌ ‌Impact‌‌
feedback‌ ‌is‌ ‌important‌ ‌in‌ ‌performance‌ ‌reviews‌ ‌because‌ ‌it‌ ‌can‌ ‌shed‌ ‌light‌ ‌on‌‌
something‌ ‌your‌ ‌direct‌ ‌report‌ ‌never‌ ‌knew‌ ‌or‌ ‌thought‌ ‌about.‌ ‌It‌ ‌gets‌ ‌at‌ ‌“why”‌‌
their‌ ‌behaviors‌ ‌are‌ ‌either‌ ‌working‌ ‌or‌ ‌not‌ ‌working.‌ ‌An‌ ‌example‌ ‌of‌ ‌impact‌‌
feedback‌‌is:‌‌“Team‌‌members‌‌were‌‌confused,‌‌and‌‌I‌‌felt‌‌frustrated.”‌ ‌
You’ll‌ ‌be‌ ‌more‌ ‌effective‌ ‌if‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌skilled‌‌at‌‌using‌‌all‌‌4‌‌types‌‌of‌‌feedback‌‌
for‌ ‌the‌ ‌right‌ ‌times‌ ‌and‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌right‌ ‌reasons.‌ ‌You’ll‌ ‌be‌ ‌even‌ ‌better‌ ‌with‌ ‌lots‌‌
of practice.‌ ‌
‌
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Avoid‌‌These‌‌10‌‌Common‌‌Mistakes‌‌in‌‌Giving‌‌Feedback‌ ‌
When‌ ‌giving‌ ‌different‌ ‌types‌ ‌of‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌to‌ ‌others,‌ ‌avoid‌ ‌these‌ ‌10‌‌
common‌ ‌blunders, and‌ ‌if‌ ‌you’ve‌ ‌made‌ ‌these‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌mistakes‌ ‌before,‌ ‌don’t‌‌
beat‌‌yourself‌‌up.‌‌Just‌‌avoid‌‌them‌‌in‌‌the‌‌future.‌ ‌
The‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌judges‌ ‌individuals,‌ ‌not‌ ‌actions.‌ ‌Putting‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌in‌‌
judgmental‌ ‌terms‌ ‌puts‌ ‌people‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌‌defensive.‌‌And‌‌you’ve‌‌sent‌‌the‌‌message‌‌
that‌‌you‌‌know‌‌what’s‌‌right‌‌or‌‌wrong.‌
The‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌is‌ ‌too‌ ‌vague.‌ ‌Steer‌ ‌clear‌ ‌of‌ ‌generalized,‌ ‌cliché‌‌
catchphrases.‌ ‌If‌ ‌you‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌really‌ ‌encourage‌ ‌someone‌ ‌to‌ ‌repeat‌ ‌productive‌‌
behavior,‌‌you‌‌have‌‌to‌‌let‌‌them‌‌know‌‌what‌‌they‌‌did‌‌so‌‌they‌‌can‌‌keep‌‌doing‌‌it.‌ ‌
The‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌speaks‌ ‌for‌ ‌others.‌ ‌Stick‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌information‌ ‌that‌ ‌you‌‌
know.‌ ‌Dragging‌ ‌a‌ ‌third‌‌party’s‌‌name‌‌into‌‌the‌‌mix‌‌only‌‌confuses‌‌the‌‌recipient,‌‌
who‌‌then‌‌wonders‌‌why‌‌others‌‌are‌‌talking‌‌about‌‌them‌‌behind‌‌their‌‌back.‌ ‌
Negative‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌gets‌ ‌sandwiched‌ ‌between‌ ‌positive‌ ‌messages.‌ ‌It‌‌
may‌ ‌seem‌ ‌like‌ ‌a‌ ‌good‌ ‌idea‌ ‌to‌ ‌unburden‌ ‌the‌ ‌blow‌‌of‌‌negative‌‌comments‌‌with‌‌
positive‌‌ones,‌‌but‌‌the‌‌recipient‌‌is‌‌smart‌‌enough‌‌to‌‌read‌‌between‌‌the‌‌lines,‌‌too.‌ ‌
The‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌is‌ ‌exaggerated‌ ‌with‌ ‌generalities.‌ ‌Avoid‌ ‌those‌ ‌2‌ ‌little‌‌
words:‌ ‌“a ‌ lways‌”‌ ‌and‌ ‌“n
‌ ever‌.”‌ ‌It‌ ‌puts‌ ‌people‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌defensive‌ ‌because‌ ‌there’s‌‌
usually‌‌that o ‌ ne‌time…‌ ‌
The‌‌feedback‌‌psychoanalyzes‌‌the‌‌motives‌‌behind‌‌behavior.‌‌‌It‌‌could‌‌
be‌ ‌a‌ ‌divorce,‌ ‌resentment‌ ‌over‌ ‌a‌ ‌co-worker’s‌ ‌advancement,‌ ‌or‌ ‌burnout,‌ ‌but‌‌
whatever‌ ‌you‌ ‌think‌ ‌you‌ ‌know‌ ‌about‌ ‌someone’s‌ ‌intents‌ ‌and‌ ‌motives‌ ‌is‌‌
probably‌‌dead‌‌wrong.‌ ‌
 The‌‌feedback‌‌goes‌‌on‌‌too‌‌long.‌‌Know‌‌when‌‌to‌‌stop.‌‌People‌‌need‌‌time‌‌
to‌‌process‌‌the‌‌information‌‌they’ve‌‌received.‌ ‌
The‌‌feedback‌‌contains‌‌an‌‌implied‌‌threat‌.‌‌Telling‌‌someone‌‌their‌‌job‌‌is‌‌
in‌ ‌jeopardy‌ ‌doesn’t‌ ‌reinforce‌‌good‌‌behavior‌‌or‌‌illustrate‌‌bad‌‌behavior.‌‌It‌‌only‌‌
creates‌‌animosity.‌ ‌
The‌‌feedback‌‌uses‌‌inappropriate‌‌humor.‌‌You‌‌might‌‌use‌‌sarcasm‌‌as‌‌a‌‌
substitute‌‌for‌‌feedback,‌‌especially‌‌if‌‌you’re‌‌uncomfortable‌‌giving‌‌it‌‌in‌‌the‌‌first‌‌
place.‌‌Keep‌‌the‌‌snide‌‌comments‌‌to‌‌yourself.‌ ‌
The‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌question,‌ ‌not‌ ‌a‌ ‌statement.‌‌Phrasing‌‌feedback‌‌as‌‌a‌‌
question‌ ‌is‌ ‌too‌ ‌indirect‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌effective.‌ ‌And‌ ‌it‌ ‌may‌ ‌even‌ ‌be‌ ‌interpreted‌ ‌as‌‌
sarcastic. R ‌ eally‌?‌ ‌
‌
‌
Feedback‌‌Techniques‌ ‌
Giving‌ ‌and‌ ‌receiving‌ ‌effective‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌crucial‌ ‌component‌ ‌of‌ ‌our‌‌
development‌ ‌journey.‌ ‌It's‌ ‌also‌ ‌difficult.‌ ‌Many‌ ‌business‌ ‌professionals‌ ‌tout‌ ‌the‌‌
“sandwich‌ ‌approach"‌ ‌or‌ ‌“hamburger‌ ‌method"‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌valuable‌ ‌technique‌ ‌for‌‌
tackling‌ ‌challenging‌ ‌conversations.‌ ‌In‌ ‌this‌ ‌tactic,‌ ‌a‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌giver‌ ‌offers‌ ‌a‌‌
piece‌ ‌of‌ ‌negative‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌“sandwiched"‌ ‌between‌ ‌two‌ ‌positive‌ ‌ones,‌ ‌thus‌‌
easing‌‌the‌‌blow‌‌of‌‌the‌‌critique.‌‌Although‌‌some‌‌tout‌‌the‌‌technique‌‌as‌‌effective,‌‌
others‌‌see‌‌it‌‌as‌‌a‌‌hindrance‌‌to‌‌getting‌‌the‌‌most‌‌out‌‌of‌‌their‌‌workforce. ‌ ‌
The‌ ‌Pros‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌“Compliment‌ ‌Sandwich".‌ ‌Those‌ ‌in‌ ‌favor‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌‌
sandwich‌ ‌approach‌ ‌often‌ ‌speak‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌technique's‌ ‌ability‌ ‌to‌ ‌soften‌ ‌harsh‌‌
criticisms.‌‌The‌‌method:‌ ‌
● May‌‌ease‌‌the‌‌sting‌‌of‌‌hearing‌‌difficult‌‌comments‌ ‌
● Encourages‌‌specificity‌‌in‌‌the‌‌feedback‌‌process‌ ‌
● Allows‌‌people‌‌to‌‌increase‌‌their‌‌receptiveness‌‌to‌‌criticism‌ ‌
● Enables‌‌meetings‌‌to‌‌end‌‌on‌‌a‌‌positive‌‌note‌ ‌
● Can‌‌be‌‌useful‌‌for‌‌managers‌‌who‌‌find‌‌it‌‌difficult‌‌to‌‌engage‌‌in‌‌criticism‌ ‌
The‌ ‌Cons‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌“Hamburger‌ ‌Method".‌ ‌Those‌ ‌who‌ ‌disagree‌ ‌with‌‌the‌‌
sandwich‌ ‌approach‌ ‌generally‌ ‌state‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌method‌ ‌brings‌ ‌with‌ ‌it‌ ‌a‌ ‌host‌ ‌of‌‌
negative‌ ‌consequences.‌ ‌In‌ ‌an evaluation done‌ ‌by‌ ‌the J‌ ournal‌ ‌of‌ ‌Behavioral‌‌
Studies‌ ‌in‌ ‌Business‌,‌ ‌researchers‌ ‌found‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌method‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌damaging‌ ‌for‌‌
several‌‌reasons:‌ ‌
● Including‌ ‌positives‌ ‌may‌ ‌undermine‌ ‌the‌ ‌criticism‌ ‌involved,‌ ‌thus‌‌
rendering‌‌that‌‌criticism‌‌ineffective‌ ‌
● The‌ ‌method‌ ‌trains‌ ‌people‌ ‌to‌ ‌distrust‌ ‌praise,‌ ‌as‌ ‌they‌ ‌will‌ ‌begin‌ ‌to‌‌
anticipate‌‌the‌‌criticism‌‌that‌‌comes‌‌along‌‌with‌‌it‌ ‌
 ● The‌‌method‌‌detracts‌‌from‌‌praise‌‌when‌‌it‌‌is‌‌truly‌‌due‌ ‌
● The‌ m ‌ ethod‌ ‌may‌ ‌serve‌ ‌more‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌crutch‌ ‌for‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌givers‌ ‌who‌‌
struggle‌ ‌with‌ ‌giving‌ ‌feedback‌ ‌rather‌ ‌than‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌tool‌ ‌for‌ ‌helping‌ ‌people‌‌
improve‌ ‌
● It‌ ‌may‌ ‌give‌ ‌people‌ ‌a‌ ‌diluted‌ ‌or‌ ‌inaccurate‌ ‌understanding‌‌of‌‌their‌‌work‌‌
performance‌‌and‌‌what‌‌changes‌‌are‌‌required‌‌of‌‌them‌ ‌
Furthermore,‌ ‌the‌ ‌sandwich‌ ‌approach‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌wildly‌ ‌inappropriate‌ ‌for‌‌
certain‌ ‌situations,‌ ‌such‌ ‌as‌ ‌major‌ ‌breaches‌ ‌of‌ ‌trust‌ ‌or‌ ‌safety‌ ‌concerns.‌ ‌These‌‌
situations‌ ‌require‌ ‌a‌ ‌far‌ ‌blunter‌ ‌approach,‌ ‌rendering‌ ‌the‌ ‌sandwich‌ ‌method‌‌
moot.‌ ‌
While‌‌the‌‌merits‌‌of‌‌the‌‌sandwich‌‌approach‌‌are‌‌debatable,‌‌all‌‌people‌‌should‌‌
know‌‌the‌‌differences‌‌between‌‌constructive‌‌and‌‌destructive‌‌criticism.‌ ‌
Constructive‌ ‌Criticism‌ ‌vs.‌ ‌Destructive‌ ‌Criticism.‌ ‌Constructive‌ ‌criticism‌‌
and‌ ‌destructive‌ ‌criticism‌ ‌are‌ ‌two‌ ‌very‌ ‌different‌‌ways‌‌of‌‌identifying‌‌shortfalls‌‌
to‌‌people.‌‌Using‌‌constructive‌‌criticism‌‌is‌‌ideal. ‌ ‌
Constructive‌‌criticism:‌ ‌
● Provides‌‌tangible‌‌information‌‌that‌‌helps‌‌people‌‌improve‌‌their‌‌behavior‌ ‌
● Emphasizes‌‌results‌ ‌
● Discusses‌ ‌specific‌ ‌problem‌ ‌areas‌ ‌that‌ ‌require‌ ‌change‌ ‌rather‌ ‌than‌‌
attacking‌‌the‌‌whole‌‌person‌ ‌
● Doesn't‌‌indulge‌‌feelings;‌‌sticks‌‌to‌‌facts‌ ‌
● Only‌‌discusses‌‌behaviors‌‌that‌‌are‌‌changeable‌ ‌
● Is‌‌offered‌‌in‌‌calm,‌‌unthreatening‌‌vocal‌‌tones‌ ‌
● Makes‌ ‌room‌ ‌for‌ ‌discussion‌ ‌with‌ ‌people‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌benefits‌ ‌of‌ ‌changed‌‌
behavior‌ ‌
On‌‌the‌‌other‌‌hand,‌‌destructive‌‌criticism:‌ ‌
● Often‌‌makes‌‌judgments,‌‌accusations,‌‌and‌‌exaggerations‌ ‌
● Makes‌‌negative‌‌assumptions‌‌about‌‌people‌‌or‌‌their‌‌intent‌ ‌
● Tends‌‌to‌‌be‌‌general‌‌rather‌‌than‌‌specific‌ ‌
● Can‌‌be‌‌unrestrained‌ ‌
● May‌ ‌discuss‌ ‌things‌ ‌that‌ ‌aren't‌ ‌changeable,‌ ‌such‌ ‌as‌ ‌a‌ ‌person’s‌ ‌essential‌‌
personality‌ ‌
● Can‌‌involve‌‌yelling,‌‌condescension‌‌or‌‌threats‌ ‌
● Diminishes‌ ‌room‌ ‌for‌ ‌discussion‌ ‌with‌ ‌people,‌ ‌relying‌ ‌instead‌ ‌on‌ ‌giving‌‌
advice‌‌or‌‌commands‌ ‌
Ultimately,‌ ‌constructive‌ ‌criticism‌ ‌is‌ ‌more‌ ‌likely‌ ‌to‌ ‌lead‌ ‌to‌ ‌self-reflection,‌
while‌ ‌destructive‌ ‌criticism‌ ‌is‌ ‌more‌ ‌likely‌ ‌to‌ ‌lead‌ ‌to‌ ‌unhelpful‌ ‌blaming.‌‌
Whether‌ ‌understanding‌ ‌criticism‌ ‌styles‌ ‌or‌ ‌evaluating‌ ‌the‌ ‌sandwich‌ ‌method,‌‌
business‌‌leaders‌‌should‌‌consider‌‌this‌‌information‌‌as‌‌important‌‌tools‌‌for‌‌their‌‌
wheelhouse.‌ ‌
‌
E2C2.‌‌A‌‌different,‌‌more‌‌positive‌‌and‌‌effective‌‌approach‌‌is‌‌E2C2.‌‌This‌‌approach‌‌
assumes‌ ‌that‌ ‌your‌ ‌feedback-ee‌ ‌is‌ ‌robust‌ ‌enough‌ ‌to‌ ‌listen‌ ‌to‌ ‌some‌ ‌criticism,‌‌
and‌‌wants‌‌to‌‌know‌‌where‌‌they‌‌are‌‌going‌‌wrong‌‌(or‌‌right).‌‌It‌‌helps‌‌you‌‌clearly‌‌
deliver‌‌the‌‌most‌‌important‌‌messages.‌ ‌
How‌‌to‌‌give‌‌feedback‌‌using‌‌E2C2:‌ ‌
Start‌‌the‌‌feedback‌‌conversation‌‌with‌‌the‌‌two‌‌E's:‌ ‌
E‌‌=‌‌Evidence‌ ‌
E‌‌=‌‌Effect‌ ‌
For‌‌example:‌‌Evidence‌‌-‌‌"Your‌‌last‌‌two‌‌reports‌‌had‌‌several‌‌factual‌‌errors.‌‌This‌‌
one‌‌on‌‌page‌‌3‌‌and‌‌another‌‌on‌‌page‌‌8."‌ ‌
Effect‌ ‌-‌ ‌"The‌ ‌effect‌ ‌this‌ ‌has‌ ‌on‌ ‌our‌ ‌department,‌ ‌is‌ ‌that‌ ‌it‌ ‌undermines‌ ‌our‌‌
credibility‌ ‌and‌ ‌it‌ ‌means‌ ‌that‌ ‌we‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌spend‌ ‌time‌ ‌reproducing‌ ‌the‌ ‌report‌‌
and‌‌issuing‌‌corrections."‌ ‌
An‌‌important‌‌point‌‌is‌‌to‌‌start‌‌the‌‌conversation‌‌with‌‌the‌‌"E"‌‌presented‌‌as‌‌
facts.‌‌Don't‌‌beat‌‌around‌‌the‌‌bush‌‌or‌‌get‌‌sidetracked‌‌into‌‌a‌‌conversation‌‌about‌‌
the‌ ‌reasons‌ ‌why‌ ‌etc.‌ ‌It's‌ ‌important‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌your‌ ‌view‌ ‌across‌ ‌clearly,‌ ‌and‌‌
factually.‌ ‌
You're‌ ‌not‌ ‌attacking‌ ‌the‌ ‌person,‌ ‌you're‌ ‌just‌ ‌stating‌ ‌the‌ ‌facts‌ ‌about‌ ‌one‌‌
aspect‌‌of‌‌that‌‌person's‌‌work.‌‌Don't‌‌make‌‌a‌‌huge‌‌big‌‌deal‌‌out‌‌of‌‌it.‌ ‌
Continue‌ ‌the‌ ‌conversation‌ ‌with‌ ‌what‌ ‌you‌ ‌would‌ ‌like‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌change‌‌
and/or‌‌continue:‌ ‌
C‌‌=‌‌Change‌ ‌
C‌‌=‌‌Continue‌ ‌
Change‌‌-‌‌"It‌‌would‌‌be‌‌great‌‌if‌‌your‌‌next‌‌report‌‌could‌‌be‌‌error‌‌free."‌ ‌
Continue‌ ‌-‌ ‌"You're‌ ‌a‌ ‌good‌ ‌writer‌ ‌and‌ ‌people‌ ‌really‌ ‌value‌ ‌your‌ ‌reports.‌ ‌It's‌‌
great‌‌that‌‌you‌‌always‌‌get‌‌them‌‌out‌‌on‌‌time.‌‌Let's‌‌figure‌‌out‌‌a‌‌way‌‌you‌‌can‌‌keep‌‌
delivering‌‌that‌‌timeliness‌‌without‌‌compromising‌‌accuracy."‌ ‌
‌

Explanation‌‌skills‌ ‌
Have‌ ‌you‌ ‌ever‌ ‌tried‌ ‌explaining‌ ‌something‌ ‌to‌‌someone‌‌only‌‌to‌‌receive‌‌a‌‌
confused‌ ‌look‌ ‌in‌ ‌return?‌ ‌It’s‌ ‌incredibly‌ ‌frustrating.‌ ‌For‌ ‌both‌ ‌parties.‌ ‌But‌ ‌it’s‌‌
also‌ ‌fairly‌ ‌common.‌ ‌We’ve‌ ‌all‌ ‌been‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌giving‌ ‌and‌ ‌receiving‌ ‌end‌ ‌of‌ ‌this‌‌
situation.‌ ‌It’s‌ ‌awkward.‌ ‌It‌ ‌can‌‌lead‌‌to‌‌poor‌‌feelings‌‌on‌‌both‌‌sides.‌‌It’s‌‌just‌‌not‌‌
good‌‌when‌‌it‌‌happens.‌ ‌
 You‌ ‌can’t‌ ‌control‌ ‌the‌ ‌way‌ ‌others‌ ‌explain‌ ‌things‌ ‌to‌ ‌you.‌ ‌But‌ ‌you‌ ‌can‌‌
control‌‌the‌‌way‌‌you‌‌explain‌‌things‌‌to‌‌others.‌‌Here‌‌are‌‌a‌‌few‌‌tips‌‌for‌‌improving‌‌
your‌‌explanation‌‌skills…‌ ‌
Gauge‌‌Interest‌‌Level‌ ‌
This‌ ‌is‌ ‌the‌ ‌biggest‌ ‌factor‌ ‌in‌ ‌explanation‌ ‌communication.‌ ‌Does‌ ‌the‌‌
person‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌receiving‌ ‌end w ‌ ant‌ ‌to‌ ‌listen‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌explanation?‌ ‌If‌ ‌there‌ ‌are‌‌
issues‌ ‌with‌‌your‌‌explanations,‌‌odds‌‌are‌‌pretty‌‌good‌‌that‌‌you’re‌‌telling‌‌people‌‌
information‌‌they‌‌don’t‌‌want‌‌to‌‌hear.‌‌It’s‌‌harsh,‌‌but‌‌it’s‌‌the‌‌truth.‌‌And‌‌if‌‌you’re‌‌
looking‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌solution‌ ‌the‌ ‌best‌ ‌answer‌ ‌may‌ ‌be‌ ‌to‌ ‌reassess‌ ‌the‌ ‌topics‌ ‌you’re‌‌
discussing.‌ ‌
When‌‌we‌‌struggle‌‌with‌‌conversation‌‌it’s‌‌often‌‌because‌‌we‌‌focus‌‌on‌‌what‌‌
we‌‌want‌‌to‌‌explain.‌‌Even‌‌if‌‌you’re‌‌not‌‌the‌‌greatest‌‌at‌‌explaining‌‌things,‌‌you’re‌‌
more‌ ‌likely‌‌to‌‌find‌‌the‌‌right‌‌words‌‌when‌‌the‌‌person‌‌listening‌‌is‌‌interesting‌‌in‌‌
learning.‌ ‌They’re‌ ‌asking‌ ‌questions.‌ ‌They’re‌ ‌telling‌ ‌you‌ ‌to‌ ‌repeat‌‌things.‌‌They‌‌
have‌‌patience.‌‌They‌‌encourage‌‌you.‌ ‌
Storytelling‌ ‌
One‌‌of‌‌the‌‌tricks‌‌that‌‌works‌‌really‌‌well‌‌when‌‌explaining‌‌something‌‌is‌‌to‌‌
share‌ ‌a‌ ‌personal‌ ‌story.‌ ‌When‌ ‌doing‌ ‌this,‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌going‌ ‌to‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌follow‌ ‌the‌‌
other‌ ‌tips‌ ‌here.‌ ‌Mainly,‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌overshare‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌details.‌ ‌Stick‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌‌normal‌‌
amount‌‌of‌‌details‌‌and‌‌conversation‌‌length‌‌for‌‌the‌‌setting.‌ ‌
If‌‌the‌‌person‌‌shows‌‌interest‌‌in‌‌you‌‌and‌‌a‌‌topic‌‌you’ve‌‌mentioned,‌‌that’s‌‌
an‌ ‌opening‌ ‌to‌ ‌share‌ ‌a‌ ‌story.‌ ‌Perhaps‌ ‌one‌ ‌that‌ ‌is‌ ‌just‌ ‌a‌ ‌minute‌‌or‌‌two.‌‌If‌‌they‌‌
ask‌‌follow-up‌‌questions,‌‌perhaps‌‌you‌‌can‌‌go‌‌into‌‌more‌‌detail.‌ ‌
The‌‌great‌‌thing‌‌about‌‌a‌‌story‌‌is‌‌that‌‌you’re‌‌not‌‌laying‌‌out‌‌steps‌‌for‌‌how‌‌
to‌‌do‌‌something.‌‌It’s‌‌less‌‌about‌‌the‌‌how-to‌‌and‌‌more‌‌about‌‌the‌‌full‌‌experience.‌‌
And‌‌the‌‌listener‌‌is‌‌able‌‌to‌‌take‌‌their‌‌own‌‌lessons‌‌from‌‌your‌‌story.‌ ‌
For‌ ‌example,‌ ‌let’s‌ ‌say‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌talking‌ ‌about‌ ‌gardening.‌ ‌The‌ ‌person‌ ‌is‌‌
interesting.‌ ‌You‌ ‌have‌ ‌a‌‌garden.‌‌They’re‌‌new‌‌to‌‌it.‌‌You‌‌can‌‌share‌‌a‌‌story‌‌about‌‌
how‌ ‌you‌ ‌planted‌ ‌a‌ ‌garden‌ ‌last‌ ‌spring.‌ ‌Just‌ ‌talk‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌process‌ ‌and‌ ‌what‌‌
happened.‌ ‌If‌ ‌they‌ ‌are‌ ‌still‌ ‌interested‌ ‌you‌ ‌can‌ ‌share‌ ‌a‌ ‌story‌ ‌about‌ ‌a‌‌time‌‌that‌‌
you‌ ‌were‌ ‌weeding‌ ‌the‌ ‌garden‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌summer.‌ ‌Or‌‌the‌‌story‌‌about‌‌the‌‌day‌‌you‌‌
did‌‌the‌‌harvesting.‌ ‌
Goldilocks‌‌Pacing‌ ‌
When‌ ‌we’re‌ ‌passionate‌ ‌about‌ ‌something‌ ‌we‌ ‌tend‌ ‌to‌ ‌talk‌ ‌fast.‌ ‌It’s‌‌
natural.‌ ‌It’s‌ ‌okay.‌ ‌But‌ ‌sometimes‌ ‌when‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌going‌ ‌too‌ ‌fast‌ ‌the‌ ‌person‌
listening‌ ‌gets‌ ‌frustrated.‌ ‌Then‌ ‌they‌ ‌ask‌‌you‌‌to‌‌repeat‌‌things‌‌and‌‌if‌‌you’re‌‌not‌‌
careful‌‌you‌‌can‌‌get‌‌frustrated‌‌and‌‌the‌‌entire‌‌conversation‌‌can‌‌fall‌‌off‌‌the‌‌rails.‌ ‌
It‌‌can‌‌also‌‌go‌‌the‌‌other‌‌way.‌‌You‌‌can‌‌compensate‌‌too‌‌much‌‌and‌‌lag‌‌with‌‌
the‌‌conversation.‌‌Or‌‌you‌‌may‌‌just‌‌be‌‌a‌‌naturally‌‌slow‌‌speaker.‌‌Not‌‌that‌‌you’re‌‌
unintelligent‌‌or‌‌anything‌‌like‌‌that.‌‌Some‌‌of‌‌us‌‌are‌‌just‌‌naturally‌‌slow‌‌speakers.‌‌
That’s‌‌fine.‌‌Being‌‌aware‌‌of‌‌it‌‌is‌‌a‌‌good‌‌thing.‌ ‌
‌

Conflict‌‌management‌ ‌
To‌‌manage‌‌conflict‌‌effectively‌‌you‌‌must‌‌be‌‌a‌‌skilled‌‌communicator.‌‌That‌‌
includes‌ ‌creating‌ ‌an‌ ‌open‌ ‌communication‌ ‌environment‌ ‌in‌ ‌your‌ ‌unit‌ ‌by‌‌
encouraging‌ ‌employees‌ ‌to‌ ‌talk‌ ‌about‌ ‌work‌ ‌issues.‌ ‌Listening‌ ‌to‌ ‌employee‌‌
concerns‌ ‌will‌ ‌foster‌ ‌an‌ ‌open‌ ‌environment.‌ ‌Make‌ ‌sure‌ ‌you‌ ‌really‌ ‌understand‌‌
what‌ ‌people‌ ‌are‌ ‌saying‌ ‌by‌ ‌asking‌ ‌questions‌‌and‌‌focusing‌‌on‌‌their‌‌perception‌‌
of‌‌the‌‌problem.‌‌ ‌
Whether‌‌you‌‌have‌‌two‌‌groupmates‌‌who‌‌are‌‌fighting‌‌for‌‌the‌‌desk‌‌next‌‌to‌‌the‌‌
window‌ ‌or‌ ‌one‌‌sibling‌‌who‌‌wants‌‌the‌‌heat‌‌on‌‌and‌‌another‌‌who‌‌doesn't,‌‌your‌‌
immediate‌ ‌response‌ ‌to‌ ‌conflict‌‌situations‌‌is‌‌essential.‌‌Here‌‌are‌‌some‌‌tips‌‌you‌‌
can‌‌use‌‌when‌‌faced‌‌with‌‌people‌‌who‌‌can't‌‌resolve‌‌their‌‌own‌‌conflicts.‌ ‌
● Acknowledge‌ ‌that‌ ‌a‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌situation‌ ‌exists‌.‌ ‌Honesty‌ ‌and‌ ‌clear‌‌
communication‌ ‌play‌ ‌an‌ ‌important‌ ‌role‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌resolution‌ ‌process.‌‌
Acquaint‌ ‌yourself‌ ‌with‌ ‌what's‌ ‌happening‌ ‌and‌ ‌be‌ ‌open‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌‌
problem.‌ ‌
● Let‌ ‌individuals‌ ‌express‌ ‌their‌ ‌feelings‌.‌‌Some‌‌feelings‌‌of‌‌anger‌‌and/or‌‌
hurt‌ ‌usually‌ ‌accompany‌ ‌conflict‌ ‌situations.‌ ‌Before‌ ‌any‌ ‌kind‌ ‌of‌‌
problem-solving‌‌can‌‌take‌‌place,‌‌these‌‌emotions‌‌should‌‌be‌‌expressed‌‌and‌‌
acknowledged.‌ ‌
● Define‌ ‌the‌ ‌problem‌.‌ ‌What‌‌is‌‌the‌‌stated‌‌problem?‌‌What‌‌is‌‌the‌‌negative‌‌
impact‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌work‌ ‌or‌ ‌relationships?‌ ‌Are‌ ‌differing‌ ‌personality‌ ‌styles‌‌
part‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌problem?‌ ‌Meet‌ ‌with‌ ‌employees‌ ‌separately‌ ‌at‌ ‌first‌ ‌and‌‌
question‌‌them‌‌about‌‌the‌‌situation.‌ ‌
● Determine‌ ‌underlying‌ ‌need‌.‌ ‌The‌ ‌goal‌ ‌of‌ ‌conflict‌ ‌resolution‌ ‌is‌ ‌not‌ ‌to‌‌
decide‌ ‌which‌ ‌person‌ ‌is‌ ‌right‌ ‌or‌ ‌wrong;‌ ‌the‌ ‌goal‌ ‌is‌ ‌to‌ ‌reach‌ ‌a‌ ‌solution‌
that‌ ‌everyone‌ ‌can‌ ‌live‌ ‌with.‌ ‌Looking‌ ‌first‌ ‌for‌ ‌needs,‌ ‌rather‌ ‌than‌‌
solutions,‌‌is‌‌a‌‌powerful‌‌tool‌‌for‌‌generating‌‌win/win‌‌options.‌‌To‌‌discover‌‌
needs,‌ ‌you‌ ‌must‌ ‌try‌ ‌to‌ ‌find‌ ‌out‌ ‌why‌ ‌people‌ ‌want‌ ‌the‌ ‌solutions‌ ‌they‌‌
initially‌ ‌proposed.‌ ‌Once‌ ‌you‌ ‌understand‌ ‌the‌ ‌advantages‌ ‌their‌‌solutions‌‌
have‌‌for‌‌them,‌‌you‌‌have‌‌discovered‌‌their‌‌needs.‌ ‌
● Find‌‌common‌‌areas‌‌of‌‌agreement,‌‌no‌‌matter‌‌how‌‌small‌:‌ ‌
o Agree‌‌on‌‌the‌‌problem‌ ‌
o Agree‌‌on‌‌the‌‌procedure‌‌to‌‌follow‌ ‌
o Agree‌‌on‌‌worst‌‌fears‌ ‌
o Agree‌‌on‌‌some‌‌small‌‌change‌‌to‌‌give‌‌an‌‌experience‌‌of‌‌success‌ ‌
 ● Find‌‌solutions‌‌to‌‌satisfy‌‌needs‌:‌ ‌
o Problem-solve‌‌by‌‌generating‌‌multiple‌‌alternatives‌ ‌
o Determine‌‌which‌‌actions‌‌will‌‌be‌‌taken‌ ‌
o Make‌‌sure‌‌involved‌‌parties‌‌buy‌‌into‌‌actions.‌‌(Total‌‌silence‌‌may‌‌be‌‌
a‌‌sign‌‌of‌‌passive‌‌resistance.)‌‌Be‌‌sure‌‌you‌‌get‌‌real‌‌agreement‌‌from‌‌
everyone.‌ ‌
● Determine‌‌follow-up‌‌you‌‌will‌‌take‌‌to‌‌monitor‌‌actions‌.‌‌You‌‌may‌‌want‌‌
to‌ ‌schedule‌ ‌a‌ ‌follow-up‌ ‌meeting‌ ‌in‌ ‌about‌ ‌two‌‌weeks‌‌to‌‌determine‌‌how‌‌
the‌‌parties‌‌are‌‌doing.‌ ‌
● Determine‌ ‌what‌ ‌you'll‌ ‌do‌ ‌if‌ ‌the‌ ‌conflict‌ ‌goes‌ ‌unresolved‌.‌ ‌If‌ ‌the‌‌
conflict‌ ‌is‌ ‌causing‌ ‌a‌ ‌disruption‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌department‌ ‌and‌ ‌it‌ ‌remains‌‌
unresolved,‌‌you‌‌may‌‌need‌‌to‌‌explore‌‌other‌‌avenues.‌ ‌
‌
Review‌‌questions:‌‌ ‌
1. What‌ ‌role‌ ‌do‌ ‌facial‌ ‌expressions,‌ ‌gestures‌ ‌and‌ ‌pauses‌ ‌play‌ ‌in‌‌
communication?‌ ‌
2. Give‌ ‌examples‌ ‌to‌ ‌where‌ ‌Storytelling‌ ‌would‌ ‌be‌ ‌a‌ ‌helpful‌ ‌method‌ ‌to‌‌
explain‌‌something‌‌difficult.‌ ‌
3. What‌‌are‌‌the‌‌forms‌‌of‌‌communication?‌ ‌