BEING UPFRONT OR ECONOMICAL WITH THE TRUTH?

Lifetime dilemmas involving frankness, sincerity or half-truths

Discuss in pairs/groups what would be the best option in these situations: being
upfront/straightforward? Telling white lies? Half-truths? Flat out lying? Explain
why.

Situation 1:
Your partner and you are going out for a special event. HE/SHE are going to wear a
suit/dress that they have recently bought. When they try it on, just a couple of hours before
the event, you manage to conceal the sense of disappointment in your eyes, but in all
honesty, you don’t like their outfit at all. It either doesn’t fit them or makes them look rather
bad. What would you do?

Situation 2:
Imagine receiving a gift from a partner that you really don't like. It would only be a matter of
returning the gift and getting a refund, but you think they just half-assed when buying you
the present. Like they didn’t even spend a couple of minutes thinking about how to please
you. What would you do?

Situation 3:
Your partner has recently been made redundant at work. You do not know how to break the
news to your children. Will it traumatize them? How can you tell them that they will have
to do without some amenities, tighten their belt and quit their trip to Disneyland? What
would you do?

Situation 4:
Your children’s (7 and 9 years old, respectively) beloved pet has caught an infection and has
passed away. Would it be a good idea to tell them that (insert name of the pet here) has
gone to heaven or do you think they are mature enough to come to terms with the natural
cycles of life and death? What would you do?

Situation 5:
An elderly family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Even though they
suspect about their poor health, they do not know about the gravity of their illness and
about their rather pessimistic outlook. Should you be frank and tell them about the severity
of their prognosis? Should you soften the truth? Should you be straightforward?

Situation 6:
Job Interview Feedback:
You are on a hiring committee, and a candidate performs poorly in the interview. Should you
provide honest feedback about their weaknesses, potentially jeopardizing their chances of
getting the job, or should you focus on the positive aspects to spare their feelings?

Situation 7
Appearance Changes:
A friend gets a drastic haircut or undergoes a significant physical change that you don't find
appealing. Should you be honest about your opinion, or is it better to keep your thoughts to
yourself to avoid hurting their feelings?

Situation 8
Professional Reference:
You are asked to provide a reference for a former colleague, but you had some reservations
about their work ethic. Should you be honest about your concerns, potentially affecting
their chances of getting the job, or should you focus on their positive aspects?

Situation 9
Social Media Photo:
A friend posts a photo on social media, and you think it doesn't represent them well (i.e.:
they have used a lot of editing and filters to change the way they actually look, to the
extent that it looks nothing like them). Should you comment honestly, or is it better to keep
your thoughts to yourself to maintain a positive online relationship?

Situation 10
Parental Advice:
Your friend is a parent, and you strongly disagree with their parenting style or decisions.
Should you express your honest opinion, risking damage to your friendship, or should you
keep your thoughts to yourself?

Situation 11
Relationship Status:
Your friend is in a relationship, and you suspect their partner is cheating. Should you share
your suspicions, potentially causing turmoil in their relationship, or should you stay quiet to
avoid interfering?

DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING

In which professions/situations is it advantageous to be a skillful liar/to be skilled when it
comes to lying?
What can people do (body language, gestures, voice tone, etc.) to avoid being caught when
lying?
Is this a skill (i.e.: being able to remain impassive when lying) that you would like to
acquire? If so, how and when would you use this skill?

Useful Language and Vocabulary

To ask something point blank
To be full of S*** (slang, vulgar: a liar)
A blatant/downright lie
To be blunt/abrupt vs. to be tactful
To break the news to someone
BS (something is BS)
To cherry-pick information in a way that suits your interests
To come clean about something
Comforting lies
To confess to doing something
To be “economical” with the truth
To be elusive/evasive about something
There is something fishy about this situation
To flat out lie about something
Half-truths
An outright lie
To make some inconvenient truth more palatable
A reality check (to give someone a reality check)
Someone is shady
To be straightforward/upfront about something
To take something as gospel
To take something at face value
To take something with a grain of salt
The ugly truth
To suspect about someone
To withhold information from someone