Three Ladies of Orpington

THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON
Written by
Daniel Guyton
Story Idea by
L. Marcus Williams
Based on the Stage Play

"Three Ladies of Orpington"
by Daniel Guyton
210 Heritage Farm Ln,

Fayetteville, GA 30215
404-406-9602
Dguyton21@gmail.com
Www.danguyton.net
EXT. CITY STREET. 1882. DAY.
MR. FENNIMORE the undertaker is a grizzled, terrifying man.

As lightning streaks across the sky, it reflects upon his
face, as he leads a horse-drawn hearse through the tiny
streets of Orpington, a small suburb of London. It is a
rainy, thundery day, which does not help anyone’s mood.
Several Orpington chickens run by to escape the rain. Only
three people follow the funeral procession, but several watch
from nearby homes and businesses, out of morbid curiosity.
Immediately behind the hearse is MAUDE, an elderly woman with
a cane. She follows with an angry scowl and a determined
gait. It is her husband in the casket. Following behind her
is HENRIETTA, her daughter. Henrietta seems mostly concerned
about the people watching them. She waves nervously to
several in the crowd. Close behind Henrietta is ELENORE, her
teenage daughter, weeping openly about her grandfather. All
three wear clothing appropriate for mourning in the Victorian
Era.
After proceeding for several yards, the horse takes a massive

shit. It is so large that the horse whinnies as it emerges,
and the turd splashes into a giant mud puddle beneath. Maude
steps into and through the shit without even seeming to
notice. Henrietta sees this, and carefully guides Elenore
away from the mess.
HENRIETTA
Oh dear.
CUT TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. DAY. SIX WEEKS LATER.
The three ladies from earlier are now seated in their home.
Sun shines through the window. MAUDE wears the same outfit as
earlier, which still has mud and horseshit on the bottom.
HENRIETTA now wears a pristine white dress with black
spotting, and ELENORE is dressed in a lovely white frock with
yellow trim. Without the veil covering her face, it is now
evident that Elenore has an extreme form of dermatitis on her
face, neck and hands. The two younger ladies sip tea. Maude
stares solemnly at the ground. Elenore stares nervously at
her cup. Henrietta stares pleasantly at both of them.
HENRIETTA
Mumsy, are you sure you wouldn't
like some tea?
Maude does not acknowledge her.

2.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
You must eat something, you know.
(To Elenore) Elenore?
She stares at Elenore, expectantly. Elenore stares at her,

blankly. After a painfully long silence, Henrietta coughs
genteelly and looks away.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
You mustn’t slouch, dear.
Elenore looks down at her tea.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mumsy, I wish you would have some
tea. Father’s been dead for six
weeks now and you mustn't mope
about.
ELENORE
(Whispering)
Mother.
HENRIETTA
Well, she mustn't! When your father
died, I certainly didn't mope about
the house for six weeks. There was
work to be done! Between the
gardening, the housekeeping, and
managing papa's affairs. There was
no time at all to be giving in to
such humours. (To Maude) It's all
well and good for you, isn't it,
mother? To sit around idly by while
the rest of us go and do your
handiwork?
Maude does not reply. Henrietta stands and crosses to the

mantel. She wipes dust off it with her gloved finger.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
My goodness. This place is a pig
sty. Is that how you’d like to
live, mama? In a pig sty? Well,
I’ll be more than happy to oblige
you, if you wish. Elenore, go be a
dear and fetch me two sows from
outside. Perhaps the fat one from
the neighbor’s yard? Perhaps they
can keep mama company.
Maude looks at Henrietta for the first time in ages. It is a

look of disgust.
3.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Oh good. We have some recognition.
She touches Maude’s shoulder, and talks very loudly.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Welcome back to the sitting room,
mama. Would you like a spot of tea?
MAUDE
(Brushing her off)
Blechh.
HENRIETTA
Hmm... Perhaps I’ve used too much
water. (Snapping quickly) Elenore?
Come. We shall leave mama to her
humours.
Henrietta begins to exit, then realizes she is alone.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Elenore?
ELENORE
(Meekly)
I’d like to stay with grandmama
please.
Maude and Elenore share a glance.
HENRIETTA
(Hurt)
I see. In her pig sty. Well then,
perhaps we’ll all just sit around
and sip from grandma’s trough.
Henrietta picks up her tea and slurps it.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Hmm, yes. It’s not quite as good as
the housemaids used to make it, I
suppose.
She sits.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
I am sorry, mama. I’ve said some
terrible things just now. And I...
Well, it’s just that I have been
trying so hard to keep things going
in this household. After Edgar’s
death, and now... papa’s... We’re
all alone here, aren’t we?
(MORE)
4.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Three women. And poor Elenore isn’t
married. Lord knows with her
complexion, she may never have that
privilege.
ELENORE
(Whispering)
Mama!
HENRIETTA
Well, it’s true! You can’t help it,
dear.
She pats her daughter’s knee.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
And we all love you very much. But
the good Lord hath blessed you with
the gravest assurance of chastity
this town has ever seen. So where
does that leave us? A mother who
refuses to clean an inch. A
daughter incapable of marriage. And
I, poor I, like a ship caught at
port beneath a raging tempest -
pulling hard against the tethered
riggings, thrashing violently
against the sturdy moor, yearning
desperately to sail out into the
open ocean, yet halted brusquely by
the sturdy clove knot of some
bastard yeoman who strung us to the
pier! Yield too far in one
direction, and I’ll split apart!
List too far into the other, and
there’s no telling what
uncertainties might await! There’s
so much darkness in the world
today. So many vast and
unimaginable abstractions! How on
earth can we go on, if not
together? How can we survive, dear
mother, if not by strapping
ourselves in unison to the mast?!?
She takes both of their hands.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
This tempest threatens to engulf
us, Elenore. If we do not engage
together, then we’re not likely to
survive! Come, if you do not wish
to see us go asunder, then you must
join with me, my loves!
(MORE)
5.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
My daughter and my mother! And we
must pull with all our might
against these riggings!
Maude and Elenore stare at her, amazed.
ELENORE
How do you know so much of sailing,
mother? You speak as if you’ve gone
a hundred times.
HENRIETTA
(Depressed)
Oh... I used to read your father’s
novels. While he lived. I read one
once of a giant whale, and a sea
captain who chased after him unto
the farthest reaches of the ocean.
It was quite romantic, in a way.
And I remember one by Mr. Verne, an-
another American, I believe. This
one told of a giant squid with many
arms who attacked their steel
submersible. I must say, the oceans
are filled with giant things,
aren’t they? It’s a wonder so many
ships can make it home at all, with
those conditions. Perhaps staying
at the port is healthier, now that
I consider it... Well then, come
now, we’re all done with the
afternoon tea. Let us withdraw
ourselves to the kitchen to begin
our supper preparations. Mama, will
you be staying inert for the rest
of the evening? (Beat) Good then.
Carry on.
She starts towards the door.
ELENORE
Mama?
HENRIETTA
Hmm? Yes, dear?
ELENORE
(Nervously)
I’m... not certain how to prepare
the supper. Mrs. Edmund always did
that for us.
6.
HENRIETTA
I know, dear. But Papa died without
telling us where he hid the money.
And mama’s not helping in that
regard, so I... couldn’t possibly
ask Mrs. Edmund to work for free,
now could I? The poor dear stayed
an extra two weeks for us as it
was. I did what I had to do, my
darling. Mrs. Edmund understood.
And so should you. Now please. I
will require your assistance in the
kitchen.
Reluctantly, Elenore stands and follows her towards the

kitchen.
MAUDE
(Faintly)
Marvin...
They turn to look at her.
HENRIETTA
Hmm? Yes mother?
No reply.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Well... all right. Will you be fine
by yourself for a few moments?
They turn to exit.
MAUDE
Marvin...
They turn around again.
HENRIETTA
Are you starving, mother? I offered
you some tea.
MAUDE
(Bitterly)
Marvin!
HENRIETTA
(Confused)
Marbles?
ELENORE
No, I believe she’s saying Marvin,
mother.
7.
HENRIETTA
Marvin? But what on earth is
Marvin?
ELENORE
No, I think it’s a name.
HENRIETTA
A name? I’ve never heard of such a
name.
MAUDE
Marvin.
HENRIETTA
Yes, I hear you mother. But who or
what is Marvin?
MAUDE
Marvin.
HENRIETTA
I see, but... (To Elenore) Is she
saying marmalade, perhaps? I think
she’s hungry.
ELENORE
No, it’s Marvin, mother. She’s
clearly saying...
MAUDE
Marvin.
ELENORE
Yes.
MAUDE
Marvin... Marvin... Marvin...
ELENORE
(To Henrietta)
See?
HENRIETTA
But who on earth is Marvin? Papa’s
name was Benedict, mother. Not Marv-
MAUDE
Marvin!
HENRIETTA
(Taken aback)
Well, there’s no need to shout
about it.
8.
MAUDE
(Shouting louder)
Marvinnn!!!
Elenore tries to soothe her, but Maude grows increasingly

agitated and louder until she’s nearly hysterical.
ELENORE
Grandmama, please...
MAUDE
MARVIN! MARVIN! MARVIN!
HENRIETTA
I don’t understand why you’re
behaving this way, mother.
MAUDE
(Starting to sob)
MARVIN!! MARVIN!!
HENRIETTA
My word, mumsy, what has gotten
into you?
ELENORE
Grandmama, please... It’s ok...
MAUDE
(Shrieking between tears)
MARVIN!!! MARVIN!!! MARVIN!!!
She falls to the ground sobbing and wailing his name. Elenore
backs away from her, concerned.
HENRIETTA
I swear, she can be a spoiled brat
sometimes.
She leans over Maude, overly enunciating.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mother, I cannot assist you if I
don’t know what it is you want.
Maude grabs Henrietta violently and pulls their faces close

together. She whispers angrily.
MAUDE
Marvin.
A pane of glass shatters in the next room. They all gasp and
look towards the door. Even Maude is terrified.
9.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
Marvin?
A heavy door creaks open in the next room. A gust of wind

followed by the sound of rain. The sunny day outside the
window suddently becomes very dark and overcast. We hear
footsteps on top of broken glass. There is a strange thump of
a walking stick intermingled with the footsteps. The steps
are soft at first, then get louder as they approach the room.
They also get quicker paced, as if someone is running to get
to them from a tremendous distance. The ladies look at each
other, terrified. Suddenly, the running stops. An eerie
silence befalls the room, and sunlight streams in again.
Then, with an air of casual acquaintance, a well-dressed
young man in a top hat and cane opens the door.
MR. BABCOCK
Oh. Forgive me ladies. I did not
mean to startle you. I was merely
intending to rap ever-so-gently
upon yonder exterior window pane of
yours when...
He shoves the head of the cane through his fingertips which

are shaped like an 'o'. He makes a clicking sound with his
tongue when he does this.
MR. BABCOCK (CONT'D)

My clumsy staff went right on
through. I'll pay for the window,
of course.
He removes his wallet.

Such troublesome apertures. Always
breaking when you least expect it.
How much would you say? Ten
shilling? Six crown? Fourteen
guinea?
He holds out the money. No one moves.

I’ve never paid for a window
before, so I’m... afraid I’ve no
idea what one might...
HENRIETTA
Who are you?
MR. BABCOCK
Oh. Forgive me, ladies.
10.
He removes his hat. Rain water drips from it. He bows.

My name is Marvin.
MAUDE faints. Thunder cracks. The candles all blow out and
the daylight disappears.
HENRIETTA
Oh, dear me!
ELENORE
Oh my!
Daylight streams through the windows again, with Marvin still

bowing, and Maude passed out on the ground.
MR. BABCOCK
I say. Will she be all right?
HENRIETTA
She’s perfectly fine. Marvin who?
Elenore begins lighting some of the candles.
MR. BABCOCK
(Returning from his bow)
Oh. Babcock, my lady. At your
pleasure.
HENRIETTA
As in... Lord Chesterfield Babcock?
MR. BABCOCK
Yes Madam. Lord Babcock was my
grandfather.
HENRIETTA
Grandfath-? But, Chesterfield’s
younger than I am. He...
She catches herself.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Well, that is, I... believed him to
be. I...
MR. BABCOCK
(Laughing gaily)
Oh, good heavens, no, my lady!
You’re thinking of my uncle, Lord
Chesterfield Babcock the Younger.
Lord Chesterfield Babcock the Elder
was... my grandfather.
(MORE)
11.

He’s been dead for seven years now,
though, god rest his soul.
HENRIETTA
Oh. (Politely) I am very sorry for
your loss.
She brightens instantly.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Speaking of loss... Have you met my
mother, Lady Maude Bantam of the
Rosecomb line? Her great-great-
great grandfather Henry Rosecomb
was a direct descendent of King
Richard the Third!
He looks at Maude, still lying prostrate on the ground.
MR. BABCOCK
Well, I’m... not quite certain I’d
recognize her from this position.
HENRIETTA
Oh, of course! Of course! I do
apologize.
Henrietta rushes to Maude’s side.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mumsy, please get up. You’re
embarrassing me. (To Marvin) I
swear, old age and laziness do not
go hand in hand.
She gently pats Maude’s face.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mother, please wake up now.
MAUDE
Hmm? What? Where am I?
HENRIETTA
We’re in the sitting room, mother.
And we have company. (Whispering
urgently) Very handsome company.
Maude looks around, confused.
MAUDE
What? What am I doing in the
sitting room?
12.
HENRIETTA
You’re lying down, Mother.
Maude struggles to get up. Henrietta helps her.
MAUDE
Oh, don’t be absurd! I... Why
should I be lying down in the
sitting room?!? I have no business
to be...
She sees Mr. Babcock, and trails off.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
Lying down.
HENRIETTA
Mother, this is Marvin.
Maude gapes at him, slowly.
MAUDE
I see.
She waves him away and walks to her chair.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
But what on God’s green earth is
Marvin?
HENRIETTA
It’s his name, mother. Sir Marvin
Babcock.
MR. BABCOCK
(Bowing)
How do you do, madam?
MAUDE
(Disdainfully)
I’m quite well, thank you.
(Whispering to Henrietta) What kind
of name is Marvin?
HENRIETTA
I don’t know, mother. But, you were
shouting it several moments ago.
MAUDE
(Shouting)
Shouting! Why should I be shouting?
And surely not a name I’ve never
heard before! Don’t be ridiculous!
(MORE)
13.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
(To Mr. Babcock) Welcome, Sir
Marvin. And please do excuse my
daughter’s exaggerations. She has
much of her father in her, I’m
afraid.
Mr. Babcock nods.
MR. BABCOCK
The name is Welch, my lady.
MAUDE
Hm?
MR. BABCOCK
The name Marvin comes from Wales.
My mother comes from Wales.
HENRIETTA
Oh yes. I do recall now that Chet
would often visit his Aunt Louisa
out in Wales from time to...
They all turn to look at her.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Time.
MR. BABCOCK
Hm?
ELENORE
Mother?
HENRIETTA
(Embarrassed)
I... er... I meant Sir
Chesterfield, of course.
MR. BABCOCK
(Smiling)
Of course.
HENRIETTA
(Changing the subject)
Mr. Babcock, have you met my
daughter Elenore? She’ll be
seventeen this April. (Whispering)
And as yet, unpromised.
ELENORE
(Whispering, to her)
Mama!
14.
Henrietta shrugs at her. Mr. Babcock bows and kisses

Elenore’s hand.
MR. BABCOCK
My lady.
Elenore blushes and curtsies.
ELENORE
Good sir.
MR. BABCOCK
I must say, you’re even more
beautiful in person, than in all
the tales I’ve heard about you.
ELENORE
You’ve heard... tales about m-?
Henrietta quickly takes Mr. Babcock by the arm and leads him
away from Elenore.
HENRIETTA
You’ve heard tales about my
daughter?
MR. BABCOCK
Why yes, I’ve... (To Elenore) heard
that Elenore Dumpy is the fairest,
sweetest, and the loveliest
creature in all the town of
Orpington.
MAUDE
Pah! The only person telling tales
in here is you!
They all look at her.
HENRIETTA
(Whispering)
Mother? What are you saying?
MAUDE
Hmm? What? I haven’t said a word,
dear. I’m merely minding my own
business.
Maude fiddles with something in her lap. Henrietta and

Elenore share a glance.
HENRIETTA
You must forgive her sudden
outbursts, Mr. Babcock.
(MORE)
15.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
She’s a tad bit feeble-minded and
elderly, you know how that is.
MAUDE
Feeble-minded? You dare to call me
feeble-minded!
She stands.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
I’ve half a mind to show you just
how feeble-minded I am!
HENRIETTA
Please. Pay her no attention,
Marvin.
Maude stands on the chair and begins to jump.
MAUDE
(Still bouncing)
FEEBLE-MINDED! FEEBLE-MINDED!
HENRIETTA
Come now, tell me more about these
tales you’ve heard.
MAUDE
FEEBLE! MINDED! FEEBLE! MINDED!
FEEBLE! MINDED!
ELENORE
(Wistfully)
They told you I was lovely?
MR. BABCOCK
I...
MAUDE
(Still bouncing)
YOU’RE ALL FEEBLE-MINDED! EVERY
SINGLE ONE OF YOU IS FEEBLE-MINDED!
HENRIETTA
Did they say anything about me?
Maude stops jumping for a moment.
MAUDE
Yes. They said you were feeble-
minded!
MR. BABCOCK
Now listen here, I don’t...
16.
Maude resumes jumping.
MAUDE
FEEBLE! MIND-
Maude stops jumping and makes a choking noise. She struggles

for a moment, her eyes roll to the back of her head, and she
passes out.
ELENORE
Grandmama!
Elenore rushes to catch her just in time. Mr. Babcock moves

to help, but Henrietta grabs him.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Babcock, please! For the love
of God, I must know!
He stares at her, angrily.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Did they say anything about me?
Mr. Babcock eyes her up and down.
MR. BABCOCK
Yes. They said you were adopted.
Thunder cracks. The candles blow out again. Henrietta

releases his arm. Mr. Babcock turns to help Elenore, who is
tending to Maude.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. LATE AFTERNOON.
A fire burns in the fireplace. MR. BABCOCK, alone in the

room, warms his hands by it. ELENORE enters.
ELENORE
Mother wants to know if you’ll stay
for supper.
MR. BABCOCK
Yes, I would like that very much.
Elenore nods and starts to exit.

Elenore?
She turns back to him.

17.

May I call you Elenore?
She nods.

I meant what I said before. About
you being lovely.
She smiles and blushes.
ELENORE
You’re lovely too.
He smiles. She looks away, embarrassed.

ELENORE (CONT'D)
My mother says that I’m poor-
complexioned. That I have... facial
warts and acne and that I’ll never
meet a man.
He touches her face with one hand.
MR. BABCOCK
You’ve met me, haven’t you?
She touches his hand, hopefully.
ELENORE
My skin... does not repulse you?
He touches her face with both hands.
MR. BABCOCK
On the contrary. I find your beauty
marks compelling.
ELENORE
(Blushing)
Oh. No one’s ever called them
beauty marks before.
He kisses her on the beauty marks – each and every one of

them – slowly, sensuously. She gulps.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Good sir, I...
She pulls back, ever so slightly.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
I feel like I should know you
better.
18.
He stares deep into her eyes.
MR. BABCOCK
Ask me anything.
ELENORE
I... (Hopefully) Did you show up
just for me?
He turns away, remorsefully.
MR. BABCOCK
No, I’m afraid. I... had other
business to attend to.
ELENORE
With Mama?
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm?
ELENORE
With Mama? You... came because you
had other business with Mama?
MR. BABCOCK
Oh no, I... Other business here in
town. But... while I was here, I...
heard about your grandfather.
Passing. So I figured I’d stop in.
Deliver my condolences. And...
accidentally break your window in.
I... do apologize for that again.
ELENORE
I understand. But... how did you
come to hear tales about me?
MR. BABCOCK
From the villagers, of course. In
town.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. VILLAGE. DAY.
MR. BABCOCK removes his hat and bows to a shop-merchant, and

begins a conversation with him, silently. The merchant is
very animated.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

They said you were a handsome
woman.
(MORE)
19.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Kissed by a god, they told me.
Or... perhaps afflicted by a god,
I... couldn’t really hear their
words.
PRESENT DAY.
INT. SITTING ROOM. NIGHT.
MR. BABCOCK
But it sounded like a fondness they
were speaking of you, so I see they
were correct.
ELENORE
Would you take me with you?
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm?
ELENORE
Back to Wales. Or... wherever it is
you’re going. After this.
MR. BABCOCK
I’m... really very hungry actually.
He smiles and rubs her shoulders.

Why don’t we discuss this after
supper?
ELENORE
(Nodding, politely)
Yes. Of course, my lord.
She starts to exit.
MR. BABCOCK
Elenore.
She turns back.

Please. Call me Marvin.
She nods and exits.

Hmm, kissed by a frog, more like
it.
20.
He removes a handkerchief and wipes his lips and tongue off,

then turns back to the fire.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. EVENING.
MR. BABCOCK warms himself at the fireplace, yet again. This

time he has removed his waistcoat. HENRIETTA enters behind
him, with a tray of tea and biscuits. She watches him for a
moment before speaking.
HENRIETTA
I trust supper was to your liking?
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm? (Bitterly) Oh, yes. If you
like burnt sausages, that is.
He resumes warming himself. Henrietta is taken aback.

Do you have any more coals, by the
way? The fire’s going out.
HENRIETTA
Oh. We have some more kindling out
by the hog shed. I’ll have Elenore
go and fetch some for you, if...
MR. BABCOCK
Bah. Nonsense. What's the point of
having a big strong man around the
house if I can't do some of the
heavy lifting for you from time to
time?
He smiles as he dons his coat and hat.
HENRIETTA
But you're our guest.
MR. BABCOCK
(Smiling)
Am I?
HENRIETTA
I...?
After a pause, she sets the tray down.

21.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
I brought some tea for you. And...
biscuits. For when you return.
Normally, papa would offer you a
cigar at this point, but I’m afraid
we haven’t any in the household.
And as you’re the only gentleman
here tonight, I daresay I’m not
entirely certain what the proper
protocol is for such an occasion.
That is... He's left things in a
terrible disarray. Papa. He’s
passed away in such a hurry.
MR. BABCOCK
I see. And your servants? Where are
they?
HENRIETTA
It’s been a very difficult time,
Mr. Babcock. Please. Go out to the
wood pile, and then enjoy your
biscuits.
She starts to exit.
MR. BABCOCK
And?
HENRIETTA
(Turning back)
Hmm?
MR. BABCOCK
Aren’t you going to invite me to
spend the evening?
HENRIETTA
I... Of course. If you wish?
MR. BABCOCK
(Tipping his hat)
Most indeed. For you see, it will
be a great many miles until my next
sojourn. And I would hate to start
off on such a journey at this
dreadful hour of the evening. I
would very much like to stay, Miss
Henrietta.
HENRIETTA
Of course. I’ll... Well, I’ll go
and make up the servants’ quarters.
(MORE)
22.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
They’ve been vacant for some time
now. And... while I'm certain
they’re not as lofty as you're used
to, they’ll...
MR. BABCOCK
What about in your bed?
He steps close to her.
HENRIETTA
I... beg your pardon?
MR. BABCOCK
I said, why don't I sleep in your
bed? It's the largest in the
county, from what I’ve heard.
He plays with the feathers on her collar.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Babcock! This is... highly...
(She gulps) inappropriate.
He releases her feathers.
MR. BABCOCK
Oh. No. I... believe you’ve
misunderstood me, madam. I meant,
why don't I sleep in your bed? And
you can go and sleep in the
servants’ quarters? It is customary
after all to treat your guests to
the finest that your household has
to offer, is it not?
HENRIETTA
I dare say, it is... not how I...
MR. BABCOCK
(Bowing politely)
Please. Allow me to rephrase my
question. You see, I was brought up
in a tiny cottage just outside of
Oxwich.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. FARM. ELEVEN YEARS AGO. DREARY DAY.
YOUNG MARVIN attempts to catch a goat. The goat is too quick,

and darts away from him.
23.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

For eleven years of my life, I was
raised to believe that I was the
simple son of a lowly goatherd. The
man who cared for me was a lovely
chap whom I used to call my da.
The GOATHERD watches Young Marvin’s efforts, amused.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

His hands were rough and calloused,
like the skin of a dead rhinoceros.
Goatherd lights up a pipe while laughing at Marvin.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

Now, I suppose you’re wondering how
I know this, and I will arrive at
that explanation momentarily.
However, up until my 11th birthday,
I believed... nay, I knew it in my
soul... that I was worthless. A
goat farmer’s lowly offspring.
Worth little more than the quart
and a half of milk I routinely
squeezed out of our nannie’s
wretched teat.
Young Marvin finally catches the goat. Goatherd applauds.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

But on that fateful morning, at a
quarter past 11... It was actually
11 past 11, if my memory serves...
On the date of my 11th birthday...
In the eleventh month of the year,
no less, I discovered something
marvelous.
Young Marvin prepares the goat for slaughter, then notices

Goatherd is no longer watching him. Goatherd looks off in the
distance, and Marvin’s eyes follow. There is a carriage.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

You see, our landlord, Lord
Chesterfield Babcock... The Elder,
that is. Came down to survey his
land. He rode up in a horse-drawn
carriage, gleaming brilliantly in
the tardy morning sun.
A carriage appears outside the gates, exactly as described.
(MORE)
24.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.) (CONT'D)

The golden wreaths of Caesar were
embossed upon his doorknobs, and
his rails were solid brass.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK the Elder appears, exactly as

described. Young Marvin is gobsmacked.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

When he stepped celestially from
that chariot, it was as though I’d
seen the face of God Himself. No
man could be that heavenly, and
yet… here was the face of the
Almighty. He called out to me in a
basso profundo voice.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK

You! Dear boy! Come hither!
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

He asked me what my name was.
YOUNG MARVIN
Marvin Penburie, my lord. At your
service.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABBOCK

Marvin Penburie.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

He repeated, in a tone that one
could only describe as jovial. The
wretch whom I used to call my da
approached.
Goatherd does exactly as described.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

He bowed profusely before this
goliath and offered his sincere
apologies.
GOATHERD
I am terribly sorry, my lord.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

For you see, it had rained a
tempest on the eve before, and the
farm was in a shambles.

Nonsense.
25.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

Said Lord Babcock.

I have come on happy tidings. For
you see, it is my grandson’s 11th
birthday.
GOATHERD
But, my lord!
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

The calloused man protested.

Tut tut. You knew this day would
come.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

He placed a gentle hand upon my
shoulder.

My son.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

He leaned in close to me. So close
that I could smell the apple brandy
on his breath.

You look just like your father. He
was a difficult lad. But, I dare
say that I loved him. I wish I
could tell you a delightful tale of
a Prodigal Son who’d returned home
after a lifetime of debauchery and
sin into his loving father’s open
arms. But alas...
INTERNAL
FLASHBACK.
EXT. MERCHANT VESSEL. STORMY NIGHT. 12 YEARS AGO.
SIR THOMAS BABCOCK of the Royal Navy attempts to tie up the

mast on a sailing vessel during a terrible thunderstorm. He
hollers out orders unintelligibly, when the rigging comes
loose and hurls him overboard.
26.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK (V.O.)

Your father died almost a year ago,
traveling upon a merchant vessel
that was capsized heading out to
sea.
MAIN FLASHBACK.

But, before he passed away –
slightly more than 11 years before
he passed away – he had a dalliance
with your mother...
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

I recall him here looking at the
shattered remnants of the goatherd
whom I used to call my da, with an
air of pity, and of scorn.
INTERNAL
FLASHBACK.
EXT. FARM. TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO. SUNNY DAY.
SIR THOMAS BABCOCK, ten years earlier, is flirting with the

GOATHERD’S WIFE. The GOATHERD watches, concerned.

A slattern. A low-born, pathetic
woman, who seduced your father, and
gave birth to you, dear Marvin.
INT. FARM BEDROOM. TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO. DAY.
GOATHERD’S WIFE is giving birth. SIR THOMAS BABCOCK and

GOATHERD are in the outer room, but only Thomas seems
concerned about the outcome. Goatherd stares off into the
distance.

But she did not survive the
process.
The midwife brings the infant to Thomas, along with tragic

news. He collapses. The Goatherd turns away.
27.

Ashamed, terrified of what my wrath
might be...
Thomas, on his knees, offers the infant to Goatherd.

Your father, my son, begged this
here goatherd to be your father,
and to raise you as his own. He
paid him forty shillings...
GOATHERD (V.O.)
Twenty.
MAIN FLASHBACK.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK nods at the GOATHERD.

Twenty.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

Sir Chesterfield repeated.
INTERNAL
FLASHBACK.
Montage of SIR THOMAS BABCOCK doing the things described

below.

And then he fled to Scotland. Out
there, he turned to gambling, and
to drink, and eventually joined the
Royal Navy.
MAIN FLASHBACK.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK is still speaking to YOUNG MARVIN.

But, had I known... Oh my dear lad,
if only I had known, I would have
raised you as my own dear son. I
swear this to you with all my
heart.
(MORE)
28.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK (CONT'D)

Alas, I’ve only just now discovered
you through his letters, tucked
away inside your father’s trunk.
INTERNAL
FLASHBACK.
INT. BABCOCK ESTATE. THOMAS’ ROOM. NIGHT.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK searches through his son’s

belongings, and discovers a series of letters.

Letters that I surely never would
have opened, save for grief which
transported me to madness upon his
death. It was in those letters that
I discovered your existence, and
that, my boy, is why I’m here
today.
MAIN FLASHBACK.

I wish to raise you as my grandson,
and not some lowly goatherd. (To
the Goatherd) No offense, good man.
(To Marvin) For surely, you’re a
Babcock, my dear boy, and not a
Penburie at all.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
Good sir, why on earth are you
telling me all of this?
PRESENT DAY.
HENRIETTA and MR. BABCOCK are in the sitting room, as before.

Mr. Babcock glares at her.
MR. BABCOCK
My grandfather took me in
immediately. He raised me in a
palatial estate, treated me with
figs. I had servants waiting on me
endlessly.
(MORE)
29.

To feed me, bathe me, tend to my
every whim and base desire. He sent
me on safari on my thirteenth
birthday. To sub-Saharan Africa.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. AFRICA. DAY.
YOUNG MARVIN is dressed in Victorian Era safari clothing,

with a hunting rifle on his shoulder. As the camera pulls
back, we see he is standing proudly on a dead giraffe.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

I shot a dozen elephants, a lion,
two rhinoceri, and 17 giraffes. I
say, you’ve never lived a day until
you’ve stood upon the carcass of a
dead giraffe.
PRESENT DAY.
MR. BABCOCK stands, with one foot upon the sofa, as though it
were a dead giraffe.
MR. BABCOCK
He raised me as a nobleman from
that day forward, despite my
bastard roots. He gave me a taste
for the finer things in life. I’ve
eaten caviar for breakfast. I’ve
played cricket with the Prince of
Wales. Thus, ever since that
fateful day 11 years ago, no matter
how I try, no matter what I do, I
simply cannot fall asleep upon a
servant’s bed. Therefore, I shall
sleep in yours or I shall not sleep
at all. I hope you understand.
HENRIETTA
I...
He places both hands upon her shoulders.
MR. BABCOCK
My dear Miss Henrietta, I will say
again. You shall make your bed for
me.
(MORE)
30.

And you shall make the servant’s
bed for you. And I shall hear no
more about it. Understood?
HENRIETTA
I... Yes, my lord.
She nods and starts to exit.

Oh, and Henrietta?
HENRIETTA
Hmm?
He removes his coat and hat.

MR. BABCOCK
Would you be a dear and fetch some
wood for me outside? It’s far too
cold for me out there.
He pours himself some tea.
HENRIETTA
As... as you wish, my lord.
She exits, as he picks up a biscuit and eats it.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. DAWN. THE NEXT DAY.
A rooster crows, as sunlight trickles in. MAUDE and ELENORE

are seated. Elenore has a new outfit on, but Maude is still
wearing her filthy mourning attire.
MAUDE
(Irritated)
Humph. I don’t know what to make of
it.
ELENORE
Hmm?
MAUDE
A strange man sleeping in our home.
Your mother not awake in time for
breakfast. It’s turning into
cobwebs, if you ask me. This whole
estate will turn to dust if we’re
not careful.
31.
ELENORE
I don’t know, grandmama. I... sort
of like it.
MAUDE
What? Destruction?
ELENORE
No. Excitement. The house feels
brighter now. It’s...
MAUDE
Disturbing. Who will feed the
chickens now? The pigs?
ELENORE
I’ll take care of it. As I always
do.
MAUDE
Puh. You’ll take care of the flower
petals and the dandelions, from the
look within your eyes.
ELENORE
I think he fancies me.
MAUDE
Who? The dandelion?
ELENORE
No. The... (She points upwards) The
man upstairs.
Maude looks up.
MAUDE
Hmm. Yes. Well. Blessèd are the
meek, the Bible says.
ELENORE
No. I mean... Directly upstairs.
Mr. Babcock.
MAUDE
(Rolling her eyes)
Puh. I wouldn’t trust him. He isn’t
who he says he is.
ELENORE
I think he’s nice.
32.
MAUDE
Yes, well I think you’re a fool, is
what I think.
ELENORE
(Brazenly)
He kissed me, you know.
MAUDE
Oh, I’ll bet he did.
ELENORE
He told me I was lovely.
MAUDE
I think he’s lied to you.
ELENORE
(Hurt)
Well... if you must know, he was a
perfect gentleman.
MAUDE
Your grandfather was a perfect
gentleman, and I certainly never
made eyes at him, the way you’ve
made eyes at Mr. Babcock. Oh no, my
dear, I don’t believe he’s been a
gentleman at all. In fact, I’d say
it’s a rather rare thing for a
woman to get all dewy eyed and
sentimental over a perfect
gentleman now, isn’t it? Surely,
there must be something scandalous
about him, or else why would he
elicit such emotion?
ELENORE
Well, I don’t think you’re correct,
grandmama. I think he is a
gentleman. And I think he’s very
much in love with me.
MAUDE
And your mother calls me the loony
one. Which reminds me, where is
your mother? I feel as though I
haven’t eaten in days.
ELENORE
You haven’t.
33.
MAUDE
Hm? Oh nonsense. I ate just
yesterday. I’m sure of it.
ELENORE
Grandmama, we tried. But...
Elenore shakes her head.
MAUDE
No, I’m certain of it. I remember.
Chicken soup, with a... biscuit on
the side.
ELENORE
That was Sunday. We haven’t had
chicken soup since Sunday. Today is
Wednesday.
Maude waves her away, angrily.
MAUDE
Puh. Go and find your mother.
Elenore nods and exits.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
Marvin. What kind of name is
Marvin?
Henrietta enters, still in her nightgown.
HENRIETTA
(Yawning)
Oh, goodness. What time is it,
mother?
MAUDE
Time enough for you to be dressed
and ready for the day, I’d say.
What in the world has gotten into
you?
HENRIETTA
I don’t know. I... feel as though I
haven’t slept in years. My body
aches, my neck is stiff. I don’t
know how the servants ever managed
it.
MAUDE
The servants? What in heaven’s name
are you on about?
34.
HENRIETTA
I...
Elenore screams from off-screen.
ELENORE (V.O.)
MR. BABCOCK!
Sound of high heels running across the floor. Elenore re-

enters, and slams the door behind her.
ELENORE
Mother! Why is Mr. Babcock in your
bed?!?
HENRIETTA
I...
Maude gapes at Henrietta.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
It isn’t what it looks like. I can
assure you.
Mr. Babcock runs in, completely naked.
MR. BABCOCK
Elenore, I...
He notices the women.

Oh. Forgive me, ladies.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Babcock, your... (She points)
namesake is showing.
He looks down and realizes. He is unfazed by this, however,

he politely grabs a tea tray and covers himself with it, as a
formality.
MR. BABCOCK
I am very sorry, dear ladies. It
appears that I may have given Miss
Elenore here a little fright.
ELENORE
It wasn’t little!
They all look at her.

35.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
I mean, the fright. It was a...
terrible fright. It wasn’t little
at all.
HENRIETTA
I see.
She turns to Mr. Babcock.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mr. Babcock, I have given you
permission to sleep in my bed last
evening.
The other women gasp.

HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Whilst I slept in the other room,
of course. (To Mr. Babcock) But I
feel you’re beginning to take
advantage now. I don’t know how you
do things back in Wales, good sir,
but here in Orpington, we prefer to
sleep with our clothing on.
MR. BABCOCK
Of course. I am terribly sorry, my
lady.
He starts to exit.
MAUDE
Mr. Babcock?
He stops in the doorway.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
You look awfully familiar to me.
MR. BABCOCK
Do I?
HENRIETTA
But of course, mother. You saw him
last evening, when he arrived.
MAUDE
Yes. But... there’s something
familiar about all of this...
HENRIETTA
Familiar?!? About a naked man in
our sitting room?!
36.
MR. BABCOCK
My dear ladies. With your
permission...
HENRIETTA
Yes, yes. Please. Go on. (To Maude)
Now mother...
He starts to exit.
MAUDE
Wait! Mr. Babcock?
He turns around again.
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm? Yes?
MAUDE
I must know. What are your
intentions here? With us?
MR. BABCOCK
Well, for the time being, my lady,
I intend to be less undressed. Good
day.
He hands Elenore the tea tray, and exits. Maude smirks

knowingly at Elenore.
MAUDE
Not hiding something, hmm? No, I
daresay he had it all laid out in
front of us. Rather awkwardly in my
opinion. (To Henrietta) And what
other room were you sleeping in,
pray tell?
HENRIETTA
The...
She lowers her head.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
The servant’s quarters. Mrs.
Edmund’s old... bedroom.
MAUDE
(Shaking her head and
chuckling)
Puh. You’re all feeble-minded.
Every last one of you.
37.
Maude stands, with Elenore’s help, and exits.
FADE TO:
INT. KITCHEN. MORNING.
Elenore and Henrietta are preparing breakfast.
ELENORE
Mother, do you believe Mr. Babcock
and I would make a decent match?
HENRIETTA
Well, I daresay, he’s very well
endowed. (Beat) Er... I mean, in
fortune, from what I gather. Sir
Chesterfield the Elder was a very
wealthy man.
ELENORE
Whatever happened with...?
She stops herself.
HENRIETTA
Hmm?
ELENORE
Nevermind.
HENRIETTA
Sir Chesterfield the Younger? Oh,
he was an old... acquaintance of
mine. In the glory days. A very
fond acquaintance. But, he was
betrothed to the Earl of
Cambridge’s daughter – her lady
Mariah Eldervine. Alas, poor
Chesterfield never had a chance.
ELENORE
(Sadly)
Nor did you, it sounds like.
HENRIETTA
No, I suppose I didn’t. But I met
your father, and he was very good
to me. Even after he died. He left
us both a beautiful estate. We had
furs, linens. Nearly everything a
woman could desire. Of course, I...
never really learned to manage it,
the way he could.
(MORE)
38.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Something about the female brain.
It’s... Well, you know what your
father always said. “Women are made
for dainties and tarts...”
HENRIETTA AND ELENORE

“And the men are made for smarts.”
Henrietta giggles.
HENRIETTA
Yes, it’s true. So then Papa agreed
to help, of course. Your...
grandpapa. But we all know what
happened there. (She sighs) Alas, I
have no idea what he did with
anything, apparently. He might have
spent it all on drink, for all I
can figure.
ELENORE
Grandpapa didn’t drink!
HENRIETTA
No, but your grandmama sure did.
ELENORE
(Scandalized)
She did?! Oh my.
HENRIETTA
Yes, and still does, for all I
know. Though Lord knows where she
gets it from, since we haven’t any
money! But I suppose it was all
just Papa’s way of preparing his
soul for Heaven, in a way. For it’s
like the Bible always tells us –
it’s easier by far to stick a
needle in a camel’s eye than for a
rich man to get into Heaven. I
suppose Papa’s soul was in no
danger by the end, according to
that standard. And nor are either
of ours, from the looks of it.
ELENORE
Well, that’s... a rather
pessimistic view, Mama.
Henrietta throws a dish to the ground, and it shatters.

39.
HENRIETTA
Oh, I’d rather go to hell than make
another boiled omelet! Where on
earth is Mrs. Edmund?!?! And where
the hell is Edgar’s money?!?
She grabs Elenore by the shoulders and shakes her.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Where on God’s green earth did Papa
leave it?!
MR. BABCOCK enters, fully dressed.
MR. BABCOCK
Oh. Good day, sweet ladies. Am I
interrupting something?
Henrietta releases Elenore, and turns away from them. Elenore

cleans the broken dish.
ELENORE
No. Mama and I were just preparing
breakfast.
Henrietta sulkily pretends to bake, sulkily.
MR. BABCOCK
How delightful! Would you mind
boiling me up an omelet before I
leave? I have some dreadfully
boring errands to attend to, up in
town today, and I’d hate to do them
on an empty stomach.
HENRIETTA
(Laced with bitterness and
grief)
Of course.
He tips his hat and starts to exit.

ELENORE
Mr. Babcock?
He turns back in.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Will you... be leaving us for good
this afternoon? Or...?
He takes her hand in his.

40.
MR. BABCOCK
Why, that decision lies entirely
with you, my dear Ms. Elenore.
He kisses her hand.

Would you like me to leave this
afternoon?
ELENORE
Oh no. I...
She turns to Henrietta.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Mama? Can Mr. Babcock stay another
evening?
Henrietta feigns a smile.
HENRIETTA
How nice. Yes, that would be most
lovely, dear. Most... lovely,
indeed.
Mr. Babcock bows to Henrietta, then pulls Elenore’s hand to

his chest.
MR. BABCOCK
Until this afternoon, my lady. I
will count the hours like a rooster
counts his hens.
He kisses Elenore on the cheek, and exits. Elenore beams.

Henrietta gapes.
ELENORE
I think he loves me.
HENRIETTA
I think he’d better. Or I’ll be
boiling him up next.
She takes a pot off the counter and crosses to the stove.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. MID-AFTERNOON.
All three women are seated and sipping tea. They do so in an

almost choreographed and comedic fashion.
41.
One sipping on the off-beat, the other two sipping on the on-
beat, glasses clinking on saucers, etc. This carries on for a
moment.
MAUDE
Ahem.
HENRIETTA
Oh. Yes, mama?
MAUDE
I know you blame me, dear, but I
had nothing to do with it.
HENRIETTA
Oh. Of course.
They resume sipping tea for a moment. HENRIETTA stops to

think.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Nothing to do with what, mama?
MAUDE
With losing your father’s money. I
know you all think of me as feeble-
minded, but I’m as sound as the day
I was born. I assure you, I’d
remember if I had lost it.
HENRIETTA
Of course you would, mama.
(Whispering, to ELENORE) Unless you
spent it all on drink.
Elenore rolls her eyes, annoyed.
MAUDE
Hmm? What?
HENRIETTA
Nothing, mama. Would you like some
more tea to drink?
MAUDE
No. Have you tried the dresser
drawers?
HENRIETTA
I’m sorry?
42.
MAUDE
The dresser drawers. In Papa’s
room. Perhaps he’s left the money
there.
HENRIETTA
Well, yes, I checked the dresser
drawers, Mama. I checked them three
times just to be certain. It’s
nowhere to be found.
MAUDE
Because he often carried money
inside his trousers, if I recall
correctly. Did you check inside his
trous–?
HENRIETTA
Yes, I checked inside his trousers,
Mama. Every single...
A thought crosses her mind.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Pair.
She turns to Elenore.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Elenore. Was Papa wearing trousers
when he died?
MAUDE
(Offended)
Well, I daresay that he was! He
wasn’t like some of these young men
these days, running around all
naked as a jaybird. No, Papa was a
respectable man. A decent...
HENRIETTA
Yes, I know, Mama! Papa was a
respectable man. Of course. But I
need to know which trousers he was
wearing, so I can determine if I’ve
searched in them or not!
MAUDE
(After a beat)
Oh.
43.
ELENORE
They were grey, Mama. With frayed
edges near the heel.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. THEIR FARMHOUSE. MORNING.
ELENORE carries a bucket of eggs towards the woodshed, when

she sees the following.
ELENORE (V.O.)
I remember, because I found him
face down near the woodshed on that
dreadful morning. His legs were
sticking out, and I thought, “How
odd. The edges near his heels are
frayed. I wonder why Mrs. Edmund
hadn’t taken the pains to mend them
yet?”
PRESENT DAY.
Both women look at her.
HENRIETTA
That was the first thing you
thought of when you saw my father
lying dead?!
ELENORE
Oh no, mama. The first thing I
thought of was, “It’s not even
twelve o’clock. I wonder why
grandpapa is sleeping near the
woodshed.” But then I saw his
trousers, and I thought, “How odd.
The edges near his heels are
frayed. I wonder why Mrs. Edmund
hadn’t taken the-”
HENRIETTA
Yes, fine. But are those the pants
we buried him in, or did we bury
him in his blue ones?
ELENORE
I... can’t remember.
HENRIETTA
Hmm.
44.
MAUDE
What are you on about now?
HENRIETTA
(Loudly, as to an invalid)
Was Papa buried in his blue
trousers or his grey ones?
MAUDE
(Offended)
Well, of course he was buried in
his trousers! What do you think he
was buried in, his pantaloons?!?
HENRIETTA
No Mama, he...
She puts her teacup down.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Listen, I’ll need to venture into
town today, and visit Mr.
Fennimore.
ELENORE
The undertaker?
HENRIETTA
Yes. If Papa left any money in his
trousers, surely Mr. Fennimore
would have found it.
ELENORE
But wouldn’t he have mentioned it
by now?
HENRIETTA
(Standing)
Perhaps. But it doesn’t hurt to
make an inquiry, now does it?
ELENORE
But perhaps he... considered that a
part of his fee?
HENRIETTA
(Annoyed)
Well, perhaps he considered wrongly
then, now hasn’t he?
She catches herself, then straightens her dress.
FANTASY.
45.
INT. UNDERTAKER’S OFFICE. DAY.
HENRIETTA imagines the following confrontation with MR.

FENNIMORE.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
I will be most polite, of course,
but I will be watching his face for
any sign of dissimulation. If he
gives off even the slightest
twitch, I’ll know...
MAUDE (V.O.)
Know what?
PRESENT DAY.
HENRIETTA
Are you even listening, Mother? Or
have you grown deaf as well as
daft?
Maude glares at her bitterly.
MAUDE
Lord knows I wish the cholera had
taken you instead of your brother.
HENRIETTA
Yes well, it didn’t. So you’re left
with me, I’m afraid. And I’m about
to have a word with the undertaker.
MAUDE
(Horrified, touching her
neck)
What?!? About what exactly?!?
HENRIETTA
About Papa’s bloody trousers,
that’s what!!
Maude shakes her head.
MAUDE
Puh. You young people and your
trousers. In my day, we just kept
them on, no matter what.
HENRIETTA
When did you ever wear trousers,
Mama?
Maude spits on the ground and stares off into the distance.
46.
ELENORE
(To Henrietta)
But Mama. Suppose you find that...
Mr. Fennimore did pilfer
grandpapa’s money...
HENRIETTA
Our money!
ELENORE
Well yes, but... whatever could you
do about it? Surely, he wouldn’t
just hand it back to you, now would
he?
HENRIETTA
Oh, you’d be very surprised, my
dear. The mind of a thief is a
multi-faceted thing.
FANTASY.
INT. UNDERTAKER'S OFFICE. DAY.
Henrietta continues imagining this confrontation.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
Perhaps he’d be so plagued with
guilt upon hearing of our despair
that he would say...
MR. FENNIMORE
(Thick Cockney accent)
Oh, my dear Ms. ‘Enrie’a. My
darling Ms. ‘Enrie’a, why haven’
you come to me sooner? Of course I
found your papa’s money, bu’
finding neither the toime nor the
proper moment to come and deliver
i’ to you in person, I have instead
secured i’ in a priva’e safe for
you for the very momen’ you’ve
returned.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
And I would say...
HENRIETTA
Good Mr. Fennimore. My dear Mr.
Fennimore.
(MORE)
47.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
You have no inkling how indebted to
you my family and I truly are.
ANOTHER FANTASY.
INT. SITTING ROOM. EVENING.
MR. FENNIMORE is now in their sitting room, dressed in fine

clothing, as ELENORE plays the pianoforte.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
And I would curtsy to him with my
fan, and invite him to our house
for supper, and you, my pet, could
play him an omaggio dolcissimo on
the pianoforte, and he and I could
dance the night away in a
Varsouvienne.
She dances pleasantly with Mr. Fennimore.
MAUDE (V.O.)
And she calls me feeble-minded.
PRESENT DAY.
ELENORE
You wish to dance the night away
with... the undertaker?
HENRIETTA
And why not? He’s a very well-
established man. And he’s never
hurting for customers, that’s for
certain. And surely, he’s a much
better match than that... creature
you’ve been ogling.
A glass shatters in the next room.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Oh! What in the world?
Another glass shatters. And another one. And another one.

Each one getting closer and closer, and louder and louder.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mr. Babcock?
Dead silence. Then, the very slow sound of trickling water.

The women all look at each other, terrified. After a long
moment, the door opens and MR. BABCOCK enters, soaking wet,
but as casual as can be.
48.
MR. BABCOCK
Oh goodness me. Please accept my
apologies, sweet ladies. It appears
that I’ve gone and shattered
another one of your window panes
again.
He holds up a bloody shard of glass and smiles.

Six of them, in fact. Dear me, I’ve
been ever so clumsy lately. I shall
pay for them, of course.
MAUDE
Nonsense, Mr. Babcock! You’re a
guest of our household! You’ll pay
for no such thing.
Henrietta gapes at Maude, who scowls back at her. Mr. Babcock

nods politely at Maude.
HENRIETTA
(To him)
But if you’re handy with a trowel
and some putty, perhaps…
He aims the shard of glass at her.
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm?
HENRIETTA
I... Well, nevermind.
MR. BABCOCK
(Pleasantly)
My dear Ms. Elenore. Might I have a
word with you perhaps? (With a hint
of menace) Alone.
ELENORE
Of... of course, my lord.
She exits. He starts to follow.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Babcock?
MR. BABCOCK
Yes?
49.
HENRIETTA
(Noticing the sunny
windows)
Is it... raining out?
He shakes water off his hat and coat.
MR. BABCOCK
Why no, Miss Henrietta. It’s a
perfectly pleasant day.
He smiles and exits, holding the large shard of glass behind

his back.
HENRIETTA
I think there’s something off about
him.
MAUDE
(Confused, as if she’s
only just now met him)
Oh? He seems like a perfect
gentleman to me.
HENRIETTA
He’s very clumsy.
MAUDE
Hmm, I hadn’t noticed.
HENRIETTA
He’s not at all like his uncle.
Chet was a gallant man. A...
regular lothario. I daresay that
charm was not passed down through
his brother’s lineage.
MAUDE
Are we absolutely certain that
Chesterfield had a brother?
HENRIETTA
Hmm?
MAUDE
I remember your engagement
distinctly. You could not have
married Chesterfield, due to his
betrothal, so we found you Edgar
Dumpy, the milliner’s son instead.
Why didn’t Sir Chesterfield’s
brother seek you out, if he was...?
50.
HENRIETTA
No, no, no, I’m sure of it. He was
in the navy for a time. I...
believe. While Chet and I were
friends. His name was Thomas. Sir
Thomas Winnifred Babcock. Captain
of the Royal Navy. I never had the
chance to meet him, of course,
but... Chet would tell me tales of
his adventures rather often.
According to Marvin, though, he’s
never met his father neither.
MAUDE
And don’t you find that odd?
HENRIETTA
What? No. Lots of men die off
before their children get to meet
them. I think it’s tragic, of
course, but... certainly not odd.
Elenore re-enters, with a confused look on her face.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Well? What did Mr. Babcock say?
ELENORE
He... asked me for my hand in
marriage.
HENRIETTA
Oh?
She and Maude share a knowing glance.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Well then. Why do you look so
troubled?
ELENORE
Because it wasn’t to him. It was to
Mr. Fennimore, up in town.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Fen-? The undertaker?!?
ELENORE
Yes. Apparently he’s desired me for
quite some time now. And so he’s
asked Mr. Babcock to be the go-
between.
51.
HENRIETTA
(Disgusted)
Mr. Fennimore desires you?
ELENORE
Well, that’s... what he’s told me
anyway.
HENRIETTA
But why on earth would Mr.
Babcock...?
Mr. Babcock enters.
MR. BABCOCK
Yes?
HENRIETTA
Why on earth are you proposing
marriage to my daughter on another
man’s behalf?
Mr. Babcock bows.
MR. BABCOCK
It’s what I do, madam.
HENRIETTA
It’s... What do you mean that’s
what you do?
MR. BABCOCK
And it wasn’t a proposal, actually.
As much as it was a sacred vow.
The women all look at each other.
HENRIETTA
And what on earth do you mean by
that?
MR. BABCOCK
I mean that I have sworn an oath to
give your daughter’s hand to Mr.
Fennimore in marriage.
HENRIETTA
What?
ELENORE
Mama?
HENRIETTA
But, why on earth would...?
52.
Mr. Babcock steps menacingly close to her, with the shard of

glass still in his hand. She sits.
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm?
HENRIETTA
What... gives you the right to make
decisions for our family, Mr.
Babcock? When you are but a guest?
MR. BABCOCK
Am I? You see, you keep using this
word “guest”, madam, as if it meant
something. But in truth, I find it
quite insulting.
HENRIETTA
In... In what way?
MR. BABCOCK
In what way?
ELENORE
In what way is that insulting? Are
you not our guest?
MR. BABCOCK
A guest must be invited, Mistress
Dumpy. A guest must be welcomed in
with open arms. But if I recall
correctly, I had to force my way
inside. I had to break your bloody
window, if I’m not mistaken. Oh no,
I am an intruder, Lady Elenore. I
daresay, I am not your guest at
all.
ELENORE
But we gave you our permission...
MR. BABCOCK
Did you? No, I seem to recall you
gave me acquiescence. But did you
really have a choice? Two widows
and a spinster. Whose face is all
mangled with the devil’s poxy? No,
what choice had you at all? Your
men have squandered their
abundance, and left you desperate
and absurd. You saw a handsome chap
in your twilight hour of despair,
and you became enamored.
(MORE)
53.

Not that I can blame you. I am
rather stunning, after all. But was
it my appearance, or my charms, or
merely my pretense of money that
drew you in? And, after all, what
could you have done? Could you have
asked me to depart? Escorted me
outside? Or would that be impolite?
And surely you can’t imagine I
would leave – not without a show of
force? But you haven’t any
servants. Not a weapon on the
grounds. And what good are those
weak, pathetic arms of yours
against a virile, brutish man like
me?
ELENORE
(Threateningly)
We have a hatchet in the woodshed!
MR. BABCOCK
Oh? Well, do you now? I thank you
Lady Elenore. I shall procure it
instantly.
He starts to exit. Henrietta shoots Elenore a look. Maude

rolls her eyes.

Oh, but one more thing before I
leave – please don’t bar the door
against me while I’m gone. I shall
only shatter more windows to regain
my entrance. And the house is
getting rather drafty, don’t you
think?
He exits. Henrietta touches her chest in worry.
HENRIETTA
Oh. Well, I never!
MAUDE
Puh. I told you he was up to no
good.
HENRIETTA
No, you told him not to pay for the
windows that he’s shattered! Now
how on earth will we repair the
damage that he’s inflicted?
54.
ELENORE
(Panicked)
Mother?
Both women look at her.
HENRIETTA
Hmm? Yes, dear?
ELENORE
Do I really have to marry Mr.
Fennimore?
HENRIETTA
Oh. No dear. Mr. Babcock is surely
playing a jape of some kind, some
unfunny lark at our expense, and
we’ll sort everything out, I
promise.
She looks around.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
But in the meantime, why is
everything wet?
ELENORE
I don’t believe he’s playing a
game, mama. I believe he means it.
HENRIETTA
Oh nonsense. Mr. Babcock has no
jurisdiction over our family’s...
The door kicks open violently, as Mr. Babcock enters with the
hatchet.
ALL THREE LADIES

Oh! Oh dear! Oh my! (Etc)
MR. BABCOCK
What are you three blathering on
about now?
HENRIETTA
Oh. I... You see... Well... (To
Elenore) Mr. Fennimore’s a handsome
man, really. When you get right
down to it. I... suppose there are
worse men that you could marry.
She smiles at Mr. Babcock.

55.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Isn’t that right, Mr. Babcock?
He sneers.
QUICK CUT:
EXT. FARMHOUSE. DAY.
A farmer cuts off a chicken’s head with a hatchet.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. ELENORE’S BEDROOM. THAT EVENING.

ELENORE sits in a lovely white dress, combing her hair in
front of a mirror. She sings softly to herself.
ELENORE
Stranded on the river’s pier,
The land behind is waning.
The sun will cry a thousand tears,
The drops will feel like raining.
But never in a million years,
Will I begin complaining.
For I survived the waterfall
And I traversed the ocean,
I’ve made it through the mighty
squall
With nary an emotion.
I shall not weep my lot at all,
I shall not cause commotion.
But I shall be the epitome
Of complacency and devotion.
She breaks down into tears. MAUDE enters.
MAUDE
Is that your grandfather’s song?
ELENORE
(Wiping her eyes)
Oh! Grandmama! I’m... sorry. I did
not realize anyone was listening.
MAUDE crosses to a chair and sits.
MAUDE
He used to sing that back in the
army with his fellow toms. It was a
marching tune, not a...
(MORE)
56.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
(Trailing off) It was supposed to
keep the gentlemen in line, you
see, as a... motivation. Very
different than the way you sang it
now, which was... charming, by the
way. Back then, he was fighting in
the Hundred Day’s War against that
short buffoon – what was his name?
Nimpoleon? Something or other.
Well, on the hundred and first day,
he was still singing that god-awful
tune, lord bless him. The midget
had been exiled, and here I was,
still tortured by my husband’s
painful caterwauling.
She chuckles to herself.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
I forbade him ever to sing that
song in the house again, so I can’t
imagine how you’ve heard it.
ELENORE
He used to sing it to me at bedtime
to help me sleep. I think it’s the
only song he knew.
MAUDE
(Scowling)
Yes, I suppose it was. Well, at
least someone has fond memories of
it.
Maude pats Elenore’s knee.
ELENORE
Grandmama?
MAUDE
Hmm?
ELENORE
Were you... frightened when you
married grandpapa?
MAUDE
Frightened? Oh no, my dear. Bitter,
perhaps. A little angry at your
great-grandparents, I suppose. But
frightened? No. Your grandfather
was a very gentle man. A... little
too gentle, if you know what I
mean.
57.
She makes a flamboyant gesture.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
But he gave me no cause for alarm.
ELENORE
Er... What do you mean, grandmama?
MAUDE
Oh nothing, dear. Just the
ramblings of a foolish old woman,
is all. Pay me no mind.
ELENORE
I see.
Maude studies her.
MAUDE
Are you frightened, dear child?
ELENORE
Yes. I... A little. What if he...?
MAUDE
Oh, don’t worry about that, my
dear. Don’t worry at all. I’m
certain Mr. Fennimore’s seen some
pretty horrible things as an
undertaker. I have no doubt he’ll
be fine with your complexion.
ELENORE
Oh. But... I wasn’t even worried
about that. I was...
MAUDE
What?
ELENORE
Oh, n-nevermind. I was just
frightened for you, and... mama.
Here alone with Mr. Babcock when I
leave, and... there’s no telling
what mischief he might cause.
I’ve... never met a man like him
before. So... brutal. So virile.
And all this time I thought he
loved me, and I... still can’t
figure out why. Why would he
mislead me so, and... call me
beautiful? And... lovely. No one’s
ever called me beautiful before.
And... the way he kissed me. He...
(MORE)
58.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
What kind of monster would do such
a thing?
Maude snores, loudly. Elenore sighs.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Oh, grandmama.
She touches Maude’s arm and kisses her forehead.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
You rest now. Lord knows you
deserve it.
Maude stirs.
MAUDE
Huh? What?
ELENORE
I said “Lord knows you deserve your
rest.”
MAUDE
Oh no, dear, I’ll get all the rest
I’ll need when I’m dead. But right
now, I’ve got plenty of living left
to do.
She nods, sleepily.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
Plenty of... living... left to do.
Maude drifts off to sleep again. Elenore smiles and pats her
arm.
ELENORE
Yes you do.
Elenore sits back at the mirror and continues prepping her

hair, as she sings.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
She stands, and the cadence of the song slowly morphs into a
military march.
59.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Slowly at first, but building to the end, she begins marching

around the room, using Maude’s cane as a musket on her
shoulder.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
squall
Of complacency and devotion!
She salutes the ceiling.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. THE NEXT AFTERNOON.
All characters are in the sitting room, including MR.

FENNIMORE, the undertaker. He is a lower class fellow of very
few words. What he does speak comes out with a thick Cockney
accent. He appears ominous. ELENORE wears the same white
dress from the previous scene. MR. BABCOCK sits with the
hatchet across his knees. He appears as though he’s aged a
dozen years since yesterday.
HENRIETTA
(Unconvincingly)
Well, I... do thank you for seeing
us so quickly, Mr. Fennimore.
He nods.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
But I'm afraid we have no dowry to
offer you. We... When my father
died, he...
MR. BABCOCK
You can have their estate, Mr.
Fennimore. The entire estate.
(Directly at the women) Pigs and
all.
60.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Babcock! My word! What gives
you the authority to...?
He stands, holding the axe.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Oh yes. You can have the estate.
The entire estate. Pigs and all.
What a novel idea.
ELENORE
But mother, where will you live?
You and grandmama?
MAUDE
Puh. I'll be dead before he kicks
me out.
HENRIETTA
Perhaps Mr. Fennimore will be kind
enough to let us live with you?
As... well... the mother of the
bride and such?
MR. BABCOCK
Mr. Fennimore? The house will be
yours at that point. What say you
to this arrangement?
MR. FENNIMORE
(Shrugging)
Aye.
HENRIETTA
Oh why, thank you. Mr. Fennimore!

Thank you. You are... most kind.
Most kind, indeed. (Nervously) Now
Eleonore, my dear. Tell me. Does
this match please you?
ELENORE
(Annoyed)
Does it please you, mama?
HENRIETTA
(Turning away from them
with tears in her eyes)
Oh! Your happiness is all that I
desire, child. You know this.
61.
ELENORE
Mr. Babcock. You’ve made promises
to me, you know. When you first
arrived. You told me I was
beautiful.
MR. BABCOCK
And Mr. Fennimore agrees with me.
Do you not, Mr. Fennimore?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye, she's fair enough.
HENRIETTA
Fair enough?! And you don't mind
her... strange complexion?
MR. FENNIMORE
Why should I? I can’t make babies
wif’ her face, now, can I?
HENRIETTA
Oh! Well then. You're not at all
the man I thought you were, Mr.
Fennimore.
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye? And wha’ kind of man is tha’?
HENRIETTA
A good man. A kind-hearted man. The
kind who... fancied me perhaps?
Who’d like to dance the
Varsouvienne to an omaggio
dolcissimo on the pianoforte with
me?
MR. FENNIMORE
I don’ even know if those are
words, Mrs. Dumpy. Besides, you’re
too old. I can’t make babies wif’
your dried up uterus, neither.
HENRIETTA
(Gasping)
Oh. Well then. Good day, sir.
She exits. Elenore stands.
ELENORE
Marvin. Will you allow my mother to
be spoken to in such a manner? In
her own home, no less?
62.
MR. BABCOCK
It won't be her home after you
marry him, my dear.
ELENORE
Well then, I shall never marry him!
Nor you. Nor any man who views
women in such contempt! (To Mr.
Fennimore) And you can go and make
babies with the pigs for all I
care!
She storms off. Maude cackles.
MR. FENNIMORE
Bloody ‘ell. Wha’ crawled up ‘er
crack an’ died this evenin’?
MR. BABCOCK
She’ll be back. (To MAUDE) And just
what are you so happy about?
MAUDE
You're all feeble minded! The
entire lot of you! (Still laughing)
And you may think that I don’t
recognize you, Mr. Babcock, but I
do. Oh yes, I remember you clear as
day. And you too, Mr. Fennimore!
You both think me an old foolish
woman, now don’t you? But you’re
just a bunch of old wolves from
back in the day. Oh yes, you've
known each other for quite some
now, haven't you? Yes, I dare say
you have. And quite a team you two
make. Quite a team indeed. (To Mr.
Babcock) One corrupts the lives of
innocents, (To Mr. Fennimore) and
the other one finishes the job. But
if you believe my granddaughter
will be as easy to corrupt as her
mother was, “Marvin”, then you are
quite mistaken. Oh yes. And you
too, Mr. Fennimore. You may think
you’ve outfoxed us all with your
clever ruse, but you've both met
your match in Elenore Dumpy, I can
assure you of that. And as for you,
Sir Marvin... Pah! “Sir”, my left
foot. You’re no more a “sir” than I
am the queen of England! You’ve
chosen the wrong household to
return to, my dear boy.
(MORE)
63.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
You left here many, many years ago,
and I daresay you’ll rue the day
you ever decided to return. My
granddaughter... Oh yes, my
granddaughter will make you wish
you had never been born. A “sir”.
Ha! You wouldn’t be “sir” if the
Queen Mother knighted you herself.
“Sir”.
She cackles loudly, then shakes her head, and exits.
MR. FENNIMORE
Now wha’ in the bloody ‘ell was
tha’ old biddy chirpin’ about?
MR. BABCOCK
(Annoyed)
Never you mind. Stay here. And for
God's sake, save the baby making
talk for after you're married!
He exits.
MR. FENNIMORE
Bah. The dead never gimme ‘alf as
much trouble as the live ones do.
He sits.
FADE TO:
INT. KITCHEN. AFTERNOON.
HENRIETTA stares into space, as ELENORE enters.
ELENORE
I’m sorry, mama. That they ever
spoke to you in such a manner.
Their behavior. It’s abhorrent. I
don’t understand how one could ever
tolerate such creatures!?
Henrietta snaps out of her daze, momentarily.
HENRIETTA
Hmm? What creatures, my dear?
ELENORE
(With venom)
Men.
Henrietta smiles and takes her hands.

64.
HENRIETTA
Oh. My dear child. Men are like
eggs. If you leave them in the
water too long, they can become
hard and unmalleable. Or they can
be soft and tender, if... (Fondly)
you break them early enough. But
Mr. Babcock appears to have been
left out in the sun too long. He’s
turned rotten.
ELENORE
And Mr. Fennimore?
HENRIETTA
Oh. I think his brains have become
scrambled. From meddling with that
vagabond in there. But they do not
represent all men, you know. Your
father was kind. And... your
grandfather was...
She makes a flamboyant gesture.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Well, you know.
ELENORE
No, I don’t know! Why does everyone
keep implying something about my
grandpapa that I don’t understand?
HENRIETTA
Well, that’s because you don’t pay
attention, my dear. Important
details seem to... slip on by you.
ELENORE
Such as?
HENRIETTA
Such as Mr. Babcock’s flirtations
with you, for one. Didn’t you sense
that they were... disingenuous?
ELENORE
No! I... Why would I assume...?
HENRIETTA
Because your face, my child. You’re
not the type of girl that... men
could ever fall in love with, I’m
afraid. Oh, they might marry you,
of course. And... procreate. But...
(MORE)
65.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
to believe that they could ever
fall in love with...
ELENORE
No! I reject that notion, mother.
HENRIETTA
Hmm?
ELENORE
There is more to me than just my
abnormalities! I have an intellect!
And... I have...
HENRIETTA
Yes, of course there is, my dear!
Of course there’s more to you than
that! And I know that. And your
grandmama knows that. And your
grandpapa knew that, when he was
alive. But... other men are...
ELENORE
(Annoyed)
What? Like eggs, mama?
HENRIETTA
Yes. And they believe that they are
the center of the universe. That we
must sit on them. And... coddle
them. And warm them when they’re
chilly. And protect their fragile
feelings from the outside elements.
She turns away from Elenore.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
I was in love with another man
once, Elenore. Before your father.
FLASHBACK.
INT. LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK’S CASTLE. DAY.
YOUNG HENRIETTA and SIR CHESTERFIELD THE YOUNGER are engaged

in coitus. It appears to be true love.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
I loved him with every fiber of my
being. I gave myself to him. I...
gave him everything I was.
Everything I... knew I was. But his
father discovered us.
66.
LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK THE ELDER barges in with his

footmen. He orders them to seize the girl. He can barely even
make eye contact, he is so disgusted.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
Lord Chesterfield Babcock the
Elder. He found us in his son’s
bedroom. Engaged in... (Trailing
off) He called me a harlot. And had
me thrust out of his castle gates
like a common street whore.
EXT. LORD CHESTERFIELD BABCOCK'S CASTLE. DAY.
YOUNG HENRIETTA is thrown brutally to the ground outside the

gates. She is wearing a slip, and little else. SIR
CHESTERFIELD THE YOUNGER appears mortified, but is terrified
of his father, so he says nothing. The footmen return to the
castle. LORD BABCOCK glares at his son. Sir Chesterfield
gives one last embarrassed look at Young Henrietta, then he
returns to the castle also, leaving her alone.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
I had no wagon with me. No... shoes
even on my feet. I had left them on
the floor in... Chet’s bedroom.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD. DAY.
YOUNG HENRIETTA stumbles along a highway, her slip tattered,

she is starved and limping.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
I had to walk. For nearly two days.
With my soles exposed. Until one of
our neighbors found me.
A carriage rolls up. An elderly gentleman, mortified, wraps a

blanket around her and guides her into the carriage.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
Took me back home the rest of the
way. That weekend, I heard the
news. That Sir Chesterfield the
Younger was... betrothed.
A royal wedding. Sir Chesterfield stands with his new bride -

LADY MARIAH ELDERVINE.
PRESENT DAY.
67.
INT. KITCHEN. EVENING.
HENRIETTA and ELENORE are talking, as before.
HENRIETTA
Your grandfather never said a word
about it. Never... treated me
unkind. Although I’m certain I
disappointed him terribly. Your
grandmama, well... She helped me to
arrange the marriage with your
father. Those were very trying
times, those days. So much...
desperation. I look back now and
wonder... What on earth did I ever
see in that beast? He could have
battled his father! He could have
wrestled off the yoke of societal
obligation, and fought his way back
to me! To my arms! To my...
bedchambers. To my soul’s desire.
But instead, he married her.
Absconded off into the distance
with my heart. What kind of person
doesn’t fight for the one he loves?
Hmm? What kind of person? It isn’t
a woman, Elenore. I can tell you
that much. Because a woman fights!
When it comes to love, a... a woman
fights.
Her eyes well up with tears.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
A woman fights. (Whispering) A
woman fights.
MAUDE enters. Henrietta stares at her sadly.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Oh not now, mama. I’m not in the
mood to fight.
Henrietta exits. Maude and Elenore share a look.
MAUDE
He was a handsome man, that
Chesterfield. A very handsome man,
indeed.
Maude shakes her head and exits. Mr. Babcock enters, with the
hatchet still in hand. He and Elenore glare at each other.
68.
A crack of thunder shakes the room and the candles nearly

blow out, but then return to normal. Neither one of them
moves for several moments.
ELENORE
No. You may scowl at me to your
pleasure, Mr. Babcock. But my heart
is mine to give. It isn’t yours.
He continues glaring at her.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
I would have given my heart to you,
you know. Your words of flattery,
and... love. The music of your
poetry hid the poison of your
meaning, and I was far too dumb to
understand it. Struck dumb by
your... elaborate deception. I may
not be a beauty, Mr. Babcock. I
know this now. Nay, I’ve known this
my entire life. But for a fleeting
instant, I believed that... For a
fleeting moment, I believed that I
had something beautiful inside of
me. Something beautiful that you,
and only you alone, could see. And
I allowed myself... For only just a
moment, I allowed myself to feel.
She glares at him.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
You don’t understand women, do you,
Mr. Babcock? You don’t understand
people of any ilk. Do you? Do you
understand what makes us human? It
is not money, or... inheritance. Or
even our fancy titles. It’s love.
The ability to love. The capacity
to love. I love my mother very
much. And my grandmother. And for a
moment... For a fleeting instant, I
believed that I loved you. But
you’ve disappointed me greatly, Mr.
Babcock. You’ve destroyed my trust
in love. This heart belonged to me.
But you’ve stolen it from me, for
just a moment. For just a fleeting,
insignificant second, in your eyes.
But knowing that my heart was ever
yours... Was ever owned by such a
cold and calculating fiend...
(MORE)
69.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
That this beating heart within my
ribs could ever flip so casually to
the whims of such as beast as you.
It makes me HATE my heart, Mr.
Babcock! It makes me HATE that I
ever loved! It makes me HATE that
this foul contraption could ever
live inside my body!
She tears her bodice open and kneels before him.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
So if you have any compassion left
inside you, Mr. Babcock! If you
have any love or kindness left
inside of you, you will split me
open with that hatchet. You will
remove the offending organ from
behind my breasts, and you will
crush my detestable heart in front
of me! Do it! Now. Once, and for
bloody all!
He touches her chest with the hatchet. He breathes deeply,

then raises it back to swing. He brings it down hard on the
kitchen counter, leaving the hatchet embedded deep within it.
He glares at her, and exits. Elenore sighs, and then begins
to weep.
SLOW FADE TO:
INT. SITTING ROOM. AFTERNOON.
MR. FENNIMORE is seated, uncomfortably. HENRIETTA re-enters

from the kitchen, sternly but politely. He stands.
MR. FENNIMORE
Ah. My Lady Dumpy.
HENRIETTA
Please. Call me Henrietta.
MR. FENNIMORE
As you wish.
HENRIETTA
Forgive me, Mr. Fennimore. But I
must know one thing before we
continue on. When you were
preparing my father for burial, did
you notice anything unusual...
about his trousers?
70.
MR. FENNIMORE
His trousers, my lady?
HENRIETTA
Yes. Any coins perhaps? Or... paper
notes stuffed within his pockets?
MR. FENNIMORE
Oh. None tha’ I can recall, my
lady.
HENRIETTA
Please. Henrietta.
MR. FENNIMORE
(Bowing)
As you wish.
HENRIETTA
So you received no... extra
benefits from my father's passing,
is this correct?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aside from my standard fee of 12
quid, my lady... no.
HENRIETTA
Please.
MR. FENNIMORE
Fine. ‘Enrie’a. But I dare say, ya
look more like an Abigail to me.
HENRIETTA
An Abigail?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. It was me mother's name. An’
ya look to be about her age and
disposition.
Henrietta gasps.
MR. FENNIMORE (CONT'D)

Around the time she died, I’m
sayin’.
HENRIETTA
Oh. Well. Then I imagine your
mother was a handsome woman.
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye, she was fair enough.
71.
HENRIETTA
(Offended)
Fair enough?! But that's what you
said about my daughter.
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye.
HENRIETTA
So, are all women to you just “fair
enough?”
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. You ‘ave to understand, my
lady. Er... Ms. ‘Enrie’a. Aye ‘ave
been a widower for nigh on twen’y
years now. I buried me own wife
back in sixty-two. I was the only
undertaker in all of Orpin’ton,
even a’ tha’ time. So I took it
upon meself to do the honors. I was
quite good a’ it too, if ya don't
mind me sayin'. Developed quite a
bit of a knack fer the thing. But
in twenty-five years of stitchin'
an’ cuttin', an’ hammerin' the
nails into the caskets, an’
washin', an’ dressin’, an’ carvin'
the ‘eadstones with me own two
‘ands, I've barely had time to even
notice the fairer sex, if ya don’
mind me sayin’. Now, it’s no’ tha’
I didn’t notice ‘em at all, mind
you. There were some what caught my
attention. Em... Ms. Arabella
Kensin’ton, f’ instance. Poor thing
died in a wishin' well. All laid
out on me table. Pretty as an angel
up in ‘eaven, she was. Minus the
bloody ‘ead wound and all. But
there she was. Naked as the day she
was born.
HENRIETTA
Oh!
MR. FENNIMORE
Oh, forgive me, my la– (Catching
himself) Er, em... Ms. ‘Enrie’a. In
my profession, I sometimes forget
the proper courtesies expected in
polite society. But there's no
polite way to say “naked”, though
is there?
(MORE)
72.

Except to come right out and say
it. “Naked”, “nude”, “withou’ a
stitch on”, “nether regions
exposed”, “the nun’s rebellion”…
Ooh, I like tha’ one. “Crocus and
begonias on full display”, “wearin’
the emperor’s new clothin’”, I
suppose the list goes on and on.
But regardless, there she was...
He remembers another word.

“Unclothed.” Yes, that’ll work.
Unclothed. See, in the last twen’y
years, Ms. ‘Enrie’a, the only
attractive women who ever give me
the time of day were the ones laid
out before me on my examination
room table. I do know tha’ it's
impolite to say what I did with ‘er
for the next two days, so I'll just
leave out the baser details for
now. But suffice to say, my
perception of the fairer sex has
been affected by my… choice of
companions over the past twenty odd
years. Beauty holds very little
sway over my affections anymore.
These days, the presence of a pulse
is quite enough fer me. Well, that,
an’ of course, the ability to
provide a son. Truth be told, Ms.
‘Enrie’a. In another lifetime, I
might ‘ave favored you. You ‘ave a
coldness about you that I find
appealing. ‘Owever it is critical
to me at this particular juncture
that I ‘ave a son. To pass on my...
estate, such as i’ is. An’ tha’ is
why my affections have turned to
your daugh’er, as of late.
HENRIETTA
(Offended)
And what if she provides a
daughter? Or... proves to be
infertile? Will you not love her
just the same?
MR. FENNIMORE
Oh come, Ms. ‘Enrie’a. What
difference does love make when it
comes to children?
(MORE)
73.

An’ besides, ‘ow can a daugh’er
provide for herself when I’m gone?
Jus’ look a’ yer own situation, Ms.
‘Enrie’a. Trapped in ‘ere withou’ a
man. You, an’ your mother, an’ your
daugh’er. You're all worthless and
alone ‘ere without a man to provide
for you. Which I am willin’ to do.
For all three of you, if you’ll
‘ave me.
HENRIETTA
I see. And what promises did you
make to Mr. Babcock to... engender
his assistance?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. Mr. Babcock and I ‘ave known
each other for a very long time,
Ms. ‘Enrie’a. Ever since ‘e was a
baby, actually. The only promise I
‘ad to make to ‘im was for a proper
burial, when the time came.
HENRIETTA
A prop-?
MR. FENNIMORE
Yes. A proper burial was all tha’
‘e required. And in exchange, ‘e
promised me a son. A new life for
an old death, ‘e told me. A passin’
of the torch to a brand new
generation, if you will.
HENRIETTA
I see. And... is Marvin really a
Babcock, Mr. Fennimore?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye, ‘e's a Babcock all righ’, Ms.
‘Enrie’a. ‘E’s most certainly a
Babcock. But not the kind of
Babcock you're thinkin’ of. Oh no.
‘E's a very differen’ kind of
Babcock entirely.
HENRIETTA
How odd. Well, I thank you for your
candor, Mr. Fennimore.
She curtsies. He nods.

74.
MR. FENNIMORE
Anytime, Ms. ‘Enrie’a.
HENRIETTA
And please. Call me “my lady.” It
sounds so much nicer with your
dialect.
She smiles and exits.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN. EARLY EVENING.
ELENORE is still on the floor, weeping. HENRIETTA enters.
HENRIETTA
Oh. My dear. What’s wrong? Is it
your menstrual?
ELENORE
No! Mama! It’s Mr. Babcock. He
nearly struck me with that hatchet!
She points to the hatchet, sticking out of the countertop.
HENRIETTA
Oh! My word. He really is a clumsy
ox, then isn’t he?!?
She studies the damage.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Oh dear. This counter’s nearly 70
years old, and he’s ruined it!
She attempts to remove the hatchet from the counter, but it

will not budge.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Unnngh! I say.
She tries again.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Well, that’s really in there, then.
(Calling out) Mr. Fennimore! Oh,
Mr. Fennimore, would you come in
here, please?
She attempts to remove the hatchet again, as MR. FENNIMORE

enters.
75.
MR. FENNIMORE
Yes?
HENRIETTA
Would you be ever so kind, good
sir, and help me remove this
hatchet, please?
MR. FENNIMORE
Blimey. ‘Ow did that get in there
so deep? (To Elenore) And why are
you on the ground?
HENRIETTA
Oh, never mind her. She’s just
overly sensitive is all.
ELENORE
Your man attempted to kill me.
HENRIETTA
Oh nonsense. He was probably just
playing a silly game with you or
something.
MR. FENNIMORE
Oh no, he’s a murderer all righ’.
I’ve seen him kill before.
HENRIETTA
You have!?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. We was comin’ from a pub near
Swanley, about three weeks ago,
when a bird come an’ dropped a big
yellow turd on Mr. Babcock’s
shoulder.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. PUB NEAR SWANLEY. EVENING.
MR. BABCOCK and MR. FENNIMORE exit the pub, chatting

pleasantly, when a bird drops a shit on Mr. Babcock’s
shoulder.
MR. FENNIMORE (V.O.)

I saw the bird wif’ me own two
eyes, mind you. But when Mr.
Babcock turned around, he saw this
ol’ biddy, must be nine’y-two years
old, hobble along the sidewalk.
76.
Mr. Babcock sees the old woman, walking with her cane. He
speaks the following lines, though we can see Mr. Babcock’s
mouth move when he’s being quoted.

“Aye!” ‘E says to ‘er. “Aye! Why’d
you throw this shit at me shoulder,
you old bitch?!” Well now, this is
what ‘e said to ‘er! An’ I tried to
tell ‘im, “Marvin...” Erm... “Mr.
Babcock” and the like. But ‘e
wouldn’ listen. ‘E jus’ kep’ on
followin’ this ol’ biddy all the
way down the street. “Why’d you
take the piss outta me?” And all
this. An’ ‘e’s just goin’ on an’ on
an’ on. An’ the whole time, I’m
trying to tell ‘im abou’ the bird,
you see. But the bird was long gone
by this time, and he keeps saying
to me, “Shut up, Mr. Fennimore.”
And “Shut up, ya big loaf.” And all
this. And ‘e keeps followin’ this
ol’ woman. And the whole time, she
keeps sayin’ “Bugger off, you!” An’
“Shove off, ya ol’ git!” And all
this. Real provocative type words,
you know? And then, finally, he
goes ta grab ‘er, and she ‘its ‘im
with ‘er cane so ‘ard, ‘e almost
falls to the ground. And I’m
thinking, “Oh blimey, I ‘ope ‘e’s
out cold, because if ‘e gets up,
there’s gonna be a murder up in
Swanley.” And sure enough, ‘e got
up. He ripped tha’ cane from ou’
tha’ ol’ woman’s hands, and ‘e beat
the bloody stuffin’ ou’ of ‘er
until there wasn’ nothin’ left but
bones. And there were pieces of her
rags and skin, floatin’ down the
cobblestone hill on the leisurely
current of ‘er blood.
PRESENT DAY.
INT. KITCHEN. EVENING.
MR. FENNIMORE
An’ I felt so guilty fer no’ tryin’
‘arder to stop ‘im, that I buried
the ol’ woman myself, free of
charge.
77.
ELENORE
(Horrified)
How awful! And did anyone come to
her funeral?
MR. FENNIMORE
Oh no. We buried her two hours
later in the ol’ churchyard, near
Eynsford. Still pitch black
outside, and no one even knew she
was gone by the time we was
finished.
ELENORE
(Sadly)
No one?
HENRIETTA
Oh my.
MR. FENNIMORE
Well see, I knew tha’ Mr. Babcock
was only actin’ out of impulse,
really. An’ I didn’t want to see
the boy swingin’ by ‘is neck for
just a momentary lapse of
reasonin’, you know?
Henrietta and Elenore share a look.
HENRIETTA
Yes. How dreadful. (Quickly) Now
please. Can you help me remove this
hatchet before he returns?
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. I’d hate to do another
midnigh’ burial tonigh’. And he’s
in an awful temper. No tellin’ wha’
might ‘appen if we don’...
He attempts to remove the hatchet, but it will not budge.

If we don’...
He attempts again.

Unnnghh. There’s no tellin’ wha’
migh’ ‘appen if we don’...
He attempts again.
78.

Unnngh! Cor blimey! This thing’s in
deeper than an Irish priest at a
Maypole parade!
ELENORE
Here. Let me try.
She removes the hatchet easily, with zero effort. They all
stare at her, surprised.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Well, come on then. Let’s go find
him.
Elenore exits. Henrietta stares at Mr. Fennimore.

MR. FENNIMORE
Well, I loosened it for ‘er.
They follow Elenore.
CUT TO:
INT. ELENORE’S BEDROOM. EARLY EVENING.
MAUDE sits at the mirror, combing her hair and singing, like
ELENORE did earlier.
MAUDE
For I survived the water–
MR. BABCOCK enters. She sees him in the mirror, and stops
singing.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
I knew you’d come.
He takes one step closer. She turns, and he stops.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
The last time I saw you, you were
dead.
He takes another step.

79.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
When we gave your body to Mr.
Fennimore, you were dead.
MR. BABCOCK
Never dead. Only dreaming.
MAUDE
Ah. Then those were the solemnest
dreams I’d ever witnessed. And for
an infant to...
He takes another step. She aims a sharp letter opener at him.
MAUDE (CONT'D)
For an infant to dream that
deeply...
MR. BABCOCK
You knew that I was breathing.
MAUDE
I knew nothing of the sort. I’m not
even certain that you’re breathing
now.
Mr. Babcock chuckles.
MR. BABCOCK
And what else would I be doing?
MAUDE
(Nonchalantly)
Scheming. Haunting my dreams and
terrorizing my guilty soul.
MR. BABCOCK
Ah. So then you do have a guilty
soul?
MAUDE
I must. Or else you wouldn’t be
here, yes?
Mr. Babcock steps closer to her.
MR. BABCOCK
Perhaps yes. Perhaps no.
Maude swings the letter opener at him, but misses. Mr.

Babcock smiles.
80.

Did my father ever see me? Did he
even know that I was born?
He grabs her wrist and wrestles the blade away from her. She
cries out.

Or did you lie to him as well?
He continues holding her wrist.
MAUDE
Ahh!
MR. BABCOCK
Did your own daughter even know
that I was born?
Maude shakes her head no.

Your husband?
After a beat, Maude nods.

And that is why you killed him,
too, yes? Because grandfather
Benedict figured it out...
FLASHBACK.
EXT. WOODSHED. EARLY MORNING.
MAUDE and BENEDICT are arguing near the woodshed. He grabs

her wrist, and a look of anger darts across her eyes. A
moment later, Benedict is lying dead as ELENORE approaches
the body with her bucket of eggs.
PRESENT DAY.
INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Maude glares, as Mr. Babcock releases her. She rubs her

wrist.
MAUDE
How did you know...?
He whispers in her ear.

81.
MR. BABCOCK
I’m an apparition, remember? I’m
only in your conscience. Here to
haunt you, yes? I know all of your
deepest, darkest secrets, Lady
Maude Bantam of the Rosecomb line.
And I’ve come to collect my due.
The door busts open, and ELENORE enters, holding the hatchet,
followed by HENRIETTA and MR. FENNIMORE.
ELENORE
Mr. Babcock! What are you doing in
my room?! And grandmama. Are you
all right?
MR. BABCOCK
Ah. Mistress Elenore. I see you’ve
procured my instrument. If you’ll
kindly hand it over, I may complete
my business.
ELENORE
No.
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm. I see you were never taught to
be obedient. Mr. Fennimore, grab
that hatchet, would you please?
Mr. Fennimore looks at the hatchet, then at Mr. Babcock.
MR. FENNIMORE
I’m afraid I can’ do tha’, Mr.
Babcock. She yanked i’ outta tha’
bloody counter all by ‘er lonesome,
fair an’ square. By all right’s an’
purposes, i’ belongs to ‘er now.
MR. BABCOCK
All right, fine. Then I shall teach
her how to obey me all by my
lonesome. For God’s sakes, why does
it always take a man to teach a
woman how to exhibit womanly
virtues?
He grabs Maude by the hair and holds the letter opener to her
throat. Maude cries out.
ELENORE
Grandmama!
82.
HENRIETTA
Mr. Babcock! Honestly! Now this has
gone beyond the pale!
MR. BABCOCK
The hatchet. Now!
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. Now listen, Marvin. I’m no’
really dressed in my burial
clothin’ tonigh’, an’ I can’ be
diggin’ up no six foot graves on
accoun’ of your impulses!
MR. BABCOCK
Shut up, you big loaf! Now Elenore!
Hand me that bloody hatchet right
this instant, or I shall carve a
bloody frown into your grandmama’s
precious neck.
MAUDE
Don’t give it to him, darling! Save
yourselves! He’ll only kill you
with it next!
Mr. Babcock cuts her, and she cries out, as she falls.
HENRIETTA
Mama!
Mr. Babcock aims the letter opener at the others, as Maude

struggles to breathe, with blood dripping through her
fingers.
MR. BABCOCK
If you want to save her, you’ll do
as I command. The hatchet. Hand it
over. Now!
ELENORE
And what’s to stop you from using
it on us, next?
HENRIETTA
Oh, maybe you should just give it
to him, dear.
MR. BABCOCK
Well, I suppose you’ll just have to
trust me then, won’t you?
He steps towards her, menacingly.

83.
ELENORE
No, I’ve already trusted you once,
Mr. Babcock! It won’t happen again.
She swings the hatchet at him, and it sticks in his arm. He

cries out.
MR. BABCOCK
AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGHHH!!!
HENRIETTA
Elenore! My god, child! What have
you done?!?
Mr. Babcock tries to stab Elenore with the letter opener in

his good hand, but she continues holding onto the hatchet,
and every time she tries to yank it out of his arm, it ends
up turning him closer towards her, which makes her have to
move in order to avoid being stabbed. This repeats several
times, leading to an almost comedic ballet, as the others
have to back away from them.
MR. BABCOCK
(In pain)
Stop! Moving!
ELENORE
Mama! Quick! See to grandmama!
Please!
HENRIETTA
Oh! Yes! Of course.
MR. FENNIMORE
Mr. Babcock, I can tell this isn’t
the right time, but...
MR. BABCOCK
Shut up, and help me, you idiot!
Unable to reach Elenore, Mr. Babcock has started punching the

hatchet handle, in an effort to get it out of his arm.
Elenore continues the ballet. Suddenly, Mr. Fennimore grabs
Mr. Babcock’s wrist – the one holding the letter opener.
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. Now I aim to make ‘er my
fiancée an’ I won’ let you kill ‘er
before I do, you understand me?
MR. BABCOCK
(Incredulous)
Your fiancée? But she’s hideous!
84.
With that, Elenore yanks the hatchet out of Mr. Babcock’s

arm. He screams, and she uses the butt of the hatchet to
whack him in the face. Blood rushes out his nose, as he falls
to the ground.
ELENORE
Yeah? Now welcome to my world, Mr.
Babcock!
HENRIETTA
(Panicked)
Elenore!
ELENORE
What?
HENRIETTA
Mama, she’s...
Elenore rushes to her side.
ELENORE
Grandmama. Are you all right?
MAUDE
(Struggling to speak)
Stran-
She coughs, and clutches her throat.
ELENORE
Grandmama please. It’s ok. You
don’t have...
MAUDE
(Still struggling)
Stran-ded on... the river’s...
pier...
She coughs.
HENRIETTA
What is she saying?
MAUDE
The land... behind... is waning...
ELENORE
Oh my gosh, she’s singing.
HENRIETTA
What?
85.
ELENORE
The song! Grandpapa’s song! From
the army!
Elenore sings.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Maude acknowledges that she’s right.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
Maude closes her eyes, and passes away before the end of the
song. Elenore notices, but continues on.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
squall
Of complacency and devotion...
She weeps openly over her grandmother, as Henrietta comforts

her. Behind them, Mr. Babcock stands. He stares at them,
still bloody in the face and arm. Mr. Fennimore watches Mr.
Babcock, nervously.
MR. BABCOCK
She tried to murder me, you know.
On the day that I was born.
FLASHBACK.
INT. SITTING ROOM. 22 YEARS AGO. DAY.
Younger MAUDE rocks a baby in her arms, and sings to it.

Then, she looks around and completes the following actions.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

She shoved a napkin inside my
throat, and pinched my nose closed
with her two fingers.
86.
Maude continues to rock and sing to the child as she does

this.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

My body turned pale, then blue. And
then cold.
PRESENT DAY.
Mr. Babcock points at Henrietta.
MR. BABCOCK
And you knew all about it.
HENRIETTA
(Still in shock from
Maude’s death)
What?
MR. BABCOCK
I was your child. Yours and
(dismissively) Sir Chesterfield the
Younger. But, on the day that I was
born... She gave me to Mr.
Fennimore to dispose of.
FLASHBACK.
MAUDE approaches MR. FENNIMORE with a swaddled baby in her

arms. She gives it to him discreetly and whispers something
to him.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

But Mr. Fennimore didn’t bury me,
though, did he? Oh no, he kept me.
Preserved inside a mason jar.
Inside his cabinet.
Mr. Fennimore holds the baby in his arms, cooing over it, as
he prepares a jar full of chemicals. Then, he kisses the baby
on its forehead and slowly places it inside the jar. He
sighs, then rests the jar on a shelf in his cabinet.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

And there I lived. And fed. And
grew. The malice. And the hate.
Within my heart.
PRESENT DAY.
87.
MR. BABCOCK
(To Henrietta)
For you. (To Maude) And her.
He kneels down next to Elenore.

And even you, dear sister. Though I
understand far more than most, the
depravity of blaming an innocent
child for the malfeasances of its
mother.
He stands.

But there I festered, inside that
jar. Until one day...
FLASHBACK.
MR. FENNIMORE lays out BENEDICT’s body on his table. He has a

wound on his belly.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

Your grandpapa showed up, in dear
old Mr. Fennimore’s shop. He and I
had had many conversations over the
years. Mr. Fennimore. He, at his
operating table, and I... in my
tiny glass womb in the cabinet.
Montage of Mr. Fennimore working on various clients as the

baby seems to be watching him from the cabinet. Throughout,
Mr. Fennimore appears to be having conversations with the
baby.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

But something about your
grandfather’s blood. Spilling out
before me.
As Fennimore operates on Benedict, his hands slips and a

spatter of blood hits the glass jar. Something mysterious
appears to be happening to the jar.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

Something... different... happened
that day.
88.
Sounds of the glass cracking.
PRESENT DAY.
MR. BABCOCK
For you see, your grandfather
didn’t die of old age. Or of some
sad disease.
He picks up the letter opener.

Oh no, it was a letter opener,
shoved deep into his abdomen. On a
cold autumn day, out by the
woodshed.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. WOODSHED. EARLY MORNING.
BENEDICT grabs MAUDE angrily. She glares at him, and then

stabs him with a letter opener. He falls and she seems to be
almost remorseful, but then she hears a noise, and steps
back, hiding in the woodshed. She looks through a crack, and
sees ELENORE holding a bucket of eggs and staring at her
grandfather’s legs. She appears to be worried.
After Elenore runs off, Maude slips out and runs.
MAUDE hands MR. FENNIMORE a considerable sum. She looks

worried as she does.
MR. BABCOCK (V.O.)

And your grandmama paid Mr.
Fennimore a visit the very same
day. Along with 10,000 pounds for
his silence.
PRESENT DAY.
MR. BABCOCK
Now how much did you say your
estate was worth, Mistress Dumpy?
HENRIETTA
I don’t believe you.
89.
MR. BABCOCK
Then how do you think I could
afford such beautiful clothing,
mother? After all, I live in a
mason jar. And Mr. Fennimore...
Well, Mr. Fennimore is a rich man
now. And he desires an heir. He’s
not a young man though. And I’m
afraid he has a touch of the gout
in his left leg. And a bit more
than a touch in his right. So we’ll
have to move rather quickly on this
one. So what do you say, Elenore?
You can win back your entire
family’s estate with two words: “I
do.” So do you, or would you rather
it all fell to ruin?
ELENORE
And what’s in it for you, Mr.
Babcock? Er... Marvin?
HENRIETTA
(Whispering)
A burial.
ELENORE
Hmm?
HENRIETTA
Mr. Fennimore promised to bury him.
Properly. Finally. If he would help
him secure a son.
Mr. Babcock nods at Mr. Fennimore. Henrietta stands.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
I never knew that you’d survived,
Marvin. I was told that you had
died in childbirth.
She starts to cry.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
I never even named you because...
it was too hard.
Mr. Fennimore steps forward.
MR. FENNIMORE
I named ‘im. I always though’ tha’
if I ‘ad a son, I’d like to name
‘im Marvin. You see, I ‘ad a cousin
named Marvin up in Wales.
(MORE)
90.

Marvin Penburie. ‘E used to wrestle
sheep. No’ for any particular
reason, mind you. ‘E just liked to
wrestle sheep. Anyway, I told your
mother abou’ tha’, when she came to
visit.
FLASHBACK.
After MAUDE hands him the baby, MR. FENNIMORE tries to tell
her something, and she waves him away, mouthing, “Fine, fine.
Do as you wish.” Then, she exits.

An’ she said that that would be
fine. So... I put ‘im in the glass
jar along with some chemicals, and
I named ‘im Marvin.
Mr. Fennimore stares proudly at the jar on his shelf.
PRESENT DAY.
HENRIETTA
And my mother said that would be
fine?!?
MR. FENNIMORE
Well... not the jar part with the
chemicals, per se. I did that after
she left.
HENRIETTA
(Disgusted)
I see.
MR. BABCOCK
(To Henrietta)
And you never once thought to ask
where I was buried?
HENRIETTA
No. Marvin, please. You have to
understand. I was so in love with
your father. Massively. Deeply.
Passionately in love with him.
But... then he broke my heart.
And... then when you died, I...
wanted to die, as well. I don’t
remember that entire year of my
life, Marvin. I...
91.
She points to Elenore.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
At some point in April, I married
her father, but I don’t even recall
the dress that I was wearing.
FLASHBACK.
EXT. WEDDING SERVICE. DAY.
HENRIETTA is marrying EDGAR DUMPY, but she looks utterly

lost. It is clear that her smile is carefully practiced, but
not at all authentic.
HENRIETTA (V.O.)
I just did as I was told. Just like
a good English woman is supposed to
do.
PRESENT DAY.
HENRIETTA
And I am ever so grateful for my
daughter, but I would have been
grateful for you as well. You must
know this, Marvin. You have to
believe me.
She tries to hug him, but he aims the letter opener at her.
MR. BABCOCK
On the contrary, mother. I don’t
have to believe anything. But. If
you can convince Elenore to marry
Mr. Fennimore, then perhaps,
finally, I can be put to rest. If
that occurs, then... perhaps your
guilty conscience may be put to
rest, as well.
ELENORE
I’ll do it.
MR. BABCOCK
Hmm?
ELENORE
I’ll marry him. (To Mr. Fennimore)
Mr. Fennimore. Good sir. Although I
am not that fond of you, at
present, I also understand that I
am no great beauty.
(MORE)
92.
ELENORE (CONT'D)
And I do believe that marrying you
will do more good than harm in this
world. And therefore... if you’ll
have me, then I will consent to
marry you.
MR. FENNIMORE
Aye. That’s very nice to ‘ear, Ms.
Elenore. Bu’... I’m afraid I ‘ave a
confession to make as well. After
all the time we’ve been
communicatin’, I’ve been finding
myself growin’ more and more
attracted to your mother, instead
of you.
HENRIETTA
Oh! Mr. Fennimore!
ELENORE
(Confused)
What?
MR. FENNIMORE
Now, I know she’s too old to give
me a son. But... after watching Mr.
Babock’s behavior, (To Elenore) and
watchin’ yours, my lady, I believe
tha’ I’d much prefer a daugh’er
after all. If i’ don’ upset you too
much, Ms. Elenore. Or you either,
Ms. ‘Enrie’a... then I’d like to
ask for your ‘and in marriage.
He kneels before Henrietta.

Will you, Ms. ‘Enrie’a Dumpy,
despite being still alive, consen’
to be my bride?
HENRIETTA
I... I do.
ELENORE
Wait. Am I being rejected twice in
one day?!?
HENRIETTA
Oh, sweetheart. Why does everything
have to be about you?!?
93.
MR. BABCOCK
But now, what about your estate?
The one that you kept going on and
on and on about?! By god, for the
last six weeks, man, you’ve talked
about nothing but this bloody
estate!
MR. FENNIMORE
Well, I’ll jus’ ‘ave to leave the
estate to Ms. Elenore, of course.
Or to her family, if she ever
decides to ‘ave one.
Henrietta and Elenore share a glance.
MR. BABCOCK
You disappoint me, Mr. Fennimore.
You disappoint me deeply.
MR. FENNIMORE
(Clapping him on the
wounded shoulder)
Oh come now, Mr. Babcock. I’ll
still consen’ to bury you, of
course. With the las’ rites an’
everythin’. An’ this time, you’ll
even ‘ave witnesses. (To the
ladies) If you choose to, of
course.
HENRIETTA
Of course.
ELENORE
Yes. Anything.
MR. BABCOCK
(To himself)
Ugh. My own mother. Copulating with
Mr. Fennimore. (To her) Mother, if
you had seen half the things that I
have seen from inside that jar,
then I am certain you would feel
very differently right now. But...
Elenore was right. I do not
understand people. Then again, how
could I? (To Henrietta) I was not
raised among you, thanks to your
dear mama. So... if this decision
will satisfy our bargain, Mr.
Fennimore, then I wish you all the
best with everything.
(MORE)
94.

And you too, Mother. (To Elenore)
Miss Elenore. If you would do the
honors.
He points to the hatchet, kneels and closes his eyes.
ELENORE
What?
MR. FENNIMORE
I think ‘e wants you to murder ‘im.
ELENORE
But I...
MR. BABCOCK
Your grandmother murdered me 22
years ago. Tonight I returned the
favor. I simply need you to finish
what she started.
ELENORE
But... but you’re my brother.
MR. BABCOCK
I am a 7 pound infant in a jar.
I’ve spent the last 22 years
swimming in formaldehyde. I can
assure you, death will be a
blessing.
ELENORE
But... but how are you here?
MR. BABCOCK
I cannot explain the mysteries of
the universe, Elenore. I can only
state that I am tired, and I wish
to be asleep. Now please. Help me
be at rest.
ELENORE
But Mr. Fennimore’s the undertaker.
Surely he...
MR. FENNIMORE
I tried to lif’ the ‘atchet, bu’ i’
would no’ budge for me.
HENRIETTA
Nor me either, Elenore. The task
must fall to you.
Sadly, Elenore picks up the hatchet.

95.
HENRIETTA (CONT'D)
Mr. Babcock, wait.
MR. BABCOCK
Yes?
HENRIETTA
Why did you only torment me, and...
not your father?
MR. BABCOCK
The men never suffer from
childbirth, my lady. Only the
women.
Henrietta nods, solemnly.

It is time.
Elenore stands over him. Light encircles her head, like a

halo.
ELENORE
Did you ever find me beautiful?
MR. BABCOCK
I find you more beautiful than any
other soul on earth.
Elenore closes her eyes and swings the hatchet. Camera pans
away, as we hear glass shattering, and liquid splashing
everywhere.
END OF FILM.

Three Ladies of Orpington

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Three Ladies of Orpington

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

THREE LADIES OF ORPINGTON

Based on the Stage Play

210 Heritage Farm Ln,

MR. FENNIMORE the undertaker is a grizzled, terrifying man.

After proceeding for several yards, the horse takes a massive

INT. SITTING ROOM. DAY. SIX WEEKS LATER.

Maude does not acknowledge her.

She stares at Elenore, expectantly. Elenore stares at her,

Elenore looks down at her tea.

Maude does not reply. Henrietta stands and crosses to the

Maude looks at Henrietta for the first time in ages. It is a

She touches Maude’s shoulder, and talks very loudly.

Henrietta begins to exit, then realizes she is alone.

Maude and Elenore share a glance.

Henrietta picks up her tea and slurps it.

She pats her daughter’s knee.

She takes both of their hands.

Maude and Elenore stare at her, amazed.

She starts towards the door.

Reluctantly, Elenore stands and follows her towards the

They turn to look at her.

They turn to exit.

They turn around again.

Elenore tries to soothe her, but Maude grows increasingly

She leans over Maude, overly enunciating.

Maude grabs Henrietta violently and pulls their faces close

A heavy door creaks open in the next room. A gust of wind

He shoves the head of the cane through his fingertips which

MR. BABCOCK (CONT'D)

He removes his wallet.

MR. BABCOCK (CONT'D)

MR. BABCOCK (CONT'D)

He removes his hat. Rain water drips from it. He bows.

MR. BABCOCK (CONT'D)

Daylight streams through the windows again, with Marvin still

Elenore begins lighting some of the candles.

MR. BABCOCK (CONT'D)

She brightens instantly.

Henrietta rushes to Maude’s side.

She gently pats Maude’s face.

Maude looks around, confused.

Maude struggles to get up. Henrietta helps her.

She sees Mr. Babcock, and trails off.

Maude gapes at him, slowly.

She waves him away and walks to her chair.

Mr. Babcock nods.

They all turn to look at her.

Henrietta shrugs at her. Mr. Babcock bows and kisses

Elenore blushes and curtsies.

They all look at her.

Maude fiddles with something in her lap. Henrietta and

Maude stops jumping for a moment.

Maude resumes jumping.

Maude stops jumping and makes a choking noise. She struggles

Elenore rushes to catch her just in time. Mr. Babcock moves

He stares at her, angrily.

Mr. Babcock eyes her up and down.

Thunder cracks. The candles blow out again. Henrietta

SLOW FADE TO:

INT. SITTING ROOM. LATE AFTERNOON.

A fire burns in the fireplace. MR. BABCOCK, alone in the

Elenore nods and starts to exit.