Day. Date.

拖延症⼈群的内⼼世界
Inside the mind of a master procrastinator
So in college, I was a government major, which means I had to
write a lot of papers. Now, when a normal student writes a
paper, they might spread the work out a little like this. So, you
know --you get started maybe a little slowly, but you get
enough done in the first week that, with some heavier days
later on,everything gets done, things stay civil. And I would
want to do that like that. That would be the plan.
上⼤学那会⼉， 我是学政务专业的， 意味着我得写很多论⽂。 当
⼀名普通的学⽣写论⽂时， 他们也许会像这样， 把任务分摊开。
所以，你明⽩—开始可能有点慢， 但是⼀个星期过后已经写了不
少， 接下来有时写的更多⼀些， 最后⼀切搞定，事情不会搞砸。
我也想这样。 ⾄少我的计划是这样。

I would have it all ready to go, but then, actually, the paper
would come along, and then I would kind of do this. And that
would happen every single paper.
我准备好开始， 然⽽，事实上，到写论⽂的时候， 我是这么做
的。⽽且每次写论⽂都这样。

But then came my 90-page senior thesis, a paper you're

supposed to spend a year on. And I knew for a paper like that,
my normal work flow was not an option. It was way too big a
project.
最后到了写90页毕业论⽂的时候， 本应该花⼀年时间去写的论
⽂。 我知道对于这样⼀篇论⽂来说， 我平常的做法⾏不通。 毕业
论⽂是个⼤项⽬。

So I planned things out, and I decided I kind of had to go

something like this. This is how the year would go. So I'd start
off light, and I'd bump it up in the middle months, and then at

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Day. Date.
the end, I would kick it up into high gear just like a little
staircase. How hard could it be to walk up the stairs? No big
deal, right?
于是我计划好， 决定这么去做。 ⼀年的⼯作就这么安排。 起初少
⼲点⼉， 中间⼏个⽉持续⼲多⼀点⼉， 最后⾼速档全⼒以赴 就像
⼩台阶⼀样。 爬台阶能有多难？ 没什么⼤不了的，对吧？

But then, the funniest thing happened. Those first few months?
They came and went, and I couldn't quite do stuff. So we had
an awesome new revised plan. And then --
但是接下来，有趣的事发⽣了。 起初那⼏个⽉？ 来了又⾛， 我基
本没⼲什么。 于是就有了这个 很棒的修改计划。再然后......

But then those middle months actually went by, and I didn't
really write words, and so we were here. And then two months
turned into one month, which turned into two weeks. And one
day I woke up with three days until the deadline, still not
having written a word, and so I did the only thing I could: I
wrote 90 pages over 72 hours, pulling not one but two all-
nighters -- humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters --
sprinted across campus, dove in slow motion, and got it in just
at the deadline.
中间⼏个⽉竟然就这么过去了， 我基本上没写⼏个字， 所以变成
了这样。 然后从还有两个⽉到还有⼀个⽉， 再到只剩两星期。 然
后有⼀天我突然意识到 离截⽌期只剩三天了， ⽽我还⼀个字都没
写呢， 于是我做了我唯⼀能做的事： 我花了72⼩时写出90页， 通
宵整整两天赶⼯ ⼈不应该连续熬两个通宵 全速穿过校园， 慢动作
潜⼊， 赶在截⽌期之前交了论⽂。

I thought that was the end of everything. But a week later I get
a call, and it's the school. And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?"
And I say, "Yeah." And they say, "We need to talk about your
thesis." And I say, "OK." And they say, "It's the best one we've
ever seen."That did not happen. It was a very, very bad thesis.
I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you
thought, "This guy is amazing!"
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Day. Date.
我以为⼀切就这么结束了。 结果⼀个星期之后我接到⼀通电话，
是学校打来的。 他们问：“你是蒂姆·尔班吗？” 我说，“没错”。
他们说：“我们得和你 谈⼀下论⽂的事⼉。” 我回答，”好“ 对⽅接
着说, "这是我们看过最棒的⼀篇论⽂。" 那并未发⽣。这篇论⽂写
得⾮常⾮常烂。我只是想享受⼀下这个时刻， 当你们全部以为，
“这家伙太⽜了”

No, no, it was very, very bad. Anyway, today I'm a writer-
blogger guy. I write the blog Wait But Why. And a couple of
years ago, I decided to write about procrastination. My
behavior has always perplexed the non-procrastinators around
me, and I wanted to explain to the non-procrastinators of the
world what goes on in the heads of procrastinators, and why we
are the way we are. Now, I had a hypothesis that the brains of
procrastinators were actually different than the brains of other
people. And to test this, I found an MRI lab that actually let me
scan both my brain and the brain of a proven non-
procrastinator, so I could compare them. I actually brought
them here to show you today. I want you to take a look
carefully to see if you can notice a difference.
不是这样的，那篇论⽂超级烂。 不管怎么样，我现在是个博⽂作
者。 我为“打破砂锅问到底”写博⽂。 ⼏年前我决定 写⼀篇关于拖
延的⽂章。 我的拖延⾏为总是让 我⾝边那些不拖延的⼈感到困
惑， 所以我想向不拖延的⼈解释⼀下 拖延者脑袋⾥到底是怎么想
的， 还有为什么我们这些拖延者会这样。 我的假设是 拖延者的⼤
脑 和不拖延者的⼤脑是不同的。 为了证明这⼀点， 我找到⼀个核
磁共振实验室 让我可以扫描⾃⼰的⼤脑 和⼀个经证实不是拖延者
的⼤脑， 然后我就可以对⽐这两种⼤脑。 今天我把它们都带来
了。 我希望⼤家能认真⽐较 这⼆者之间是否有什么差别。

I know that if you're not a trained brain expert, it's not that
obvious, but just take a look, OK? So here's the brain of a non-
procrastinator.
我知道⼤家 不是受过训练的脑科专家， 看起来可能不明显， 但是
让我们来看⼀下，好吗？ 这是⼀个不拖延者的⼤脑。

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Day. Date.
Now ... here's my brain.There is a difference. Both brains have
a Rational Decision-Maker in them, but the procrastinator's
brain also has an Instant Gratification Monkey. Now, what
does this mean for the procrastinator? Well, it means
everything's fine until this happens.[This is a perfect time to
get some work done.] [Nope!]
现在， 这是我的⼤脑。这⼆者之间有⼀个区别。 两种⼤脑⾥头 都
有⼀个理性的决策制定者， 但是拖延者的⼤脑⾥， 还有⼀只叫即
时满⾜的猴⼦。 对拖延者来说这意味着什么呢？ 它意味着在这件
事 发⽣之前⼀切都挺好的。[现在是开始⼲活的最佳时机.] [才不是
呢!]

So the Rational Decision-Maker will make the rational

decision to do something productive, but the Monkey doesn't
like that plan, so he actually takes the wheel, and he says,
"Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page of the Nancy
Kerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal, because I just remembered
that that happened.
于是当理性的决策制定者 做出理性的决策， 想做⼀些富有成效的
事时， 猴⼦不想这么做， 于是他开始掌控⽅向盘， ⽽且他说：“实
际上， 让我们来读⼀下维基百科上关于 南茜·克⾥根/汤妮·雅哈
丁 的丑闻案吧， 因为我刚想起来这件事。

Then we're going to go over to the fridge, to see if there's

anything new in there since 10 minutes ago. After that, we're
going to go on a YouTube spiral that starts with videos of
Richard Feynman talking about magnets and ends much, much
later with us watching interviews with Justin Bieber's mom.
"All of that's going to take a while, so we're not going to really
have room on the schedule for any work today. Sorry!"
然后让我们⾛到冰箱， 翻翻看这10分钟以来 有没什么新东西。 之
后，让我们继续 在视频⽹站上浏览， 从理查德·费曼 谈磁性的视
频开始看， ⼀直看到 对贾斯汀·⽐伯⽼妈的采访 看到地⽼天荒。
“这⼀切都花时间, 所以我们今天的⽇程安排 没办法抽空⼲活。 很
抱歉！“

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Day. Date.
Now, what is going on here? The Instant Gratification Monkey
does not seem like a guy you want behind the wheel. He lives
entirely in the present moment. He has no memory of the past,
no knowledge of the future, and he only cares about two
things: easy and fun.
这是怎么回事呢？ 即时满⾜猴⼦似乎不是那个 你想让他操控⽅向
盘的⼈。 他完全活在当下。 他没有过去的记忆， 没有对未来的认
识， 他只关⼼两件事： 简单和快乐。

Now, in the animal world, that works fine. If you're a dog and
you spend your whole life doing nothing other than easy and
fun things, you're a huge success!
在动物世界⾥，这样没问题。 如果你是⼀条狗， 你简单、快乐地
度过这⼀⽣， 就已经是巨⼤的成功！

And to the Monkey, humans are just another animal species.

You have to keep well-slept, well-fed and propagating into
the next generation, which in tribal times might have
worked OK. But, if you haven't noticed, now we're not in
tribal times. We're in an advanced civilization, and the
Monkey does not know what that is. Which is why we have
another guy in our brain, the Rational Decision-Maker, who
gives us the ability to do things no other animal can do. We can
visualize the future. We can see the big picture. We can make
long-term plans. And he wants to take all of that into account.
And he wants to just have us do whatever makes sense to be
doing right now.
⽽对于猴⼦来说， ⼈类是另外⼀种动物。 你睡好、吃饱、繁殖下
⼀代， 这么做在部落时代或许没问题。 但是，假如你还没注意
到， 我们现在不是⽣活在部落时代。 我们处于⼀个先进的⽂明，
⽽猴⼦根本不懂那是什么。 这就是为什么我们脑袋⾥还有另外⼀
个家伙， 理性的决策制定者， 他让我们有能⼒去做 其他动物⽆法
做到的事情。 我们可以预见未来。 我们可以顾全⼤局。 我们可以
做长期打算。 ⽽且他想把这些都考虑进去。 他想让我们做 任何值
得现在去做的事⼉。

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Day. Date.
Now, sometimes it makes sense to be doing things that are
easy and fun, like when you're having dinner or going to bed or
enjoying well-earned leisure time. That's why there's an
overlap. Sometimes they agree.
有时做简单快乐的事 是有意义的， ⽐如吃饭、睡觉 或者享受应得
的休闲时光。 这就是为什么即时满⾜猴⼦ 和理性的决策制定者之
间有重合。 有时他们意见⼀致。

But other times, it makes much more sense to be doing things

that are harder and less pleasant, for the sake of the big picture.
And that's when we have a conflict. And for the procrastinator,
that conflict tends to end a certain way every time, leaving him
spending a lot of time in this orange zone, an easy and fun
place that's entirely out of the Makes Sense circle. I call it the
Dark Playground.
但是有时，更有意义的是 去做那些⽐较难 ⽽且不那么让⼈享受的
事情， 这是出于全局的考虑。 此时⼆者之间会产⽣冲突。 对于拖
延者来说， 每次冲突都以这种⽅式结束， 就是他在橙⾊区域 花费
了⼤量时间， 这是那个简单又快乐， 但是又没有意义的那个区
域。 我把这⽚区域称为⿊暗的操场。

Now, the Dark Playground is a place that all of you

procrastinators out there know very well. It's where leisure
activities happen at times when leisure activities are not
supposed to be happening. The fun you have in the Dark
Playground isn't actually fun, because it's completely
unearned, and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-
hatred -- all of those good procrastinator feelings. And the
question is, in this situation, with the Monkey behind the
wheel, how does the procrastinator ever get himself over here
to this blue zone, a less pleasant place, but where really
important things happen?
⿊暗的操场是⼀个 所有拖延者都很了解的地⽅。 这⾥是在本来不
应该休闲的时候 的休闲娱乐的活动场所。 在⿊暗的操场得到的快
乐 其实并不是快乐， 因为它完全是不劳⽽获的， 这会带来内疚、
恐惧、 焦虑、⾃我憎恨 这是所有拖延者的感受。 ⽽且问题是，在
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Day. Date.
这种情况下， 由猴⼦掌控着⽅向盘， 怎么能让拖延者把⾃⼰ 带去
蓝⾊区域那边呢， 那边虽然没那么舒适， 但是有很多重要的事情要
做。
Well, turns out the procrastinator has a guardian angel, someone
who's always looking down on him and watching over him in
his darkest moments -- someone called the Panic Monster.
其实拖延者有个守护天使， 总是看不起他并且看守着他， 在那些最
⿊暗的时刻 它被称为恐慌怪兽。

Now, the Panic Monster is dormant most of the time, but he

suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets too close or there's
danger of public barrassment, a career disaster or some other
scary consequence. And importantly, he's the only thing the
Monkey is terrified of. Now, he became very relevant in my life
pretty recently, because the people of TED reached out to me
about six months ago and invited me to do a TED Talk.

恐慌怪兽⼤部分时间都在冬眠， 但是截⽌期很靠近的时候 或者处于

在公众⾯前出丑的危险中时， 或⾯临事业灾难时， 或有其他可怕的
后果时， 它就会突然醒来。 ⽽且重要的是， 他是猴⼦唯⼀害怕的
东西。 最近在我的⽣活⾥， 恐慌怪兽变得相当重要， 因为TED的
⼯作⼈员 6个⽉之前联络过我， 邀请我做⼀次演讲。

Now, of course, I said yes. It's always been a dream of mine to

have done a TED Talk in the past.
当然，我答应啦。 我以前⼀直梦想着 可以做⼀次TED演讲。

But in the middle of all this excitement, the Rational Decision-

Maker seemed to have something else on his mind. He was
saying, "Are we clear on what we just accepted? Do we get
what's going to be now happening one day in the future? We
need to sit down and work on this right now." And the Monkey
said, "Totally agree, but let's just open Google Earth and zoom
in to the bottom of India, like 200 feet above the ground, and
scroll up for two and a half hours til we get to the top of the
country, so we can get a better feel for India."
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Day. Date.
但是在这种兴奋中， 理性的决策制定者 似乎在想别的事。 他会
说： “我们清楚刚才答应了什么吗？ 我们现在具有完成 将来那个任
务所需的能⼒吗？ 我们得坐下来开始⼲活。” ⽽猴⼦说：“完全同
意， 但是让我们打开⾕歌地球 把镜头推进到印度地下200尺， 然后
花两个半⼩时 向上滚动到这个国家的地表， 让我们更好地感受⼀
下印度。”

So that's what we did that day.As six months turned into four
and then two and then one, the people of TED decided to
release the speakers. And I opened up the website, and there
was my face staring right back at me. And guess who woke up?
So the Panic Monster starts losing his mind, and a few seconds
later, the whole system's in mayhem. And the Monkey --
remember, he's terrified of the Panic Monster -- boom, he's up
the tree! And finally, finally, the Rational Decision-Maker can
take the wheel and I can start working on the talk.
那天我就是这么做的。当6个⽉变成4个⽉， 然后2个⽉，然后1个⽉
时， TED⼯作⼈员开始发布演讲者。 我打开⽹站看到⾃⼰的脸 盯
着⾃⼰看。 你猜这个时候谁醒了？于是恐慌怪兽开始发疯， ⼏秒
钟之后，整个系统⼀⽚混乱。⽽猴⼦，还记得吗？他害怕恐慌怪兽
嘣的⼀声，他爬到树上去了！ 于是终于， 理性的决策制定者 终于
可以操控⽅向盘， 我可以开始准备这次演讲。

Now, the Panic Monster explains all kinds of pretty insane

procrastinator behavior, like how someone like me could spend
two weeks unable to start the opening sentence of a paper, and
then miraculously find the unbelievable work ethic to stay up
all night and write eight pages. And this entire situation, with
the three characters -- this is the procrastinator's system. It's not
pretty, but in the end, it works. This is what I decided to write
about on the blog a couple of years ago.
恐慌怪兽的存在解释了 所有这些相当愚蠢的拖延⾏为 就⽐如我这
样的⼈花了两个星期 还没办法开始写论⽂的开头语， 然后奇迹般
地又拥有了 令⼈难以置信的⼯作热情 整晚熬夜写了8页。 整个情况
中的三种⾓⾊ 构建了拖延者的系统。 不美好，但是⾄少还有⽤。
这是我⼏年前决定在博客写的东西。
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Day. Date.
When I did, I was amazed by the response. And they were all
writing, saying the same thing: "I have this problem too." But
what struck me was the contrast between the light tone of the
post and the heaviness of these emails. These people were
writing with intense frustration about what procrastination had
done to their lives, about what this Monkey had done to them.
And I thought about this, and I said, well, if the
procrastinator's system works, then what's going on? Why are
all of these people in such a dark place?
发布之后， 收到的回应让我⼤吃⼀惊。内容基本上差不多： “我也
有这个问题。” 但是让我印象深刻的是那种反差， 帖⼦的轻松⼜吻
和那些邮件的沉重语⽓的反差。 这些⼈有强烈的挫败感 因为拖延
影响到他们的⽣活， 因为猴⼦控制了他们的想法。 思考之后，我
的问题是 如果拖延者的系统是有效的， 那么到底是怎么回事？ 为
什么这些⼈⾝陷 如此灰暗的境地？

Well, it turns out that there's two kinds of procrastination.

Everything I've talked about today, the examples I've given,
they all have deadlines. And when there's deadlines, the effects
of procrastination are contained to the short term because the
Panic Monster gets involved. But there's a second kind of
procrastination that happens in situations when there is no
deadline. So if you wanted a career where you're a self-starter
-- something in the arts, something entrepreneurial -- there's no
deadlines on those things at first, because nothing's happening,
not until you've gone out and done the hard work to get
momentum, get things going. There's also all kinds of
important things outside of your career that don't involve any
deadlines, like seeing your family or exercising and taking
care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out
of a relationship that isn't working.
结果我发现原来有两种拖延。 我今天谈到的，上⾯举过的例⼦ 都
有截⽌期。 有截⽌期的时候， 拖延的影响 被限制在⼀个较短的期
限内 因为恐慌怪兽会介⼊。 但是对于第⼆种拖延来说 它发⽣在没
有截⽌期的情况下。 ⽐如你想⾃⼰创业 或者从事艺术类的⼯作，
起初并没有截⽌期， 因为在你还没有开始努⼒⼲活之前 不会有任
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Day. Date.
何事情发⽣ 没有产⽣推进⼒让事情继续进⾏。 除了事业之外那些
重要的事情 也没有截⽌期， ⽐如看望你的家庭， 或者锻炼⾝体保
持⾝体健康， 努⼒改善恋⼈关系 或者离开⼀段不满意的关系。

Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these

hard things is the Panic Monster, that's a problem, because in
all of these non-deadline situations, the Panic Monster doesn't
show up. He has nothing to wake up for, so the effects of
procrastination, they're not contained; they just extend outward
forever.
如果拖延者做这些困难的事 只有⼀种机制 即恐慌怪兽，那么问
题来了， 因为在这些没有截⽌期的情况下， 恐慌怪兽根本不会
出现。 他没有需要醒来的时候， 于是拖延的后果是不受限制
的， 他们只会⽆限延期。

And it's this long-term kind of procrastination that's much less

visible and much less talked about than the funnier, short-term
deadline-based kind. It's usually suffered quietly and privately.
And it can be the source of a huge amount of long-term
unhappiness, and regrets. And I thought, that's why those
people are emailing, and that's why they're in such a bad place.
It's not that they're cramming for some project. It's that long-
term procrastination has made them feel like a spectator, at
times, in their own lives. The frustration is not that they
couldn't achieve their dreams; it's that they weren't even able to
start chasing them.
⽽这种长期的拖延 ⽐起更有趣、更短期、 基于截⽌期的那种拖
延来说， 不那么明显，也不经常被谈论。 它通常是安静地、悄
悄地影响我们。 它可能是 ⼤量长期不快乐、内疚的来源。 我觉
得，这才是那些⼈ 发来邮件的原因， 这才是他们处于 如此糟糕
状况的原因。 不是因为他们为了某个项⽬狂赶， ⽽是这种长期
拖延 使他们感觉在他们⾃⼰的⽣活中 有时好像只是⼀个旁观
者。 他们的沮丧不是因为 他们⽆法实现⾃⼰的梦想； ⽽是他们
甚⾄⽆法开始 去追逐⾃⼰的梦想。

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秋贤工作室
Day. Date.
So I read these emails and I had a little bit of an epiphany --
that I don't think non-procrastinators exist. That's right -- I
think all of you are procrastinators. Now, you might not all be
a mess, like some of us, and some of you may have a healthy
relationship with deadlines, but remember: the Monkey's
sneakiest trick is when the deadlines aren't there.

所以读完这些邮件之后， 我有⼀点领悟 我认为不存在不拖延的

⼈。 没错，我认为⼤家都是拖延者。 你也许并不是像我们这样，
每⽅⾯都⼀团糟，也许有些⼈可以 很好的⾯对截⽌⽇期， 但是请
记住：猴⼦最卑鄙的伎俩 在于没有截⽌⽇期的部分。

Now, I want to show you one last thing. I call this a Life
Calendar. That's one box for every week of a 90-year life.
That's not that many boxes, especially since we've already
used a bunch of those. So I think we need to all take a long,
hard look at that calendar. We need to think about what we're
really procrastinating on, because everyone is procrastinating
on something in life. We need to stay aware of the Instant
Gratification Monkey. That's a job for all of us. And because
there's not that many boxes on there, it's a job that should
probably start today. Well, maybe not today, but ... You know.
Sometime soon. Thank you.
现在我想给⼤家最后看⼀样东西。 我把它叫做⽣命⽇历。 假设⼀
个⼈可以活到90岁， 每个星期是⼀个格⼦。 其实没多少格⼦， 尤
其是我们已经活了这么多年。 我认为我们都需要花些时间， 认真
看⼀下这个⽣命⽇历。 我们需要认真思考 我们真正拖延的是什
么， 因为每个⼈都在拖延某件事。 我们得时刻意识到 即时满⾜这
个猴⼦的存在。 这是我们所有⼈都应该做的事⼉。 ⽽且因为格⼦
并不多， 这项⼯作也许应该从今天就开始。好吧，也许不是今
天，但是... 你懂的。 不久的将来。谢谢。

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Day. Date.

我们的⻝物系统怎么了
What's wrong with our food system

Hello. My name is Birke Baehr, and I'm 11 years old. I came

here today to talk about what's wrong with our food system.
First of all, I would like to say that I'm really amazed at how
easily kids are led to believe all the marketing and advertising
on TV, at public schools and pretty much everywhere else you
look. It seems to me like corporations are always trying to get
kids, like me, to get their parents to buy stuff that really isn't
good for us or the planet. Little kids, especially, are attracted
by colorful packaging and plastic toys. I must admit, I used to
be one of them. I also used to think that all of our food came
from these happy, little farms where pigs rolled in mud and
cows grazed on grass all day.
⼤家好。我叫Birke Baehr伯克·巴尔， 11岁。 我要讲的是我们⾷
物体系的问题。 ⾸先，我想说 我⾮常惊奇孩⼦们是多么容易就轻
信 所有 在电视上，在公⽴学校 甚⾄随处可见的营销宣传和⼴告。
我觉得公司总是 试着让像我⼀样的孩⼦ 要⽗母去买那些 对我们和
对地球环境都不好的东西。 ⼩孩⼦尤其 喜欢彩⾊包装 和塑料玩
具。 我必须承认，我曾是他们中的⼀员。 我也曾以为我们所有的
⾷物 来⾃于开⼼⼩农场， 那⾥整天有在泥浆⾥打滚的猪和遍地吃
草的⽜。

What I discovered was this is not true. I began to look into this
stuff on the Internet, in books and in documentary films, in my
travels with my family. I discovered the dark side of the
industrialized food system. First, there's genetically engineered
seeds and organisms.
但我发现这不是真的。 我开始在 互联⽹，书本，纪录⽚， 和与我
家⼈的旅⾏中查找素材。 我发现了⼯业化⾷品体系的阴暗⾯。 ⾸
先谈谈转基因种⼦和转基因⽣物。

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秋贤工作室
Day. Date.
That is when a seed is manipulated in a laboratory to do
something not intended by nature -- like taking the DNA of a
fish and putting it into the DNA of a tomato. Yuck. Don't get
me wrong, I like fish and tomatoes, but this is just creepy. The
seeds are then planted, then grown. The food they produce
have been proven to cause cancer and other problems in lab
animals, and people have been eating food produced this way
since the 1990s. And most folks don't even know they exist.
Did you know rats that ate genetically engineered corn had
developed signs of liver and kidney toxicity? These include
kidney inflammation and lesions and increased kidney weight.
Yet almost all the corn we eat has been altered genetically in
some way. And let me tell you, corn is in everything. And
don't even get me started on the Confined Animal Feeding
Operations called CAFOS.
这是指在实验室改造种⼦， 进⾏培植，⽽不是⽤⾃然的⽅式种植--
就好⽐提取鱼类的DNA， 把它植⼊到西红柿的DNA中--恶⼼。 不
要误解我，我喜欢鱼和西红柿， 但这个只能令⼈⽑⾻悚然。 然后
这些种⼦被种植，⽣长。 转基因的⾷物被证明 若是⽤于实验动物
会引发癌症和其它问题。 ⾃从1990年代起，⼈们⼀直在吃 这些转
基因的⾷物。 多数⼈甚⾄不知道它们的存在。 你知道吗？⽼⿏吃
了转基因⾕物 会有肝和肾毒性作⽤的发⽣。 这包括肾炎、损伤和
重量增加。 然⽽我们吃过的⼏乎所有⾕物 都是某种程度的转基因
作物。 我要告诉你的是， 任何⾷物⾥都有⾕物的痕迹。 更不⽤说
集中动物饲养操作了—— 简称CAFOS（美国集中畜牧经营）。

Conventional farmers use chemical fertilizers made from

fossil fuels that they mix with the dirt to make plants grow.
They do this because they've stripped the soil from all
nutrients from growing the same crop over and over again.
传统农民使⽤化⽯燃料制成的化肥， 这些肥料 和泥⼟混合，促进
植物⽣长。 农民施肥是因为他们年复⼀年种植同样的作物， 已经
穷竭了⼟壤的所有养分。

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秋贤工作室
Day. Date.
Next, more harmful chemicals are sprayed on fruits and
vegetables, like pesticides and herbicides, to kill weeds and
bugs. When it rains, these chemicals seep into the ground, or
run off into our waterways, poisoning our water too. Then they
irradiate our food, trying to make it last longer, so it can travel
thousands of miles from where it's grown to the supermarkets.
接下来，他们喷洒更多化学物到⽔果蔬菜上， ⽐如杀⾍剂和除草
剂， 来杀死杂草和⾍⼦。 当下⾬的时候，这些化学物渗⼊⼟地，
或流到我们⽔路，也污染我们的⽔域。接着他们⽤辐射处理我们的
⾷物，使其更保鲜，为了⾷物可运输千⾥ 从产地运到超市货架。

So I ask myself, how can I change? How can I change these

things? This is what I found out. I discovered that there's a
movement for a better way. Now a while back, I wanted to be
an NFL football player. I decided that I'd rather be an organic
farmer instead. Thank you. And that way I can have a greater
impact on the world. This man, Joel Salatin, they call him a
lunatic farmer because he grows against the system. Since I'm
home-schooled, I went to go hear him speak one day. This
man, this "lunatic farmer," doesn't use any pesticides,
herbicides, or genetically modified seeds. And so for that, he's
called crazy by the system.
所以我⾃问， 我能如何改变这些情况？ 这是我发现的办法： 我了
解到了⼀个朝好的⽅向改变的⽅法。 前⼀阵， 我想成为⼀个美式
橄榄球运动员。 但我决定我更愿意成为⼀个有机农业家。 谢谢。
那样的话我可以更多地改变世界。 这个⼈，乔伊·萨拉廷，被称
为疯狂的农民， 因为他的种植⽅法违反整个农业体系。 因为我是
在家受教育， 有⼀天我去听他讲话。 这个⼈，这个疯狂的农民 不
使⽤任何杀⾍剂，除草剂， 或者转基因种⼦。 因此从体系的⾓度
看，他很疯狂。

I want you to know that we can all make a difference by

making different choices, by buying our food directly from
local farmers, or our neighbors who we know in real life.
我想让⼤家知道我们⼤家都可以有所作为 通过不同的选择， 向当

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Day. Date.
地农民 或者从我们熟知的邻居那⼉直接购买⾷物。

Some people say organic or local food is more expensive, but

is it really? With all these things I've been learning about the
food system, it seems to me that we can either pay the farmer,
or we can pay the hospital. Now I know definitely which one I
would choose. I want you to know that there are farms out
there -- like Bill Keener in Sequatchie Cove Farm in Tennessee
-- whose cows do eat grass and whose pigs do roll in the mud,
just like I thought. Sometimes I go to Bill's farm and volunteer,
so I can see up close and personal where the meat I eat comes
from. I want you to know that I believe kids will eat fresh
vegetables and good food if they know more about it and
where it really comes from. I want you to know that there are
farmers' markets in every community popping up. I want you
to know that me, my brother and sister actually like eating
baked kale chips. I try to share this everywhere I go.
有⼈会说有机或者当地⾷物⽐较贵， 但事实是否如此呢？ 根据我
所学到的关于⾷物体系的这些知识， 我知道要么我们付钱给农
民， 要么付给医院。 现在我已经知道怎么选择了。 我想让⼤家知
道还是有那样的农场-- ⽐如⽥纳西州，⽐尔·科恩尔的塞曲驰湾农
场-- 那⾥⽜⼉吃草， 猪泥地打滚，就如同我所想象的那样。 有时
我会去⽐尔的农场做义⼯， 所以我可以近距离亲⾃看到 我吃的⾁
来⾃于哪⾥。 我想让⼤家知道我认为 孩⼦们如果对⾷物了解更
多，知道它们来⾃于哪⾥， 他们就会愿意吃新鲜蔬菜和健康⾷
物。 我希望⼤家知道在每个社区 都在涌现农夫市场。 我想让⼤家
知道我，我哥哥和我姐姐 真的喜欢吃烤⽻⾐⽢蓝⽚。 ⽆论我到哪
⾥，都会向⼤家分享我的想法。

Not too long ago, my uncle said that he offered my six-year-

old cousin cereal. He asked him if he wanted organic Toasted
O's or the sugarcoated flakes -- you know, the one with the big
striped cartoon character on the front.
不久以前， 我叔叔说他给我六岁堂弟吃麦⽚时， 他问他是想要
Toasted 的有机麦⽚ 还是糖⾐⽟⽶⽚-- ⼤家晓得的，在包装正⾯有

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Day. Date.
⼀个⼤幅带条纹卡通⼈物的那种。

My little cousin told his dad that he would rather have the
organic Toasted O's cereal because Birke said he shouldn't eat
sparkly cereal. And that, my friends, is how we can make a
difference one kid at a time.
我⼩堂弟告诉他爸爸 他⽐较想要Toasted的有机燕麦⽚， 因为伯克
说过，他不应该吃那些闪闪发光的燕麦⽚。 我的朋友们，这就是
我们可以逐个劝说孩⼦们 让他们作出的改变。

So next time you're at the grocery store, think local, choose

organic, know your farmer and know your food.
所以下⼀次你在商店购物时，请为本地农业着想， 选择有机⾷
物，认识你的农夫，更好地了解你的⾷物。

16
秋贤工作室
Day. Date.

20年后，你将会在哪⾥？
Where will you be able to live in 20 years
Mohammadpur has always had a unique relationship with the
weather. Located at the mouth of the Bay of Bengal, this
coastal village was built on top of the Meghna River delta.
Deltas are a kind of landmass formed when sediment carried
by rivers is deposited where that river meets a larger body of
water. River deltas are incredibly fertile ecosystems capable of
supporting abundant agriculture and marine life.
穆罕默德布尔与天⽓ 总是有⼀种特别的关系。 坐落在孟加拉湾的
河⼜， 这个沿海⼩镇建于 梅克纳河三⾓洲之上。 三⾓洲是河流流
⼊海洋时， 因所携带泥沙⼤量沉积， 逐渐发展成的冲积平原。 河
流三⾓洲有着⾮常富饶的⽣态系统， ⾜以⽀持⼤量的农作物与海
洋⽣物。

However, their borders gradually change as rivers bring more

sediment in and storms wash sediment away. The residents of
Mohammadpur are well accustomed to managing the ebbs and
flows of this ever-shifting landscape. But lately, an abundance
of intense cyclones have caused frequent flooding that
impedes farming and fishing. These floods also erode the
coastline, allowing later storms to wipe away land altogether.
Since 2000, the Meghna River has overtaken the coastline by
2.5 kilometers, forcing many villagers to move inland or to
nearby cities.
但是由于河流携带更多的沉积物， 同时风暴冲刷⾛沉积物， 导致
边界的变化。 穆罕默德布尔的居民已经适应了与这个 不停变化的
景观并存。 但是最近⼤量的强旋风 导致了频繁的洪⽔， 阻碍了农
业与捕鱼。 这些洪⽔腐蚀了海岸线， 让后续的风暴冲刷⾛整块
地。 ⾃2000年起，梅克纳 已经超过海岸线2.5 千⽶， ⼤量村民被
迫搬到内陆或临近的城市。

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秋贤工作室
Day. Date.
Mohammadpur isn’t the only place where erratic weather is
impacting people’s mobility. Repeated typhoons in the
Philippines have displaced thousands from their homes. In Fiji,
the government is already moving many coastal villages inland
to get ahead of predicted land loss. And in the United States,
melting permafrost is causing chunks of the Alaskan coastline
to erode.
穆罕默德布尔并不是唯⼀⼀个 因为受恶劣天⽓ ⽽影响⼈们迁徙能
⼒的地⽅。 菲利宾反复的台风 导致数千⼈⽆家可归。 在斐济，政
府已经在准备 将海滨村庄迁移内陆， 避免未来的⼟地流失。 在美
国， 融化的永冻层导致了 阿拉斯加海岸线的腐蚀。

In some ways, this is nothing new. Humanity has always

adapted to changing weather and moved to regions that best
support cultural lifestyles and livelihoods. However, scientists
agree that this rise in extreme weather is a by-product of
Earth’s rapidly changing climate. Global warming increases
the frequency and intensity of storms, flooding and drought,
while also melting polar ice caps and raising sea levels.
某种程度上，这不是新鲜事。 ⼈类总是可以适应多变的天⽓， 并
且迁移到可以最好的⽀持 ⽂化习性和⽣机的地⽅。 即便如此， 科
学家们认为地球快速的天⽓变化 导致了更多的极端天⽓。 全球变
暖加剧了风暴， 洪⽔和⼲旱的频率与强度， 还导致了融化极地冰
川 和升⾼海平线。

These factors are changing the environment much faster than

they have in the past. Even for communities with the resources
to take action, the variable pace and nature of these changes
makes them difficult to adapt to. And the vulnerable
populations most impacted by climate change are often those
least responsible.
相较过去，这些因素在更快地改变环境。 即便对于那些有资源去
⾏动的群体， 这些改变多变的速度与本质 使他们很难去适应。 那
些最被⽓候变化所影响的弱势群体 往往责任是最⼩的。

18
秋贤工作室
Day. Date.
Many facing climate mobility live in farming and fishing
communities in countries that generate dramatically fewer
emissions than their larger counterparts.
很多被⽓候多变所影响的⼈居住 在农业和捕鱼的群体， 这些国家
相较于同⾏⽣产显著低的排放量。

Bangladesh is one such country. The nation has a unique

combination of low-lying geography and heavily populated
coastal regions. Most of these vulnerable coastal families, like
those in Mohammadpur, don’t want to abandon their homes
and livelihoods. And for others, leaving Bangladesh isn’t
financially practical. So to stay with their communities, many
have moved a few meters inland and built more resilient
homes on higher ground or elevated stilts.
孟加拉国就是这样的国家。 这个国家由独特的低洼地理和 ⼈⼜密
集沿海区域的组成。 ⼤多数弱势沿海家庭， 和穆罕默德布尔⼀
样， 不希望抛弃他们的家与⽣计。 对于其他⼈来说，离开孟加拉
国在经济上是不现实的。 为了可以和他们的群体在⼀起， 很多需
要向内陆迁移， 并在更⾼的地⽅建造结实的房屋。

Others have tried to buy land on newly emerging islands in the

delta, while some have sent family members to find work in
nearby cities. A handful of individuals might even cross
international borders, if they have family, friends, or work
connections on the other side. But many of the residents
who’ve left are eager to return home.
其他⼈尝试在新起的三⾓洲内陆购买陆地， 与此同时很多⼈将家
庭成员 送到邻近的城市寻找⼯作， 很多⼈甚⾄跨越了国际边界，
如果在另⼀边有他们的家庭，朋友，或者⼯作联系。但是很多离开
的居民都迫切的想要回家。

Unfortunately, it's unclear when weather extremes will die

down, and the government has repeatedly delayed projects to
build concrete embankments that would prevent further
erosion.

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秋贤工作室
Day. Date.
不幸的是，还不确定 极端天⽓什么时候会停⽌， 并且政府⼀直拖
延了修建 可以防⽌腐蚀的河坝的项⽬。

In other parts of the world, people couldn’t move inland even

if they wanted to. The low-lying Pacific Island nations of
Kiribati and Tuvalu are only 811 square kilometers and 26
square kilometers, respectively; so migration would mean
moving to a different country altogether.
在世界的其他地⽅， 即便⼈们想向内陆迁移也不可⾏。 低洼的太
平洋岛国基⾥巴斯和图⽡卢 分别占地⾯积 只有811平⽅千⽶和26平
⽅千⽶。 所以迁移将代表 搬到了⼀个完全不同的国家。

Instead, their governments and citizens have united in

physically, legally, and politically fortifying their countries.
Island residents are planting coastal mangrove forests, and
building up low-lying areas of land with dredged sand to
shield themselves against storms and rising sea levels. And the
islands’ governments have repeatedly lobbied on the global
stage for countries with the highest emissions to reduce
pollution and take responsibility for climate change.
取⽽代之，这些政府和公民 在⾏动上，法律上和政治上 团结⼀致
去保卫他们的国家。 岛民们在种植沿海红树林， 并且⽤疏浚砂建
造低洼地区， 以防风暴和海平⾯上升。 这些岛屿政府反复地在全
球 游说那些造成⾼排放量的国家， 让他们减少污染， 并且为⽓候
变化负责。

The challenges facing each coastal community are unique, and

the diversity of the people's experiences can make climate
mobility a difficult phenomenon to measure and define. But as
new communities are endangered by exterme weather, it’s
more important than ever to listen to those on the front lines
of this crisis.
这些沿海群体所⾯临的挑战是特殊的， 并且⼈们多样的经历 会让
⽓候多变难以衡量与定义。 但是当更多的群体被极端天⽓所危
害，但是我们⽐任何时候都应该听从那些站在危机前线的⼈。

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秋贤工作室
Day. Date.

20岁，光阴不再来
Why 30 is not the new 20?

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy

client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at
Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now
Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big
slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and
kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy
problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My
classmate got an arsonist for her first client.
当我20⼏岁时， 我见到了我的第⼀个需要精神疗法的病⼈。 当时
我是⼀个在伯克利⼤学 读临床⼼理学的Ph.D学⽣。 她是⼀位叫
Alex的26岁⼥性。 第⼀次会⾯时Alex穿了 ⽜仔裤以及略微不修边
幅的上⾐， 进来后直接坐到我办公室中的沙发上， 踢掉她的鞋
⼦， 然后跟我说她是来跟我讲男性问题的。 当我听到这个时，我
松了⼀⼜⽓。 我的⼀个同学的第⼀个病⼈是⼀个纵⽕犯。

And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.

This I thought I could handle. But I didn't handle it. With the
funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for
me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the
road. "Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I
could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage
happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later.
Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.
所以说，我有⼀个⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈ 想跟我谈谈男⽣。 我以为我能处
理好这事。但我没能办到。 Alex在每⼀次会⾯时 都会带来好笑的
故事， 因此对我⽽⾔点点头， 不断拖延出结果的时间是⼀件⾮常
轻松的事情。 Alex会说“三⼗就是新的⼆⼗”， ⽽且就我知道的，
她是对的。 ⼯作要以后才有，结婚以后才有， 孩⼦以后才有，连
死亡都是以后才有。 像Alex和我⼀样是⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈除了时间外
⼀⽆所有。

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Day. Date.
But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about
her love life. I pushed back. I said, "Sure, she's dating down,
she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going
to marry the guy." And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but
she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work
on Alex's marriage is before she has one."
但没过多久，我的监督就催我 开始推动Alex的爱情⽣活。 我拒绝
了。我说：“没错，她现在在约会， 她和⼀个笨蛋同床， 但这并不
表⽰她会和他结婚。”然后我的监督说： “现在还没，但她可能会和
下⼀个这样的⼈结婚。 再说，在Alex的婚事上花费精⼒的最好时间
就是在她结婚之前。”

That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment. That was the

moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle
down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a
developmental downtime. That made Alex's 20s a
developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there, blowing
it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was
a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex
and her love life but for the careers and the families and the
futures of twentysomethings everywhere.
这就是⼼理学家们所说的“原来如此！”瞬间。 在那⼀瞬间，我明⽩
了三⼗岁并不是新的⼆⼗岁。 没错，⼈们⽐以前更晚安顿下来，
但这并不说明Alex的⼆⼗⼏岁这个时间段是她的发展低⾕。 这使
Alex的⼆⼗⼏岁⼀个发展的良好时期， ⽽我们就坐在那⼉荒废它。
这时我才明⽩这种“善意的疏忽” 是⼀个⾮常现实的问题，⽽且它有
严重的后果， 不仅是对于Alex和她的爱情⽣活 也对于各地的⼆⼗
⼏岁的⼈的 家庭与未来。

There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States

right now. We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or
100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through
adulthood without going through their 20s first.
现在美国有⼤约5千万⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈。 这⼤概是总⼈⼜的15%，或
者说100%如果你考虑到 没⼈能在不经历⼆⼗⼏岁这个阶段的情况
下经过成⼈期。

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Day. Date.
Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some
twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! You are all awesome. If you
work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething,
you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see —
Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.
如果你是⼆⼗⼏岁的话举⼀下⼿。 我⾮常想在这⼉看到⼀些⼆⼗⼏
岁的⼈。 太好了！你们都棒极了。 如果你和⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈⼯作，
如果你爱⼀个⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈， 如果你因为⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈⽽失眠，我
就想看到— 好的。棒极了，⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈⾮常重要。

So, I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that

every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings
deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists
and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is
one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do
for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the
world.
我专门研究⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈，因为我相信 这5千万个⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈中
每⼀个 都应该知道每⼀个⼼理学家， 社会学家，神经学家以及⽣
育专家 都知道的： 那就是把握你的⼆⼗岁这⼀个阶段是最简单
的， 但又是最有影响⼒的你能为 你的职业，爱情，幸福， 甚⾄是
全世界做的事。

This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80

percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.
That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and
experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is
will have happened by your mid-30s. People who are over 40,
don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think.
这不是我的观点。这是事实。 我们知道⼀个⼈的⼀⽣中的80%的最
重要的时刻 发⽣在35岁。 这就意味着每10个 决定你的⽣命会是什
么样的 的经历与“原来如此！”时刻 中有8个发⽣在三⼗岁中旬。超
过40岁的⼈，别慌。 我估计这个观众没问题。

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Day. Date.
We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential
impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know
that more than half of Americans are married or are living with
or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain
caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it
rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is
you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change
it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s
than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility
peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s
are the time to educate yourself about your body and your
options.
我们知道⼀份职业中的前10年 对于你将会挣多少钱 有⾮常⼤的影
响。 我们知道超过⼀半的美国⼈ 30岁之前就和终⽣伴侣结婚， 同
居，或者在约会。 我们知道⼤脑在你⼆⼗⼏岁时 为了适应成⼈期
达到第⼆次也是最后⼀次成长期的⾼峰， 这说明⽆论你想改变你⾃
⼰的什么， 现在就是改变它的时间。 我们知道相⽐⼈⽣其他阶段
⼆⼗岁时的个性变化最⼤， ⽽且我们也知道⼥性的繁殖能⼒在28岁
时达到峰顶， 到35岁之后事情就有点难办了。 因此你的⼆⼗⼏岁
这个时间段就是 告诉⾃⼰⾃⼰的⾝体状况以及未来的选择的时候。

So when we think about child development, we all know that

the first five years are a critical period for language and
attachment in the brain. It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-
day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But
what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult
development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult
development.
因此当我们说到⼉童发展， 我们都知道前5年是⼤脑发展 语⾔和爱
慕的关键时期。 这是⼀个你的每⽇⽣活都会对你的未来 产⽣巨⼤
影响的时间段。 但是我们听到的⽐较少的就是有⼀个东西叫 成⼈
发展，⽽我们的⼆⼗岁这个阶段 就是成⼈发展的关键时期。

But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. Newspapers

talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers

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Day. Date.
call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly
nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and
"kidults."As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the
defining decade of adulthood.
但这并不是⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈所听到的。 报纸在描述成⼈的时间表的
变更， 研究⼈员把⼆⼗⼏岁叫做延长的青春期。 新闻记者在给⼆
⼗⼏岁的⼈附加愚蠢的外号， ⽐如“中间者”和“成年⼉童”。 这是真
的。 作为⼀种⽂化，我们把实际上是成⼈期中最重要的⼀个⼗年
列为不重要的东西。

Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a

plan and not quite enough time.Isn't that true?So what do you
think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head
and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"?
Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency
and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.
伦纳德 伯恩斯坦说过如果想办成⼤事， 就需要⼀个计划和不⾜够
的时间。 这不对吗？ 所以说当你 拍⼀个⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈的头然后
说： “你还有额外的⼗年才开始⽣活”时你认为会发⽣什么？ 什么
也不会发⽣。 你剥夺了那个⼈的紧迫感以及志向， 但是什么都没
发⽣。

And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like

you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and
say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me,
but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time." Or
they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career
by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine."
然后每天就有像你们的⼉⼦或者⼥⼉⼀样 既聪明又有趣的⼆⼗⼏
岁的⼈ 跑到我的办公室跟我说 “我知道我的男朋友对我⼀点好处都
没有， 但这段感情不算数。我只是在消耗时间。” 或者是“⼤家都
说只要我在30岁之前 开始我的职业就没问题。”这⼀类的话。

But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over,
and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé
the day after I graduated from college." And then it starts to
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 Day. Date.
sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.
Everybody was running around and having fun, but then
sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and
everybody started sitting down. I didn't want to be the only one
left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband
because he was the closest chair to me at 30."
但后来他们就开始讲： “我的⼆⼗岁快结束了，但我没什么可以展
现的。 我毕业那天最好写写⾃⼰的简历。”之后他们开始讲： “⼆⼗
⼏岁时的约会就像玩抢座位游戏。 ⼤家跑来跑去，乐在其中， 但
到30岁左右⾳乐就停掉了， ⼤家⼀个接⼀个开始坐下。 我不想成
为唯⼀⼀个站着的⼈， 因此有时候我觉得我和我丈夫结婚的原因
就是因为在我30岁时他是距我最近的‘椅⼦’。”

Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that.Okay,

now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes
are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is
enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick
a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter
period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as
research is just starting to show, simply harder and more
stressful to do all at once in our 30s.
这⾥的⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈在哪⼉？ 别做这种事。好吧，刚才那听起来可
能有⼀点轻浮，但是别搞错， 在这⾥筹码⾮常⾼。 当很多事情被
推到三⼗⼏岁再做时， 在你的三⼗岁这个阶段就有在极短的时间内
开始⼀个职业，挑选⼀个城市，找到⼀个伴侣 并且⽣⼏个孩⼦的巨
⼤压⼒。 这些事情中有很多是不兼容的， ⽽且就如研究开始表
明， 在三⼗⼏岁这个阶段同时完成这么多事 的压⼒以及难度实在
是太⼤了。

The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.

It's realizing you can't have that career you now want. It's
realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't
give your child a sibling. Too many thirtysomethings and
fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across
the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing? What
was I thinking?" I want to change what twentysomethings are
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Day. Date.
doing and thinking.
上个千年之后的中年危机 不在于能否买⼀辆红⾊的敞篷车。 是在
于发现⾃⼰的职业不是⾃⼰想要的。 是在于发现你⽆法⽣你想要
的孩⼦， 或者⽆法给⾃⼰的孩⼦⼀个同胞。 有太多太多的三⼗⼏
岁的⼈和四⼗⼏岁的⼈ 先看看⾃⼰，然后看看坐在房间另⼀边的
我， 然后讨论他们的⼆⼗⼏岁这个时间段。 “我当时在做什么？我
当时在想什么？”我想改变⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈ 的所做与所思。

Here's a story about how that can go. It's a story about a
woman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to my office because
she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she
thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she
hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting
tables instead. Because it was cheaper, she lived with a
boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.
我来讲⼀个关于如何这么做的故事。 这是⼀个关于⼀位叫Emma的
⼥性的故事。 25岁时，Emma来到我的办公室 因为她，⽤她的话来
讲，正在经历⼀个⾝份危机。 她说她认为她想从事艺术 或者娱
乐，但她还没决定， 所以前⼏年她花在做服务员上了。 因为⽐较
便宜，她和她那 展现脾⽓⽐志向更频繁的男朋友住在⼀起。

And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even
harder. She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect
herself by saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can
pick your friends."
⽽⽆论她的⼆⼗⼏岁有多么困难， 她以前的⽣活更困难。 她在会
⾯时经常哭， 但会说“你⽆法选择你的家庭，但是你能选择你的朋
友。” 然后平定下来。

Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her
lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. She'd just bought a
new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her
many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty
blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency,
please call ..." She was nearly hysterical when she looked at

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Day. Date.
me and said, "Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car
wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?"
有⼀天，Emma⾛进来， 把头放在膝盖上， 然后哭了近⼀个⼩
时。 她刚买了⼀个新的地址薄， 然后她花了⼀个上午填她的联系
⼈， 但是她只能呆呆的看着 “在紧急情况下，请拨打..." 这⼀串字
后⾯的空⽩。 她近歇斯底⾥的看着我并说： “如果我出车祸了谁会
照顾我？ 如果我的癌症了谁会照顾我？”

Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, "I

will." But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who
really, really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this
was her chance. I had learned too much since I first worked
with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went
parading by.
当时，我花了很⼤⼒⽓ 才避免说“我会”。 但Emma需要的并不是⼀
位⾮常⾮常关⼼ 她的治疗师。 Emma需要⼀个更好的⽣活，⽽且
我知道这是她的机会。⾃从我在Alex⾝上下功夫后我学到了很多，
所以我不会让Emma那具有决定作⽤的⼗年 就这么流逝掉。

So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things
that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.
所以在接下来的⼏周和⼏个⽉中， 我告诉了Emma 三个每个⼆⼗
⼏岁的⼈，不论男⼥， 都应该听到东西。

First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and

get some identity capital. By "get identity capital," I mean do
something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's
an investment in who you might want to be next. I didn't know
the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of
work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity
capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that
internship, that startup you want to try. I'm not discounting
twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting
exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is
not exploration. That's procrastination. I told Emma to explore
work and make it count.
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Day. Date.
⾸先, 我告诉Emma忘了她的⾝份危机 然后开始积累⾝份资本。我
所说的“积累⾝份资本”就是指 为你⾃⼰增加价值。做⼀项对你接下
来想是什么样⼦的 的投资我当时不知道Emma的职业的未来，⽽且
没⼈知道⾃⼰的⼯作的未来，但是我知道这些： ⾝份资本会招来
更多的⾝份资本。 这是接受那份跨国职业， 那份实习和你想试试
的那个起步的时候。我不是在漠视⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈的探索，但是我在
漠视毫⽆意义的探索，⽽且那些按道理来讲不能叫探索。 那叫拖
延时间。 我叫Emma试验各种⼯作⽽且让它们算数。

Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated. Best

friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but
twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers
limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how
they speak, and where they work. That new piece of capital,
that new person to date almost always comes from outside the
inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak
ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes, half of
twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. But half aren't,
and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of
new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's
boss is how you get that unposted job. It's not cheating. It's the
science of how information spreads.
其次，我告诉Emma城市部落被⾼估了。 找好朋友来搭车⾄机场很
棒， 但⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈若和思维⽅式 相似的同龄⼈聚在⼀起，他们
所知道的⼈， 他们所知道的事，他们的思维⽅式，他们的讲话⽅
式 以及他们的⼯作地点就会受到限制。 那个新的资本，那个新的
可以约出去的⼈ ⼏乎总是从内部圈⼦之外来的。 新的事物从我们
所谓的微弱的联系中来， ⽐如我们的朋友的朋友的朋友。 是的，
⼤概有⼀半的⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈未就业或者未充分就业。 但有⼀半不
是这样的，⽽微弱的联系 就是把你⾃⼰加⼊那⼀个团体的⽅式。
有⼀半的新职位不会被张贴出来， ⽽联系到你的邻居的⽼板 就是
你拿到那份未被张贴的⼯作的⽅法。 这不是作弊。这是关于信息
如何传递的科学。

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 Day. Date.
Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your
family, but you can pick your friends. Now this was true for her
growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick
her family when she partnered with someone and created a
family of her own. I told Emma the time to start picking your
family is now.
最后，Emma相信 ⼀个⼈不能选择家庭，但可以选择朋友。 在她的
成长过程中这是没错的， 但作为⼀个⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈，很快Emma就
要通过 和某⼈结伴，创造⼀个家庭 来选择她⾃⼰的家庭。 我告诉
Emma选择家庭的时间就是现在。

Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to

settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you. But
grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when
everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not
progress. The best time to work on your marriage is before you
have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you
are with work. Picking your family is about consciously
choosing who and what you want rather than just making it
work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.
你可能会认为30岁是⼀个 ⽐20岁，甚⾄是25岁更好的 安定下来的时
间， ⽽且我也同意。 但当你在别的⼈开始进⼊结婚礼堂时 抓紧和
你同居或睡觉的⼈ 不叫进步。 在婚事上下功夫的最好时间 就是结
婚之前， 意思就是对待爱情就要像对待⼯作⼀样 富有意识。 选择
家庭就是有意识的选择 你想要的⼈和物 ⽽不是单单想让事情成功
或者和 选择你的那个⼈浪费时间。

So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that

address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who
worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped
her get a job there. That job offer gave her the reason to leave
that live-in boyfriend. Now, five years later, she's a special
events planner for museums. She's married to a man she
mindfully chose. She loves her new career, she loves her new
family, and she sent me a card that said, "Now the emergency
contact blanks don't seem big enough."

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那Emma后来怎么样了？ 嗯，我们翻了翻那个地址薄， 然后她发
现她的⼀个⽼室友的⼀位亲⼈ 在另⼀个州的⼀个艺术博物馆⼯
作。 那个微弱的联系帮她在那⾥找到⼀份⼯作。 那份⼯作给她⼀
个 离开她的同居男友的理由。 现在，5年过去了，她是⼀些博物馆
的特殊活动规划者。 她和⼀位她有意识地选择了的⼈结婚了。 她
爱她的新职业，她爱他的新家庭， 她还给我⼀张上⾯写着 “现在紧
急联系⼈⼀栏 似乎不够⼤了。”的卡⽚。

Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love
about working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to
help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX,
bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change
in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.
Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one
good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect
across years and even generations to come.

Emma的故事让这件事听起来⾮常简单， 但这就是我喜欢和⼆⼗⼏
岁的⼈⼯作的原因。 要帮助他们实在太容易了。 ⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈就
像刚离开洛杉矶国际机场的 ⽬的地在西边某地的航班。 起飞之
后，航线的⼀个⼩调整 就是落在阿拉斯加还是落在斐济的区别。
同理，在21岁或者25岁甚⾄是29岁时， ⼀个好的聊天，⼀次好的休
息， ⼀个好的TED演讲可以对接下来的 ⼏年甚⾄是⼏代⼈有⾮常
⼤的影响。

So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething

you know. It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex. It's
what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings
like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim
your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties,
pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or
didn't do. You're deciding your life right now.Thank you.
这⾥给出⼀个值得传播给 每个你认识的⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈的想法。 它
和我学到的该跟Alex说的话⼀样简单。 它就是现在我有权利 每天
对像Emma⼀样的⼆⼗⼏岁的⼈说的话： 30岁不再是新的20岁，所

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以把握好你的成年时期， 积累⼀些⾝份资本，利⽤你的微弱联系
并且选择好你的家庭。 别被你不知道的事或者没做的事 定义。 现
在你就在决定你的⽣命，谢谢。

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爱情应有的样⼦
A better way to talk about love
OK, so today I want to talk about how we talk about love. And
specifically, I want to talk about what's wrong with how we talk
about love.
今天， 我想讨论⼀下 我们谈论爱情的⽅法。 说得更明确⼀些， 就
是讨论⼀下我们 谈论爱情时犯的错误。

Most of us will probably fall in love a few times over the

course of our lives, and in the English language, this metaphor,
falling, is really the main way that we talk about that
experience. I don't know about you, but when I conceptualize
this metaphor, what I picture is straight out of a cartoon -- like
there's a man, he's walking down the sidewalk, without
realizing it, he crosses over an open manhole, and he just
plummets into the sewer below. And I picture it this way
because falling is not jumping. Falling is accidental, it's
uncontrollable. It's something that happens to us without our
consent. And this -- this is the main way we talk about starting
a new relationship.
我们⼤多数⼈在⼀⽣中 会不⽌⼀次坠⼊爱河， ⽽在语⾔中，我们
使⽤“坠⼊”⼀词， 很⼤程度上也形容了恋爱的体验。 我不知道你们
怎么想的， 但我脑海中所浮现的画⾯ 完全和卡通⽚⼀样： 有⼀个
⼈， 他⾛在⼈⾏道上， 不经意间⾛过⼀个井⼜， 然后“扑通”⼀声
跌进了下⽔道。 我这样想象是因为 “坠⼊”与“跳⼊”不同。 “坠⼊”是
意外的， 是不可控制的。 它的发⽣是未经⾃⼰允许的。 ⽽这就是
我们讨论 ⼀段新恋情时的描述⽅式。

I am a writer and I'm also an English teacher, which means I

think about words for a living. You could say that I get paid to
argue that the language we use matters, and I would like to
argue that many of the metaphors we use to talk about love --
maybe even most of them -- are a problem.
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我是作家也是英语⽼师，这意味着我靠咬⽂嚼字为⽣。你可以说我
的⼯作就是告诉别⼈ ⽇常⽤语是很要紧的，⽽我想指出的是， 有
很多⽤来形容爱情的⽐喻， 甚⾄可能是⼤多数，都是有问题的。

So, in love, we fall. We're struck. We are crushed. We swoon.

We burn with passion. Love makes us crazy, and it makes us
sick. Our hearts ache, and then they break. So our metaphors
equate the experience of loving someone to extreme violence
or illness.
所以说， 我们会“坠⼊”爱河。 爱情突如其来。 我们不能⾃拔。 我
们痴狂迷醉。 我们被热情灼烧。 爱情使⼈癫狂， 也使我们患病。
我们的⼼在滴⾎， 然后⽀离破碎。 所以说，这种⽐喻将恋爱经历
等同于极暴⼒和病态。

They do. And they position us as the victims of unforeseen and

totally unavoidable circumstances. My favorite one of these is
"smitten," which is the past participle of the word "smite." And
if you look this word up in the dictionary -- you will see that it
can be defined as both "grievous affliction," and, "to be very
much in love." I tend to associate the word "smite" with a very
particular context, which is the Old Testament. In the Book of
Exodus alone, there are 16 references to smiting, which is the
word that the Bible uses for the vengeance of an angry God.
Here we are using the same word to talk about love that we use
to explain a plague of locusts.
事实真是如此。 ⽽这些⽐喻把我们定位成 某种未知、不可避免的
事件的受害者。 其中我最喜欢的单词 “smitten”， 是“smite”的过去
分词。 如果在词典⾥查询这个单词……你会发现它既可译为“惨痛
的折磨”， 又可以译为“被迷得神魂颠倒”。 这个单词常使我联想到
⼀段特殊⽂字， 那就是《圣经·旧约》。 仅在《出埃及记》中，
就16次提及这个单词， 它被《圣经》⽤来形容 ⼀位愤怒的神的复
仇。⽽如今这个⽤来形容爱情的词， 原本是拿来形容蝗灾的。

Right? So, how did this happen? How have we come to

associate love with great pain and suffering? And why do we
talk about this ostensibly good experience as if we are victims?
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对吧？所以为什么会这样？ 我们怎么会将爱情 和伤痛与苦难混为
⼀谈？ 还有我们为何会讨论这种美好假象， 好像⾃⼰是受害者？

These are difficult questions, but I have some theories. And to

think this through, I want to focus on one metaphor in
particular, which is the idea of love as madness.
这些问题很难回答， 但我有⼀些理论。 若想解释清楚， 我想着重
谈谈这样⼀个⽐喻， 那就是将爱情喻为疯狂。

When I first started researching romantic love, I found these

madness metaphors everywhere. The history of Western
culture is full of language that equates love to mental illness.
These are just a few examples. William Shakespeare: "Love is
merely a madness," from "As You Like It." Friedrich
Nietzsche: "There is always some madness in love." "Got me
looking, got me looking so crazy in love -- "from the great
philosopher, Beyoncé Knowles.
⼀开始研究浪漫爱情的时候， 我发现这种⽐喻⽆处不在。 西⽅历
史⽂化中， 有许多⽂字将爱情⽐喻为精神疾病。 以下是⼏个例
⼦。 威廉·莎⼠⽐亚说过： “爱情不过是⼀种疯狂。” 出⾃《皆⼤
欢喜》。 哲学家尼采说过： “爱情中总是有些疯狂的。” 还有“你的
爱，你的爱让我如此痴狂……”上句出⾃伟⼤的“哲学家”， 碧昂斯
·诺⾥斯。

I fell in love for the first time when I was 20, and it was a
pretty turbulent relationship right from the start. And it was
long distance for the first couple of years, so for me that meant
very high highs and very low lows. I can remember one
moment in particular. I was sitting on a bed in a hostel in South
America, and I was watching the person I love walk out the
door. And it was late, it was nearly midnight, we'd gotten into
an argument over dinner, and when we got back to our room,
he threw his things in the bag and stormed out.
我在⼆⼗岁的时候经历了初恋， 那是⼀段⾃始⾄终都⾮常凌乱的
恋情。 刚开始⼏年还是长途异地恋， 所以对我来说意味着 很⾼的

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⾼潮和很低的低⾕。 我还记得⼀个特别的瞬间。当时我在南美，
坐在⼀间旅社的床上， 看着我爱着的⼈冲出门外。 当时很晚了，
将近午夜， 我们在晚饭时发⽣了争吵， 当我们回到房间后， 他把
东西扔到包⾥，径直冲出了房间。

While I can no longer remember what that argument was

about, I very clearly remember how I felt watching him leave.
我已不记得当时争吵的⽬的， 但我清楚记得我看着他离开时的感
受。

I was 22, it was my first time in the developing world, and I

was totally alone. I had another week until my flight home,
and I knew the name of the town that I was in, and the name of
the city that I needed to get to to fly out, but I had no idea how
to get around. I had no guidebook and very little money, and I
spoke no Spanish.
我当时22岁， 第⼀次来到发展中国家， ⽽且我孤⾝⼀⼈。 距离我
回家还有⼀周， 我记得我所在的那个⼩镇的名字， 也记得我要飞
离南美的 出发地城市的名字， 但我并不知道怎么⾛。 我没有向导
书也没有多少钱， ⽽且我不会讲西班⽛语。

Someone more adventurous than me might have seen this as a

moment of opportunity, but I just froze. I just sat there. And
then I burst into tears. But despite my panic, some small voice
in my head thought, "Wow. That was dramatic. I must really be
doing this love thing right."
⽐我更有冒险精神的⼈， 可能会把这视为⼀次很好的锻炼经历，
但我却不知所措。 我就坐在那⼉。 然后嚎啕⼤哭。 但在慌乱中，
我脑海中的⼀个声⾳告诉我： “天啊，这很戏剧化哦。 我⼀定是把
爱情表现的淋漓尽致了。”

Because some part of me wanted to feel miserable in love. And

it sounds so strange to me now, but at 22, I longed to have
dramatic experiences, and in that moment, I was irrational and
furious and devastated, and weirdly enough, I thought that this

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somehow legitimized the feelings I had for the guy who had
just left me.
因为我内⼼深处 是渴望在爱情中受伤的。 这对于现在的我说很奇
怪， 但对于22岁的我， 我渴望⼀次戏剧性的经历， 那个瞬间我很
不理性、 很⽓愤、很绝望， ⽽更奇怪的是， 我认为某种程度上，
它证明了我对离我⽽去那个⼈的爱。

I think on some level I wanted to feel a little bit crazy, because

I thought that that was how love worked. This really should
not be surprising, considering that according to Wikipedia,
there are eight films, 14 songs, two albums and one novel with
the title "Crazy Love."
可能在某些时候想疯狂⼀些， 因为我以为爱情就应该是这样。 其
实这不应该使⼈惊讶， 因为根据维基百科， 有8部电影， 14⾸
歌，2张专辑， 和⼀本⼩说都命名为《疯狂爱情》。

About half an hour later, he came back to our room. We made

up. We spent another mostly happy week traveling together.
And then, when I got home, I thought, "That was so terrible
and so great. This must be a real romance." I expected my first
love to feel like madness, and of course, it met that expectation
very well. But loving someone like that -- as if my entire well-
being depended on him loving me back -- was not very good
for me or for him.
半⼩时后，他回来了。 我们复合了。 接下来，在旅⾏中我们度过
了愉快的⼀周。 然后我回到家， 我想，“这可真是既糟糕又美好。
这⼀定是真正的爱情吧。” 我期盼着能在初恋中感受到疯狂， 显
然，这个期望被很好的满⾜了。 不过这样爱着⼀个⼈， 好像我的
全部都取决于他回馈的爱， 对⾃⼰是很不好的， 对他也⼀样。

But I suspect this experience of love is not that unusual. Most

of us do feel a bit mad in the early stages of romantic love. In
fact, there is research to confirm that this is somewhat normal,
because, neurochemically speaking, romantic love and mental
illness are not that easily distinguished. This is true.

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不过我觉得这段爱情经历 并不是⾮常罕见。 我们⼤多数⼈在恋情
的早期 都会感受到些许疯狂。 事实上，研究表明这是正常现象，
因为， 从神经学⾓度来说， 恋情和精神疾病并没有特别⼤的区
别。 这是真的。

This study from 1999 used blood tests to confirm that the
serotonin levels of the newly in love very closely resembled
the serotonin levels of people who had been diagnosed with
obsessive-compulsive disorder.
⼀个1999年的实验通过验⾎， 确认了新情侣的⾎清素⽔平 和另⼀
群⼈的⾎清素⽔平相似， 那就是强迫症患者。

Yes, and low levels of serotonin are also associated with

seasonal affective disorder and depression. So there is some
evidence that love is associated with changes to our moods and
our behaviors. And there are other studies to confirm that most
relationships begin this way.
没错，低⽔平的⾎清素 与季节性情感障碍 以及抑郁症都有关联。
由此证明， ⼼情和⾏为的变化与爱情是有关的。 也有其他研究确
认 ⼤多数感情是这样开始的。

Researchers believe that the low levels of serotonin is

correlated with obsessive thinking about the object of love,
which is like this feeling that someone has set up camp in your
brain. And most of us feel this way when we first fall in love.
But the good news is, it doesn't always last that long -- usually
from a few months to a couple of years.
研究者相信，低⽔平的⾎清素 代表了对恋爱对象的强迫性回忆，
就好像别⼈在你的脑海中安营扎寨。我们在初恋都有这样的感受。
但幸运的是，这感受不会持续很久，通常只有⼏个⽉到⼀两年。

When I got back from my trip to South America, I spent a lot

of time alone in my room, checking my email, desperate to
hear from the guy I loved. I decided that if my friends could
not understand my grievous affliction, then I did not need their
friendship.
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当我从南美回来的时候， 我在我的房间⾥独⾃待了很久， 查看我的
邮箱， ⾮常渴望得到我爱的那个男⼈的消息。 我决定：如果我的朋
友不理解我的困境， 那我也不需要这些友谊。

So I stopped hanging out with most of them. And it was

probably the most unhappy year of my life. But I think I felt
like it was my job to be miserable, because if I could be
miserable, then I would prove how much I loved him. And if I
could prove it, then we would have to end up together
eventually.
所以我和⼤多数好友断绝了联系， 那可能是我⼈⽣中最失落的⼀
年。 但我感觉我必须要感受痛苦， 因为通过我的痛苦， 才可以证
明我对他的爱。 如果我可以证明， 那我们终将会在⼀起。

This is the real madness, because there is no cosmic rule that

says that great suffering equals great reward, but we talk about
love as if this is true.
这才是真正的疯狂， 因为并没有明确规定， 受苦受难就⼀定能得到
回报， 但在爱情⾥我们却觉得这是对的。

Our experiences of love are both biological and cultural. Our

biology tells us that love is good by activating these reward
circuits in our brain, and it tells us that love is painful when,
after a fight or a breakup, that neurochemical reward is
withdrawn. And in fact -- and maybe you've heard this --
neurochemically speaking, going through a breakup is a lot like
going through cocaine withdrawal, which I find reassuring.
我们的爱情体验 既是⽣理上的，又是⽂化上的。 ⽣理通过激发我们
⼤脑的激励反馈， 告诉我们爱情是美好的。 然⽽在吵架或分⼿后，
它又告诉我们爱情是痛苦的， 这时候神经反馈是⽆效的。 事实上，
你可能听说过， 从神经学的⾓度来说， 经历分⼿和戒毒过程⾮常相
似， 这点我感到很舒⼼。

And then our culture uses language to shape and reinforce these
ideas about love. In this case, we're talking about metaphors

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about pain and addiction and madness. It's kind of an
interesting feedback loop. Love is powerful and at times
painful, and we express this in our words and stories, but then
our words and stories prime us to expect love to be powerful
and painful.
我们的⽂化利⽤语⾔ 来塑造与加强对于爱的观念。 现在的情况
是，我们将其等同于 痛苦、癖嗜和痴狂。 这好像是⼀个有趣的反
馈循环。 爱情很伟⼤，但有时也让我们痛苦， 我们⽤词句和故事
来表达这点， 然后这些⽂字又使得我们 盲⽬期待爱情就应是伟⼤
⽽痛苦的。

What's interesting to me is that all of this happens in a culture

that values lifelong monogamy. It seems like we want it both
ways: we want love to feel like madness, and we want it to last
an entire lifetime. That sounds terrible.
⽽对我来说有趣的是， 这⼀切都发⽣在⼀个 ⿎励终⽣⼀夫⼀妻制
的⽂化⾥。 这好像是说我们想两者兼得： 我们既想让爱情疯狂⼀
些， 我们又想让它持续⼀⽣。 这听起来糟透了。

To reconcile this, we need to either change our culture or

change our expectations. So, imagine if we were all less
passive in love. If we were more assertive, more open-minded,
more generous and instead of falling in love, we stepped into
love. I know that this is asking a lot, but I'm not actually the
first person to suggest this. In their book, "Metaphors We Live
By," linguists Mark Johnson and George Lakoff suggest a
really interesting solution to this dilemma, which is to change
our metaphors.
要缓解这种情况， 我们要不改变我们的⽂化， 要不改变我们的期
望。 请各位想象⼀下， 所有⼈的爱情都没那么被动。 想象我们少
⼀些固执， ⼼胸变得更宽⼴、更开放， 我们不再“坠⼊”爱河， 我
们“步⼊”爱河。 我知道这个要求有点⾼， 但我并不是第⼀个提出
这点的⼈。 在《我们赖以⽣存的隐喻》⼀书中， 语⾔学家马克·
约翰逊和乔治·拉克夫 提出了⼀个⾮常有趣的⽅法 来解决这⼀⽭
盾， 那就是改变我们的⽐喻。

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Day. Date.
They argue that metaphors really do shape the way we
experience the world, and that they can even act as a guide for
future actions, like self-fulfilling prophecies.
他们认为，⽐喻真的可以 左右我们感受世界的⽅式， ⽽它们甚⾄
可以成为 我们未来⾏动的指引， 就像是⾃我实现的预⾔。

Johnson and Lakoff suggest a new metaphor for love: love as a

collaborative work of art. I really like this way of thinking
about love. Linguists talk about metaphors as having
entailments, which is essentially a way of considering all the
implications of, or ideas contained within, a given metaphor.
And Johnson and Lakoff talk about everything that
collaborating on a work of art entails: effort, compromise,
patience, shared goals. These ideas align nicely with our
cultural investment in long-term romantic commitment, but
they also work well for other kinds of relationships -- short-
term, casual, polyamorous, non-monogamous, asexual --
because this metaphor brings much more complex ideas to the
experience of loving someone.
约翰逊和拉克夫提出了 爱情的⼀种新⽐喻： 爱情是⼀个合作完成
的艺术品。 我很喜欢这种看待爱情的⽅式。 语⾔学家运⽤⽐喻是
有很多内涵的， 其实就是说喻体中包含了 本体的⼏乎⼀切含义与
概念。 ⽽约翰逊和拉克夫的⽐喻涉及到了 合作创作艺术品的所有
含义： 努⼒、妥协、耐⼼、共同的⽬标等等。 这些概念与我们在
长期恋情中 做出的精神投⼊很契合， 但它们同样适⽤于 其它各种
恋爱关系—— 短期的、随意的恋情，多⾓恋， ⾮⼀夫⼀妻制，⽆
性恋…… 因为这种⽐喻在恋爱的体验中 赋予了更多复杂的概念。

So if love is a collaborative work of art, then love is an

aesthetic experience. Love is unpredictable, love is creative,
love requires communication and discipline, it is frustrating
and emotionally demanding. And love involves both joy and
pain. Ultimately, each experience of love is different.
所以假如爱情是合作完成的艺术品， 那么爱情就是⼀种美学体验。
爱情是⽆法预测的， 爱情是创造性的， 爱情需要沟通，需要规
矩， 爱情是令⼈沮丧的， 会造成很多精神压⼒。 ⽽爱情中既有
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快乐，也有痛苦。 ⽽最终，每次爱情经历都是不同的。

When I was younger, it never occurred to me that I was

allowed to demand more from love, that I didn't have to just
accept whatever love offered. When 14-year-old Juliet first
meets -- or, when 14-year-old Juliet cannot be with Romeo,
whom she has met four days ago, she does not feel
disappointed or angsty. Where is she? She wants to die. Right?
And just as a refresher, at this point in the play, act three of
five, Romeo is not dead. He's alive, he's healthy, he's just been
banished from the city. I understand that 16th-century Verona is
unlike contemporary North America, and yet when I first read
this play, also at age 14, Juliet's suffering made sense to me.
当我还年轻的时候， 我从来没想过我可以 从爱情中寻求更多， 或
者说我不需要全盘接受 爱情给我提供的感受。 当14岁的朱丽叶第
⼀次见到…… 或者说，当14岁的朱丽叶 不能和罗密欧在⼀起， 她
才认识罗密欧四天时间， 她不觉得失落或痛苦。 她怎么了？ 她想
寻死。 对吧？ ⼤家回忆⼀下， 戏剧演到这⾥的时候 是五幕中的第
三幕， 罗密欧并没有死， 他还活着， 他很健康， 他只是被驱逐出
城了。 我明⽩16世纪的维罗纳 和当今的北美⾮常不同， 然⽽当我
第⼀次读到这部戏剧， 同样也在14岁， 我觉得能够感受朱丽叶的
痛苦。

Reframing love as something I get to create with someone I

admire, rather than something that just happens to me without
my control or consent, is empowering. It's still hard. Love still
feels totally maddening and crushing some days, and when I
feel really frustrated, I have to remind myself: my job in this
relationship is to talk to my partner about what I want to make
together. This isn't easy, either. But it's just so much better than
the alternative, which is that thing that feels like madness.
把爱情当作⼀个 与我所爱的⼈共同创造的东西， ⽽不是⼀个不经
我控制或同意 就发⽣在我⾝上的东西， 这想法⾮常激动⼈⼼。 这
依然很难做到。 爱情有时候还是让我 陷⼊疯狂与痛苦， ⽽当我感
到特别沮丧时， 我必须提醒⾃⼰： 在这段关系中， 我的任务是与

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伴侣交流， 沟通我们想共同创造的东西。 其实这也不容易， 但它
已经⽐另⼀种⽅式要好很多了， 那就是将爱情当作疯狂的体验。

This version of love is not about winning or losing someone's

affection. Instead, it requires that you trust your partner and
talk about things when trusting feels difficult, which sounds so
simple, but is actually a kind of revolutionary, radical act. This
is because you get to stop thinking about yourself and what
you're gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to
start thinking about what you have to offer. This version of
love allows us to say things like, "Hey, we're not very good
collaborators. Maybe this isn't for us." Or, "That relationship
was shorter than I had planned, but it was still kind of
beautiful."
这种爱情不是为了 赢取或者失去某⼈的爱慕， ⽽是需要你相信你
的伴侣， ⽽且当遇到信任危机时冷静交流， 虽说听起来很容易，
但这实际上是 挺⾰命性、颠覆性的。 因为你可以不再纠结于⾃
⾝， 不再纠缠⾃⼰在爱情中的得与失， ⽽开始思考你可以做出什
么贡献。 这种爱情让我们可以这样说： “嘿，我们之间的合作不是
很好。 可能这不适合我们吧。” 或者说，“这段爱情 ⽐我预计的要
短⼀些， 但它还是挺美好的吧。”

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Day. Date.

帮你省钱的三个⼼理技巧
3 psychological tricks to help you save money

We all know that saving is important and is something that we

should be doing. And yet, overall, we're doing less and less of
it. We know what we need to do. The question is: How do we
do it? And that's what I'm here to teach you. Your savings
behavior isn't a question of how smart you are or how much
willpower you have. The amount we save depends on the
environmental cues around us. Let me give you an example.
我们都知道省钱很重要， 这是我们应该⼀直做的事情。 然⽽，总
的来说，我们很少这么做了。我们知道要怎么做。 问题在于：我
们该如何做？ 我在这⾥就是要回答这个问题的。你的省钱⾏为与
你的智商 或者你有多强的意志⼒⽆关。 我们能省多少钱取决于
我们周边的环境。 我来举个例⼦。

We ran a study in which, in one group, we showed people

their income on a monthly basis. In another group, we showed
people their income on a weekly basis. And what we found
was that people who saw their income on a weekly basis were
able to budget better throughout the month. Now, it's
important to know that we didn't change how much money
people were receiving, we just changed the environment in
which they understood their income. And environmental cues
like this have an impact.
我们进⾏了研究，向其中⼀组的 ⼈们展⽰他们的每⽉收⼊。 在另
⼀组，我们以周为单位 展⽰他们的收⼊。 我们的发现表明， 被
按周展⽰收⼊的⼈ 能够更好地调整整⽉的预算。 重要的是要知道
我们并没有改变⼈们拿到多少薪⽔， 我们只是改变了他们 理解收
⼊的环境。 像这样的环境线索产⽣了影响。

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Day. Date.
So I'm not going to share tricks with you that you already
know. I'm not going to tell you how to open up a savings
account or how to start saving for your retirement. What I am
going to share with you is how to bridge this gap from your
intentions to save and your actions. Are you ready?
我不打算和你们分享 你们已经知道的技巧。 我也不打算告诉你们
如何开设储蓄账户， 或者如何开始为你的退休计划存钱。 我要和
你们分享的是如何更好地 将省钱的意图 付诸⾏动。 准备好了吗？

Here's number one: harness the power of pre-commitment.

Fundamentally, we think about ourselves in two different
ways: our present self and our future self. In the future, we're
perfect. In the future, we're going to save for retirement, we're
going to lose weight, we're going to call our parents more. But
we oftentimes forget that our future self is exactly the same
person as our present self. We know that one of the best times
to save is when you get your tax return.
第⼀点： 利⽤预先承诺的⼒量。 我们通常⽤两种不同的⽅式看待
⾃⼰： 现在⾃我和未来⾃我。 在未来，我们是完美的。 在未来，
我们会为退休储蓄， 我们会减重， 会经常给⽗母打电话。 但我们
常常忘记了未来的⾃⼰ 和现在的⾃⼰根本没有差别。 我们知道，
最好的储蓄时间之⼀ 是当你收到你的纳税申报单时。

So we tried an A/B test. In the first group, we texted people in

early February, hopefully before they even filed for their
taxes. And we asked them, "If you get a tax refund, what
percentage would you like to save?" Now this is a really hard
question. They didn't know if they would receive a tax refund
or how much. But we asked the question anyway. In the
second group, we asked people right after they received their
refund, "What percentage would you like to save?"
所以我们做了个A/B测试。 在第⼀组，我们在2⽉初给⼈们发短
信， 希望赶在他们报税前。 我们问他们， “如果你得到退税， 会
把其中多少钱存起来？” 这真是个很难回答的问题。 他们不知道他
们是否会 得到退税或退了多少。 但我们还是问了这个问题。 在第

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Day. Date.
⼆组中，我们在⼈们 收到退税后问他们， “你会把多少退税存起
来？”

Now, here's what happened. In that second condition, when

people just received their tax refund, they wanted to save about
17 percent of their tax refund. But in the condition when we
asked people before they even filed their taxes, savings rates
increased from 17 percent to 27 percent when we asked in
February. Why? Because you're committing for your future
self, and of course your future self can save 27 percent. These
large changes in savings behavior came from the fact that we
changed the decision-making environment. We want you to be
able to harness that same power. So take a moment and think
about the ways in which you can sign up your future self for
something that you know today will be a little bit hard. Sign up
for an app that lets you make savings decisions in advance. The
trick is, you have to have that binding contract.
结果是这样的。 在第⼆种情况下，当⼈们收到退税时， 他们想把
退税额的17%存起来。 但在⼈们填写纳税申报前 就询问的这种情况
⾥， 当我们在2⽉询问时， 储蓄率从17%增⾄27%。 为什么有这种
差别？ 因为你对未来的⾃⼰做了承诺， 当然未来⾃⼰能够存下
27%。 这些较⼤的储蓄⾏为改变 是因为我们改变了决策环境。 我
们希望你们能够驾驭同样的⼒量。 所以花点时间 想想你可以⽤什
么⽅式让未来的⾃⼰ 去做⼀些你今天知道 会有点困难的事情。 注
册⼀个应⽤程序， 让你提前做出储蓄决定。 关键是，你的承诺要
有约束⼒。

Number two: use transition moments to your advantage. We did

an experiment with a website that helps older adults share their
housing. We ran two ads on social media, targeted to the same
population of 64-year-olds. In one group, we said, "Hey, you're
getting older. Are you ready for retirement? House sharing can
help."
第⼆点：利⽤好转型期。 我们在⼀个帮助⽼年⼈ 分享住房的⽹站
做过⼀个实验， 我们在社交媒体上投放了两个⼴告， 都针对64岁

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Day. Date.
的⼈群。 在⼀组中，我们说，“嗨，你正在⽼去。 你准备好退休了
吗？ 共享房⼦会有帮助。”

In the second group, we got a little bit more specific and said,
"You're 64 turning 65. Are you ready for retirement? House
sharing can help." What we're doing in that second group is
highlighting that a transition is happening.
在第⼆组中，我们更加具体地讲： “你现在64岁，马上就65岁。 你
准备好退休了吗？ 共享房⼦会有帮助。” 我们在第⼆组做的是 强调
转型正在发⽣。

All of a sudden, we saw click-through rates, and ultimately

sign-up rates, increase when we highlight that. In psychology,
we call this the "fresh start effect." Whether it's the start of a
new year or even a new season, your motivation to act
increases. So right now, put a meeting request on your calendar
for the day before your next birthday. Identify the one financial
thing you most want to do. And commit yourself to it.
突然之间， 当我们强调这点时，我们看到点击率和 最终的注册率
都增长了。 在⼼理学中，我们称之为“新起点效应。” 不管这是在
⼀年之初 还是在⼀个新的季度， 你⾏动的动⼒会增加。 所以现
在，在⽇历上为你下⼀个⽣⽇的 前⼀天写⼀个会议请求。 确定你
最想做的⼀件理财事项。 并尽量去实现。

The third and final trick: get a handle on small, frequent

purchases. We've run a few different studies and found that the
number one purchase people say they regret, after bank fees, is
eating out. It's a frequent purchase we make almost every day,
and it's death by a thousand cuts. A coffee here, a burrito
there ... It adds up and decreases our ability to save.
第三点和最后⼀点技巧： 控制好经常的⼩物品采购。 我们做了⼏
个不同的研究， 发现⼈们在买单后 最后悔的头号消费是 外出就
餐。 这⼏乎是我们每天都进⾏的消费， 这真是让⼈剁⼿的事情。
来杯咖啡，再来个墨西哥卷饼…… 这些加起来显著降低了 我们储
蓄的能⼒。

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Day. Date.
Back when I lived in New York City, I looked at my expenses
and saw that I spent over 2,000 dollars on ride-sharing apps. It
was more than my New York City rent. I vowed to make a
change. And the next month, I spent 2,000 dollars again -- no
change, because the information alone didn't change my
behavior. I didn't change my environment.
回到我住在纽约那阵， 我检查了⼀下我的花销， 发现我在拼车应
⽤上花了2000美元。 ⽐我在纽约的租⾦还⾼。 我发誓要做出改
变。 下个⽉，我又花了2000美元—— 没有变化，因为信息本⾝ 并
⽆法改变我的⾏为。 我没改变我的环境。

So now that I was 4,000 dollars in the hole, I did two things.
The first is that I unlinked my credit card from my car-sharing
apps. Instead, I linked a debit card that only had 300 dollars a
month. If I needed more, I had to go through the whole
process of adding a new card, and we know that every click,
every barrier, changes our behavior.
所以现在，我有4000美元的 亏空了，我做了两件事情。 第⼀件事
是我从拼车应⽤上 解绑了我的信⽤卡。 反之，我将每个⽉只有
300美元额度的借记卡绑在上⾯。 如果我需要更多， 我就得进⾏整
个添加新卡的流程， 我们知道即便是⼀个点击， ⼀个障碍，都可
以改变⾏为。

We aren't machines. We don't carry around an abacus every

day, adding up what we're spending, in comparison to what we
wanted. But what our brains are very good at is counting up
the number of times we've done something. So I gave myself a
limit. I can only use ride-sharing apps three times a week. It
forced me to ration my travels.
我们不是机器。 我们不会每天都带着算盘， 把我们花的钱加起来
和我们想花的钱做⽐较。 但我们的⼤脑很擅长 计算我们做事情的
次数。 所以我给⾃⼰设限。 我只能每周使⽤三次拼车应⽤。 这迫
使我限量出⾏。

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Day. Date.
I got a handle on my car-sharing expenses to the benefit of my
husband, because of the environmental changes that I did. So
get a handle on whatever that purchase is for you, and change
your environment to make it harder to do so.
为了我丈夫的利益，我控制住了与⼈共享汽车的费⽤， 因为我所
做的环境改变。 所以⽆论你买什么东西，都要控制好， 改变你的
环境，让你更难做这⼀点。

Those are my tips for you. But I want you to remember one
thing. As human beings, we can be irrational when it comes to
saving and spending and budgeting. But luckily, we know this
about ourselves, and we can predict how we'll act under
certain environments. Let's do that with saving. Let's change
our environment to help our future selves.
这是我给你们的提⽰。 但我想让你们记住⼀件事。 作为⼈类，在
储蓄，花费和预算⽅⾯， 我们并不理性。 但幸运的是，我们有⾃
知之明， 我们可以预测出在特定的 环境中，我们会如何⾏动。 把
这⼀点⽤在储蓄上吧。 让我们通过改变环境来 帮助未来的⾃⼰。

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Day. Date.

别让任何⼈打乱你的⽣活节奏
Don't let anyone rush you with their timelines

Good moming Year Elevens.Today's assembly is about the start

of a journey. The start of the rest of your lives.
早上好，11年级的同学们，今天的集会是关于⼀段旅程的开始，它
将开启你们今后的余⽣。

In 2 years' time, all of you will be finishing your A level. In 3

years' time, you'll be studying across the world. Studying at the
university of your choice. In 5 years time, you'll have started
your careers. Many of you will be in this room working for the
top institutions across the glob. You will then get married. You
then may buy a house. In 10 years' time, your life will be set
for you. In 15 years you'll be thirty and from then on your path
and your life will be set.
再过两年，你们将完成A levels的学业。再过三年，你们将前往⾃⼰
想去的国家，上⾃⼰想上的⼤学。再过五年，你们将开始了⾃⼰的
职业⽣涯。你们在座的很多同学会进⼊世界顶尖公司⼯作。然后你
们会结婚，买房。⼗年之后，你的⼈⽣就会安定下来。⼗五年之
后，你就三⼗岁了，你之后的⼈⽣轨迹就会定型。

I'm sorry Mr. Headmaster. Let me tell you why that

approach may fail you.I know people who graduated at 21
and didn't get a job till they were 27. I know people who
graduated late at 25 and they found work immediately.
抱歉，校长，让我告诉你为什么这种⽅法可能是错的。有的⼈21岁
毕业，到27 岁才找到⼯作。有的⼈25岁才毕业，就马上找到了⼯
作。

I know people who never went to university, but found what

they love at 18. I know people who found a job straight out of
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college making decent money, but hate what they do. I know
people who took gap years and found their purpose.
有的⼈没上过⼤学，却在18岁就找到了⾃⼰热爱的事。有的⼈毕业
就找到了好⼯作，赚了很多钱，却讨厌⾃⼰所做的事。有的⼈选择
暂时休学，寻找到了⼈⽣的⽬的。

I know people who were so sure about what they were going
to do at 16 and changed their minds at 26. I know people who
have children but are single. And I know people who are
married but had to wait 8 to 10 years to have children. I know
people in relationships who love someone else. I know people
who love each other but aren't together.
有的⼈在16岁就清楚⾃⼰⼲要什么，但在26岁时改变了想法。有的
⼈有了孩⼦，却还是单⾝。有的⼈结了婚，却等了10年才⽣孩⼦。
有的⼈⾝处⼀段感情，爱的却是别⼈。有的⼈明明彼此相爱，却没
有在⼀起。

So my point is everything in life happens according to our

time, our clock You may look at some of your friends and
think that they are ahead of you or maybe some of them you
feel are behind. But everything happens at their own pace.
They have their own time and clock and so do you. Be patient.
所以我想说的是，⼈⽣中发⽣的每⼀件事都取决于我们⾃⼰的时间
轴。你⾝边有的朋友也许遥遥领先于你。有些朋友也许落后于你，
但凡事都有它⾃⼰的节奏。他们有他们的节奏, 你有你⾃⼰的。耐
⼼⼀点。

At age 25, Mark Cuban was a bartender in Dallas.It took till 32

for J.K. Rowling to be published for Hanry Potter after being
rejected by 12 publishers. Ortega launched Zara when he was
39. Jack Ma started Alibaba when he was 35. Morgan Freeman
got his big break at 52. Steve Carell only got his break after 40
years old.Virgin was started by Richard Branson at 34.
马克库班(NBA⼩⽜队⽼板) 25岁的时候还在酒吧做酒保。在被拒12
次之后，JK 罗琳到32岁才出版了哈利波特。Ortega到39岁才创办了
ZARA。马云35岁才建⽴了阿⾥巴巴。摩根佛⾥曼到52岁才迎来他
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演艺事业的⼤爆发。Steve Carell (神偷奶爸配⾳男主) 40 岁才红。
Richard Branson 34 岁才创办维珍航空。

Getting your degree after 25 is still an achievement. Not being

married at 30 but still happy is beautiful. Stating a family after
35 is still possible. And buying a house after 40 is still great.
25岁后才拿到⽂凭，依然是不错的成就。30岁没结婚但过得快乐，
⼀样很美好。35岁之后成家也完全可以。40 岁买房也没什么不好
的。

Don't let anvone rush you with their timelines Because as

Einstein said. "Not everything that counts can be counted, and
not everything that's counted truly counts.''
不要让任何⼈扰乱你⾃⼰的时间轴。因为爱因斯坦曾经说过:并不
是每-件可以被计算的出来的事，都有意义，也不是每⼀件有意义
的事，都能够被计算出来。

And this is the most important thing. I want you to be able to

create meaningful, purposeful, fulfilling lives for yourselves
and learn how to use that to make an impact and a difference in
the lives of others.
这才是最重要的事，我希望你们可以创造属于⾃⼰的充满意义的⼈
⽣,并学会去影响，点亮他⼈的⽣活。这才是真正的成功。

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Day. Date.

别陷⼊“温⽔煮⻘蛙”
What frogs in hot water can teach us about
thinking again
You might have heard that if you drop a frog in a pot of boiling
water, it will jump out right away, but if you put it in lukewarm
water, and then slowly heat it up, the frog won't survive. The
frog's big problem is that it lacks the ability to rethink the
situation. It doesn’t realize that the warm bath is becoming a
death trap -- until it’s too late.
你可能听说过，如果把⼀只青蛙丢进开⽔⾥， 它会被烫得⽴刻跳出
来， 但如果把它丢进微温的⽔⾥， 然后慢慢把⽔加热， 青蛙就会
被煮熟⽽死。 青蛙最⼤的问题在于 它没有重新思考⾃⼰处境的能
⼒。 它没有意识到这锅温⽔ 渐渐成为了⾃⼰的葬⾝之地， 等反应
过来已经太迟了。

Humans might be smarter than frogs, but our world is full of

slow-boiling pots. Think about how slow people were to react
to warnings about a pandemic, climate change or a democracy
in peril. We fail to recognize the danger because we're reluctant
to rethink the situation.
⼈类虽然⽐青蛙要聪明， 但我们的世界也有很多类似的⼀锅锅“温
⽔”。 ⼈们的反应往往很迟钝， 不管是⾯对⼀场全球⼤流⾏病， 还
是⽓候变暖，或者民主政治受到威胁。 我们⽆法意识到这些威胁，
因为我们不愿意换个⾓度重新审视。

We struggle with rethinking in all kinds of situations. We

expect our squeaky brakes to keep working, until they finally
fail on the freeway. We believe the stock market will keep
going up, even after we hear about a real-estate bubble. And we
keep watching "Game of Thrones" even after the show jumps
the shark.
在各种场景下我们都会固执⼰见。 我们觉得车上嘎吱作响的刹车还
能继续⽤， 直到它们在⾼速公路上失灵。 我们坚信股价会⼀直上

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涨， 就算听说有房地产泡沫也绝不改⼜。 《权⼒的游戏》每季质
量越来越差， 我们还⽼是追着不放。

Rethinking isn't a hurdle in every part of our lives. We're

happy to refresh our wardrobes and renovate our kitchens. But
when it comes to our goals, identities and habits, we tend to
stick to our guns. And in a rapidly changing world, that's a
huge problem.
⽣活中不是所有的⽅⾯都存在这个问题。 我们很乐意给⾐柜⾥添
新⾐， 或者修缮家⾥的厨房。 但是涉及到我们的个⼈⽬标、⾝
份、习惯时， 我们往往会特别固执。 在这个迅速变化的⼤千世
界， 这是⼀个很⼤的问题。:21

I'm an organizational psychologist. It's my job to rethink how

we work, lead and live. But that hasn't stopped me from
getting stuck in slow-boiling pots, so I started studying why. I
learned that intelligence doesn't help us escape; sometimes, it
traps us longer. Being good at thinking can make you worse at
rethinking. There's evidence that the smarter you are, the more
likely you are to fall victim to the "I'm not biased" bias. You
can always find reasons to convince yourself you're on the
right path, which is exactly what my friends and I did on a trip
to Panama.
我是⼀名组织⼼理学家。 我的职责就是去重新思考 我们⼯作、⽣
活、领导的⽅式。 然⽽这没有使我⾃⼰ 逃脱“温⽔煮青蛙”的困
境。 于是我开始研究其中原因。 我了解到，智⼒本⾝⽆法让我们
脱困； 有时，它会让我们困得更久。 善于思考可能会让⼈不善于
重新思考。 有证据显⽰，⼀个⼈越聪明， 就越有可能陷⼊“我不会
带有偏见”这种偏见。 你总可以找到理由 说服⾃⼰，以为⾃⼰的思
路是正确的， 我和朋友的⼀次巴拿马之⾏就出现了这种情况。

I worked my way through college, and by my junior year, I'd

finally saved enough money to travel. It was my first time
leaving North America. I was excited for my first time
climbing a mountain, actually an active volcano, literally a

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slow-boiling pot. I set a goal to reach the summit and look into
the crater.
我在⼤学期间⼀直兼职打⼯， 到了⼤三那年终于存够了钱出国旅
游。 那是我第⼀次离开北美洲。 我特别期待第⼀次爬上⾼⼭， 那
座⼭恰巧是座活⽕⼭，简直跟⼀锅温⽔⽆异。 我定了⼀个⽬标，
要爬到⼭顶， 看看⽕⼭⼜⾥是什么样。

So, we're in Panama, we get off to a late start, but it's only
supposed to take about two hours to get to the top. After four
hours, we still haven't reached the top. It's a little strange that
it's taking so long, but we don't stop to rethink whether we
should turn around. We've already come so far. We have to
make it to the top. Do not stand between me and my goal. We
don't realize we've read the wrong map. We're on Panama's
highest mountain, it actually takes six to eight hours to hike to
the top. By the time we finally reach the summit, the sun is
setting. We're stranded, with no food, no water, no cell phones,
and no energy for the hike down.
于是我们到了巴拿马，我们去到⼭脚时有点迟， 不过理论上只需
要两个⼩时就能登顶。然⽽四个⼩时之后，我们还在半⼭腰上。
花那么长时间感觉有点奇怪， 但我们完全没停下来思考要不要转
⾝下⼭。 我们已经爬了这么久了。 我们必须要登到顶峰。 谁都不
能阻⽌我。 我们没意识到，我们看的地图是错的。 我们来到的是
巴拿马最⾼峰， 登顶需要6到8个⼩时的时间。 当我们终于爬到顶
时， 太阳已经下⼭了。 我们困在⼭顶，没吃没喝，没有⼿机， 也
完全没有下⼭的体能了。

There's a name for this kind of mistake, it's called "escalation

of commitment to a losing course of action." It happens when
you make an initial investment of time or money, and then you
find out it might have been a bad choice, but instead of
rethinking it, you double down and invest more. You want to
prove to yourself and everyone else that you made a good
decision. Escalation of commitment explains so many familiar
examples of businesses plummeting.

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Day. Date.
这类的错误有⼀个统称， 叫做“为失败的决策加倍投⼊”。 它的意
思是，当你在某件事上 已经投⼊了⼀定的⾦钱或精⼒， 但之后发
现这件事做下去会导致失败， 你反⽽选择加倍投⼊， ⽽不是重新
思考⾃⼰的决定。 你想向⾃⼰和别⼈证明 你做的决定是正确的。
如此的加倍投⼊ 常常出现在商界各个衰落的⼤企业⾝上。

Blockbuster, BlackBerry, Kodak. Leaders just kept simmering

in their slow-boiling pots, failing to rethink their strategies.
Escalation of commitment explains why you might have stuck
around too long in a miserable job, why you've probably
waited for a table way too long at a restaurant and why you
might have hung on to a bad relationship long after your
friends encouraged you to leave.
⽐如百视达、⿊莓、柯达。 企业⾼层⼀直在温⽔⾥被反复炖煮，
未曾思考过转变航向。 如此的加倍投⼊ 可能导致你卡在糟糕的⼯
作岗位却不愿离开， 在餐厅门⼜排长队等了太长时间， 或者是坚
决不愿结束⼀段不顺⼼的恋情， 即使朋友们已经多次劝你与对⽅
分⼿。

It's hard to admit that we were wrong and that we might have
even wasted years of our lives. So we tell ourselves, "If I just
try harder, I can turn this around."
我们很难承认⾃⼰犯了错， 更难承认⾃⼰可能已经因此浪费了多
年时光。 于是我们安慰⾃⼰， “如果我再⽤功⼀点，我⼀定可以扭
转局⾯。”

We live in a culture that worships at the altar of hustle and

prays to the high priest of grit. But sometimes, that leads us to
keep going when we should stop to think again. Experiments
show that gritty people are more likely to overplay their hands
in casino games and more likely to keep trying to solve
impossible puzzles. My colleagues and I have found that NBA
basketball coaches who are determined to develop the
potential in rookies keep them around much longer than their
performance justifies.

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Day. Date.
我们的社会⽂化崇尚奋⽃、拼搏， 崇尚坚韧不拔的精神。 但有时
候，这会让我们盲⽬向前， 忘记了停下脚步、重新思考。 实验证
明，性格坚毅的⼈ 更有可能在赌博游戏中下过⾼的赌注， 也更有
可能在客观⽆解的谜题上花更多时间。 我和我的同事发现 美国职
业篮球的⼀些教练 特别坚决地想发掘、培养新秀球员的潜⼒， 即
使球员表现糟糕， 教练还会让他们长时间上场。

And researchers have even suggested that the most tenacious

mountaineers are more likely to die on expeditions, because
they're determined to do whatever it takes to reach the summit.
有另外的研究还表明 最有毅⼒的登⼭者也最有可能死在登⼭途
中， 因为他们下定了决⼼，⽆论如何都要攀到⼭顶。

In Panama, my friends and I got lucky. About an hour into our

descent, a lone pickup truck came down the volcano and
rescued us from our slow-boiling pot. There's a fine line
between heroic persistence and stubborn stupidity. Sometimes
the best kind of grit is gritting your teeth and packing your
bags. "Never give up" doesn't mean "keep doing the thing
that's failing." It means "don't get locked into one narrow path,
and stay open to broadening your goals. The ultimate goal is to
make it down the mountain, not just to reach the top. Your
goals can give you tunnel vision, blinding you to rethinking the
situation.
回到巴拿马，我和朋友幸亏运⽓好。 我们开始下⼭⼀个⼩时后，
⼀辆孤零零的⽪卡车正好从⽕⼭开下来， 把我们从这锅温⽔中解
救了。 英勇的坚持不懈与愚昧的顽固不化 只有⾮常细微的区别。
有时候最好的勇⽓ 就是⼀咬⽛，决定知难⽽退。 “永不放弃”并不
意味着 “不断尝试注定会失败的事”。 它其实意味着：不要被⼀条
狭窄的道路所困， ⽽要保持开放⼼态，不断拓展⾃⼰的⽬标。 毕
竟最终的⽬的是要顺利下⼭， 并不是登到⼭顶就结束了。 你设定
的⽬标容易给你⼀孔之见， 使你盲⽬⽽⽆法重新审视局⾯。

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Day. Date.
And it's not just goals that can cause this kind of
shortsightedness, it's your identity too. As a kid, my identity
was wrapped up in sports. I spent countless hours shooting
hoops on my driveway, and then I got cut from the middle
school basketball team, all three years.
这种短见不仅是由设⽴的⽬标所造成的， ⾃⼰的⾝份也是原因之
⼀。 我还⼩的时候，我给⾃⼰的定位 就是超级体育迷。 我花了⽆
数个⼩时在家门⼜训练投篮， 然⽽后来连续三年没被我们中学篮
球队选中。

I spent a decade playing soccer, but I didn't make the high

school team. At that point, I shifted my focus to a new sport,
diving. I was bad, I walked like Frankenstein, I couldn't jump,
I could hardly touch my toes without bending my knees, and I
was afraid of heights.
我踢⾜球也踢了⼗年时间， 结果也没被⾼中⾜球队选中。 在那之
后，我把⾃⼰的重⼼转移到 ⼀项新的运动：跳⽔。 我跳得很差
劲， 我助跑僵硬得像机器⼈，根本跳不起来， 如果不屈膝的话我
⼏乎摸不到脚趾头， ⽽且我还恐⾼。

But I was determined. I stayed at the pool until it was dark,

and my coach kicked me out of practice. I knew that the seeds
of greatness are planted in the daily grind, and eventually, my
hard work paid off. By my senior year, I made the All-
American list, and I qualified for the Junior Olympic
Nationals. I was obsessed with diving. It was more than
something I did, it became who I was. Diving gave me a way
to fit in and to stand out. I had a team where I belonged and a
rare skill to share. I had people rooting for me and control over
my own progress.
不过我早已下定决⼼了。 我在跳⽔池训练到天⿊， 直到我们教练
把我赶出场。我知道我每天的不懈努⼒ ⼀定会让我成就⼀番伟⼤
事业， 最终，我的付出有了回报。 在我⾼中四年级时，我⼊选了
全美⼤名单， 还成为了青年奥运会国家队的⼀员。 我全⾝⼼投⼊
在跳⽔中。 它不仅仅是我做的⼀项运动了， 跳⽔已成为我⽣命的

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⼀部分。跳⽔使我能够融⼊集体、展现⾃我。 我在跳⽔队中很有
归属感， 我的⽔平也⼗分出⾊。 有许多⼈为我加油⿎劲， 我的进
步也尽在⾃⼰掌握之中。

But when I got to college, the sport that I loved became

something I started to dread. At that level, I could not beat
more talented divers by outworking them. I was supposed to
be doing higher dives, but I was still afraid of heights, and 6am
practice was brutal.
然⽽当我到了⼤学， 我所热爱的这项运动逐渐变成⼀个噩梦。 在
⼤学级别， 我没法纯靠努⼒击败更有天赋的选⼿。 我本应该继续
挑战更⾼的⾼度， 然⽽我还是有恐⾼的⽑病， ⽽且早上6点起来训
练实在太⾟苦。

My mind was awake, but my muscles were still asleep. I did

back smacks and belly flops and my slow-boiling pot this time
was a freezing pool. There was one question, though, that
stopped me from rethinking. "If I'm not a diver, who am I?" In
psychology, there's a term for this kind of failure to rethink --
it's called "identity foreclosure." It's when you settle
prematurely on a sense of who you are and close your mind to
alternative selves.
我的⼤脑已经清醒了，但肌⾁还没完全活过来。 我经常背部着地
或者肚⽪着地， 我意识到这次的⼀锅“温⽔” 就是这个冰冷的跳⽔
池。 然⽽有这么⼀个问题， 让我很不愿意重新审视局⾯。 “如果
我不跳⽔的话，那我还能是谁？” 在⼼理学中，有个术语就是描述
这种不愿重新思考的⼼态， 它叫做“同⼀性早闭”。 它的意思是你
过早地承认了⾃⼰的⾝份与个性， ⽽不再选择探寻新的⾃我。

You've probably experienced identity foreclosure. Maybe you

were too attached to an early idea of what school you'd go to,
what kind of person you'd marry, or what career you'd choose.
Foreclosing on one identity is like following a GPS that gives
you the right directions to the wrong destination. After my
freshman year of college, I rethought my identity. I realized
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Day. Date.
that diving was a passion, not a purpose. My values were to
grow and excel, and to contribute to helping my teammates
grow and excel. Grow, excel, contribute. I didn't have to be a
diver to grow, excel and contribute.
你可能就经历过同⼀性早闭。 或许你曾⾮常执著于 ⾃⼰之后想上
哪⼀所学校， 想娶或者想嫁给什么样的⼈， 或者想做⼀份什么样
的⼯作。 对同⼀性的这种早闭就像跟着GPS导航， 它给你指的是
正确的路，但⽬的地却是错的。 在我⼤⼀年级之后，我重新思考了
我的⾝份。 我意识到跳⽔是我的热情， 不是⾃⼰的⼈⽣意义。 我
的价值观是让⾃⼰不断成长、出众， 同时做出贡献，让我的队友也
成长、出众。 成长、出众、贡献。 我不需要去跳⽔也能做到成
长、出众、贡献。

Research suggests that instead of foreclosing on one identity,

we're better off trying on a range of possible selves. Retiring
from diving freed me up to spend the summer doing
psychology research and working as a diving coach. It also
gave me time to concentrate on my dorkiest hobby, performing
as a magician. I'm still working on my sleight of hand.
Opening my mind to new identities opened new doors.
Research showed me that I enjoyed creating knowledge, not
just consuming it. Coaching and performing helped me see
myself as a teacher and an entertainer. If that hadn't happened,
I might not have become a psychologist and a professor, and I
probably wouldn't be giving this TED talk.
研究表明，相⽐于同⼀性早闭， 积极探索多种可能的⾃我会对我们
更有好处。 从跳⽔运动退役 让我在暑假有时间去做⼼理学科研，
同时还兼职做了跳⽔教练。 我也有空去研究我另⼀个傻乎乎的兴趣
爱好： 魔术表演。 我的⼿法还需要不少练习呢。 对新的⾃我敞开
怀抱让我找到了新的⼈⽣路。 我的研究表明我⾃⼰热爱创造知识，
⽽不只是消费知识。 做教练以及表演魔术 让我看到⾃⼰作为教
师、表演者的样⼦。 如果没有这些经历， 我很可能不会成为⼼理
学家、教授， 我也⼤概率不会来做这个TED演讲了。

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Day. Date.
See, I'm an introvert, and when I first started teaching, I was
afraid of public speaking. I had a mentor, Jane Dutton, who
gave me some invaluable advice. She said, "You have to
unleash your inner magician." So I turned my class into a live
show.
我其实是个内向的⼈， 在我刚开始给同学上课的时候， 我其实很
害怕公众演讲。 我的⼀位导师，简·达顿， 教给我⼀些⾮常宝贵
的经验。 她说：“你要把内⼼的魔术师展现出来。” 于是我把我的
课堂变成了现场表演。

Before the first day, I memorized my students' names and

backgrounds, and then, I mastered my routine. Those habits
served me well. I started to relax more and I started to get good
ratings. But just like with goals and identities, the routines that
help us today can become the ruts we get trapped in tomorrow.
在第⼀课之前，我会记住 每个学⽣的名字和背景， 再之后，我精
通了整个流程。 养成这些习惯对我很有好处。 我讲课变得越来越
⾃如， 我的教师评分也逐渐提升了。 但就好像个⼈⽬标、⾝份⼀
样， 这些流程现在有好处， 但慢慢地总会变得枯燥⽽僵化。

One day, I taught a class on the importance of rethinking, and

afterward, a student came up and said, "You know, you're not
following your own principles." They say feedback is a gift,
but right then, I wondered, "How do I return this?" (Takes a
breath) I was teaching the same material, the same way, year
after year. I didn't want to give up on a performance that was
working. I had my act down.
有⼀天，我在课上讲重新思考的重要性， 下课后，⼀个同学上前
来跟我说： “你有没有发现， 你⾃⼰并没遵循课上教的内容。” ⼤
家都说反馈是⼀份礼物， 但就在那⼀刻，我脑⼦⾥却想： “这我不
知道怎么接？” （深呼吸） 年复⼀年，我都在⽤同样的⽅式讲同样
的内容。 我不愿意放弃⾏之有效的教学/表演⽅式。 我的表演⼗分
精彩。

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Even good habits can stand in the way of rethinking. There's a
name for that too. It's called "cognitive entrenchment," where
you get stuck in the way you've always done things. Just
thinking about rethinking made me defensive. And then, I went
through the stages of grief. I happened to be doing some
research on emotion regulation at the time, and it came in
handy.
即使这样的好习惯也会成为重新思考的绊脚⽯。 这种现象也有个
名字， 叫做“认知固守”， 意味着你总是脱不开⾃⼰⼀贯的做事⽅
式。 光是提到“重新思考”这个词 都会觉得特别反感。 之后，我为
此经历了漫长的⼼路历程。 我当时恰巧在做⼀个跟情绪调节相关
的研究， 在这⾥派上了⽤场。

Although you don't always get to choose the emotions you

feel, you do get to pick which ones you internalize and which
ones you express.I started to see emotions as works in
progress, kind of like art. If you were a painter, you probably
wouldn't frame your first sketch. Your initial feelings are just a
rough draft. As you gain perspective, you can rethink and
revise what you feel.
虽然你并不⼀定能掌控 ⾃⼰感受到什么样的情绪， 但你可以选择
⾃⼰想内化哪些情绪， 以及想表达哪些情绪。 我逐渐开始把情绪
当成⼀种“半成品”， 像艺术作品⼀样。如果你是⼀名画家， 你⼤
概率不会把⾃⼰的初稿给裱起来。 你最初的情绪感受只是草稿⽽
已。 当你从多个⾓度思考， 你就可以审视并修改⾃⼰感受的情
绪。

So that's what I did. Instead of defensiveness, I tried curiosity. I

wondered, "What would happen if I became the student?" I
threw out my plan for one day of class, and I invited the
students to design their own session. The first year, they wrote
letters to their freshman selves, about what they wish they’d
rethought or known sooner. The next year, they gave passion
talks. They each had one minute to share something they loved
or cared about deeply.

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这就是我当时做的了。 与其选择抗拒，我试着感受“好奇”。 我⼼
想：“假如我变成听课的学⽣， 会发⽣什么呢？” 有⼀天，我把课程
的教案彻底置之脑后， 然后请同学们⾃⼰设计课程的模式。 第⼀
年，同学们给⼤⼀刚⼊学的⾃⼰写信， 告诉当时的⾃⼰应该反思些
啥、提早知道些啥。 下⼀年，同学们做了“热情演讲”。 每个⼈花⼀
分钟的时间 给⼤家介绍⾃⼰⾮常热爱的⼀件事物。

And now, all my students give passion talks to introduce

themselves to the class. I believe that good teachers introduce
new thoughts but great teachers introduce new ways of
thinking.
现在，我课上的所有同学 都靠“热情演讲”来做⾃我介绍。 我认为好
的⽼师会给同学讲述新思想， ⽽真正优秀的⽼师会讲述新的思维⽅
式。

But it wasn't until I ceded control that I truly understood how

much my students had to teach one another, and me. Ever since
then, I put an annual reminder in my calendar to rethink what
and how I teach.It's a checkup. Just when you go to the doctor
for an annual checkup when nothing seems to be wrong, you
can do the same thing in the important parts of your life. A
career checkup to consider how your goals are shifting. A
relationship checkup to re-examine your habits.
直到我对课程框架结构彻底放⼿， 我才真正意识到 我的学⽣们互
相教授，以及教授给我的知识 是⽆穷⽆尽的。 在那之后， 我每年
都会预留⼀段时间 重新思考我上课的内容和⽅式。这是我的例⾏检
查。 就好像每年都会去做⼀次体检⼀样， 即使没有⽣病也会去，
我们对⼈⽣中重要的事情也可以做这样的检查。 ⽐如检查⾃⼰的职
业、⼯作状态， 思考个⼈⽬标是否改变了。 检查⼈际关系，重新
思考⾃⼰的⽣活习惯。

An identity checkup to consider how your values are evolving.

Rethinking does not have to change your mind -- it just means
taking time to reflect and staying open to reconsidering.

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A hallmark of wisdom is knowing when to grit and when to
quit, when to throw in the towel on an old identity and dive
into a new one, when to walk away from some old habits and
start scaling a new mountain. Your past can weigh you down,
and rethinking can liberate you.
检查个⼈⾝份、定位， 思考⾃⼰的价值观有没有变化。 重新思考
并不⼀定会让你改变主意， 它只是让你花时间去反思， 使你乐于
接受改变。 智慧的重要体现 就是知道啥时埋头苦⼲，啥时知难⽽
退； 啥时该抛弃⾃⼰曾经的定位， 转⽽迎接新的⾃我； 啥时该摒
弃⼀些旧的习惯， 去挑战⼀些新的事物。 你的过往是⼀种包袱，
重新思考能使你挣脱桎梏。

Rethinking is not just a skill to master personally, it's a value

we need to embrace culturally. We live in a world that mistakes
confidence for competence, that pressures us to favor the
comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt, that
accuses people who change their minds of flip-flopping, when
in fact, they might be learning. So let's talk about how to make
rethinking the norm. We need to invite it and to model it.
重新思考不只是我们个⼈要掌握的技能， 我们也要从⽂化层⾯⿎
励推⾏这种价值。 我们现在的世界常常把⾃信误以为是实⼒， 这
使得我们更容易固执⼰见， ⽽对质疑、追问感到不适， 也使得我
们看不起改变主意的⼈， 觉得他们思想不坚定， 然⽽事实上，他
们可能在持续学习新知识。 所以说，我们要讨论怎样让重新思考
变成习惯。 为此我们要互相⿎励、效仿。

A few years ago, some of our students at Wharton challenged

the faculty to do that. They asked us to record our own version
of Jimmy Kimmel's Mean Tweets. We took the worst feedback
we'd ever received on student course evaluations, and we read
it out loud.
⼏年前， 我们在沃顿商学院的⼀些学⽣ 向我们教职⼯发起了挑
战。 他们想让我们录⼀段视频， 模仿“吉⽶鸡⽑秀”⾥的 名⼈嘉宾
“恶⾔恶语”板块。 我们去找⾃⼰收到的最差的课程评估， 学⽣每
个学期都会写， 然后我们亲⼜读出来。

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Angela Duckworth: “It was easily one of the worst three classes
I’ve ever taken... one of which the professor was let go after the
semester.”
安吉拉·达克沃斯：“这堂课绝对是我 上过的最垃圾的三门课之
⼀， 其中⼀门课的⽼师在学期结束后被炒鱿鱼了。”

Mohamed El-Erian: “The number of stories you tell give

‘Aesop’s Fables’ a run for its money. Less can be more.” Ouch.
穆罕默德·艾尔-艾⾥恩：“你课上讲的天⽅夜谭 跟《伊索寓⾔》简
直有得⼀拼。 少说点可能更好。” 哎哟。

Adam Grant: “You’re so nervous you’re causing us to

physically shake in our seats.”
亚当·格兰特：“你上课的时候紧张得要命， 我们坐在凳⼦上都控
制不住地发抖。”

Mae McDonnell: “So great to finally have a professor from

Australia. You started strong but then got softer. You need
tenure, so toughen up with these brats.” I'm from Alabama.
梅·麦克唐纳：“我们总算有个澳洲的⽼师了。 你学期开头很给
⼒，越到结尾越疲软。 你要想当终⾝教授， 最好赶紧治治你的捣蛋
学⽣。” 我⽼家是阿拉巴马州的。

Michael Sinkinson: “Prof Sinkinson acts all down with pop

culture but secretly thinks Ariana Grande is a font in Microsoft
Word.”
迈克尔·⾟⾦森：“⾟⾦森教授嘴上说⾃⼰对流⾏⽂化了如指掌，实
际上却以为爱莉安娜·格兰德是Word⽂档⾥某个字体的名称。”

AG: After I show these clips in class, students give more

thoughtful feedback. They rethink what's relevant. They also
become more comfortable telling me what to think, because I'm
not just claiming I'm receptive to criticism. I'm demonstrating
that I can take it. We need that kind of openness in schools, in
families, in businesses, in governments, in nonprofits.

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格兰特：当我在课上播完这些视频之后， 同学们给了我们更有价值
的反馈。 他们思考了哪些反馈是有关、有⽤的。 他们也更愿意来
告诉我他们的所思所想， 因为我不只是⼜⼜声声说⾃⼰愿意听取批
评。 我展⽰了⾃⼰能够直⾯这些批评。 这种透明度需要贯彻到各
所学校， 乃⾄我们的家庭、公司、 政府、⾮营利组织之中。

A couple of years ago, I was working on a project for the Gates

Foundation, and I suggested that leaders could record their own
version of Mean Tweets. Melinda Gates volunteered to go first,
and one of the points of feedback that she read said "Melinda is
like Mary effing Poppins. Practically perfect in every way."
And then, she started listing her imperfections. People at the
Gates Foundation who saw that video ended up becoming more
willing to recognize and overcome their own limitations. They
were also more likely to speak up about problems and
solutions. What Melinda was modeling was confident humility.
⼏年前，我在给盖茨基⾦会做⼀个项⽬，我当时就建议基⾦会领导
⼈也录⼀段类似的“恶⾔恶语”视频。梅琳达·盖茨⾃愿第⼀个读，
她读到的其中⼀点反馈： “梅琳达⾃以为跟超级保姆玛丽包萍⼀
样：⼀切的⼀切都⽆可挑剔。”⽽紧接着，她就开始列举⾃⼰的诸
多不⾜之处。盖茨基⾦会⾥看过这段视频的⼈后来都变得更加愿意
去找到并且克服⾃⼰的不⾜与限制。他们也变得更积极主动地提出
问题并提供个⼈见解。梅琳达展现的就是⼀个⾃信⽽谦逊的形象。

Confident humility is being secure enough in your strengths to

acknowledge your weaknesses. Believing that the best way to
prove yourself is to improve yourself, knowing that weak
leaders silence their critics and make themselves weaker, while
strong leaders engage their critics and make themselves
stronger. Confident humility gives you the courage to say "I
don't know," instead of pretending to have all the answers.
⾃信的谦逊是在你对⾃⼰的长处 拥有⾜够安全感时， 可以⼤胆承
认⾃⼰的不⾜。 相信最好的证明⾃我的⽅式就是不断提升⾃我，
软弱的领导者只会封住批评者的嘴， 却使⾃⼰显得更加软弱， ⽽
强有⼒的领导者直⾯任何批评， 让⾃⼰变得更强有⼒。 ⾃信的谦

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逊让你敢于说“我不知道”， ⽽不是假装⾃⼰什么都会。

To say "I was wrong," instead of insisting you were right. It

encourages you to listen to ideas that make you think hard, not
just the ones that make you feel good, and to surround yourself
with people who challenge your thought process, not just the
ones who agree with your conclusions. And sometimes, it even
leads you to challenge your own conclusions, like with the
story about the frog that can't survive the slow-boiling pot.
你会说“我犯了错”，⽽不坚称⾃⼰总是对的。 它⿎励你听取各⽅的
意见， 并推动你积极思考， ⽽不只听取让⾃⼰⾼兴的甜⾔蜜语。
它还使你⾝边充满更多 有能⼒挑战你的思维⽅式的⼈， ⽽不只是
那些只会满⼜答应的⼈。 有时候，它甚⾄会让你挑战⾃⼰的结
论， 就好⽐“青蛙会被温⽔煮熟”这个结论。

I found out recently that's a myth. If you heat up the water, the
frog will jump out as soon as it gets uncomfortably warm. Of
course it jumps out, it's not an idiot. The problem is not the
frog, it's us. Once we accept the story as true, we don't bother
to think again. What if we were more like the frog, ready to
jump out if the water gets too warm? We need to be quick to
rethink.
我最近才发现这完全是个流⾔。 如果你把⽔加热， 青蛙在⽔太烫
时就⽴刻跳出来了。 它当然会跳出来啦，它又不是傻⼦！ 问题并
不在青蛙⾝上，⽽在我们⾝上。 ⼀旦我们接受这个故事确有其
事， 我们就懒得重新思考了。 假如我们更像青蛙⼀样， ⽔温过⾼
时及时跳出，会怎么样呢？ 我们要随时准备好重新思考。

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Day. Date.

别再emo了，教你治愈⼼碎
How to fix a broken heard

At some point in our lives, almost every one of us will have

our heart broken.
在我们⼀⽣中的某个时刻， 差不多每个⼈都经历过⼼碎。

My patient Kathy planned her wedding when she was in

middle school. She would meet her future husband by age
27, get engaged a year later and get married a year after that.
But when Kathy turned 27, she didn't find a husband. She
found a lump in her breast. She went through many months
of harsh chemotherapy and painful surgeries, and then just as
she was ready to jump back into the dating world, she found
a lump in her other breast and had to do it all over again.
Kathy recovered, though, and she was eager to resume her
search for a husband as soon as her eyebrows grew back in.
When you're going on first dates in New York City, you need
to be able to express a wide range of emotions.
我的病⼈凯蒂中学时 就开始为她的婚礼做计划。 她想27岁时就
遇见她的 未来丈夫， ⼀年后订婚， 最后在接下来的⼀年结婚。
但是当凯蒂27岁时， 她并没找到丈夫。 她发现她的乳房有肿
块。 她必须捱过多个⽉的严酷化疗 以及痛不欲⽣的⼿术， 当她
准备好重新开始约会时， 她又发现另⼀个乳房有肿块， ⽽又要
再重新进⾏治疗。 凯蒂最终康复， 她迫不及待地重返 寻找丈夫
这个任务， 在她的眉⽑长回后就⽴即开始。 你在纽约第⼀次约
会， 必须能表达多样化的感情。

Soon afterwards, she met Rich and fell in love. The

relationship was everything she hoped it would be. Six
months later, after a lovely weekend in New England, Rich
made reservations at their favorite romantic restaurant.

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不久之后，她遇见了瑞奇， 两⼈堕⼊爱河。 这段感情是她梦寐以
求的。 六个⽉后， 在新英格兰度过了 甜美的周末后， 瑞奇在他们
最喜欢的 浪漫餐厅做了预订。

Kathy knew he was going to propose, and she could barely

contain her excitement. But Rich did not propose to Kathy that
night. He broke up with her. As deeply as he cared for Kathy --
and he did -- he simply wasn't in love.
凯蒂知道他将会向她求婚， 她⼏乎⽆法压抑她的兴奋感。但是那
天晚上瑞奇 并没向凯蒂求婚。 他跟凯蒂分⼿了。 尽管瑞奇⾮常关
⼼凯蒂 ——确实如此—— 但他就是没爱上凯蒂。

Kathy was shattered. Her heart was truly broken, and she now
faced yet another recovery. But five months after the breakup,
Kathy still couldn't stop thinking about Rich. Her heart was
still very much broken. The question is: Why? Why was this
incredibly strong and determined woman unable to marshal the
same emotional resources that got her through four years of
cancer treatments? Why do so many of us flounder when we're
trying to recover from heartbreak? Why do the same coping
mechanisms that get us through all kinds of life challenges fail
us so miserably when our heart gets broken?
凯蒂⼼碎万分。 她的⼼彻底碎了， 现在她又要进⾏另⼀个治疗。
但是分⼿之后过了五个⽉， 凯蒂还是⽆法停⽌ 想起瑞奇。 她的⼼
仍然破碎不堪。 问题是： 为什么？ 为什么这位异常坚强和 意志坚
定的⼥⼈ ⽆法重拾四年前帮助她 挺过癌症治疗的⼼理状态？ 为什
么我们那么多⼈ 在尝试愈合⼼碎时挣扎不堪？ 为什么帮助我们应
付 许多⼈⽣挑战的作⽤机理 却在我们⼼碎时完全⽆效？

In over 20 years of private practice, I have seen people of

every age and background face every manner of heartbreak,
and what I've learned is this: when your heart is broken, the
same instincts you ordinarily rely on will time and again lead
you down the wrong path. You simply cannot trust what your
mind is telling you.

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Day. Date.
在超过20年的私⼈看诊经历中， 我见过来⾃各个年龄 以及背景的
⼈ ⾯对每种类别的⼼碎， ⽽我从中学习到的是： 当你⼼碎时， 你
平常所依赖的那些直觉 将⼀次又⼀次地 误导你步上歧途。 你不能
相信⾃⼰的直觉。

For example, we know from studies of heartbroken people that

having a clear understanding of why the relationship ended is
really important for our ability to move on. Yet time and again,
when we are offered a simple and honest explanation like the
one Rich offered Kathy, we reject it. Heartbreak creates such
dramatic emotional pain, our mind tells us the cause must be
equally dramatic.
举个例⼦，我们知道有关 ⼼碎的⼈的研究显⽰， 清楚了解关系终
结的原因 对继续向前，不被感情所困 的能⼒⾮常重要。 但是，⼀
次又⼀次地， 当别⼈告诉我们简单 以及真诚的解释时， 如同瑞奇
告诉凯蒂的， 我们会全盘拒绝。 ⼼碎制造出如此 戏剧化的感情伤
痛， 以致我们的头脑告诉我们 其原因也肯定同样戏剧化。

And that gut instinct is so powerful, it can make even the most
reasonable and measured of us come up with mysteries and
conspiracy theories where none exist. Kathy became convinced
something must have happened during her romantic getaway
with Rich that soured him on the relationship, and she became
obsessed with figuring out what that was.
⽽那直觉是如此强⼤， 它可导致我们当中 最理性和最慎重的⼈ 想
出完全不存在的神秘论和 阴谋论。 凯蒂坚信她和瑞奇 ⼀起度过的
浪漫假期时 肯定发⽣了什么 破坏他们俩感情的事⼉， 导致她⽆法
⾃拔地 猜想到底是什么事⼉。

And so she spent countless hours going through every minute

of that weekend in her mind, searching her memory for clues
that were not there. Kathy's mind tricked her into initiating this
wild goose chase. But what compelled her to commit to it for
so many months?
就那样，她花了⽆数时间 在脑海⾥重新回顾 那个周末的每⼀分

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钟， 尝试在她的记忆⾥寻找 不存在的线索。 凯蒂的思想哄骗她 开
始这徒劳的搜索。 但是又是什么迫使她花 ⽆数个⽉的时间这么做
呢？

Heartbreak is far more insidious than we realize. There is a

reason we keep going down one rabbit hole after another, even
when we know it's going to make us feel worse. Brain studies
have shown that the withdrawal of romantic love activates the
same mechanisms in our brain that get activated when addicts
are withdrawing from substances like cocaine or opioids.
⼼碎⽐我们意识到的 更阴险狡诈。 让我们不断地重返⼀个 又⼀个
的迷幻世界， 就算我们知道这么做只会 让我们觉得更糟，是有原
因的。 ⼤脑研究显⽰， 失去浪漫的爱情 在我们⼤脑所引发的作⽤
机理 跟上瘾者停⽌吸⾷如可卡因和 鸦⽚类毒品时是⼀样的。

Kathy was going through withdrawal. And since she could not
have the heroin of actually being with Rich, her unconscious
mind chose the methadone of her memories with him. Her
instincts told her she was trying to solve a mystery, but what
she was actually doing was getting her fix.
凯蒂正经历着戒断期。 既然她的⽣活中不能没有了 像海洛因⼀样
的瑞奇， 于是她的潜意识选择把他们在 在⼀起的回忆当做代替
品。 她的直觉告诉她在 解开⼀个谜题， 但其实她正在做的 是满⾜
她的“毒瘾”。

This is what makes heartbreak so difficult to heal. Addicts

know they're addicted. They know when they're shooting up.
But heartbroken people do not. But you do now. And if your
heart is broken, you cannot ignore that. You have to recognize
that, as compelling as the urge is, with every trip down memory
lane, every text you send, every second you spend stalking
your ex on social media, you are just feeding your addiction,
deepening your emotional pain and complicating your
recovery.
这也就是⼼碎那么难痊愈的原因。 吸毒者知道他们上了瘾。 他们知道

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他们正在注射毒品。 但⼼碎的⼈则完全不知情。 不过现在你们知道
了。 如果你的⼼碎了， 你不能坐视不理。 你必须承认， ⽆论冲动是
多么强⼤， 每次重温记忆， 每发⼀条短信， 每秒你花在社交媒体上
跟踪你的旧爱， 你其实就在满⾜你的“毒瘾”， 加深你感情上的痛苦，
并使痊愈过程更复杂。

Getting over heartbreak is not a journey. It's a fight, and your

reason is your strongest weapon. There is no breakup
explanation that's going to feel satisfying. No rationale can
take away the pain you feel. So don't search for one, don't wait
for one, just accept the one you were offered or make up one
yourself and then put the question to rest, because you need
that closure to resist the addiction. And you need something
else as well: you have to be willing to let go, to accept that it's
over. Otherwise, your mind will feed on your hope and set you
back. Hope can be incredibly destructive when your heart is
broken.
要愈合⼼碎并⾮⼀个旅程， ⽽是个⽃争，⽽你的理智 是你最强⼤
的武器。 没有任何分⼿原因将 让你感到满⾜。 没有任何理论可以
带⾛你所感受的痛楚。 所以不要再找原因了， 不要再等另⼀个理
论了， 就接受你已知原因， 或⾃⼰捏造⼀个吧， 然后不再继续追
究了， 因为你需要的就是这个了结 来应付你的毒瘾。 你也需要其
它东西： 你必须⽢⼼放⼿， 接受⼀切已经终结了的事实。 不然的
话，你的潜意识 会继续给你奢望， 使你⽆法前进。 当你⼼碎时，
奢望可以 有灾难性的破坏⼒。

Heartbreak is a master manipulator. The ease with which it gets

our mind to do the absolute opposite of what we need in order
to recover is remarkable. One of the most common tendencies
we have when our heart is broken is to idealize the person who
broke it. We spend hours remembering their smile, how great
they made us feel, that time we hiked up the mountain and
made love under the stars. All that does is make our loss feel
more painful. We know that. Yet we still allow our mind to
cycle through one greatest hit after another, like we were being
held hostage by our own passive-aggressive Spotify playlist.
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⼼碎是个灵巧的操纵者。 对我们的头脑来说， 采取跟愈合⼼碎 完
全相反的步骤 是相当容易的。 我们⼼碎时最常有的倾向之⼀ 是崇
拜跟我们分⼿的⼈。 我们花⽆数时间回想起他们的微笑、 他们如
何让我们感到愉快、 或者我们⼀起爬⼭时 在星光下亲吻的时候。
这些都会让我们为 损失感到更痛苦。 我们知道这⼀点。 但我们仍
不断地在脑袋⾥ 重复那些难忘的经历， 如同我们被⾃⼰被动攻击
型的 ⾳乐播放表所劫持。

Heartbreak will make those thoughts pop into your mind. And
so to avoid idealizing, you have to balance them out by
remembering their frown, not just their smile, how bad they
made you feel, the fact that after the lovemaking, you got lost
coming down the mountain, argued like crazy and didn't speak
for two days. What I tell my patients is to compile an
exhaustive list of all the ways the person was wrong for you,
all the bad qualities, all the pet peeves, and then keep it on
your phone.
⼼碎会让那些想法突然浮现在脑海中。 所以为了避免理想化他们
的形象， 你必须平衡你的记忆⽚段， 想起他们的愁眉苦脸， ⽽不
只是他们的笑容， 是他们让你感到糟糕， 以及事实是，亲吻完
后， 你们爬下⼭时迷路了， 然后因此⽽⼤吵⼀架， 两天没跟对⽅
说话。 我建议我的病⼈ 写出⼀个详尽的列表， 说明那个⼈所做过
对不起你的事， 所有的缺点，所有的怪⽑病， 然后存⼊你的⼿机
内。

And once you have your list, you have to use it. When I hear
even a hint of idealizing or the faintest whiff of nostalgia in a
session, I go, "Phone, please."
⼀旦你有这个列表， 就⼀定要使⽤它。当我在疗程进⾏时听到病
⼈依然崇拜他们的旧爱，或略微缅怀过去，我就说，“请拿出⼿
机。”

Your mind will try to tell you they were perfect. But they were
not, and neither was the relationship. And if you want to get
over them, you have to remind yourself of that, frequently.
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你的头脑尝试告诉你 他们是完美的。 然⽽他们并⾮如此， 那段感
情也并⾮如此。 如果你要忘却他们， 你就必须提醒你⾃⼰那个事
实， 并时刻照做。

None of us is immune to heartbreak. My patient Miguel was a

56-year-old senior executive in a software company. Five years
after his wife died, he finally felt ready to start dating again. He
soon met Sharon, and a whirlwind romance ensued. They
introduced each other to their adult children after one month,
and they moved in together after two. When middle-aged
people date, they don't mess around. It's like "Love, Actually"
meets "The Fast and the Furious."
所有⼈都会⼼碎。 我的病⼈⽶格尔是个56岁 的软件公司⾼级⾏政
⼈员。 他的妻⼦去世五年后， 他终于准备好开始⼀段新恋情。 他
很快遇上了莎伦， 风驰电掣般的爱情随后发⽣。 ⼀个⽉后，他们
向各⾃的 成年孩⼦介绍对⽅， 并在两个⽉后开始同居。 中年⼈谈
恋爱，认真不随便。 情况就如电影《真爱⾄上》 遇上了《速度与
激情》⼀样。

Miguel was happier than he had been in years. But the night
before their first anniversary, Sharon left him. She had decided
to move to the West Coast to be closer to her children, and she
didn't want a long-distance relationship. Miguel was totally
blindsided and utterly devastated. He barely functioned at work
for many, many months, and he almost lost his job as a result.
Another consequence of heartbreak is that feeling alone and in
pain can significantly impair our intellectual functioning,
especially when performing complex tasks involving logic and
reasoning. It temporarily lowers our IQ.
⽶格尔好⼏年 都没那么幸福过了。 但是他们第⼀个周年纪念⽇ 的
前⼀个晚上， 莎伦离开了他。 莎伦决定搬去美国西海岸 跟她的孩
⼦住得近⼀点⼉， ⽽她不想要谈异地恋爱。 ⽶格尔对这个消息防
不胜防， 并且感到极其悲痛。 连续好⼏个⽉，他⼏乎 ⽆法正常上
班， 他也因此⽽差⼀点⼉丢了⼯作。 ⼼碎的另⼀个后遗症是， 寂
寞感和⼼痛 可以⼤⼤地削弱我们 的智⼒功能， 尤其是当我们进⾏

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Day. Date.
牵涉逻辑 和推论思考的复杂任务， ⼼痛会暂时性地降低我们的智
商。

But it wasn't just the intensity of Miguel's grief that confused

his employers; it was the duration. Miguel was confused by
this as well and really quite embarrassed by it. "What's wrong
with me?" he asked me in our session. "What adult spends
almost a year getting over a one-year relationship?" Actually,
many do.
但是使⽶格尔的雇主纳闷的 并⾮只是他的悲痛程度； ⽽是悲痛持
续的时间。 ⽶格尔也被⽆法释怀这件事困扰着， 并且为此⽽感到
相当尴尬。 “我到底怎么了？治疗期间 他问我这个问题。 “哪有成
年⼈花将近⼀年时间 忘记⼀段⼀年长的感情呢？” 其实，很多成年
⼈都这样。

Heartbreak shares all the hallmarks of traditional loss and

grief: insomnia, intrusive thoughts, immune system
dysfunction. Forty percent of people experience clinically
measurable depression. Heartbreak is a complex psychological
injury. It impacts us in a multitude of ways.
⼼碎的特征跟传统的 痛失亲友以及悲痛是⼀样的： 失眠、侵⼊性
思想、 免疫系统缺陷。 百分之四⼗的⼈会经历 临床可观察的抑郁
症。 ⼼碎是个复杂的⼼理创伤。 它在许多⽅⾯影响着我们。

For example, Sharon was both very social and very active. She
had dinners at the house every week. She and Miguel went on
camping trips with other couples. Although Miguel was not
religious, he accompanied Sharon to church every Sunday,
where he was welcomed into the congregation. Miguel didn't
just lose his girlfriend; he lost his entire social life, the
supportive community of Sharon's church. He lost his identity
as a couple.
举个例⼦，莎伦很爱好交际， 也会经常出去参加社交活动。 她每
个星期都在家⾥开设晚宴。 她和⽶格尔跟其他情侣 ⼀起去露营。
虽然⽶格尔不信奉任何宗教， 他每个星期⽇还是会 陪伴莎伦去上

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Day. Date.
教堂， 教堂会众也热情地接待他。 ⽶格尔不单单失去了他的⼥朋
友； 他失去了他整个社交⽣活， 莎伦的教堂这个⽀持他的团体，
还失去了⾝为情侣的⾝份。

Now, Miguel recognized the breakup had left this huge void in
his life, but what he failed to recognize is that it left far more
than just one. And that is crucial, not just because it explains
why heartbreak could be so devastating, but because it tells us
how to heal. To fix your broken heart, you have to identify
these voids in your life and fill them, and I mean all of them.
⽶格尔意识到分⼿在他的 ⽣活中留下了⼀个很⼤的空缺， 但是他
没有意识到的是 分⼿留下的空缺不只是⼀个。 那是⾄关重要的，
因为那不只解释了为什么⼼碎 的伤害可以如此之⼤， 也告诉我们
可以如何愈合。 要从⼼碎中⾛出来， 你⼀定要辨识你⽣活中 这些
空缺并填补它们， 我说的是所有空缺。

The voids in your identity: you have to reestablish who you

are and what your life is about. The voids in your social life,
the missing activities, even the empty spaces on the wall
where pictures used to hang. But none of that will do any good
unless you prevent the mistakes that can set you back, the
unnecessary searches for explanations, idealizing your ex
instead of focusing on how they were wrong for you,
indulging thoughts and behaviors that still give them a starring
role in this next chapter of your life when they shouldn't be an
extra.
你⾝份上的空缺： 你⼀定要重新建⽴你的⾝份 和你的⽣活⽬标。
你的社交⽣活上的空缺， 不再做的活动，就连墙壁上那个 曾经挂
着相⽚的空位。 但让这⼀切见效的前提是， 你必须不再犯下让你
停滞不前的过错， 不再不必要地去寻找解释， 不再崇拜你的前情
侣， ⽽是要集中于他们怎么对不起你， 在这个新的⽣活篇章中 不
再把他们捧为明星 并沉迷于这种思想和⾏为， 事实是他们连路⼈
甲都不配做。

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Day. Date.
Getting over heartbreak is hard, but if you refuse to be misled
by your mind and you take steps to heal, you can significantly
minimize your suffering. And it won't just be you who benefit
from that. You'll be more present with your friends, more
engaged with your family, not to mention the billions of
dollars of compromised productivity in the workplace that
could be avoided.
让破碎的⼼愈合是⾮常痛苦的事， 但是如果你拒绝让你的头脑 误
导你，并主动采取愈合的⾏动， 你可以最⼤限度地降低痛苦。 你
将不会是唯⼀⼀个获利的⼈。 你将会花更多时间在你朋友⾝边，
花更多时间跟你的家⼈在⼀起， 更别谈上亿万美元可避免的 ⼯作
⽣产⼒上的损失。

So if you know someone who is heartbroken, have

compassion, because social support has been found to be
important for their recovery. And have patience, because it's
going to take them longer to move on than you think it should.
And if you're hurting, know this: it's difficult, it is a battle
within your own mind, and you have to be diligent to win. But
you do have weapons. You can fight. And you will heal.
如果你知道有谁⼼碎了， 要⼼怀同情， 因为社会的⽀持被证实 对
他们的复原⾮常重要。 要有耐⼼， 因为他们放下感情所需的时间
会⽐你想象中的更长。 还有如果是你的⼼在痛， 要知道： 要赢得
这个在你脑海中的搏⽃很难， 你必须努⼒才可以赢得这场⽃争。
但是你不是⼿⽆⼨铁的。 你可以战胜它。 你将会痊愈。

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Day. Date.

不合群的美丽
The beauty of being a misfit

So I know TED is about a lot of things that are big, but I want
to talk to you about something very small. So small, it's a
single word. The word is "misfit." It's one of my favorite
words, because it's so literal. I mean, it's a person who sort of
missed fitting in. Or a person who fits in badly. Or this: "a
person who is poorly adapted to new situations and
environments." I'm a card-carrying misfit. And I'm here for the
other misfits in the room, because I'm never the only one. I'm
going to tell you a misfit story.
我知道 TED 总是谈⼀些⼤事 但是我想讲⼀件微不⾜道的⼩事 ⼩到
只有⼀个词 “异类。” 这是我最喜欢的词， 因为简单明了 这样的⼈
是⼀个⽆法融⼊， 或者融⼊得很差的⼈， 或者“⼀个很难适应 新位
置和新环境的⼈。” 我是真正的异类。 我代表这⾥的所有异类站在
这⾥， 因为我并不孤单。 我将讲述⼀个异类的故事。

Somewhere in my early 30s, the dream of becoming a writer

came right to my doorstep. Actually, it came to my mailbox in
the form of a letter that said I'd won a giant literary prize for a
short story I had written. The short story was about my life as a
competitive swimmer and about my crappy home life, and a
little bit about how grief and loss can make you insane. The
prize was a trip to New York City to meet big-time editors and
agents and other authors.
在我三⼗岁出头的时候， 成为作家的梦想在向我招⼿。 准确地说
我在我的邮箱⾥ 发现了⼀封信 信上说我写的⼩说 为我赢得了⼀份
⼤奖。 ⼩说讲述了 ⼀名历经糟糕的家庭⽣活的 优秀的游泳运动员
的故事， 还有⼀些关于 悲痛和困惑如何让⼈抓狂的情节。赢得的
奖励是 去纽约和知名的编辑、代理 和其他作家见⾯。

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Day. Date.
So kind of it was the wannabe writer's dream, right? You
know what I did the day the letter came to my house? Because
I'm me, I put the letter on my kitchen table, I poured myself a
giant glass of vodka with ice and lime, and I sat there in my
underwear for an entire day, just staring at the letter. I was
thinking about all the ways I'd already screwed my life up.
Who the hell was I to go to New York City and pretend to be a
writer? Who was I?
这是每个作家的梦想，对吧？ 各位知道我看到信后做了什么吗？
因为我是不适者， 我把信放在厨房桌⼦上， 给⾃⼰倒了⼀⼤杯加
了冰和柠檬的 伏特加， 就这样穿着内⾐看着那封信 坐了⼀整天。
我在考虑以前 把我的⽣活毁了的各种⽅式。 那个要去纽约装作是
⼀位作家的我 到底是谁？ 我是谁？

I'll tell you. I was a misfit. Like legions of other children, I

came from an abusive household that I narrowly escaped with
my life. I already had two epically failed marriages
underneath my belt. I'd flunked out of college not once but
twice and maybe even a third time that I'm not going to tell
you about.
我来告诉各位。 我是⼀个异类。 就像千千万万其他的孩⼦， 我来
⾃⼀个受虐待的家庭， 只不过我侥幸逃脱了。 在我的⽣命中已经
经历了两次婚姻的⼤失败。 我考⼤学失败了两次， 也许会有第三
次 我不会告诉你们的。

And I'd done an episode of rehab for drug use. And I'd had
two lovely staycations in jail. So I'm on the right stage. But
the real reason, I think, I was a misfit, is that my daughter died
the day she was born, and I hadn't figured out how to live with
that story yet.
我还有⼀段戒毒的美妙经历。 我还在监狱⾥度过两次假。 所以我
应该站在这⾥。但是我想，真正的原因是 我是⼀个异类。 我的⼥
⼉在出⽣的那天就去世了， 我当时根本⽆法接受这件事。

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Day. Date.
After my daughter died I also spent a long time homeless,
living under an overpass in a kind of profound state of
zombie grief and loss that some of us encounter along the
way. Maybe all of us, if you live long enough. You know,
homeless people are some of our most heroic misfits, because
they start out as us. So you see, I'd missed fitting in to just
about every category out there: daughter, wife, mother,
scholar. And the dream of being a writer was really kind of
like a small, sad stone in my throat.
⼥⼉去世后我⽆家可归了⼀段时间， 住在⼀个天桥下。 那种⽆
尽的悲痛和困惑 是很多⼈⼀⽣中都会遇到的。 如果活得够久 也
许所有⼈都会遇到。 ⽆家可归的⼈是 我们之中最伟⼤的异类，
因为从那时起他们 就成为了我这样的⼈。 可以看到我与所有的
⽣活格格不⼊： 作为⼥⼉，作为妻⼦， 作为妈妈，作为学者。
⽽想要成为作家的梦想 也⼀直如鲠在喉。

It was pretty much in spite of myself that I got on that plane

and flew to New York City, where the writers are. Fellow
misfits, I can almost see your heads glowing. I can pick you
out of a room. At first, you would've loved it. You got to
choose the three famous writers you wanted to meet, and
these guys went and found them for you. You got set up at
the Gramercy Park Hotel, where you got to drink Scotch late
in the night with cool, smart, swank people. And you got to
pretend you were cool and smart and swank, too. And you
got to meet a bunch of editors and authors and agents at very,
very fancy lunches and dinners. Ask me how fancy.
我没有理会⾃⼰的不适 就登上了飞机， 准备前往纽约 和各位作
家见⾯。 异类们， 我⼏乎可以看到你们头上的光芒。 我可以在
屋⼦⾥认出你来。 ⼀开始旅程是美妙的。 每个⼈可以选择三位
最想见的知名作家 会有⼈为你联系他们。 ⼤家下榻在格拉梅西
公园酒店， 在那⾥可以和 出⾊，聪明，华丽的⼈喝 苏格兰威⼠
忌直到深夜。 你要装作同样出⾊，聪明，华丽。 你会在⽆⽐精
美的午餐和晚宴中 会见⼀系列的编辑作家和经纪⼈。 快问我多
么精美。

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Day. Date.
Audience: How fancy?
观众：有多么精美?

Lidia Yuknavitch: I'm making a confession: I stole three linen

napkins -- from three different restaurants. And I shoved a
menu down my pants.
我承认我从三个不同的饭店偷了三块亚⿇餐⼱。 我还在裤⼦⾥藏了
⼀张菜单。

I just wanted some keepsakes so that when I got home, I could

believe it had really happened to me. You know?
我只是想在我回家时 还能看到⼀些我带回来的纪念品 让我相信我
真的去过这⾥。 你明⽩么？

The three writers I wanted to meet were Carole Maso, Lynne

Tillman and Peggy Phelan. These were not famous, best-selling
authors, but to me, they were women-writer titans. Carole
Maso wrote the book that later became my art bible. Lynne
Tillman gave me permission to believe that there was a chance
my stories could be part of the world. And Peggy Phelan
reminded me that maybe my brains could be more important
than my boobs. They weren't mainstream women writers, but
they were cutting a path through the mainstream with their
body stories, I like to think, kind of the way water cut the
Grand Canyon.
我想见的三位作家是 卡罗尔·马索，琳恩·蒂尔曼 和佩吉·费
伦。 她们不算是最知名和畅销的作家， 但是我把她们奉若神明。
卡罗尔·马索的书 后来成为了我的艺术指导。 琳恩·蒂尔曼 给了
我信⼼让我相信 将来我的故事 会被世界上的⼈所知晓。 佩吉·费
伦则提醒我 我的头脑⽐胸部更加重要。 她们不是主流⼥作家， 但
是她们⽤⾃⼰的故事题材 在主流⽂学中 独树⼀帜， 另辟蹊径。

It nearly killed me with joy to hang out with these three

over-50-year-old women writers. And the reason it nearly killed
me with joy is that I'd never known a joy like that. I'd never

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been in a room like that. My mother never went to college.
And my creative career to that point was a sort of small, sad,
stillborn thing. So kind of in those first nights in New York I
wanted to die there. I was just like, "Kill me now. I'm good.
This is beautiful." Some of you in the room will understand
what happened next.
能和这三位 50多岁的⼥作家聊天 快把我乐疯了。 因为我从来不知
道 ⽣活可以这么开⼼。 我的⽣活中从来没有 打开过这样美好的⼀
扇门。 我的母亲没有上过⼤学。 从这⼀点来说我的创作⽣涯 本来
就是⼀个很⼩的，卑微的， 会胎死腹中的事。 在纽约的前⼏天 我
希望就死在那⾥。 我想说“杀了我吧。 我要葬在这美好之中。” 接
下来发⽣了什么 屋⼦⾥的⼀些⼈会理解。

First, they took me to the offices of Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Farrar, Straus and Giroux was like my mega-dream press. I
mean, T.S. Eliot and Flannery O'Connor were published there.
The main editor guy sat me down and talked to me for a long
time, trying to convince me I had a book in me about my life
as a swimmer. You know, like a memoir. The whole time he
was talking to me, I sat there smiling and nodding like a numb
idiot, with my arms crossed over my chest, while nothing,
nothing, nothing came out of my throat. So in the end, he
patted me on the shoulder like a swim coach might. And he
wished me luck and he gave me some free books and he
showed me out the door.
⾸先，他们把我带到了 法勒，斯特劳斯和吉鲁的办公室。 法勒，
斯特劳斯和吉鲁 是我的终极梦想出版社。 艾略特的诗集和弗兰纳
⾥·奥康纳 的⼩说都在那⾥出版。 主编让我坐下和我聊了很久，
⼀直在试图让我相信我写了⼀本关于 我⾃⼰是游泳运动员的书。
就像⽤备忘录让我回忆⼀样。 整个谈话期间 我双⼿交叉在胸前 不
住地微笑和点头， 却⼀句话都不说， ⿇⽊的像个傻⼦。 最后他像
⼀个游泳教练⼀样 拍了拍我的肩膀。 他祝我好运 送了我⼏本免费
的书 请我出去了。

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Next, they took me to the offices of W.W. Norton, where I was
pretty sure I'd be escorted from the building just for wearing
Doc Martens. But that didn't happen. Being at the Norton
offices felt like reaching up into the night sky and touching the
moon while the stars stitched your name across the cosmos. I
mean, that's how big a deal it was to me. You get it? Their lead
editor, Carol Houck Smith, leaned over right in my face with
these beady, bright, fierce eyes and said, "Well, send me
something then, immediately!" See, now most people,
especially TED people, would have run to the mailbox, right?
It took me over a decade to even imagine putting something in
an envelope and licking a stamp.
接下来他们让我去 W.W.诺顿的办公室， 我以为穿了马腾斯博⼠靴
的我 ⼀定会有⼈陪同⼀起过去。 但是并没有⼈陪我。 在诺顿的办
公室⾥ 就像⾝处洪荒，摘星揽⽉ 群星闪烁 在⽆尽的宇宙中编织着
我的名字。 这是我⼈⽣中多么重⼤的⼀件事啊。 你明⽩了么？ 他
们的主编，卡罗尔·霍克史密斯， 靠在我⾯前 闪烁着有神，明
亮，犀利的⽬光 跟我说：“寄给我 你的⼀些作品，马上！” ⼤部分
⼈，尤其是来能TED的⼈ 马上会去寄，对吧？ ⽽我花了很久的时
间来思考 要不要做这件事。

On the last night, I gave a big reading at the National Poetry

Club. And at the end of the reading, Katharine Kidde of Kidde,
Hoyt & Picard Literary Agency, walked straight up to me
and shook my hand and offered me representation, like, on the
spot. I stood there and I kind of went deaf. Has this ever
happened to you? And I almost started crying because all the
people in the room were dressed so beautifully, and all that
came out of my mouth was: "I don't know. I have to think
about it." And she said, "OK, then," and walked away. All
those open hands out to me, that small, sad stone in my
throat ...
在最后⼀天晚上 我在全国诗歌俱乐部 做了⼀场读书会。 在读书会
结束的时候， 凯德公司的凯瑟琳·凯德 和霍伊特与⽪卡德⽂学社
的⼈ 径直⾛向我与我握⼿ 当场让我做他们的代表 我像失聪了⼀样
站在那⾥。 这种事发⽣在各位⾝上过么？ 我⼏乎要哭了出来 因为
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所有屋⼦⾥的⼈都如此华丽 然⽽我却只能说 “我不知道，我要再想
想”那样的话。 她说：“当然。”然后离开了。 尽管很多⼈伸来了橄
榄枝 我仍然如鲠在喉。

You see, I'm trying to tell you something about people like me.
Misfit people -- we don't always know how to hope or say yes
or choose the big thing, even when it's right in front of us. It's a
shame we carry. It's the shame of wanting something good. It's
the shame of feeling something good. It's the shame of not
really believing we deserve to be in the room with the people
we admire.
各位，我尽量告诉⼤家 像我这样的⼈的感受。 异类经常不知道 怎
样期待和回答 也不知道在⼤事⾯前如何选择。 哪怕它们就在我们
⾯前。 这是我们⾝上的耻辱。 这是想接受美好时 就会有的耻辱。
这是想感受美好时 就会有的耻辱。 这种耻辱让我们不敢相信 我们
应该和那些我们敬仰的⼈ 站在同⼀个屋檐下。

If I could, I'd go back and I'd coach myself. I'd be exactly like
those over-50-year-old women who helped me. I'd teach
myself how to want things, how to stand up, how to ask for
them. I'd say, "You! Yeah, you! You belong in the room, too."
The radiance falls on all of us, and we are nothing without each
other. Instead, I flew back to Oregon, and as I watched the
evergreens and rain come back into view, I just drank many
tiny bottles of airplane "feel sorry for yourself." I thought about
how, if I was a writer, I was some kind of misfit writer. What
I'm saying is, I flew back to Oregon without a book deal,
without an agent, and with only a headful and heart-ful of
memories of having sat so near the beautiful writers. Memory
was the only prize I allowed myself.
如果可以回到过去 我要像那些 50多岁的⼥⼈告诉我的那样 告诫⾃
⼰。 我要教⾃⼰去诉说我的需求， 站起来，要回属于我的东西。
我会跟我⾃⼰说：“你！ 就是你！你应该在这个屋⼦⾥。” 只有和
⼤家团结在⼀起， 每个⼈才是光芒四射的。 可现实是，我飞回了
俄勒冈， 看着窗外的⾬拍打着常青树 我不禁借酒浇愁。 我想就算
我是⼀个作家 我也只是作家中的异类。 我想说， 我回到俄勒冈，
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没有签下⼀个书约， 没有经纪⼈同⾏， 有的只是满满的回忆。 我
曾经和那些美丽的作家 离得那么近。 回忆是我给⾃⼰的奖励。

And yet, at home in the dark, back in my underwear, I could

still hear their voices. They said, "Don't listen to anyone who
tries to get you to shut up or change your story." They said,
"Give voice to the story only you know how to tell." They
said, "Sometimes telling the story is the thing that saves your
life."
然后当我回到家的⿊暗中， 穿回我的内⾐， 我还能够听见她们的
声⾳。 她们说：“不要让任何 试图让你闭嘴的⼈ 改变你的故事。”
她们说：“表达只有你 才知道的感受。” 她们说：“有时候写书可以
改变你的⼀⽣。”

Now I am, as you can see, the woman over 50. And I'm a
writer. And I'm a mother. And I became a teacher. Guess who
my favorite students are. Although it didn't happen the day that
dream letter came through my mailbox, I did write a memoir,
called "The Chronology of Water." In it are the stories of how
many times I've had to reinvent a self from the ruins of my
choices, the stories of how my seeming failures were really
just weird-ass portals to something beautiful. All I had to do
was give voice to the story.
现在，我也50多岁了。 我是⼀个作家。 我是⼀位母亲。 我也成为
了⼀名⽼师。 猜猜我最喜欢的学⽣是谁。 我写了⼀篇回忆录， 尽
管不是从邮筒拿出信的 那⼀天写的， 叫做“似⽔年华”。 书⾥讲述
的是我如何在 ⼈⽣选择的废墟中 重⽣的故事。 书⾥讲述的是那些
我的失败如何奇迹般地 通向美好的故事。 我要做的就是让⼤家听
到我的故事。

There's a myth in most cultures about following your dreams.

It's called the hero's journey. But I prefer a different myth,
that's slightly to the side of that or underneath it. It's called the
misfit's myth. And it goes like this: even at the moment of your
failure, right then, you are beautiful. You don't know it yet, but

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you have the ability to reinvent yourself endlessly. That's your
beauty.
每⼀种⽂化中都有追梦的神话， ⼤多数叫做英雄之路。 不过我更
喜欢另⼀种神话， ⼀种过程不同， 不为⼈所知的神话， 叫做异类
的神话。 它是这样的： 即使那时候你失败了， 失败的你也是美好
的。 你可能没有发觉 那个不断地 试图重⽣的你 是最美丽的。

You can be a drunk, you can be a survivor of abuse, you can

be an ex-con, you can be a homeless person, you can lose all
your money or your job or your husband or your wife, or the
worst thing of all, a child. You can even lose your marbles.
You can be standing dead center in the middle of your failure
and still, I'm only here to tell you, you are so beautiful. Your
story deserves to be heard, because you, you rare and
phenomenal misfit, you new species, are the only one in the
room who can tell the story the way only you would. And I'd
be listening.
你可以醉酒， 你可以从虐待中逃脱出来， 你可以有前科， 你可以
⽆家可归， 你可以失去所有的钱， ⼯作甚⾄另⼀半， 或者最难过
的莫过于， 你失去了你的孩⼦， 甚⾄失去理智。 你站在失败的正
中⼼， 此时我要告诉你， 你是那么美好。 你的故事应该被⼤家听
到 因为你是稀有的，是独特的， 是独⼀⽆⼆的异类， 这个屋⼦⾥
只有你可以 ⽤只有你才会的⽅式 来讲述你的故事。 ⽽我会静静地
聆听。

There's a myth in most cultures about following your dreams.

It's called the hero's journey. But I prefer a different myth,
that's slightly to the side of that or underneath it. It's called the
misfit's myth. And it goes like this: even at the moment of
your failure, right then, you are beautiful. You don't know it
yet, but you have the ability to reinvent yourself endlessly.
That's your beauty.
每⼀种⽂化中都有追梦的神话， ⼤多数叫做英雄之路。 不过我更
喜欢另⼀种神话， ⼀种过程不同， 不为⼈所知的神话， 叫做异类
的神话。 它是这样的： 即使那时候你失败了， 失败的你也是美好

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的。 你可能没有发觉 那个不断地 试图重⽣的你 是最美丽的。

You can be a drunk, you can be a survivor of abuse, you can be

an ex-con, you can be a homeless person, you can lose all your
money or your job or your husband or your wife, or the worst
thing of all, a child. You can even lose your marbles. You can
be standing dead center in the middle of your failure and still,
I'm only here to tell you, you are so beautiful. Your story
deserves to be heard, because you, you rare and phenomenal
misfit, you new species, are the only one in the room who can
tell the story the way only you would. And I'd be listening.
你可以醉酒， 你可以从虐待中逃脱出来， 你可以有前科， 你可以
⽆家可归， 你可以失去所有的钱， ⼯作甚⾄另⼀半， 或者最难过
的莫过于， 你失去了你的孩⼦， 甚⾄失去理智。 你站在失败的正
中⼼， 此时我要告诉你， 你是那么美好。 你的故事应该被⼤家听
到 因为你是稀有的，是独特的， 是独⼀⽆⼆的异类， 这个屋⼦⾥
只有你可以 ⽤只有你才会的⽅式 来讲述你的故事。 ⽽我会静静地
聆听。

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Day. Date.

不要公开你的个⼈⽬标
Keep your goals to yourself

Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal. For real

-- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.
Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal,
okay? Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it.
Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're
going to do. Imagine their congratulations, and their high
image of you. Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud? Don't
you feel one step closer already, like it's already becoming part
of your identity?
请⼤家想想 你们最⼤的⼈⽣⽬标。 实际的⼈⽣⽬标。你得想⼀会
⼉。你有感觉知道你的⽬标。 花⼏秒钟想想⼈⽣最⼤的⽬标，好
么？ 想象⼀下，⽴马做出决定 你将要做的事情。 想象⼀下，告诉
你今天遇到的⼈你将要做什么 想象他们的祝贺 和你在他们眼中的
英伟形象。 ⼤声说出来是不是⼗分爽？ 你是不是觉得更进⼀步了
貌似这已经成为你⾃⼰的⼀部分？

Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,
because that good feeling now will make you less likely to do
it. The repeated psychology tests have proven that telling
someone your goal makes it less likely to happen. Any time
you have a goal, there are some steps that need to be done,
some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it.
嗯，坏消息：你最好闭嘴， 因为你的⾃我感觉良好， 在现实中反
⽽使你不太容易实现⽬标。 许多⼼理测试已证明 告诉别⼈你的⽬
标 反⽽使⽬标不能实现。 任何时候在你有个⽬标时， 你得按计划
做些⼯作 来实现这个⽬标。

Ideally you would not be satisfied until you'd actually done

the work. But when you tell someone your goal and they

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acknowledge it, psychologists have found that it's called a
"social reality." The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's
already done. And then because you've felt that satisfaction,
you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.
理想状况下，除⾮你实际地做些⼯作，你才会满⾜， 但是当你告
诉别⼈你的⽬标，⼤家也承认你的⽬标， ⼼理学家发现，这被称
为⼀种社会现实。 思维定势让你有种感觉到你的⽬标已经达到。
然后，因为你感到满⾜感， 你不那么积极地做 实际需要的艰苦⼯
作。

So this goes against conventional wisdom that we should tell

our friends our goals, right? So they hold us to it. So, let's look
at the proof. 1926: Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,
called this "substitution." 1933: Wera Mahler found when it
was acknowledged by others, it felt real in the mind. 1982,
Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this, and in 2009,
he did some new tests that were published.
这观点和传统观点背道⽽驰， 我们应该告诉我们朋友们关于我们
的⽬标吗，对吗？ 他们⿎励我们实现⽬标，对。我们来看看这个
证明。 1926年，社会⼼理学的创始⼈库尔特·勒温 称这个为“替
代”。 1933年，伟拉马勒发现 当你的⽬标被别⼈承认，在你脑⼦⾥
就好⽐这已经实现了。 1982年，⽪特哥尔维策尔关于此写了⼀本
书， 在2009年， 他公布了⼀些新的实验证明。

It goes like this: 163 people across four separate tests.

Everyone wrote down their personal goal. Then half of them
announced their commitment to this goal to the room, and half
didn't. Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work that
would directly lead them towards their goal, but they were told
that they could stop at any time. Now, those who kept their
mouths shut worked the entire 45 minutes on average, and
when asked afterward, said that they felt that they had a long
way to go still to achieve their goal. But those who had
announced it quit after only 33 minutes, on average, and when
asked afterward, said that they felt much closer to achieving
their goal.
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⽐如这个： 163个⼈进⾏4组不同测试-- 每个⼈写下他们各⾃的⽬
标， 然后⼀半实验的⼈在房间⾥宣布他们的⽬标承诺， 另⼀半⼈
保守⽬标。 接下来每个⼈有45分钟来⼯作， 他们可以努⼒⼯作直
⾄实现他们的⽬标， 但他们在任何时候也可以停下来⼯作。 那些
不泄漏⽬标的⼈ 平均⼯作了整整45分钟， 在这之后的访问， 他们
感到他们为了实现⽬标还有很长的⼀段路要⾛。 但是那些宣布⽬
标的⼈们 平均⼯作⼤约33分钟后就放弃了， 当被问及时， 他们感
到快要接近⽬标了。

So if this is true, what can we do? Well, you could resist the
temptation to announce your goal. You can delay the
gratification that the social acknowledgment brings, and you
can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the
doing.
所以如果这是事实， 我们会怎样做？ 好吧，⼤家可以抵制住宣布
⽬标的诱惑。 ⼤家可以延迟这种 社交承认带来的满⾜。 ⼤家明⽩
脑⼦会把 说的当成做的来替代。

But if you do need to talk about something, you can state it in

a way that gives you no satisfaction, such as, "I really want to
run this marathon, so I need to train five times a week and
kick my ass if I don't, okay?"So audience, next time you're
tempted to tell someone your goal, what will you say?
Exactly! Well done.
但是如果你的确要谈论⼀些⽬标， 你说到这些⽬标时 不带有任何
满⾜感， 例如，“我的确想要跑马拉松， 所以我需要每周训练5
次， 如果我做不到，就踢我的屁股吧？”所以观众们，下⼀次当你
试图告诉别⼈你的⽬标时， 你会说什么？ 完全正确，做对了。
（对你的⽬标缄默，闭住嘴。保守秘密。）

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成功的关键不是智商，⽽是毅⼒
Why we all need to practice emotional first aid

When I was 27 years old, I left a very demanding job in

management consulting for a job that was even more
demanding: teaching. I went to teach seventh graders math in
the New York City public schools. And like any teacher, I
made quizzes and tests. I gave out homework assignments.
When the work came back, I calculated grades.
在我27岁的时候，我辞去了⼀份⾮常有挑战性的职业⼀企业管理咨
询,转⽽投⼊了⼀份更加具有挑战性的职业:教育。我来到纽约的⼀
些公⽴学校教7年级的学⽣的数学。和别的⽼师⼀样,我会给学⽣们
做⼩测验和考试，我会给他们布置家庭作业。当这些试卷和作业
收 上来之后，我计算了他们的成绩。

What struck me was that IQ was not the only difference

between my best and my worst students. Some of my strongest
performers did not have stratospheric IQ scores. Some of my
smartest kids weren't doing so well. And that got me thinking.
The kinds of things you need to learn in seventh grade math,
sure, they're hard: ratios, decimals, the area of a parallelogram.
But these concepts are not impossible, and I was firmly
convinced that every one of my students could learn the
material if they worked hard and long enough.
让我震惊的是，IQ的⾼低并不是我最好的和最差的学⽣之间唯⼀
的差别。⼀些在课业上表现很好的学⽣并不具有⾮常⾼的IQ分
数。⼀些⾮常聪明的孩⼦反⽽在课业上表现的不那么尽如⼈意。
这引起了我的思考。当然，学⽣们在7年级需要学习的东西是有难
度的，像⽐率，⼩数，平⾏四边形的⾯积计算。但是这些概念是
完全可以被掌握的， 我坚信我的每⼀位学⽣都可以学会教材内
容，只要他们肯花时间和精⼒的话。

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After several more years of teaching, I came to the conclusion
that what we need in education is a much better understanding
of students and learning from a motivational perspective, from
a psychological perspective. In education, the one thing we
know how to measure best is IQ. But what if doing well in
school and in life depends on much more than your ability to
learn quickly and easily?
经过⼏年教学之后，我得出⼀个结论，我们在教育⽅⾯所需要的是
从学习动⼒的⾓度和⼼理学的⾓度，对学⽣和学习⾏为进⾏⼀次更
为深刻的理解。在教育体系中，我们都知道评价优秀学⽣的标准就
是IQ，但如果在学校和⽣活中的优秀表现远不仅仅依赖于你轻松
⾼效学习的能⼒呢?

So I left the classroom, and I went to graduate school to

become a psychologist. I started studying kids and adults in all
kinds of super challenging settings, and in every study my
question was, who is successful here and why? My research
team and I went to West Point Military Academy. We tried to
predict which cadets would stay in military training and which
would drop out. We went to the National Spelling Bee and
tried to predict which children would advance farthest in
competition. We studied rookie teachers working in really
tough neighborhoods, asking which teachers are still going to
be here in teaching by the end of the school year, and of those,
who will be the most effective at improving learning outcomes
for their students?
所有我离开了讲台，回到学校继续攻读⼼理学硕⼠学位。 我开始
研究孩⼦和⼤⼈，在各种⾮常具有挑战性的情况下，以及在各项研
究中，我的问题是谁才是成功者，为什么他们会成功?我和我的研
究团队前往西点军校展开调研，我们试图预测哪些学 员能够耐得
住军队的训练，哪些会被淘汰出局。我们前去观摩全国拼字⽐赛，
同时也试着预测哪些孩⼦会晋级到最后的⽐赛。我们研究在恶劣的
⼯作环境 下⼯作的，刚⼊⾏的⽼师， 询问他们哪些⽼师决定会在
学年结束后继续留下来任教，以及他们之 中谁能最快地提⾼学⽣
的学习成绩。

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We partnered with private companies, asking, which of these
salespeople is going to keep their jobs? And who's going to
earn the most money? In all those very different contexts, one
characteristic emerged as a significant predictor of success.
And it wasn't social intelligence. It wasn't good looks, physical
health, and it wasn't IQ. It was grit.
我们与私企合作， 向他们询问哪些销售⼈员可以保住⼯作，哪些
可以赚钱最多?在所有那些不同的情境下，⼀种性格特征凸显了出
来，这种特征在很⼤程度 上预⽰了成功。⽽且它并不是社交智
⼒。不是漂亮的外表，强健的体魄，也不是很⾼的IQ，它是毅⼒。

Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit

is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day
out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years,
and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is
living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint.
毅⼒是对长远⽬标的激情和坚持，毅⼒是拥有持久的恒劲， 毅⼒
是你对未来的坚持，⽇复⼀⽇不是仅仅持续⼀个星期或者⼀个⽉，
⽽是⼏年甚⾄⼏⼗年努⼒奋⽃着让⾃⼰的梦想变为现实。毅⼒是把
⽣活当成⼀场马拉松⽽不是⼀次短跑。

A few years ago, I started studying grit in the Chicago public

schools. I asked thousands of high school juniors to take grit
questionnaires, and then waited around more than a year to see
who would graduate.
⼏年前，在芝加哥的公⽴学校⾥，我开始研究毅⼒。 我对 上千名
初中⽣进⾏了关于毅⼒的问卷调查，然后等候了⼀年多， 来看最
终哪些学⽣能毕业。

Turns out that grittier kids were significantly more likely to

graduate, even when I matched them on every characteristic I
could measure, things like family income, standardized
achievement test scores, even how safe kids felt when they
were at school. So it's not just at West Point or the National
Spelling Bee that grit matters. It's also in school, especially for
kids at risk for dropping out.
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结果证明那些更具毅⼒的学⽣在毕业的概率上占绝对优势，即使是
在同样可以量化的外在因素下像家庭收⼊，标准化成绩测验的分
数，甚⾄是孩⼦们在学校能获得多少安全感之类，仍是有毅⼒的学
⽣更容易毕业所有不仅仅是在西点军校⾥或者全国拼字⽐赛上才需
要毅⼒。在学校亦是如此，尤其是对于那些徘徊在辍学边缘的孩⼦
们。

To me, the most shocking thing about grit is how little we

know, how little science knows, about building it. Every day,
parents and teachers ask me, "How do I build grit in kids?
What do I do to teach kids a solid work ethic? How do I keep
them motivated for the long run?" The honest answer is, I don't
know.
对于我⾃⼰来说，关于毅⼒最让我震惊的事情莫过于对于毅⼒，我
们知之甚少，在培养毅⼒上, 科学对理解的认识又是何等贫乏。每
天都有家长和⽼师来问我，”我怎样做才 能培养孩⼦的毅⼒呢?该做
些什么才能教授给孩⼦们真正的职业道德?又 该怎样调动他们长期
的积极性呢?”⽼实说,我不知道。

What I do know is that talent doesn't make you gritty. Our data
show very clearly that there are many talented individuals who
simply do not follow through on their commitments. In fact, in
our data, grit is usually unrelated or even inversely related to
measures of talent.
我所知道的是，才华并不能使你坚韧不拔。我们的数据 ⼗分清楚
地表明,有许多才华横溢的⼈，他们都⽆法坚持兑现⾃⼰的承诺。事
实上， 根据我们的数据来看,毅⼒通常与其他因素⽆关，甚⾄与才
华的衡量标准背道⽽驰。

So far, the best idea I've heard about building grit in kids is
something called "growth mindset." This is an idea developed
at Stanford University by Carol Dweck, and it is the belief that
the ability to learn is not fixed, that it can change with your
effort. Dr. Dweck has shown that when kids read and learn
about the brain and how it changes and grows in response to
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challenge, they're much more likely to persevere when they
fail, because they don't believe that failure is a permanent
condition.
到⽬前为⽌，我所听说过的在孩⼦⾝上培养坚韧品质最有效的⽅法
叫”成长型思维模式。”斯坦福⼤学卡洛杜威克提出过⼀个观点，他
相信⼈的学习能⼒是可变的，它随着 你的努⼒程度⽽变化。杜威克
教授表⽰， 当孩⼦们阅读和学习有关⼤脑的知识以及它在⾯对挑战
时所发⽣的变化和成长情况，他们失败之后更容易坚持下去，因为
他们不相信会⼀直失败 下去。

So growth mindset is a great idea for building grit. But we

need more. And that's where I'm going to end my remarks,
because that's where we are. That's the work that stands before
us. We need to take our best ideas, our strongest intuitions, and
we need to test them. We need to measure whether we've been
successful, and we have to be willing to fail, to be wrong, to
start over again with lessons learned.
因此，成长性思维模式对培养毅⼒⼤有裨益。但是我们需要更多。
我决定在此结束我的评论，因为我们正在经历着这⼀切。 这是眼前
所⾯临的⼯作。我们要拿出最好的想法和最强的直觉，我们要对他
们进⾏实践。 我们需要估量这⼀-切是否成功同时还要渴望对失败
和错误，要从这些失败中汲取经验重新再来。

In other words, we need to be gritty about getting our kids

grittier.
换句话说，我们只有⾃⼰变得更有毅⼒才能让我们的孩⼦变得更有
毅⼒。

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从肥皂剧⾥学到的⼈⽣道理
4 larger-than-life lessons from soap operas
In 1987, Tina Lord found herself in quite the pickle. See, this
gold digger made sure she married sweet Cord Roberts just
before he inherited millions. But when Cord found out Tina
loved his money as much as she loved him, he dumped her.
Cord's mother Maria was thrilled until they hooked up again.
So Maria hired Max Holden to romance Tina and then made
sure Cord didn't find out Tina was pregnant with his baby. So
Tina, still married but thinking Cord didn't love her flew to
Argentina with Max. Cord finally figured out what was going
on and rushed after them, but he was too late. Tina had already
been kidnapped, strapped to a raft and sent over a waterfall. She
and her baby were presumed dead. Cord was sad for a bit, but
then he bounced right back with a supersmart archaeologist
named Kate, and they had a gorgeous wedding until Tina,
seemingly back from the dead, ran into the church holding a
baby. "Stop!" she screamed. "Am I too late? Cord, I've come so
far. This is your son."
1987年，蒂娜罗德发现⾃⼰深陷困境。 所以，这个拜⾦⼥决定在善
良的科德罗伯特 继承百万遗产之前嫁给他。 但当科德发现她爱他
的钱财， 和爱他⼀样多时，他甩了她。 科德的妈妈玛利亚很开⼼
直到他们又搞在⼀起。 所以玛利亚雇了马克思赫登引诱蒂娜， 并
确保科德不知道蒂娜怀了他的孩⼦。 所以蒂娜还是嫁了， 但觉得
科德不爱她了， 所以就和马克思飞到阿根廷。 科德后来知道发⽣
了什么事， 前去追赶他们，但为时已晚。 当时蒂娜已经被绑架，
她被绑在⼀条筏上，冲下了瀑布。 她和孩⼦被推断已经死亡。 科
德有点伤⼼， 但是他恢复的很快， 和⼀个叫卡特的 聪明考古学家
在⼀起了， 他们举⾏了⼀场美丽的婚礼， 直到被认为死亡的蒂娜
抱着⼀个婴⼉冲进教堂， “停！”她尖叫， “我来晚了吗？ 科德，我
克服万难回来了。 这是你的⼉⼦。”

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Now, if you've ever seen a soap opera, you know the stories
and the characters can be exaggerated, larger than life, and if
you're a fan, you find that exaggeration fun, and if you're not,
maybe you find them melodramatic or unsophisticated. Maybe
you think watching soap operas is a waste of time, that their
bigness means their lessons are small or nonexistent. But I
believe the opposite to be true. Soap operas reflect life, just
bigger. So there are real life lessons we can learn from soap
operas, and those lessons are as big and nonexistent as any
soap opera storyline.
如果你看过肥皂剧， 你就会知道那些故事和⾓⾊ 可能很夸张，超
出实际， 如果你是⼀个粉丝， 你会发现这种夸张很有意思， 如果
你不是粉丝， 你会发现它们很情绪化和肤浅。 可能你觉得看肥皂
剧 是浪费时间， 夸张的剧情意味着没什么教育⽬的 或甚⾄根本不
存在。 但是我相信，反过来说才是对的。 肥皂剧反映了⼈⽣，只
是夸张些。 因為我们能从肥皂剧中 学到真实的⼈⽣道理， ⽽这些
道理与肥皂剧剧情 ⼀样夸张且新奇。

Now, I've been a fan since I ran home from the bus stop in
second grade desperate to catch the end of Luke and Laura's
wedding, the biggest moment in "General Hospital" history. So
you can imagine how much I loved my eight years as the
assistant casting director on "As the World Turns." My job was
watching soap operas, reading soap opera scripts and
auditioning actors to be on soap operas. So I know my stuff.
我是个⼤粉丝，从⼆年级开始， 我每天从车站跑回家 就为了看卢
克和罗拉婚礼的故事结局， 那是《综合医院》这场戏剧的重⼤时
刻。所以你可以想象我多么热爱 担任《地球照转》⼋年的助理导
演。 我的⼯作是看肥皂剧， 阅读肥皂剧本 并⾯试肥皂剧演员。 所
以我知道⾃⼰在⼲嘛。

And yes, soap operas are larger than life, drama on a grand
scale, but our lives can be filled with as much intensity, and the
stakes can feel just as dramatic. We cycle through tragedy and
joy just like these characters. We cross thresholds, fight
demons and find salvation unexpectedly, and we do it again
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and again and again, but just like soaps, we can flip the script,
which means we can learn from these characters that move like
bumblebees, looping and swerving through life. And we can
use those lessons to craft our own life stories. Soap operas
teach us to push away doubt and believe in our capacity for
bravery, vulnerability, adaptability and resilience. And most
importantly, they show us it's never too late to change your
story.
是的，肥皂剧 ⽐现实⽣活要夸张， 更⼤程度的戏剧化， 但是我们
的⽣活也可以⼀样紧张、 利害关系也可以⼀样戏剧化。 ⼈⽣当中
不断的悲欢离合 就像那些⾓⾊⼀样。 我们跨越困境，与恶魔⽃争
和在⽆意中找到了救赎， ⽽且我们⼀次又⼀次的做这样的事情，
但是就像肥皂剧，我们可以改变局⾯， 也就是说，我们可以从這
些像⼤黄蜂⼀样， 被⽣活忙的团团转的⾓⾊⾝上 学到东西。 我们
可以⽤这些教训， 刻画出我们⾃⼰的⼈⽣故事。 肥皂剧教我们不
要怀疑 并相信⾃⼰ 勇敢、脆弱、 适应及恢复的能⼒。 最重要的，
它们告诉我们 要改变⾃⼰的故事永远不会太晚。

So with that, let's start with soap opera lesson one: surrender is
not an option."All My Children"'s Erica Kane was daytime's
version of Scarlett O'Hara, a hyperbolically self-important
princess who deep down was scrappy and daring. Now, in her
41 years on TV, perhaps Erica's most famous scene is her alone
in the woods suddenly face to face with a grizzly bear. She
screamed at the bear, "You may not do this! Do you understand
me? You may not come near me! I am Erica Kane and you are
a filthy beast!"
所以，我们从肥皂剧的第⼀课开始： 投降不是选择。《我的孩⼦
们》的艾瑞卡 卡恩 是电视版的斯佳丽 奥哈拉， ⼀个夸张、以⾃我
为中⼼的公主 她的内⼼深处是好⽃和⼤胆。 艾瑞卡在她41年的电
视⽣涯中， 可能是最出名的场景就是： 她独⾃在森林⾥ 突然和⼀
个灰熊⾯对⾯。 她朝灰熊⼤喊： “你不能这样！ 你听不懂吗？ 你
不能靠近我！ 我是艾瑞卡 卡恩 ⽽你是⼀个卑劣的野兽！”

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And of course the bear left, so what that teaches us is obstacles
are to be expected and we can choose to surrender or we can
stand and fight.
当然，灰熊离开了， 所以这教会我们 ⼈⽣总会有障碍但我们可以
选择投降，或者站出来⽃争。

Pandora's Tim Westergren knows this better than most. You

might even call him the Erica Kane of Silicon Valley. Tim and
his cofounders launched the company with two million dollars
in funding. They were out of cash the next year. Now, lots of
companies fold at that point, but Tim chose to fight. He maxed
out 11 credit cards and racked up six figures in personal debt
and it still wasn't enough. So every two weeks for two years on
payday he stood in front of his employees and he asked them
to sacrifice their salaries, and it worked. More than 50 people
deferred two million dollars, and now, more than a decade
later, Pandora is worth billions. When you believe that there is
a way around or through whatever is in front of you, that
surrender is not an option, you can overcome enormous
obstacles.
潘多拉的蒂姆 韦斯特格伦 最了解这个道理。 你甚⾄可以叫他硅⾕
的艾瑞卡 卡恩。 蒂姆和其他联合创始⼈ 集资了两百万，成⽴公
司。 但他们在第⼆年就⽤光了资⾦。 很多公司都在那个时候放
弃， 但是蒂姆选择⽃争。 他刷爆11张信⽤卡， 背负了六位数的债
务， 但这还不够。 两年来每两周发⼯资的那天， 他都会站在他的
员⼯前 请求他们放弃他们的⼯资， 这有了成效。 超过50个⼈贡献
了两百万美⾦， 现在，⼗多年后。 潘多拉的估值⾼达⼏⼗亿。 当
你相信有办法 可以解决你眼前所⾯对的任何问题时， 投降不是⼀
个选择， 你可以克服巨⼤的障碍。

Which brings us to soap opera lesson two: sacrifice your ego

and drop the superiority complex.Now, this is scary. It's an
acknowledgment of need or fallibility. Maybe it's even an
admission that we're not as special as we might like to think.
來到肥皂剧的第⼆课： 放下你的⾃⼤和⾼⼈⼀等的情绪。这有点
可怕。 这是对⼈性需求和错误的认知。 可能这甚⾄是对我们⾃⼰
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并没有想象中那样特殊的覺悟。

Stephanie Forrester of "The Bold and the Beautiful" thought

she was pretty darn special. She thought she was so special, she
didn't need to mix with the riffraff from the valley, and she
made sure valley girl Brooke knew it. But after nearly 25 years
of epic fighting, Stephanie got sick and let Brooke in. They
made amends, archenemies became soul mates and Stephanie
died in Brooke's arms, and here's our takeaway. Drop your ego.
Life is not about you. It's about us, and our ability to
experience joy and love and to improve our reality comes only
when we make ourselves vulnerable and we accept
responsibility for our actions and our inactions, kind of like
Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks.
《⼤胆⽽美丽》的 斯坦芬尼 福瑞斯特 认为她⾃⼰⾮常特殊。 她觉
得她特殊到 不需要和来⾃村庄的普通⼈往来， 她还警告村庄的⼥
孩布鲁克要知道这点。 但是在快25年的史诗般的⽃争后， 斯坦芬
尼⽣病了， 让布鲁克进⼊了她的内⼼。 她们重修旧好， 從敌⼈变
成了灵魂伴侣， 最后斯坦芬尼死在布鲁克的怀⾥， 这就是我们学
到的： 放下你的⾃⼤。 ⼈⽣谈的不是你， ⼈⽣谈的我们， 谈的是
我们享受快乐、爱情 和改善现状的能⼒， 只有在我们最脆弱的时
候， 承担起我们所作所为的责任 以及不作为的责任。 有点像霍华
德 舒尔茨， 星巴克的CEO。

Now, after a great run as CEO, Howard stepped down in 2000,

and Starbucks quickly overextended itself and stock prices fell.
Howard rejoined the team in 2008, and one of the first things
he did was apologize to all 180,000 employees. He apologized.
And then he asked for help, honesty, and ideas in return. And
now, Starbucks has more than doubled its net revenue since
Howard came back. So sacrifice your desire to be right or safe
all the time. It's not helping anyone, least of all you. Sacrifice
your ego.
在結束了偉⼤的 CEO 任职后， 霍华德在2000年辞职， 但星巴克因
迅速地过度扩张， 造成股价下跌。 霍华德在2008年重新加⼊团
队， 他做的第⼀件事， 就是向18万员⼯道歉。 他向员⼯道歉， 并
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寻求帮助、真诚和建议。 现在，⾃从霍华德归队后， 星巴克的净
利润超过两倍。 所以放下⾃⼰对正确和安全的渴望， 並不会帮助
到任何⼈，也帮不了⾃⼰。 放下你的⾃⼤。

Soap opera lesson three: evolution is real. You're not meant to

be static characters. On television, static equals boring and
boring equals fired. Characters are supposed to grow and
change. Now, on TV, those dynamic changes can make for
some rough transitions, particularly when a character is
played by one person yesterday and played by someone new
today. Recasting happens all the time on soaps. Over the last
20 years, four different actors have played the same key role
of Carly Benson on "General Hospital." Each new face
triggered a change in the character's life and personality. Now,
there was always an essential nugget of Carly in there, but the
character and the story adapted to whomever was playing her.
肥皂剧课程三： 进化是現实的。 并不是要你去当⼀位 ⼀层不变的
次要⾓⾊。 在电视圈，⼀层不变意味着⽆聊， ⽆聊意味着随时会
被解雇。 ⾓⾊应该有成长和变化。 在电视上，那些充滿變數的改
变， 可以创造出⼀些剧烈的转变， 特别是当⼀个⾓⾊昨天是⼀个
演员， 今天却是另⼀个演员。 在肥皂剧⾥，⾓⾊重塑是很常见
的。 过去的20年⾥， 四个不同的演员都扮演过 《综合医院》的重
要⾓⾊，卡莉 本森。 每⼀个崭新的脸庞都引发了 ⾓⾊的⽣活和⼈
格的变化。 虽然卡莉的本质还在， 但是⾓⾊和故事都要适应扮演
她的⼈。

And here's what that means for us. While we may not swap
faces in our own lives, we can evolve too. We can choose to
draw a circle around our feet and stay in that spot, or we can
open ourselves to opportunities like Carly, who went from
nursing student to hotel owner, or like Julia Child. Julia was a
World War II spy, and when the war ended, she got married,
moved to France, and decided to give culinary school a shot.
Julia, her books and her TV shows revolutionized the way
America cooks.

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对我们来说，这意味着 虽然我们不能在⽣活中变换⾯容， 但我们
可以进化。 我们可以选择画地⾃限， 或者我们可以向机会敞开⼼
扉， 像卡莉，从⼀个护⼠专业学⽣ 变成酒店业主， 像朱莉娅 查尔
得，朱莉娅是⼀个⼆战间谍， 当战争结束候，她结了婚、搬到法
国， 并决定去烹饪学校学习。 朱莉娅，她的书和电视节⽬ 颠覆了
美国烹饪的⽅式。

We all have the power to initiate change in our lives, to evolve

and adapt. We make the choice, but sometimes life chooses for
us, and we don't get a heads up. Surprise slams us in the face.
You're flat on the ground, the air is gone, and you need
resuscitation. odness for soap opera lesson four: resurrection is
possible.
我们在⽣活中，都有启动改变的能⼒， 为了进化和适应环境， 我
们做出选择， 但有时候我们不得不向⽣活低头， 意外扇了你⼀个
⽿光， 你躺在地板上，不知所措， 你需要恢復知觉。所以，感谢
肥皂剧的第四课： 重⽣是有可能的。

In 1983, "Days of Our Lives"' Stefano DiMera died of a

stroke, but not really, because in 1984 he died when his car
plunged into the harbor, and yet he was back in 1985 with a
brain tumor.But before the tumor could kill him, Marlena shot
him, and he tumbled off a catwalk to his death. And so it went
for 30 years.
1983年，《我们的⽇⼦》的 斯特凡诺 德⽶拉死于中风， 但那不是
真的，因为在1984年 他因车⼦掉进海港⽽死亡， 但是他在1985年
带着脑瘤复活了。在肿瘤杀死他之前， 马⾥拉朝他开枪， 他摔进
狭窄巷道死亡。 ⽽这花了30年。

Even when we saw the body, we knew better. He's called the
Phoenix for a reason. And here's what that means for us. As
long as the show is still on the air, or you're still breathing,
nothing is permanent. Resurrection is possible.
当我们看到他的⼫体， 我们很清楚， 他被称作凤凰是有原因的。
这对我们的意义是， 只要剧还在播出， 或者你还在呼吸。 没什么
是不变的。 重⽣是有可能的。

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Now, of course, just like life, soap operas do ultimately meet
the big finale. CBS canceled my show, "As The World Turns,"
in December 2009, and we shot our final episode in June 2010.
It was six months of dying and I rode that train right into the
mountain. And even though we were in the middle of a huge
recession and millions of people were struggling to find work,
I somehow thought everything would be OK. So I packed up
the kids and the Brooklyn apartment, and we moved in with
my in-laws in Alabama.
当然，就像⽣活⼀样， 肥皂剧总会有⼤结局。 CBS在2009年12⽉取
消了 我的肥皂剧——《地球照转》， 我们在2010年6⽉， 录制了最
后⼀集。 在那痛苦的六个⽉当中， 我的⼈⽣看不到光明。 即使我
们的经济仍在衰退， 百万⼈挣扎着寻找⼯作， 但我觉得⼀切都会
变好。 我带着孩⼦，离开布鲁克林的公寓， 和亲家⼀起 居住在阿
拉巴马州。

Three months later, nothing was OK. That was when I watched
the final episode air, and I realized the show was not the only
fatality. I was one too. I was unemployed and living on the
second floor of my in-laws' home, and that's enough to make
anyone feel dead inside.
三个⽉后，没有好转的迹象。 在我看了最后⼀集的播出後， 我意
识到不仅那个电视剧结束了， 我也失业了。 我没有了⼯作， 住在
亲家的⼆楼。 真的有够难受的。

But I knew my story wasn't over, that it couldn't be over. I just

had to tap into everything I had ever learned about soap operas.
I had to be brave like Erica and refuse to surrender, so every
day, I made a decision to fight.
但是我知道我的故事还没有结束， 也不会结束。 我只要运⽤我从
肥皂剧 ⾥学到的所有东西。 我要像艾瑞卡⼀样勇敢并拒绝投降。
所以每天，我都会做⼀个⽃争的决定。

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I had to be vulnerable like Stephanie and sacrifice my ego. I
had to ask for help a lot of times across many states. I had to
be adaptable like Carly and evolve my skills, my mindset, and
my circumstances, and then I had to be resilient, like Stefano,
and resurrect myself and my career like a phoenix from the
ashes.Eventually I got an interview. After 15 years in news
and entertainment, nine months of unemployment and this one
interview, I had an offer for an entry level job. I was 37 years
old and I was back from the dead.
我要像斯坦芬尼⼀样脆弱， 放下⾃⼤。 我要在很多州寻求很多帮
助。 我需要像卡莉⼀样善于适应 并进化我的技能、思考和境遇，
然后我还要像斯特凡诺⼀样顽强， 使我⾃⼰和我的职业重⽣ 就像
凤凰涅槃⼀样。最后，我得到了⼀个⾯试。 在新闻和娱乐界⼯作
了15年， 失业了9个⽉ 在这次⾯试之后， 我得到了⼀个⼊门级别
的⼯作机会， 我当时已经37岁， 我复活重⽣。

We will all experience what looks like an ending, and we can

choose to make it a beginning. Kind of like Tina, who
miraculously survived that waterfall, and because I hate to
leave a cliffhanger hanging, Tina and Cord did get divorced,
but they got remarried three times before the show went off
the air in 2012.
我们都会经历⼈⽣低潮， 我们可以选择让低潮成为⼀个起点。 像
蒂娜，奇迹般地从瀑布中存活下来， 因为我不喜欢剧情有悬念，
蒂娜和科德真的离婚了， 但是他们在2012年 剧终之前结了三次
婚。

So remember, as long as there is breath in your body, it's never

too late to change your story.
所以记住， 只要你还有⼀⼜⽓在， 改变你的故事永远不会太晚。

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从失恋中⾛出来需要多久
How long does it take to get over a breakup

How long does it take to get over a breakup? The good news is
I've done the research for you. The bad news is that you might
not like the answer.
到底需要多久才能摆脱分⼿的阴影？ 好消息是 我已经为你做了研
究。 坏消息是 你可能不喜欢这个答案。

See, a few years back, a number of publications were touting a

study telling their readers that it takes 11 weeks to get over a
breakup. That's nearly three months spent listening to
depressing music while putting on a brave face. It might feel
longer than it is, but it's only a few swipes on the calendar app.
No big deal, right?
⼏年前， 许多出版物都在标榜⼀项研究, 告诉读者⼈们需要11周 才
能摆脱分⼿的阴影。 这差不多是三个⽉时间 ⼀边听苦情歌， ⼀边
装出⼀副勇敢的⾯孔。 这可能令⼈感觉很长， 但实际上也只需 在
⽇历程序上轻扫⼏下。 没什么⼤不了的，对吧？

Well, unfortunately, it's not so straightforward. See, those

articles drastically misrepresented that study. In fact, the study
never said anything about how long it takes to get over a
breakup. It only focused on the aftereffects of ending a
relationship, specifically among undergrads, which is a whole
other can of worms.
不幸的是， 这没那么简单。 这些⽂章在很⼤程度上 歪曲了那项研
究。 事实上，这项研究并没有具体说 ⼤约需要多长时间才能从 分
⼿的阴影⾥⾛出来。 它只专注分析了 结束⼀段感情的后果， 特别
是⼤学⽣ 这个本⾝就⾮常复杂的群体。

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Day. Date.
To really answer that question of how long it takes to get over
a breakup, you would need to do a longitudinal study, a study
that would basically follow a ton of people from the moment
of their breakup and track their progress year after year after
year. But studies like that are expensive and complicated to
carry out.
要真正回答这个关于 到底需要多久 才能摆脱分⼿的阴影的问题，
你需要做⼀个纵向研究， 这项研究会跟踪⼤量的⼈， 从他们分⼿
的那⼀刻起， 年复⼀年地跟踪他们的进展。 但这样的研究既昂贵
又复杂。

So with no adequate data, I decided to seek professional help.

I went to couples therapists, Dr. Hod Tamir. He has anecdotal
experience with countless people in relationships and, full
disclosure, he was my couple’s therapist, too. So I asked him
how long he thinks it takes to get over a breakup. "I don't
think there is a magic number ...
我没有⾜够的数据， 所以我决定寻求专业帮助。 我去找了婚姻⼼
理咨询师 霍德·塔⽶尔医⽣。 他有与⽆数夫妻交往的经历， ⽽
且，特别披露， 他也是我的婚姻⼼理医⽣。 所以我问他， 摆脱分
⼿的阴影到底需要多久？ “我不认为有什么神奇的数字 可以回答这
个问题。

If we feel like we can express ourselves in how we're feeling,

we don't have to keep it bottled up. Once you're doing other
things that you're engaged with and distracted by, then at some
point you look back and like, 'Oh yeah, that's my ex.' And you
notice that the feelings that you have are not as raw. You can
bump into each other and not feel pain."
如果我们觉得我们可以 ⽤⾃⼰的感受来表达⾃⼰， 就不必把它憋
在⼼⾥。 ⼀旦你开始做其他 让你投⼊并分⼼的事情， 然后在某个
时候，你回过头来想， ‘哦，是的，那是我的前任。’ 你会注意到
你的感觉 并不像原来那么痛⼼。 你们可以彼此碰⾯⽽不感到疼
痛。”

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And the data supports Dr. Tamir's theory. One study looked at
different strategies for love regulation. In other words, can a few
simple methods change how much you love someone? The
study found that when participants were distracted into thinking
about something other than their ex, like, their favorite hobby or
ideal career, their love feelings for their ex stayed the same, but
it did make them feel more pleasant. Using distractions to start
to feel better is exactly what Dr. Tamir has suggested. The study
also found that a negative reappraisal strategy, essentially
remembering all of the shit things your ex said and did, does
decrease love feelings for your ex. But it also makes you feel
"unpleasant," and I'm guessing that means sad. Finally, a third,
more zen strategy known as reappraisal of love feelings. For
this, participants had to muse over statements like "Love is part
of life" and "It's OK to love someone I'm no longer with." Yeah,
that changed nothing at all for them.
数据是⽀持塔⽶尔医⽣的理论的。 ⼀项研究考察了 不同的爱情调节
策略。 换句话说，⼀些简单的⽅法 能改变你爱⼀个⼈的程度吗？
研究发现，当参与者分⼼思考 关于他们前任以外的事， ⽐如，他们
的爱好或理想职业， 他们对前妻的感情并没有改变， 但这确实让他
们感觉更愉快。 利⽤分⼼的⽅法来摆脱分⼿的痛苦 正是塔⽶尔医⽣
所建议的。 研究还发现 ⼀种消极的重新评估策略， 基本上回想所
有 你前任说的不堪过往， 会减少你对前任的爱。 但这也会让你感
到“不愉快” 我猜这意味着悲伤。 最后，第三种更为佛系的策略， 即
重新评估爱情感觉。 这种策略要求参与者 必须仔细思考以下陈述：
“爱是⽣活的⼀部分” 还有“爱⼀个不再和我 在⼀起的⼈没关系”。 是
的，这对他们来说没有任何改变。

Overall, the researchers concluded, and I'm not using the

scientific language here, that concentrating on the bad things
about your ex can help you to feel less in love. While distracting
yourself with other subjects, as my therapist suggested, can
actually make you feel better. However, the research and Dr.
Tamir would both tell you that while distraction is good in the
short term, it is not a long-term solution.

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总的来说，研究⼈员得出结论， 简单来说， 专注于你前任做过的
不好的事情 可以帮助你减少爱的感觉。 但⽤其他话题分散注意
⼒， 就像我⼼理治疗师所讲 实际上可以让你感觉更好。 然⽽，研
究和塔⽶尔博⼠都会告诉你 虽然分散注意⼒ 在短期内会有帮助，
但这并不是长久之计。

"Taking that time to process and understand it is actually a

much quicker way to heal than ignoring it." Eventually, for the
sake of ourselves and our future partners, we're going to have
to face up to our feelings.
“花时间去处理和理解它 实际上，这是⼀种 ⽐忽视它更快的治愈
⽅式。” 最终，为了我们⾃⼰ 和我们未来的伙伴， 我们必须正视
⾃⼰的感受。

So how long does it take to get over a breakup? Well, we don't

have enough long-term studies to know. But more
importantly, I’ve learned that instead of counting down the
days, we're much better off reconnecting with the things we
love to do. Finding something to distract us and unpacking our
feelings when we're ready. If we can do all that, then one day
hopefully we'll come out of it feeling OK. And in the end, isn't
that what we're really after?
所以从分⼿的阴影中⾛出来 到底需要多久？ 我们没有⾜够的长期
研究 来告诉我们答案。 但更重要的是， 我学到了与其数⽇度尽春
夏秋冬， 不如投⾝于到我们热爱的事情。 找点东西分散我们的注
意⼒ 当我们准备好的时， 释放我们的感情。 如果我们能做到这⼀
切， 终有⼀天我们会⾛出来的。 最后，这不正是我们想要的吗？

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读书如何改变⼈⽣
The healing power of reading
I want to talk today about how reading can change our lives
and about the limits of that change. I want to talk to you about
how reading can give us a shareable world of powerful human
connection. But also about how that connection is always
partial. How reading is ultimately a lonely, idiosyncratic
undertaking.
今天，我想谈谈读书 如何改变我们的⼈⽣， 以及这种改变的局限
性。 我想谈谈读书如何 给了我们⼀个 ⼈际关系的共享世界。 我也
想谈谈这种关系 为何总是偏颇的， 为何读书终究是⼀件 孤独、独
⾃乐乐的事。

The writer who changed my life was the great African

American novelist James Baldwin. When I was growing up in
Western Michigan in the 1980s, there weren't many Asian
American writers interested in social change. And so I think I
turned to James Baldwin as a way to fill this void, as a way to
feel racially conscious. But perhaps because I knew I wasn't
myself African American, I also felt challenged and indicted
by his words. Especially these words: "There are liberals who
have all the proper attitudes, but no real convictions. When the
chips are down and you somehow expect them to deliver, they
are somehow not there." They are somehow not there. I took
those words very literally. Where should I put myself?
改变了我的⼈⽣的⼀位作家 是伟⼤的⾮裔美国⼩说家 詹姆斯·鲍
德温。 20世纪80年代， 我在密歇根州西部长⼤， 当时的美国亚裔
作家中 对社会变⾰感兴趣的不多。 所以我求教于詹姆斯·鲍德
温， 我想这是填补这⼀空⽩， 加强种族意识的⽅式。 但也许是因
为知道 ⾃⼰不是⾮裔美国⼈， 我从他的⾔论中 感到了挑战和谴
责， 尤其是这些话： “⾃由派会表现出 所有合宜的态度—— 但他
们没有真正的信念。 在紧急时刻，你希望他们履⾏诺⾔， 他们却
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突然不见了⼈影。” 他们出于某种原因不见了踪影。 我是从字⾯上
理解这些话的， 我应该去哪⾥？

I went to the Mississippi Delta, one of the poorest regions in

the United States. This is a place shaped by a powerful history.
In the 1960s, African Americans risked their lives to fight for
education, to fight for the right to vote. I wanted to be a part of
that change, to help young teenagers graduate and go to
college. When I got to the Mississippi Delta, it was a place that
was still poor, still segregated, still dramatically in need of
change.
我去了密西西⽐三⾓洲， 美国最贫穷的地区之⼀， 这个地⽅深受
⼀段 强有⼒的历史的影响。 20世纪60年代， ⿊⼈冒着⽣命危险 争
取受教育的机会和投票权。 我希望加⼊这⼀变⾰， 帮助青少年从
中学毕业， 并继续进⼊⼤学深造。 我到密西西⽐三⾓洲时， 这个
地⽅仍然很贫穷， 仍实⾏种族隔离， 极其需要变⾰。

My school, where I was placed, had no library, no guidance

counselor, but it did have a police officer. Half the teachers
were substitutes and when students got into fights, the school
would send them to the local county jail.
我所任教的学校 没有图书馆，也没有辅导员， 但却有⼀名警察。
有⼀半的⽼师是代课⽼师， 学⽣打架时， 学校就把他们送到 当地
的县监狱。

This is the school where I met Patrick. He was 15 and held

back twice, he was in the eighth grade. He was quiet,
introspective, like he was always in deep thought. And he
hated seeing other people fight. I saw him once jump
between two girls when they got into a fight and he got
himself knocked to the ground. Patrick had just one problem.
He wouldn't come to school. He said that sometimes school
was just too depressing because people were always fighting
and teachers were quitting.

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就是在这所学校， 我认识了帕特⾥克， 他⼗五岁，留过两次级，
正在上⼋年级。 他很安静、内向， 好像总在沉思。 他很讨厌看到
别⼈打架。 有⼀次，我看见他跳到 两个打架的⼥孩之间劝架， 结
果被撞倒在地上。 帕特⾥克只有⼀个问题， 他不愿意来上学。 他
说，有时候学校 太令⼈沮丧了， 因为总有⼈打架， 有⽼师辞职。

And also, his mother worked two jobs and was just too tired to
make him come. So I made it my job to get him to come to
school. And because I was crazy and 22 and zealously
optimistic, my strategy was just to show up at his house and
say, "Hey, why don't you come to school?" And this strategy
actually worked, he started to come to school every day. And
he started to flourish in my class. He was writing poetry, he
was reading books. He was coming to school every day.
他妈妈打两份⼯， 没精⼒敦促他去上学。 所以我把叫他来上学 这
事给揽了过来， 因为我那时22岁，⾮常乐观。 我的办法就是到他
家⾥去， 跟他说：“嘿， 你为什么不来上学？” 这招还真管⽤。 他
开始每天都来上学， 并且在我的课上开始有进步了， 他写诗、看
书， 每天都来上学。

Around the same time that I had figured out how to connect to
Patrick, I got into law school at Harvard. I once again faced
this question, where should I put myself, where do I put my
body? And I thought to myself that the Mississippi Delta was a
place where people with money, people with opportunity, those
people leave. And the people who stay behind are the people
who don't have the chance to leave. I didn't want to be a person
who left. I wanted to be a person who stayed. On the other
hand, I was lonely and tired. And so I convinced myself that I
could do more change on a larger scale if I had a prestigious
law degree. So I left.
在知道了该如何 跟帕特⾥克建⽴良好关系的同时， 我被哈佛法学
院录取了。 要再次⾯对同⼀个问题： 我该去哪⾥？ 我该在哪落
脚？ 我⼼想， 密西西⽐三⾓洲是有钱的⼈和 有机会的⼈ 都会离开
的地⽅， ⽽留下来的 都是没有机会离开的⼈。 我不想成为离开的
⼈， 我想成为留下的⼈。 但另⼀⽅⾯， 我感到孤独又疲惫。 所以
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我说服⾃⼰， 如果我取得法学学位， 就可以在更⼤的范围内 做更
多的改变。 于是我离开了。

Three years later, when I was about to graduate from law

school, my friend called me and told me that Patrick had got
into a fight and killed someone. I was devastated. Part of me
didn't believe it, but part of me also knew that it was true. I
flew down to see Patrick. I visited him in jail. And he told me
that it was true. That he had killed someone. And he didn't want
to talk more about it. I asked him what had happened with
school and he said that he had dropped out the year after I left.
And then he wanted to tell me something else. He looked down
and he said that he had had a baby daughter who was just born.
And he felt like he had let her down. That was it, our
conversation was rushed and awkward.
三年后， 我即将从法学院毕业时， 我的朋友打电话告诉我， 帕特
⾥克跟⼈打架 并杀了⼀个⼈。 我很震惊， ⼀⽅⾯我不相信， 但另
⼀⽅⾯我也知道这是真的。 我乘飞机南下去看帕特⾥克， 我到监
狱⾥去探望他。 他告诉我这是真的， 他的确杀了⼈， 但他不想多
谈这件事。 我问他学校怎么了， 他说当年我⾛后，他就辍学了。
然后他想告诉我⼀些别的事情， 他低着头说，他有了⼀个 刚出⽣
的⼥⼉。 他觉得作为⽗亲让⼥⼉失望了。 我们的谈话就这样结束
了， ⾮常匆忙、尴尬。

When I stepped outside the jail, a voice inside me said, "Come

back. If you don't come back now, you'll never come back." So
I graduated from law school and I went back. I went back to
see Patrick, I went back to see if I could help him with his legal
case. And this time, when I saw him a second time, I thought I
had this great idea, I said, "Hey, Patrick, why don't you write a
letter to your daughter, so that you can keep her on your
mind?" And I handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and he
started to write.
我⾛出监狱时， 内⼼⾥有个声⾳说： “回来吧。 如果你现在不回
来， 你就永远不会回来了”。 于是，从法学院毕业后， 我又回去

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了。 我回去看帕特⾥克， 我回去看我能否 帮他处理他的案件。 这
次我见到他时， 我想到了⼀个好主意，说： “嘿，帕特⾥克， 给你
⼥⼉写封信吧， 这样你就可以记着她了。” 我递给他⼀⽀笔和⼀张
纸， 于是他开始写信了。
But when I saw the paper that he handed back to me, I was
shocked. I didn't recognize his handwriting, he had made
simple spelling mistakes. And I thought to myself that as a
teacher, I knew that a student could dramatically improve in a
very quick amount of time, but I never thought that a student
could dramatically regress. What even pained me more, was
seeing what he had written to his daughter. He had written, "I'm
sorry for my mistakes, I'm sorry for not being there for you."
And this was all he felt he had to say to her. And I asked myself
how can I convince him that he has more to say, parts of
himself that he doesn't need to apologize for. I wanted him to
feel that he had something worthwhile to share with his
daughter.
但是当我看到他递给我的信时， 我很吃惊。 我辨认不出他的笔
迹， 他犯了些简单的拼写错误。 作为⼀名⽼师， 我知道学⽣可以
在很短的时间内 取得很⼤进步， 但我从未想过 学⽣会⼤退步。 更
让我痛⼼的是， 他写给⼥⼉的信的内容。 他写道： “我为我犯的错
和 不能陪伴你感到抱歉。” 这就是他觉得他该对 ⼥⼉说的所有话
了。 我问⾃⼰，怎么能说服他 他还有更多话可以说，他在有些⽅
⾯是不需要道歉的。我想让他觉得 他有值得与⼥⼉分享的东西。

For every day the next seven months, I visited him and brought
books. My tote bag became a little library. I brought James
Baldwin, I brought Walt Whitman, C.S. Lewis. I brought
guidebooks to trees, to birds, and what would become his
favorite book, the dictionary. On some days, we would sit for
hours in silence, both of us reading. And on other days, we
would read together, we would read poetry.
在接下来的7个⽉⾥， 我每天都去看他，给他带些书， 我的购物袋
成了 ⼀个⼩图书馆。 我带了詹姆斯·鲍德温， 我带了沃尔特·惠
特曼， C.S.刘易斯的书。 我带上了树⽊指南、鸟类指南， 字典成了

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他最喜欢的书。 有时候， 我们俩会静静地 坐下⼏个⼩时看书。
还有的时候， 我们会⼀起看书，⼀起读诗歌。

We started by reading haikus, hundreds of haikus, a

deceptively simple masterpiece. And I would ask him, "Share
with me your favorite haikus." And some of them are quite
funny. So there's this by Issa: "Don't worry, spiders, I keep
house casually." And this: "Napped half the day, no one
punished me!" And this gorgeous one, which is about the first
day of snow falling, "Deer licking first frost from each other's
coats." There's something mysterious and gorgeous just about
the way a poem looks. The empty space is as important as the
words themselves.
我们从三⾏俳句诗开始， 读了上百⾸三⾏俳句诗， 这些诗看似简
单但都是杰作。 我会跟他说：“跟我分享⼀下 你最喜欢的诗句
吧。” 有些很有趣。 这是⼩林⼀茶的诗： “蜘蛛别慌， 我打扫房
⼦， 很随意。“ 还有这⾸： “睡了⼤半天， 却没⼈ 处罚我！” ⽽
这⾸优美的诗， 描写的是初雪的场景： “⼩公⿅ 相互舔舐 ⽑绒上
初霜。” 这些俳句，从视觉⾓度 也看起来神秘又华丽。 留⽩与⽂
字本⾝同样重要。

We read this poem by W.S. Merwin, which he wrote after he

saw his wife working in the garden and realized that they
would spend the rest of their lives together. "Let me imagine
that we will come again when we want to and it will be
spring We will be no older than we ever were The worn griefs
will have eased like the early cloud through which morning
slowly comes to itself" I asked Patrick what his favorite line
was, and he said, "We will be no older than we ever were."
He said it reminded him of a place where time just stops,
where time doesn't matter anymore.
我们读了W.S.梅尔⽂ 写的⼀⾸诗， 这是他看到妻⼦ 在花园⾥劳
作后写的， 他意识到他们将 ⼀起度过余⽣。 “让我想象我们随⼼
所欲， 再次归来，届时将是春天， 我们会像往昔那般青春， 磨
旧忧愁将已消逝如朝雾 晨光总要慢慢破云⽽出。“ 我问帕特⾥克

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他最喜欢哪⼀句， 他说， “我们会像往昔那般青春，” 他说这让他
想起⼀个地⽅， 在那⾥，时间停下脚步， 时间不再重要。
And I asked him if he had a place like that, where time lasts
forever. And he said, "My mother." When you read a poem
alongside someone else, the poem changes in meaning.
Because it becomes personal to that person, becomes personal
to you.
我问他有没有 这样⼀个地⽅， 那⾥时间永恒不变。 他答道：“我的
母亲。” 当你和别⼈⼀起读⼀⾸诗时， 这⾸诗的意境会发⽣变化，
因为它分别成了你 和那个⼈的诗。

We then read books, we read so many books, we read the

memoir of Frederick Douglass, an American slave who taught
himself to read and write and who escaped to freedom because
of his literacy. I had grown up thinking of Frederick Douglass
as a hero and I thought of this story as one of uplift and hope.
But this book put Patrick in a kind of panic. He fixated on a
story Douglass told of how, over Christmas, masters give
slaves gin as a way to prove to them that they can't handle
freedom. Because slaves would be stumbling on the fields.
Patrick said he related to this. He said that there are people in
jail who, like slaves, don't want to think about their condition,
because it's too painful. Too painful to think about the past, too
painful to think about how far we have to go.
然后我们读书， 我们读了很多书， 我们读了弗雷德⾥克·道格拉
斯 的回忆录， 他是个美国奴⾪， ⾃学读书写作， 因为有⽂化， 他
得到了⾃由。 我从⼩到⼤视 弗雷德⾥克·道格拉斯为英雄， 觉得
他的故事 励志且充满希望。 但这本书却让 帕特⾥克陷⼊恐慌。 他
着迷于道格拉斯 讲述的⼀个故事： 圣诞节期间，主⼈会 给奴⾪杜
松⼦酒喝， 以此向他们证明 他们掌控不了⾃由， 因为他们会醉得
在⽥野上跌跌撞撞。 帕特⾥克说 他对此很有同感， 他说，监狱⾥
有些⼈ 就像奴⾪⼀样， 不愿去想他们的处境， 因为这太痛苦了，
思考过去太痛苦， 思考久远的未来也太痛苦。

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His favorite line was this line: "Anything, no matter what, to
get rid of thinking! It was this everlasting thinking of my
condition that tormented me." Patrick said that Douglass was
brave to write, to keep thinking. But Patrick would never
know how much he seemed like Douglass to me. How he kept
reading, even though it put him in a panic. He finished the
book before I did, reading it in a concrete stairway with no
light.
他最喜欢的是这段话：“⽆论什么都⾏，只要让我摆脱思考！ 我⽆
时⽆刻不在思考⾃⼰的处境， 这令我饱受折磨。 没有任何法⼦能
让我摆脱这些想法。” 帕特⾥克说道格拉斯勇于去写，不断思考。
但帕特⾥克不知道， 我觉得他很像道格拉斯， 虽然阅读让他感到
恐慌， 但是他却坚持看书。 他在没有灯光的⽔泥楼梯间看书， ⽐
我先读完了⼀本书。

And then we went on to read one of my favorite books,

Marilynne Robinson's "Gilead," which is an extended letter
from a father to his son. He loved this line: "I'm writing this in
part to tell you that if you ever wonder what you've done in
your life ... you have been God's grace to me, a miracle,
something more than a miracle."
然后我们接着读 我最喜欢的书之⼀， 玛⾥琳·鲁宾逊的《基列家
书》， 这是⽗亲写给⼉⼦的 ⼀封很长的家信。 他喜欢这段话：
“我写这封信给你的 原因之⼀是要告诉你， 如果你曾经⾃问 你这
辈⼦做了什么…你是上帝赐予我的恩典， ⼀个奇迹，你的存在甚
⾄超越奇迹。”

Something about this language, its love, its longing, its voice,
rekindled Patrick's desire to write. And he would fill
notebooks upon notebooks with letters to his daughter. In these
beautiful, intricate letters, he would imagine him and his
daughter going canoeing down the Mississippi river. He would
imagine them finding a mountain stream with perfectly clear
water.
这本书所⽤的语⾔， 表达的爱、渴望、呼声， 重新点燃了帕特⾥

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克 写作的欲望。 他在笔记本上 写满了给⼥⼉的信， ⼀本接着⼀
本。 在这些美好、⽂字细腻的信中， 他想象⾃⼰和⼥⼉ 在密西西
⽐河上划独⽊⾈。 他想象他们找到了 ⼀条清澈的⼭间⼩溪。
As I watched Patrick write, I thought to myself, and I now ask
all of you, how many of you have written a letter to somebody
you feel you have let down? It is just much easier to put those
people out of your mind. But Patrick showed up every day,
facing his daughter, holding himself accountable to her, word
by word with intense concentration.
当我看着帕特⾥克写信， 我⼼想， 现在也要问⼀下⼤家， 有多少
⼈给觉得 对不起的⼈写过信？ 不把这些⼈放在⼼上更容易。 但帕
特⾥克每天 都去⾯对他的⼥⼉， 全神贯注、 ⼀个字⼀个字地写，
想要对她负责。

I wanted in my own life to put myself at risk in that way.

Because that risk reveals the strength of one's heart. Let me
take a step back and just ask an uncomfortable question. Who
am I to tell this story, as in this Patrick story? Patrick's the one
who lived with this pain and I have never been hungry a day
in my life. I thought about this question a lot, but what I want
to say is that this story is not just about Patrick. It's about us,
it's about the inequality between us. The world of plenty that
Patrick and his parents and his grandparents have been shut
out of. In this story, I represent that world of plenty. And in
telling this story, I didn't want to hide myself. Hide the power
that I do have.
我也想在⾃⼰的⼈⽣中， 以这种⽅式冒险， 因为这种冒险表现出
了 ⼀个⼈内⼼的强⼤。 退⼀步来说， 我想扪⼼⾃问， 我有什么
资格讲 帕特⾥克的故事？ 帕特⾥克是那个 在苦海中求⽣的⼈，
⽽我这辈⼦ 没有⼀天挨过饿。 我经常想这个问题， 但是我想说的
是， 这故事不仅跟帕特⾥克有关， 它也跟我们有关， 它讲述着⼈
与⼈之间的不平等， 它讲述着 帕特⾥克以及 他的⽗母和祖⽗母
被这个富⾜的世界 拒之门外。 在这个故事⾥， 我代表了那个富⾜
的世界。 我讲这个故事时， 并不想隐瞒⾃⼰， 隐瞒我所拥有的权
⼒。

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In telling this story, I wanted to expose that power and then to
ask, how do we diminish the distance between us? Reading is
one way to close that distance. It gives us a quiet universe that
we can share together, that we can share in equally.
我讲这个故事， 是想显露这种权⼒， 然后问这个问题： 我们如何
能缩短 我们之间的距离？ 读书是缩短这种距离的⼀种⽅法， 它为
我们提供了⼀个可以 平等分享的宁静世界。

You're probably wondering now what happened to Patrick. Did

reading save his life? It did and it didn't. When Patrick got out
of prison, his journey was excruciating. Employers turned him
away because of his record, his best friend, his mother, died at
age 43 from heart disease and diabetes. He's been homeless,
he's been hungry.
你现在可能会在想， 帕特⾥克怎么样了。 读书是否改变了他的命
运？ 是的，但也不完全是。 帕特⾥克出狱时， 他的⼈⽣之旅极其
艰⾟， 因为他有案底， 雇主拒绝聘⽤他， 他母亲，也是他最好的
朋友， 43岁时因⼼脏病和 糖尿病去世。 他⼀直⽆家可归， 忍饥挨
饿。

So people say a lot of things about reading that feel

exaggerated to me. Being literate didn't stop him form being
discriminated against. It didn't stop his mother from dying. So
what can reading do? I have a few answers to end with today.
所以我觉得，很多对 读书的评论都是夸⼤其词。 帕特⾥克并未因
读书识字 ⽽免遭歧视， 也没能使他母亲免于病逝。 那么读书到底
有什么⽤呢？ 我想⽤⼏个答案 来结束今天的演讲。

Reading charged his inner life with mystery, with imagination,

with beauty. Reading gave him images that gave him joy:
mountain, ocean, deer, frost. Words that taste of a free, natural
world. Reading gave him a language for what he had lost. How
precious are these lines from the poet Derek Walcott? Patrick
memorized this poem. "Days that I have held, days that I have
lost, days that outgrow, like daughters, my harboring arms."

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读书使他的内⼼世界 充满神秘、想象⼒ 和美好的事物， 读书给予
他欢乐的画⾯： 深⼭、⼤海、⼩⿅、秋霜。 给予他体验⾃由⾃在
的 ⼤⾃然的⽂字， 读书给予他倾述 所失去的东西的语⾔。 诗⼈德
⾥克·沃尔科特写的 那⾸诗是多珍贵啊！ 帕特⾥克记住了它： “我
拥有的岁⽉， 我丢失的岁⽉， 渐长的岁⽉，如⼥⼉渐长 再也容不
进停泊的，我的臂弯。”

Reading taught him his own courage. Remember that he kept

reading Frederick Douglass, even though it was painful. He
kept being conscious, even though being conscious hurts.
Reading is a form of thinking, that's why it's difficult to read
because we have to think. And Patrick chose to think, rather
than to not think. And last, reading gave him a language to
speak to his daughter. Reading inspired him to want to write.
The link between reading and writing is so powerful. When we
begin to read, we begin to find the words. And he found the
words to imagine the two of them together. He found the words
to tell her how much he loved her.
读书赋予了他勇⽓。 我记得他⼀直在看 道格拉斯的书， 尽管这令
他很痛苦。 他⼀直保持清醒， 即使这清醒让⼈⼼痛。 读书是⼀种
思维⽅式， 这就是为什么读书很难—— 因为我们必须思考。 帕特
⾥克选择思考， ⽽不是拒绝思考。 最后，读书给了他 与⼥⼉交谈
的语⾔， 读书激发了他写作的欲望， 阅读与写作之间的联系 是如
此的强⼤。 在我们开始读书时， 我们就开始找到了表达情感的⽂
字。 他找到了形容⽗⼥俩 共处情景的⽂字， 他找到了合适的⽂字
来表达他对⼥⼉深沉的爱。

Reading also changed our relationship with each other. It gave

us an occasion for intimacy, to see beyond our points of view.
And reading took an unequal relationship and gave us a
momentary equality. When you meet somebody as a reader,
you meet him for the first time, newly, freshly. There is no way
you can know what his favorite line will be. What memories
and private griefs he has. And you face the ultimate privacy of
his inner life. And then you start to wonder, "Well, what is my

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inner life made of? What do I have that's worthwhile to share
with another?"
读书也改变了 ⼈与⼈之间的关系， 它给了我们 彼此亲近的机
会， 跳出我们的思维框架。 读书消除了我们 不平等的关系， 给
了我们短暂的平等。 当我们以读者的⾝份 遇见⼀个⼈时， 我们
初次 带着新鲜感见到这个⼈， 我们不可能知道 他喜欢哪些⽂
字， 有什么往事， ⼼⾥有什么悲伤。 你⾯对的是他内⼼ 最深处
的秘密， 然后你开始想知道： 那我的内⼼世界⾥有什么？ 我有
什么值得与别⼈分享的？

I want to close on some of my favorite lines from Patrick's

letters to his daughter. "The river is shadowy in some places
but the light shines through the cracks of trees ... On some
branches hang plenty of mulberries. You stretch your arm
straight out to grab some." And this lovely letter, where he
writes, "Close your eyes and listen to the sounds of the words.
I know this poem by heart and I would like you to know it,
too."
在帕特⾥克给⼥⼉的信中， 有些话我特别喜欢， 我想⽤这些话来
结束演讲： “河流的某些部分被阴影遮住， 不过光线会从树⽊的
缝隙透进来…… 许多桑葚悬挂在⼀些低矮树枝上。 你伸长了⼿想
去摘。” 还有这封很优美的信， 他在信中写道： “把眼睛闭上，听
那些字词的声⾳ 我把它背得很熟， 我想让你也知道它。”

Thank you so much everyone.

谢谢⼤家。

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饭圈⼥孩的爱
For the love of fangrils
Four years ago, a teenage girl changed my life in one
conversation. She was 13 years old, she was a friend's little
cousin and she casually told me that she had met the man she
was going to marry. So I said, "OK, tell me about him." And she
told me that his name was Harry Styles.
四年前， 我与⼀名少⼥的对话 改变了我的⽣活轨迹。 她当时 13
岁， 是我⼀个朋友的表亲， 她不经意间告诉我 她遇到了要与之结
婚的⼈。 我就说，“是嘛，和我说说他吧。” 然后她告诉我 他的名字
是哈⾥ · 斯泰尔斯。

So I laughed a little, like you, and then she said, "I know you
don't think I'm serious, but I'm actually going to be with him.
Because I love him so much that I would slit someone's throat to
be with him."
我当时也像你们⼀样笑了笑， 她接着说， “我知道你认为我不是认
真的， 但是我真的会和他在⼀起的。 因为我太爱他了， 爱到可以
为他去割别⼈的喉咙。“

And that was the moment that I became obsessed with fangirls.
I didn't know it then, but that moment would transform the
course of my life and go on to change everything that I thought
I knew about being an adult, being a woman and being truly
happy.
从那时起， 我开始着迷于饭圈⼥孩这⼀群体。 尽管当时我还没意识
到， 那⼀刻将会改变我的⼈⽣轨迹 并改变我作为成年⼈， 作为⼀
名⼥性， ⼀名快乐的⼈， 我以为我理解的全部事物。

But before we get started, what is a fangirl, and what is a Harry

Styles? Well, according to the dictionary, the Merriam-Webster
dictionary, a fangirl is a "girl or woman who is an extremely or
overly enthusiastic fan of someone or something." Technically,
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you can have fangirls of anything, but my specific interest was
in fangirls of boy bands. Because of their somewhat lethal
reputation.
在我们开始之前， 什么是饭圈⼥孩， 谁是哈⾥ · 斯泰尔斯？ 根
据韦⽒词典， 饭圈⼥孩指的是 “⼀个对于某⼈或某物 过于痴迷的⼥
性。“ 理论上来说， 任何⼈，事物都可以有饭圈⼥孩， 但我⽐较感
兴趣的是 男团的饭圈⼥孩。 因为他们有着致命的名⽓。

I remember, my dad had told me this story of some Beatles

fans in the '60s, who apparently had torn a parked BMW to
literal pieces, because the band had supposedly just been sat in
it. In the '60s, the Beatles were the biggest boy band on the
planet, but when I met this girl in 2015, the biggest boy band
on the planet was none other than One Direction. And Harry
Styles was a member of One Direction. Harry Styles was
reputed for his compassionate demeanor and perfect hair. I
learn this when I read thousands of tweets about him. I learn
that he is a sweet cupcake. I learn that he is a perfect angel. I
learn that one time, he vomited on the side of a freeway in
California and that within two hours, fans had turned the site of
the vomit into a sacred shrine.
我还记得，我⽗亲曾和我 讲过 60 年代披头⼠粉丝的⼀个故事， 只
因为乐队成员可能乘过 那辆停着的宝马车， 他们就把它拆成碎⽚
了抢回家了。 在 60 年代，披头⼠是当时地球上 最出名的男⼦乐
队， 但我认识那位少⼥是在 2015 年， 当时世界上最出名的男⼦团
体是 单向乐队。 哈⾥ · 斯泰尔斯曾是单向乐队 的⼀名成员。 哈
⾥ · 斯泰尔斯以平易近⼈ 和完美的头发⽽出名。 我是阅读了⼏千
条 关于他的推⽂才了解到这些的。 我知道他是“甜⼼⼩蛋糕”。 “完
美的⼩天使”。 我还了解到有⼀次， 他在加州的⾼速公路旁呕吐
了， 不到两⼩时， 粉丝就把他呕吐的地点 改造成了⼀个圣地。

I scroll through --I scroll through fan-made paintings of Harry,

baby photos of him, paintings of baby photos of him. I watch
videos that show me how to make DIY love totems for Harry
-- for example, a lampshade covered in photos of his face, or a

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key ring that states the exact time of his birth. I read hours of
fan fiction, and I fall down this specific rabbit hole of stories
that actually place me as a protagonist inside of various
imagined romances with him. So in one, I tell him that I'm
pregnant with his child. In another, we meet in hospital where
we're both fighting cancer, and in another, we fall so deeply in
love that we become fugitives who kill people.
我翻看了——我翻看了粉丝为哈⾥画的画， 他孩童时期的照⽚，
根据他孩童时期照⽚画的画， 我看过教你如何制作 哈⾥的爱的图
腾的视频教程—— 例如，把他的照⽚贴在灯罩上， 或者在钥匙圈
上刻上他的出⽣时间。 我读了好⼏个⼩时的同⼈⼩说， 导致我后
来进⼊了⼀个新世界， 在这个世界⾥， 我成为了和他 各种浪漫故
事中的主⾓。 其中⼀个故事中， 我告诉他我怀了他的孩⼦。 另⼀
个故事中，我和他因为 同时在医院与癌症抗争⽽相识， 还有⼀个
故事⾥， 我们由于太爱彼此了 我们都成为了杀⼈的不法之徒。

But then ... something unthinkable happens. One Direction, the

biggest boy band on the planet, loses a member. Zayn Malik
quits the band, and the internet explodes with feels. I read
tweets as these girls describe the physical pain of this loss, how
they can't eat or sleep or walk. I read them describe how much
Zayn had meant to them. And I watch videos of 10-year-old
girls crying. But, like, really crying.
但之后…… ⼀件意想不到的事情发⽣了。 单向乐队， 这颗星球上
最出名的男⼦乐队， 失去了⼀名成员。 扎因 · 马利克退出了乐
队， ⽹络随之爆炸了。 我见过⼀些描述姑娘们因为这件事 ⽽感受
到的⽣理疼痛的推特， 她们吃不下，睡不着，有些甚⾄都不会⾛路
了。 我看到她们描述扎因对她们⽽⾔有多重要。 我还看到了10 岁
⼩姑娘 哭泣的视频。 是真的在哭泣。

And then I watch as people repost these videos but with new
titles that contain words like "crazy" and "creepy" and
"insane." And suddenly, my YouTube sidebar contains
"Compilation: Fans react to Zayn leaving. Psycho alert!" Then
I watch as mainstream news outlets cover the story. I read them
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describe these "young banshees." I read one journalist say, "It's
a commonly known fact since the age of the Beatles that there
is nothing scarier in this world than a group of excited teenage
girls."
再然后，我看到⼤家开始 带上新标题重新推送这些视频 这些新标
题包括了像“疯狂”， “诡异”，和“精神错乱”等词。 突然间，我油管
的侧栏就 出现了这样的内容： “精选：粉丝对扎因退出的反应。 精
神病警告！” 之后我看到了主流媒体 是怎样报道这则新闻的。 我看
到了她们是怎样 描述这些“年轻⼥妖”的。 ⼀名记者这样报道， “从
披头⼠时期， 有⼀个事实就⼴为⼈知了 那就是这个世界上没有⽐
⼀群激动的⼩姑娘更可怕的事物了。“

And then I ask myself a question I've never considered in my

life. Why is it that the image of young girls screaming their
lungs out with excitement for a pop star is considered crazy,
psycho, scary, a bit much? But the image of young boys
screaming their lungs out for a footballer is perfectly normal?
Boys crying at the footie, that's the love of the game. Girls
crying at a Justin Bieber concert? That's pathetic.
然后我就问了⾃⼰ ⼀个之前从没想过的问题。 为什么⼀群⼩姑娘
激动地为某个 明星嘶吼的画⾯ 被视为是疯狂的，精神错乱的， 可
怕的，太过了？ 但是⼩伙⼦们为了⾜球队员 ⽽嘶吼的场⾯却被视
为再正常不过了？ 男孩们因为⾜球⽽落泪， 那是他们对⽐赛爱的
表现。 ⼥孩们在贾斯汀 · ⽐伯的演唱会上哭泣？ 多么的可悲。

And as soon as I realized this double standard, I realized that

all of my curiosity about fangirls had been sparked by exactly
the same judgments. I, too, had suspected that they were a bit
crazy.
⼀旦我意识到了这种双重标准。 我就意识到我所有对于饭圈⼥孩的
好奇⼼ 都被这种判断⽽激起了。 我之前也觉得她们过于疯狂了。

I'd looked at images of girls screaming for the Beatles, the

Backstreet Boys, One Direction, and the word that had come to
mind was not "excitement" but "hysteria." And what I did not
know was the history of that word.
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我看着那些⼥孩为了披头⼠、 后街男孩、单向乐队嘶吼的画⾯，
脑海⾥蹦出来的词语不是“激动” ⽽是“歇斯底⾥”。 我之前并不知道
“歇斯底⾥” 这个词的历史。

That in the 19th century, hysteria was considered to be a

legitimate female mental disorder that could be diagnosed by
doctors if women displayed excessive emotion or difficult
behavior. The word "hysterical" comes from the Latin word
"hystericus," meaning "of the womb," because it was thought
that this condition was caused by a dysfunction of the uterus.
And so, a treatment for hysteria was a hysterectomy. Which is
what we still call a removal of the womb.
在 19 世纪， “歇斯底⾥”被视为⼀种 公认的的⼥性⼼理疾病 如果⼀
名⼥性表现出 过于激动的情绪 或是不听话的⾏为，就会 被医⽣诊
断为患有此疾病。 “hysterical（歇斯底⾥）”这个词源于 拉丁词
“hystericus”， 意思是“与⼦宫有关的”， 因为这种症状被视为是由于
⼦宫功能失调所导致的。 对于歇斯底⾥症的治疗⼿段是⼦宫切除
术。 就是我们现在所说的切除⼦宫的⼿术。

And at this point, I decide to redeclare my obsession. Because I

am no longer just obsessed with fangirls. Now, I'm obsessed
with the way that the world talks about fangirls and the way
that the world looks at young, female enthusiasm. Because, I
want to know, if girls grow up in a world where words like
"crazy" and "psycho" and "hysterical" are casually used to
describe female enthusiasm, then how does that shape the way
that those girls get to see themselves?
到了这个时候， 我想重新声明下令我着迷的是什么。 我现在已经
不仅仅着迷于饭圈⼥孩了。 现在我痴迷于这个世界 谈论饭圈⼥孩
的⽅式 和这个世界是如何看待年轻⼥性的热情。 因为，我想去了
解， 如果⼀个⼥孩从⼩成长的世界会经常⽤“疯狂”、“神经病”、
“歇斯底⾥”等词语来描述 ⼥性热忱， 这会如何影响 这些⼥孩是怎
样看待⾃⼰的？

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And if girls grow up in a world that tells them that they are
designed just a bit crazier than the boys, then isn't that a little bit
like telling them that they are born less capable of rationality
than men, less capable of reason and unworthy of the same
intellectual respect as their brothers.
⽽且如果⼥孩们成长于⼀个 告诉她们 她们天⽣就⽐男孩们更疯狂的
世界， 这⽆异于是在告诉她们 她们天⽣就没有男⽣理性， 讲道理，
没有她们的兄弟那样有智慧。

Separately, I become obsessed with female screams. Not in a

creepy way. I'm talking about, like, those shrieks and squeals
that fangirls let out at concerts. I want to know why it is that
some people instinctively flinch when I merely describe the
sound, like it's painful just to think about it. Then I meet Amy
Hume. She's a voice coach. And she blows my mind. Because
she tells me that the female voice between the ages of 11 and 13
is one of the most interesting things to study. Why? Because
there's this research by Carol Gilligan that says that is the age
when girls begin to perform and alter their voices. For example,
adding breath for maturity, (Imitating vocal fry) or adding vocal
fry for apathy.
我开始着迷于⼥性的尖叫。 不是以⼀种奇怪的⽅式。 我指的是那些
饭圈⼥孩在演唱会 发出的尖叫声。 我想了解为什么 有些⼈只是听我
形容那种声⾳ 就会本能的退缩， 好像只要谈到它就很痛苦。 之后我
认识了艾⽶ · 休谟。 ⼀名发声教练。 她所说的话让我感到很惊
讶。 她告诉我 11 到 13 岁 ⼥孩的声⾳ 是研究起来最有趣的事物之
⼀。 为什么？ 因为根据卡罗尔 · 吉利根所做的研究， 那个年龄段
是 ⼥⽣开始表演和改变⾃⼰声⾳的阶段。 例如，为了表现得成熟 ⽽
在声⾳中加⽓⾳， 或者⽤⽓泡⾳来表现得淡漠。

But tell me, according to this research, when do you reckon boys
begin to perform and alter their voices? Now, I guessed 18,
because "men mature later," right?
你们猜猜，根据这项研究， 你们觉得男孩们是从⼏岁开始 开始表演
与改变他们的声⾳的？ 我猜是 18 岁， 因为“男⽣成熟的晚”，对吗？

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Wrong. The answer was four years old. Because that is when
boys learn not to cry or squeal. That those are not manly
sounds. And that's when I realized that a fangirl's shriek is
therefore like a superpower.
错了。 答案是四岁。 那时起，男孩学会不去哭 和不尖声说话。 因
为那不是男⼦汉会发出的声⾳。 ⽽我也是在那时才觉得 饭圈⼥孩
的尖叫因此 像是⼀种超能⼒。

Because it's this fearless and honest expression of pure

celebration and joy, and it's a sound they have not forgotten
how to make. I actually reckon that fangirls have a second
superpower, because they know how to do something that most
of my adult friends have no ides how to do. Fangirls know how
to love something without apology or fear.
因为那是⼀种⽆畏的， 真诚的情感表达 单纯的为了庆祝与表达喜
悦， 那是⼀种 她们还没有忘记该怎么去发出的声⾳。 ⽽且我认为
饭圈⼥孩还有第⼆种超能⼒， 因为她们有去做某事的能⼒， ⽽这
种能⼒我⼤多数成年朋友都没有。 饭圈⼥孩知道如何没有 歉意与
恐惧地去爱⼀样事物。

My years of researching fangirls culminated in this

determination to write something that celebrates and vindicates
them. So I decided to make this thriller comedy musical that
sounds like a Beyoncé concert meets rave meets church. I
called it "Fangirls," and I designed it like a Trojan horse. So it
appears to make fun of these young women, only to, like,
smuggle them into your heart.
经过我多年来对饭圈⼥孩的研究， 我最终决定 要写些什么来歌颂
饭圈⼥孩， 为她们正名。 我觉得要制作⼀个 带有惊悚和喜剧风格
的⾳乐剧。 这个⾳乐剧听上去像是混杂着 狂欢和教堂元素的碧昂
斯的演唱会。 我将其取名为《饭圈⼥孩》， 我把它设计的像是⼀
个特洛伊⽊马⼀样。 看上去是为了取笑那些年轻的姑娘们， 实际
上，是为了偷偷地 把她们装进你们的⼼⾥。

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At one point -- Thanks. At one point, a girl sings, "Why
should I hide my feelings? Because they annoy you? Or
because it isn't what the boys do?" And as a former fangirl
cynic, that is the question that I want to leave you all with.
Why should fangirls tone it down? Because they're crazy? Or
because our definition of "reasonable" is based on what it is
acceptable for men to do? What if we rethink the judgments
we've been conditioned to feel when we see young women
screaming their lungs out with excitement? What if we
decided to rethink the words we use to describe that joy, and
what if we didn't allow ourselves to diminish girls with words
that undermine their intelligence, their interests and their
capability? Because, according to my research, they are
capable of building a shrine to Harry Styles's vomit on the
side of a freeway within two hours.
在⾳乐剧的某⼀刻—— 谢谢。 某⼀刻，⼀个⼥⽣唱到： “为什么
我要隐藏我的情感？ 因为它们烦到你们了吗？ 还是因为这些不是
男孩们会做的事？” 作为⼀名曾鄙视过饭圈⼥孩的⼈， 这是⼀个
我希望⼤家都能去想想的问题。 为什么饭圈⼥孩要收敛她们的情
感？ 因为她们疯了吗？ 还是因为我们其实是根据 男性能被⼈认可
的⾏为 ⽽定义“理性”这个词的？ 当我们看到年轻姑娘们 带着激动
的⼼情尖叫着的时候 我们能不能重新想想 那些对她们的惯有看
法？ 我们能不能重新想想 该⽤什么样的词语 去描述她们的那种喜
悦， 我们能不能不让⾃⼰去⽤那些 会削弱她们智慧， 兴趣与能⼒
的词语来形容她们？ 因为根据我的研究， 她们可是有能⼒在两⼩
时之内 把哈⾥ · 斯泰尔斯在⾼速公路旁 的呕吐地点改造成⼀个
圣地。

That takes some executive skills in logistics and

communication.If that isn't "capable," I don't know what is.I
reckon, instead of judging fangirls, we can learn from them.
We can all die tomorrow, so why not love things while we're
still breathing?
那可是需要⼀定的组织与沟通等 管理技巧才能做到的。如果那还
不算“有能⼒的”， 我不知道什么才算了。我觉得，与其对饭圈⼥

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孩评头论⾜， 我们可以从她们⾝上学到些什么。 我们明天都可能
会死。 所以为什么不趁我们 还活着的时候去爱我们所爱呢？

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改变⾃⼰只需要两年时间
You don’t need more than 2 years
Two years is nothing, but at the same time a lot can be
accomplished in two years.You can try a sport you've always
wanted to start, and become great at it.You can start a
morning routine and affect your mood and stress at a deep
level.You can meditate for a few minutes per day, become
more self-aware and change the way you react to
problems.You can start a business and make it a big success.
两年的时间不算长，但与此同时，很多事情都能在两年内完成你
可以尝试练习某个⼀直想要学会的运动，然后成为⾼⼿。你可以
养成⼀种晨间习惯, 在深层次上改善你的情绪和压⼒。你可以每
天冥想⼏分钟，这样会更有⾃省⼒，也会改变你处理问题的⽅
式。你可以开启⼀项事业，让它⾛向成功。

Two years is nothing and extremely easy to waste, but with

small actions, substantial commitment and consistency,you
can make it count a lot.Two years being passive is a blink of
an eye. Two years moving towards goals every single day is
plenty of time. It's just a matter of perspective.There is
nothing that cannot be accomplished in two year'swith
enough effort.
两年时间真的不长，浪费起来⾮常容易。但是，只需⼩⼩的⾏
动、切实的付出与坚持，你就可以让它变得意义⾮凡。如果你消
极度⽇，两年就在眨眼之间飞逝; 如果每⼀天都朝着⽬标前进，
那么这两年就会很充实。这只是看待事情的⾓度问题。只要你⾜
够努⼒,没有什么是在两年内⽆法完成的。

You're not too old for the things you were dreaming of doing
when you were a kid. You can still do extreme sports if you
wish to. You can start playing a musical instrument.You can
become a photographer.

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对于实现年少的梦想，你永远都不会太⽼。如果你想，你还是可
以去做极限运动，还是可以去玩乐器，还是可以成为⼀名摄影
师。

In two years from now, you'll be great at it if you really want

to. Don't let your past dictate who you are. You don't have to
be the same person you have always been.Don't let fear
control you. Don't let the social standards conform you. Age
is just a number, we should all empower our uniqueness and
fight against our' own limitations.
从现在起的两年时间，只要你真⼼诚意地追求，你就能变得超级
厉害。不要让你的过去定义你是谁，你不⽤做那个⼀成不变的
⼈。不要被恐惧⽀配，不要被社会标准束缚。年龄只是⼀个数
字， 我们都应该突出⾃⼰的独特之处，并与⾃我设限⽃争。

By doing things you love on a daily basis, even for a few

minutes, you'll learn to enjoy the journey. The days will
become more than just a means to an end. You'll see yourself
evolving. If you had the choice between feeling great,
energetic and in a positive mood, versus feeling sleepy and
moody, what would you choose?
每天去做你真正喜欢的事情，哪怕只有⼏分钟，你会爱上这个过
程。光阴不再虚度，每天都能看到⾃⼰的进步。如果在感觉良
好、精⼒充沛的积极⼼态，和昏昏欲睡、喜怒⽆常的消极⼼态⾥
做选择，你会选哪⼀个?

It's just a choice, which combined with small, even tiny

actions like reducing meat Or' alcohol consumption, or simply
drinking more water, walking the stairs or biking to the office,
can do wonders. It's not about the end goal. It's about daily
actions towards it. It's also the reason why morning routines,
Or ten minutes daily meditation sessions are bringing such
great changes in terms of mood, productivity, stress
management, etc.

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这就是个简单的选择，再加上微⼩的⾏动，⽐如少吃⾁、少喝
酒、或者简单的多喝点⽔、爬楼梯或者骑⾃⾏车去上班等，你就
能创造奇迹了。并不是说这样做就能达成终极⽬标，⽽是这样做
的每⼀天都会离终点更近。这也可以解释为什么晨间习惯或者每
天⼗分钟的冥想，能给⼈的情绪、⽣产⼒和抗压能⼒带来巨⼤的
改变。

Replace TV shows and movies by documentaries and books.

Monitor your days more, get in control of how you spend your
time.Take back the control of your health, mood and time.
Practice gratefulness. See the results in two years.
把电视节⽬和电影替换成纪录⽚和书籍。监督⾃⼰的⽇常,掌控⾃
⼰的时间分配。拿回你对健康、情绪和时间的掌控权，学会表达
感激，你会在两年内看到成果。

Be kind with people. Start with your family, don't go mad one
more time. Stop judging, see the good in them and remember
that you love them more than anything.
善待他⼈，从你的家庭开始，不要再对家⼈发脾⽓，停⽌批判，
看到他们好的那⾯，并记住你爱他们超过⼀切。

In your working life, being kind and nice can bring you. more
respect from people who surround you than being bossy and
aggressive. Learn to say“No”often (for the right reasons),
people will accept it more and value your“Yes”more, because
your time's value will increase.
职场上，⽐起发号施令、争强好胜，与⼈为善会帮助你赢得周围
⼈更多的尊重。在有正当理由的情况下，学会经常说”不”，⼈们会
接受的，并且更看重你说“好”的时候，因为你的单位时间价值会增
加。

You don't need to be scary to be respected. It's about building

trust and healthy long term relationships. Try this and in two
years from now your reality will be so different. Silence your

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ego, love and trust others enough for twoyears, harvest for ten
years Or more.
不是只有变得“凶”才会被尊重, 重点是怎样建⽴彼此信任、健康的
长期关系。试试看这样做，从现在起的两年时间⾥，你的⽣活将
会变得⼤不⼀样。⽤两年的时间去压制你的⾃负，去爱他⼈，给
他们充分的信任，那么在⼗年甚⾄更长的时间⾥你都会因此受
益。

It has a lot to do with setting goals, but goals without actions

are just wishes. The easiest way to reach goals is through daily
and consistent small (even tiny) actions. It's all about
consistency, commitment, and regularity.
这和设定的⽬标有很⼤的关系，但是没有⾏动的⽬标只是⽩⽇做
梦。达成⽬标最简单的⽅法,就是通过每天坚持的微⼩⾏动,这⼀切
在于建⽴⼀致性、坚持付出和养成习惯。

Success is not an event, it's a process and a mindset. Small

actions are putting you in the position of succeeding. Small
actions make huge differences. Look at yourself in the mirror
in two years and you'll think “that was quick!".
成功并⾮偶然，它是长久的过程和⼼态。微⼩的⾏动可以让你踏
上成功的正轨，微⼩的⾏动可以带来巨⼤的改变。两年后，在镜
⼦⾥看到⾃⼰，你会感叹:“时间过得真快呀!”

EVERY DAY COUNTS.

每⼀天都很重要。

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感到抑郁不要默默承受
Don't suffer from your depression in silence

What are you doing on this stage in front of all these people?
你站在这个舞台上做什么？ 还当着这么多⼈的⾯？

Run now.
马上逃跑！

That's the voice of my anxiety talking. Even when there's

absolutely nothing wrong, I sometimes get this overwhelming
sense of doom, like danger is lurking just around the corner.
这是我内⼼的紧张情绪在说话。 即便⼀切都进⾏得很顺利， 我也
经常会有这种巨⼤的挫败感， 总觉得危险⽆处不在。

You see, a few years ago, I was diagnosed with generalized

anxiety and depression -- two conditions that often go hand in
hand. Now, there was a time I wouldn't have told anybody,
especially not in front of a big audience. As a black woman,
I've had to develop extraordinary resilience to succeed. And
like most people in my community, I had the misconception
that depression was a sign of weakness, a character flaw. But I
wasn't weak; I was a high achiever. I'd earned a Master's
degree in Media Studies and had a string of high-profile jobs
in the film and television industries.
⼏年前， 我被诊断出患有焦虑症， 和抑郁症—— 这两种疾病经常
会同时发⽣。 这段经历我本不愿跟任何⼈分享， 尤其是当着这么
多⼈的⾯。 作为⼀名⿊⼈⼥性， 我必须有极强的 适应能⼒才能取
得成功。 如同我社区中的⼤部分⼈⼀样， 我误以为抑郁症是软弱
的表现， 是⼀种⼈格缺陷。但我并不软弱， 我还蛮成功的。 我获
得了媒体研究的硕⼠学位， 在电影和电视⾏业 有⼀系列不错的履
历。

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I'd even won two Emmy Awards for my hard work. Sure, I was
totally spent, I lacked interest in things I used to enjoy, barely
ate, struggled with insomnia and felt isolated and depleted. But
depressed? No, not me.
我的出⾊表现还让我获得了两次艾美奖。 没错，我感到精疲⼒尽，
我对之前喜欢的事情丧失了兴趣， 茶饭不思， 被失眠所困扰， 觉
得孤单和消沉。 但是抑郁症？ 跟我没什么关系吧。

It took weeks before I could admit it, but the doctor was right: I
was depressed. Still, I didn't tell anybody about my diagnosis. I
was too ashamed. I didn't think I had the right to be depressed. I
had a privileged life with a loving family and a successful
career. And when I thought about the unspeakable horrors that
my ancestors had been through in this country so that I could
have it better, my shame grew even deeper. I was standing on
their shoulders. How could I let them down? I would hold my
head up, put a smile on my face and never tell a soul.
过了好⼏周我才承认， 医⽣是对的， 我的确抑郁了。 但我仍然没
有告诉任何⼈。 我觉得羞愧难当。 我从没想过我也有抑郁的权
利。 我⽣活条件优越， 家庭幸福，事业有成。 尤其当我想到， 正
因为我的祖先们在这个国家 遭受到那些⽆法描述的苦难， 所以我
才能过得好⼀些， 我就越发感到愧疚。 我是站在他们肩膀上的。
我怎么能让他们失望呢？ 我只能昂起头， ⾯带微笑， 不对任何⼈
说。 2013年7⽉4⽇，

On July 4, 2013, my world came crashing in on me. That was

the day I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my 22-
year-old nephew, Paul, had ended his life, after years of battling
depression and anxiety.
我的世界彻底崩溃了。 我接到母亲的电话， 说我22岁的侄⼦，保
罗， 在与焦虑症和抑郁症抗争多年之后， 结束了⾃⼰的⽣命。

There are no words that can describe the devastation I felt.

Paul and I were very close, but I had no idea he was in so much
pain. Neither one of us had ever talked to the other about our

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struggles. The shame and stigma kept us both silent.
没有语⾔⾜以形容我的绝望。 我跟保罗很亲密， 但我从来不知道
他遭受着如此⼤的痛苦。 我们也从未跟对⽅提起过 ⾃⼰的挣扎与
抗争。 羞愧与耻辱感让我俩都保持沉默。

Now, my way of dealing with adversity is to face it head on, so

I spent the next two years researching depression and anxiety,
and what I found was mind-blowing. The World Health
Organization reports that depression is the leading cause of
sickness and disability in the world. While the exact cause of
depression isn't clear, research suggests that most mental
disorders develop, at least in part, because of a chemical
imbalance in the brain, and/or an underlying genetic
predisposition. So you can't just shake it off.
现在，我应对逆境的⽅式 就是昂⾸向前， 接下来我花了两年时间
来研究抑郁症和焦虑症， ⽽结果让我⼤吃⼀惊。 根据世界卫⽣组
织的报告， 抑郁症是在世界范围内 导致疾病和伤残 最主要的原
因。 导致抑郁症的准确原因尚不清楚， 研究显⽰，⼤部分精神疾
病的发⽣， ⾄少有⼀部分原因， 是因为⼤脑化学物质的不平衡，
以及/或者潜在的遗传易感性。 因此你⽆法根除它。

For black Americans, stressors like racism and socioeconomic

disparities put them at a 20 percent greater risk of developing a
mental disorder, yet they seek mental health services at about
half the rate of white Americans. One reason is the stigma,
with 63 percent of black Americans mistaking depression for a
weakness. Sadly, the suicide rate among black children has
doubled in the past 20 years.
对于美国⿊⼈⽽⾔， 来⾃种族歧视和 社会经济差异上的压⼒ 使他
们患上⼼理疾病的 ⼏率要⾼20%， 然⽽他们寻求⼼理治疗的⽐例
仅仅达到美国⽩⼈的⼀半左右。 原因之⼀就是感到羞耻， 有63%
的美国⿊⼈将抑郁症 误认为是软弱的表现。 令⼈悲伤的是，⿊⼈
⼉童的⾃杀率 在过去20年⾥增加了⼀倍。

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Now, here's the good news: seventy percent of people
struggling with depression will improve with therapy,
treatment and medication. Armed with this information, I
made a decision: I wasn't going to be silent anymore. With my
family's blessing, I would share our story in hopes of sparking
a national conversation.

当然，也有好消息： 受到抑郁症困扰的⼈， 在治疗和药物的帮助

下， 有70%情况会有所好转。 掌握了这些信息后， 我做出了⼀个
决定： 我不会再沉默下去。 有家⼈的祝福， 我要把我们的故事分
享出去， 希望能引发⼀场全国性的⼤讨论。

A friend, Kelly Pierre-Louis, said, "Being strong is killing us."

She's right. We have got to retire those tired, old narratives of
the strong black woman and the super-masculine black man,
who, no matter how many times they get knocked down, just
shake it off and soldier on. Having feelings isn't a sign of
weakness. Feelings mean we're human. And when we deny
our humanity, it leaves us feeling empty inside, searching for
ways to self-medicate in order to fill the void. My drug was
high achievement.
我的⼀个朋友， 凯丽·⽪埃尔-露易丝说， “逞强在毁掉我们。” 她
说的没错。 我们要摈弃那些⽼旧过时的叙述， ⽐如坚强的⿊⼈⼥
性， ⽆⽐阳刚的⿊⼈男性， 他们⽆论被击倒多少次， 都会爬起
来，拍拍灰，继续前进。 感情丰富并不是软弱的标志。 那意味着
我们还有⼈性。 如果我们连⾃⼰的⼈性都否定了， 那就成了空⼼
⼈， 终⽇寻找⾃我治疗的良药， 填补内⼼的空⽩。 我的良药就是
巨⼤的成功。

These days, I share my story openly, and I ask others to share

theirs, too. I believe that's what it takes to help people who
may be suffering in silence to know that they are not alone and
to know that with help, they can heal.
这些天来，我公开分享⾃⼰的故事， 我也⿎励⼤家分享⾃⼰的。
我坚信必须这么做才能 帮助那些在沉默中忍受痛苦的⼈们 让他们

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知道⾃⼰并不孤独， 让他们相信⾃⼰需要帮助， 是可以被治愈
的。

Now, I still have my struggles, particularly with the anxiety,

but I'm able to manage it through daily mediation, yoga and a
relatively healthy diet.
现在我依然在遭受痛苦， 主要还是焦虑症， 但我可以控制它， 通
过每天服药，练瑜伽 以及“相对健康的”饮⾷。

If I feel like things are starting to spiral, I make an

appointment to see my therapist, a dynamic black woman
named Dawn Armstrong, who has a great sense of humor and
a familiarity that I find comforting. I will always regret that I
couldn't be there for my nephew. But my sincerest hope is that
I can inspire others with the lesson that I've learned.
⼀旦我感觉⾃⼰状态不好了， 我就会约我的治疗师见⾯， 她是⼀
位充满活⼒的⿊⼈⼥性叫 道恩·阿姆斯特朗， 她很幽默， 很亲
切，让我感到安⼼。 我⼀直⾮常后悔 没有能为我侄⼦做些什么。
但我真诚地希望 能让⼤家吸取我的教训。

Life is beautiful. Sometimes it's messy, and it's always

unpredictable. But it will all be OK when you have your
support system to help you through it. I hope that if your
burden gets too heavy, you'll ask for a hand, too.
⽣命是美丽的。 有时候也会不顺利， 永远充满未知。 但⼀切都会
好起来的， 只要拥有能帮助到你的体制。 希望你们在撑不住的时
候， 也会去寻求帮助。

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⾼海拔如何影响你的身体
How high altitude affects your body
If someone teleported from sea level to the top of Mt. Everest,
things would go bad fast. At an altitude of 8,848 meters,
barometric pressure is approximately 33% of what it is at sea
level. This means there's significantly less oxygen in the air,
and our teleported individual would likely suffocate in
minutes. However, for people that make this same journey
over the course of a month, it's possible to survive at the peak
for hours. So what can happen to our bodies in just one month
that allows us to endure this incredible altitude?
⼀个⼈如果从海平⾯ 瞬移到珠穆朗玛峰顶上， 其⾝体情况会迅速
恶化。 在 8848 ⽶的海拔⾼度上， ⼤⽓压只有海平⾯⾼度的三分
之⼀， 这意味着空⽓中的氧⽓极度稀少， ⽽这个可怜的⼈ 在⼏分
钟内就会窒息。 但是，那些花⼀个⽉攀登到⼭顶的⼈ 却能够在⼭
顶上存活好⼏个⼩时。 所以，在这短短的⼀个⽉当中 我们的⾝体
究竟发⽣了什么， 让我们能够忍受 这⾼得不可思议的海拔？

Let’s imagine you’re one of the 5.8 billion people living less
than 500 meters above sea level. When you take a breath at
this altitude, your lungs fill up with air composed of numerous
gases and compounds. Most important among these are
oxygen molecules, which bind to the hemoglobin in your red
blood cells. Blood then circulates throughout your body,
bringing essential oxygen to all your cells. But as altitude
increases, the air starts to get thinner.
假设你是住在 海平⾯ 500 ⽶以内的 那 58 亿⼈中的⼀个。 在这个
海拔⾼度深吸⼀⼜⽓， 由多种⽓体和化合物组成的空⽓ 就会充满
你的肺， 其中最重要的就是氧分⼦， 氧分⼦与红细胞中的⾎红蛋
⽩结合， 这样⼀来，当⾎液在体内循环， ⾄关重要的氧⽓ 就会抵
达所有细胞。但当海拔升⾼， 空⽓也随之变得稀薄。

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The relative amounts of each compound remain the same well
into the upper atmosphere, but overall, there is less oxygen for
our bodies to absorb. And if you ascend to altitudes above
2,500 meters, the resulting oxygen deprivation can cause a form
of altitude sickness known as AMS, often causing headaches,
fatigue and nausea.
空⽓中每种化合物的相对含量 并不会随着海拔升⾼⽽改变。 但总的
来说， 供⾝体吸收的氧分⼦越来越少。当你爬升到 2500 ⽶以上的
海拔时， 随之⽽来的缺氧 会造成⼀种⾼海拔疾病， 即 “AMS” （急
性⾼⼭症）， 通常表现为头疼、疲乏、恶⼼。

Fortunately, AMS only happens when we ascend too fast,

because our bodies have numerous ways of adapting to high
altitudes. Within minutes or even seconds of reaching altitudes
of 1,500 meters, carotid chemoreceptors in your neck sense
your blood’s low oxygen pressure. This triggers a response that
increases the rate and depth of your breathing to counteract the
lack of oxygen. Your heart rate also increases and your heart
contracts more tightly to pump additional blood with each beat,
quickly moving oxygenated blood around your body.
幸运的是，急性⾼⼭症 只会在海拔上升过快时发⽣， 因为⼈体针对
⾼海拔 有⽆数的应对机制。 如果在⼏分钟甚⾄⼏秒钟内 到达 1500
⽶以上的海拔， 脖⼦⾥的颈动脉化学感受器 就会察觉到⾎液氧⽓压
⼒过低， 触发⽣理反应， 使呼吸更快更⽤⼒， 从⽽弥补氧⽓的缺
乏。 同时⼼率也会加快， ⼼脏会更加⽤⼒地收缩， 在每次跳动时
带动更多的⾎液， 让充了氧的⾎液 在⼈体⾥更快速地运转。

All these changes happen relatively fast, and if you were to

keep ascending, your heart rate and breathing would speed up
accordingly. But if you stayed at this altitude for several weeks,
you could reap the benefits of some longer-term adaptations.
这些变化的发⽣相对较快， ⽽且如果你还在继续爬升， 你的⼼跳和
呼吸都会相应地加快。 但如果你在这个海拔 停留上⼏个星期， 你
可能会因为长期适应 ⽽获得⼀些好处。

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Within the first few days above 1,500 meters, the volume of
plasma in your blood decreases, which increases the
concentration of hemoglobin. Over the next two weeks, your
hemoglobin levels will continue to rise, allowing your blood to
carry even more oxygen per milliliter. Paired with your high
heart rate, this new hemoglobin-rich blood efficiently
distributes oxygen throughout your body. So much so that the
volume of blood being pumped with each heartbeat can return
to normal levels. Over this same time, your breathing also
increases even further in a process called ventilatory
acclimatization.
在 1500 ⽶以上停留的最开始⼏天， ⼈体⾎液内⾎浆的含量会减
少， 引起⾎红蛋⽩浓度的增加。 接下来的两个星期⾥ ⾎红蛋⽩⽔
平会持续增长， 使得每毫升⾎液 能够运输更多的氧⽓， 再加上⾼
⼼率， 这种新的⾼⾎红蛋⽩⾎液 ⾼效地将氧⽓运送到⼈体各处，
从⽽使每次⼼跳带动的⾎液 回到正常⽔平。 同时，你的呼吸也会
继续加快， 这种过程被称为 “通⽓习服” 。

After this several weeks of extended acclimatization, your body

has made enough significant changes to climb even higher.
However, you’ll still have to spend additional time acclimating
along the way, often climbing back down to recover before
ascending even higher. Because the summit of Everest isn't just
high, it’s the highest place on Earth. And at altitudes above
3,500 meters, our bodies are under incredible stress. Arteries
and veins in the brain dilate to speed up blood flow, But our
smallest blood vessels, called capillaries, remain the same size.
This increased pressure can cause blood vessels to leak, and
fluid to build up in the brain.
这种适应过程持续⼏个星期之后， 你的⾝体就做好⾜够的准备 能
够继续向上爬了。 但是，你在攀爬的过程中 还需要花额外的时间
适应环境。 在继续向上爬之前 ⼈们常常暂时下⼭，进⾏恢复。 因
为珠穆朗玛峰不⽌是⼀座⾼⼭， 它还是世界上最⾼的⼭。 在 3500
⽶以上的海拔 你将承受巨⼤的压⼒， ⼤脑⾥的动脉和静脉都会膨
胀 以加快⾎液流速。 但我们最⼩的⾎管， 也就是⽑细⾎管， 仍然

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保持原状。 增加的压⼒会使这些⾎管破裂， 还会导致液体在⼤脑
内积聚。

A similar issue can occur in the lungs, where low oxygen

causes blood vessels to constrict, leading to more leaking
vessels and fluid buildup. These two conditions— known as
HACE and HAPE, respectively— are incredibly rare, but can
be life-threatening if not dealt with quickly. Some Tibetans and
South Americans with family histories of living at high altitude
have genetic advantages that can prevent minor altitude
sickness, but even they aren’t immune to these severe
conditions.
肺部也会受到类似的威胁， 肺部⾎管会在低氧环境下收缩 进⽽破
裂，使更多液体积聚。 这两种情况分别被称为 HACE 和 HAPE ，
它们⾮常罕见， 但如果不及时处理 可能会危及⽣命。 ⼀些中国西
藏和南美地区的⼈， 其祖先⽣活在⾼海拔地区， 所以本⾝就能抵
抗 ⼀些轻型的⾼海拔症状。 但即使是这些⼈， 也可能遭遇严重状
况。

Yet despite these risks, climbers over the last century have
proved people can go higher than scientists ever thought
possible. Pushing past their body’s limitations, these climbers
have redefined what humanity can adapt to.
虽然风险巨⼤， 但在过去的⼀个世纪⾥， 登⼭者们已经证明， ⼈
类能⽐科学家预测的爬得更⾼， 这些登⼭者不断挑战⾝体极限，
重新定义了⼈类对环境的适应能⼒。

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更年期如何影响⼤脑
How menopause affects the brain

Women are works of art. On the outside as on the inside. I am

a neuroscientist, and I focus on the inside, especially on
women's brains.
⼥性是艺术品。 外表上是，内⾥亦是。 我是⼀名神经科学家， 我
的研究领域是内在， 尤其是⼥性的⼤脑。

There are many theories on how women's brains differ from

men's brains, and I've been looking at brains for 20 years and
can guarantee that there is no such thing as a gendered brain.
Pink and blue, Barbie and Lego, those are all inventions that
have nothing to do with the way our brains are built.
有很多关于 男⼥⼤脑差异的学说， 我研究⼤脑有 20 年了， 我可
以向⼤家保证， ⼤脑根本不存在 性别之分。 粉⾊与蓝⾊，芭⽐娃
娃和乐⾼积⽊， 这些发明都与我们⼤脑的 ⼯作⽅式⽆关。

That said, women's brains differ from men's brains in some

respects. And I'm here to talk about these differences, because
they actually matter for our health. For example, women are
more likely than men to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder
or depression, not to mention headaches and migraines. But
also, at the core of my research, women are more likely than
men to have Alzheimer's disease.
但是，⼥性⼤脑 在某些⽅⾯与男性的⼤脑 的确存在差异。 在这⾥，
我会跟⼤家 聊⼀聊这些差异， 因为这些差异 对我们的健康⾄关重
要。 ⽐如， ⼥性⽐男性更易患上焦虑症 或者抑郁症， 除此之外，还
有头痛与偏头痛。 但同时，我在⼀些 主要的研究⼯作中也发现， ⼥
性⽐起男性更易患上 阿尔兹海默症。

Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia on

the planet, affecting close to six million people in the United
States alone. But almost two thirds of all those people are
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actually women. So for every man suffering from Alzheimer's
there are two women. So why is that overall? Is it age? Is it
lifespan? What else could it be?
阿尔兹海默症是世界上 造成痴呆症状的 最常见因素， 光是在美国
就有近六百万⼈ 受到该病症的困扰。 但是，接近三分之⼆的患者
都是⼥性。 也就是说，每⼀位 阿尔兹海默症男性患者， 都对应着
两位⼥性患者。 那么总的来说，为什么 会出现这种情况？ 是年龄
造成的吗？ 还是与寿命有关？ 还是其他的因素？

A few years ago, I launched the Women's Brain Initiative at

Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, exactly to answer
those questions. And tonight, I'm here with some answers.
⼏年前， 我在纽约市的威尔·康奈尔医学院 发起了“妇⼥⼤脑倡
议”， 旨在回答这些问题。 所以今晚，我为⼤家 带来了⼀些答案。

So it turns out our brains age differently, and menopause plays

a key role here for women. Now most people think of the brain
as a kind of black box, isolated from the rest of the body. But in
reality, our brains are in constant interaction with the rest of us.
And perhaps surprisingly, the interactions with the reproductive
system are crucial for brain aging in women. These interactions
are mediated by our hormones. And we know that hormones
differ between the genders.
研究表明，我们的⼤脑 衰⽼的⽅式不同， 对于⼥性⽽⾔，更年期
在其中 扮演了⼀个⾮常重要的⾓⾊。 很多⼈把⼤脑想象成⼀个⿊
匣⼦， 把它从⼈体分离出来。 但是事实上，我们的⼤脑 每时每刻
都在 与⾝体的其他部分互动。 也许你们会感到惊讶， 它与⽣殖系
统的互动 对于⼥性⼤脑的衰⽼ 也起着⾄关重要的作⽤。 这些互动
都是由我们的 激素来调节的。我们知道两性的激素⽔平是不同的。

Men have more testosterone, women have more estrogens. But

what really matters here is that these hormones differ in their
longevity. Men's testosterone doesn't run out until late in life,
which is a slow and pretty much symptom-free process, of
course.

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男性有更多的睾酮素， ⼥性有更多的雌激素。 但是重点在于， 这
些激素持续的时间不同。 男性的睾酮在晚年时期 才会逐渐消失，
当然，这整个过程 都⾮常缓慢且没有症状。

Women's estrogens, on the other hand, start fading in midlife,

during menopause, which is anything but symptom-free. We
associate menopause with the ovaries, but when women say
that they're having hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, memory
lapses, depression, anxiety, those symptoms don't start in the
ovaries. They start in the brain. Those are neurological
symptoms. We're just not used to thinking about them as such.
So why is that? Why are our brains impacted by menopause?
⽽另⼀⽅⾯，⼥性的雌激素 在中年时期，尤其是 更年期时就开始
衰减， 这个过程也伴随着明显的相关症状。 我们把卵巢与更年期
建⽴起了联系， 但是当⼥性说她们出现了潮热、 盗汗、失眠、 记
忆衰退、抑郁、焦虑， 其实这些症状并不是 由卵巢衰⽼引起的。
它们开始于⼤脑。 这些都是与神经相关的症状。 我们只是从来没
有 从这个⾓度考虑过这个问题。 那么为什么这么说呢？ 为什么我
们的⼤脑 会受到更年期的影响？

Well, first of all, our brains and ovaries are part of the
neuroendocrine system. As part of the system, the brain talks to
the ovaries and the ovaries talk back to the brain, every day of
our lives as women. So the health of the ovaries is linked to the
health of the brain. And the other way around.
⾸先， 我们的⼤脑和卵巢都属于 神经内分泌系统。 作为这个系统
的⼀部分， ⼤脑会与卵巢互动， 同时，卵巢也会把相关信息 反馈
回⼤脑， 这样的过程⼥性每天都会经历。 所以卵巢的健康 与⼤脑
的健康息息相关。 反之亦然。

At the same time, hormones like estrogen are not only involved
in reproduction, but also in brain function. And estrogen in
particular, or estradiol, is really key for energy production in
the brain.

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同时， 雌激素之类的激素并不仅仅 在⽣殖过程中发挥作⽤， 同时
也在⼤脑功能中发挥作⽤。 尤其是雌激素，或者说雌⼆醇， 在⼤
脑的产能过程中 发挥着⾮常重要的作⽤。

At the cellular level, estrogen literally pushes neurons to burn

glucose to make energy. If your estrogen is high, your brain
energy is high. When your estrogen declines though, your
neurons start slowing down and age faster. And studies have
shown that this process can even lead to the formation of
amyloid plaques, or Alzheimer's plaques, which are a hallmark
of Alzheimer's disease.
在细胞层⾯上， 雌激素确实能够让神经元 消耗葡萄糖以产⽣能
量。 如果你的雌激素⽔平很⾼， 那么你⼤脑的能量就很⾼。 ⽽当
你的雌激素⽔平降低时， 你的神经系统运转会变慢， 也会衰⽼得
更快。 相关研究表明，这个过程 甚⾄能够导致淀粉样斑块的形
成， 即阿尔兹海默斑块， 它是阿尔兹海默症的 标志性特征。

These effects are stronger in specific brain regions, starting

with the hypothalamus, which is in charge of regulating body
temperature. When estrogen doesn't activate the hypothalamus
correctly, the brain cannot regulate body temperature correctly.
So those hot flashes that women get, that's the hypothalamus.
这些作⽤在⼤脑中的 特定区域会更强， ⾸先是在下丘脑区， 这个
区域负责体温的调节。 当雌激素⽆法正常地 激活下丘脑区时， ⼤
脑就不能准确地调控体温。 所以这些⼥性所体会的潮热症状， 就
是下丘脑区失常造成的。
Then there's the brain stem, in charge of sleep and wake. When
estrogen doesn't activate the brain stem correctly, we have
trouble sleeping. Or it's the amygdala, the emotional center of
the brain, close to the hippocampus, the memory center of the
brain.
接着是脑⼲，这个区域 负责⼊眠与苏醒。 当雌激素不能正常地 在
脑⼲发挥作⽤时， 我们就会产⽣睡眠问题。 还有杏仁核， 它是⼤
脑中的情感中⼼， 挨着海马体， 海马体是⼤脑的记忆中⼼。

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When estrogen levels ebb in these regions, we start getting
mood swings perhaps and forget things. So this is the brain
anatomy of menopause, if you will.
当雌激素⽔平在这些区域衰退时， 我们很可能会开始出现情绪的
起伏， 记忆⼒降低。 所以你们可以把这当作 更年期阶段对⼤脑的
解析。

But let me show you what an actual woman's brain can look
like. So this is a kind of brain scan called positron emission
tomography or PET. It looks at brain energy levels. And this is
what you want your brain to look like when you're in your 40s.
Really nice and bright. Now this brain belongs to a woman
who was 43 years old when she was first scanned, before
menopause. And this is the same brain just eight years later,
after menopause. If we put them side by side, I think you can
easily see how the bright yellow turned orange, almost purple.
That's a 30 percent drop in brain energy levels.
下⾯我们来看看 ⼀个真正的⼥性⼤脑 是什么样⼦。 这是⼀种脑部
扫描技术， 叫做正电⼦发射断层成像， 简称 PET。 它能够显⽰⼤
脑能量⽔平。 这是你在四⼗岁时 希望⾃⼰的⼤脑所呈现的样⼦。
看上去⾮常好，⾊调很明亮。 这个⼤脑属于⼀位 43 岁的⼥性， 这
是她在更年期前做的 第⼀次脑部扫描。 这是⼋年后， 同⼀颗⼤脑
的样⼦， 这个时候她已经过了更年期了。 如果我们把它们并排放
在⼀起， 我觉得你可以很轻易地看到 这个明亮的黄⾊ 开始变成橘
⾊，越来越接近紫⾊。 这表⽰⼤脑的能量⽔平 下降了百分之三
⼗。

Now in general, this just doesn't seem to happen to a man of

the same age. In our studies with hundreds of people, we show
that middle-aged men usually have high brain energy levels.
For women, brain energy is usually fine before menopause, but
then it gradually declines during the transition. And this was
found independent of age. It didn't matter if the women were
40, 50 or 60. What mattered most was that they were in
menopause.

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⼀般来说， 这种改变似乎并不会发⽣在 同年龄的男性⾝上。 通过
对上百⼈的⼤脑进⾏研究， 我们发现中年男性的 ⼤脑能量值通常
很⾼。 ⽽对于⼥性，⼤脑的能量⽔平 在更年期前⼀般是正常的，
但是在更年期过程中， 其能量⽔平会逐渐降低。 这个过程跟年龄
⽆关。 ⽆论⼥性是在四⼗岁、五⼗岁 或者六⼗岁，这都不重要。
真正重要的是她们 是否处于更年期。

So of course we need more research to confirm this, but it

looks like women's brains in midlife are more sensitiver to
hormonal aging than just straight up chronological aging. And
this is important information to have, because so many women
can feel these changes. So many of our patients have said to
me that they feel like their minds are playing tricks on them, to
put it mildly. So I really want to validate this, because it's real.
And so just to clarify, if this is you, you are not crazy.
当然我们需要做更多的研究 来证明这⼀点， 但是看起来，相⽐单
纯的年龄衰⽼， 中年⼥性的⼤脑对随着年龄改变的 激素衰变会更
加敏感。 这⼀点⾮常重要， 因为很多⼥性可以 感受到这些变化。
很多患者都对我说， 她们觉得⼤脑在跟她们闹别扭， 这还是⼀种
美化了的说法。 所以我真的想要证实这⼀点， 因为这是真实发⽣
的。 所以在这⾥澄清⼀下， 如果你也是其中⼀员， 你并没有疯
掉。

It's important. So many women have worried that they might

be losing their minds. But the truth is that your brain might be
going through a transition, or is going through a transition and
needs time and support to adjust. Also, if anyone is concerned
that middle-aged women might be underperformers, I'll just
quickly add that we looked at cognitive performance, God
forbid, right?
这真的⾮常重要。 很多⼥性开始忧虑她们 是不是正在失去理智。
但真相是，你的⼤脑可能 正要经历⼀场转变， 或者说正在转变
中， 你的⼤脑需要时间和⽀持去适应。 另外，如果有的⼈忧虑 中
年⼥性也许会能⼒表现不佳， 我必须快速地补充⼀下，我们 也关
注了她们的认知表现， 但愿不会真的这样，是吧？

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Let's not do that. But we looked at cognitive performance, and
we found absolutely no differences between men and women
before and after menopause. And other studies confirm this.
So basically, we may be tired, but we are just as sharp.
我们还是不要这么做。 但是当我们聚焦到认知表现时， 我们没有
在男性和⼥性之中 发现明显的差异， ⽆论是更年期前还是更年期
后。 其他的研究也⽀持了这⼀点。 所以基本上来说，我们也许疲
倦了， 但是我们依旧很精明。

That all said, there is something else more serious that

deserves our attention. If you remember, I mentioned that
estrogen declines could potentially promote the formation of
amyloid plaques, or Alzheimer's plaques. But there's another
kind of brain scan that looks exactly at those plaques. And we
used it to show that middle-aged men hardly have any, which
is great. But for women, there's quite a bit of an increase
during the transition to menopause.
所以不必杞⼈忧天。我们的研究表明， 有⼀些更加严重的问题 值
得我们关注。 如果你们还记得， 我提到过雌激素的衰退 可能会
促进 淀粉样斑块的形成，或者说 阿尔兹海默斑块。 然⽽还有另
外⼀种脑部扫描， 是专门⽤来显⽰这些斑块的。 我们⽤它扫描了
中年男性的⼤脑， 基本上没有发现斑块， 这是⼀件好事。 但是
在⼥性的⼤脑⾥， 我们发现在进⼊更年期时， 斑块出现了明显的
增加。

And I want to be really, really clear here that not all women
develop the plaques, and not all women with the plaques
develop dementia. Having the plaques is a risk factor, it is not
in any way a diagnosis, especially at this stage.
我要明确的⼀点是， 并不是所有的⼥性都会产⽣这些斑块， 并不
是所有有了这些斑块的⼥性 都会得痴呆。 只能说这些斑块是⼀个
危险因素， ⽆论如何它都不能作为⼀种诊断， 尤其是在这个阶
段。

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But still, it's quite an insight to associate Alzheimer's with
menopause. We think of menopause as belonging to middle
age and Alzheimer's as belonging to old age. But in reality,
many studies, including my own work, had shown that
Alzheimer's disease starts with negative changes in the brain
years, if not decades, prior to clinical symptoms. So for
women, it looks like this process starts in midlife, during
menopause. Which is important information to have, because
it gives us a time line to start looking for those changes.
但是，这是把阿尔兹海默症 与更年期联系起来的 ⼀个很好的切⼊
点。 我们把更年期归为中年时期的疾病， ⽽将阿尔兹海默归为⽼
年病。 但是事实上， 很多研究，包括我⾃⼰的研究， 都表明阿尔
兹海默症初始于 临床症状出现的⼏年前，甚⾄⼏⼗年前 ⼤脑中就
已经出现的那些负⾯改变。 所以对于⼥性⽽⾔， 这⼀过程似乎在
中年时期， 在更年期阶段就开始了， 这是⾮常重要的信息， 因为
它向我们提供了⼀条 寻找这些改变的时间线。

So in terms of a time line, most women go through menopause

in their early 50s. But it can be earlier, often because of
medical interventions. And the common example is a
hysterectomy and/or an oophorectomy, which is the surgical
removal of the uterus and/or the ovaries.
说到时间线， 绝⼤多数⼥性在她们 50 多岁 初期开始经历更年期。
但更年期可以提前， 这常常是因为医疗的⼲预。 ⽐较常见的就是
⼦宫切除术患者 和/或卵巢切除术患者， 也就是⼿术切除了⼦宫
和/或卵巢。

And unfortunately, there is evidence that having the uterus

and, more so, the ovaries removed prior to menopause
correlates with the higher risk of dementia in women. And I
know that this is upsetting news, and it's definitely depressing
news, but we need to talk about it because most women are not
aware of this correlation, and it seems very important
information to have.

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不幸的是，有证据表明 在更年期以前， ⼦宫，尤其是卵巢就被摘
除 和⼥性患痴呆的风险增加存在相关性。 我知道这是⼀个坏消
息， 令⼈⽆法接受， 但我们需要直⾯这⼀发现， 因为⼤多数⼥性
并没有意识到 这其中的关联， ⽽这又是不容忽视的重要信息。

Also, no one is suggesting that women decline these

procedures if they need them. The point here is that we really
need to better understand what happens to our brains as we go
through menopause, natural or medical, and how to protect our
brains in the process.
⽽且，如果⼥性需要做这些⼿术， 没⼈建议她们拒绝。 重点就在
于，我们真的 需要更好地理解 当我们处于更年期时， ⼤脑发⽣了
什么， 不管是⾃然的 还是医疗⼲预造成的， 以及在这个过程中 我
们如何保护⾃⼰的⼤脑。

So how do we do that? How do we protect our brains? Should

we take hormones? That's a fair question, it's a good question.
And the shortest possible answer right now is that hormonal
therapy can be helpful to alleviate a number of symptoms, like
hot flashes, but it's not currently recommended for dementia
prevention. And many of us are working on testing different
formulations and different dosages and different time lines, and
hopefully, all this work will lead to a change in
recommendations in the future.
那么我们应该怎么做呢？ 我们怎样来保护⾃⼰的⼤脑？ 我们应该
补充激素吗？ 这是⼀个很好的问题。 ⽬前最简洁的答案是， 激素
治疗可以有助于 缓解如潮热等⼀系列症状， 但是现在并不推荐 ⽤
这⼀疗法预防痴呆。 我们的研究团队中有很多⼈ 致⼒于测试不同
的配⽅， 不同的剂量和不同的时间线， 我们期望所有的努⼒在未
来能引导 ⼀系列建议上的改变。

Meanwhile, there are other things that we can do today to

support our hormones and their effects on the brain that do not
require medications but do require taking a good look at our
lifestyle. That's because the foods we eat, how much exercise

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we get, how much sleep we get or don't get, how much stress
we have in our lives, those are all things that can actually
impact our hormones -- for better and for worse.
同时，我们⽬前也可以 采取其他的⾏动 来⽀持我们的激素 以及它
们对⼤脑的作⽤， 不需要治疗， 但是确实需要我们好好 审视⾃⼰
的⽣活⽅式。 这是因为我们所吃的⾷物， 我们的锻炼量， 我们的
睡眠时长， 我们⽣活中的压⼒， 这些都能够影响 我们的激素⽔平
—— 正⾯和负⾯都有。

Food, for example. There are many diets out there, but studies
have shown that the Mediterranean diet in particular is
supportive of women's health. Women on this diet have a much
lower risk of cognitive decline, of depression, of heart disease,
of stroke and of cancer, and they also have fewer hot flashes.
What's interesting about this diet is that it's quite rich in foods
that contain estrogens in the form of phytoestrogens or
estrogens from plants that act like mild estrogens in our bodies.
Some phytoestrogens have been linked to a possible risk of
cancer, but not the ones in this diet, which are safe. Especially
from flax seeds, sesame seeds, dried apricots, legumes and a
number of fruits. And for some good news, dark chocolate
contains phytoestrogens, too.
⽐如，⾷物。 世⾯上有多种⾷物， 研究表明，地中海饮⾷尤其能
够 对⼥性的健康起到积极的作⽤。 处于这种饮⾷下的⼥性更不容
易 出现认知降低，抑郁， ⼼脏疾病，中风和癌症， 并且她们出现
潮热症状的频率更低。 ⽽且这种饮⾷有趣的地⽅在于， 这些⾷物
富含 来源于植物的雌激素， 就像我们体内温和的 雌激素⼀样产⽣
作⽤。 ⼀些植物雌激素被认为 有致癌风险， 但这类饮⾷中的 植物
雌激素则相对安全， 尤其是来源于亚⿇籽、 芝⿇、杏⼲、 ⾖类以
及⼀些⽔果中的雌激素。 还有更好的消息， ⿊巧克⼒也含有植物
雌激素。

So diet is one way to gain estrogens, but it's just as important to

avoid things that suppress our estrogens instead, especially
stress. Stress can literally steal your estrogens, and that's
because cortisol, which is the main stress hormone, works in
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balance with our estrogens. So if cortisol goes up, your
estrogens go down. If cortisol goes down, your estrogens go
back up. So reducing stress is really important. It doesn't just
help your day, it also helps your brain.
所以饮⾷是⼀种获取雌激素的途径， 但是避开那些会压抑 雌激素
⽔平的东西也同样重要， 特别是压⼒。 压⼒真的能“偷⾛”我们的
雌激素， 这是因为⽪质醇， ⼀种主要的压⼒激素， 与我们的雌激
素相平衡。 所以，如果⽪质醇⽔平上升， 雌激素⽔平就会下降。
如果⽪质醇⽔平降低， 雌激素⽔平就会恢复。 所以减少压⼒⾮常
重要。 它并不仅会让你的⽣活变得更好， 还有助于保持⼤脑健
康。

So these are just a few things that we can do to support our

brains and there are more. But the important thing here is that
changing the way we understand the female brain really
changes the way that we care for it, and the way that we frame
women's health. And the more women demand this
information, the sooner we'll be able to break the taboos
around menopause, and also come up with solutions that
actually work, not just for Alzheimer's disease, but for
women's brain health as a whole. Brain health is women's
health.
我提到的只是少数⼏种 可以⽤来⽀持我们⼤脑的⽅法， 还有很多
其他⽅法值得尝试。 但是重点在于， 转变我们对于⼥性⼤脑的认
识 真的会改变我们保养⼤脑的⽅式， 以及转变我们表述⼥性 健康
的⽅式。 ⼥性对这种信息的需求越多， 我们就能越早打破关于 更
年期的禁忌， 并且找出真正有效的应对⽅法， 不仅是针对阿尔兹
海默症， ⽽是为了⼥性⼤脑的整体健康。 ⼤脑的健康就意味着⼥
性的健康。

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关于⽣活、⼯作和平衡的4个教训
4 lessons the pandemic taught us about
work, life and balance
I've spent the last couple of years traveling around the world
giving talks to big corporations and little bitty start-ups and lots
of leadership teams and women's groups, and what I've been
talking to people about, I've been trying really hard to convince
people that we can change the way we work.
过去⼏年我⼀直环游世界 为⼤公司、⼩初创公司、 很多领导团队
和⼥性团体提供演讲， 我⼀直在和⼈们谈的是， 我⾮常努⼒的说
服⼈们 我们可以改变我们⼯作的⽅式。

But every time I do a talk, somebody comes backstage or

follows me offstage and says, "You know, I'm so inspired by
what you say. It's so great, it makes so much sense. But we
can't." "We can't because we're regulated." "We can't because
our CFO says we can't do it." "We can't because we're in
Europe." “We can’t because we’re a service industry.” "We
can't because we're a nonprofit." And then last year came the
pandemic. And the pandemic changed everything all over the
world.
但是每次我谈论时， 总有⼈来到台下或跟我到后台 并且说，“你知
道， 你的话让我很受启发。 这太好了，太有道理了。 但是我们不
能这么做。” “我们不能因为我们受到监管。” “我们不能因为我们的
⾸席财务官 说我们不能这么做。” “我们不能因为我们在欧洲。” “我
们不能因为我们是服务业。” “我们不能 因为我们是⾮营利组织。”
然后去年疫情来了。 ⽽且疫情改变了世界上所有的事情。

Service people started realizing that they had to suit up and

wear masks and take temperatures and wash their hands. We
had to start standing six feet apart in lines.

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服务⼈员开始意识到 他们必须穿好⾐服并戴上⼜罩、 量体温、洗
⼿。 我们不得不保持六英尺距离排队。

We started working from home. We started working virtually.

And we started learning all kinds of things because we had to.
All that muscle around innovation and flexibility and creativity
that we didn't think we had, we had all along. And we now
have realized that we can.
我们开始在家⼯作。 我们开始虚拟⼯作。 我们开始学习所有事
情， 因为我们不得不这么做。 围绕创新、灵活性 和创造性的所有
⼒量， 那些我们没想到我们已经拥有的， 我们⼀直都有。 ⽽且我
们现在意识到了我们可以。

So what have we learned? I mean, what did we learn right

away? First of all, we learned we're not family. The family is
the toddler walking around behind you in the Zoom call with
the pet. The family is somebody needing their diaper changed.
The family is making sure you're taking care of your mom.
That's your family. This is your team. And we've also learned
that that separation between family and work has become this
balancing act. And that when we used to say, "Well, this is my
work home and this is my family home, and those are two
completely different things," for many of us, it's exactly the
same thing. You're no longer at home and at work. For many of
us, work is at home and the home is -- and it's confusing, and
it's creating a whole different level of complexity and
coordination so that we understand that it's easier actually to
work when we can separate the work that we do as a team from
the work that we do in our family.
所以我们学到了什么呢？ 我的意思是，我们⽴即学到了什么？ ⾸
先，我们发现我们不是⼀家⼈。 家⼈是在Zoom 视频通话中和宠物
⼀起 在你⾝后⾛来⾛去的⼩孩。 家⼈是需要你换尿布的⼈。 家⼈
是你在照顾你的妈妈。 那才是你的家⼈。 这是你的团队。 ⽽且我
们还发现 分开家庭和⼯作 是个平衡的挑战。 我们过去说， “好吧，
这是我的⼯作之家， ⽽这是我的家庭之家， 这是两个完全不同的

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东西，” 现在对于我们很多⼈来说， 这完全是⼀回事。 你不再是
在家和在⼯作。 对于我们很多⼈， 在家⼯作，⽽且家是—— 这很
令⼈迷惑， 这创造了⼀个完全 不同⽔平的复杂和协调， 以⾄于我
们理解了⼯作其实更简单， 如果我们能分清楚 我们和团队⼀起做
的⼯作 和我们在家⾥做的⼯作。

Furthermore, in order to be able to do all that, we have to

recognize that we're all adults. And here's the deal about
adults. Adults have responsibilities, adults have obligations.
Adults have things that they have to commit to. And do you
know that every single person that works for you, from the
shop floor to the executive suite, is a grown-up? But we have
been operating as if they aren't. We operate as if only the smart
adults are the people who are at the C Suite.
更进⼀步说，为了能做成这⼀切， 我们必须意识到我们都是成年
⼈。 以下成年⼈的共识。 成年⼈有责任，成年⼈有义务。 成年⼈
有他们要投⼊去做的事情。 你知道每⼀个为你⼯作的⼈， 从车间
到⾏政套房， 都是成年⼈吗？ 但是我们⼀直就当他们 不是成年⼈
那样在运⾏。 我们只把⾼管当成聪明的成年⼈。

And as we move through the organization, everybody sort of

gets a little dumbed down and the rules get a lot stricter and
we have to have more control. And the truth is, everybody's a
grown-up, we can see it now. Everybody has all of these
things to figure out and coordinate. And so now we're
expecting from people adult behavior. We're now focusing on
the results that matter, not the work. And the way we track it
now is we don't walk by and see who's working. We pay
attention to what people are doing. And I think that that's
always been the best metric.
当我们往下看组织， 每个⼈的⼯作都变得更简单⼀点， 规则变得
更加严格 我们不得不有更多控制。 ⽽真相是，每个⼈都是成年
⼈， 我们现在可以看明⽩了。 每个⼈都要解决和协调这些事情。
所以我们现在期待 ⼈们有成年⼈的表现。 我们现在在关注那些 重
要的结果，⽽不是⼯作。 我们现在持续关注的⽅式 不再是⾛过去

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看看谁在⼯作。 我们把注意⼒放在⼈们正在做什么。 ⽽我认为这
⼀直是最好的衡量标准。

And you know what? For the first time in my life, the concept
of best practices is out the window. And you know what? We
don't care what Google's doing because we're not Google.
你知道吗？ 这是我⼈⽣中第⼀次， 最佳实践的概念已经过时了。
你知道吗？ 我们不在乎⾕歌在做什么， 因为我们不是⾕歌。

We don't care what some other company is doing. Nobody's

doing it best. We're all figuring it out as we go along and we're
figuring it out for our organizations in our teams at this time.
So in order for people to deliver the right results, in order for
people's hard work to matter, it has to be in the context of what
success looks like for your organization.
我们不在乎其他公司在做什么。没有⼈做得最好。 我们⼀直在边
⾛边想办法， 我们⼀直在团队中 为组织想办法。 所以为了让⼈们
交付正确的结果， 为了让⼈们的努⼒⼯作有意义， 必须要向⼤家
展⽰你的组织 “达到成功”是什么定义。

So if we start to think about context, it's really important that

we think about how we teach that. If we can teach everybody
in the company how to read a profit and loss statement, if we
can teach them what the different teams do, and what they're
setting out to accomplish, then people within their own small
teams, and within themselves, can figure out what excellence
looks like for them. And so then we can start operating
relatively independently as a whole organization because we're
all moving in the same direction, trying to do the same thing.
所以如果我们要定义这样的⽬标， 就⾮常需要考虑传达的⽅式。
如果我们能教公司⾥的每⼀个⼈ 如何读损益表， 如果能教他们 不
同的团队是做什么的， 他们要着⼿完成的是什么， 那么⼈们在他
们⾃⼰的⼩团队⾥， 在他们中间， 就可以搞清楚“成功”是什么样
的。 这样我们就可以开始在整个组织中 相对独⽴地开始运作了，
因为我们都正在向同⼀个⽅向⾏进， 试着做同样的事情。

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And there's a really critically important part of making that
work, and that's communication. And everything about
communication has changed. We tend to think that
communication is this waterfall from the top to the bottom.
要让这运作起来， 有⼀个必须的点， 那就是沟通。 关于沟通的⼀
切都变了。 我们倾向于认为 沟通是⾃上⽽下的瀑布。

The executives would tell somebody and the next level would
tell somebody and we'd go all the way down to the shop floor
and everybody would understand what's going on. Well, it may
not have worked that well then, but it certainly doesn't work
that well now. So now we have to recognize it's a different
heartbeat. What has it been before and what should it be now?
How do we make sure that the messages are clear and
consistent? Because that's how people operate. That's how
those adults who get the freedom and the responsibility to
produce great results operate best is when they understand
what they need to know in order to make the best decisions. So
that communication, that skill around being a great
communicator is something that each of us needs to get better
at.
⾼管会告诉⼀些⼈， 然后下⼀级会告诉⼀些⼈， 我们就这样传达
⾄车间， 每个⼈都会明⽩正在做什么。 那时候可能效果不佳， 但
是这在现在绝对更⾏不通了。 所以现在我们必须认识到 现在需要
⼀种不同的⽅式。 之前是什么样的？ 现在应该是什么样的？ 我们
如何确保信息保持清晰⼀致？ 因为这就是⼈们运作的⽅式。 那些
获得⾃由和承担责任的成年⼈ 产出巨⼤成果的最佳运作⽅式 就是
他们可以理解 为了做出最佳决定需要知道的事情。 所以沟通， 成
为优秀沟通者的技能 是我们每个⼈都 需要做得更好的事情。

One of the things we have to do is think about what the right

discipline is for that. If you used to communicate to your team
by walking by and asking how they're doing or if they had
heard something, you're going to have to schedule that now, it's
going to have to have discipline. We've got to check in with the
people on the shop floor to make sure they're hearing what they
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need to hear because it's not going to automatically happen.
我们必须做的⼀件事 是思考什么是正确的规范。 如果你之前会和
你的团队随意搭话， 询问他们过得如何， 或者他们有没有听说过
什么， 你现在必须去把它安排上⽇程， 它必须要有规范。 我们得
和车间⾥的⼈ 确认他们听到了必须听到的内容， 因为这是不会⾃
动发⽣的。

One of the ideas I have is just jot down at the end of every day
a sentence of what worked and what didn't work. And you
don't have to look at it for a month. But when you look back,
over a month, you want to look for, "Wow, that was surprising.
I didn’t really think that would be as effective as it is.” Or
maybe it would be, like, "We keep trying to have this in-person
meeting in Zoom, and it turns out that there's 14 people on the
call and only two of them are talking. Maybe it's an email." So
we have to rethink all of the ways, not just the work we're
doing, but the ways we're doing it.
我有⼀个主意， 只需在每天结束时记下 ⼀句话说明什么有效，什
么⽆效。 你这⼀个⽉都不需要去看它。 但是当你超过⼀个⽉之后
去回顾时，你期待着 “哇，真惊喜。 我真没想到会这么有效。” 或
者它可能像， “我们⼀直尝试进⾏ 这种⾯对⾯的Zoom视频会议，
结果 会议中有 14 个⼈， 却只有 2 个⼈在说话。 或许还是电⼦邮件
好⼀点。” 所以我们必须重新思考所有的⽅法， 不只是我们正在做
的⼯作， 还有我们做事的⽅法。

So now I'm starting to hear a lot of nostalgia around the way it

used to be. There are things we aren't doing now that don't
matter. Maybe we don't need to go back for five levels of
approval. Maybe we don't need to go back and do that annual
performance review. Maybe we don't need to do a whole bunch
of things that were part of the way we do business that just
aren't making a difference. You know what? The way we used
to do it not only is not the way of the future, but we're
discovering so many wonderful things right now. Let's not lose
it. We want to create a new organization, new workforce, that's
excited about taking all of the things that we've learned using
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that muscle, going forward.
现在我开始听到很多 关于过去的怀旧情绪。 有些我们现在没有做
的 事情并不重要。 或许我们不需要 回到过去进⾏五级审批。 或许
我们不需要回到过去 做那种年度绩效考核。 或许我们不需要做 那
些没什么⽤，但又是 ⼯作中的⼀部分的事情。 你知道吗？ 我们过
去做事的⽅法 不仅不会是未来的⽅法， ⽽且我们还正在探索 这么
多丰富多彩的事情。 让我们不要失去它。 我们想要创造新组织、
新劳动⼒， 对我们学到的所有东西感到兴奋， 使⽤这股⼒量前
⾏。

One of the most important things that we can do is realize the

things that we aren't doing now. The stuff that we've stopped
doing and not go back and do it again. What if we don't go
back? What if we go forward and rethink the way we work?
我们能做的最重要的⼀件事是 意识到我们现在没有做的事情。 我
们已经停⽌做的事情， 不要回去再做。 如果我们不再回到过去
呢？ 如果我们向前⾛， 并重新思考我们⼯作的⽅式呢？

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花30天尝试件新鲜事
Try something new for 30 days
A few years ago, I felt like I was stuck in a rut, so I decided to
follow in the footsteps of the great American philosopher,
Morgan Spurlock, and try something new for 30 days. The idea
is actually pretty simple. Think about something you've always
wanted to add to your life and try it for the next 30 days. It turns
out 30 days is just about the right amount of time to add a new
habit or subtract a habit -- like watching the news -- from your
life.
⼏年前， 我感觉对⽼⼀套感到枯燥乏味， 所以我决定追随 伟⼤的
美国哲学家摩根·斯普尔洛克的脚步， 尝试做新事情30天。 这个想
法的确是⾮常简单。 考虑下，你常想在你⽣命中做的⼀些事情 接下
来30天尝试做这些。 这就是， 30天刚好是这么⼀段合适的时间 去养
成⼀个新的习惯或者改掉⼀个习惯-- 例如看新闻 -- 在你⽣活中。

There's a few things I learned while doing these 30-day

challenges. The first was, instead of the months flying by,
forgotten, the time was much more memorable. This was part of
a challenge I did to take a picture every day for a month. And I
remember exactly where I was and what I was doing that day. I
also noticed that as I started to do more and harder 30-day
challenges, my self-confidence grew. I went from desk-dwelling
computer nerd to the kind of guy who bikes to work. For fun!
当我在30天做这些挑战性事情时，我学到以下⼀些事。 第⼀件事
是， 取代了飞逝⽽过易被遗忘的岁⽉的是 这段时间⾮常的更加令⼈
难忘。 挑战的⼀部分是要⼀个⽉内每天我要去拍摄⼀张照⽚。 我清
楚地记得那⼀天我所处的位置 我都在⼲什么。 我也注意到 随着我
开始做更多的，更难的30天⾥具有挑战性的事时， 我⾃信⼼也增强
了。 我从⼀个台式计算机宅男极客 变成了⼀个爱骑⾃⾏车去⼯作的
⼈-- 为了玩乐。

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Even last year, I ended up hiking up Mt. Kilimanjaro, the
highest mountain in Africa. I would never have been that
adventurous before I started my 30-day challenges.
甚⾄去年，我完成了在⾮洲最⾼⼭峰 乞⼒马扎罗⼭的远⾜。 在我开
始这30天做挑战性的事之前 我从来没有这样爱冒险过。

I also figured out that if you really want something badly

enough, you can do anything for 30 days. Have you ever
wanted to write a novel? Every November, tens of thousands of
people try to write their own 50,000-word novel, from scratch,
in 30 days. It turns out, all you have to do is write 1,667 words
a day for a month. So I did. By the way, the secret is not to go
to sleep until you've written your words for the day. You might
be sleep-deprived, but you'll finish your novel. Now is my book
the next great American novel? No. I wrote it in a month. It's
awful.
我也认识到 如果你真想⼀些槽糕透顶的事， 你可以在30天⾥做这些
事。 你曾想写⼩说吗？ 每年11⽉， 数以万计的⼈们 在30天⾥，从
零起点 尝试写他们⾃⼰的5万字⼩说。 这结果就是，你所要去做的
事 就是每天写1667个字 要写⼀个⽉。 所以我做到了。 顺便说⼀
下，秘密是除⾮在⼀天⾥你已经写完了1667个字， 要不你就甭想睡
觉。 你可能被剥夺睡眠， 但你将会完成你的⼩说。 那么我写的书
会是下⼀部伟⼤的美国⼩说吗？ 不是的。我在⼀个⽉内写完它。 它
看上去太可怕了。

But for the rest of my life, if I meet John Hodgman at a TED

party, I don't have to say, "I'm a computer scientist." No, no, if I
want to, I can say, "I'm a novelist."
但在我的余⽣， 如果我在⼀个TED聚会上遇见约翰·霍奇曼， 我不
必开⼜说， “我是⼀个电脑科学家。” 不，不会的，如果我想我可以
说，“我是⼀个⼩说家。”

So here's one last thing I'd like to mention. I learned that when I
made small, sustainable changes, things I could keep doing,
they were more likely to stick. There's nothing wrong with big,
crazy challenges. In fact, they're a ton of fun. But they're less
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likely to stick. When I gave up sugar for 30 days, day 31
looked like this.
我这⼉想提的最后⼀件事。 当我做些⼩的，持续性的变化， 我可
以不断尝试做的事时， 我学到我可以把它们更容易地坚持做下
来。 这和又⼤又疯狂的具有挑战性的事情⽆关。 事实上，它们的
乐趣⽆穷。 但是，它们就不太可能坚持做下来。 当我在30天⾥拒
绝吃糖果， 31天后看上去就像这样。

So here's my question to you: What are you waiting for? I

guarantee you the next 30 days are going to pass whether you
like it or not, so why not think about something you have
always wanted to try and give it a shot! For the next 30 days.
所以我给⼤家提的问题是： ⼤家还在等什么呀？ 我保准⼤家在未
来的30天 会去经历 你喜欢或者不喜欢的事， 那么为什么不考虑⼀
些 你常想去尝试 并在未来30天⾥试试 给⾃⼰⼀个机会。

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肌⾁增⻓的奥秘
What make muscles grow
Muscles. We have over 600 of them. They make up between
1/3 and 1/2 of our body weight, and along with connective
tissue, they bind us together, hold us up, and help us move.
And whether or not body building is your hobby, muscles need
your constant attention because the way you treat them on a
daily basis determines whether they will wither or grow.
肌⾁，我们有超过600块，⼤约占了⾝体重量的三分之⼀到⼆分之
⼀ 。它们和结缔组织⼀起 组成我们的⾝体，使我们能够站⽴和移
动，不管健⾝是不是你的兴趣爱好，肌⾁需要你持续关注。因为你
每天的锻炼情况会决定肌⾁是萎缩还是增长。

Say you're standing in front of a door, ready to pull it

open.Your brain and muscles are perfectly poised to help you
achieve this goal. First, your brain sends a signal to motor
neurons inside your arm. When they receive this message, they
fire, causing muscles to contract and relax, which pull on the
bones in your arm and generate the needed movement. The
bigger the challenge becomes, the bigger the brain's signal
grows, and the more motor units it rallies to help you achieve
your task.
假想你正站在⼀扇门前，准备拉门你的⼤脑和肌⾁会达成完美的平
衡以帮助你达成⽬标。⾸先，你的⼤脑给遥控你⼿臂的神经发射信
号，神经接受信号之后，开始⾏动引起肌⾁收缩与放松牵引⼿臂的
⾻骼运动，从⽽做出相应的动作动作难度越⼤，⼤脑发出的信号越
强，协助完成动作所调动的遥控神经单位越多。

But what if the door is made of solid iron? At this point, your
arm muscles alone won't be able to generate enough tension to
pull it open, so your brain appeals to other muscles for help.
You plant your feet, tighten your belly, and tense your back,
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generating enough force to yank it open. Your nervous system
has just leveraged the resources you already have, other
muscles, to meet the demand.
但是如果门是铁制的呢？ 现在，光靠你⼿臂的肌⾁是不能产⽣⾜够
的拉⼒来开门的，所以你的⼤脑会让其他肌⾁来帮忙。你扎好马
步，收紧⼩腹，拉紧脊背， 产⽣⾜够的⼒把门扯开，你的神经系统
刚刚借⽤了你所有的已有资源： 别的肌⾁，来完成你的⽬标。

While all this is happening, your muscle fibers undergo another

kind of cellular change. As you expose them to stress, they
experience microscopic damage, which, in this context, is a
good thing. In response, the injured cells release inflammatory
molecules called cytokines that activate the immune system to
repair the injury. This is when the muscle-building magic
happens. The greater the damage to the muscle tissue, the more
your body will need to repair itself. The resulting cycle of
damage and repair eventually makes muscles bigger and
stronger as they adapt to progressively greater demands.
当这⼀切发⽣时，你的肌⾁纤维经历了细胞层⾯的变化。你拉伸细
胞时，细胞经历了细微的损伤，在这⾥，是⼀件好事。作为回应，
受损的细胞会释放出被称作细胞因⼦的炎性分⼦，激活了免疫系统
以修复损伤 这就是肌⾁变⼤的魔法。对肌⾁组织造成的损伤越⼤，
你⾝体的⾃我修复就会越多，损伤和修复的循环，最终使肌⾁变⼤
变结实，逐渐适应更⼤的需求。

Since our bodies have already adapted to most everyday

activities, those generally don't produce enough stress to
stimulate new muscle growth. So, to build new muscle, a
process called hypertrophy, our cells need to be exposed to
higher workloads than they are used to. In fact, if you don't
continuously expose your muscles to some resistance, they will
shrink, a process known as muscular atrophy. In contrast,
exposing the muscle to a high-degree of tension, especially
while the muscle is lengthening, also called an eccentric
contraction, generates effective conditions for new growth.

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因为我们的⾝体已经适应了⽇常的活动， 这些就不能产⽣⾜够的压
⼒，来促进新的肌⾁⽣长了。所以，要长肌⾁，要经过⼀个叫过度
增长的过程，我们的细胞需要⽐它已经适应的更⼤的⼯作强度。
事实上，如果你不持续的让肌⾁锻炼起来， 它们会变⼩，这被称为
肌⾁萎缩。相反的，让肌⾁承受更⾼的拉⼒， 特别是肌⾁在伸展
时， 又被称作离⼼收缩， 为肌⾁提供有效的⽣长条件。

However, muscles rely on more than just activity to grow.

Without proper nutrition, hormones, and rest, your body would
never be able to repair damaged muscle fibers. Protein in our
diet preserves muscle mass by providing the building blocks
for new tissue in the form of amino acids. Adequate protein
intake, along with naturally occurring hormones, like insulin-
like growth factor and testosterone, help shift the body into a
state where tissue is repaired and grown.
然⽽，肌⾁⽣长还要更多条件，没有所需的营养，激素，和休息，
你的⾝體永远不能修复受损的肌⾁组织。我们饮⾷中的蛋⽩质通过
以氨基酸的形式，提供新组织的基础 来维持细胞的质量，⾜量的蛋
⽩质摄⼊，与⾃然产⽣的荷尔蒙⼀起， ⽐如胰岛素，⽐如⽣长因⼦
和睾酮， 协助组织的修复和⽣长。

This vital repair process mainly occurs when we're resting,

especially at night while sleeping. Gender and age affect this
repair mechanism, which is why young men with more
testosterone have a leg up in the muscle building game.
Genetic factors also play a role in one's ability to grow muscle.
Some people have more robust immune reactions to muscle
damage, and are better able to repair and replace damaged
muscle fibers, increasing their muscle-building potential.
这个⾄关重要的修复过程主要发⽣在我们休息时， 尤其是晚上睡觉
的时候。性别和年龄也会影响修复机制， 这就是为什么有更多睾酮
的青壮年， 在肌⾁增长上更有优势。基因因素也会影响肌⾁增长，
有些⼈对肌⾁损伤有更强⼤的免疫反应， 更容易修复和替换受损肌
⾁纤维， 这都加⼤了肌⾁增长的潜⼒。

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The body responds to the demands you place on it. If you tear
your muscles up, eat right, rest and repeat, you'll create the
conditions to make your muscles as big and strong as
possible. It is with muscles as it is with life: Meaningful
growth requires challenge and stress.
⾝体会对你的需求做出回应，如果你撕裂肌⾁，补充营养，休息
然后重复，你就为肌⾁变⼤变强壮创造了条件。肌⾁增长和⽣活
⼀个道理： 有效的成长需要挑战和压⼒。

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激发学习的三个⽅法
3 rules to sparking learning
I teach chemistry.
我是⼀名化学⽼师。

All right, all right. So more than just explosions, chemistry is

everywhere. Have you ever found yourself at a restaurant
spacing out just doing this over and over? Some people
nodding yes. Recently, I showed this to my students, and I just
asked them to try and explain why it happened. The questions
and conversations that followed were fascinating. Check out
this video that Maddie from my period three class sent me that
evening.
⼤家没吓着吧！ 除了爆炸， 化学在我们⽣活中随处可见。 你有没
有试过在餐厅⾥空闲⽆聊时 ⼀遍又⼀遍的玩这个东西呢？ 我看到
有⼈点头了。 最近，我给我的学⽣们做了上⾯那个实验， 并要求
学⽣们⾃⼰动⼿去体验并解析这⼀现象为何发⽣。 在实验中，学
⽣们提出的问题和进⾏的对话 很有意思。 请看⼀下这个视频， 这
是我第三节课上的学⽣Maddie，在当天晚上发给我的。

Now obviously, as Maddie's chemistry teacher, I love that she

went home and continued to geek out about this kind of
ridiculous demonstration that we did in class. But what
fascinated me more is that Maddie's curiosity took her to a new
level. If you look inside that beaker, you might see a candle.
Maddie's using temperature to extend this phenomenon to a
new scenario.
当然了，作为Maddie的化学⽼师， 我⾮常欣慰她放学回家后还继
续研究， 并演⽰了⼀个这么好玩的实验。 这个实验跟我们在课堂
上做的差不多。 但最吸引我的是， Maddie的好奇⼼将她的化学学
习提升到了⼀个新的⾼度。 如果你认真看⼀下那个烧杯， 你会看
到⼀根蜡烛。 Maddie在实验中使⽤了温度， 对课堂上学到的实验
赋予了新意。
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You know, questions and curiosity like Maddie's are magnets
that draw us towards our teachers, and they transcend all
technology or buzzwords in education. But if we place these
technologies before student inquiry, we can be robbing
ourselves of our greatest tool as teachers: our students'
questions. For example, flipping a boring lecture from the
classroom to the screen of a mobile device might save
instructional time, but if it is the focus of our students'
experience, it's the same dehumanizing chatter just wrapped up
in fancy clothing. But if instead we have the guts to confuse
our students, perplex them, and evoke real questions, through
those questions, we as teachers have information that we can
use to tailor robust and informed methods of blended
instruction.
要知道，像Maddie这样带着疑问并怀有⼀颗好奇⼼， 是让学⽣更亲
近⽼师的⼀种魔⼒ 他们超脱了所有教学技术 和⾼⼤空的流⾏语。
如果我们在学⽣提问之前，就把这些技术呈现出来 我们将毁掉我们
作为⽼师 ⼿中最强⼤的武器——学⽣们的疑问。 ⽐如说，在教室
⾥借助移动电⼦设备 将⼀堂沉闷的课快速讲完 或许会节省些⽼师
进⾏指导的时间， 但是，如果这是学⽣在课堂上所能收获的体验，
那这种照本宣科的⽆趣 只是华⽽不实的教学罢了。 但是，如果我
们有胆量 去引起学⽣们的疑问，让他们感到困惑， 唤起他们提出
真正的问题， 然后从他们的问题⾥，⽼师可以得到很多信息 来帮
助作些调整教学 采⽤多样化的教学⽅法

So, 21st-century lingo jargon mumbo jumbo aside, the truth is,
I've been teaching for 13 years now, and it took a life-
threatening situation to snap me out of 10 years of pseudo-
teaching and help me realize that student questions are the
seeds of real learning, not some scripted curriculum that gave
them tidbits of random information.
这样，21世纪的那些术语⾏话就不会像魔咒⼀样难懂了。 事实是，
今年是我从教的第13个年头， 我曾碰到过⼀件⽣死悠关的事 才将
我从10年的伪教学中拉了出来 我这才明⽩，学⽣带着疑问来学习的
⼼态 才能使他们学习到真正有意义的东西 ⽽不是照本宣科的课
程， 课程本⾝只能给学⽣提供⼀些随机的信息⽽已。
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In May of 2010, at 35 years old, with a two-year-old at home
and my second child on the way, I was diagnosed with a large
aneurysm at the base of my thoracic aorta. This led to open-
heart surgery. This is the actual real email from my doctor right
there. Now, when I got this, I was -- press Caps Lock --
absolutely freaked out, okay? But I found surprising moments
of comfort in the confidence that my surgeon embodied. Where
did this guy get this confidence, the audacity of it?
2010年5⽉份，当时我35岁， 我已经有个2岁⼤的孩⼦，我的第⼆个
孩⼦也即将出⽣， 当时我被诊断为患有⼤动脉瘤 这个肿瘤长在我的
胸主动脉上。 因此，我要需做⼀个开腔⼿术。 这就是当时我的医⽣
写给我的电⼦邮件。 当我收到他的邮件时，我的头都⼤了 当时真的
完全被吓坏了！ 但我还是得到些许意外的安慰 这种安慰来源于我的
外科医⽣的⾃信⼼。 他的⾃信⼼来是打哪⼉来的呢？来⾃于他的⼤
胆吗？

So when I asked him, he told me three things. He said first, his

curiosity drove him to ask hard questions about the procedure,
about what worked and what didn't work. Second, he embraced,
and didn't fear, the messy process of trial and error, the
inevitable process of trial and error. And third, through intense
reflection, he gathered the information that he needed to design
and revise the procedure, and then, with a steady hand, he saved
my life.
我问他这个问题，他跟我讲了三件事情。 他说，第⼀，他的好奇⼼
驱使他去 就⼿术的程序预设了很多硬性问题， 把各种可⾏和不可⾏
的⽅案全都想遍了。 第⼆，不要害怕逃避，要勇于⾯对 尝试与错误
中的各种冗杂问题， 和不可避免的过程。 第三，通过紧张有致的综
合思考， 他获取了他所需的信息 以此来设计和修改⼿术的进程，
最后，他胸有成⽵地帮我做了⼿术，救了我⼀命。

Now I absorbed a lot from these words of wisdom, and before I

went back into the classroom that fall, I wrote down three rules
of my own that I bring to my lesson planning still today. Rule
number one: Curiosity comes first. Questions can be windows
to great instruction, but not the other way around. Rule number
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two: Embrace the mess. We're all teachers. We know learning
is ugly. And just because the scientific method is allocated to
page five of section 1.2 of chapter one of the one that we all
skip, okay, trial and error can still be an informal part of what
we do every single day at Sacred Heart Cathedral in room
206. And rule number three: Practice reflection. What we do is
important. It deserves our care, but it also deserves our
revision. Can we be the surgeons of our classrooms? As if
what we are doing one day will save lives. Our students our
worth it. And each case is different.
我从他充满智慧的⾔语中学到很多， 那年秋季，在我回校上课
前， 我也给⾃⼰的教学定了三条规则， ⾄今，我⼀直在我的教学
中遵循这三条规则。 第⼀条规则：把学⽣的好奇⼼放在第⼀位。
学⽣的问题是帮助教师进⾏重要学习指导的窗⼜， ⽽不是反其道
⽽⾏之。 第⼆条规则：勇于⾯对各种冗杂。 我们都是教师。我们
知道学习绝⾮易事。 这是因为，科学的⽅法已经写在 课本第五页
的第⼀章第⼀部分的第⼆节⾥了 ⽽这章又刚好是我们跳过不讲
的： 试错法（通过反复试验来消除误差）。 这种⽅法仍然是 我们
每天在圣⼼⼤教堂206室⾥ 所采⽤的⼀种⾮正规⽅法。 第三条：实
践反思。 我们做的是重要的事。它值得我们关注， ⽽且也值得我
们去进⾏修正。 我们这些⽼师能不能成为课堂中的外科医⽣呢？
我们所教的东西或许在将来的某⼀天可能会救别⼈⼀命。 我们的
学⽣，我们得珍惜。 ⽽每个个体都是不同的。

All right. Sorry. The chemistry teacher in me just needed to

get that out of my system before we move on.
对不起，太⼤声了。 作为化学⽼师，我得先做好这三点 然后才能
教好学⽣。

So these are my daughters. On the right we have little

Emmalou -- Southern family. And, on the left, Riley. Now
Riley's going to be a big girl in a couple weeks here. She's
going to be four years old, and anyone who knows a four-
year-old knows that they love to ask, "Why?" Yeah. Why. I
could teach this kid anything because she is curious about

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everything. We all were at that age. But the challenge is
really for Riley's future teachers, the ones she has yet to meet.
How will they grow this curiosity?
这是我的两个⼥⼉的照⽚。 右边那个是Emmalou——南⽅家族的
⼈。 左边那位是Riley。 再过⼏周，Riley就要成为⼀个⼤⼥孩
了。 她的4岁⽣⽇快到了， 众所周知，⼀个4岁的孩⼦ 总是喜欢
问：“为什么？” 对。他们喜欢问这个问题。 我可以教给我⼥⼉任
何东西 因为她对什么都感兴趣。 我们所有⼈在4岁时都这样的。
但是Riley未来的⽼师 将要⾯临很⼤的挑战了， 他们会怎样来培
养她的好奇⼼呢？

You see, I would argue that Riley is a metaphor for all kids,
and I think dropping out of school comes in many different
forms -- to the senior who's checked out before the year's
even begun or that empty desk in the back of an urban middle
school's classroom. But if we as educators leave behind this
simple role as disseminators of content and embrace a new
paradigm as cultivators of curiosity and inquiry, we just
might bring a little bit more meaning to their school day, and
spark their imagination.
其实，我在⽤Rildy来喻指所有的孩⼦。 我知道，辍学会以各种形
式出现—— ⽐如⾼中学⽣还没开学就辍学了， 或者市区中学教
室⾥后排空着的课桌。 但是如果我们不仅仅是扮演 知识传播者
的⾓⾊， ⽽且还开创⼀种新的教学模式 去激发学⽣的好奇⼼和
探究兴趣， 我们将会为学⽣的求学带来更多意义 唤醒他们的想
象⼒。

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记得说出感谢
Remember to say thank you

Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of praise,

admiration and thank you, and having it be specific and
genuine.
嗨。我在这⾥要和⼤家谈谈 向别⼈表达赞美，倾佩和谢意的重要
性。 并使它们听来真诚，具体。

And the way I got interested in this was, I noticed in myself,

when I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that
I would want to say thank you to someone, I would want to
praise them, I would want to take in their praise of me and I'd
just stop it. And I asked myself, why? I felt shy, I felt
embarrassed. And then my question became, am I the only
one who does this? So, I decided to investigate.
之所以我对此感兴趣 是因为我从我⾃⼰的成长中注意到 ⼏年前，
当我想要对某个⼈说声谢谢时， 当我想要赞美他们时， 当我想接
受他们对我的赞扬， 但我却没有说出⼜。 我问我⾃⼰，这是为什
么？ 我感到害羞，我感到尴尬。 接着我产⽣了⼀个问题 难道我
是唯⼀⼀个这么做的⼈吗？ 所以我决定做些探究。

I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility, so I get to

see people who are facing life and death with addiction. And
sometimes it comes down to something as simple as, their
core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud
of them.
我⾮常幸运的在⼀家康复中⼼⼯作， 所以我可以看到那些因为上
瘾⽽⾯临⽣与死的⼈。 有时候这⼀切可以⾮常简单地归结为， 他
们最核⼼的创伤来⾃于他们⽗亲到死都未说过“他为他们⽽⾃
豪”。

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Day. Date.
But then, they hear from all the family and friends that the
father told everybody else that he was proud of him, but he
never told the son. It's because he didn't know that his son
needed to hear it.
但他们从所有其它家庭或朋友那⾥得知 他的⽗亲告诉其他⼈为他
感到⾃豪， 但这个⽗亲从没告诉过他⼉⼦。 因为他不知道他的⼉
⼦需要听到这⼀切。

So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we

need? I know a gentleman, married for 25 years, who's
longing to hear his wife say, "Thank you for being the
breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids," but won't ask.
I know a woman who's good at this. She, once a week, meets
with her husband and says, "I'd really like you to thank me for
all these things I did in the house and with the kids." And he
goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great." And praise really does
have to be genuine, but she takes responsibility for that. And a
friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten, she
thanks her children for doing their chores. And she said, "Why
wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?"
因此我的问题是，为什么我们不索求我们需要的东西呢？ 我认识
⼀个结婚25年的男⼠ 渴望听到他妻⼦说， “感谢你为这个家在外赚
钱，这样我才能在家陪伴着孩⼦，” 但他从来不去问。 我认识⼀个
精于此道的⼥⼠。 每周⼀次，她见到丈夫后会说， “我真的希望你
为我对这个家和孩⼦们付出的努⼒⽽感谢我。” 他会应和到“哦，
真是太棒了，真是太棒了。” 赞扬别⼈⼀定要真诚， 但她对赞美承
担了责任。 ⼀个从我上幼⼉园就⼀直是朋友的叫April的⼈， 她会
感谢她的孩⼦们做了家务。 她说：“为什么我不表⽰感谢呢，即使
他们本来就要做那些事情？”

So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other
people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium
rare, I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise
me this way?"
因次我的问题是，为什么我不说呢？ 为什么其它⼈不说呢？ 为什

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么我能说：“我要⼀块中等厚度的⽜排， 我需要6号尺⼨的鞋⼦，”
但我却不能说：“你可以赞扬我吗？”

And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm
telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need
your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the
enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could
neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my
need.
因为这会使我把我的重要信息与你分享。 会让我告诉了你我内⼼
的不安。 会让你认为我需要你的帮助。 虽然你是我最贴⼼的⼈，
我却把你当作是敌⼈。 你会⽤我托付给你的重要信息做些什么
呢？ 你可以忽视我。 你可以滥⽤它。 或者你可以满⾜我的要求。

And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same
bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The
guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to
make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and
they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've
had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. So, I'm
going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels:
be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you
need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does
she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go
home and ask those questions, and then help the people around
you.
我把我的⾃⾏车拿到车⾏－－我喜欢这么做－－ 同样的⾃⾏车，
他们会对车轮做整形。 那⾥的⼈说：“当你对车轮做整形时， 它会
使⾃⾏车变成更好。” 我把这辆⾃⾏车拿回来， 他们把有⼩⼩弯曲
的铁丝从轮⼦上拿⾛ 这辆车我⽤了2年半，现在还像新的⼀样。 所
以我要问在场的所有⼈， 我希望你们把你们的车轮整形⼀下： 真
诚⾯对对你们想听到的赞美。 你们想听到什么呢？ 回家问问你们
的妻⼦，她想听到什么？ 回家问问你们的丈夫，他想听到什么？
回家问问这些问题，并帮助⾝边的⼈实现它们。

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Day. Date.
And it's simple. And why should we care about this? We talk
about world peace. How can we have world peace with
different cultures, different languages?
⾮常简单。 为什么要关⼼这个呢？ 我们谈论世界和平。 我们怎么
⽤不同的⽂化，不同的语⾔来保持世界和平？

I think it starts household by household, under the same roof.

So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And I want to
thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands,
great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe
somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really,
really good job. And thank you for being here, just showing up
and changing the world with your ideas.
我想要从每个⼩家庭开始。 所以让我们在家⾥就把这件事情做
好。 我想要感谢所有在这⾥的⼈们 因为你们是好丈夫，好母亲，
好伙伴，好⼥⼉和好⼉⼦。 或许有些⼈从没跟你们说过 但你们已
经做得⾮常⾮常得出⾊了。 感谢你们来到这⾥， 向世界显⽰着你
们的智慧，并⽤它们改变着世界。

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Day. Date.

简化⽣活，提升幸福感
Less stuff, more happiness

What's in the box? Whatever it is must be pretty important,

because I've traveled with it, moved it, from apartment to
apartment to apartment.
猜猜看这个箱⼦⾥有什么？ ⾄少是些要紧的东西吧 毕竟不管我去
哪⼉，搬到哪⼉ 都带着这个箱⼦呢

Sound familiar? Did you know that we Americans have about

three times the amount of space we did 50 years ago? Three
times. So you'd think, with all this extra space, we'd have
plenty of room for all our stuff. Nope. There's a new industry in
town, a 22 billion-dollar, 2.2 billion sq. ft. industry: that of
personal storage. So we've got triple the space, but we've
become such good shoppers that we need even more space. So
where does this lead? Lots of credit card debt, huge
environmental footprints, and perhaps not coincidentally, our
happiness levels flat-lined over the same 50 years.
你们也⼲过差不多的事⼉吧？ 说起来你们知不知道 跟50年前的美
国⼈相⽐ 我们有了3倍多的空间？ 整整三倍啊！ 那你可能会说，既
然空间更多了 那肯定够我们放各种东西了 ⾮也⾮也。 要知道现在
有个新兴产业 价值220亿美元、累计占地22亿平⽅英尺 ⽽作⽤就是
为客户提供存储空间 虽然我们有了三倍多的空间 但我们的消费能
⼒增长得更快 因此我们实际上需要更多的空间 那这⼀切的后果有
哪些呢？ ⽐如⼤量的信⽤卡贷款 对环境的巨⼤影响 还有这50年⾥
停滞不前的幸福⽔平 ⽽这最后⼀点恐怕并⾮⽆巧不成书。

Well I'm here to suggest there's a better way, that less might
actually equal more. I bet most of us have experienced at some
point the joys of less: college -- in your dorm, traveling -- in a
hotel room, camping -- rig up basically nothing, maybe a boat.

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Day. Date.
Whatever it was for you, I bet that, among other things, this
gave you a little more freedom, a little more time. So I'm
going to suggest that less stuff and less space are going to
equal a smaller footprint. It's actually a great way to save you
some money. And it's going to give you a little more ease in
your life.
所以我想说，其实有⼀种更好的⽣活⽅式： 在这⾥少⼀些，在别
处就多⼀些。 我相信我们⼤部分⼈都或多或少地 体验过“少”的乐
趣 校园⾥——我们只需要⼀间宿舍 旅途中——我们只需要⼀间客
房 野营时——基本⽤不着什么东西 可能要⼀条船。 我相信，和其
它事物相⽐ 这些会给你带来多⼀点点⾃由 和多⼀点点时间 所以我
想说 少⽤点东西、少占点空间 就意味着对环境少些影响 也能为你
节省⼀些花销 ⽽且，你的⽣活也会变得更加轻松

So I started a project called Life Edited at lifeedited.org to

further this conversation and to find some great solutions in
this area. First up: crowd-sourcing my 420 sq. ft. apartment in
Manhattan with partners Mutopo and Jovoto.com. I wanted it
all -- home office, sit down dinner for 10, room for guests, and
all my kite surfing gear. With over 300 entries from around the
world, I got it, my own little jewel box. By buying a space that
was 420 sq. ft. instead of 600, immediately I'm saving 200
grand. Smaller space is going to make for smaller utilities --
save some more money there, but also a smaller footprint.
因此我开始做这个名为Life Edited精简⽣活的项⽬ 在⽹站
lifeedited.org 上⼀⽅⾯推⼴我的理念 另⼀⽅⾯寻找⼀些解决⽅案
⾸先，我和Mutopo及Jovoto.com合作 众包我在曼哈顿的420平⽅英
尺的公寓 我希望它能拥有以下所有的功能： 家庭办公室、10⼈餐
桌 留宿客⼈的空间 还有我全套的风筝冲浪设备 从世界各地发来的
300条建议中 我找到了这个最优⽅案。 我买了420平⽅英尺 ⽽不是
600平⽅英尺的房⼦ 仅此⼀项我就省了⼆⼗万美元 更⼩的空间意
味着更⼩的⽤具 在这⽅⾯我们不光能够省点钱 也能给环境少带来
些影响。

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Day. Date.
And because it's really designed around an edited set of
possessions -- my favorite stuff -- and really designed for me,
I'm really excited to be there.
正因为这些⽤具都是围绕着 我最想要的功能 专门为我设计的 我⾃
然很向往能够住到那⾥

So how can you live little? Three main approaches. First of all,
you have to edit ruthlessly. We've got to clear the arteries of
our lives. And that shirt that I hadn't worn in years? It's time
for me to let it go. We've got to cut the extraneous out of our
lives, and we've got to learn to stem the inflow. We need to
think before we buy. Ask ourselves, "Is that really going to
make me happier? Truly?" By all means, we should buy and
own some great stuff. But we want stuff that we're going to
love for years, not just stuff.
那我们怎样才能活得精简呢？ 有三条⼤道。 第⼀，你必须铁⾯⽆
情地去开始精简⼯作 就像去除掉我们⾝上的动脉瘤⼀样毫不留情
⽐如那件我好⼏年都没穿过的T恤嘛…… 是时候让它去了 我们得把
⽣活中⽆关紧要的细枝末节修剪掉 并且学会逆潮流⽽动 我们应该
三思⽽后消费 买东西之前问问⾃⼰： “买了它我真的能更加开⼼
吗？” 诚然 我们应该购买并拥有⼀些很棒的东西 但我们更需要那些
我们对其的喜爱经久不衰的东西 ⽽不仅仅是任何物品

Secondly, our new mantra: small is sexy. We want space

efficiency. We want things that are designed for how they're
used the vast majority of the time, not that rare event.
第⼆，也是我们的新⼜号： ⼩也有魅⼒ 我们想要⾼空间利⽤率。
我们想要的⽤具 应该是依据多数情形下它们的使⽤⽅来设计的 ⽽
不是专为少数情形⽽设计的。就好⽐⼀般你连三个灶头都很少同时
使⽤ 。

Why have a six burner stove when you rarely use three? So we
want things that nest, we want things that stack, and we want it
digitized. You can take paperwork, books, movies, and you can
make it disappear -- it's magic.

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Day. Date.
为什么要去买六灶头的燃⽓灶？ 我们需要的器具应该能够⼤的套
⼩的，或者能够层叠放置的 如果⼀样东西能数字化那就更好 那样
你可以把所有⽂件 书籍、电影等等 都化为⽆形——就像变戏法⼀
样。

Finally, we want multifunctional spaces and housewares -- a

sink combined with a toilet, a dining table becomes a bed --
same space, a little side table stretches out to seat 10. In the
winning Life Edited scheme in a render here, we combine a
moving wall with transformer furniture to get a lot out of the
space. Look at the coffee table -- it grows in height and width
to seat 10. My office folds away, easily hidden. My bed just
pops out of the wall with two fingers. Guests? Move the
moving wall, have some fold-down guest beds. And of course,
my own movie theater.
最后，我们需要多功能的空间利⽤与多功能家具—— ⽐如⼀体化
的⽔⽃和坐便器 餐桌与床的两⽤ 同样的空间⾥ 这个⼩⼩的桌⼦
可以伸展为能坐10个⼈的⼤桌⼦ “精简⽣活”的⼀个优胜设计 把⼀
堵墙和“变形⾦刚”式的家具有机结合 从⽽⾼效地利⽤了有限的空
间 看看这个咖啡桌： 它可以拉长、抬⾼ 使得能够容纳10个⼈同时
就座 我的个⼈⼯作台 能够⽅便地折叠并隐藏 只⽤两个⼿指就能把
床从墙壁⾥变出来 家⾥来客⼈了？动⼀下这堵墙 ⾥⾯有折叠式的
客床 当然，它也能变成我的家庭影院

So I'm not saying that we all need to live in 420 sq. ft. But
consider the benefits of an edited life. Go from 3,000 to
2,000, from 1,500 to 1,000. Most of us, maybe all of us, are
here pretty happily for a bunch of days with a couple of bags,
maybe a small space, a hotel room.
我不是说每个⼈都应该只住在 420平⽅英尺(约40平⽅⽶)的空间⾥
但精简⽣活的确能带来诸多好处。 ⽐如从3000平⽅英尺到2000平
⽅英尺 或者从1500到1000平⽅英尺 我们中的⼤多数，也可能是所
有⼈ 在这⼏天都过得很愉快 虽然我们只随⾝带了⼏个包 并且住在
⼀个⼩⼩的旅店房间⾥ 。

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Day. Date.
So when you go home and you walk through your front door,
take a second and ask yourselves, "Could I do with a little life
editing? Would that give me a little more freedom? Maybe a
little more time?"
所以你这次回家、踏⼊房门之后 不妨问问⾃⼰ “怎么样把我的⽣活
也精简⼀番呢？” “那样是不是会带来更多⾃由——” “更多时间
呢？”

What's in the box? It doesn't really matter. I know I don't need

it. What's in yours? Maybe, just maybe, less might equal more.
So let's make room for the good stuff.
我这个箱⼦⾥装了什么？ 这其实并不重要 因为我不需要它们。 你
的包袱⾥装了什么？ 还是有那么⼀些可能性 使得“少”也能意味着
某种“多”。 所以让我们把有限的空间 都留给重要的东西吧。

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Day. Date.

健康的时间观念
The psychology of time

I want to share with you some ideas about the secret power of
time, in a very short time.
我想跟你们分享⼀些 对时间的神秘⼒量的看法 当然是在很短的时
间内

Video: All right, start the clock please. 30 seconds studio.

Keep it quiet please. Settle down. It's about time. End
sequence. Take one. 15 seconds studio. 10, nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four, three, two ...
视频：好的，开始计时。30秒倒计时 保持安静。 注意时间。结束
倒计时。 15秒倒计时 10，9，8，7 6，5，4，3，2......

Philip Zimbardo: Let's tune into the conversation of the

principals in Adam's temptation. "Come on Adam, don't be so
wishy-washy. Take a bite." "I did." "One bite, Adam. Don't
abandon Eve." "I don't know, guys. I don't want to get in
trouble." "Okay. One bite. What the hell?"
Philip Zimbardo: 让我们来看看这段对话 是有关“亚当的诱惑” 快，
亚当，别磨磨唧唧的，就咬⼀⼜，我已咬过了 就⼀⼜，亚当。不
要放弃夏娃 我不知道啊 我真的不想惹⿇烦 好吧，就⼀⼜。能怎么
样？

Life is temptation. It's all about yielding, resisting, yes, no,

now, later, impulsive, reflective, present focus and future
focus. Promised virtues fall prey to the passions of the
moment.
⽣活中充满了诱惑。⽽且到处都是：屈服或反抗 是、不是、现
在、随后、冲动、沉稳 专注现在和展望未来 激情时刻⼀旦到来，
道德束缚将皆被打破。

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Day. Date.
Of teenage girls who pledged sexual abstinence and virginity
until marriage -- thank you George Bush -- the majority, 60
percent, yielded to sexual temptations within one year. And
most of them did so without using birth control. So much for
promises.
那些承诺婚前⽆性⾏为的⼥孩 – 这⾥感谢下⼩布什总统 ⼤多数，
⼤概百分之六⼗的⼈在⼀年之内就违背了⾃⼰的承诺 ⽽这些⼈⼏
乎没采取任何“安全措施” 多么多的承诺啊

Now lets tempt four-year-olds, giving them a treat. They can

have one marshmallow now. But if they wait until the
experimenter comes back, they can have two. Of course it
pays, if you like marshmallows, to wait. What happens is two-
thirds of the kids give in to temptation. They cannot wait. The
others, of course, wait. They resist the temptation. They delay
the now for later.
现在我们来试试引诱4岁的孩⼦，拿他们来做个试验 他们现在有⼀
个棉花糖，如果他们能够 等到实验员回来再吃的话，就可以得到2
个棉花糖 这当然是需要付出的，如果你真喜欢吃棉花糖的话，那
就等着 但结果是3分之2的孩⼦屈服于诱惑 他们等不了。当然，其
它的孩⼦都得到了第⼆个棉花糖 因为他们抵抗了诱惑。他们⽢于
先苦后甜。

Walter Mischel, my colleague at Stanford, went back 14 years

later, to try to discover what was different about those kids.
There were enormous differences between kids who resisted
and kids who yielded, in many ways. The kids who resisted
scored 250 points higher on the SAT. That's enormous. That's
like a whole set of different IQ points.
沃特⽶塞奇，是我在斯坦福⼤学的同事 他在14年后 重新找到这些
孩⼦并去勘察他们现时的情况 结果发现这两组孩⼦在各个⽅⾯ 都
有着巨⼤的差异 那些等到了第⼆个棉花糖的孩⼦在SAT中⽐另⼀组
得分平均⾼250分 这是多么⼤的差异啊！这根本就是两组智商⽔平
不同的孩⼦啊

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Day. Date.
They didn't get in as much trouble. They were better students.
They were self-confident and determined. And the key for me
today, the key for you, is, they were future-focused rather than
present-focused.
他们都没有任何问题，都是好学⽣ 他们⾃信⽽且果断。那么今天
我所要说的关键是 同样也是你们的关键点 就是由“⾯向现在”转变
为“展望未来”

So what is time perspective? That's what I'm going to talk

about today. Time perspective is the study of how individuals,
all of us, divide the flow of your human experience into time
zones or time categories. And you do it automatically and non-
consciously. They vary between cultures, between nations,
between individuals, between social classes, between
education levels. And the problem is that they can become
biased, because you learn to over-use some of them and under-
use the others.
那什么是时间洞察⼒呢？这将是我下⾯要讲的 时间洞察⼒是研究
个⼈ 包括我们在内，如何以时间区域或时间类别为单位 划分⾃⾝
的经历体验。 其实我们⼀直都在⾃然⽽然地做着 ⽽影响我们划分
⽅式的因素有很多，包括不同的⽂化背景、国家 个⼈、社会阶
层 以及不同的教育背景 问题是由于这些因素的存在，最终导致时
间洞察⼒都具是⽚⾯的 因为你学会经常使⽤其中的⼀些，⽽其他
的则被很少使⽤。
What determines any decision you make? You make a decision
on which you're going to base an action. For some people it's
only about what is in the immediate situation, what other
people are doing and what you're feeling. And those people,
when they make their decisions in that format -- we're going to
call them "present-oriented," because their focus is what is
now.
是什么促使你做出那些选择？ 你所做的决定是基于你怎么采取⾏
动的 对⼀些⼈来说，这个决定只是基于现状 另⼀些⼈是基于他们
的直觉。 对于那些基于现状⽽做决定的⼈ 我们称呼他们为：“⾯向
现在” 因为他们专注于现正发⽣的事情

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For others, the present is irrelevant. It's always about "What is
this situation like that I've experienced in the past?" So that
their decisions are based on past memories. And we're going
to call those people "past-oriented," because they focus on
what was.
对于另⼀些⼈来说，现正发⽣什么并不重要 就好像是说：“我以前
好像经历过类似的事情”⼀样 所以，他们基于过去的经验来做决
定 我们称呼这些⼈为：“观望过去”，因为他们专注于过去

For others it's not the past, it's not the present, it's only about
the future. Their focus is always about anticipated
consequences. Cost-benefit analysis. We're going to call them
"future-oriented." Their focus is on what will be.
还有⼀部分⼈，他们的考虑不是基于现在，也不是过去 ⽽是未
来 他们专注于预期的结果 就像成本效益分析⼀样 我们称呼这些⼈
为：展望未来。因为他们专注于将来会是怎么样的

So, time paradox, I want to argue, the paradox of time

perspective, is something that influences every decision you
make, you're totally unaware of. Namely, the extent to which
you have one of these biased time perspectives. Well there is
actually six of them. There are two ways to be present-
oriented. There is two ways to be past-oriented, two ways to
be future.
那么，时间悖论，这⾥我要讨论的是： 时间洞察⼒的悖论 会不会
有某个因素影响你做出的每⼀个决定 ⽽你又完全不知？ 那你就具
有某种程度上的 ⽚⾯的时间洞察⼒ 实际上是有六种时间洞察⼒，
其中两个属于“⾯向现在” 两个属于“观望过去”，还有两个属于“展
望未来”

You can focus on past-positive, or past-negative. You can be

present-hedonistic, namely you focus on the joys of life, or
present-fatalist -- it doesn't matter, your life is controlled. You
can be future-oriented, setting goals. Or you can be
transcendental future: namely, life begins after death.

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Developing the mental flexibility to shift time perspectives
fluidly depending on the demands of the situation, that's what
you've got to learn to do.
你可以专注于“积极经历”或“消极经历” 也可以专注于“享受现
在” 指的是你专注于⽣活中的快乐，或者⾃⾝宿命 这些都⽆所
谓，因为你的⽣活尽在掌握 当然，你也可以“展望未来”，设定⼀
个⽬标 或者超越未来 指的是：⽣命在死后重新开始 通过增强精神
灵活性来顺利地提升时间洞察⼒ 这有赖于环境的需求 这就是你要
学着去做的

So, very quickly, what is the optimal time profile? High on

past-positive. Moderately high on future. And moderate on
present-hedonism. And always low on past-negative and
present-fatalism. So the optimal temporal mix is what you get
from the past -- past-positive gives you roots. You connect
your family, identity and your self. What you get from the
future is wings to soar to new destinations, new challenges.
What you get from the present hedonism is the energy, the
energy to explore yourself, places, people, sensuality.
那么，什么是最佳的时间洞察⼒呢？ ⾼度依赖于“积极经历”，适
度依赖于未来 适度依赖于”享受现在“ 永远不考虑“消极经历” 和“宿
命论” 其实，最佳的时间洞察⼒是由你过去的经历 “积极经历”奠定
了基础，你和你的家庭，独⽴⾃主 从未来得到是 值得奋⽃的⽬
标，新的挑战 从“享受现在”中得到的是动⼒ 去探索⾃⾝ 世界、他
⼈以及原始需求

Any time perspective in excess has more negatives than

positives. What do futures sacrifice for success? They
sacrifice family time. They sacrifice friend time.
任何时间洞察⼒中总是负性多于正性的 举个例⼦：为了将来的成
功我们需要牺牲些什么呢？ 我们需要牺牲和家庭在⼀起的时光，
需要牺牲和朋友在⼀起的时光。

They sacrifice fun time. They sacrifice personal indulgence.

They sacrifice hobbies. And they sacrifice sleep. So it affects
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their health. And they live for work, achievement and control.
I'm sure that resonates with some of the TEDsters.
需要牺牲那些快乐的时光，需要牺牲个⼈嗜好 需要牺牲业余爱
好，需要牺牲睡眠时间。因此会影响⾝体健康 他们的⽣活中只有
⼯作、成就和控制欲 我保证你们在座的⼀些⼈会对此引起共鸣

And it resonated for me. I grew up as a poor kid in the South

Bronx ghetto, a Sicilian family -- everyone lived in the past
and present. I'm here as a future-oriented person who went
over the top, who did all these sacrifices because teachers
intervened, and made me future oriented. Told me don't eat
that marshmallow, because if you wait you're going to get two
of them, until I learned to balance out. I've added present-
hedonism, I've added a focus on the past-positive, so, at 76
years old, I am more energetic than ever, more productive, and
I'm happier than I have ever been.
这些与我引起了共鸣，我出⽣于南布朗克斯贫民窟中的⼀个贫困
的 西西⾥岛⼈的家庭中。每个⼈都是在沉湎过去和活在当下 在这
⾥，我，作为⼀位“展望未来”的⼈ 拜我的⽼师所赐，我做出了以
上所有的牺牲 并将我改变成为⼀位“展望未来”的⼈。 告诉我不要
那个棉花糖 因为如果你等待的话，就能吃到2个 直到我学会了如何
平衡舍与得的关系。 现在我学会了“享受现在”，同时也学会了观
望“积极经历” 因此，在我76岁的时候，我感觉到从没有过的精⼒、
动⼒ 现在的我⽐以前任何时候都要快乐！

I just want to say that we are applying this to many world

problems: changing the drop-out rates of school kids,
combating addictions, enhancing teen health, curing vets'
PTSD with time metaphors -- getting miracle cures --
promoting sustainability and conservation, reducing physical
rehabilitation where there is a 50-percent drop out rate,
altering appeals to suicidal terrorists, and modifying family
conflicts as time-zone clashes.

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这⾥，我只是想说：要应⽤这个原理去解决世界上的很多问题 改变
学校的退学率 打击毒品，增强青少年健康 ⽤时间隐喻法治疗那些
患有创伤后应激障碍的⽼兵 — 创造医学奇迹 促进可持续发展和保
护 在具有50%退出率的医院内减缓⾝体康复 改变那些呼吁⾃杀的恐
怖分⼦ 将家庭⽭盾转化为时间区域的冲突

So I want to end by saying: many of life's puzzles can be

solved by understanding your time perspective and that of
others. And the idea is so simple, so obvious, but I think the
consequences are really profound. Thank you so much.
最后我想说的是 如果真正理解⾃⾝的以及其他⼈的时间观点的
话 ⽣活中的许多困惑都会被解开 道理是简单且显⽽易见的 但结论
是深奥的 谢谢！

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久坐的危害
Why sitting is bad for you?
Right now, you're probably sitting down to watch this video
and staying seated for a few minutes to view it is probably
okay. But the longer you stay put, the more agitated your body
becomes. It sits there counting down the moments until you
stand up again and take it for a walk.
现在，你可能坐着看这个视频，花上⼏分钟，坐着看完这个视频
好像没什么问题。 但是你坐得越久， 你的⾝体就越焦躁不安。 你
的⾝体坐着数倒计时， 直到你重新站起来 带着你的⾝体⾛两步。

That may sound ridiculous. Our bodies love to sit, right? Not
really. Sure, sitting for brief periods can help us recover from
stress or recuperate from exercise. But nowadays, our
lifestyles make us sit much more than we move around, and
our bodies simply aren't built for such a sedentary existence.
In fact, just the opposite is true. The human body is built to
move, and you can see evidence of that in the way it's
structured.
这听起来可能很荒谬。 我们的⾝体喜欢坐着，不是吗？ 不是的。
的确，短时间地坐⼀会，能帮我们从紧张的情绪中中恢复过来，
或在运动后恢复体⼒。 但是如今，我们的⽣活⽅式 使我们坐的时
间远远⼤于我们活动的时间， 然⽽我们的⾝体并不仅是为了久坐
⽽构建的。事实恰好相反。 ⼈类的⾝体⽣来是为了运动。 并且你
能从⼈类的⾝体构造的⽅式中找到证据。

Inside us are over 360 joints, and about 700 skeletal muscles
that enable easy, fluid motion. The body's unique physical
structure gives us the ability to stand up straight against the
pull of gravity.
我们全⾝有超过360个关节， 还有⼤约700块⾻骼肌 这让我们能够
轻松流畅地做各种动作。 ⼈类⾝体独特的构造使我们能够 对抗地
⼼引⼒，笔直地⽴在天地之间。
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Our blood depends on us moving around to be able to
circulate properly. Our nerve cells benefit from movement,
and our skin is elastic, meaning it molds to our motions. So if
every inch of the body is ready and waiting for you to move,
what happens when you just don't?
我们的⾎液需要我们活动 才能合理地循环。 ⾝体活动同时也会给
神经细胞带来好处。 ⽽且我们的⽪肤是有弹性的， 它会随着我们
的动作⽽变化。 所以，我们⾝体的每⼀⼨都 准备好了并期待着你
去多活动 但如果你偏偏不动， 我们⾝体到底会发⽣什么事？

Let's start with the backbone of the problem, literally. Your

spine is a long structure made of bones and the cartilage discs
that sit between them. Joints, muscles and ligaments that are
attached to the bones hold it all together. A common way of
sitting is with a curved back and slumped shoulders, a position
that puts uneven pressure on your spine.
让我们先来看看脊椎部分。 你的脊椎是⼀个长形的结构， ⾻骼和
软⾻交错其中。 附着在⾻骼上的关节，肌⾁和韧带 把它们紧紧地
连结在⼀起。 最常见的坐姿是弯着的背和下榻的肩膀，这个姿势
往往给你的脊椎施加了不平均的压⼒。

Over time, this causes wear and tear in your spinal discs,
overworks certain ligaments and joints, and puts strain on
muscles that stretch to accommodate your back's curved
position. This hunched shape also shrinks your chest cavity
while you sit, meaning your lungs have less space to expand
into when you breath. That's a problem because it temporarily
limits the amount of oxygen that fills your lungs and filters
into your blood.
⽇积⽉累，它会磨损你的腰间盘， 使⼀些关节和肌⾁过度劳损，
肌⾁也紧绷着 去迎合弯曲的背部。 驼背坐着同时也缩⼩了你胸腔
的空间， 这意味着，呼吸时肺部舒张没有⾜够的空间 这样就形成
了⼀个问题， 因为它暂时性地限制了 填充肺部的， 和滤进⾎液⾥
的氧⽓容量。

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Around the skeleton are the muscles, nerves, arteries and veins
that form the body's soft tissue layers. The very act of sitting
squashes, pressurizes and compresses, and these more delicate
tissues really feel the brunt. Have you ever experienced
numbness and swelling in your limbs when you sit?
⾻架的周围都是肌⾁，神经，和动静脉， 形成了⼈体的软组织
层。 这种坐姿，⽆时⽆刻不在向⾝体施加压⼒， ⽽这些更为精细
的组织真实地感受到了这种冲击。 当你久坐的时候， 你有过四肢
肿胀或者肢体⿇⽊的感觉吗？

In areas that are the most compressed, your nerves, arteries

and veins can become blocked, which limits nerve signaling,
causing the numbness, and reduces blood flow in your limbs,
causing them to swell. Sitting for long periods also
temporarily deactivates lipoprotein lipase, a special enzyme in
the walls of blood capillaries that breaks down fats in the
blood, so when you sit, you're not burning fat nearly as well as
when you move around.
这是因为在那些被挤压的最厉害的部位， 你的神经，动脉和⾎管
会慢慢堵塞， 这阻断了神经信号的传导，引起⿇⽊； 并且这种堵
塞减缓了你肢体中⾎液流动的速度，使你四肢肿胀。 同时，长时
间的坐着会导致脂蛋⽩脂肪酶暂时性失效， 这是⼀种存在于⽑细
⾎管壁中 降低⾎液中脂肪含量的 ⼀种特殊酵素。 所以当你坐着的
时候，你的体内 ⼏乎没有像你活动时那样分解脂肪。

What effect does all of this stasis have on the brain? Most of
the time, you probably sit down to use your brain, but
ironically, lengthy periods of sitting actually run counter to
this goal. Being stationary reduces blood flow and the amount
of oxygen entering your blood stream through your lungs.
这种停滞和郁积对⼈的⼤脑又有什么影响呢？ 在很多时候，你⼤
概都是坐着去思考问题， 但是讽刺的是，长时间的坐着却让你和
你的初衷背道⽽驰。 坐着不动使⾎液流动放缓， 使通过肺部进⼊
⾎液中的氧⽓减少。

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Your brain requires both of those things to remain alert, so
your concentration levels will most likely dip as your brain
activity slows. Unfortunately, the ill effects of being seated
don't only exist in the short term. Recent studies have found
that sitting for long periods is linked with some types of
cancers and heart disease and can contribute to diabetes,
kidney and liver problems.
你的⼤脑需要所有这些东西去保持灵敏， 随着你的⼤脑活动减
慢， 你的注意⼒集中程度有很⼤的可能性会降低 偏巧的是，这种
不良影响在短期内并不会发⽣。 近期研究发现， 长期坐着 与某些
癌症和⼼脏病存在特殊的联系， 并且可能促成糖尿病， 引起肾脏
和肝脏的病变。

In fact, researchers have worked out that, worldwide, inactivity

causes about 9% of premature deaths a year. That's over 5
million people. So what seems like such a harmless habit
actually has the power to change our health.
事实上，研究者已经发现， 每年世界上过早死亡的案例中， 不活
动占据了9%的死因， 总数超过500,000⼈。 这个看起来并没有多⼤
害处的习惯， 实际上却有影响我们健康的能⼒。

But luckily, the solutions to this mounting threat are simple

and intuitive. When you have no choice but to sit, try
switching the slouch for a straighter spine, and when you don't
have to be bound to your seat, aim to move around much more,
perhaps by setting a reminder to yourself to get up every half
hour. But mostly, just appreciate that bodies are built for
motion, not for stillness. In fact, since the video's almost over,
why not stand up and stretch right now? Treat your body to a
walk. It'll thank you later.
幸好，解决这个威胁的⽅法⾮常简单。 当你只能坐着的时候， 试
着去抬头挺胸， 当你不需要被绑在座椅上时就更不⽤说了， 试着
去到处⾛⾛活动活动。 或者你可以给⾃⼰设⼀个提⽰， 每隔半个
⼩时起来⼀下。 更多的时候，我们要感激 ⼈类的⾝体是为运动⽽
⽣，⽽不是寂静。 其实，这个视频也快到尾声了， 为什么不趁现

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在起来⾛⾛？ 把⾛⼀⾛当作对你⾝体的⼩奖赏， 它会在⽇后感谢
你的。

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每天⼀秒钟
One second every day

So, I'm an artist. I live in New York, and I've been working in
advertising for -- ever since I left school, so about seven, eight
years now, and it was draining. I worked a lot of late nights. I
worked a lot of weekends, and I found myself never having
time for all the projects that I wanted to work on on my own.
我是⼀名艺术家。 我住在纽约，从事⼴告设计， 从毕业开始我就
⼀直做这⾏， ⾄今已经七、⼋年了， 慢慢的感觉有点厌倦了。 我
熬了很多夜，在办公室度过了很多的周末， 我发现⾃⼰⼀直没有
时间来做 我真正想做的个⼈项⽬。

And one day I was at work and I saw a talk by Stefan

Sagmeister on TED, and it was called "The power of time off,"
and he spoke about how every seven years, he takes a year off
from work so he could do his own creative projects, and I was
instantly inspired, and I just said, "I have to do that. I have to
take a year off. I need to take time to travel and spend time
with my family and start my own creative ideas."So the first of
those projects ended up being something I called "One Second
Every Day." Basically I'm recording one second of every day
of my life for the rest of my life, chronologically compiling
these one-second tiny slices of my life into one single
continuous video until, you know, I can't record them anymore.
有⼀天我在⼯作的时候看到了 施德明（Stefan Sagmeister）在TED
上的演讲， 主题叫“时间流逝的⼒量”， 他提到他每过七年， 就拿
出⼀年时间来休假，抛开⼯作， 做⾃⼰的富有创造⼒的项⽬，我
的思路被他打开了， 然后我说：“我也要这么⼲，我要休⼀年的
假。” “我需要时间旅⾏，陪伴家⼈，” “开始⾃⼰的富有创造⼒的想
法。”我的项⽬中，第⼀个项⽬的名字叫 “每天⼀秒钟”。 ⼤意就是
我每天都坚持给⾃⼰录⼀秒钟的视频， 下半辈⼦⼀直坚持下去，

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慢慢的将这些⼀秒钟的视频拼接起来， 将我的⽣活的⽚段拼接成
⼀段连续的视频， 直到我没有能⼒再录制这些视频为⽌。

The purpose of this project is, one: I hate not remembering

things that I've done in the past. There's all these things that
I've done with my life that I have no recollection of unless
someone brings it up, and sometimes I think, "Oh yeah, that's
something that I did." And something that I realized early on
in the project was that if I wasn't doing anything interesting, I
would probably forget to record the video. So the day -- the
first time that I forgot, it really hurt me, because it's something
that I really wanted to -- from the moment that I turned 30, I
wanted to keep this project going until forever, and having
missed that one second, I realized, it just kind of created this
thing in my head where I never forgot ever again.
项⽬的⽬的是，第⼀： 我不喜欢忘记⾃⼰过去做过的事情。 有很
多我之前做过的事情， 我都想不起来了， 直到有⼈提起来的时
候，我或许才能想起来， “对哦，我还做过这件事情。” 在这个项
⽬开始的早期阶段我发现 如果今天过的不是很有趣， 我可能会忘
记录制视频。 所以有⼀天，当我第⼀次忘记录制视频的时候， 我
⾮常的难过，我真的不想漏掉⾃⼰的⽣活记录。 从我三⼗岁那时
起，我就希望能够 将这个项⽬延续到我死掉， ⽽漏录了那天的⼀
秒钟，我意识到， 某种意义上这让我的脑⼦ 再也不会忘记这件事
情了。

So if I live to see 80 years of age, I'm going to have a five-

hour video that encapsulates 50 years of my life. When I turn
40, I'll have a one-hour video that includes just my 30s. This
has really invigorated me day-to-day, when I wake up, to try
and do something interesting with my day. Now, one of the
things that I have issues with is that, as the days and weeks
and months go by, time just seems to start blurring and
blending into each other and, you know, I hated that, and
visualization is the way to trigger memory.

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所以如果我能活到80岁， 我的视频能够达到5个⼩时长度， 浓缩了
我50年的⽣活。 当我到了40岁的时候，是1个⼩时， 从我30岁开始
算。 这个项⽬ 让我每天醒来都⽣龙活虎 想着今天要做哪些有趣的
事情才好。现在，我要处理的问题之⼀就是， 随着时间⼀天⼀天、
⼀个⽉⼀个⽉的过去， ⽇⼦似乎变得模糊起来 边界变得不那么明
显 你们知道，我不喜欢这种感觉， ⽽可以看见的影像是激发回忆
的⽅式。

You know, this project for me is a way for me to bridge that

gap and remember everything that I've done. Even just this one
second allows me to remember everything else I did that one
day. It's difficult, sometimes, to pick that one second. On a
good day, I'll have maybe three or four seconds that I really
want to choose, but I'll just have to narrow it down to one, but
even narrowing it down to that one allows me to remember the
other three anyway.
这个项⽬对我⽽⾔就是⼀座让我能够 回忆起我过去⽣活的桥梁 即
使只是短短的⼀秒钟的视频， 也能让我回忆起⼀整天的事情。 有
时候要在⼀天中选择⼀秒钟并不容易。 美好的⼀天⾥，我真的想要
多录制三秒或四秒， 但是我只能把它压缩到⼀秒， 但是即使压缩
到了只有⼀秒钟， 也⾜以让我记住⼀整天的回忆。

It's also kind of a protest, a personal protest, against the culture

we have now where people just are at concerts with their cell
phones out recording the whole concert, and they're disturbing
you. They're not even enjoying the show. They're watching the
concert through their cell phone. I hate that. I admittedly used
to be that guy a little bit, back in the day, and I've decided that
the best way for me to still capture and keep a visual memory
of my life and not be that person, is to just record that one
second that will allow me to trigger that memory of, "Yeah,
that concert was amazing. I really loved that concert." And it
just takes a quick, quick second.
这个项⽬也是⼀种个⼈的抗议⾏为， 抗议这样的⼀种现象、⼀种
⼈， 他们参加⾳乐会时会⽤⼿机把整场⾳乐会 都录下来，并且打

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扰了你欣赏⾳乐。 他们可能根本不喜欢这个⾳乐会。 他们在⼿机
上观看⾳乐会。 我不喜欢这样。我承认或多或少的 我也曾经如
此。⽽我后来意识到， 让⾃⼰记录和保留视频资料，同时又避免
成为 我不喜欢的那种⼈的最好的⽅法就是，只录⼀秒钟的时间，
让我能够触发对当天⽣活的回忆。 “⾳乐会棒极了，我真的很喜
欢。” 只需要短短的⼀秒钟。

I was on a three-month road trip this summer. It was

something that I've been dreaming about doing my whole life,
just driving around the U.S. and Canada and just figuring out
where to go the next day, and it was kind of outstanding. I
actually ran out, I spent too much money on my road trip for
the savings that I had to take my year off, so I had to, I went to
Seattle and I spent some time with friends working on a really
neat project. One of the reasons that I took my year off was to
spend more time with my family, and this really tragic thing
happened where my sister-in-law, her intestine suddenly
strangled one day, and we took her to the emergency room,
and she was, she was in really bad shape. We almost lost her a
couple of times, and I was there with my brother every day.
今年夏天我度了三个⽉的假。 这是我⼀⽣梦寐以求的东西， 开车
环游美国和加拿⼤， 每天只需想明天去哪⾥， 这样的⽣活太棒
了。 后来没钱了，我在路途上花了太多的钱， 把为休假⼀年准备
的存款都花光了， 所以我不得不跑到西雅图跟⼀些朋友⼀起 花了
⼀点时间赶了⼀个⼩项⽬赚钱。 我休假⼀年的⽬的之⼀是花更多
的时间陪伴我的家⼈， ⽽这期间发⽣了⼀件悲剧性的事情， 我的
⼩姨⼦， ⼀天突发肠梗塞， 我们把她送到了急救室， ⽽她的情况
⾮常的糟糕。 我们有好⼏次差点就失去了她， 我跟我的哥哥每天
都守在旁边。

It helped me realize something else during this project, is that

recording that one second on a really bad day is extremely
difficult. It's not -- we tend to take our cameras out when we're
doing awesome things. Or we're, "Oh, yeah, this party, let me
take a picture."

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这让我意识到在这个项⽬的另⼀个重要之处， 就是在这些悲伤的
⽇⼦中记录⾃⼰的⽣活 是⾮常⾮常的困难的。 它不像是 --- 如果我
们要做⼀些很酷的事情时，我们可能会带上相机。 或者，“哦，这
个聚会太棒了，我要拍张照。”

But we rarely do that when we're having a bad day, and

something horrible is happening. And I found that it's actually
been very, very important to record even just that one second
of a really bad moment. It really helps you appreciate the good
times. It's not always a good day, so when you have a bad one,
I think it's important to remember it, just as much as it is
important to remember the [good] days.
但是我们很少在有不好的事情发⽣时这么做， 很少在⼼情糟糕的
时候拍照。 ⽽这让我发现了记录⽣活中⾮常糟糕的时刻， 哪怕只
记录⼀秒钟，是多么的重要。 它会让你更加珍惜那些好时光。 ⽇
⼦不会⼀帆风顺，但你某天过得不顺利， 我认为将它记录下来是
很重要的， 尽你的所能去回忆那些（好）时光。

Now one of the things that I do is I don't use any filters, I

don't use anything to -- I try to capture the moment as much
as possible as the way that I saw it with my own eyes. I
started a rule of first person perspective. Early on, I think I
had a couple of videos where you would see me in it, but I
realized that wasn't the way to go. The way to really
remember what I saw was to record it as I actually saw it.
我录制的所有视频都没有做过特效处理， 什么处理都没有——我
希望⾃⼰录制的视频 能够最⼤程度的还原我眼睛看到的样⼦。 我
⼀开始就⽤第⼀⼈称视⾓拍摄。 早先我想过⽤两个摄像机， 其中
⼀个把我录进去，但是后来觉得这不是我想要的。 真正记录我的
⽣活的⽅法， 是记录我实际看到的样⼦。

Now a couple of things that I have in my head about this

project are, wouldn't it be interesting if thousands of people
were doing this? I turned 31 last week, which is there.

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现在关于这个项⽬，我有的⼀些想法是， 如果很多⼈都⼀起做这
件事情，会不会很有趣？ 视频⾥是上周我刚满31岁的样⼦。

I think it would be interesting to see what everyone did

with a project like this. I think everyone would have a
different interpretation of it. I think everyone would benefit
from just having that one second to remember every day.
Personally, I'm tired of forgetting, and this is a really easy
thing to do. I mean, we all have HD-capable cameras in our
pockets right now -- most people in this room, I bet -- and
it's something that's -- I never want to forget another day
that I've ever lived, and this is my way of doing that, and
it'd be really interesting also to see, if you could just type in
on a website, "June 18, 2018," and you would just see a
stream of people's lives on that particular day from all over
the world.

我想如果每个⼈都像我这么做， 那⼀定会⾮常的有趣。 我相信每

个⼈都会有⾃⼰的解读。 我相信每个⼈都会从他们每天⼀秒钟的
视频记录中获益。 就我⽽⾔，我不喜欢忘记过去， ⽽录制视频是
⾮常简单的事情。 我们每个⼈的⼜袋⾥都有⼀台能录制⾼清视频
的摄像机—— 我打赌绝⼤多数⼈都有—— 或者有类似的东西——
我再也不想忘记我⽣活过的任何⼀天， 这是我记住过去⽅式， ⽽
如果你能够在⼀个⽹站上输⼊ “2018年6⽉18⽇”，然后就能 看到全
世界 ⽆数的⼈在那天的⽣活视频， 那⼀定⾮常有意思。

And I don't know, I think this project has a lot of

possibilities, and I encourage you all to record just a small
snippet of your life every day, so you can never forget that
that day, you lived.
我不知道，我觉得这个项⽬有很多可能性， 我号召你们每个⼈每
天都录制⾃⼰的⼀⼩段视频， 这样你就不会忘记你⽣活过的⽇
⼦。

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Day. Date.

那些限制你的执念是你不幸之源
Don’t believe everything you think

This elephant has incredible strength. She can uproot a tree

with her trunk alone. Yet she will remain in captivity, held by
only a light rope. Despite her ability to easily break away, she
doesn't even try. Why?
这只⼤象有很不可思议的⼒⽓， 它只⽤象⿐就能把树连根拔起。
但它却仍然被⼀条细绳给囚禁着。尽管它有能⼒可以轻易挣脱，它
却试也不试。为什么？

It starts when she is young. She is first tied down when she is
small and not yet strong enough to break the rope. She'll try at
first, try as hard as she can to break free, and try and try, but
eventually realize she can't. Suddenly, something attaches
itself to her that is stronger than any rope or chain or fence. It's
the belief that she can't break free. It's this belief that holds her
back - despite her ability.
这要从它年轻时说起。它很⼩时就被绑住， 当时的⼒⽓还不⾜以
扯断绳⼦。⼀开始它会尝试，尽⼒去挣脱， ⼀试再试， 最终，它
了解到⾃⼰办不到。突然间，某种⽐绳⼦、 铁链、栅栏都还要强
的 东西跟它紧系在⼀起了。就是相信⾃⼰⽆法挣脱的执念。是这
种执念限制了它—— 尽管它有能⼒。

I've had these same beliefs - you may have too - beliefs that
held me back, beliefs that led me to feel unfulfilled in my
work, to struggle in my relationships and to live a life that was
far from the one I am living now.
我也有类似的执念—— 你们可能也有—— 这些执念限制了我， 这
些执念让我在⼯作上不得志， 在⼈际关系中挣扎， 且过着和现在
相去甚远的⽣活。

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Day. Date.
It was only when I became aware of my ropes and actively
pulled against them that I found myself in a different reality.
How do you break the ropes that tie you down? Don't believe
everything you think.
直到我意识到束缚我的那些绳⼦， 并主动去对抗它们， 我才发现
了⼀个不同的现实。你要如何挣脱绑住你的绳⼦？别尽信你所有的
想法。

When I was six years old, I had a favorite baby sitter, Amber.
One morning, my mother told me we couldn't have her babysit
because she didn't have enough money to pay her. So that
afternoon, I started my first company. I gathered rocks from
around the neighborhood, painted them with my art set, and
went door to door, selling them to our neighbors. That night, it
was Amber and I on the couch together.
我六岁时，我最爱的褓姆是安柏。有⼀天早上，我母亲告诉我，
我们不能再让她当褓姆了， 因为我母亲没有⾜够的钱请她。那天
下午，我成⽴了我的第⼀间公司。我从住家附近收集⽯头， ⽤我
的彩⾊笔做彩绘， 接着，挨家挨户拜访， 将它们销售给邻居。那
晚，我如愿和安柏⼀起坐在沙发上。

When I was young, I was bold, outgoing and fearless. I wore

what I wanted or didn't want to wear, guided by my own voice
that told me what would make me happy. I was also in love.
His name was Fernando, and he was wonderful. As with
everything else, I wasn't afraid to grab him with both hands.
As I grew older, this picture started to fade. My exuberance
was replaced with timidness, my leadership with conformity,
my boldness with fear.
我⼩时候很⼤胆、外向、⽆惧。我想穿什么就穿什么， 或者不想
穿上任何⾐服， 听从内⼼的声⾳去做让⾃⼰快乐的事。我也恋爱
了。他的名字叫佛南多， 他很棒。外向⼤胆如故， 我不怕⽤双⼿
搂抱他。 随着我长⼤，这个画⾯开始淡去。我的热情活⼒被胆怯
取代， 我的领导能⼒被顺从取代， 我的⼤胆被恐惧取代。

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Day. Date.
I don't think any of us leave childhood without some ropes
despite our parents' best intentions. I grew up with a mother
who was determined to give me the perfect life. Armed with
love and good intentions, she did everything for me to help me
be perfect. I'd pack a suitcase to go on a school trip, and she'd
unpack it and repack it in a more perfect way. I'd be ready to
turn in a school art project, and then she'd add her own brush
strokes to make it better.
尽管我们⽗母出于善意， 我想⼤家或多或少都还是 带着⼀些绳⼦
长⼤。成长过程中，母亲决⼼要给我 ⼀个完美的⼈⽣。带着爱和好
意， 她为了帮我达到完美， 什么都做了。为了学校旅⾏， 我打包
了⼀个⾏李箱， ⽽她会把东西都拿出来， 再重新打包得更完美。
我准备好要交⼀篇学校的美术作品， 她会帮我加上⼏笔让作品变更
好。

Later she told me when my choice of boyfriend or apartment

wasn't good enough. Although she just wanted what was best
for me, I stopped knowing what was best for me. An
unconscious rope was formed. I shouldn't trust my own voice
and my own ability, and I feared not being perfect. Other ropes
attached themselves too. I grew up in a family filled with
yelling, loud voices and strong opinions. To keep the peace, I
learned to stay quiet, to not rock the boat, to become invisible.
In school, I came to believe it's more important to blend in than
stand out. And the pain of an early heartbreak led me to hold
back in my relationships so I could avoid getting hurt. I'm not
good enough. Don't speak up. Don't stand out.
之后她告诉我，我选男友 或公寓的品味不够好。虽然她只是想要给
我最好的， 我却不再知道什么才是对我最好的。⼀条⽆意识的绳⼦
形成了。我不应该相信我⾃⼰的 声⾳、我⾃⼰的能⼒， 我害怕⽆
法做到完美。其他绳⼦也相继出现了。我在充满了吼叫、⼤声说
话、 表达强烈意见的家庭中成长。为了保持和平，我学会不作声，
不要惹事⽣⾮， 变成隐形⼈。在学校，我渐渐相信， 融⼊⽐突出
更重要。早期尝到⼼碎的痛苦， 让我在谈恋爱时有所保留， 才能
避免受伤。我不够好。不要畅所欲⾔。不要突显⾃⼰。

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 Day. Date.
Fear failure. These were my ropes. This isn't just my story.
Like the elephant, we all come to believe certain things in
childhood that weren't true - or at least are no longer true. But
we still live with them as if they are. If you've ever felt not
good enough, alone, unwanted, unloved, invisible, powerless,
like you don't belong - these are your ropes. If you've ever felt
you can't trust yourself, trust others, speak up, stand out, ask
for help, let others in, be accepted as you are - these are your
ropes.
害怕失败。这些是我的绳⼦。这不只是我的故事。就像那只⼤
象，在童年 我们都渐渐相信某些事， 但那些事并⾮真的—— 或⾄
少不再是真的。但我们仍把它们当真在过⽇⼦。如果你曾经觉得
⾃⼰不够好、 孤单、没有⼈要、没有⼈爱、 不被看见、⽆能⼒、
没有归属感—— 这些就是你的绳⼦。如果你曾经觉得你⽆法 相信
⾃⼰、相信别⼈、 勇于发声、表现⾃⼰、 寻求协助、让他⼈进
来、 让真正的⾃⼰被接受—— 这些是你的绳⼦。

These ropes hold us back. I found myself defaulting to others'

opinions when I should have been trusting my own, staying
quiet when it would have benefited me to speak up, and
blending in when I would have been happier if I had to
courage to stand out. This led me into a series of jobs that
ranged from tolerable to miserable. In one, I hoped I'd get sick
so I could stay home from work. It led me into a series of
relationships in which I lacked confidence in myself, the other
person and the relationship. These never worked out. My
beliefs affected the way I perceived the world, which changed
how I acted, which led to a self-fulfilling prophecy. I felt
small, and my world became smaller.
这些绳⼦会限制住我们。当我应该相信我⾃⼰的意见时， 我却顺
从他⼈的意见； 发表意见会对⾃⼰较有益时， 我却保持沉默； 有
勇⽓站出来我其实会更快乐时， 我却选择了融⼊。这导致⼀连串
我做过的⼯作， 从可容忍的到很糟糕的都有。其中⼀份⼯作，我
希望⾃⼰ 能⽣病请假，这样就不⽤去上班。这也导致我陷⼊⼀连
串 ⽆法信任⾃⼰、对⽅ 以及这段关系的困境中。这些关系都⽆法
成功。我的执念影响我看世界的⾓度， 这就会改变我的⾏为， 导
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Day. Date.
致了⾃证预⾔。我觉得⾃⼰很渺⼩， 我的世界就越变越⼩了。

What we believe has powerful effects. Decades of social

psychology research backs this up. In a study performed at
Dartmouth College, an ugly scar was placed on participants'
faces with makeup. They were then sent into a room for a
conversation and asked to report how people responded to
them with this ugly scar. But here is the twist. Right before
they left, the experimenter said, "Hold on a minute! We just
want to touch up your scar a bit." Rather than touch it up, they
removed it entirely.
我们的信念有很强⼤的影响⼒。有数⼗年的社会⼼理学研究可以证
明。在达特茅斯学院进⾏的⼀项研究 ⽤化妆的⽅式在受试者的脸上
加上⼀道丑陋的疤痕。接着，送他们到房间去与⼈交谈， 并要求他
们回报别⼈ 对这丑陋疤痕有什么反应。但，有个⼩花样。在他们离
开化妆室前，实验者说： 「等⼀下！我们想要 修饰⼀下你的疤
痕。」 但他们并不是修饰， ⽽是把疤痕完全拿掉。

So unbeknownst to them, the participants went into their

conversations, looking completely normal. Despite this, they
came back and reported how awkward their conversations
were, how people avoided looking at their scar, had trouble
making eye contact, and were tense and uncomfortable in the
conversation. Their beliefs about their scar led them to see
things that weren't really there and to make meaning of
innocent behavior. What could have been a perfectly normal
conversation instead became an awkward one. Their beliefs
created their reality. Other studies show the same effect.
受试者并不知道， 接着便去参与交谈， 外表看起来完全正常。尽
管如此， 他们回来时仍然回报了 他们的谈话有多尴尬， 对⽅如何
避免看着他们的 疤痕，眼神交流有障碍， 在交谈中很紧绷、不舒
服。他们相信⾃⼰有疤的执念， 让他们看见这些根本不存在的事，
替对⽅单纯的⾏为强赋予意义。本应是完全正常的交谈， 却变得很
尴尬。他们的执念造出他们的真实。其他研究也证明了同样的影
响。

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Day. Date.
Highlight an Asian woman's Asian identity before a math test,
she'll perform better. Highlight her female identity, she'll
perform worse. Lead a group of men to believe an athletic task
is diagnostic of sports intelligence, white men perform better.
Lead them to believe it'd diagnostic of natural athletic ability,
black men do. Give someone a white coat and tell them it's a
doctor's lab coat, they'll perform better on an attention task
than when told it's a painter's coat. In all of these cases, same
people, same abilities, same tasks - different beliefs.
在亚洲⼥⼦参与数学测验之前 就强调出她的亚洲⾝分， 会让她表现更
佳。若强调她的⼥性⾝分， 会让她表现变差。引导⼀群男性相信⼀项
体育任务的 表现可判断其运动智慧的话， ⽩⼈的表现会较佳。引导他
们相信这项任务 可判断其天⽣的体育能⼒， 则⿊⼈的表现会较佳。给
某个⼈⼀件⽩⾊⼤⾐ 并告诉他这是医⽣的⽩袍， 他们在注意⼒任务的
表现 会⽐说它是画家的画袍时更佳。在所有这些例⼦中， 都是同样的
⼈、同样的能⼒、 同样的任务——不同的信念。

And in each case, it was their belief that raised or lowered their
performance. How you see yourself and your circumstances
will affect what you see, how you act, and what occurs as a
result. It's almost as if our beliefs place a virtual reality headset
on us, a headset that allows us to see things that aren't really
there and sends us into a false reality. We have these headsets
even when they're miles from the truth. I remember hearing the
top model Cameron Russell share how models, despite having
the shiniest hair and the longest legs, are some of the most
physically insecure people on the planet.
在每个例⼦中，都是他们的 信念在提升或降低他们的表现。你如
何看待⾃⼰以及你的境况， 会影响你的所见、所为， 以及产⽣的
结果。就好像我们的信念会帮我们 戴上⼀副虚拟实境的头戴眼
镜， 这眼镜会让我们看到不存在的东西， 带我们进⼊虚假的现实
中。尽管和真相差了⼗万⼋千⾥， 我们依然带着这些眼镜。我记
得曾听过顶尖模特⼉ 卡麦隆‧罗素分享， 她说尽管模特⼉有 最闪
亮的头发和最长的腿， 她们却是地球上 对⾝体最没安全感的⼈。

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Day. Date.
And award-winning author Lidia Yuknavitch shared how she
didn't follow up on the literary representation she was offered
early in her career. The reason in her words: "We don't always
know how to hope or say yes or choose the big thing, even
when it's right in front of us. It's the shame we carry. The
shame of not believing we deserve it."
得奖作家莉迪亚‧约克娜薇琪 分享了她在职涯初期未能把握住 别
⼈给她的⼀个⽂学表现机会。引述她的话，理由是： 「我们不见得
知道要如何去期望、答应 或者选择这个⼤好机会， 即使它就在我
们眼前。 是因为我们⾃惭形秽。 觉得⾃⼰不值得拥有它。

Our headsets have us living into a false reality. They also cause
us to bump into each other. Once, I'd been dating someone for
a few weeks. We'll call him Ben. We talked every day. Then he
went on a work trip. For four days, silence. I didn't hear a
word. How would you interpret this? What's the first thought
that pops in your head? My beliefs led me to wonder what I
had done or said to make this once enthusiastic person change
his mind about me. I shared his silence with friends. One, who
admits she has trouble trusting people, was sure he was on this
trip with another woman.
我们的眼镜让我们 ⽣活在虚假的现实中。 也造成我们彼此的冲
撞。 曾经，我和⼀个⼈已约会了⼏周， 我们称他为班。 我们每天
都会聊天。 接着，他出差去了。 整整四天，⾳讯全⽆。 连个只字
⽚语都没有。 你会如何解读？ 你脑海中浮现的 第⼀个想法是什
么？ 我的执念让我认为 是我做了什么或说了什么 造成这个热情的
⼈ 改变了他对我的观感。 我和朋友们谈到他的⾳讯全⽆。 其中⼀
位⾃认⽆法信任他⼈的朋友， 她就很肯定他这趟出差 是和另⼀个
⼥⼈同⾏。

Another, who admits she's afraid of rejection, guessed he was

probably upset because I hadn't invited him as my date to an
upcoming wedding.
另⼀位坦承很怕被⼈拒绝的朋友， 她就猜他可能在⽣⽓， 因为我
没有邀请他⼀同 去参加即将举⾏的⼀场婚礼。

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 Day. Date.
And a third, who has trouble with commitment, guessed he
probably thought we were moving too fast and was taking
some space. Each person saw the same situation through the
lens of their own headset. Who was right? How should I
respond? Each of these assumptions leads to a different
response. Moving too fast? - I should pull back. But if he's
feeling rejected, this would just hurt him more.
第三位，她⽆法给⼈承诺， 她就猜他可能觉得我们的进展太快，
他需要⼀点空间。 同⼀个状况，但每个⼈ 都透过各⾃的虚拟眼镜
来解读。 谁对？ 我应该如何回应？ 每⼀种假设都会有不同的回应
对策。 进展太快？——我应该收敛⼀点。 但如果他觉得被拒绝，
这样做就会伤他更深。

Feeling rejected? - I should up my calls and invite him to the

wedding. But if he thinks we're moving too fast, this will just
push him away further. I was so confused. As I was ping-
ponging around in my own headset while briefly borrowing
some of my friends' headsets, this relationship died a slow
death. Are you ready for what was going on in Ben's headset?
He'd been deeply hurt by a past relationship, was afraid of
getting hurt again, and pulled away when his insecurities got
the best of him.
觉得被拒绝？ 我应该打个电话邀他⼀同去婚礼。 但如果他认为我
们进展得太快， 这样做会把他推得更远。 我好困惑。 当我在⾃⼰
的执念中反覆忖度， 并短暂藉由朋友的视⾓来评估状况时， 这段
关系正慢慢凋萎。 你们准备好听听在班的 眼镜中看到了什么吗？
他被过去的⼀段感情伤得很深， 他怕再次受伤， 当不安全感占上
风时就退缩了。

It was none of the things anyone had guessed. Sometimes our

headsets get in the way of our relationships. It took me a long
time to learn this. Just as our beliefs can hold us back, they can
also propel us forward. Let's go back to the scar study for a
moment. Imagine the opposite. Imagine the researchers place
something on the participants' faces that leads them to believe
they look beautiful and then remove it before they go into the
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Day. Date.
social setting. Now, what do you think they believe about
others' responses? How do you think they show up differently?
What difference does it make if you believe you're ugly or
gorgeous, good at math or terrible at it, good at sports or not? It
seems, a big one.
完全不是⼤家所猜测的答案。 有时我们的眼镜会阻挡我们的关
系。 我花了很长的时间才学到这⼀点。 如同执念能限制我们⼀
样， 信念却能策励我们向前。 让我们回到疤痕的研究实验。 做个
相反的想像。 想像研究者在受试者的脸上 加上了某样让他们相信
⾃⼰看起来变美丽的东西， 接着再把它除去， 才让他们进⼊社交
场合。 你想他们认为别⼈会如何反应？ 他们会有什么不同的表
现？ 你相信⾃⼰很丑陋或美丽、 擅长数学或是数学⽩痴、 擅长运
动或不擅长， 会带来什么样的差别？ 似乎会有很⼤的差别。

I finally learned this lesson. My headset led me to law school.

There my long-held false beliefs were reinforced: aim for
perfection, follow the crowd, fear failure. This was a familiar
path. Then one day, without thinking much about it, I signed
up for a class outside the law school, called Design Thinking
Boot Camp, a class that promised to unleash my creative
potential.
我终于学会了这⼀课。 我的眼镜让我进⼊法学院。 在那⾥，长期
跟着我的 虚假执念被强化了： 以完美为⽬标、 跟随群众、恐惧失
败。 这是条熟悉的路。 有⼀天，没多想什么， 我登记参加了⼀堂
法学院外的课， 叫做「设计思维训练营」， 这堂课保证能释放我
的创造潜能。

I had to design innovative products and experiences, or more

accurately, pull on almost every single one of my ropes. I had
to trust my own voice because when it comes to innovation,
there is by definition no one to look to for the answers. I had to
put myself out there because innovation doesn't come from
playing it safe. And perhaps most importantly, I had to be
willing to fail, to be willing to not be perfect.

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Day. Date.
我得要设计出创新的产品和体验， 或更精确地说， 要去拉扯我的
每⼀条绳⼦。我得要相信⾃⼰的声⾳， 因为创新的定义， 就是没
有⼈能给你答案。我得让⾃⼰⾛出舒适圈， 因为打安全牌不会带来
创新。也许最重要的是， 我必须愿意承受失败， 愿意接受不完
美。

The best designs came only after multiple failed attempts. If I

wanted to get it right, I first had to be willing to get it wrong. I
struggled in this class because all of the things that would help
me succeed were the same things I believed for so many years I
shouldn't do. I finally gave in to their crazy approach, and the
most amazing thing happened. I was free to go, play, try things,
experiment - to live as I had before my ropes.
唯有数次失败之后， 才会产⽣最好的设计。如果我想要把它做对，
我得愿意先犯错。在这班我很⾟苦， 因为能够协助我成功的⼀切，
都是数年来我相信我不该去做的事。我终于屈服接受他们的疯狂⽅
法， 接着最惊⼈的事发⽣了。我感到⾃⼰能⾃由地去玩、 去尝
试、去实验—— 去过着被绳⼦束缚前的⽣活。

I felt free in a way I hadn't since I was six years old, and I
accomplished things I never would have imagined possible. I
was astounded, proud, liberated - and confused. I wondered if
the beliefs that held me back in this class were the same ones
holding me back in other parts of my life. The seed had been
planted. Maybe I shouldn't believe everything I think.
从六岁之后我就没有感到这么⾃由了， 我也完成了以前想都不敢想
的事情。我很惊讶、骄傲、解放—— 且困惑。我想知道在这堂课中
限制我的那些执念， 是否同样也在我⼈⽣的 其他部分中限制了
我。种⼦已经种下。也许我不该尽信⾃⼰所有的想法。

Headset off. To take it off, I just had to realize I had it on.

Ropes broken. New beliefs lead to new actions. In my first bold
move since I was six, I turned down my offer to work at a law
firm and placed myself in a different reality. I experimented
with different jobs and took on various side projects, saying yes

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Day. Date.
to ones I previously would have said no to due to lack of
experience, trusting I could figure it out. I was still afraid of
failure and taking wrong turns, and sometimes I did. I just no
longer let this stop me. Then one day, I took on a 10-week part-
time position, coaching speakers. I fell in love with this work.
We're talking Fernando-level love.
拿掉虚拟眼镜。要能拿掉眼镜， 我得先要知道我已给⾃⼰戴上眼
镜。绳⼦断了。新的信念带来新的⾏动。我六岁之后做的第⼀个勇
敢的尝试， 就是拒绝了在⼀间 法律事务所⼯作的机会， 把我⾃⼰
放⼊不同的现实情境中。我尝试不同的⼯作， 同时承接各式不同的
业余专案， 对以前因缺乏经验⽽说「不」的事， 现在我会说
「好」， 相信我能想出办法。我仍然会怕失败，怕转错弯， 有时
我也的确会做错。我只是不再让它阻⽌我。有⼀天，我接了⼀项为
期⼗周的 兼职⼯作，演说者的培训员。我爱上了这份⼯作。且是佛
南多程度的喜爱。

No longer afraid to grab things with both hands, I went on to

start my own company, helping leaders become more powerful
speakers and to teach a communication class at Stanford.
Particularly meaningful for me is that I now get to give others
what I'd lost for so long - a more powerful voice. I broke other
ropes too. When I was self-conscious and shy, I never could
have imagined revealing my insecurities to you on a TED stage.
不再害怕⽤双⼿抓住， 我接著成⽴了⾃⼰的公司， 协助领导者成
为更优秀的演说者， 并在史丹佛⼤学教授沟通课程。对我特别有意
义的是， 现在我可以给予他⼈的东西， 正是我⾃⼰失去很久的东
西—— 更强⽽有⼒的声⾳。我也挣脱了其他绳⼦。当我很忸怩害羞
时， 我完全⽆法想像我能在 TED 舞台上 向⼤家揭露我的不安全
感。

That would have sounded more like a bad dream. Yet somehow,
here I am. This process didn't happen overnight. Each new
thought, each new action built on the one before it until I found
myself in a new reality. I still have ropes I'm working to break.
My goal is fewer over time. To get there, I remind myself of the

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Day. Date.
marshmallow challenge. Teams of four are given 20 sticks of
spaghetti, a yard of string, a yard of tape and a marshmallow.
The winning team is the one that can build the tallest
freestanding tower they can in 18 minutes. The marshmallow
has to be on top. This challenge has been given all over the
world to business-school students, lawyers, CEOs, CTOs,
engineers. Who do you think are among the top performers?
Recent graduates of kindergarten.
那听起来⽐较像是个恶梦。但，我就站在这⾥了。这个过程并⾮⼀
蹴可⼏。每⼀个新想法、每⼀个新做法， 皆从前⾯⼀个堆叠⽽来，
直到发现⾃⼰置⾝在新的现实情境中。我还在努⼒挣脱⼀些绳⼦。
我的⽬标是绳⼦能越来越少。为了达成⽬标，我会⽤ 棉花糖挑战来
提醒我⾃⼰。每队四⼈，每队能拿到 ⼆⼗条义⼤利⾯、 ⼀码长的
绳⼦、⼀码长的 胶带和⼀个棉花糖。任何⼀队只要能建造出 最⾼
的独⽴式⾼塔，就能获胜。时间限制⼗⼋分钟。棉花糖要放在最上
⾯。全世界都在玩这个挑战， 包括商学院学⽣、律师、 执⾏长、
技术长、⼯程师。你们认为表现最好的是哪些⼈？刚从幼稚园毕业
的⼩孩。

Here's why. The other groups will take what they think they
know, what they think is the single right answer, and end up
executing in the wrong direction. In contrast, kindergarteners
stay open to multiple possibilities. They test out different
options, they gather information by experimenting until they
find the best way forward. They have fun.
原因如下。其他队伍会⽤他们认为已知的知识， ⽤他们认定的单⼀
正确答案， 然后朝错误的⽅向执⾏。相对的，幼稚园⼩朋友 拥抱
所有的可能性。他们会测试不同的选项， 他们透过实验来收集资
讯， 直到他们找到最好的⽅法。他们玩得很开⼼。

What makes us so amazing as children is we live in a world

before ropes. In a world before "what's known," when there is
"what's possible." In a world before "I can't," when there is
"how could I?" In a world before falling and staying down,
when we fall and get right back up again - undeterred.

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Day. Date.
我们在⼉童时期之所以会这么棒， 是因为我们那时还⽣活在未受
绳⼦束缚的世界。⽣活在「已知」出现之前的世界， 那⾥充满着
各种「可能性」。那是在「我不能」之前的世界， 那⾥只有「我
要怎么做？」 是「摔倒就躺着不动」前的世界， 在那⾥，我们摔
倒之后 会马上站起来—— 不畏险阻。

In a world in which nothing is holding us back from our full

capacity. What the design class was for me, I hope this talk is
for you - a seed that gets you to question what you've
previously accepted as true, that makes you more aware of
your ropes, that helps you see they were always yours to break.
No matter who you are or where you are, in this moment, there
is the life that you can be living if you break your ropes. You
get there one new thought at a time, one new action at a time
until one day, you find yourself in a new reality. Thank you.
⽣活在没有任何东西 能限制我们发挥潜能的世界。希望这场演说
对各位的意义， 也是那堂设计课对我的意义—— ⼀个种⼦， 让你
去质疑过去所认为的真实， 让你更能意识到绑着你的绳⼦， 协助
你看清楚永远要靠 ⾃⼰去挣脱那些绳⼦。不论你是谁、⾝在何
处， 在这⼀刻， 如果你能挣脱你的绳⼦， 就能迎向崭新的⽣活。
若要到那⾥，要靠⼀次⼀个新想法， ⼀次⼀个新做法， 直到有⼀
天，你会发现 ⾝处在崭新的现实中。谢谢。

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