1983

On Monsters

My childhood fear of monsters is a theme I’ve often explored.

(Hell, you're looking at 1,272 pages of therapy, folks.) Under the bed,
in the closet, up in the attic, the laundry room, that storage room at
the end of the hall—monsters were everywhere in our house, lying in
wait. Lying in wait for me.
But where they all came from, where these monsters all lived, was
obviously one place: The Basement. I mean, all basements provide
perfect conditions for any unnatural beast: dark, cold, drafty, lots of
shadowy places to lurk—a complete monster ecosystem. All they
needed was a little kid chow thrown to them now and then.
Now, in our house, the door to the basement was in the kitchen,
and for some ungodly reason the light switch for the basement was
controlled on the kitchen side. For a monster-fearing kid, especially
one with an older brother who had obviously entered into some kind
of evil pact with these same monsters in order to save his own skin,
this was not a good thing.
One evening that I would like to forget, I was about halfway up
the stairs, returning with some firewood. (Wouldn’t it be nice if you
could hear the sound track to your own life? At least you'd have a
clue that danger was imminent.) And that's when it happened. With
an audible click, the light switch went off and I was plunged into
darkness. Welcome to nightfall in the Monster Serengeti.
I dropped the wood (the cacophony of which wrung out the last
few drops that still remained in my adrenal gland) and scrambled
blindly to the top of the stairs. There, my desperate hand finally
found the doorknob. Locked, of course. (Did I mention the lock, also
controlled from the kitchen side? Such a fun house to grow up in.)
And then, in an eerie, lilting tone, my brother's voice could be heard
from the other side: "It's coming for you, Gary! Do you hear it? It's
cooominnnnng for youuuu!”
Just like the mother wildebeest, my own mother could always
recognize the sound of one of her calves in distress. Soon she arrived,
hooves flying, driving off the hyena (the laughing variety, as usual)
and saving me from certain death at the hands of God-knows-what
that was slowly ascending the stairs behind me.
Over the years, I can't help but think about how often people have
asked me, “How do you come up with ideas?"
God, it is so easy.

268
 1983

E x “See, Agnes? ... It’s just Kevin.” “Now

. ;
ein the mon ster wasn
5 now, Billy.. ......‫رب‬‎How coul
For the time pov esr the time being. seen a monster if Ou vus zou have
in Ricky's € describe him?” ven

l've got it1 pun,

cJ? T
Larry ... an eerie
feeling like there's something on
top ofthe bed.”
*Uh-oh, Donny. Sounds like the monster in the
basement has heard you crying again. ... Let's
be reeeeal quiet and hope he goes away."

stomach h V vs.
I

sis of Todd's4
The 3 nightly cri *Shove off, buddy ... l've been
Todd's imagination working this neighborhood for years."

269
 January 3

8 ‫نت‬ ise icis RR

“RAPUNZEL, RAPUNZEL! ... LET DOWN

YOUR HAIR!”

No man is an island.

de

“Well, well ... looks like it’s time for the

old luggage test.”
‫دوو‬ s siii d‫‏‬

*That was incredible. No fur, claws, horns,

antlers, or nothin' ... just soft and pink."

270
 January 3

*Well, don't bri , you

imbecile! ... Take 'em down to the lake !
»

—————

E1
i
i

‎‫رر‬
US
1

€
€——

a 555 ‫‏‬C ‫دن‬‫لو‬

“And see this ring right here, Jimmy? ... That's another
time when the old fellow miraculously survived some
big forest fire."

271
 January 3

KLIPB?PILLC
M&M LBV MMBLALLA ‫گكگ‬‎
‫ گگ‬٢٢٢ ‫گگ‬‎٢ ٢ RAV ٢۶۱ ‫گ‬‎ ‫ظ گ‬۳ ٢ ‫څ‬‎ - ‫ټ‬‎ ‫ټ‬ ۳- - ‫ ټط ط ظ‬#‫ټطھ‬۳ ٢ -٢
٢ ٢ ٢-٢-٢ AN ‫ظا‬‎
1/10/83

1
|

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GARD ARMEN ‫م‬‎ ME ‫نود‬‎ ‫دند‬ sessiles cisci d
n
(d

€ 000000000090

75 ‫ا‬ ‫اا‬
1/11/83 |

0
[
[

“Well, look who's here. ... God's gift

to warthogs."

272
 January 3

‫ل‬
1/18/83

... could ... have ... sworn ... you ... said ...
eleven ... steps."

With a reverberating crash, Lulu's adventure on

the tractor had come to an abrupt end.

V
1/21/83

“For heaven's sake! Harold! Wake up!

We've got bed buffaloes!"

273
 January 3

AV eL
1/19/83

SAA
SSN N

‎‫کد‬
NS
‎ ‫ې‬

SO
OSES
E

TAAT.
Mistakenly flying into the nose of a hurricane

“Fool! This is an eleven-sixteenths. ... | asked

for a five-eighths!”

‫و‬ ‫دود‬ ‫و‬ ‫باط ا واد يي‬ OR Re

| 7 1/22/83

"Yes ... | believe there's a question there

in the back."

“There you go again! ... Every time the bears

fight, you're right there1?

274
 January 3

———— KRN ———— M iioii

1/20/83

aa sd
| | | | | || | |||

|
1 | i 1 | | | 1| 1 i |

came
1/24/83

tn t
A AMA
ADMIRAL
"7"
51:
IEALARD SER OES
RI Sd

Evolut ion of the St ickman

ME
| Sete 623343

*Okay, here we go! Remember, wiggle those

noses, stuff those cheeks, and act cute—
and no smoking, Carl."

275
 January 3

“Say ... now there’s a little hat |»

27 CAA

“My project’s ready for grading, Mr. Big Nose. ...

Hey! I’m talkin’ to YOU, squidbrain!”

276
 February 1983

OT <<<: |
2/2/83

eRe

“Say ... what’s a mountain goat doing way up here

in a cloud bank?”

Harold would have been on his guard, but |

he thought the old gypsy woman was i
speaking figuratively. w

27
 February 1983

“Neanderthals, Neanderthals! Can't make

fire! Can't make spear! Nyah, nyah, nyah!"

Earl! Freeze! ... Something rattled!”

Lewis and Clark meet Sylvia and Rhonda.

278
 xii
7 n
4
i Er- ucka er- ucka
“ch-ch<h -ch ‫عمم‬‎ = ٩

‫لر‬ 8
T&
"ER PPS PS
En
aul ^ elre tlt ^

of | t edd
"eeeeeeWANIA-NA

"KEE*o KEES" i hey, bay-BEE-...heybay-BEE

Animals and their mating songs ! DN ٨٢

WA
7 NA \SS

*| don't like this, Wadsworth. ... Bob never

should’ve been allowed out on the
dance floor.”

Brian has a rendezvous with destiny.

“Well, here comes Stanley now. ... Good

heavens! What’s he caught this time?”

279
 Febraary 1983

Carl shoves Roger, Roger shoves Carl, and

tempers rise.

“Hey! Look at me, everybody! I’m a cowboy! ...

Howdy, howdy, howdy!”

“Again? Oh, all right. ... One warm, summer

evening many years ago, | was basking on a
stretch of Interstate 95 not far from here ...”
“Three wishes? Did | say three wishes? ...
Shoot! I'll grant you four wishes.”

280
 Febraary 1983

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0 00 ee uaa C quM MEME A

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281
 Febraary 1983

i tte eS MG ARR 773793939393939

‫اس‬ ‫ و‬eR UAE dal COINS ALIENARE

UO NSNd SEU.‫‏‬
2/16/83

—
€

Cte

ee ee

“What? ... They turned it into

‫بسدكاتت‬

a WASTEBASKET?”
MM
—
Fi

Sixty-five million years ago, when cows

ruled the Earth

1
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ii SB Na ‫مقلب‬‎ ‫تس‬ dins

“Well, just look at you, Jimmy! ... Soaking wet,

hair mussed up, shoes untied ... and take
that horrible thing out of your mouth!" ——
‫مع‬

“What did I say, Boris? ... These new

uniforms are a crock!”

282
 February 1983

i...
| 2/21/83

“And | like honesty in a relationship—l'm

not into playing games."

Andrew is hesitant, remembering his fiasco

with the car of straw.

“It worked! It worked!”

“Im leaving gy you, Charles ... and I’m takin g

the grubs with me."

283
 March 1983

“Gesundheit.”

“Not too close, Higgins. ... This one’s

got a knife.”
T Ua a

“Well, why don’t you come up here and

make me turn it down ... or do you
just talk big, fella?”

284
 March 1983

“My word! I'd hate to be caught outside

on a day like this!”

€—— Mn
3/5/83

*Lunch is ready, Lawrence, and ... what?

You're still a fly?”

Night of the Robin

285
 March 1983

£ =e .2
v
E 6 c
DE 2 > 7n 8 6v
6
‎‫چا‬

‫د‬ ‫و‬ ‫ ارد‬ARRAS

5a 9 X:
acus‫ه‬5‎‫هن‬‎ ‘ecEOn2
=o

A O
“Blast a
[tv] cu 6 ‫با‬
E => Q0 ^ Oo

“Okay! Now don't move, Andy! ... Here

comes Mom 1?

286
 March 1983

| | ||

MR.
ELLL
ue
1
C
UAM
Io
RRA

Another great moment in evolution

Life in the petri dish

287
 March 3

i i A
3/17/83

enre teen a en ne ree

sol
` 1
eS A

N
/j iy,

“How cute, Earl. ... The kids have built a

little fort in the backyard.”

The Cyclops family at breakfast

ee ee A seated aR
3/22/83

isin zmane seksa si

3/28/83 —

^ And a5 yoy travel life's N

i highway, eres forget lo stop)
\ “and eat the loses.

“I've got it again, Larry ... an eerie feeling like

there’s something on top ofthe bed.”

Cow philosophy

288
 March 1983

Do RI : —————

*|t's true, Barbara. ... You're the first woman

l've ever brought here."

—————V ‎‫شونلسوهوُووضووېو‬
3/31/83

000000000000000
3/30/83

|UNDERGROUND
| TEST AREA
| NUCLEAR

| : i ae,—Ej
3 E ee ‫نل‬‎

Sanu EE Aa

“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

289
 March 1983

!
LU

"Just pull it off and apologize, Cromwell ...

or we'll go out in the hall and establish
this pecking order once and for all!”
“You again!”

007 ‎‫[ا‬1 CGN AN A ORAAAERNEDGE — ——

3/29/83

“Trim the bowl, you idiots! Trim the bowl!”

290
 April 1983

Mc ‎‫ داو‬2]2‫ة‬1]>2>2‫]ة‬1‫ية‬5‫>ضدُِججججّجججي_ي>ي‬994>>7‫ىى‬9‫ب‬9‫ىى‬44‫بلل"لهةفو‬ "١1٠ le ‎‫الت‬ ‫تت‬ ALLAH

4/2/83

I waterhole for a hundred miles, and

| dabsmack in the middle is a giant squid.”

“Now listen up! You both know the rules,

you've got equal portions, and we're going
to settle this thing once and for all. ...
On your mark ... get set ..."

“Kids! Kids! ... The slugs are back!”

“Well, look who’s here ... finesse on wings!”

291
 April 1983

sc eee ‫ا‬‎ ‫فو‬ dd

"You've got to watch out for them gopher

holes, Roger."

d ‫‏‬‫مد‬a
‫مسي م‬
4/8/83

disti
i

“This is it, Webster. ... We're onto the

secret of migration."

292
 April 1983

Drs
aden‎‫محم‬

“Just a minute, young man! ... What are you

taking from thejungle?”

. .. Stuart blew his air sac

|?
“Whoa!

OO ———— ———M— asa Rca —— A ON pine €

“4/13/83

“Relax, Jerry! ... lm sure he didn't know you

were an elephant when he told that
last joke!"

293
 April 1983

4/9/83
do SS Rg i a a Se MO

WIL. "
Bw
NS

Custer’s first stand

SNSOS
KS
: 4 ‎‫سک‬
1 4 ‫همد‬‎ S RC -١

During the night, and as yet unbeknownst to

Zelda, Phil had installed a volume knob.

294
 April 1983

4/19/83

Bm | |

*Calm down, Edna. ... Yes, it's some giant,

hideous insect ... but it could be some giant,
hideous insect in need of help."

essen eee P
4/14/83

4/21/83

“| just can’t go in there, Bart! ... Some feller

in there and | are wearin’ the same
kind of hat!”
Suddenly, amidst all the confusion, Fifi
seized the controls and saved the day.

295
 April 1983

CENTER FOR THE STUDY OF SECULAR HUMANISM

April 25, 1985

Sentinel Star
P.0. Box 1100
Orlando, Fla 2
THE FAR SIDE
Att: Gary Larson

qe Dear Mr. Larson:

^,

I am somewhat puzzled by your

LA
Lu, cartoon appearing in the
24.
7
N Sentinel Star on Sunday, April 24th.
The implication seems to be
that our archaeological friend
are more interested in their s
discovery than the fact that
poor human has been stepped a
on?
However, your cartoon does
a disservice to the scient
community by promoting pseud ific
o/science and a blatant disreg
for historical accuracy. ard

The combination of Brachiosau

rus and Homo Habilus in the
Kory Same time period is ludicrous since
Brachiosaurus existed
,
ut bees woe EDL LLL /
60,000;000 years before Homo Habilus
or any form even remotely
Ye -
Ld 0
X
‫قل‬‎
‫سی‬‎ |
resembling the human form came on the
scene.
Surely, this is exactly what
us to
the "Creationist" would like
‎‫تی‬ believe; that evolution was
a process a one-shot deal instead of
that took place over billions of years,
I would like to believe that
truth and historical accura
you are very concerned for
cy in disseminating specific
information to the public
at large.
Your response to Ry concern is eagerly awaited.

Sincerely yours,
ce: Jeff Kunerth Henry W. Daigneault
Carl Sagan DIRECTOR

p E find, Williams! The fossilized

footprint of a brachiosaurus! ... And
a Homo habilis thrown in to boot!

GS ‫ورو‬

“Don’t shush me—and | don't care if she /s

writing in her little notebook; just tell
Set me where you were last night!
You must
be the one
they call
‘The Kid.”

296
 “It’s Henderson again, sir. ... He always
faints at the sight of yolk."

` 4/29/83.

“By the way, we're p laying cards with the Millers

tonight, and Edna says if you promise not to
use your X-ray vision, Warren promises not
to bring his Kryptonite."

297
 BIOLOGICAL
RESEARCH
203

“Trapped like rodentia!”

“Wouldn’t you know it! ... And always just

before a big date!”

“Hey! C'mon! Hold it! Hold it! ...

|?
Or someone’s gonna get hurt

298
May 1983

“Chief say, ‘Oh yeah? ... Your horse ugly.”

299
 May 1983

*The name is Bill ... Buffalo Bill.?

“Go back sleep, Thag. ... You only dream

we live just so long then die."

“And, if you squint your eyes just right,

you can see the zork in the Earth."

300
 May 1983

As
5/13/83

m————— ١١١ ME
:
E

——

“ones
dissidia jr i i

“Hey! You! ... No cutting in!”

po 16 050000 RS

*Okay, okay, little Ahab. ... Which one

is it going to be?"

0 0 SASS
5/24/83 |
————————— nnns |
5/25/83 |

—sreA
—

—"—Mná
—

visse
M
DAMM
‫د‬‎dpud
EIE
DUM

i:

*Well, shoot ... | can never tell whether these NORSKE EERE

things are done or not."

301
 [
:|
0
[:

Y
1
i
:

Í
0
E
:

dii d ‫ا‬ d Rn jolies ‫وو‬

“And the murderer is ... THE BUTLER! Yes, the butler—

who, lm convinced, first gored the Colonel to death
before trampling him to smithereens.”

7707075 ‫ا‬
5/18/83

[BERE SER OEESN SES UN ce ia AKERS ARA 462690793977 ‫لل‬‎

5/17/83

*| wouldn't do that, mister. ... Old Zeek’s

liable to fire that sucker up.”
0

302
 5/20/83

“Well, good heavens! | can't believe you

men. ... ve got some rope!”

aisa" ‫‏‬eH‫سسق‬ ‫سه‬ ‫سس‬

5/26/83

‫‏‬EUR ‫ا‬ ‫ل‬

303
 May 1983

— Á—M—

"Mmmmmnmn. ... Nope ... nope. ... | don't like

that at all. ... Too many legs."

*Firsc!?

et
lap Map flap ho
——<—— ‫لم‬
‫ے‬ fup
‫ س‬6
:

“Spiders, scorpions, and insecticides,

oh my! ... Spiders, scorpions, and
insecticides, oh my! ..."

304
 Jane 1983

“What did | say, Alex? ... Every time we invite

the Zombies over, we all end up just sitting
around staring at each other."

*Oh, is that so? ... Well, if there's anything I

hate worse than a big, stupid carrot,
it’s a big, stupid banana!”

ii
E
r
E

Stupid birds

“Well, don’t look at me, idiot! ... | said

we should’ve flown!”

305
 Jane 1983

uL 7‫ح*©©ححبفبي‬4<‫ا‬:٠”9”‎
© :‫©عح‬44‎4‫©ه‬##©©>»< © LL M EHE 1 LZ A LA

6/4/83

“Well, there it goes again. ... Every night

when we bed down, that confounded
harmonica starts 7

306
 June 1983

p A 5 3:

pm
iar

:
‫ا‬us ‫ا‬ she ieee) ‫سسك‬‎

“Let’s see. ... No orange ... no root beer ... no

fudgesickles. ... Well, for crying out loud! ...
Am | out of everything?"

PVP ne
H
6/8/83

pense D
6/1/83

i 00000
5000
9950‫ا‬ i
| |

i
E
nee
eat
See
sea
:
i
L|
1
E:
1i
i
— ٢7 ‫نا‬‎ 4
۰۴-٢-٢ ٢ ‫ز‬‎ - -ٌ-‫ف‬1٢ ٢۴٢ ‫ولا‬‎

“Well, hey . these things just snap right off.”

‫تت‬
‫ا‬
‫صصب‬

“Take me to your stove? ... You idiot!

Give me that book!”

307
 Jane 1983

*Aha ! My suspi IC ions confirmed 1?

Now please
“| sa id | wasn’t interested.
remove your foot from the cave."

308
Jane 1983

e ‎‫ تت‬DEERE 2 ein eR NUN UE ‫رر‬‎ ‫ل‬٢‎5st oe oan eat ^

6/23/83. |

onset

*Oh, that's Be
block. ... Bernie has lost his mind.”

‫ا‬ ae etme NI Und GNE ENUMEN MN NM‫‏‬ ‫م‬ MEE Eg‫‏‬

6/25/83

headed straight for Mr. Sun!”

309
 Jane 1983

| | Z will tact primitive in class. NE

| i T will not
act primitive n class. E
I will nsfact primitive in class. NE
I will norach ٢ y |

MON vw 67%-

Me

Primitive man's ability to reason

"What? ... Again?"

310
 Jane 1983

| | luv ELEPHONE

“Hang him, you idiots! Hang him! ...

‘String him up’ is a figure of speech!”

Ant games

are —

$
05
S3 OE
2tes
to

‫کک‬‎
T
Yee
١ T / ‫ېب‬‎ ‫کچ‬ 17 -—— p 10

“Auntie Em, Auntie Em! ... There’s no place

like home! ... There’s no place like home!”

311
 July 1983

ABROAD
ANUAL RUNNING 0 0

030300

"Sally, this is Larry and his brother, Eddie. ...

Larry used to be an only child until the
gardener hacked him in half.”
SSE AO ‫ا‬‎ ‫ع‬ RRA

“Now now, Billy. ... How could you have seen

a monster if you can’t even describe him?”

Obscene duck call

“Wait a minute! Isn't anyone here a

real 7

312
 Jaly 3

1 ‎‫ وتوت و تت‬٨٨٨
7/9/83

“Oo! Watch out! ... The walls are pointy!”

“Darlene is going with some new guy. ...

And he's got a shell."

sa AN SE Si MUNERE
7/7/83

“Wait a minute here, Mr. Crumbley. ...

Maybe it isn't kidney stones after al ||

“Okay ... which ofyou is the one they call

‘Old-One-Eyed-Dog-Face’?”

313
 1017 3

“So, Professor Jenkins! ... My old nemesis! ...

We meet again, but this time the advantage is
mine! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

suddenly one day he turns out to be

a chicken killer!”

AS BSR SH IIA ala

7/14/83

join siiis

“Whoa! ... Wrong room."

314
 July 3

poesia MM de

‫م‬ 7 See

“This dangerous viper, known for its peculiar habit of

tenaciously hanging from one’s nose, is vividly colored.’...
Oo! Murray! Look! ... Here’s a picture ofit!”

315
 July 1983

ae
7/1/83

Ernie gets a nose cramp.

"Keep your
wounded lion could be anywhere
in this tall grass."
Nie HU DU UL HUND — ‫ ووو‬bise » NUM ‫ا‬‎ RURAL Gd

— 7/88

"Sorry, mister, but this is what we do to |

cattle rustlers in these parts." Woo

“You idiot! ... Now this time wait for me to

finish the first ‘row row row your boat’
before you come in!”

316
 July 3

o
mue
Du
NS S NONIS
iS ENS

S. 0

“Harold, you fool! ... The arrow goes the

other way! ... WE'RE DOOMED!”

Primitive Man leaves the trees.

317
 Jaly 1983

—————M CaS <A BD ‫ب‬‎

RE i PAP E

*Yes 2 yes, already, Warren There IS

f
ilm
in t he camera p
ee

tk ee i 7> aa RRR RU RRR ROR 0

9684“

«|
ju dge a man by the shoes he wears, Jerry.”

318
 August 1983

REESE
8/3/83

"un"
dr
Ad

“HALT! ... Okay! Johnson! Higgins! ... You

both just swallow what you’ve got and knock
off these water fights once and for all!”
“Now this next slide, gentlemen, demonstrates
the awesome power of our twenty megaton ...
for crying out loud! Not again!”
cacti eb

Never park your horse in a bad part of town.

319
 August 1983

——— 8 s Ó ‫پی‬‎EAL ETL

AT IOI 1 c

8/4/83 |

| | I ||

Dade
cco
E
iÉ
E

ARRESES ‫‏‬RR ‫نن‬ ‫دور‬ ‫سب‬

“Fool! ... Give me those controls! ... You're

just dang lucky both barn doors were open! »

8 7 *
enm n
89 ‫س‬‎ ‫ا‬ ‫او‬ ME
ais sin T

August 8, 1983

Gary Larson
Chronicle Features
c/o Washington Post
1150 15th St. Nw
Washington, DC 20071

Dear Mr. Larson:

Please help us settle this minor family dispute. My son maintains

that Betsy's unwitting discovery was finding
steaks in the freezer,
My husband and I believe that Betsy found
Farmer Browns supply of
frozen bull semen,

Which of the above is the right answer - or, are they both wrong?
Did you have Something more delightful in mind? What? We can
hardly bear to wait for your answer.
S———

Thank you for making our mornings a real pleasure. Your cartoons
''are weird, but deliscious.
iE

:
E
|
i|
Sincerely,
i
i[| Janet A. Dinerman

sid

While Farmer Brown was away, the cows got

into the kitchen and were having the time of
their lives—until Betsy's unwitting discovery.

320
 August 1983

a sanerhet titi inerti titetto i

8/10/83 i
E

|
ij
f

| | |
RUNCORN

i
P

lI
|

Ia

Things that live in a drop of water, and some

of their furniture.
ett
‫روول‬
‎‫ود‬
‫وو‬jp
‫ورو‬

Aasiassa
‫‏‬٩ 3‫د‬ ‫ا‬

“And you call yourself an Indian!”

0:‫د‬: ERA‫‏‬

“Hey! Look at Red Bear! ... Waaaaaait ...

that not real!”

321
 August 1983

“What? ... Another request

for ‘Old McDonald’?”

“Blast! Caught in another tide pool! ...

And here comes some damn beachcomber!"

‫ ا‬000 ‫تت‬
SERO ‫‏‬a
“ e ‫ م‬EE ‫‏‬Ut ‫و‬ ‫و‬
“8/13/83

LABORATORY

AAW)
/

On Oct. 23, 1927, three days after its

invention, the first rubber band is tested.

“Wait! Spare me! ... ve got a wife, a home,

and over a thousand eggs laid in the jelly!”

322
 August 1983

p n
8718/83 |

*Oh SERENAMom! vee already OEE

him and now the ther won’t take
him back.”

The Portrait of Dorian Gray and his dog

eee ena |
i 8/20/83

uu sc ‫س‬‎
8/19/83 |

“Hey! PU s going on hee We re

losing the visual!”

“Okay, now it’s my turn. . mes wantt the

cracker ... Bob want dus cracker ...

323
 August 1983

La Í 1
BE UTS

“Wow! Well, what happened next, Gramps—

after you found the cheese sitting on the
little block of wood?”

“Good heavens, Charles! You're at it again! ..

And with my fresh sponge cake, | see!”

‘The Hooked Hand’! ... PII never get

to sleep tonight!”

324
 August 1983

LL LM LLM LLL LALA AOA OTANI SERRE |

8/29/83

eos ee Ree eee Sre en enn eee nee TN

8/30/83

88 Rn si ie ae ‫ييي‬‎ ‫ا ييي ي‬
8/31/83
nai ita

UUI, = |
KOAN
ESS z P

|
E
i

“Well, here comes Mr. Hunter and Gatherer

with another useless treasure."

325
 ‫اك‬ ‫جه‬ QE‫‏‬
9/2/83

i
i
E

0
$
]
i
L|

“Pye heard all kinds of sounds from these

things, but ‘yabba dabba doo’ was a
new one to me.”

eae ARR n EDAMRRR ‫هوو‬‎ ‫وو‬ casa

9/6/83

sitis

“| see your little, petrified skull ... labeled

and resting on a shelf somewhere."

“Well, we're lost ... and it's probably just

a matter of time before someone
decides to shoot us."

326
 $eptember 1983

d
9/7/83

"TCU

“Boy, there's sure a lot of sharks around here,

aren't there? ... Circling and circling. ...
THERE GOES ANOTHER ONE! ...
Killers of the sea ... yes siree ...”
Confucius at the office

SOARES ‎‫ اا‬--‫ظ‬ MALE SAAA DASSA SISI

9/9/83

“There! Quick, Larry! Look! ... Was |

kidding? ... That sucker’s longer
than the boat!”
99
“Okay, 2
here we go again... one... two...

327
 September 1983

‫دن‬ ‫هف‬ ‫ووو‬ ‫‏‬INIMUN ‫اوو‬ ‫وف اف‬ ‫فو‬ ‫داوف ووو‬ MA DUUI ‫‏‬MM ‫ ادو ووو‬DM M EM EUNAD ‫‏‬VM ‫د‬ ‫‏‬ANM ‫دود ادو دوو وف‬ ‫دود‬ NN‫‏‬

MM MEME
0 ١ l ldfish!?‫‏‬
Oo! Goldfish, everyone: Goldfish!‫‏‬

m
7772‫ج‬

328
 $eptember 1983

9/15/83
i

‫کے‬ ‫س س ےرو‬ e
e Ms

7 » Y

WF
| 2

AON
ene

| boozing it up at the punchbowl all night—

“Andrew! Fix Edgar’s head! . .. It’s not facing looking around ...”
the camera!”

|e 2 22 2 nian ia Nae
9/10/83

| i
| L
E

E 0
: i
Í
| oom nnum
‫د‬‎ ‫فى دد‬ RR RRS

“PII just take this, thank you! ... And knock off
that music!"

229
 $eptember 1983

ee Soi ets SGN eet A UMS oe

9/24/83

“Dang! This can’t be right. ... | can hear the

stage, but | can’t see a blamed thing!”

3: Ee S
ee
A
MR
A
‫هد‬‎‫همد‬ ‫ويمهک‬
Op E
^». 2

The frogs at home

330
 September 1983

‫دمت‬

9/27/83

ien sis in inii

“Say ... you're not Bob! ... You look like him,
but you're certainly not him!"

“Yes, with the amazing new ‘knife,’ you only

have to wear the skin of those dead animals."

Darrell suspected someone had once again

slipped him a trick spoon with the
concave side reversed.

331
 September 1983

‫متكا‬

9/2/83 li
EAE

i
E
E
E.

i
H
i

With Roger out of the way, it was Sidney's

big chance.

"So, Foster! That's how you want it, huh? ...

Then take THIS!”

LU MM M DE a DUROS DAMNA RUNI

DU
9/30/83

Beware the elephant in tall grass.

٢٢٢٢

*My reflection? Look at yours, Randy. ...

You look like some big, fat swamp thing."

332
 October 1983

—M— 77 ————

“You call that mowin’ the lawn? ... Bad dog! ... |
No biscuit! ... Bad dog!" |

Ped
‫ په‬Mem‫پک‬
SE

gibst PH
uta DM vetitis ‫دس‬‎ ‫ممم‬
10/1/83 |

“My turn? ... Well, Pm originally from the

shores of the upper Nile and ... saaaaaaay .
did anyone ever tell you your pupils are round?"
Charles wanders into a herd of dirt buffaloes.

333
 October 1983

Y7

OT
RE

"E20

UUU SW NEA

“| presume you're Dr. Livingstone. ... | mean ...

presumably, you're Dr. Livingstone. ...
No wait. ... Dang! I’ve screwed it up!”

Common medieval nightmare

“Look out, Larry! ... That retriever has

finally found you 1?

334
 October 3

——À

SU INNAM

“AAT ATNT
NmW ٧

*Saaaaay. ... | think | smell perfume! ...

You haven't been over at the
Leopard Woman's, have you?"
Clayton frequently watched the monsters, until
the night he knocked over the garbage can
and was subsequently eaten.

10/14/83

*So now tell the court, if you will, Mrs. Potato

Head, exactly what transpired on the night your
husband chased you with the Veg-o-matic."

335
 October 1983

- “ATG ae aN eine

Mm mmm ‫سسموسيس‬٣‫سسسمسس‬‎

“Well, Captain Grunfield, it says here you

were expelled from the belly ofa large squid
after ... ha... after your boat ... ha ha ...
after ... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ...”
٢ 10/18/83 :‫يب‬‎

Se2eS
ra

‫مهس‬
‎‫توررصس‬

“Well, PII be darned. ... | guess he does have

MAL
a license to do that."

*Dang! ... Who ate the middle out of the

daddy longlegs?”

336
 October 1983

———Á— A

— —

“Kemosabe! ... The music's starting!

The music’s starting!”

ea EONAR

“So then, when the bank doors open, we ...

Louie! You jerk! ... Your hat brim is up!”

Early physics

337
 |
SL
— €
10/27/83
; Ginger! Li rbage 14 ve had it?
; | y as we gaSa
- | 2 y Ou
d Ginger Els
"4nderstanrb age, or e:
of the ga

“FLETCHER, YOU FOOL! ...

THE GATE! THE GATE!"

ST ee — CII PALA LALLA #4

4# ‫حللألللللل‬-‫أها‬:##‫؟َّّظظ‬+©#>#>‫*إ“ِإ‬‎
10/24/83

econ

“Here he comes, Earl. ... Remember, be gentle but

firm ... we are absolutely, positively, NOT
driving him south this winter.”

338
 October 1983

€——————————— C 2-2232 9439342 a |

10/31/83

KKNK KMMLGOOK ‫و‬‎ TICS

10/28/83

Áe

Quack quack
quack Quack Quack
quack quack
quack quack:
quack quack
quack quack
quack ۰
——————

—
oo

NEEE EN ‫ند‬‎ 0 40

||

7
Au
í————

AMID
IRI
LSA
SOLA
AAAI
———

nn LLL LL LL WLLL CC SKN ILL GTB LLL LLL TTT

€————— ——

Frances loved her little pets and dressed them

differently every day.

239
 November 1983

Ncc cU GEM

11/2/83

x usn int

And no one ever heard from the

Anderson brothers again.

Mina “ly, yee”

"Uu ‫ي‬٨‎
Ws

ii
1]
«So
then Sheila says to Betty that Arnold
told her what Harry was up to, but Betty
told me she already heard it from
“Now, Grog! Throw! ... Throoooooow! ... Blanche, don’t you know ...”
Throw throw throw throw throw throw! ...?

340
 November 1983

L^ i

“SHOE’S UNTIED!”

“C’mon, c’mon, buddy! The heart! Hand over

the heart! ... And you with the brains! ...
Let’s have ’em!”

341
ls
1/11/83

te ee een ener a ne 030000000

1/12/83 i
:

“Look out, everyone! ... We’re being attacked

by a giant sq ... well, no ... Pd say
medium squid!”

——Á—————————————————————
11/8/83

‫‏‬RA ‫اا‬ ‫وعدا‬

11/9/83

“Hey! You’ll get a kick out ofthis, Bill and

Ruth! ... Watch what Lola here does
with her new squeeze doll 1?

“Well, Bobby, it's not like you haven't been

warned. ... No roughhousing under
the hornets’ nest!”

342
 November 1983

11/14/83
EE

Sa
FEI REO
ET3
Sa

qose:

“Somebody better run fetch the sher e

Museums of the future

‫ رر و‬d
psN Wacoisa}

“Curses How long does it take Igor to

go out and bring back a simple
little brain, anyway?”

“If we pull th is off, we'll eat |ike k ings.

2

343
 November 1983

11/19/83

“Okay, everyone, dig in ... and you kids

watch for stingers.”

At the head of the train, Russell was first to

notice the slide was out.

MM.
c du M EM 1 he
11/21/83 1
;E
|

————

SRO

SO
ns

Re Cee bo dbi MU pao

“Yes, they're all fools, gentlemen ... but the

question remains, ‘What kind of fools are they?”

344
 11/24/83

It's a
mammoth.

Early microscope

sie aoa

‫تي‬
1/28/83

“So, there we were! ... Locked into this life and

death tug-o’-war! ... Your grandma had one
end of me, the bird had the other, but
everyone went away satisfied." *My word! ... That one came just too close
for comfort, if you ask me."

345
 November 1983

— P— cme

‫يي‬

Grog hesitated, not wanting to face

his parents.

Tarzan of the Jungle, Nanook of the North,

and Warren of the Wasteland

— a

‫ دنه‬aaan‫‏‬

THRE
UTI TA
7

PONEn

“Blast! This cinches it! ... If we ever find it

again, I’m gonna bolt the sucker on!”

“Okay, this time Rex and Zeke will be the

wolves, Fifi and Muffin will be the coyotes,
and ... Listen! ... Here comes the deer!”

346
 December 1983

7 ‫‏‬8m ‫ې‬ ‫سم‬ ‫سب‬ ‫سب‬ ‫ۍس‬ ‫و‬

|

— — | ‫و‬‎

Es
| “INFORMATION

“I’ve had it, Doc! I’ve come all the way from
Alabama with this danged thing on my knee!"

: 7 Tag
NP 4

Little Beaver? Ked Eagle 2:

Where is Everyone? Okay...
Joke's over!

1
N
I
i 1 Mm
N à MUL deh

Psycho III

Last of the Mohicans

347
 December 1983

[ What am 1 ٥
doing here ? I can't
play This thing! I'm a :
‎‫ه‬7
57 for crying-out--pud!
‫پک‬

Games you can play with your cat.

The elephant's nightmare

“Hey! You! ... Yeah, that’s right!

I’m talkin’ to YOU!”

“| don’t think Ull be able to tell the kids

about this one.”

348
 December 1983

MBDA Cae ae a tee A AN i ‫اا‬‎ ‫ اا‬ARR RANSON RNS ae

12/10/83

RANKER

‫‏‬ei ‫تم ااه‬ EERE D EE E [ E E [|:E.Mud

‫ار‬
MONUI
a‫‏‬

HERREN DIULAU ‫ور‬‎ ‫دلو‬ ————— Án

12/12/83 E

Jimmy, yo
can have that new
can â n:nswer
if youquestio just
What's the
ee EM
12/14/83
ge rainfall in the £
Basin? A

—————————OORÁOÉÁÉ--—ÁÁ——DÜ

——A———————————
 December 1983

‫ار‬

“The first two gave me trouble, but not

that little bear. ... | bagged him
juuuuuuuuust right.”

“Hold it right there, young man! ... Are you

feeding the squid under the table again?"

12/17/83

“Oh my gosh, Andrew! Don’t eat those! ...

Those are poison arrows!”

350
December 1983

—; — FNUNUSIUNRIAMPHIAMPUN PHP MUNDI

mets

AN
hin ds

Murray is caught desecrating the secret

appliance burial grounds.

351
 December 1983

12/27/83

nM dividant
12/23/83

(T8: 4

LE

“Oh no 2 Elliott! Why ? . Why ?

siad
2/26/83
‫ب‬
‫بس‬
uere
eene‫‏‬
‫وج‬

«H
i... Hi, Miss Collins.’

“Ernie’s a chicken, Ernie’s a ch icken »

352
 December 1983

MAMMAL AAAS
12/29/83

se ae ess ‫او‬‎
/83

—————

ab ‎‫ال‬ ‫لال‬ ttos snes

“A one more time! ... HEY! I’ve been workin’

on the railroad, all the live-long day,
HEY! I’ve been ...”

Elephant skyways

12/28/ 83

12/ 31/83

disi $ dione EOIER RESIN ‫ممم‬‎

“Wonderful! Just wonderful! ... So much for

instilling them with a sense of awe."

*Mom! Edgar's making that clicking

sound again!"

353